I don’t know much, but I know I love you. If you feel like checking out my writing group this month, please do so. Zoom link is below. We meet EVERY Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday 11am-2pm (EST).

At 11am we say hello and I read a passage or two from whatever book is striking my fancy that week, then I lead a short …

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Not sure if this retreat is for you?

👉🏻Do you like really, really excellent yoga classes with supreme hands-on assists? (Nikki Viella is it)

👉🏻 Would you like the opportunity to read a few pages of your work in a friendly group setting and get some not nasty but also real feedback?

👉🏻 Do you like to eat delicious food?

👉🏻Do you like to sleep?

👉🏻 Do you like a gorgeous bucolic fall setting with Catskill views?

👉🏻 Do you like crisp white sheets and your own private bathroom in which you can poop & pee & stare at yourself in the mirror undisturbed?

Do you like being led into cosmic meditations and guided breath work before being read an awe inspiring passage and then given a fun writing prompt? (That’s my job.)

👉🏻 Are you unsure whether you like to be in groups of people and afraid that someone will be really crazy and you’ll wanna go home right away but then it turns out that you really like the other people and it’s super fun (even though of course there’s always somebody you don’t really like, and maybe even think is insane, but that’s important because then you have something to gossip about and something to brush up against and that resistance offers resiliency and it’s sort of the jus of life, really, when you think about it) and suddenly you’re laughing and playing parlor games and you’re sleeping so deeply and nourished so well and your joints feel lubricated and your imaginative facilities are sparked and open to new portals and you’ve had the best time of your life and you actually never wanna leave?

🔥 well then this retreat is for you!

We have rooms galore and we want you. Don’t be shy. Email me. aauder@icloud.com

Rensselaerville, NY at Hilltown Commons

xo Alex

Writing Group Subscribers: the monthly Zoom link will be in your inboxes. We start Sept 1st, but obviously come in whenever you can/want. I priced the membership so that you would feel it was worth your while—even if you are not actually using the link all the time. As you know, I lead the first 20 minutes of every session with a little reading and a short meditation. Then we turn off our video, mute ourselves and…write. Sometimes we complain or celebrate in the chat box. You can come and go as you please. A little before 2pm we say goodbye. We do it all again the next day, and eventually some of us have written a book.

If you are not subscribed to my Zoom writing group and you want to be—simply click the link below for the details. Once you subscribe I will send you the Zoom link.

See you next week, I hope.

We’re back. No need to hop on a call to discuss the details. All you need is here. Your favorite yoga teacher (Nikki), and your favorite ex-yoga teacher (me), both of us at my favorite NY retreat location: Hilltown, a historic estate on 100 acres of pastoral land in Rensselaerville, bordered by the Huyck Preserve, just steps away from Myosotis Lake, over-looking the Catskill Mountains.

If you’ve been here before you know its charm—but guess what? Now every room really does have those good sheets, and the good light bulbs, and the pub/dining room has been spiffed up! Now we have a pool table and foosball in the Pub (yes, we have our own Pub):

What do we do at this thing?

• Arrive Thurs Oct 22nd, late afternoon (first meal is dinner in the pub), leave Sun Oct 25th (last meal is brunch in the pub).

• Start every morning in our own yoga studio on the property with the crème de la crème of yoga teachers (lucky us): Nikki Vilella . You can’t get a better yoga class. I’m serious.

• I’ll be taking the morning yoga classes, then I’ll sort of sneak up out of Savasana and lead a meditation that will in turn lead to a fun and simple writing prompt (in the pic above you can see folks doing the prompt after Nikki’s class).

• Then we will eat yummy food (every day a light breakfast, big lunch, big dinner, all served at our very own restaurant/lounge/pub at Hilltown.

• Use the majority of the day to work on your project, read, hike, nap, and/or do nothing.

• I’ll be leading afternoon and evening salons for sharing & workshopping your project (optional, of course). Enjoy a round of generative feedback from your fellow writers. Learning to give concise and thoughtful feedback is a great way to exercise your editing chops for your own work.

• You might have a project you are devoted to and you just need time to work on it and want some live ears to hear it. Or maybe you are starting something and you need to figure out what it is and how to proceed. Maybe you are editing the final draft. Maybe you are organizing visual images/paintings, writing a proposal, writing a script, cataloging poetry, or maybe you just want to do the morning writing prompts, move around, laugh, and eat.

*You may choose to be more solitary and work the entire time on your own. No need to be social and no need to participate in the group writing exercises.

• Evening cocktails/mocktails

• After dinner parlour games (some come just for this). IYKYK.

