“Dark psychology” is a loose term for the darker side of human behaviour: manipulation, emotional control, deception, mind games, jealousy, push and pull, guilt, fear, silent treatment, love bombing, hot and cold behaviour and other ways of influencing someone for personal gain.

Sometimes people use these tactics consciously. They know exactly what they are doing. Sometimes they use them unconsciously, repeating patterns they have learned because they have seen that they work.

But why do people use them in the first place?

Usually, there is something they want. Attention. Validation. Control. Power. Reassurance. Emotional dependence. To feel wanted. To keep someone chasing them. Sometimes simply the satisfaction of knowing they can affect another person's emotions.

So they look for the point where a person is vulnerable.

Insecurity. Fear of abandonment. Need for validation. Low self-worth. Fear of being replaced. The need to be chosen. The inability to tolerate uncertainty.That is where the trap begins.

Give someone a little attention, then withdraw it. Make them jealous. Become distant, then suddenly affectionate again. Keep them confused about where they stand. Give just enough affection to keep them invested.

And now the person isn't responding to the relationship anymore. They are responding to the emotional highs and lows.

They start chasing clarity, reassurance and the version of the person they saw in the beginning. The uncertainty itself becomes addictive. They mistake anxiety for chemistry and dopamine for connection.This is where unhealed patterns become easy to exploit.

But an awakened, healed or emotionally secure person starts noticing something very different.

They can recognize where the behaviour is going.

They notice the sudden change in energy. The unnecessary jealousy. The hot and cold behaviour. The attempt to provoke a reaction. The little tests. The emotional games hidden behind casual behaviour.

They simply stop participating.

Because once you become more self aware and healed, you don't get stuck inside every emotion someone tries to create in you. You can feel jealousy without acting on it. You can feel the urge to chase without chasing. You can notice someone withdrawing without desperately trying to win their attention back.

You know what you want and more importantly, you know what you want to feel.You want safety. Consistency. Respect. Clarity. Peace.

So when someone brings confusion, competition, emotional chaos and unnecessary drama, the question isn't, “How do I make them choose me?” It's, “Why would I choose this?”

And that is where manipulation loses its power.

The very tactics meant to make you more attached can make the person using them completely unattractive instead.

What was supposed to create desire creates a complete turn off. And what was supposed to make you chase makes you lose respect.

There is no game to win because you have already decided you don't want to play.

Secure and healed people don't need to decode every mixed signal. An awakened person doesn't romanticise inconsistency or confuse emotional instability with passion.

They simply move away from what disturbs their peace.

Dark psychology can exploit an unhealed wound, but it becomes much harder to control someone who has become aware of their own wounds.

Because the moment you stop needing someone to validate your worth, their little tactics lose their leverage.

How time, experience, culture and consciousness shape what things mean to us

We rarely experience life in isolation. Everything we see, feel and understand is influenced by where we are standing at that particular moment in life.

Our experiences shape us. So do our surroundings, upbringing, culture, the people around us, the time we live in and the emotional space we are in. Two people can witness the same thing and walk away with completely different understandings of it because understanding isn't just about what is in front of us. It is also about who is looking at it.

• The Same Thing Can Mean Something Else Later:

• Think about a book you read, a song you listened to, or a movie you watched years ago. You come across it again after living through certain experiences, and suddenly a particular paragraph, lyric or scene feels like it was written just for you.The words haven't changed.You have.

• Something that made perfect sense to you ten years ago might leave you wondering today, How did I ever see it that way? Not necessarily because the truth changed but because your understanding of it did.

• The World Doesn't Look the Same From Every Corner:

• Someone saying “you need to let go” might mean letting go of resentment. Someone else might hear it as leaving a relationship. Another person might hear it as giving up on something they have fought for.Same words. Completely different meanings.

• And this goes beyond individuals. People often judge other cultures, regions and communities because of their food, skin colour, features, accent, clothes or traditions. We grow up knowing one little version of the world and then quietly start treating it as the standard for everyone else. It's like being a frog in a well and declaring, “This is what the whole world looks like.”

