All these years later, I can look back and recognize that this was maybe not as cool as I thought it was and that, maybe, it was masking some insecurities I had about connecting with other girls. Surrounding myself with a social circle composed primarily of boys had the upside of building a specific kind of confidence that I think has served me as an adult, but there was a lot lost, too. Mostly, I’m ashamed of the degree to which it was giving I’m not like other girls.

At some point during this chapter of my life, I began predicting that, if I did happen to grow up to be the kind of person who had children, all of those children would be boys. I joked that I would be the queen of the castle, worshipped by my husband, a small crew of young men, and a large dog (also a boy). It only made sense, I figured, that my guy’s girl identity (ugh) would follow me into every stage and creep into every facet of my identity.

Whether manifestation is real or I just know myself super well, it seems that I had a pretty accurate read on my future.

If you follow me on Instagram and read my newsletter from a few weeks ago, you know that we welcomed a second little boy to our family earlier this month. Sam joins his older brother Will, who will be three in January, along with Stuart, our oversized puppy. There’s also their amazing dad, Matt, who is the only person I’d want to do any of this with.

Yes, my friends, it would appear that I saw what was coming for me pretty clearly.

And while I’d like to reach back into the mid-aughts and tell that self-described guy’s girl that it wouldn’t hurt for her to explore the power of female friendships, I can confidently say that being surrounded by all these dudes in this new context is pretty special.

These days, there’s a lot of conversation about what it means to be a “boy mom,” something I’ve naturally been thinking even more about than usual lately. As I continue to settle into life with my expanded brood of boys, I figured I’d take some time to reflect here.

In no particular order, my thoughts on the “boy mom” thing:

On celebrity boy moms

Once again, we decided to be surprised about the sex of our baby this time. My second pregnancy was a lot different than my first, which made me wonder if I was expecting a girl, but given the overwhelming number of boys on my husband’s side of the family, I was fully prepared for Will to have a brother. Even so, there were moments when it was hard for me to wrap my head around this reality (“But I’m a girl!”).

In an effort to give myself a more tangible image of that version of the future (now the present), I played a game with myself wherein I identified cool celebrities who are also moms exclusively to boys. Here are a few examples:

• Anne Hathaway: As I navigated this pregnancy somewhat quietly, it was fun to see our girl Anne out there making the rest of us look glamorous and hot. I guess we don’t know if her third baby will reinforce or cancel out her boy mom status, but so far, she’s been rocking it with her two sons. I particularly enjoyed an interview I saw with her over the summer during which she talked about how she loves having boys… especially since she’s developed the necessary endurance.

• Jennifer Lawrence: I don’t have strong feelings about J. Law in either direction, but again—a cool, successful woman with two sons.

• Lauren Conrad: Having grown up in the thick of Laguna Beach-mania and come of age with The Hills, this one is especially close to my heart.

• Amy Poehler: Less vocal about her kids, but she does occasionally mention Archie and Abel on her podcast and I like to think that they all make each other laugh a lot.

• Whitney Carson: I haven’t been keeping up with DWTS very much lately, but Whitney is top of mind after announcing that she’s pregnant with her third son over the summer. Prior to the big reveal, there was a lot of excitement and speculation about the possibility that she might “finally be getting her girl,” and I love how clear she was about not being disappointed. She loves raising boys!

• Alicia Keys: I actually didn’t know this about her until recently. More excellent company!

• Ashley Olsen: We know she wants to stay out of the spotlight and that she’d prefer we didn’t talk about her personal life, but we also all know that she had a baby boy in 2023. The ‘90s kids in me rejoices for both of us.

• Lisa Barlow: Love her or hate her, Baby Gorgeous has made raising Jack and Henry a huge part of her personality… and she makes it look fabulous in a very specific way. More, maybe, than anyone else on this list, Lisa has taken the idea of being the lady of the house very seriously.

On boy mom meme culture

In 2026, nothing makes you feel more like part of an in-group than seeing a meme, laughing, and thinking, Oh, that’s totally meant for me. I definitely have this experience with lots of content related to raising boys, as long as it isn’t at anyone’s expense. Depending on the day, I can also be the prime audience for sentimental boy mom memes. That algorithm just gets me.

On boy mom branding

There are days when I feel aligned with the hashtag boy mom thing. There are other days when I just want to be like, I’m a mom who happens to be raising small people who happen to be boys. I don’t know what inspires theses changes in attitude. I just know that, while it can feel cute to have a shorthand that indicates membership in this club, it sometimes gives me the ick.

You probably won’t catch me in a BOY MOM baseball cap (though I celebrate this for you if you’re into it), but I am always available for trading jokes about my deep knowledge of construction vehicles and the tolerance I’ve built up for the variety of general physical chaos that seems to come with the territory of raising these little guys. Then again, I am also available for jokes and conversations with people raising children of all genders. So. Maybe I don’t know where I land on the branding of it all.

Currently Reading: Back Where We Started by Becca Freeman

I was in a bit of a reading slump last week and this is exactly what I needed to break out of it! After years of following through social media and Bad On Paper, it’s been so fun cheering her on in her author journey. She’s been open about the challenges of getting Back Where We Started out in the world, which makes it that much more satisfying to have the book in my hands and find myself absolutely flying through it! I think said it best on a recent episode of their podcast when she described the book as “warm.” Grab a copy to get out of a slump, to ease into the holiday spirit, or simply to be transported in the most classic rom-com-y sort of way!

On the pressures of being a boy mom in 2026

Let’s take a moment to bring down the vibe—but for an important reason.

Regardless of where your child identifies on the gender spectrum, I think it’s important to take your role of raising them seriously. If you’re not doing that, what’s the point?

As we step back and observe the state of the world around us, though, I can’t help but feel as though those of us raising sons are carrying some extra responsibility. I am grateful to have access to resources that can help us be more intentional about reshaping masculinity in our home in small ways and from the very beginning, and for the fact that these are conversations that we’re openly having. Still, it’s a lot of pressure!

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child, but if Matt and I succeed in raising Will and Sam exactly the way we want, they’ll grow into men who are equal parts gentle and strong, respectful and principled, funny and curious. We want them to be considerate of others and observant about the world around them. We want them to understand—beyond the shadow of a doubt—concepts like consent and bodily autonomy, and to know when they have a role to play in asking for help.

Like so many things, the idea of masculinity is complicated and fraught right now. We’ve been handed down a particular image of What It Means To Be A Man (ugh), and I think many of us can agree that it hasn’t quite landed us in the best place. Because of that, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t feel the weight of raising little boys—but I also think it’s a privilege to be part of making a different way in hopes that it will mean better for everyone.

On clothing options

I’ll chat more about gender disappointment momentarily, but here is my (potentially shameful) truth: now that I have fully settled into the reality that I am raising two boys (unless or until I am told otherwise), the only loss I really feel is largely superficial. Whenever I see a particularly adorable outfit from the girls department or consider how fun it would be to attempt to wrangle a thick head of hair like Will’s into pigtails with sparkly bows, I can’t help but feel a little bummed. Am I proud of it? No. But it’s where I’ve landed.

Yes, this is primarily a me problem. And yet, the children’s clothing industry also bears part of the responsibility! Give me more choices! Give me things without taglines like “Mommy’s Little All-Star” or “Mr. Steal Your Girl!” Give me less Paw Patrol! Give me something—anything—that falls somewhere between sweatpants and a polo shirt!

Almost three years into my parenting journey, I’ve identified some go-to shopping favorites, but now that I’m really responsible for dressing the next generation of young men, I am begging for something new. Give us boy moms what we want!

Send me a screenshot of your pre-order receipt via email (allihoff12@gmail.com) to get a full subscription to this newsletter, including paywalled content!

On gender disappointment

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As such—and because I have pretty much always loved writing—I was raised on Andie Anderson, How-To Girl; Andy Sachs, assistant to Miranda Priestly; and Jenna Rink of Composure Magazine, among others. Like many of the women of my generation, I grew up confident that …

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On Monday, October 5, our family welcomed a new member: Sam Ellis Kosik.

No, you didn’t miss some big ~announcement~ or even a more minor mention of my pregnancy over the last nine months. While loved ones and people I see IRL knew that we were anticipating a new addition, I decided not to share it on social media or …

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Occasionally, I’d mention said book in a newsletter post, always as a footnote in the larger story about how I eventually did finish a better book, land a literary agent, and sell my debut novel to a major publisher. I honestly don’t think I ever got a question or a comment from anyone about it.

But when I went on tour for Too Blessed to Stress and started speaking to readers IRL about the many ups and downs of becoming a published author, I noticed a shift. While I continued to mention The Bad Book in a pretty offhanded way while answering questions and telling my story, people were curious about it! My self-deprecating sarcasm about the whole situation was just creating space for a bigger conversation about that so-called failure. In fact, I don’t think I spoke at a single event where there wasn’t a follow-up question about it.

Here are some of the things people wanted to know about The Bad Book…

• What was it about?

• What was the inspiration for The Bad Book?

• Do you think you’ll ever revisit it?

• How much time did you spend working on it?

• How long did it take for you to realize that it didn’t have the potential you thought it did?

• How did you know you were ready to stop working on it?

• Why was it… bad?

• Did you ever share it with anyone?

• Where is The Bad Book now?

• How has your process changed between writing The Bad Book and now? Do you worry that, even after that evolution, there are more books like this in your future?

I did my best to answer these questions in the moment, even though—after several years of mentioning The Bad Book in other places without a ton of additional discussion—they caught me pretty off-guard. Now, though, as I evaluate the current state of my author career at the crossroads of a few different projects and milestones, I thought it might be kind of interesting to paint a fuller picture of what happened.

