Patti expected the answer to mirror her own life. Maybe a mom. Maybe a nurse, since that’s what Patti was. Instead, her daughter said, “I want to write stories.”

Patti answered, “Well, I want to be a writer too.” Her daughter looked at her, puzzled. “But Mom, you’re already grown up!” Patti felt the sting. But she also heard the question underneath it: If not now, when?

That innocent remark carried an assumption that many of us absorb without noticing: that grown-ups are done “becoming.’ Patti was not. She enrolled in writing classes and began working on her first novel. Today, a few decades later, she’s the author of 19 novels, including the bestseller The Secret Book of Flora Lea, with a new novel, Heart of the Wild, coming in the spring. (She’s got a great Substack, too)

I asked Patti what changed for her in that moment. Where did the courage come from?” I gave myself permission,” she told me.

I love how simple that sounds, and how hard it actually is. Patti also did something smart. She kept her dream to herself at first, while she figured out how to move forward. Sometimes a new idea needs a little quiet before it can stand up to the opinions of others.

Along the way, she picked up Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and she still starts her day with “morning pages,” a few pages of stream of consciousness writing, whatever comes. As the words tumble out, almost like a morning meditation, they show her what matters to her. It’s a daily check-in with herself.

Patti says writing fiction is a kind of therapy, too. Through her characters, she processes so much of her own life. And when she gets stuck? She leans back into curiosity.

I asked Patti what advice she would give her 35-year-old self?

First, she said, take off that blazer with the thick shoulder pads that made us look like football players. We both laughed, and yes, fashions come and go.

Her second piece of advice: Let go of the people-pleaser instinct. And, wow, I second that.

I hear this over and over in my conversations. So many of us tilt our decisions toward pleasing the people around us, our families, our bosses, and the unwritten societal script that shapes our expectations in ways we don’t even notice. Midlife is often when we start to see that script clearly, and realize we’re allowed to edit it or rip it up.

Patti’s story is a reminder that the moment to begin isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it arrives in the voice of a child (or friend or partner), asking a question we can’t stop hearing.

Do you have a dream you’ve been waiting for permission to pursue? Maybe you’re having an “if not now, when” moment too.

Speaking of dreams, episode 2 of my new podcast is full of advice on how to decode your dreams and how to try the ancient practice of dream incubation, which is making a comeback. If you face a challenge, give dream incubation a try! It may offer insight.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Why? As I reflect on this, I suspect part of the explanation is that I’ve mustered the courage to show who I am. When I share what’s on the inside, people can tell there’s no script, no filter editing out my feelings or vulnerabilities. Turns out, authenticity gets the laughs.

I loved this conversation at CAMP Rehoboth in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Thanks to Wesley Combs of Combs Advisory Services, who interviewed me (and I interviewed him right back). Wes describes himself as a generosity coach. He helps people sort out the best ways to use their time, talent and treasure to give back in this stretch of life. You can watch our full conversation on YouTube here.

Fun story: My husband and I met Wes and his partner, Greg, in the airport in Quito, Ecuador, on our way home from an anniversary trip to the Galapagos. After soaking in the exquisite beauty, swimming with turtles and dolphins, the four of us were in that post-bliss haze of reentering society. From that chance encounter, we discovered we knew many of the same people, our four careers overlapping in a web of connections. And now each of us, in our own way, is asking a version of the same question: What do I have to offer? How can I use my life experiences in a new way?

I have exciting news to share

I’ve learned to be open to what the universe serves up. And I have some fun news to share. I’ve been dreaming of a podcast, and it’s finally happening! Your Turn with Allison Aubrey is a co-production, made possible by many people, including Margaret Low, Ryan Merkley, Nadine Zylstra and producers Eric Mennel and Kerry Thompson. The first episode, on how to find your midlife flow, launched this week. Listen on Apple Podcasts here.

I also spoke with my colleague Ailsa Chang about a great first step when you’re asking: what’s next? Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey, which was developed by scientists who study what it takes to go from feeling ok to feeling great. The survey rank-orders your strengths, from love of learning, zest and bravery, to appreciation of beauty, social intelligence and gratitude. The results can be illuminating, a bit like holding a mirror to the soul.