• We will be living between two turn of the century houses and some late 60’s dorm-style buildings in which each bedroom is ensuite and most have their town desks. Plenty of inside and outside common area space in which to mingle and/or have a meltdown. Did I mention the tennis court? (I hate tennis, but I want you to enjoy yourself.)

  

  

Some rooms are like this (all with private bathrooms):

Some rooms are in the more 70’s motel vibe houses (all beds now have crisp white sheets & european style duvet):

Prices range from: $2,000 (private large room) to $1,600 (shared room). Everything included. Plus some nudity.

• Email me with a brief description of what you plan to work on (unless you are coming just for the yoga and all you want to work on is your hot body, no judgement for being superficial):

  info@maguyoga.com & specify if you want a private or shared room please xo

• Reserve a room with a non-refundable Venmo deposit (about half of your room’s price—the final balance can be tweaked once your room is assigned).

  Venmo: @alexandra-auder

Easy walk to this waterfall:

xo

Alex

Take me up one of the two last rooms left at my Villa Bice artists retreat in the mountains of Tuscany…right around the corner: July30-Aug6.

It’s always temperate in San Marcello Pistoiese and you can always dip into one of the multiple cold mountain spring water pools scattered throughout the gorgeous property.

Want some live ears and/or eyes on your current project? We share are work in reading salons, screenings, and installations. The vibe is casual, work alone as much as you like. The charming town is right outside the villa gate if you need to get away. Hiking, river swimming, little villages nestled in the mountains, big delicious meals.

We have one private ensuite room available and another cute airy private room like the one pictured above with the billowing curtains.

We found really affordable tickets from Philadelphia to Milan, but the closest airport is Florence (90min drive to the villa). If you land elsewhere (like Milan or Rome), public transportation is easy and fast. From Florence it’s a train ride to Pistoiese and a bus to San Marcello.

Write me at info@maguyoga.com if you want a last minute deal.

Plenty more pics and details in my Substack post here: Villa Bice Retreat

Hope to see you!

xo

Alex

What do we do? We say hi at 11am, then I read a passage from a book that has grabbed my attention. Here are some recent examples:

Winnicott & On Kissing, Tickling, And Being Bored (Adam Phillips)

On The Calculation of Volume (Solvej Balle)

Hell In a Handbag (Jibz Cameron)

The Wall (Marlen Haushofer)

Feeling and Knowing (Antonio Damasio)

A Manual For Cleaning Women (Lucia Berlin)

Night Painting (Kostas Anagnopoulos) *this gorgeous book of poetry is about to come out—only 200 copies! from Cuneiform Press—order HERE

Meet Me On The Dancefloor (Luzia Nehez and Harry Handforth) *a limited edition book of both fiction and photography — order HERE (and, yes, Luzia is my daughter).

And so many more: Woolf, Ernaux, Cixous…

After the reading we do a short little breath-focused meditation. Although the mediation is also inspired, somehow, by the day’s reading…hard to describe unless you’re there.

Then we mute ourselves and get to work.

On Friday mornings we hear some pages from our fellow writing group members. Then we get to work on our own stuff.

See you in September xo

Oh… you can still come to my Artist Retreat in Tuscany at Villa Bice July 30-Aug 6. I have deals for you. Click the link for details & email me if interested: aauder@icloud.com)

I recently found a note to myself that said: Melania, Strangers, JFKjr show—all the same, write review. I’m no longer exactly sure what I was thinking, but I can take a stab at it: they’re all really bad.

I love bad books and TV shows as much as the next person. I’m thrilled when the latest Nicole Kidman drivel appears. Though some shows are so bad that in order to survive them I have to fast forward through certain scenes. These very bad shows are so bad that they rejigger the system.

Take Love Story (the JFKjr/Carolyn Bessette story), for example. Love Story was so bad it made Nine Perfect Strangers—the worst in the Nicole Kidman TV canon—rise to the level of The Undoing. Love Story was so bad it made Vladimir (based on the great book of the same name)—the truly bad new show that required many fast-forwarding stints—seem almost not-so-bad. But then Melania was so bad it raised Love Story up by a couple of notches.

Melania was chilling and everything you ever imagined it was and worse. It made me agree with my mother about Lizard People. It would appear they exist. It made me think that all of the men in The Alabama Solution (an incredible documentary and equally as chilling as Melania) should be released from prison and replaced with Brett Ratner. Melania will send you into a state of comatose dry eye followed by repetitive nightmares of stilettos exiting shiny cars. But then again Strangers makes Melania seem watchable and in retrospect maybe even a little Cronenbergesque.