• That limited understanding can easily become discrimination, stereotyping and bullying. What is unfamiliar becomes “weird”, what is different becomes “wrong”, and what we know becomes the standard everyone else is expected to fit into.The world we have experienced is only a fraction of the world that exists.

• We Should Judge Less Quickly:

• We should be a little kinder to our past selves. Sometimes we look back and wonder, How could I have thought like that? How could I not have known better? Maybe because, at that point, we didn't.

• We made decisions with the awareness, information and understanding we had then. That doesn't make every decision right, but it does make growth possible without constantly shaming who we used to be.

• The same applies to other people.

• Understanding Doesn't Mean Excusing:

• Understanding where someone is coming from doesn't mean agreeing with everything they do. There will be times when we need to question, speak up, take a stand or tell someone that something is wrong.

• But there is a difference between speaking up because something matters and speaking up just to make someone feel small.

• Not every mistake needs humiliation. The purpose of speaking should be clarity, accountability or preventing harm not feeding our ego.

Life keeps changing shape.We change with it and the more we understand, the more comfortable we become with the fact that we don't understand everything.

The conclusion is, there is no real conclusion.

There is a particular kind of emotional dynamic we often get pulled into without even realising it. Someone is constantly struggling, constantly complaining, constantly feeling misunderstood, and slowly you become the person they come to for reassurance, sympathy, solutions and emotional support.

Psychologically, this can overlap with patterns like chronic complaining, learned helplessness, emotional dependency and guilt tripping. Not everyone who complains is manipulating you and someone genuinely struggling may simply need support But there is a difference between someone who is struggling and someone who repeatedly refuses to take responsibility for changing their situation and this is where we get trapped.

You see someone hurting, so you listen. You reassure them. You give suggestions. You make allowances. You spend your time and energy for what could help them. You adjust yourself around their problems. Slowly without noticing you become the one driving the entire situation and they sit comfortably in the backseat.

They get to complain about where their life is going, tell you how helpless they are, reject every possible solution and still expect you to keep driving. You are doing the effort, the emotional labour and sometimes even carrying the guilt of not doing enough, while they simply watch from the back and complain about the journey.

That is deeply exhausting because after a point, it isn't just frustrating. It becomes disrespectful to your own self. You are putting your time, energy, patience and genuine concern into someone who doesn't seem to value any of it. They may enjoy having someone constantly listen to them, rescue them, reassure them and sympathise with them, without having any real intention of changing.

And the moment you stop doing it, suddenly you are the 'uncaring' or ‘selfish’ one.

This is where the dynamic can become a subtle form of emotional manipulation. Not necessarily because they are consciously planning every move but because helplessness can become a way of getting attention, sympathy and emotional care. They can make you feel guilty for not helping, while simultaneously refusing to help themselves.

You are not their personal assistant. You are not responsible for organising their life, solving their problems, regulating their emotions and constantly carrying the consequences of their choices.

Everyone has the ability to evolve, heal and change but not everyone has the willingness to do it.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.”

Real change requires a person to eventually look at themselves and say, “Something has to change and I have to participate in that change.” It requires humility, accountability and sometimes the ability to put the ego aside and admit that your own patterns may be part of the problem.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.”

You can guide someone. You can love them. You can consider them. You can stand beside them while they are genuinely trying but you cannot do the inner work for them.

And there is another thing worth remembering about insecurity.

An insecure person will always find something or other to feel insecure about.

Its their pattern. You can reassure them about one thing today and tomorrow there will be something else. At some point, reassurance stops helping because the problem isn't the particular situation anymore. It is the pattern through which they see themselves.

You cannot keep pouring your energy into a bottomless cup and call it kindness.So before exhausting yourself trying to save someone look at what they are actually doing with the support you give them.Are they genuinely trying? Do they value your effort? Do they respect your time and energy? or have they simply started expecting you to keep showing up and doing everything for them?

someone else's refusal to take responsibility for their life does not make their life your responsibility.

Care about people. Help where you genuinely can. But don't let someone else's helplessness turn you into the driver of a life they themselves refuse to steer. Your energy deserves to be valued too.

Language is one of the first things we inherit.

We learn the sound of our mother’s voice, the words our grandparents use, the expressions that make everyone at home laugh .A language becomes more than a way of communicating. It becomes attached to people, places, memories and a certain feeling of home.