By this age, we know ourselves, of course. But I realized I needed a refresher course, a way to take stock. If you’ve been on the same path for a while, there may be strengths you haven’t made time for, and your profile can flag them.

Science shows that when we use our signature strengths in everyday life, we feel better. And a study of middle-aged women found those who experimented with using their strengths in a new way for a week felt happier.

Dr. Christine Carter, who facilitated the survey when I took it at the Modern Elder Academy, points out that the way we use our strengths can evolve as our interests and circumstances shift. She’s a big believer in the power of change and adaptation.

A midlife reset doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Follow your native curiosity, and stay open to what you find along the path. Change doesn’t require an overhaul. It can start with one small step. If you’ve got time this weekend, give the survey a try. I’d love to hear what you discover.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

From the outside, everything about my life appeared rosy, and indeed I have so much to be grateful for as I reflect on my family, friends and career. But something nagged. The rational part of my brain told me, just keep on keeping on. Keep doing what you know how to do. But my body sent different signals.

I felt distracted and less energetic. Having balanced the obligations of kids and career for many years, I realized that the daily deadlines of a newsroom can lead to burnout. So, as I describe in Your Turn, I took a sabbatical, or a gap year.

Hollis introduces the idea of a summons of the soul in midlife, which sounds both exciting and terrifying. I reached out to him and he generously agreed to meet.

He describes a midlife passage as an invitation to leave behind the focus on societal expectations and to start listening more to the voice within.

I asked him what the first sign is that it’s time to make the passage. His answer was simple: a loss of energy. Maybe you don’t feel the same lift from the things you’ve been doing for years. This can begin with a subtle feeling of boredom, ennui, lethargy or loss of joy. It’s a bit like the psyche pulling its support from a life that no longer fits.

At first, many people don’t listen to this. Many don’t recognize what’s happening. In fact, lots of people double down, until they’re running to stand still.

Our instinct is to work harder. “It’s like being in a hole, and you know the tool that you have in your hand is a shovel,” he said. “So you work harder at what you’ve been doing, but the hole gets deeper.”

Hollis describes this as a collision between two selves. One is the self shaped from the outside. This is the self built to meet the expectations of parents, teachers, bosses and mortgages. We need this self. (In fact, it’s what we tell our kids is the necessary part of the launch to “adulting.”) But over time, this self may cut us off from intuition. The true self, or soul, is the opposite orientation. It’s something within that wants to be embodied through you into the world. Hollis stressed that he uses “soul” as a psychological term, meaning who you most deeply are.

I told Hollis about a dream I had several years ago. The Morning Edition host was in the studio, the on-air light was flashing, and he introduced me. I could hear him, but I couldn’t get out of bed. I thought it was an anxiety dream, a fear that I’d missed a deadline or live appearance. But a dream psychologist helped me see it differently: It was a dream about feeling stuck. After many years of covering “news,” I was hungry to explore the kind of wisdom that doesn’t fit neatly into the daily news cycle.

“There’s the psyche speaking,” Hollis said.

Hollis says many of us lack a deep sense of permission to lead our own lives. No one can hand you that permission, he told me. “You have to seize it for yourself.”

Many of us cling to the status quo because change is scary. It’s easier to ignore the nag or call to try something new. Especially if it means shifting away from a career or role that brings a sense of identity and security. Why upset the apple cart?

When I asked Hollis whether people who answer the summons become happier, he gently pushed back. Happiness is fleeting, he said. A glass of cold water makes you happy when you’re thirsty. What lasts is meaning. Leaning into true self doesn’t make your life easy,” he said. “It might make it more difficult, but it’s more purposeful.”

He kept coming back to one idea: It’s not what you do. It’s what it serves inside of you. I thought of a fiddler I met on a plane who told me the violin and the fiddle are the same instrument played with a different attitude. She described to me why she had given up playing classical music on the violin and had taken up the fiddle. Playing violin in an orchestra requires a mindset of mastery, of playing a composer’s notes perfectly. And this can lead to burnout. In contrast, playing the fiddle invites improvisation and personal expression. It’s playing from the heart. Hollis smiled at this.

Dr. Hollis, thank you for your time and your wisdom. If you’re asking “what’s next,” I’ll leave you with the question he asks: What is wanting expression through you?