Yeah, yeah, of course I’m jealous of Strangers, as I am of all best-selling-shit-books. I prefer to listen to best-selling-shit-books so I can clean and drive while ingesting the shit, so maybe Belle’s doldrums voice made the book worse than it actually is? Considering it’s so very best selling? But ladies, please. How much you like this book is worse than thinking the moon has some effect on your body (the truth is that the moon’s gravitational pull meaningfully affects only large bodies of water—in other words, a mosquito hovering over your skin has more gravitational pull than the moon). Women are actually learning things from this book? How to name Vineyard houses with indigenous flair? Making sure trusts are untouched for length of marriage? Believe best thing husband can do is give present of key to private Massachusetts beach even though it should be universally illegal for earth to have private beaches and all Massachusettsan should be actively fighting to end this injustice? Finding agency through hosting kids’ party with candy tablescapes? Reminder not to be overly seduced by how good husband looks in blue suit? Because husband under blue suit is dick?

Oh, I just remembered one of the connections between these three works. Sarah Pidgeon’s version of Bessette, Melania herself, and Belle Burden share a common thread: an internal emptiness coupled with debilitating self-consciousness.

Remember the dance scene in Love Story when JohnJohn and Carolyn are working through their wedding planning issues in the Tribeca apartment? Carolyn is in JohnJohn’s Brown sweatshirt, undies, and slouch socks. This scene is meant to show a kind of candid, goofy, joie de vivre but it’s hands down the most self-conscious and inhibited dance scene in all of TV history. I was so mortified I had to fast forward. Here is the scene.

Oh and guess what? It turns out—surprise, surprise—that Belle never really had to fear financial ruin after all. Of course I didn’t need this New Yorker article to tell me so, but here it is: turns out there was nothing to fear and there’s still plenty of money left for Belle to survive without the man in the suit.

Ok, well, on a more positive note, I’ve got a few events coming up and some other stuff that might not give you dry eye:

My daughter has a book out! Meet Me On The Dancefloor:

It’s a gorgeous book: sumptuous photography by Cherry Handforth paired with Lui’s elegant, hilarious, sharp, and timeless stories. It’s about female friendship, the body electric, sex, space/time, and the tiny tender fleeting moments of youth. And there’s a pictorial intro by Michel Auder (yes, my father). Order HERE or go get a copy from MAST BOOKS.

I’m doing two NYC events (not sure if there are tickets left). First one is June 10th, 7:30 at Sid Gold’s Request Room, hosted by the one and only Sari Botton (right here on Substack as Oldster). It’ll be a really fun night of piano karaoke:

The other night is June 16th. I’ll be reading a wicked good story by Leanne Shapton at this event:

And the last event is June 20th at the Deep Water Literary Festival (Narrowsburg, NY) where I’ll be in conversation with Jamie Hood, hosted by Melisse Gelula (MEMOIRING here on Substack).

Get tickets HERE —and/or come to the other events with Joyce Carole Oates (!) and Siri Hustvedt (!) among others.

And Hey! Don’t you want to come to Italy for my writer/artist retreat?? July 30-Aug 6. Money an issue? Seriously write me if you are interested.

It’s all here: Alex’s Villa Bice Retreat

That’s it for now. I mean, yes, I’d love to sit outside with you and a cocktail and discuss Lisa Taddeo’s meltdown, but I’m stuck at my desk in Philadelphia.

xo

This is our last month of Writing Group before I take a summer hiatus (in September we begin again with our regular meeting times: Tuesday-Friday 11-2), and so I wanted to offer the Zoom link to all of you. Use it whenever—feel free to drop in and out as you please.

Keep in mind that for the first 25 minutes or so, I’m on camera reading a short selection from a book/essay/poem (whatever has grabbed my attention that week) and then I’m leading us in a short breath focused meditation. Sometimes we have a quick chat, but then our video is off, sound muted, chat box on, while we write for the rest of the session. Or we do whatever we do behind the digital screen. So if you pop in after 11:25 the group is very… abstract… but I’ll say hi in the chat box. Just before 2 we turn on our screens/unmute and say a quick goodbye.

Fridays we spend start the session chatting about our projects, our process or lack thereof, and often reading a few pages of our work to get some live ears and initial reactions from the group. I’ll probably read some new pages from “the new book” this month.

Last week I started sessions reading selections from The Wall — Marlen Haushofer’s dystopian masterpiece from the 60’s—and, in my opinion, the unsung mother of Calculation of Volume and My Struggle (both of which I am a huge fan). Currently obsessed with Haushofer.

(If you do so decide to become an official member— you get the monthly zoom link by paying $290 per year as a “founding member.”)