Different languages hold different emotions for different people. Sometimes, you can hear a language after years and suddenly feel closer to certain memories and emotions attach with it.

For many of us in India, Hindi is that familiar language. It is the language we grow up speaking, studying, reading and using in everyday life. But alongside Hindi, there are so many regional languages that carry their own histories, traditions and ways of expressing life.

One of them is Bhojpuri. Bhojpuri is spoken across parts of Eastern Uttar Pradesh,Bihar, Jharkhand and in communities far beyond. It has a rich folk tradition with lok geet such as sohar, kajri, chaita, biraha, purbi and jatsaar along with songs and traditions woven into festivals, seasons, marriage, childbirth, devotion and everyday life.

And for me, Bhojpuri is something I grew up with. It has always been spoken in my family. It has been there in our conversations, our laughter, our affection and all the ordinary moments.

I feel it even more during family gatherings and festivals. Family and Relatives coming together, the laughter, the teasing, the family jokes, the endless discussions and all the little drama that comes with having a large family. My dadi singing songs for different occasions and seasons. My grandparents telling stories and of course the kahawat!

My dadi seems to have a kahawat for almost everything. There is one for appreciation, advice, sarcasm, making a point and probably one for every kind of situation too.They carry her personality and the world she comes from. Bhojpuri is an emotion.

It’s an ancestral language, passed down through generations and I hope Bhojpuri continues to live in our homes, our songs, our festivals and in the everyday conversations of the generations that come after us.

I hope it receives the dignity, respect and recognition that every language carrying generations of people deserves.

Some languages tell us what we are saying, Some remind us where we come from and some feel like home. For me Bhojpuri is all three.

Nasadiya Sukta

The ancient hymn that asked: who really knows?

One of the most fascinating hymns in the Rigveda is the Nasadiya Sukta, found in Mandala 10, Hymn 129.

It is often called the Hymn of Creation, but it isn't really a story about how the universe was created. Instead, it is a meditation on something much harder to answer:

How did existence itself begin?

It doesn't pretend to know.

It begins by imagining a state before the familiar universe existed, moves through the emergence of something from that mystery and ends by questioning whether anyone, even the highest cosmic principle, truly knows how creation began.

1. Before being and non-being :

नासदासीन्नो सदासीत् तदानीं

नासीद्रजो नो व्योमा परो यत् ।

किमावरीवः कुह कस्य शर्मन्न्

अम्भः किमासीद् गहनं गभीरम् ॥

• Translation :

There was neither being nor non being then.There was neither the atmosphere nor the sky beyond it. What covered everything? Where? Under whose protection? Was there a deep, unfathomable expanse?

• The hymn doesn't simply say, “there was nothing.”

• It goes further. It questions whether the distinction between something and nothing even existed at that point. Before creation, perhaps even our basic categories for describing reality had not yet emerged.

2. Beyond death and immortality:

न मृत्युरासीदमृतं न तर्हि

न रात्र्या अह्न आसीत्प्रकेतम् ।

आनीदवातं स्वधया तदेकं

तस्माद्धान्यन्न परः किं चनास ॥

• Translation:

There was neither death nor immortality.There was no sign of night or day.That One existed, without wind, by its own power.Apart from That, there was nothing else.

• There were no familiar opposites yet: life and death, night and day, one thing and another.

• Then comes the mysterious phrase “That One.”

• The hymn doesn't name it or define it. It simply points toward an undivided reality existing by its own nature.

3. Darkness within darkness:

तम आसीत्तमसा गूळ्हमग्रे

ऽप्रकेतं सलिलं सर्वमा इदम् ।

तुच्छ्येनाभ्वपिहितं यदासीत्तपसस्

तन्महिनाजायतैकम् ॥

• Translation:

In the beginning, darkness was hidden by darkness.All this was an undifferentiated expanse.That which was concealed by emptiness came into being through the power of tapas.

• Here we begin to move from the completely undifferentiated toward emergence.

• Tapas can carry the sense of heat, intensity or creative energy.

• Something begins to become.