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

I was hosted by the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Resource Foundation, a nonprofit that offers free support, education and wellness programs. Executive director Maria Gemma gathered a circle of remarkable women: breast cancer survivors, women still in treatment, as well as nurses and doctors pioneering new approaches to women’s health.

People shared their stories, and it felt good to simply listen. Not to sound sappy, but I love the energy that rises when women show up for each other. This is the part of writing Your Turn I didn’t anticipate. These gatherings are a chance to map our midlives together, naming both obstacles and opportunities.

Maria connected me with women I’d like to know better, including Bianca Siravo, who opened a health practice focused on sexual well-being, pelvic health and menopause care. If you feel rushed or unheard in the mainstream medical system, seven minutes here, a referral there, imagine having a few hours with your provider to talk through it all. That’s Siravo’s approach.

So many of us feel shortchanged by the medical establishment. I thought of Melinda French Gates’ recent commitment to women’s health at midlife and her op-ed, where she pointed to a McKinsey finding that for every dollar spent globally on medical research, just five cents goes toward women’s health. It’s a gap that providers like Bianca are all too familiar with.

At the end of the event, one of the participants, a breast cancer survivor named Kim Keune, offered me a ride to the airport. She’s a photographer with an infectiously warm spirit, the kind of person who is quick to tell you how grateful she is, despite what she’s been through.

Kim told me she loves her work, yet like so many women in midlife, she’s also open to new ways to use her skills. I asked her what she liked best about taking someone’s photo, and I loved her answer: the art of capturing someone’s essence. Ah, that’s nice, I thought. Everyone wants to be seen and the images she captures are like a gift, to help people feel seen.

When I set out to write the book, I was focused on the craft. I didn’t anticipate what is now the best part: Every room I walk into I find women sharing their wisdom, and lifting each other up. The breakfast was a reminder of what happens when we let ourselves be seen and known.

Thank you to Maria Gemma and also to Kathleen Shannon, who opened her home to me, and to Robin Kall and Emily Homonoff for connecting us.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

She was 54 when her business partners approached her about launching the fitness chain. She decided to rev up and start anew! Now, she’s still at it and remains focused on staying strong. She says she lifts the same weight she lifted in her 30s. After a full day of biomarker testing, she says her functional age came back at 51. “What have you been doing?” the doctors asked her.

As a Gen X woman, I was late to get the message on the importance of strength-training. I had always focused on cardio, and was a runner through my 40’s.

But I got a wake-up call after I had a body composition analysis and learned I was under-muscled. I had reported on the risks of sarcopenia (which is a medical term for muscle loss as we age), but I hadn’t realized I was at risk.

So I started with a trainer at the YMCA, and eventually found my way to group classes, including Orangetheory. The payoff shows up in small, everyday ways. On a recent flight, I hoisted my jam-packed suitcase into the overhead bin without a second thought.

A few weeks ago, Bonnie Tsui helped me unpack why muscle health is cognitive health. Here’s one more reason to start. A study I reported on for NPR found that women who did strength training two to three days a week had about a 30 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease. And yet only about 1 in 5 women in the study did regular weight training.

And if you’re starting later, you’re in good company. Dr. Louise Aronson, a geriatrician and the author of Elderhood, took up weight training in her early sixties and feels stronger than ever, building new muscle without bulking up. And research shows that people into their eighties can build muscle and functional strength with resistance training. “You’re never too old,” cardiologist Martha Gulati told me.

So where do you begin? Here’s the good news: you don’t need a membership, and there’s no single right way in. You can lift, walk, swim, or follow a class online from your living room. What matters is finding something you’ll stick with.

Ellen’s own advice is refreshingly open. “If it’s not Orangetheory, maybe it’s another type of workout that works for you,” she told me. Her formula is to combine cardio and strength training. The science backs up that pairing. When I interviewed Gulati about her study, she put it simply: “Both should be prescribed.” And results come sooner than you might think: About 30 minutes of strength training a few times a week, combined with 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise per week is shown to be beneficial.

If you’re starting from zero, physical therapist Todd Wheeler suggests two strength sessions a week, 15 to 20 minutes each. You don’t even need weights. Planks, air squats and push-ups use your own body weight as resistance, and wall push-ups are a fine place to start. “Start small and stay consistent,” he says.