Before I speak to that bigger picture and answer those questions more comprehensively, you should know that when I say I wrote a Bad Book, I’m mostly kidding. Mostly. I don’t like to use the word “bad” to describe books. Like all art, books are subjective, and if I don’t enjoy a reading experience, I’ll pretty much always put the blame on myself before I’ll put it on the author who wrote it. I would only ever describe my own work with this particular adjective… and I do think that’s allowed.

But I also think that claiming (correctly, I believe) that I wrote a Bad Book deserves a little context.

And I’m hopeful that sharing that context might be useful for writers out there deciding what to do with their own projects and interesting for book lovers who have wondered what it looks like for an author to be their own critic. Plus, no matter your profession or your hobbies, everyone finds themselves faced with the reality of having done something that’s maybe not that great, right? What do we do from there?

Currently Reading: Who’s That Girl? by Thea Glassman

Like many a millennial, I consider New Girl one of my comfort shows—and yes, I realize that there are plenty of ways in which it has not aged well. I saw this official history of the show mentioned in one of ’s round-ups of fun, thoughtful non-fiction and went straight to the library to see if it was available. Good news: it was! So far, it’s a light, breezy, quick read that’s giving me just enough backstory and fun facts about a show that’s very close to my heart.

Let’s talk more about The Bad Book by going through the questions I outlined above…

What was it about?

The book was a family novel centered around a matriarch named Glenda who is desperate to get her four sons to the Jersey shore for what she fears might be one last summer together before they really grow up. (For what it’s worth, they were all already technically adults in the timeline of the book, which should tell you a lot of what you need to know about Glenda’s general state of mind when we meet her.) There were chapters written from Glenda’s POV, but also from the perspective of each of the four sons, their father, and the two significant others who’d been invited on the vacation.

Obviously, under the surface of that main plot line simmered a lot of other complex, strained family dynamics: the tension Glenda and her husband have to navigate as the parents of adult children, the weirdness of growing up among a large-ish group of siblings, and the inherent conflict between preserving tradition and evolution. Plus, it was the first time I’d written in depth about the Jersey shore, a setting that has meant so much to me personally for as long as I can remember. Years later, I’ve now circled back, and the second novel I sold to my publisher takes place there!

What was the inspiration for The Bad Book?

It all started with a single short story, the first one I wrote for a workshop when I started classes for my MFA in 2020. I knew very little of what I was getting into in pursuing my MFA. I’d never been in a workshop environment and hadn’t shared fiction with anyone—let alone a virtual room of strangers and a bestselling author like our professor Liz Moore—in years. I’ve also never been a big fan of short stories as a reader or a writer, so I was kind of stumped when I learned I would be expected to submit that kind of piece for class.

Glenda’s story was inspired by things I was observing in my own life and family at the time, and when I got positive feedback from most of the workshop, my Type A brain took that to mean that I’d already landed on the project I’d be working on throughout the MFA experience. Just a few weeks in and I’d already figured it out! I had my book! Drawing from my favorite novels and my love for rotating narrators, I submitted stories from the perspective of other characters in Glenda’s world for subsequent workshops that semester, bearing in mind the possibility that each one could be a chapter in a larger work. As the new semester started, I kept writing pieces of Glenda’s book for myself.

Do you think you’ll ever revisit it?

I don’t know! Writing this post has me feeling more curious to check it out than I’ve been in years. So much has changed in my writing life since I wrote Glenda’s story that it’s hard to imagine working on it again, but I think I’d be open to revisiting it as a reader.

Something I’ve had to learn over the last few years is that everything you write doesn’t necessarily require an audience or need to be published to have meant something or been worthwhile. Since I’m naturally a perfectionist and have a real tendency to micromanage every minute of every day, this was hard for me to believe initially. I was taking all this time and energy to commit to my writing in the MFA program. Shouldn’t that mean a clear path forward for everything I wrote?

Whether it’s a whole book that goes in a drawer somewhere or full scenes and chapters that don’t ultimately make the cut in a project that is published, these writing experiments are part of the process of getting better and learning more. For that reason, I wonder if it’s actually important—in principle—for me not to revisit that first book.

How much time did you spend working on it?

The first few chapters were written as short stories for workshops throughout the first semester I was in grad school, which was the fall of 2020. After that, my goal was to finish a first draft (however rough!) at some point the following summer so I could start editing and dreaming up its future. If I’m remembering correctly, I wrapped up that very messy draft at some point in July 2021 and decided in August that I was no longer interested in focusing on it.

How long did it take for you to realize that it didn’t have the potential you thought it did?

As is still part of my process any time I’m reviewing and editing bigger chunks of writing, I printed the full manuscript when it was done. This was the first time I’d seen so many pages of my work quite literally laid out in black and white, and that was a really special moment.

Absorbing the visual of that manuscript was, however, the high point. It didn’t take long for me to decide that I didn’t have what I thought I did… and, more importantly, that I wasn’t sure if I was obsessed enough with the material to invest the time in making it the best it could possibly be. By the end of August, I knew it was time to move on. This is easy for me to timestamp because it was at the start of that fall semester that I settled on what I’d be working on for my official thesis project: the first draft of Too Blessed to Stress!

How did you know you were ready to stop working on it?

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As I’ve committed to doing at the end of every quarter of every year, I’m here to offer up a brief(ish) recap of my reading life over the last couple of months. This particular batch covers the back half of summer reading, as well as the start of the fall season, which has found me cuddled up on the couch by about 7:30 every night, trying very hard to make a dent in what I realize is a very aggressive, ambitious, and, yes, embarrassing TBR.

Here are my recaps from the first two quarters of the year:

Here are my favorites of Q3:

If you’re looking for new titles to check out this fall, winter, and beyond, I encourage you to grab any of these from your library or to follow the included links to order them on Bookshop dot org, which supports indie booksellers! By shopping these links, you’re also showing a little extra love for this newsletter… and at no extra cost to you.

1. The Road to Tender Hearts by Annie Hartnett: I wouldn’t say that I read a lot of road trip novels, and after having such a love affair with this book in July, I find myself wondering… why not? (Yes, I have since put several on hold at the library and will continue in my quest to further educate myself on novels that cover this territory.) So much of my adoration for The Road to Tender Hearts is rooted in my deep admiration for Annie Hartnett’s writing, which I will now count as one of my personal writing influences, no questions asked. (Yes, I have several of her backlist titles out from the library, as well.) This book does such a beautiful job of blending the zany with the grounded, of building out an ensemble cast of characters that earns every last one of your human emotions, and makes you want to live in every sentence. It’s absolutely delicious and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you’re missing out!

2. Mothers and Other Strangers by Corey Ann Haydu: Setting aside a single symbolic element/running motif that didn’t quite do it for me, Mothers and Other Strangers felt like a book that was written just for me. It’s told from multiple narrative perspectives, centers women with complicated dynamics, and spans multiple time periods and generations. In her adult debut, Corey Ann Haydu explores the intensity of the mother/daughter relationship in a way that I haven’t really seen before, layering it against the intensity of female friendships that are often not given the dignity they deserve as the powerful forces of love and transformation they are.

3. The Shampoo Effect by Jenny Jackson: With all of the buzz and attention this book got over the last couple of months, it almost feels silly to toss my own humble praise into the mix… but, yes, like so much of the reading world, I would agree that The Shampoo Effect was one of the books of the summer. One of the things I’m most interested in exploring in my own writing these days is the complexities of adult friendships, which are the core of this book. Multiple POVs, a fish out of water storyline, commentary on the publishing industry, and a setting that I wanted to absolutely live in… there was a lot to love. I think the reading experience was also really informed by the fact that I listened to a few interviews with the author before I got started, including this episode of Open Book With Jenna.

4. The Good Parts by Evann Normandin: I’m a little suspicious any time I see a single book getting as much attention right out of the gate as this one was getting, but the tenor of that suspicion shifts when I see that attention coming from multiple directions: from the masses, from mainstream outlets, and from the more ~literary~ corners of the world. That’s what was happening over the summer for Evann Normandin and her debut and I was intrigued! Primarily, I would describe The Good Parts as a literary romance with absolutely stunning line-level writing. If you’re unsure if it’s for you because of the speculative elements (the book is set in a world where you can take a pill that erases your memory), I promise that those elements pale in comparison to the core relationship. (I say that as someone who doesn’t always go for anything that veers too far away from the grounded real world.) My only tip would be to check for trigger warnings first!

5. The Refuge by Carly Hillman: Carly and I were introduced by a mutual friend earlier this year, and we immediately hit it off. At the time, Too Blessed to Stress had recently gone on sale and I was hopeful that my experience publicizing the book would help her as she prepared to launch her own debut novel! Plus, we’re both Philly(ish)-based writers with two-year-olds. It felt like a friend match made in heaven. At the time, The Refuge’s September pub date seemed like it was lightyears away, but it did, in fact, creep up, and I finally got my hands on a copy in advance of joining Carly in conversation to celebrate the book at my local indie! Rest assured I am not including this on my list of Q3 favorites simply because Carly and I have become good friends, but because it has earned its spot here. There’s been a lot of talk about The Refuge as a mystery or thriller, and while it does have some of those vibes, I found it to be much heavier on the family and relationship narratives than anything else.

6. Main Characters by Bobby Palmer: This is an easy one to sum up: Main Characters is a love story written from the perspective of everyone except the two people actually involved in the relationship. Cool, right? There are chapters written from the POV of their friends and family members, but also from strangers who cross paths with them on the street, servers at restaurants where they go on dates… you get the drift. The whole concept is creative, but the author also executes on it so well, and I found it super inspiring from a writing perspective, too. It got my wheels turning about all of the people whose paths we cross on a daily basis and how we may have impacted each other without even realizing it.