• The hymn doesn't describe a creator standing outside the universe and constructing it piece by piece. Instead, it gives us an image of something emerging from an unknown primordial state.

4. Desire arises:

कामस्तदग्रे समवर्तताधि

मनसो रेतः प्रथमं यदासीत् ।

सतो बन्धुमसति निरविन्दन्

हृदि प्रतीष्या कवयो मनीषा ॥

• Translation:

In the beginning arose Kama, desire,the first seed of mind. The sages, searching within their hearts through contemplation,discovered the connection between being and non-being.

• This is perhaps the most intriguing verse.

• Kama means desire, longing or impulse, and it is described as the first seed of mind.

• Something begins to move toward manifestation.

• The sages then try to understand the relationship between what is and what is not through contemplation.

• They aren't claiming certainty.They are searching.

5. The beginning of differentiation:

तिरश्चीनो विततो रश्मिरेषाम्

अधः स्विदासीदुपरि स्विदासीत् ।

रेतोधा आसन् महिमान आसन्

स्वधा अवस्तात् प्रयतिः परस्तात् ॥

• Translation:

Their extending line stretched across.Was there something below? Was there something above?There were generative forces and powers.There was self-power below and activity above.

• The completely undifferentiated reality now begins to acquire structure and distinction.

• Above and below. Potential and activity. Generation and manifestation.

• But notice it’s still asking questions.

• Even while describing the emergence of structure, he acknowledges that the beginning is difficult to know with certainty.

6. Who really knows?

को अद्धा वेद क इह प्रवोचत्

कुत आजाता कुत इयं विसृष्टिः ।

अर्वाग् देवा अस्य विसर्जनेनाथा

को वेद यत आबभूव ॥

• Translation:

Who truly knows? Who can say where this creation came from?The gods themselves came after the creation.So who knows from where it arose?

• If the gods themselves appeared after creation, then they could not have witnessed its beginning.

• So who can confidently tell us how it all started?

• The question shifts from “What is the answer?” to “Can the answer even be known?”

7. Perhaps even the highest One does not know

इयं विसृष्टिर्यत आबभूव

यदि वा दधे यदि वा न ।

यो अस्याध्यक्षः परमे व्योमन्

सो अङ्ग वेद यदि वा न वेद ॥

• Translation:

This creation, from where it arose,whether it was established or whether it was not; the One who oversees it from the highest heaven, perhaps knows or perhaps does not know.

• the hymn leaves us Not with a definite answer But with:

• Perhaps he knows. Perhaps he does not know.

• It leaves the ultimate mystery open.

Nasadiya Sukta doesn’t give a definite answer. Thousands of years later, we’re still asking the same question.Where did all of this come from?We don’t know. It makes us question what we think we know and be comfortable with not having all the answers.

Then, even nothingness was not, nor existence.

Love is more than an experience. It is the warmth of finding someone whose presence makes life softer, the comfort of being known and cared for and the quiet feeling of finding home in another person.

Perhaps its deeper meaning begins where the feeling meets responsibility. In showing up, being there, putting the ego aside and sometimes choosing the other person even when it isn't easy.

Two people will always carry different ideas, habits, ways of living, choices and tempers. Coming together does not mean erasing these differences. It is learning to let two separate lives flow together like a sangam, where neither has to lose itself for the union to exist.

That takes tolerance. The kind that allows differences to exist without turning them into constant conflict. Making small changes in ourselves when they bring comfort to the other, giving without keeping score and choosing understanding over the need to always be right.

Life will bring its share of ups and downs, disappointments and things that feel deeply unfair. The world can be harsh in ways we cannot always protect ourselves from. This is where having someone beside you becomes so beautiful. Not because they can take all the pain away but because you don't have to face all of it alone.

Sometimes it is a gentle touch, a quiet presence or simply sitting beside each other until the difficult moment passes. It is letting a small problem dissolve because the person matters more than being right. And sometimes the difficult things need to be faced, spoken about and understood so a way forward can be found together.

It is not something to prove to the world. It lives quietly in care, in service, in the little changes we make for each other and in the comfort we receive in return.

Perhaps that is what makes it home. A place where joy can dance with ease, where life can be shared in all its ordinary and difficult moments and where at the end of the day, after everything the world brings, there is someone to return to.