And if walking into a class feels intimidating, borrow Ellen’s permission slip. She tells nervous newcomers to go in and say they’re only staying for 10 minutes. “No one ever stayed for just the 10 minutes,” she says.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Even 15 extra minutes a week is enough to take a first step. What will your first 10 minutes be? I’d love to hear it.

You can watch my full conversation with Ellen in today’s video.

Sharing my thanks

To everyone who has bought a copy of Your Turn, passed it along to a friend, or taken the time to write an Amazon review: thank you. Every review helps another reader find the book, and every conversation you start carries the message further than I ever could on my own. I’m grateful to each of you.

— Allison

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Rachel is one of the best listeners I know, and our conversation touched on how our sense of purpose shifts over time, and how the adrenaline-fueled decades of daily deadlines and parenting duties can take a toll on physical and emotional health.

One of the most common questions I get on this book tour is some version of:

“How do I figure out what’s next when I’m still so busy right now, tending to the obligations of work and caregiving?”

I get it. Most of us continue to have lots of day to day responsibilities. And when it comes to finding your midlife momentum, it’s unlikely to arrive as an overnight pivot.

Here’s what I’ve learned after interviewing more than 150 people, ages 45 to 105: it’s usually a slow crossfade into a new chapter, one that starts with a small step.

So many people I meet are hungry for new projects and new adventures. But they’re also clinging to the status quo, to the solid ground under their feet. Both things can be true at once. That tension isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s just what midlife feels like.

Your Turn is full of tools and strategies for moving forward without blowing up your life to do it. One of my favorites is WOOP.

WOOP was developed by Gabriele Oettingen, a psychology professor at New York University who has spent years studying how people pursue goals. I interviewed her for the book, and am so pleased to weave in her wisdom on goal-setting.

Her research finds that indulging in purely positive fantasies about the future can actually sap motivation, which she detailed in her book Rethinking Positive Thinking.

WOOP, which stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan, is the science-based strategy she developed in response. You name a wish, vividly imagine the best outcome, identify the inner obstacle standing in your way, and make an if-then plan for handling it. (There’s an app if you want to try it yourself.)

The research behind it is compelling. Hope and optimism alone don’t work. Naming the obstacles, fully imagining what that outcome would be are the steps you need to take to move forward.

It takes courage to trade the comfort zone for something new. One way to start preparing is simple: articulate just one goal for your next chapter. Then run it through WOOP and see if it actually holds up, or if it was more fantasy than fit.

Thanks again to Rachel for such a thoughtful conversation, and thank you all for following along on this Your Turn journey. What’s the one goal you’re circling right now? I’d love to hear it.

Sharing my Thanks…

Before I go, a word of gratitude for the week I just had. Thank you to Lisa Schneider of Pearl & Rose for the wonderful conversation, and mahjong after. To the women brought together by Natalie Davis at United States of Care, I am in awe of you. To everyone who came out to Politics & Prose and stayed to ask good questions (see today’s video highlights), thank you as well. And to all of you who turned up in Dallas, Los Angeles, Bethesda, Kensington, Rehoboth Beach and Lewes, and joined online with the University of Chicago: I’m grateful for every one of you.

A special thank you to the friends who have opened their own homes to talk about Your Turn with the people they love. Your support pushed Your Turn onto the You didn’t have to do any of this. You did it anyway, and it means more to me than you know.

— Allison

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

It’s an action packed 20 minutes of insights, reflection, as well as a live demonstration of “venting” and the counterintuitive lesson trivial complaints can teach us. (Dr. Diana Hill gave me twenty seconds. I used all of them.)

If you haven’t been able to watch all the interviews in this series in the lead up to the launch of Your Turn, this will catch you up.

Who you’ll hear from:

Dr. Judith Joseph, on the kind of depression that hides behind a busy calendar. If “I’m not killing it, it is killing me” lands for you, start there.

Dr. Diana Hill, on the point where venting stops helping, and the forty-second exercise that made it into the book.

Kush Khandelwal of the Ageless Athlete podcast, who climbed for the grades for most of his life and now chases awe instead.