7. One & Only by Maurene Goo: This book has the distinction of being the novel I read this quarter that I would most like to see adapted for the screen. (I just did a quick google and it would seem there are no official plans in the works yet, but I expect that could change in the future. Fingers crossed!) I found myself really falling into this story about a fully-realized female main character who just so happens to find herself in a bit of a love triangle thanks largely to the mystical approach that her family takes in their matchmaking business. Maurene Goo’s description of all the details of LA were truly transportive and I admire the way she was able to so skillfully thread the needle on magic that surely had the potential to derail the experience of reading something set in a world that looks largely like our own. For me, it was just enough of everything: just enough romance, just enough magic, just enough family drama. Pulling all of that off in the perfect proportions is no easy feat!

8. Famous Men by Julie Buntin: I’m about 100 pages away from finishing this book as I write this recap, but I can already tell you that it belongs on this list of favorites from the last couple of months. It’s quite the tome and I would only recommend it if you’re looking for something of a project, but if that appeals, Famous Men has some real fall academia vibes. Through protagonist Wilhelmina’s journey from small town Michigan to the literary circles of New York, Julie Buntin explores the many tensions inherent to growing up in a culture so ruled by internalized misogyny. Because the author has given us so many pages here, I feel like I’m really digging into Will’s psyche and experiences, which is making for a reading experience I didn’t realize I’d been craving for a while.

As always, I’m putting the final bit of this quarter’s recap behind the paywall. There are two main reasons, and I think they’re both worth sharing!

1. If I truly felt like I needed to pan a book, I wouldn’t bother saying anything about it publicly, paywalled or not. That’s just not the kind of literary citizen I aim to be! That being said, every book can’t be a win, and I think it’s okay to engage in more critical discourse as long as it happens thoughtfully. For me, part of that thoughtfulness is in paywalling, since I don’t want to be in the business of spouting off negative opinions for everyone to see… no matter how respectful they are.

2. Lately, I’ve been sensing a shift on the Substack platform that I do think is mostly positive… which doesn’t mean I don’t have questions about it. Like many of you, I’ve been having a lot of fun engaging with Notes, which feels like it’s started to take up a space left by the very earliest version of Twitter, back when Twitter was not only not owned by Elon Musk, but also fun and community-driven and social. I’m here for all of that! I have, however, noticed that as my followers on Notes increase, there seems to be less interest in paid subscriptions. I will always, always provide a lot of content here free of charge, but as a person who makes her living by writing, I would be remiss not to share that I am continuing to experiment with different ways of making this newsletter—and Substack, more generally—my own. Writing these posts and making them valuable and interesting for you is an investment in time, and if you really enjoy reading them, I want to make sure I can offer an incentive if you’d consider offering a little extra support.

Okay! With that, let’s get into just a couple of less glowing reviews from Q3…

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“I’m adding this to my TBR.”

“My TBR this month is out of control!”

I do this myself and I know many of the other readers in my life do the same thing.

But let’s be honest: most of us have real TBR piles, too. And in reality, those piles can get a liiiiiittle unwieldy.

I…

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My last “official” writing update went live in December of last year. December! Of last year!

It’s not like we haven’t caught up.

I’ve checked in with updates about more specific aspects of my work. The release of my debut novel was particularly well-worn subject matter around here throughout the spring and into the summer. If I know myself as well as I think I do, I probably got self-conscious at some point that I was talking too much about it, which might be why it’s been almost a YEAR since the last installment in the Writing Update series. As fun as it was to take you along for several deep dives about the process of releasing Too Blessed to Stress, I love this series because it gives me the chance to share with you more broadly about what it looks and feels like as I try to grow an actual writing career. Not any one book, but a whole damn job as an author, which is what I’ve always wanted to do.

So let’s do that this time, okay? Especially because—as you can tell from the title of this post—there’s been a lot happening recently.

Throughout the summer, I’ve been kind of cryptic about a lot of aspects of my book-writing life. There were things I wasn’t ready to talk about… and that’s another reason this update feels so overdue. I believe there’s value in sharing from the midst of the messy middle sometimes, but not always. And now that I’m on the other side of that messiness, I’m excited to open up about it, particularly the whole “new agent” thing.

Let’s get something straight before I say anything else: I’m not here to spill tea, gossip, etc.

First of all, there’s not really any tea to be spilled. I feel incredibly grateful for the time I had with my first agent and we parted ways after more than three years of working together without any bad blood.

More than that, though, I want to share glimpses of this part of my experience because I didn’t know when I made the decision to take this path that it was actually kind of… normal. I’ve tried looking up stats on this and they don’t really exist, but the internet does assure me that many authors switch up their representation over the course of a long career. The more I establish relationships with other writers IRL and hear about their unique paths, the more I realize that it’s not some big, taboo thing. The process of securing a first agent is often riddled with so much pressure and rejection that it’s easy to feel like sticking with that person is always the answer. But it’s not! And if you’re a writer who’s wondered about this, I figured it might be useful for me to share. If you’re not a writer and/or you haven’t wondered about this, it’s still interesting behind-the-scenes info. At least I think so.

Currently Reading: The Refuge by Carly Hillman

Carly and I were introduced by a mutual friend a couple of months ago and have since then become good pals! She also lives in Philly, has a toddler, and writes books (obviously), so we have plenty in common. When she started planning the slate of events for her debut novel, I offered to moderate whatever she decided to do in our area—and was extra excited to learn that she was interested in coming to my local indie. I’ve had a galley of The Refuge for a couple of months but was saving it to read closer to the event so I could better prepare, and I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying the ride. It’s a bit out of my genre comfort zone, so the fact that I read about 100 pages of it in one day (amid parenting, work, life, exhaustion, etc.) should tell you everything you need to know about how fantastic it is. (Join us on 9/10 if you’re in the Philly area!)

All of this is particularly exciting because it happens to coincide with lots of progress on a new book that I’m genuinely having the very best time writing.

But we’ll get there in a second.

First, a little update on my second book…

Last October, I announced that we’d struck a deal to publish People, Please with the publisher and editor who’d bought Too Blessed to Stress. (Honestly, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I shared that news, but, here we are.) People, Please is a book that I started writing years ago, before I started my MFA program and a first draft of Too Blessed to Stress. It’s a very different book than Too Blessed; it’s a more personal story, is written from the POV of just one narrator instead of multiple, and features a touch of magical realism. So writing it was a super different experience, too! Even though its on-sale date is still months and months from now (right now, we’re scheduled to publish in mid-May), I’m already getting excited for you to have it in your hands.

By way of a check-in, here’s what’s actually happening with that book these days:

• We finalized a cover design! YAY! I absolutely love the look of the novel and I know you will, too. It’s only been a couple of days since my agent and I gave the official sign-off to my publisher’s art department, and I’ll know more soon about when I can show you. Get excited!

• I’m waiting to review copyedits of the full manuscript. I submitted a final draft of the book a couple of weeks ago, and it’s since been turned over to the copyediting team for them to work their magic. Next up, I’ll get a version of the manuscript from them, and I’ll be asked to review it and answer any outstanding questions they have. In order to keep the team on-schedule, I’ll need to do that in about two weeks. After that, they’ll typeset the copyedited book and design the interiors (chapter numbers, section breaks, etc.) and send it back for me to review one more time.

• We’re starting the process of seeking out blurbs. Together with my editor and agent, I’m building a list of authors who I’m hopeful will agree to read an early copy of People, Please and to write blurbs about their reading experience. Assuming they are positive reviews (fingers crossed!), those blurbs will be added to the cover of the book before its printed and used for other marketing purposes. The blurb process is so humbling, because you’re asking other successful, busy writers to pick up your work, spend time with it, and tell you how great it is. Ideally, blurbers are authors who write in similar genres and who attract readers similar to the readers you hope to find.

The biggest updates about my writing life these days have to do with developments that are hotter off the presses than People, Please news: my new agent and my third book. They’re kind of connected, too. Let me take you back to earlier this year…

I will reiterate the fact that this is pretty low-drama, but I’ve also made the decision to put it behind a paywall. Even though we’re not gossiping, this all feels a bit more personal, and that’s just how I feel more comfortable sharing!

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Well, technically I started writing my first book some time around 1997. And then I started writing—and, in some cases, finished—a handful of other books in the twenty-five years or so that followed. And then I wrote a book between 2020 and 2021 that I eventually decided was very bad… or at least not worth the time to revise and edit.

But I started writing what become my first published book in September of 2021.

Some of you have heard the story before, so I’ll try to keep things brief. Too Blessed to Stress began as the thesis project for my MFA program, a creative piece I would work on under the mentorship of a faculty advisor. I was lucky enough to work with the brilliant Kiley Reid, who immediately understood the weirdness of the Christian influencing world I wanted to explore because she, too, had discovered that it was bubbling under the surface of mainstream social media in a way that no one seemed to be talking about.

Between September of 2021 and April of 2022, I finished a very early first draft of Too Blessed to Stress. Kiley and I met every couple of weeks to chat about my progress and discuss the pages I would send her in chunks periodically. After I finished grad school, I spent the summer trying to figure out how to turn that rough draft into something that someone in the publishing industry might be interested in championing. That began a two-year process of continuing to evolve and revise the novel that—finally!—would hit shelves in March of 2026.

As I write this, I am in the process of putting the final touches on my second book and of drafting what I hope will become my third, so I’ve been thinking a lot about the differences between writing The First Book and writing successive ones.