It is a wave between two people, constantly moving, adjusting and finding its way back to a shared rhythm.

There are things that make us pause without asking for our attention. A sunrise slowly filling the sky, the sound of rain against a window, mountains standing quietly in the distance or a simple evening when the work is finally done and there is nothing left to chase. A cup of tea, an unhurried moment, a mind that has finally become quiet. There is a certain kind of sukoon in these things, something that allows us to relax completely and simply absorb what is in front of us. Perhaps that feeling is where beauty begins.

That is also what makes a person beautiful. Not merely the way they look but the warmth that seems to follow them. Some people have a way of making a space feel softer just by being in it. Around them, laughter comes a little more easily, conversations linger a little longer and silence feels comfortable too. There is room to be silly, thoughtful, quiet, loud, completely ordinary. They make being yourself feel natural and perhaps there is no greater kind of beauty than making someone feel at ease in their own presence.

And sometimes, the more a person is known, the more beautiful they seem to become because there is suddenly so much more to see. The way their eyes become small when they laugh, the particular sound of that laugh, the way they eat, the faces they make without realising it, the little habits they probably never think twice about. Things that might look completely ordinary from the outside begin to feel precious once they carry the familiarity of a person who has become meaningful. Beauty finds its way into the smallest things.

Perhaps that is why beauty cannot always be understood at first glance. A face may catch the eye but it takes knowing someone to notice the things that make them uniquely themselves. Their softness, their quirks, their warmth, the way they speak, the way they care, the little pieces of themselves that slowly reveal who they are. There is something beautiful about discovering a person layer by layer, until what once seemed ordinary begins to feel quietly extraordinary.

Beauty is beyond looks. It makes us stay, It makes the mind quieter, the heart softer and a moment feel a little more like home. Something that can be seen but becomes far more beautiful when it can also be felt.

Where does this sensitivity come from? When does empathy become people pleasing? And most importantly, how do we stop letting it drain us and learn to use it in a healthier way?

Some people notice things that others don't.

A change in someone's tone. A pause in their reply. A different expression on their face. They can sense when something feels off even when nobody has said anything.

We often call this sensitivity or empathy.

Sensitivity means experiencing things deeply and being highly aware of what is happening around you. Empathy is being able to understand or connect with what another person might be feeling.

These can be beautiful qualities. They can make you observant, emotionally intelligent and considerate.But there is another side to it.Sometimes, being highly aware of other people's emotions begins as a way of feeling safe.

If someone grows up around unpredictable emotions, inconsistent affection or an environment where they have to be careful about how others are feeling, they may learn to constantly read the room.

Is she upset?

Did I do something?

Should I say something?

Should I stay quiet?

You learn to notice the smallest changes because knowing what might happen next feels safer.

Over time, this can become automatic.

And what looks like exceptional empathy from the outside can sometimes be hypervigilance or people pleasing underneath.

Different psychologists have explored different parts of this idea.

Donald Winnicott wrote about children becoming overly focused on their caregiver's needs when their emotional environment isn't secure.

Alice Miller explored how some children become highly attuned to their parents emotional needs while pushing their own needs aside.

Heinz Kohut emphasised the importance of feeling understood and emotionally responded to while developing a healthy sense of self.

Judith Herman wrote about how trauma and unpredictability can lead to heightened alertness, where a person constantly watches their surroundings for signs of danger.

Sometimes, the sensitivity that helps us understand people can begin as an adaptation to an environment where we needed to stay emotionally alert. And that adaptation may have helped us once But we don't have to live through it forever.

So what do we do with it?The answer isn't to become cold.You don't need to stop caring about people.

You need to learn where you end and another person begins.

1. Build boundaries

Someone being upset doesn't automatically mean you have done something wrong.

You can care about someone without fixing their emotions.

You can listen without becoming their emotional caretaker.

Boundaries don't make you less empathetic. They make your empathy sustainable.

2. Stop over reading everything

Not every change in someone's tone is about you.

Not every delayed reply means something is wrong.

Not every silence needs to be decoded.

Before creating a story in your head, ask yourself 'Do I actually know this, or am I interpreting it'?