June 5th is our last Friday meeting before we re-start in September. Hope to see you!

xo

Here is the link:

Alex Auder is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Writing Group

Time: May 5, 2026 11:00 AM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

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Join us for our 5th annual Artist Retreat at Villa Bice, where we spend a week together in the chic & faded glory of this sprawling historical villa where Mark Twain lived for a year before he went bankrupt.

It’s hard to describe the magic of Villa Bice, but suffice to say its charms continue to call us back summer after summer.

Where is it? At the edge of a lovely, sleepy village in the Tuscan mountains called San Marcello Pistoiese. It’s about an hour 1/2 drive north of Florence and 45min from Lucca. There’s a train from Florence to Pistoiese, then a bus from Pistoiese to San Marcello Pistoiese that takes you right to the front gate of the villa. You can walk from the gate of the villa into the charming town (never crowded), or to stunning mountain hikes (with a pit stop at a classic refugio), or stroll through the valley from village to village. Or skip the hike and just get a spritz. And the best thing: it’s not too hot…it’s even cool in the evenings.

The villa pools and fountains (you can dip into) are filled with cool mountain spring water and only a short drive away are crystal clear, cool swimming rivers and gorges.

When? July 30—Aug 6th. Arrive Thursday July 30th, anytime after 12:00 (first meal is dinner), leave Thursday Aug 6th after our last big brunch.

The Food! Everything You Want to Eat (Emily Baird) happens to be my cousin AND a famous chef. Emily is from Northern California, went to culinary and pastry school in Vancouver, and has worked in restaurants in Portugal and New York. For the last 15 years she’s been a private chef for high profile clients and celebrities in LA, Aspen, the Hamptons and aboard private yachts and jets. Her style of food is California/Mediterranean with an emphasis on seasonal, organic, local produce and ethically sourced animal products. See more pics on her Substack.

What is this? This retreat is meant to give you ample time for pure creative self indulgence and plenty of space to be alone and copious amounts of beauty to inspire your latest project.

•Outline your next book/screenplay/play, compose, begin your epic poem, sketch/paint for your next “canvass,” birth your one-person show, write some jokes for your next set, finish that last/first chapter, choreograph, write and play music, write your proposal. Screen your film at our evening screenings under the stars.

•Participants will present their creative goals at the start of the retreat and have the option to present their work at the end of our time together.

•We will reserve some afternoon and evening hours for writing salons and screenings (artists present slide shows, filmmakers show their work).

•Meander around the stunning grounds, nap on the porch, take a dip in the various cool pools fed by natural mountain water to revive your fading intellect.

•From the side gate of the villa you can stroll into the charming town of San Marcello Pistoiese for a cappuccino &/or a Campari spritz to lubricate your imagination and incite story telling. Not more than five minutes from the gate (next to the 16th century private chapel) are cafés, restaurants, and a wine & cheese shop.

•Morning yoga/movement/meditation and a short writing prompt all in the gorgeous chapel, led my moi.

•Stunning mountain hikes.

•Fab swimming holes in gorges and rivers under medieval bridges.

•Remember: No pressure to join any of the group activities! If you want to work on your project all day and night and just grab a plate of food and hide away…we support you!

*Take note that we will take one night off of our provided dinners to go out on the town and have dinner out (not included in retreat price).

(*That said, if you are a fussy, high maintenance person—like if you can’t handle plumbing issues here and there, or perhaps a faulty lamp—then this retreat is NOT for you. The villa is HUGE and old and that’s what we like about it. But the plumbing & electricity can be fussy. The sheets are excellent, though.)

Included:

•Room and board, daily yoga class, writing workshops, salons,screenings, light breakfast (pastries and coffee), big brunch, big dinner, rides to local swimming holes.

•Meals are served buffet style, beautifully presented, and we usually eat together outside.

•We are not responsible for lack of creative motivation due to meeting sexy mysterious person at local cafe and hitching a ride to Positano and going bankrupt.

Cost: *prices may vary a bit once the group is set, depending on room/location.

—General cost of Private Room: from $2,700 to $3,000 for the week

—General cost of room for two (separate beds or shared bed): around $2, 500

—General cost of room for three ppl (three single beds): $2, 400

*If you are a group we have two separate little villa’s on the property—one with it’s own kitchen (inquire if interested). Kids are welcome.

To reserve a room/bed:

Email me (aauder@icloud.com) with your first and last name & a brief description of your work and what project you intend to work on, and if you want a shared or private room.