I capitalize The First Book because it feels like it deserves to be a proper noun. Regardless of its “official” title, I imagine that most authors think about that debut release as The First Book, the first letter of each of the three words appearing in its most formal version in their brains. Time will tell, I guess, if I find that People, Please (my second book) and others that I publish in the future will be thought of similarly. For now, though, I can’t help but regard Too Blessed to Stress as an entity set apart from my other writing—largely because the process of creating it will always feel like something unto itself and that will never be replicated, at least not from the inside.

Currently Reading: Mothers and Other Strangers by Corey Ann Haydu

There are many things about this book that make it an absolute home run for me: multiple narrative perspectives, family and friendship drama, and a cast of women who are all forces to be reckoned with in their own right. Plus, the writing is absolutely stunning. Honestly, it’s the kind of prose I aspire to write. I’m about 100 pages from the end and if I have one complaint at this point, it’s that I’m getting a little tired of a dollhouse motif that’s running through the book. It might be a total winner for other readers, but just not for me! And, like I said, whether it’s for me or not, it’s absolutely beautifully executed.

Just so we’re on the same page about where things stand, here’s a quick progress report on my post-Too Blessed to Stress writing life:

Book 2: People, Please isn’t scheduled to publish until late spring/early summer of next year (probably May!), but the process of traditional book publishing is notoriously slow, meaning I’m working with my editor and the rest of the team right now to wrap up my part so it can go into production. My manuscript was officially “accepted” after a few rounds of revisions a few weeks ago, and now I’m preparing to review a copyedited version, followed by first pass pages (basically a peek at what the inside of the book is going to look like when it’s typeset and designed). We’re also working on the cover! I can’t wait to show you.

Book 3: I’m a little more than 30K words into this draft, which is roughly one-third the length of my other books. At this point, my focus is on maintaining the energy and positivity around this book because I am having so much fun writing it. In my dreams, I have a first draft finished by the end of the year, but if we’re being realistic, it will be in the spring.

Yes, technically, I now have some experience on my side, but in the scheme of things, there is still so much ahead of me—not only with these two projects, but with the many others I hope to jump into down the road. This really is just a snapshot moment to reflect, because it does strike me how much has changed (in a good way!) with my writing aspirations over the last couple of years. Progress and evolution deserve to be celebrated, especially when it can so often feel hard to capture.

So far, here’s what’s been different for me about writing books since writing The First Book:

(As always, I reserve the right to add to this list and change my mind!)

In some ways, it feels a little easier. A little better.

I know what’s coming—and what’s possible—with the editing process, which allows me to be a little less precious and a little more forward-looking when I’m drafting. Many authors (and other creatives, I’d imagine) will tell you that one of the keys to moving your goals out of the “aspirational” category and making them doable is setting aside the very human impulse to constantly overthink, edit, and perfect. For writers, this looks like resisting the urge to obsess over every word, delete sentences and paragraphs as you go, review progress from one day’s writing session before jumping into the next one… you get the picture. Not doing these things is really hard, especially if you’re a perfectionist. And even if you’re not usually a perfectionist, if you’re trying to make it in publishing, being precious about every word you write is tough to shake. I still struggle with this sometimes, but now that I’ve been through the full editing process once (almost twice, I guess!), I’ve experienced firsthand the magic of the long game. Now that I trust that opportunities to improve my books exist beyond that initial draft, I find myself feeling stuck a little less. Plus, I know that those future opportunities will include insight from others and a fresh perspective for me.

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While I’m starting to see my way through the “messy middle” business that I felt myself drowning in for mo…

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I’ll be honest: integrating him into our family and our routine hasn’t always been easy.

We went from a first dog who was almost eerily easy to train to a second dog (Stu) who has… not been that way. And that’s okay! He’s a puppy and he does puppy things! But there was definitely some whiplash, not to mention the added factor of a human child in the mix. We did, of course, decide to expand our family by four paws fully knowing that our lives were already chaotic with a child on the brink of official toddlerhood, but with small dogs and humans alike, you really can only expect the unexpected. Add in a move in December and—woah! It took a while for us to figure out any sort of new normal in the Stu era.

Now, I can confidently say that we have arrived there.

We’re not totally on the other side of chaos, but I really feel as though this adorable guy has started to become my friend instead of someone to train and manage. Ultimately, that’s all you ever want as a dog lover—and I’m excited to see how our relationship continues to evolve. Plus, there’s really nothing cuter than watching him interact with Will, who has grown especially obsessed with him in the last couple of weeks. Every day, he rushes home and asks Stuart how he’s doing, then asks for a hug. I could cry thinking about all of the memories they’re going to make as they keep growing up together.

Currently Reading: John of John by Douglas Stuart

First of all, allow me to say: I’m pretty excited to be reading this book. In all honesty, I don’t always find myself gravitating toward the most literary of titles, and while I don’t think the continuum between “commercial” and “literary” (both pretty flimsy descriptors, anyway, if you ask me) corresponds to some sort of hierarchy of book quality, I am always looking to improve my writing game. To me, that looks like reading the broadest spectrum of authors possible—and when authors have a proven track record of really knowing what they’re doing, all the better. Douglas Stuart certainly falls into that category, and John of John has already racked up enough awards and honors to prove itself a modern classic. I’m happy to be reading it now while there’s still so much real-time buzz, and even just a couple of chapters in, I can understand why it’s been so well-received. I was a little concerned it would feel too serious from the start, but I’m finding it extremely readable!

But let’s get down to business.

As we approach the official one-year anniversary of Stuart joining our family, we also must get to the important business of evaluating his work performance over the last quarter.

You can dive back into his previous reviews to get a sense of how things have been going so far:

Congratulations, Stu, on nearing the end of your first year with us. Let’s talk about how things have been going recently.

Once again, I’ve turned to the good people at Indeed for an appropriate template, and I’ll be evaluating Stuart based on the characteristics they’ve suggested. I’m told that I should mark him EXCELLENT, GOOD, SATISFACTORY, or UNSATISFACTORY for each.

Attendance: EXCELLENT

It’s a beautiful thing to know that you can truly count on someone to be around and available whenever they are needed, and that’s certainly the case with Stuart. While he does, occasionally, enjoy time off-site at doggie daycare, he only does so with my express permission (and sign-off and payment). I find that he begins each day with a lot of enthusiasm about what’s ahead—a refreshing trait for any employee! Stuart, your efforts at simply showing up for the team do not go unnoticed.

Dependability: GOOD

It took us some time to develop a shared definition of what “dependability” should look like in our working relationship, but I believe that we are making great strides. In Q4, Stuart seems to have fully embraced his role as part of this organization. More than that, he’s followed up with (mostly) consistent efforts to meet those needs. Still technically a puppy, yes, his big swings in behavior are beginning to level out, making it easier for the whole team to collaborate and have their needs met. He’s becoming an increasingly dependable—maybe even indispensable—part of what we do here.

Technical skills: GOOD

Look, it’s not great. In spite of our best efforts to set Stuart up with opportunities to learn and grow in various professional settings, he seems resistant to retaining most many of the skills we’d like to see him develop. But here’s the thing: he gets by. And we know we have many years of partnership ahead! We look to the future with big dreams for Stuart and the technical abilities he might cultivate with a bit more focus and effort. In the meantime, we appreciate the small steps he’s taken in the areas of obedience and listening.

Punctuality: SATISFACTORY

While we’re already discussing technical skills, I cannot emphasize enough how frustrating it is that Stuart’s ability to come when he’s called remains so very… poor. This employee would do well to remember how critical it is to show up when he’s asked—not when summoned 12 times or bribed with 14 treats. I can see you in the yard, Stuart. If you’re going to be willfully behind schedule, don’t do it on company property. It’s just disrespectful.

Integrity: EXCELLENT

In previous performance reviews, I’ve called Stuart’s integrity into question, primarily because I’ve wondered if his propensity for mischievous behavior outweighs what I fully believe to be his pure nature. I’m thrilled to report that in Q4, I am confidently rating Stuart as EXCELLENT in this category. As he continues to mature and settle down, I see nothing but kindness and sweetness in his big brown eyes. If he steals retrieves a shoe every once in a while, so be it. He has an honest face, and though I know so-called honest faces have been the downfall of many a manager, I’m choosing to trust that this particular employee really does mean to bring his best, truest self to the table.

Honesty: EXCELLENT

We’ve already established that Stuart has an honest face, but his behavior—while, at times, less than optimal—also reflects a certain honesty that I have to respect. When presented with constructive feedback about his performance or questioned regarding a misstep, he never shrugs off responsibility or feigns ignorance. Instead, he appears accountable for the consequences of his actions. He presents no false hope with promises that it won’t happen again. In the future, it would behoove him and the team if he would endeavor to limit those behaviors and the related consequences, but in lieu of that, I appreciate his upfront attitude.

Creativity: EXCELLENT

Stuart’s creativity knows no bounds! When he sets out to reach a goal—whether or not that goal has been assigned or even sanctioned by management—he does whatever is necessary to achieve it. His resourcefulness and out-of-the-box thinking are proof of his intelligence. As they continue to be channeled in more productive ways, we are confident that these traits will make him one of the best to ever do the job. For now, we are just sorry that we can’t more easily provide those channels for him, as we have no real use scent work or rescue services.

Productivity: EXCELLENT

If only everyone enjoyed being busy as much as Stuart! Truly, an office staffed with associates committed to his level of productivity would leave no to-do list unfinished! As always, I encourage Stu to celebrate his wins and then rest. There’s no sense in burning yourself out, my friend. When the workday is done, it’s absolutely okay—no, encouraged!—for you to sit down and just chill. And that’s an order!

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Before that, the little waveform graphic that popped up in various forms over the years when I wrote a text meant absolutely nothing to me. If anything, I think I kind of assumed it was a feature meant for a different generation, something akin to the voice-to-text function favored by my parents. On the rare occasion that I accidentally tapped it and sent through a tiny audio clip of fuzzy radio silence or my own awkward mumbling, I was mortified! Who would want to hear that?