Max Lugavere of The Genius Life, on the six words I wrote down afterward: comparison is the thief of joy.

I asked about the concept of learn, earn, return. If life is lived in 3 chapters, it’s now time for a third turn, or return to the playful kid within. Watch how each picks up that thread in their own way.

Press play, and tell me in the comments which moment stuck with you.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Reviews of Your Turn…

I’m humbled and thrilled Your Turn has been chosen as a top 10 pick for best new nonfiction by Amazon editors, and the Next Big Idea Club (curated by Adam Grant, Malcolm Gladwell, etc) named Your Turn a MUST-READ!

Your reviews are incredibly helpful for momentum. So, if you have a minute, I’d love for you to write one, too.

If you haven’t finished the book, you can write a few words on why the topic excites you!

1. Click here to go to the book’s Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Turn-Create-Midlife-Love/dp/1668207257

2. Scroll down and click “Write a customer review” (if it asks you to log in, use your Amazon account)

3. Write your review, choose your star rating, and click “Submit”

Thanks so much!

— Allison

You know the moment. You’re mid-air over the water, hands clamped around the rope, and some part of you already knows it’s time to let go. And, now you’re finally ready!

That’s how today feels.

In 2025 I took a sabbatical from the newsroom and set out on a curiosity tour. I wasn’t looking for Olympians or astronauts or movie stars, because I’ll never be them. I wanted to find people who’ve spent decades in the trenches, toggling between deadlines and parenting duties, and who are now pivoting to heartfelt Third Turns. The tour took me from a longevity lab to a lavender farm to a mahjong table with many stops in between. I interviewed 150 people between the ages of 45 and 106. I sat in on a recipe-writing class that felt a bit like group therapy. I crawled around a jungle floor in Costa Rica pretending to be an animal. I lifted a dumbbell for the first time in my life. And in a research lab, I got up close and personal with the vagus nerve, watching in real time as scientists traced the wiring between mind and body.

What I found became Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love. And today it’s out in the world.

What today actually means

When I finally held a finished copy a few weeks ago, all I could say for a solid minute was: it’s real. Then my mom opened it and saw that I’d dedicated it to her, and she cried. So did I.

I’ve spent my career telling other people’s stories. This is the first time the story is mine, and I’ll admit it: I’ve had my own second adolescence writing it. The tears, the laughter, and the questions I kept circling back to. Who am I now? What is happening to my body? What is my purpose? I’ve had the same job as my teenage daughter.

The book is filled with the wisdom I’ve gleaned from many people who’ve shared their stories, and I now call this stretch of life the Third Turn. In a horse race, the third turn is where the dynamics can suddenly change. Some horses find a second wind and surge ahead, just when no one is expecting it. It’s an observation my grandfather shared with me as a teenager after watching the Kentucky Derby. “Why here,” I asked. When you can see the home stretch a sense of urgency arises, he told me. If not now, when? Decades later, that question — if not now, when? — is the thread that runs through this whole book.

One ask

If you’re excited about the book, I’d love for you to post on social media. Amazon opens its reviews today and for a first-time author reviews are an important way to gain momentum. It’s simple: Click on this page, then scroll down & click “Write a customer review” (if asked to log in, use your Amazon account).

And if you’ve been waiting to get the book, today’s the day. l love supporting local bookstores. I’ve had amazing launch events with Wonderland Books in Bethesda, Browseabout in Rehoboth Beach, Interabang in Dallas, Skylight in LA, etc. So, walk into your local bookstore and ask for it by name. Or, here’s the link to order online.

Now, your turn

Every woman I met on this tour had a rope swing moment. The lawyer who opened the bookstore. The physician assistant who joined a band to sing lead vocals in her 60s. The shy editor who signed up for improv and walked off the stage a different person. None of them knew how the water would feel. They let go anyway.

So here I am, mid-air. The book is in your hands now, and I can’t wait to hear what it stirs up for you. Hit reply (or add a note in the comments) and tell me. Tell me what you’re holding onto. Tell me what you’re ready to let go of.

It’s your turn. Let’s make it our turn, together.

— Allison

Read the book

This is the P litter. No names yet. Every one of them is a future service dog.