Once approved: Venmo a NON-refundable deposit (half of your balance) to: @alexandra-auder (8934)

It felt wrong not to let you know that Kula (the studio I teach yoga with) is offering a sale on our last few rooms that look exactly like what’s pictured above, only some with two queen beds. So bring a friend, sleep next to an intriguing stranger, or grab a room of your own. I’ve already said all there is to say about this retreat, I think? I’m madly in love with the place. You can make it as active or as relaxing as you like.

SALE LINK (or email jen@kulayoga.com). We have options. We want you. Please come?

Endless Winter FLASH SALE:

LAST FOUR SPOTS

solo queen bed: $2950

shared queen bed: $2450pp

ACT NOW: Offer expires in 48 hours

Eat delicious meals here, sleep here, swim here:

In the mood for this? (I’m telling you this pic is not staged, it is really this empty)

Or any of this? (I swear it looks even better than this when you’re there)

Feeling crazy?

Oh, yeah, there’s also us, your three wise wise wise teachers all of whom are over 50, so we get it:

This is truly one of the only Yoga Retreats I still teach. I trot my old wares out because I fell in love with this place over 10 years ago when I was first invited to be part of this dream team. Nick always says I shouldn’t hype places up too much, but this is one of the rare places that lives up to and beyond expectations.

It’s a yoga and surfing retreat, but you certainly don’t have to surf or do yoga. If you haven’t been to the Osa Peninsula, look it up now— it really does feel like you’re at the end of the world …if you like that sort of thing. Think: long dirt road, wild beaches lined with palm trees, emerald green jungle, Tapirs, four species of monkeys, wild scarlet macaws over head, and flickering stars in the huge night sky. Oh not to mention: two really, really smart yoga classes a day with three senior teachers— both in age and experience. And all sorts of other adventures you can add on to your week.

We’re leading the retreat at a newish location. We used this gorgeous place last year for the first time: Clandestina. Previously, our digs were more… How should I put it? Hippie-ish/rustic. The new place is fancier, which apparently appeals to more people? I can roll either direction (I’m happiest in an open air shack right on the beach.)

The food is delicious. The pool is gorgeous. The ocean is as warm as bath water and only steps away, the monkeys come right to the roof of the yoga deck in the jungle. You suddenly look 20 years younger because of the humidity. The fruit? To die for. I learned to surf here and I only surf once a year—yes, slow progress, but the damn warm, easy ocean spoiled me for good.

Details & Prices at Kula Yoga Project Retreats.

Interested? email: jen@kulayoga.com

Xo

This is truly one of the only Yoga Retreats I still teach. I trot my old wares out because I fell in love with this place over 10 years ago when I was first invited to be part of this dream team. Nick always says I shouldn’t hype places up too much, but this is one of the rare places that lives up to and beyond expectations.

It’s a yoga and surfing retreat, but you certainly don’t have to surf or do yoga. If you haven’t been to the Osa Peninsula, look it up now— it really does feel like you’re at the end of the world …if you like that sort of thing. Think: long dirt road, wild beaches lined with palm trees, emerald green jungle, Tapirs, four species of monkeys, wild scarlet macaws over head, and flickering stars in the huge night sky. Oh not to mention: two really, really smart yoga classes a day with three senior teachers— both in age and experience. And all sorts of other adventures you can add on to your week.

We’re leading the retreat at a newish location. We used this gorgeous place last year for the first time. Previously, our digs were more… How should I put it? Hippie-ish/rustic. The new place is fancier, which apparently appeals to more people? I can roll either direction (I’m happiest in an open air shack right on the beach.)

The food is delicious. The pool is gorgeous. The ocean is as warm as bath water and only steps away, the monkeys come right to the roof of the yoga deck in the jungle. You suddenly look 20 years younger because of the humidity. The fruit? To die for. I learned to surf here and I only surf once a year—yes, slow progress, but the damn warm, easy ocean spoiled me for good.

Details at kulayoga.com

Interested? email: jen@kulayoga.com

Xo

Hi,

Happy (?) February. As many of you know I run a Zoom writing group Tuesday- Friday 11am-2pm (EST). I’m offering the link to all of you (my paid subscribers, thank you) for February. Normally, you get the link with a “founding membership” ($290 for the year).

You can use the link anytime, any day, no pressure to show up for each session or even the entire session. Drop in and out as you please. I start off each session with a reading from whatever book strikes my fancy that day (last month I read bits of Lydia Davis, Angela Carter, Le Guin, & Claire-Louise Bennett to name a few), then I lead us in a short meditation, and then we write together—muted with screens off—for the majority of the session. On Fridays we chat about our progress, or lack thereof, and hear some pages from a group member, after which we discuss the work a bit, and then get on with our own projects.

Hope to see you—please feel free to use the link whenever you want.