I don’t remember who put me on the receiving end of a voice note, but I do know that once I was there, I became obsessed.

I also know that this particular mode of communication has totally changed the game for me in my ongoing pursuit of the brand of adult friendship that feels the best and most fulfilling.

Currently Reading: The Burning Side by Sarah Damoff

Candidly, I’ve heard a range of reviews of this one, but I was excited to give it a read so I can tune in to Bad on Paper’s latest book club episode. So far, I can report that it’s a quick, pacey read with the kind of rotating cast of narrators and interpersonal drama that I just love.

It’s been a while since I explored this territory, but I have, historically, written quite a bit about the matter of making new friends as a grown-up. It was especially fertile ground for me in the months immediately following the launch of this newsletter.

Beyond my online platforms, this is a subject that gets a lot of attention in my social circles. Yes, using the phrase “social circles” implies that I do have friends—and I do!—and among those people, we talk more about what it means to maintain and cultivate those relationships through the complicated, ever-changing phases of adulthood. Given the pace of things, it can often feel like you’re making and remaking friendships with the same people over and over again.

I certainly don’t have it all figured out. Apparently, no amount of writing essays on a topic can make you an expert—or really even get you noodling over it enough to have achieved a new level of clarity. But where the essays have failed me, the voice notes have succeeded.

If, like me, you have taken to operating a great deal of your social life out of your voice notes, you’re probably familiar with what I would call a new friendship milestone. Gone are the days when requesting to be someone’s Facebook friend was the signal that you and a new connection were solidifying your bond. Now, it feels like it’s that first tentative voice note that marks the line between one chapter of a relationship and the next.

It always follows the same script. “This is so embarrassing and maybe you’re not a voice note person, but I have totally become a voice note girlie and I’m running around a lot today but I had to tell you something/respond to your text/share this crazy story that can’t possibly be communicated via text. So yeah I hope you don’t mind and lolololol sorry to be cringey and you absolutely do not need to do a voice note back, okay?”

But are we really that embarrassed… and is it really that cringey? If it is, does it have to be?

Right here, right now, I am making an important declaration: I’m at peace with being the (possibly annoying) voice note friend.

Yes, I know that was the subject line of this newsletter, but it bears repeating. '

And here’s the important corollary to that declaration: I don’t expect anyone else to make apologies to me for being that friend, either. In fact, I welcome it.

A few months ago, I read a line in Jessica George’s Love By the Book that stopped me in my tracks for a second. I have since returned the book to the library, which means I can’t quote it directly, but it helped me crystallize why these voice notes have become such a critical element of my friendships in 2026—and why they sometimes feel like they’re even bigger than that, like a lifeline. In the book, two of the main characters strike up a new friendship that quickly crosses the line into voice note territory. The author reflects on this development with beautiful prose about how these little nuggets of audio can help us feel like we’re actually living our lives alongside each other, even in a world where circumstances so often make us feel alone. She writes about the intimacy that is so quickly established among people who communicate like this because of the degree to which it invites people into the small moments: having to pause in the recollection of a story because of a passing train, an interjection from a toddler, indecision over the all-important question of what to have for dinner. I’ve seen the memes and videos parodying this element of voice notes, but if you look at them through that lens—a lens that instead positions these messages as a form of closeness across time and distance—it’s really kind of a beautiful thing.

I love when I receive a rambling voice note from a friend who started the recording with something specific to convey but was taken off course by the weird inconveniences and surprises of everyday life. It makes me feel like I get to participate in that everyday life, like I get to be prioritized in it.

And in a world where it’s hard not to constantly question how important you are to your friends, that’s sort of a beautiful gift. I tend to be a pretty private person, so reorienting my friendships through these little dispatches has forced me to a new level of generosity with my own quiet little moments.

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As a kid, I usually got to try out a day camp here or there every summer. There were years when I had a more ~typical~ day camp experience—a few weeks of miscellaneous wholesome fun—and other years when I threw myself into my interest of the moment. One summer in middle school, I did two weeks of overnight Girl Scout camp. I chose the musical theater program and was chosen to be the lead in our production of “Bye, Bye, Birdie.” This was a big accomplishment for me, but I’ll be the first to let you know that the audition pool was extremely small and that I would never land another part again. In anything.

I wasn’t a camp kid.

At least not until I want to journalism camp.

I reference my journalism camp experience frequently as a real turning point in my life. Many of the people closest to me have (understandably) adopted it as a sort of punchline in conversations about my adolescence. Ah, yes. Journalism camp! Where the cool kids went! Because the conversation has gone in that direction and because we’re coming up on the twentieth anniversary of my journalism camp tenure (!!!!), I’ve taken to jumping in on the joke, rolling my eyes at myself when I put too much weight on what that time meant. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes you take yourself a little less seriously.

But something weird has happened to me over the last couple of weeks: I’ve met a few other journalism camp alums, including one who attended the same program I did, just a few years later. I’ve also reconnected with contacts from my own summer there. Across the board, there’s a fondness for that time that I often lose sight of when talking to the friends I made back then who are more a part of my daily life. When waxing nostalgic about the weeks we spent spreading our wings, eating dining hall food, and interviewing random people on the streets of Evanston, Illinois, one new friend said it best: “For a specific kind of kid at that specific time, it is a very important experience.”

I guess it wasn’t just me.

It feels like these conversations have given me permission to be more nostalgic about my journalism camp days—and I’m taking it. Add in the (miserable) summer weather and I’m extra inspired to share with you a little bit more about the one year that I was really a camp kind and how it really did change my life. Even if the fact that we’re calling it “journalism camp” makes it seem very, very nerdy. (Which it probably was.)

Currently Reading: Lina & June by Genevieve Wheeler

If, like me, you adored Genevieve Wheeler’s debut novel Adelaide, you’ve probably also been eagerly anticipating the release of her follow-up. Well, good news! We are just a few months out from its publication! Lina & June is on shelves this December and I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy. The book is part of what I would call a larger movement lately to change the way we write—and therefore read—about platonic friendship, giving these relationships a similar literary weight to romances. Personally, I’m not sure how I feel about this trend as a whole yet, but I know for sure that no one could write it more beautifully or heartbreakingly than the immensely talented Genevieve Wheeler.

Let’s go back to 2007…

As I’ve previously established, I was a high school newspaper nerd and a shameless overachiever. Knowing this, it should probably not come as a surprise that I was deeply obsessed with the college search and application process as early as the start of my junior year. I spent hours poring over every resource I could get my hands on that claimed to have authority regarding which schools were most impressive. Which college or university was hardest to get into without totally counting me out of the game? Also, where could I study journalism in an effort to follow in Rory Gilmore’s footsteps?

Eventually, I realized that my view on the whole search was actually pretty small—at least in terms of geography. Born and raised in Pennsylvania (with the exception of a few years in nearby New Jersey), I was mostly aware of institutions in the northeast… until I finally started doing some research on—gasp!—the internet. That’s right, kids. Even in 2007, we were still new to seeking everything out online. With a little help from Google, it wasn’t long before I’d learned about a little place called Northwestern University—more specifically, the Medill School of Journalism. I also learned that Northwestern was kind of famous for hosting a program affectionately known as “Cherubs,” a five-week summer intensive in a couple of disciplines that sounded like an absolute dream. The (extremely basic) website about Journalism Cherubs, in particular, featured photos of kids my age working head-down in a computer lab, touring the Chicago Tribune offices, and experimenting at an on-campus broadcast set—but also hanging out around Lake Michigan, riding the El, and drinking something new-to-me called bubble tea. The website went on to list the many ways in which participation had been known to help earnest high schoolers secure admission at high-level universities all over the country.

I was a woman obsessed. I wanted nothing more than to be a Journalism Cherub.

Thankfully, my parents were on board, and we decided that I should apply. It was the highest-stakes stack of paperwork (yes, paperwork) that I’d completed in my sixteen and a half years, requiring essays and letters of recommendation as a preview of the college admissions process that was still a year away. But I did it! And I still remember how it felt to open the mailbox one spring day to find a big ‘ol envelope with the Northwestern University branding printed in the corner. I sprinted up the driveway, knowing that the big envelope was a good sign. (Here, I must once again acknowledge Rory Gilmore.)

And that’s how I ended up in Evanston, Illinois in June of 2007, ready for what I was convinced would be the most important experience of my existence.

I know it sounds dramatic, but in a lot of ways, I wasn’t wrong.

The day-to-day wasn’t particularly groundbreaking. Once I’d adjusted to being away from home—and far away from home—life assumed a pretty predictable rhythm. I slept on a bottom bunk under the careful watch of about 60 photos I’d printed out at the CVS back home, featuring the faces of my dogs and my parents and my best friends dressed up for prom. I got over my self-consciousness about a communal bathroom and identified the best options in the buffet line at the dining hall. I went to classes with brilliant journalists and worked on assignments and got to know new friends sprawled out on the lawn in front of our dorm. We attended group activities and field trips in the evenings and on the weekends, the kind of “forced fun” that a wide-eyed and sheltered girl like me was too naive to realize was specifically intended to keep us out of trouble. (Apparently, some people were less enthused than I about going to the Shedd Aquarium.)

I couldn’t have seen the real life-changing experiences coming, mostly because, I think, my life actually had to be changed before I could appreciate them.

I came back from my handful of weeks in Evanston knowing that something important had happened to me while I was there, but it was much more along the lines of, “Sigh. I just had this incredible experience and no one understands me.” Nearly two decades later, though, I have a richer perspective—and it’s one I hope I can share with you in a way that reminds you of some of the especially formative moments of your younger years, as well.