That small pause can save you from a lot of unnecessary overthinking.

3. Build self esteem

When you trust yourself, you don't need constant reassurance from other people.

Your worth shouldn't rise and fall according to someone's attention, mood or behaviour.

Learn to remind yourself 'Someone else's reaction does not define my worth'

4. Learn to notice yourself too

Highly empathetic people can become so good at understanding everyone else that they forget to check in with themselves.

Pause and ask:

What am I feeling?

What do I need?

Am I helping because I genuinely want to or because I feel guilty saying no?

Give your own emotions the same attention you give to everyone else.

5. Don't confuse empathy with responsibility

You can understand someone's pain without making it your job to rescue them.

You can support someone without carrying them.

You can love someone and still let them deal with the consequences of their choices.

Empathy says, “I understand.”

Responsibility says, “I have to fix this.”

They are not the same thing.

6. Build confidence through action

Confidence isn't something you simply think your way into. It grows when you repeatedly prove to yourself that you can handle things.

Say no when you mean no.

Express your opinion.

Make decisions without always looking for approval.

Walk away from situations that repeatedly hurt you.

Every time you stand by yourself, your trust in yourself grows.

7. Give your sensitivity a direction

Your sensitivity isn't something you need to get rid of.

It can help you understand people better, create deeper relationships, notice what others miss and bring a lot of warmth into the world.

The important thing is not letting your sensitivity become a reason to abandon yourself.

Listen carefully.

Care genuinely.

But keep your boundaries.

Become secure enough to not be controlled by others

As humans, we are already complete. We don’t need someone to complete us. That belief often comes from a place of scarcity.

Wanting someone for companionship, to share life with, to grow with and to have someone beside us is healthy. But expecting someone to fill the emptiness within is something else.

How can we expect someone else to love, care for and choose us when there is no real comfort in our own company? When there is constant dissatisfaction with who we are, when life has stopped feeling exciting and the dancing, laughing, creating, exploring and little things that once brought joy have slowly disappeared?

Sometimes the search for a relationship can mean searching for something that feels missing within.

And when we don’t know how to give ourselves that love and care, we can become dependent on another person for every little emotional need. We may attach ourselves to the wrong people, accept things we normally wouldn’t, or even become a version of ourselves we don’t recognise just to keep someone around.

Then it stops being just about companionship. It becomes dependency. And dependency can become toxic, not just for us but for the person we’ve placed that responsibility on.

Expecting someone else to give us all the love we have been deprived of can become unfair. Because love shouldn’t be about making another person responsible for everything we lack within ourselves. That isn’t love but selfishness.

So accept every part of yourself. Heal what needs healing. Become a better version of yourself for yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and build a life that feels good even when no one else is around.

Then someone can come into that life not as a missing piece, but as companionship. Someone to share the life that already exists. Because love is also about give and take. You water me and I'll water you.

“The love you seek outside is within.”

They say, read the book but don’t ask who the author is. Because sometimes you can deeply connect with what someone has written, only to find out that the person behind it has lived or done things that completely go against your values. And suddenly, you question the book too.

Sometimes you meet someone and you really like them. The way they think, the things they say, their perspective on life. So much of it resonates with you.

Then you learn more about them and realise there are things they believe in that are completely opposite to your own values. Does that mean you should hate them now? Not at all.

We’re all a combination of things. Some parts of us will resonate with someone, some won’t, and some might even be completely opposite to their beliefs. That’s normal. That’s how humans are.

We don’t have to put people on a pedestal and expect them to think exactly like us. Your 6 can be their 9. You yourself have mixed opinions, complexities and contradictions. You’re not going to be right for everyone either. or sometimes Maybe They are not right or wrong it's just you portraying your judgment.

Keep the ego aside. Take what resonates with you, appreciate it and leave what doesn’t.

You can like someone even if you don’t resonate with everything they say.

Everyone has a shadow side. You do too.

That’s duality. That’s nature. That’s life.

The first step toward healing is optimism, the ability to see a ray of hope even in the darkest room. That is what optimism truly means.

When you are shattered, lost and torn apart with no support, no resources and no strength left yet you still hold the firm belief that this is just a phase and not your destiny, that is when you begin taking charge of your life.