Feb 20th I’ll have a sub leading the Zoom session as I’ll be leading my writing retreat in Saugerties —in which I STILL have rooms! Want a deal? Write me.

Here’s the Zoom link to my Writing Group:

Read more

(that’s me with Josephine, the Chelsea Hotel operator, in her operator’s booth “behind the desk.”)

I got a new laptop for Christmas and used the content “migration” from the old one as an excuse to do a deep digital cleanse. In the process, I found some old sections of Don’t Call Me Home. Some were pretty bad. Some surprised me, because I truly don’t remember writing them. A different version of the short scene I’ve posted below is in the published book. I found the voice in this old version strange, and really different than my middle-aged writing voice.

(Oh, and Writing Group is back in session. Tuesday-Friday 11am-2pm (EST), rolling admission, use the monthly Zoom link when you want, come and go as you please, but I’m there during those hours. I open each session with a short reading & simple meditations and then we work on our own stuff ‘til 2. On Fridays we check in with each other, and share some pages. It’s $290 per year. When you become a “founding member” you get the Zoom link. Details here.)

Here’s the old, little scene (& some more old pics), hope you enjoy:

(me & Rebi, my best friend in Don’t Call Me Home and the other person in the scene below.)

Read more

I’m back at this cozy winter location with two houses, Catskill Mountain views, and comfy, spacious private ensuite bedrooms. Space is limited.

Arrive late afternoon Thurs Feb 19th, settle in, fireside cocktail/mocktail, big dinner, rejoin by the fire for our first salon.

(Some participants bring work they are ready to read from, using the start of the retreat as a kind of deadline, and the retreat itself as a place to get live-ears and notes on their work. But don’t fret! If you don’t have anything you want to read during a salon, you just might generate some work and be ready to read at the end of the retreat.)

Fri-Sun the days will go roughly like this: •Coffee/light DIY breakfast •Movement/yoga/meditation & a simple group writing prompt (you can alway choose to skip group activities and keep working on your own project) •Big brunch •Rest of the day is your own for writing, reading, editing, walking/hiking (leisurely local strolls or Catskill Mountain hikes) •Evening fireside cocktail/mocktail •Dinner •Salon/readings/parlour games •Cozy winter sleep

•Mon Feb 23 same morning routine with departure after brunch! xo

• Depending on the group’s needs we sometimes hold afternoon salons for sharing & workshopping. Enjoy a round of generative feedback from your fellow writers (guided by me). Learning to give concise and thoughtful feedback is a great way to exercise your editing chops.

• You might have a project you are devoted to and you just need time to work on it. Maybe you want some live ears to hear it. Or maybe you are starting something and you need to figure out what it is and how to proceed. Maybe you are editing the final draft. Maybe you are organizing visual images/paintings, writing a proposal, writing a script, cataloging poetry, or maybe you just want to journal, do the prompts, move around, laugh, and eat.

• We live between two houses in this cute property with mountain views— one house has the main kitchen, dining room, and the living room we hold the salons in. The other house is directly next to the main house. Each house is well appointed with cozy couches, nooks, kitchens, and each has spacious, private, en suite bedrooms with big, comfy beds. There are also a couple of shared rooms available.

• The great thing about a winter retreat is that you are not as tempted to go outside and thus be distracted.

• Prices range from: $2,500 (largest rooms with king beds) down to $1,500 (shared rooms), all included. Inquire for details.

• Email me with a brief description of what you plan to work on: info@maguyoga.com & specify if you want a private or shared room please xo

• Reserve a room with a non-refundable Venmo deposit (details exchanged over email).

  

• Train to Hudson, NY or bus to Kingston, NY then cab or group pick-up to Saugerties. xo

Imagine if your dog’s consciousness was channeled through the body and voice of your mother. Apparently our dog is living in the 3rd circle of Dante’s Inferno, but spends his weekends on the 9th circle. This is a snippet of our dog’s internal monologue as channeled by my mother:

“Oh god how awful, you’re starving? What hell, I know. You want meat? Meat? I know, I know, it’s a nightmare, oh you poor thing, yes? What? I know, I know, you’re dying to go out, no, they won’t let you, no, you are now allowed, I let you out last time like you asked and you got me in biiiig trouble. You like bacon? Yes, maaaaayyybe, just maybe your mother will make you bacon, Oh, god, there’s nothing here, you poor, poor thing, I know. What? It’s hell, I know, truly awful.”

Now imagine this happening 24/7 and IF you decide to address it, then it goes like this:

“Mom, all dogs beg for more if you give them food at the table… so that’s why he’s whining… he knows you’ll give him more food. Dogs will keep eating and eating. If you feed them every time they whine they’d die of obesity.”