Allison is a volunteer breeder caretaker for Canine Companions, the largest nonprofit provider of service dogs in the country. She’s in Chapter 10 of Your Turn. Ask what these puppies will grow up to do and she gets goosebumps. One of her past pups, Nacho, works at a physical therapy clinic for children recovering from burns. Buttoning a shirt is one of the hardest things to relearn, and the kids often refuse to try. So the therapists put a little vest on Nacho and ask the child to button it. Every time, they do. Other service dogs are placed with people who have PTSD, and the dogs are trained to help interrupt nightmares, in part by nudging or licking the person awake, then staying close and applying pressure to help ground them and calm their heart rate as they come out of the episode.

Allison trained as an engineer and spent a long career in Silicon Valley. She grew up with horses, then went decades without a horse or a dog. What I love about her story, is that she embodies the Third Turn mindset. As you may have heard me say, I dislike the word retirement, mostly because “tired” is sitting right in the middle of it. Allison Ash hasn’t retired. She’s rewired.

“I love science. I love engineering. I loved what I did,” she told me. “But I thought I loved it. I don’t love it like I like this.”

More soulful, I offered.

“More soulful, more meaningful, and absolutely more joyful.”

In Your Turn I argue that the old script—learn, earn, retire—doesn’t describe her or most of the women I met on my curiosity tour. What fits is learn, earn, return. Return to something you loved before the world handed you a job description, and return to the playful kid within. Allison didn’t hesitate. “This taps into something I had forgotten was there. The return word is absolutely accurate.”

It’s also work. Mama dog is eating ten cups a day, up from two. Friday the puppies start on gruel, and then comes what Allison calls puppy math: ramp the puppies up, ramp the nursing down. She weighs every puppy and charts the numbers, “because the only way you can see trends is to chart them.” A detail person who loves animals. Strengths, meet values.

Her advice for anyone thinking beyond parenting and the paycheck: nothing is permanent. Before the puppies, she volunteered at a homeless services organization, but it was not the right fit. She still donates, as she cares about the cause, but she says give yourself the bandwidth to try things, and the permission to walk away.

Your Turn is a “Top Ten” nonfiction book pick for September

What a surprise. The editors at Amazon Books named Your Turn one of their top ten nonfiction picks for September. Thank you to every reader who is helping this book find its way.

Explore the September picks

It’s happening! My publication day is Tuesday

Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love comes out Tuesday, September 8. If you preordered, it lands on your doorstep or your Kindle this week. If you haven’t, here’s where to find it.

Order Your Turn (Amazon) · Bookshop.org

And if you’re one of my book ambassadors, this is the week. Amazon opens reviews on pub day, and I’ll be in touch with a friendly nudge.

Come say hello

Monday, September 14 | Washington, DC. In conversation with Rachel Martin, 7pm, Politics & Prose, 5015 Connecticut Ave NW. Details

Tuesday, September 15 | Online. Rediscovering Purpose: A Conversation with Allison Aubrey, University of Chicago Graham School, 11:00–11:45am CT. Register

Thursday, September 17 | Gaithersburg, MD. Pearl & Rose with founder Lisa Schneider, 4:00–6:00pm, Locally Crafted Workshop, 35 Grand Corner Avenue. Details

Wednesday, September 30 | Providence, RI. The Cardigan Connection with Robin Kall, 7:00–8:30pm, Alchemy, 171 Chestnut Street. Tickets

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

So I did. There was no creamer for my coffee. A small thing, except coffee is a ritual for me. My car is a mess, and I have not taken the time to clean it out in well over a year. My daughter’s field hockey cleats have gone missing, the season starts next week, she has not started looking, so I am going to have to be the one to find them.

“I’m going to have to be the one,” Diana repeated back. “That’s always the end of the mom story.”

Then she asked how it felt in my body.

Petty. That is the honest answer. A little bit of wherever you go, there you are.

The point of diminishing returns

Dr. Diana Hill is a psychologist and the author of Wise Effort, and she is one of the people I keep returning to on my curiosity tour. She is also in my book. The exercise she walked me through, which she calls “vent and joy,” made it into Your Turn because I could not stop thinking about it.