Blaming life and feeling hopeless is very human but staying in that state will not change anything.

In order to come out of it, you have to support yourself. Even if you have lost everything possible, no people, no resources, no strength, you still have your mind and that is where the main part begins: positive affirmations.

Affirmations are something most of us have heard about but people often misunderstand how they truly work. I am not talking about affirmations done just for the sake of it, pretending to be someone else, repeating random lines in front of a mirror, or writing them mechanically again and again. That is not the real purpose.

The true goal of affirmations is to change your mindset and belief system. So instead of focusing only on rituals, focus more on practicality and consistency.

Now, what are positive affirmations, and how do you actually use them?

They are not anything fancy.

They are simply your self talk, the voice in your head that constantly speaks to you and the feelings you carry about yourself.

You need to start speaking to yourself the same way you would speak to someone you deeply love and care about.

For example, if you struggle with low self esteem, begin noticing the voice inside your head. Pay attention to how it talks and what it says. You will realize that most of the time, it is discouraging, critical and harsh.

That inner voice constantly feeds your brain with thoughts connected to insecurity and low self worth.

Now, to change that, start changing the words. If your mind says, “I am less,” replace it with, “I am enough,” “I am capable,” or any positive statement that genuinely feels supportive to you.

Start feeding your mind with the person you want to become. The brain works like clay and words slowly help shape it.

And do not expect this to work in one hour or one week like many people online claim these days.

Healing is not linear it's spiral. It takes time. Sometimes months, sometimes years.

And there is nothing to fear about that. The more sincerely and effectively you put in the work, the better and faster the results become. The goal should not be speed but real transformation.

There are affirmations for almost every struggle people face. Many people believe they must only use affirmations suggested by some “coach” or influencer. But honestly, these are your thoughts and your emotions. Words that feel natural and personal to you will always have a deeper impact.

You may copy someone else’s affirmations, but if you cannot emotionally connect with them, they may feel empty, almost like a formality.

Affirmations are also not limited to standing in front of a mirror or writing in a notebook. The real goal is to work on your inner voice, the one closest to you.

While thinking, pause and reflect. Change the words you use toward yourself. Practice it while falling asleep, while waking up and during difficult moments.

The internet today is full of advice and resources and it can become overwhelming to follow everyone.

So follow what genuinely feels real and meaningful to you not something based on fear, pressure or forced positivity.

And regarding the effects, over time visible changes do happen. First, your thinking begins to change. Then your beliefs slowly rewire themselves. Eventually, that reflects in the way you act, behave, and see yourself.

But do it as a way of living, not as a temporary task.

Be kinder and more positive toward yourself.

Because things really do get better.

Thinking about something for more than a day can be harmful. Sometimes, we overthink the same topics for years and that itself becomes a disease that needs healing.

Thinking is healthy when it helps us make strategies and decisions. But overthinking is unhealthy. It consumes unnecessary mental space, helps us achieve nothing, and slowly makes us sick mentally and physically.

When there’s an issue, try to make a strategy to overcome it. If a plan is made great. Now apply it. Simply. But after making a strategy, don’t dive into endless overthinking like how, when, what if, etc. You’ve already done the thinking part. Now don’t interrupt action with overthinking.

And sometimes, even making a strategy feels extremely hard or impossible. In that case, leave it right there. There is no need to force your mind. Surrender it to God. He knows better.

Tell God: “I can’t solve this.”

Even surrender your overthinking to Him. You’ve done your part now let the rest be up to God: how, when, and in what way.

God is great. When things feel difficult, give them to Him. He will handle it.

Also remember overthinking is an addiction.Even when everything is fine, the mind tries to bring back old problems or focuses on minor inconveniences just to get that little rush of “solving” something and staying stuck in the loop. Be aware of this pattern.

When you feel unable to make a decision, surrender it to God. He will either fix it, give you clarity, or solve it in His own way.

If you catch yourself doubting or overthinking about your plans, past, or future and it’s not strategic but just habitual overthinking, pause right there. Focus on the thought. Stare at it for a moment. It will dissolve.

And just say: “God, take this back. It’s not serving me anymore.”