“Ha! You act like I’ve never had dogs, hahahaha, I’ve had dogs my whole life, ha!”

“So go ahead give the dog that cheese and then you clean up the vomit.”

“Calm down!”

1 minute of silence. Then: “Oh you poor dog, I know you’re in hell…”

And it all begins again.

What else is new? Writing group is taking it’s holiday hiatus on Dec 23rd. We return on Jan 6th.

Maybe you want to gift someone a yearly subscription (only $290!). They will receive a monthly Zoom link. We meet Tuesday through Friday 11-2pm (EST). I start off each session with a little reading, a short meditation, and then we work on our own projects (together, but separate). Fridays, at the beginning of the session, we chat about our writing troubles and/or a member reads some pages of their work.

What kind of stuff do I read in Writing Group to start the sessions? My favorite quote over the last few months is from Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Carrier Bag Theory Of Fiction:

“Science fiction properly conceived, like all serious fiction, however funny, is a way of trying to describe what is in fact going on, what people actually do and feel, how people relate to everything else in this vast sack, this belly of the universe, this womb of things to be and tomb of things that were, this unending story. In it, as in all fiction, there is room enough to keep even Man where he belongs, in his place in the scheme of things; there is time enough to gather plenty of wild oats and sow them too, and sing to little Oom, and listen to Ool’s joke , and watch newts, and still the story isn’t over. Still there are seeds to be gathered, and room in the bag of stars.”

I’ve also read from Woolf, Oliver Sacks, Hardwick, Kiese Laymon, Iris Owens, Paul B. Preciado, Viola Spolin, Artaud, Sontage, Jenny Erpenbeck, to name a few.

What else? My mother just called up to me to ask if I can open the cat food bag. I refused. Now she is telling that cat that I’ll be down soon to feed it because she can’t open the bag. Also, I can hear her pouring kibble into the dog’s bowl for the third time today and it’s only 2:30 so I guess I’ll have to go hide the dog food.

Oh, I still have rooms in my Jan 15-19 retreat in Rensselaerville, NY (all the details in a previous substack post). If you’ve already been to this locations with me (Hilltown Commons) keep in mind it has been improved upon (good linens, a pool table in the pub [we have our own pub] and more surprises!), and their own, excellent chef is doing our meals.

“I know, I know, but I’ve got to pee, you poor pathetic thing, you’re being tortured, I know, no one will open your food bag and I’m crippled, what a hellhole,” she just said to the cat.

If I was less hardy I’d already be in the loony bin.

xo

I’m back at my NY retreat location: Hilltown, a historic estate on 100 acres of pastoral land, bordered by the Huyck Preserve, just steps away from Myosotis Lake, over-looking the Catskill Mountains. If you’ve been before you know its charm—but guess what? Now every room really does have the good sheets and the good light bulbs & the pub/dining room has been spiffed up. We ‘ve got a pool table and foosball now.

Come get cozy and have some laughs with me while you work on your book in snowy Rensselaerville. Or just come read and take notes.

What do we do at this thing?

• Arrive Thurs Jan 15th, late afternoon (first meal is dinner), leave Mon Jan 19 (last meal is brunch)

• Start every morning with smart movement (that’s like pooping AND moving your limbs around in a yoga-like way).

• Enjoy lovely essential core work & mat pilates for all bodies (& bloody ice-walks) with my ginge-gal Megan Kane (dancer, certified PTA, and lifelong Pilates teacher) :

• Every morning, after movement, and after a brief meditation/breathwork I'll lead some easy & short writing exercises to get imagination flowing through the brain valleys.

• Eat yummy food (this is us eating in one of our salon rooms but we also have a big dining room).

Every day:

• Light breakfast, big brunch, big dinner all served at our very own restaurant/lounge/pub at Hilltown.

• Use the majority of the day to work on your project and take little breaks to walk off the confusion around the frozen lake:

• Ample self-guided work time

• Afternoon and evening salons for sharing & workshopping if you so choose. Enjoy a round of generative feedback from your fellow writers (guided by me). Learning to give concise and thoughtful feedback is a great way to exercise your editing chops for your own work.

• You might have a project you are devoted to and you just need time to work on it and want some live ears to hear it. Or maybe you are starting something and you need to figure out what it is and how to proceed. Maybe you are editing the final draft. Maybe you are organizing visual images/paintings, writing a proposal, writing a script, cataloging poetry, or maybe you just want to journal, do the prompts, move around, laugh, and eat.

*You may choose to be more solitary and work the entire time on your own. No need to be social and no need to participate in the group writing exercises.