Let’s talk about what really changed for me that summer before I turned 17.

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It’s been a very, very long time since a single book seemed to show up quite this much in the ~discourse.~ Personally, I would compare the scale of the conversation to what happened with something like Gone Girl or Fifty Shades of Gray. When those books were new on the scene, it was impossible to escape discussions about them. Your aunt was whispering about the latter at the family reunion, your well-read literary snob pal was raising their gratuitous takes about the former’s literary merit on Twitter, etc., etc. In the end, both were made into movies that made tons of money, and both titles have become a kind of shorthand for what they represented and showcased. Plus, they were published prior to the true boom of social media. Imagine what their impact on the zeitgeist would have looked like with the buzz generated from Substack, Instagram, and BookTok. (Seriously, BookTok would have a field day with 50 Shades.)

Now, though, we do have all of those things, and the Yesteryear chatter has spread like wildfire through all of them—and beyond.

Here’s a smattering of the recent coverage to give you a sense of what I’m talking about…

• “Why Yesteryear is Everywhere” (The New Yorker, 5/29/2026)

• “Why Are We All Talking About Yesteryear?” (Dear Head of Mine, 5/26/2026)

• “Book Club: Let’s Talk About Yesteryear” (New York Times, 6/26/2026)

• “Caro Claire Burke discusses her debut novel Yesteryear” (NPR, 4/12/2026)

• “Is Yesteryear worth it?” (Crib Notes, 5/3/2026)

• “Ballerina Farm Influencer Breaks Her Silence as Readers Debate Her Being the Inspiration for 2026’s Hottest Book” (Parade, 6/18/2026)

Beyond that, there are, of course, the usual slew of standard reviews and write-ups.

All of that aside, a few things speak for themselves. Yesteryear is now a #1 New York Times bestseller. It was selected as a Book of the Month pick in June. In April, it was selected for the GMA Book Club. The big Anne Hathaway movie news that everyone’s been talking about involved a competitive auction with a price tag somewhere in the range of $450,000 to $2 million. And according to a quick search, Yesteryear has already sold more than 2.5 million copies.

These are not normal stats or numbers.

As far as I can tell, there are two major pockets of conversation happening about the book right now. I’ll do my best to sum them up below:

• Readers and people more generally interested in pop culture can’t ignore the ubiquity of this book. As we’ve now made clear, it’s everywhere. This, naturally, leads to a discussion about why the book is so popular, what it’s about, whether it’s worth the hype, whether it’s worth recommending, etc. Lots of non-celebrity book clubs (including my own) have chosen it for their meetings this summer. Anyone with even a passing interest in influencer culture—and especially in trad wives—is also eating up the buzz. Is the book based on truth? Are the influencers mad? Let the drama begin.

• The publishing community is also—and has been—freaking out. I can’t think of a better way to phrase it. Personally, I caught wind of Yesteryear for the first time back in 2024, when gossip started swirling about the massive deal the author struck with her publisher. At this point, the advance she earned is the worst kept secret in publishing, and if you feel so inspired, you’re welcome to check it out for yourself. Since then, my writer friends and I have kept the book on our collective radar, tracking its many wins, trying to figure out what share of the coverage is fact versus clickbait, breaking down Yesteryear’s publishing cycle as a case study on the state of the publishing industry right now, and attempting to put our finger on the mystery that is Caro Claire Burke. Also, let’s be honest—most of us are a little jealous. This is an author whose debut novel is going absolutely bananas, and we’re all trying to figure out how it happened and what we can learn from it. Sadly (in my opinion), some chatter has also emerged from the writing community accusing Yesteryear of being a “bad book.” No book is for everyone, but I think this is a pretty cheap way to express your frustration. The novel was, after all, published by an extremely well-respected publisher and editor. If we’re mad about the larger impact on the zeitgeist and struggling to reconcile that with our interest in supporting a new author, let’s find other ways to express it, shall we?

Clearly, I have a lot to say about all of this, but here’s the funny thing: I didn’t finish the book until last night.

I wrapped up my experience with Yesteryear just in time to discuss it with my virtual book club, which gave me even more to chew on as I process.

And while it’s hard for me to believe that there are that many people looking for yet another take on the novel at this point, I like to think I come at it from a unique perspective. Last week, when I shared to my Instagram stories that I was finally starting Yesteryear, I got messages from many people who were curious to hear what I thought when I reached the end.

So here I am with my take. If you’re new to all this ~industry drama,~ I hope you think it’s juicy and interesting. If it feels like old hat for you by this point, I hope you walk away feeling like I added at least something new to the discourse.

Here’s why I do believe I bring something a little different to the table here:

Aside from falling into all of the categories I broke down above—avid reader, pop culture follower, fan of alllllll of the deep dives into influencer culture, writer, and publishing person—there is some very light parallelism happening with my experience. To be clear: I would never, ever claim to be on the same ride as Caro Claire Burke, but the experiences we’re having do share some similarities. Prior to selling our debut novels, we both had developed platforms with podcasts broadly in the pop culture space. We sold our books around the same time, and they went on to hit shelves within a couple of weeks of each other this spring. Tonally, the novels are very different, but both Yesteryear and Too Blessed to Stress are interested in social commentary and in unpacking our lives online from different angles. I like to think that Caro and I would have a lot to chat about if we ever landed in the same room.

What, then, is my take on the book?

Big picture: I actually really enjoyed the read.

Candidly, I sort of had to hype myself up to finally start it—and given what I’ve shared so far, maybe you’ll understand why. Because of this, I was prepared to walk away from my time in Yesteryear feeling annoyed, pissed off, etc.

Really, I didn’t feel any of those things. I just respected it as a smart work of fiction.

If I step back, though, it’s more complicated than that. And it’s not necessarily the easiest thing to talk about.

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Since I’m still reentering a more regular posting cadence here, let me share a few quick updates before we get into the reading recap:

• Matt and I just got back from a six-day trip to Anguilla, which was planned largely in celebration of a milestone wedding anniversary (ten! years!). We did almost nothing but take in the scenery and read and I hit peak vacation state of reading a book a day. As grateful as I was for a break in the chaotic day-to-day routine, I also missed Will (and Stu), and getting everyone back together has been super fun. Big thanks to my parents for taking such good care of our guy!

• Now that we’re home, we’re in the middle of some big transitions, especially a new school/camp for Will. Since our move in December, I was driving him about 35 minutes each way so he could stay in the program we knew and loved. I’m glad we decided to finish out the school year with his class, but that kind of commute obviously isn’t sustainable. He’s started at a program that’s a little closer this week, which is exciting, but also scary for him and emotional for us. Logistically, things are also a bit different, which has made returning to “normal” after vacation feel extra strange. I know things will flow more smoothly soon, but right now, nothing feels normal.

• Another major update post-vacation: we have a nest of fresh baby bunnies living in the backyard. Like, I think they were born hours before we found them. Predictably, I am now extremely concerned about them, making several wellness checks a day to make sure they are doing okay. Rest assured I have done all the research and am not doing anything to interfere with what’s best for them bonding with their mom, but it’s stressful to have them on my watch! Plus, Stu is basically on house arrest until they move on, which means lots of pent-up energy for him and some extra inconvenience for me.

• I am in the final stretch of a new round of edits for Book 2! At this point in the process, it’s hard to see a project clearly, but I’m hopeful that we’re almost getting the manuscript to a place where I can feel excited about and confident in it. Once I’ve turned the edits in to my editor, I’ll get back into drafting my next project, which I was feeling lots of fun energy about before I had to refocus my attention. There have been some other big developments in my writing life lately that I’m not quite ready to talk about yet, but I think there will be more to come soon.

Get the details on the early part of the year with my Q1 recap:

Okay. Let’s talk about my Q2 reading.

I’ve been reading a lot lately, but not a lot that I’ve loved.

Looking back at my little reading log for April, May, and June, though, I realized that there have been some major high points throughout this quarter—and my vacation book binge put some other new favorites on my radar.

Here are my favorite reads of this quarter…

1. So Old, So Young by Grant Ginder: This book was racking up lots of buzz in the run-up to its publication, and in my humble opinion, it was totally deserved. I’m a sucker for anything with an ensemble cast and a big, sweeping scope, and So Old, So Young incorporates both of those things beautifully. Grant Ginder takes a fresh approach to the “friend novel” by using a handful of central parties and gatherings to tell the story of a tight-knight social group that first came together in college at NYU. The book opens with a college party introducing readers to the cast. From there, it revisits the key players every few years as they reunite around a big event. The author cheats the structure a little bit with lots of flashbacks, but it still works, and his writing and character work is so fantastic that it’s easy to forgive. So Old, So Young will get you thinking about your own long-term friendships, the major moments that have brought you together, and the way those moments have shifted the trajectory of your lives and relationships.

2. Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors: I read and adored Blue Sisters last year and was so excited to learn that it wasn’t the author’s first or only book. It’s always a fun surprise to learn that a new fave writer has other work already out in the world, don’t you think? Cleopatra and Frankenstein was Coco Mellors’s 2022 debut and it tracks the arguably toxic love story between the title characters in absolutely stunning prose. Frank and Cleo grapple with an age gap, visa issues, and fundamental differences in class and values—but they can’t seem to quit their obsession with each other. Coco Mellors could turn even the most basic of narratives into a painfully gorgeous work of art, but the complicated romance between these two characters is the perfect stage for her to show readers how extraordinary she is.