Here is what she has learned from more than fifteen years of working with clients: part of what you want from a therapist is simply to vent. That part works. But venting has a point of diminishing returns. It stops being a release and becomes a habit loop, and it entrenches you further into your own story. From a neuroscience perspective, Diana says, you are wiring those neurons of negativity around and around.

She likens it to cake. The first couple of bites are tasty, and who doesn’t love that sugar hit. But at what point does the cake stop being “worth it?” The third bite?

Now put that on a walk with a friend, both of you cataloging what has gone wrong. Is there a moment when you can feel it turn, when you know that by the time this walk ends you will feel worse, not better?

Pay attention to that point.

An arrow pointing to what’s important

What surprised me is that Diana does not want you to get rid of the negative feeling. She specializes in acceptance and commitment therapy, and she puts it plainly: what is most painful to you is an arrow that points to what is most important to you. To your values.

That morning she had been venting about her own to-do list. Too much to do, nobody helping, blah blah blah. Underneath it was this: she wants to make ice cream with her son before school starts.

Then she did it to me, live, the way she would with a client. The creamer is your time, your one sweet thing in the morning. The car is organization, which matters to you and has an impact on you. The cleats are your daughter, and wanting her to be successful in her independence from you.

I told her she was hired.

If you are listening to someone else’s complaints, she says, you can shift them just by reflecting back what they value.

Twenty seconds of joy

Then she flipped it and asked for the small things going right. Not grand, not broad. This morning, here and now.

A heron, out my back window, which I turned the camera to show her. My next-door neighbor knocking at 8:10 to say she was visiting her sister and wanted to bring her my book. She bought four! And a genuinely good night’s sleep, so I woke up rested.

How did that feel in my body, when I focused on the good things, not complaints?

So much better. So much better.

What I did not expect is that Diana wanted both. She wanted the coffee creamer, because she is out of creamer too, using almond milk that is not as thick, and it makes her feel less silly about her own morning. She wanted the heron, because then she could tell me about the deer she watched for an hour yesterday. She wanted the neighbor and the four books, because then she could share how excited she gets when a friend buys hers.

“And then I want to connect with you around all of it.”

Close quarters

She had come to our conversation from spending time with one of her close friends who had been in the hospital, and had just had major cancer surgery. There were horrible moments as her friend persevered through a slew of challenges. And, woven in, came beautiful hand-holding moments, with overwhelming feelings of closeness and connection, which feels so rich and joyful.

Joy and challenge live in such close quarters. If you are waiting for the moment when everything is finally going well, it does not arrive.

Out Diana’s window there is a porta potty from her construction, a patio that needs sweeping, sunflowers, and an oak tree. She can look at the patio and build an entire story about who is not sweeping it and how she has no time to sweep it herself. Or she can see the oak tree.

“We are the chooser of our narratives,” she said.

That is where it becomes your turn. Noticing the point where venting stops paying, and noticing that the energy is yours to move. The whole thing took me twenty seconds.

Try it tomorrow morning. Twenty seconds of what is bugging you, then twenty seconds of what is not. Then come back and tell me what you saw out your window.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

When I finally laid hands on a finished copy of my book, for a solid minute all I could say was: it’s real. It’s real. And another wonderful moment: The moment my mom opened the book and realized I’d dedicated it to her. (Yes, she cried!)

Two years of writing. A curiosity tour that took me from a longevity lab to a lavender farm to a mahjong table, interviewing 150 people between the ages of 45 and 106.

The moment caught me off guard. I walked into a pre-launch event at The Book Loft in Oak Park, IL, and a table full of Your Turn copies were artfully displayed. What had begun as an idea, is now a book.

Here’s why I wrote Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love. Not to tell you my midlife looked a certain way, but rather to hand you what I found: women who parlayed their skills and talents into third turns full of purpose, connection, and joy. I combine their wisdom with all the best science-backed tools and strategies to build your own, including surveys and exercises to kick-start your next chapter.

If you’ve felt that ambush of restlessness, that quiet fear the best years are behind you: they aren’t. This is a winding up. As you’ll see in the video with Kathy Bolhous, who graciously hosted a pre-launch celebration in Chicago, there are so many ways to move forward in this next stretch, and knowing your why can help you get there.

I have two small asks:

1. If you haven’t already, you can Preorder your copy on Amazon.

2. Mark Your Turn “Want to Read” on Goodreads.

Both matter more than you’d think for a book that launches in two weeks.