• Evening cocktails/mocktails

• After dinner parlour games (some come just for this).

• We will be living between two turn of the century houses and some late 60’s dorm-style buildings. Plenty of inside and outside common area space in which to mingle and/or have a meltdown.

  

  

  

Some rooms are like this (all rooms are en suite):

Some rooms are in the more 70’s motel vibe houses (all beds now have crisp white sheets & european style duvet):

Prices range from: $2,000 (private large room in Victorian house) down to $1,400 (share). Average private room in 70’s motel-vibe (ensuite, full/queen bed): $1,800

• Email me with a brief description of what you plan to work on: info@maguyoga.com & specify if you want a private or shared room please xo

• Reserve a room with a non-refundable deposit (details exchanged over email).

Rensselaerville Hamlet, settled in 1787, is home to one of Albany County’s first public libraries.

Easy walk to this waterfall:

I’d love to see you at Parkside Lounge (NYC) this Sunday. I’m tickled to be reading a sturdy chunk of my book-in-progress for Ann Stephenson’s stellar series: Readings At Parkside.

The event is free—just show up, buy a drink, let us entertain you, and get a gorgeous broadside and a playbill (Nick suggested I write a playbill for this story, so I did, then I added a glossary for the sci-fi bits, and Ann—who is incredibly organized and generous—mocked it up and printed it out just for this event, which I blurred out below because, you know, you must be there in person to receive it).

Nov 16, 4pm, 317 E. Houston Street. C ya there. xo

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be rolling in and out of NYC, clowning around with the youngsters, and reading from my book-in-progress at Parkside Lounge (Nov 16th, 4pm).

But first, Wed Nov 5th at 6:30, I'll be talking to my dear friend, Frances Sultan, who wrote a gorgeous little book of poems and stories: “Illoy is 16. Illoy is 44. Illoy is a collection of interconnected short stories about the beauty and horror of motherhood—passing years, fleeting moments, and everything in between.” Hope to see you.

(wine, snacks, & a copy of the book! limited space so get your tickets HERE )

The next day, Nov 6th, I’ll be MCing (& doing a little reading) at this chic new magazine’s party. Do you know about House House? You will soon (& in their December issue they are running an excerpt from my latest thing along with work from Merve Emre, Tracy K. Smith, & Stephanie Wambugu, among other head-turners). Come check out the scene:

Finally, before I fade into the long dark night of winter in Philadelphia, you can catch me at Ann Stephenson’s truly excellent reading series where I’ll read from The Plaisante, my current book-in-progress, and we will discuss the meaning of life. Also, Ann made a broadside for this event AND I mocked up a dedicated Playbill for you…and guess what?! It’s all free. Just buy a drink at Parkside Lounge and settle in for the show. I’d love to see you:

And now for the gossip:

Mom is moving to Hudson (I haven’t seen her since 2018), Steve Martin has a really, really big dick that maybe rivals Liam Neeson’s long dong (of which everybody already knows about), Demi Moore can make tears fall from one eye (I saw it first hand when I was Gaby’s guardian on Now and Then), and when I was 16 I was flown to LA for a third callback for the movie Miami Blues and during the audition Alec Baldwin kissed me so passionately (with tongue) that my knees went weak and I forgot all my lines and was like duh, huh? and this is why the part went to Jennifer Jason Leigh.

If you like that gossip consider becoming a paid subscriber, or even a founding member to get the monthly zoom link to my Writing Group (we meet T-F every week from 11am-2pm, rolling admission, I open each session with a little reading and meditation, then we all work on our own projects, Fridays you have the option to share some pages and we check-in with each other).

xo

Aside from stellar readings and performances we will have Champagne & cigarettes for you. Just show up!

Check out our line-up:

•Tues Oct 21, 4pm (moi): I’ll be performing a passage from my book-in-progress:

•Wed 4pm, Roddy Bottum: come hear the one-and-only Roddy read (!) from his brand new (and so good) memoir The Royal We w/ a special surprise guest:

•Thurs 4pm, the hilarious Michael Portnoy w/special guest Sinziana Ravini performing: The Analyst and the Spigot!

•Fri 4pm, Whitney Mallett & friends of The Whitney Review close out our week with readings and performances from Macy Rodman, Sophie Becker, Skype Williams, & Walter K. Scott!

So join us for any or all of our 16 heures events, come have a glass of champs and a cigg, and don’t miss Marianne Vitale’s weeklong show in the The Journal Gallery’s Paris space:

…and remember, if you have fomo, don’t worry, because you can see me almost everyday in my Zoom Writing Group: tues-fri 11am-2pm (est). Subscribe HERE ! xo

xo c u soon