3. Good People by Patmeena Sabit: I chose this as my Book of the Month a couple of months ago and was excited to discover that it was selected as the April pick for Bad on Paper podcast’s book club. Here, author Patmeena Sabit really plays with form, unfolding a major family saga through accounts written by dozens of bystanders and witnesses. Candidly, it took me about 50 pages to get into the rhythm of Good People, simply because the structure was such a departure from other things I’ve read. By the end, though, I felt deeply invested in the family at the heart of the book and their central conflict, which is really one of cultural pride versus assimilation. It also gave me a chance to learn a lot about the Afghan American experience, particularly for refugees. (And so nice to have the Bad on Paper book club episode to listen to when I was finished!)

4. Famesick by Lena Dunham: Even before her new memoir became an instant #1 bestseller, Lena Dunham didn’t exactly need my endorsement to secure readership or success here, and if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that this means my shoutout is even more heartfelt. I loved every moment of the Famesick reading experience and echo Becca Freeman’s take, which was (roughly) that Lena Dunham “wrote the shit out of this book.” Prior to reading and hearing reviews in this vein, I figured this was just another celebrity cash grab, and I’m so glad I gave it a try. If you doubt the praise and acclaim, I encourage you to reconsider, even if you wouldn’t call yourself a Dunham fan. (I also really enjoyed her publicity tour, especially her appearance on the Good Hang podcast with Amy Poehler).

(I’m also sharing a recent DNF—and my complicated feelings about it—beyond the paywall!)

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I have a confession to make:

I’ve been feeling a little uninspired in this space.

Maybe you’ve noticed. How could I blame you? I’ve had less to say here and—in an effort to spare your precious inbox space—have opted out of throwing newsletter spaghetti at the wall in the form of installments I d…

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At times, this has served me well. More often than not, if I can’t figure something out right away, I’ll force the issue until I get it. If there’s something I want, I won’t break focus until it’s mine. It’s not always pretty in the moment, but it pays off.

This quality isn’t always the best, though.

I don’t, for example, always know how to step back from a relationship when the other person or the circumstances between us have made it abundantly clear that it’s time to call it quits or shift gears. I can be relentless trying to “fix” it—and since no one asked for it to be fixed, those efforts can backfire. Plus, it’s exhausting. As I get older, I realize more and more that the things I want aren’t always right for me. I’m still learning how to come to terms with that.

Two and a half months into the life of my debut novel, I haven’t quite decided if my inability to let go is proving an advantage or a disadvantage for me as an author.

There are days when I feel like my personality—and this part of my personality, specifically—is really well-suited to this strange career path I’ve dreamed of for so long. There are other days when I’m fairly confident that a more relaxed person would be thriving way more than I am. And then there are the moments when I suspect that almost no one is wired to weather this without feeling like they need to scream into their pillow at least once a day. My conversations with other authors would suggest that this is a distinct possibility.

Currently Reading: Into the Blue by Emma Brodie

I’m nearly finished with Into the Blue, and as I near the ending, I have a lot of feelings. I’m so impressed with the sweeping narrative that Emma Brodie has created here—and it’s been very cool to watch the book take hold among so many people out in the world, readers and non-readers alike. On the other hand, I’ve struggled throughout most of the novel to feel personally invested in the core love story, and the plot has lagged at points.

But since I did the thing (yay!) and Too Blessed to Stress is just going to be hanging out there in the world indefinitely (we hope!), I would love to make more peace with this temptation I have to hang on so tightly to results… and maybe to control.

With that, I thought it might be kind of interesting to reflect on the ways in which my inability to let things go might be both a gift and an issue as I forge ahead, not only with my debut novel, but also with the other books I plan to write in the future. (ICYMI, my second book is due out in the first half of 2027!)

In an ideal world, I guess I can learn to work with this attribute instead of fighting it, even when it’s challenging. But let’s be real: that’s a tall order. More likely, it would be cool if I could learn how to operate better in other parts of my life because I accepted that it can be a good thing in writing and publishing, which mean so much to me.

So here’s where I think it might be a good thing…

• I’m not wiling to accept that I’ve done all I can do to share the book simply because a certain amount of time has passed since it went-on sale. In this still relatively new age of what it looks like to be an author, an interesting phenomenon has taken hold: there’s so much emphasis on pre-orders that the day a book actually goes on-sale feels a little bit like the end of a journey. For weeks months, you’ve been begging asking everyone you know online and IRL to pre-order your book, maybe even coming up with creative ways to entice them to offer this kind of support. It’s out in the world, your publishing team congratulates you, and it’s easy to feel like your job is already done. But if you think about it, this is a pretty illogical development. Sure, pre-orders might make an impact among an author’s inner circle and readers who are especially engaged in bookish social media, but the vast majority of potential readers are still waiting! I, for one, have continued to seek them out… and I don’t have any plans to stop. Too Blessed to Stress is less present on my Instagram feed now than it was earlier in the year, but I tried to be proactive about setting up a long-term plan for events and continued promotion. Maybe it’s delusion, but I believe that if I keep pushing, there’s no reason my debut can’t keep racking up interest, at least for the foreseeable future.

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I’m grateful for the opportunity I had to show some extra love and appreciation for a couple of the moms in my life—and certainly grateful that my own little family lavished me with exactly what I wanted yesterday, which was mostly peace and quiet. I also know that occasions like this are heavy and complicated for many people, and if you are someone who falls into that category, I hope you were able to navigate the weekend with minimal heartache. I have some good news for you: rather than extolling the virtues of motherhood here today, I’ll be reviewing my Golden Retriever puppy’s performance in his third quarter of employment in our home.

Stuart certainly believes the fact that he’s officially been with us for nine months is worthy of bigger celebrations than Mother’s Day, anyway, so there’s that. The irony of offering his review when we spent most of the weekend joking that he (and Will, really) thought of Mother’s Day as more of an Employee Appreciation Day also does not escape me.

The fact remains that Stuart is due for that Q3 review, so we will forge ahead.

Currently Reading: Strangers by Belle Burden

In terms of the ever-elusive “buzz,” Strangers has already proven itself to be one of the biggest books of the year so far, both within and outside of the reading-obsessed communities I’m part of. Because of that, you hardly need me to pitch it to you. What I can bring to the conversation, however, is the real-time update that I breezed through about half of the book in a single day over the weekend—an occurrence that has become increasingly rare in recent years. Burden’s story—and the way she writes it—is compulsively readable, and I suspect it’s going to launch me out of the rut I’ve been in lately. There’s a larger discussion to be had here about the author’s immense privilege and her lack of awareness of it, but I will wait to jump in there until I’ve finished reading.

Okay, Stu. Let’s talk about how things have been going this quarter.

Once again, I’ve turned to the good people at Indeed for an appropriate template, and I’ll be evaluating Stuart based on the characteristics they’ve suggested. I’m told that I should mark him EXCELLENT, GOOD, SATISFACTORY, or UNSATISFACTORY for each.

Here we go again.

Attendance: GOOD

In previous reviews, I’ve commented on Stuart’s consistent—nay, constant—presence on the job. While I’ve appreciated his commitment level, I’m pleased to report that we have a major development on this front, which is a recent uptick in his attendance at off-sites AKA doggie daycare/camp. Yes, his vibes are missed at the office, but encouraging him to embrace these opportunities has significantly improved his performance in other areas when he is with us. You may notice that his rating has dropped from “excellent” to “good” here, but this is a mere technicality. I cannot emphasize enough what a positive transition this has been! (Please see above photo of Stuart playing with his friends at a recent “bubble day.” The bubbles are beef flavored. So I’m told.)

Dependability: GOOD

We are still in the teenage phase, making mood swings and unpredictable behavior somewhat the norm, but in the last couple of weeks, we’ve observed Stuart’s performance beginning to level out. To further improve this rating, I would encourage him to work on his behavior when visitors come to the office, as new faces are not an excuse to forget all of the progress he’s made.

Technical skills: SATISFACTORY

Since his previous evaluation, Stuart has completed a cycle of at-home training to supplement the basic puppy classes from Q4 of 2025. We are generally pleased with the results of these sessions and would gladly recommend their facilitators to anyone interested in offering similar enrichment to their teams. Stuart is a fast learner and clearly grasped all of the technical material explained in training. His next step is to apply those skills in practical moments. The “leave it” command, for example, is meant for real world scenarios in which you have stolen, say, a shoe—not only for “brain games” set up during class.

Punctuality: SATISFACTORY

Here, again, I refer to the practical applications of the plethora of skills Stuart recently acquired in training. I’ll paraphrase what I said in his Q2 review here: when management says things like “come!” or “drop it,” it is less a suggestion and more of an invitation or, if you want to be harsh about it, a command. Greater promptness across the board would be a welcome change.

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Sports, I’m told, teach you all kinds of lessons about teamwork, perseverance, stepping up to the plate (literally and proverbially), and losing with grace. For all of these reasons, I’m totally on board with what is looking more and more like the eventual inevitability of becoming a mom who spends a lot of time watching soccer and basketball games. It’s already quite clear that my two-year-old not only loves sports, but has also inherited some natural coordination and athleticism from his dad.

Not all of us, however, receive those genetic gifts. Some of us have to wait until our twenties to find ways to move our bodies in ways that make us feel confident and (mostly) healthy. Some of us have to find other places for character building because we don’t get to do it looking cool and winning championships.

For some of us—and, yes, for me—that happens in the high school newspaper office

Every time I sit down to mine my personal memories in search of the very best stuff for future writing projects, it’s the hours I spent there that surface the fastest. For years, I’ve craved the “right” place to reflect on them—and since I can’t seem to work a high-drama crew of teenage journalists into any of my “official” WIPs, I figured that an essay here is as good a place as any to do it.

When I started high school, I knew that I wanted to be part of the paper.

By then, I already knew that I loved to write and had been given reason to believe that I was pretty good at it. Somewhere along the way (perhaps it was the Rory Gilmore effect?), I got it in my head that girls who were talented writers became women who were reporters. When I dipped into my school’s course list at the end of eighth grade and found that there was an actual journalism class available in addition to a paper that looked pretty awesome, it seemed like divine intervention that I’d landed at this particular institution.

Naturally, I signed up.

I entered my first day of journalism class with the fresh, eager eyes that only a tween on the verge of what she’s absolutely sure must be the rest of her life can bring to a situation. The classroom was located in the front half of the space that served as the office for The Stinger, the aforementioned pretty awesome paper. At times, an accordion-style temporary wall would make an appearance during class: a signal, I figured, that older newspaper staff members were doing fun and interesting things that we mere journalism students couldn’t appreciate it. They needed privacy. And quiet to work.

Joining the ranks of those staff members was not a given. In order to land regular pieces, freshmen first had to submit a trial story from class, followed by a practice assignment from one of the editors. At the time, it all felt very high-stakes. I couldn’t tell you what my practice stories were about, but I can tell you that I awaited the verdict about them with the intensity of an athlete anxiously anticipating news about whether or not they made the team.

I made the team. I was allowed to be on staff. And from there, that mysterious newspaper office—the one often shrouded by a crappy temporary wall that probably wasn’t up to fire codes—became one of the most important places in my life.

Currently Reading: What a Time to Be Alive by Jade Chang

This author’s debut novel—The Wangs vs. The World—was a total home run (more sports metaphors!) for me when I read it nearly a decade ago. I read it on a family vacation, if not in a single sitting than in approximately one and a half. I was excited to find that her latest book explores some similar territory to Too Blessed to Stress (social media, public perception, the weird nature of online fame, etc.), but if I’m honest, What a Time to Be Alive has been a bit of a slower burn. It took me a while to really get into it and I did consider DNF-ing it, or at least taking a break. Now that I’m nearing the halfway point, I’m really enjoying it, but if you need to be gripped right away, this might not be for you.

Allow me to offer a brief description of this gorgeous setting…

Realistically, it was just a classroom, so I’ll spare you all of the tiny details. Here are a few things that set The Stinger Room (as we affectionately called it) apart:

• A row of fancy iMacs. The rest of our high school ran on PCs, but Stinger kids got to play with Macs! This was the era of the iPod and the brand new iPhone, so we were intrigued. The staffers who were more involved with the design aspects of the paper had a legit reason to use them (very early stage InDesign), but the rest of us spent a lot of time messing around on Photo Booth. Also, they looked really cool, especially for non-Stinger kids who came to visit.

• The mailboxes. We had a cabinet of cubbies that had likely, at some point, been installed for actual newspaper business. Reporters and editors would add their names to a mailbox, but more often than not, the items they’d find there were less official and more ridiculous. Many notes and snacks were passed through those cubbies, and they were the site of many a prank. I, for the record, always tried to use mine for its intended purpose.

• The “morgue.” In legit newspaper and magazine offices, this is the nickname for an archive of past clippings and editions. We had one, too! Ours, however, was very poorly maintained, more or less an L-shaped configuration of shitty utility shelves on which students past and present shoved old issues of the paper. The little den created in the middle of the shelving units was a hiding spot for both garbage and humans, a place where people would stash their stuff if they didn’t feel like going to their lockers or hunker down to cram for a test or cut class. I, for the record (again), did not use it for any of those purposes.

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Despite its unremarkable—and arguably disgusting—conditions, The Stinger Room felt sacred to me almost immediately. When I was appointed features editor as a sophomore, I started taking all of my study halls there, as well as most lunch periods. In hindsight, I regret the latter, mostly because I think I robbed myself of a lot of fun memories—and because, if I’m being honest, I mostly did it because I didn’t want to deal with the daily social politics of the cafeteria. Still, working obsessively on the school newspaper was the first time I was making a choice to commit to something. I’d always pushed myself hard to get good grades, but that felt like a requirement. Joining The Stinger was technically optional, but I became increasingly invested in it, setting my eyes on a new position on the editorial team every year. As a senior, I achieved what I thought would be the peak of my life: the editor-in-chief spot.

Now that you’ve had a taste of the reverence with which I approached all of this, I guess it should hardly come as a surprise that, in many ways, I became the person I am now in that glorified classroom. In the moment, I was aware that it was happening, at least to some degree. Looking back, that’s kind of a gift. How often can you fully embrace something like that in real time? I hope I appreciated it.

While all of this was transformative for my younger self, I can’t say that it was all positive, or that I reflect now and feel good about all of it.

Some of the lessons drew out parts of me that weren’t the best, and while the anecdotes that go along with them are funny a couple of decades later, I’m still unpacking what they mean. Let’s get into a few of them.

• Finding something called a “hate list” with my name on it made me unduly concerned with what boys in “power” thought of me. When I was a sophomore, the editor-in-chief position was occupied by a boy who just… didn’t seem to like me. If I had to guess the reason, I would probably blame the general ethos of the 2000s, which seemed to position girls who tried really hard at anything as patently uncool and annoying. I didn’t know what it meant to be an editor, but I wanted to be good at the job and I wanted to be taken seriously. I guess that rubbed him the wrong way. At some point early in the school year, I stumbled upon a handwritten list made by him that was titled simply, HATE LIST. And guess who was on it? This girl! I could certainly go off on a tangent about how writing a “hate list” actually falls pretty neatly into exactly the “girly” stereotypes that seemed to trigger him (and doing so would probably be fun), but I’ll let you go down that rabbit hole yourself. Instead, I’ll just say that this was probably the first time that I was knowingly aware of what an “important” “man” thought of me and how it might impact something that mattered—in this case, my role with the paper. I hate to say it, but it made me work harder to earn his approval… at least for a little while.

• Sparring with our advisors showed me that adults aren’t always right. In my tenure with The Stinger, we cycled through a handful of teacher advisors, none of whom were particularly enthusiastic, knowledgable, or even qualified for the job. When we were juniors and seniors, my friends and I (yes, most of my best friends were also newspaper editors) felt strongly that our advisor was standing in the way of what we wanted to do, that she might have even be rooting against us. Now, as a grown-up myself, I can recognize that we did, at times, probably step out of line in the way we handled that contentious relationship, but I also see that this was an important experience for me. Ever the people pleasing kid, I’d assumed to that point that teachers—and all adults, really—were always right about everything. The ongoing situation with our advisors forced me to confront the reality that no one really knows what they’re doing all the time. Now, I see that through a different, more compassionate lens.

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Instead, I’ll let you know that, on the other side of a uniquely overwhelming time, I’m naturally feeling the pull to refresh a couple of things. I didn’t set out to do some Big Life Reboot (which is something I would do); it just seems like the perfect moment for it. And while you’re about to see a list of alllllll the specific reframes that have been on my mind, this is actually the first time I’m sitting down to break it down like this. I don’t expect to get it all done, but reflecting on all the exciting possibilities is a much-needed breath of new energy.

Currently Reading: This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum

Truthfully, I haven’t found this one quite as propulsive as most seem to, but that might just be a me problem. I came back from all of our travels with excruciating shoulder pain that flares at night, which has made getting comfortable reading—and sleeping—nearly impossible (fun!). The good news is that we seem to have gotten to the bottom of what’s happening and we’re hoping to have a solution, but in the meantime, it’s been hard for me to develop any real momentum with This Story Might Save Your Life. What I can say without a doubt is that I think it’s super cool how the author has managed to write a book with two narrators and two timelines, but only one narrator per timeline. (Did I explain that well?) It has my wheels turning about structure!

Here are the 12 specific reboots I’m thinking about right now…

• I’m refocusing on our new(ish) house and all the big plans we have for it. We moved into our house in mid-December, after which we promptly launched into holiday season chaos and then into one of the most miserable winters I can remember in a long time. While the nasty weather definitely made us feel more like we’re ~one with the house~ because we were spending so much time inside, it didn’t exactly inspire us to take on new projects. Almost all of the projects we had on our wish list at the beginning have been completely ignored. We aren’t necessarily believers in the idea of a “forever home,” but we do imagine ourselves staying here for quite a long time, so I’m not in a rush to get everything done. At the same time, I feel lucky that we get to call this place ours, and I don’t want to get complacent with it! In that spirit, I recently sat down and brain dumped alllllllll of the things I dream of doing. We can’t do it all right now, but I’m hopeful it will put these projects top of mind again and help me reprioritize and refocus.

• I’m reconnecting with friends after being on the road so much in March and April. Traveling for Too Blessed to Stress in the first two months after it was published gave me the chance to reconnect with friends and loved ones in cities outside of Philly, but it also created a bit of distance with my local pals. It’s easy for me to get overwhelmed with lots of social plans, but I’m glad I’ve had meet-ups with some of these friends on the calendar over the last two weeks since I got back. It’s been a good reminder to initiate those visits more often in the future.

• I’m making it a priority to spend more time outside. Every spring, I commit to this—and I imagine I’m not the only one. Between the aforementioned miserable winter we just had and the new outdoor space we’re exploring, I’m more antsy than ever to get as much fresh air as possible. Plus, now that I have a busy toddler, there are so many more things we can do outside… and everyone seems happier when we do them.

• I’m getting more creative with my monthly goals—and dreaming a little bigger, too. One of these days, I’ll finally write an in-depth post about how I approach monthly planning. It’s a process I’ve mostly stuck to for the last five years or so, and I credit it with much of the progress I’ve been able to make personally and professionally, especially as someone who works without the supervision and management of a traditional boss. Since the end of last year, a lot of my monthly goals have had to do with Too Blessed to Stress, and I also pulled back on getting too ambitious in other areas because launching my debut had to be the focus. With that behind me, I’m once again thinking about other priorities, even the ones that feel a little scary.

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