Watch above. Then come connect in the comments. It’s your turn.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

I put it to Jonathan Fields right after we finished recording an episode of his podcast, Good Life Project, when I asked whether he’d mind if I turned the mic around. He agreed with the frame, then named what’s missing from it: teenagers get structure and support for all that fumbling. We don’t. What we get instead is a phrase that has bugged him for years: “midlife crisis”.

Watch the conversation above. It runs about twelve minutes, and it plays less like an interview than like two friends talking.

The second window

Do that reexamining in your 40s, 50s, or early 60s and people look at you sideways. Especially if you have what he calls the indicia of success. Why would you want to shake things up now?

“Maybe it’s actually not a crisis at all,” he told me. “Maybe it’s this beautiful moment of transition or awakening.”

You might come out the other side and decide the life you have is a good one, with a few tweaks at the edges. That counts. You still needed the beat to breathe, step back, and ask whether it’s the way you want to keep feeling in the next season.

Three words

Fifty didn’t do anything to him. Fifty-eight did. He could see the big number coming and didn’t want to coast into it, so he asked himself what he could learn, do, or build in the next two years that would let him center the next twenty.

Three words came back. Significance, simplicity, joy.

He spent the two years running experiments against them. Not planning. Testing.

Simplicity had teeth. Jonathan is a maker, and he found that doing too many things at once produced overwhelm, then burnout, and then he enjoyed none of them, including the ones he loved. So he started asking what he needed to cull, or at least say “not now” to. He was running two companies. A couple of months ago he exited one, in no small part because of that process.

What came back in was older than any of it. He was an artist as a kid, always making things with his hands, and that had largely left his adult life. He’s now in his third or fourth round of woodblock printing classes, carving wood into plates and running them through a big press.

I told him it sounded like he’d given up pathological productivity. He wouldn’t take the credit. “It’s still a constant battle,” he said.

Then he left me with these words: Always be curious.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

I’ve spent my career telling other people’s stories. Now, for the first time, I’m the one with a book—Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love, and I’ve learned something every first-time author learns fast: early momentum makes or breaks a launch.

I invite you to a book launch celebration September 3rd with Wonderland Books in Bethesda. (Registration here.) Or join me in Chicago (Oak Park) this week (8/12) or in Los Angeles on August 27 in collaboration w/ LAist and Wallis Annenberg GenSpace.

And here’s my ask. There’s still time to pre-order the book and write a quick review:

Three small steps

1. Preorder the book. Amazon or Bookshop.org (whichever you prefer). Preorders signal to booksellers that a book has an audience, and they count more than you’d think.

2. Mark it “Want to Read” on Goodreads. One click, right here. If you don’t have a Goodreads account, it takes about 60 seconds to create one.

3. Write a quick early review: even one sentence. Yes, one sentence counts. If you’re stuck, just finish this thought: “I’m excited for this book because I want to learn more about how…”

• ... I can approach midlife as a beginning instead of an ending.

• ... midlife can be a launchpad instead of a plateau.

• ... it’s never too late to build a life true to my purpose.

• .... to let go of perfection and accept the messy middle (and midlife!)

• .... to pivot from caring for everyone else to caring for myself.

• ... connect with my inner child and reclaim the creativity I had as a kid.

• .... who I am outside of my identity in the workforce and parenthood.

• .... to take a “Midlife Curiosity Tour” and build my own version of a gap year.

• ... to reignite my spark for life again, at every age.

Post it on Goodreads now, and email a copy to me at allisondaubrey@gmail.com.

Amazon doesn’t open reviews until publication day, so on September 8 I’ll send yours back with a friendly nudge to post it there too.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

What you get in return

If you preorder 10 or more copies for your book club, I’ll invite you to a series of live Zoom discussions to help create midlife momentum and find your Third Turn.

That’s it

For a first-time author who has spent two decades in your ears, I’m now (a little nervously, mostly excitedly) putting a book into your hands.

Ready to be an ambassador? Start with the preorder, then hit reply and tell me you’re in.

It’s your turn. Let’s make it our turn, together.

— Allison

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

It’s such a key ingredient of being together, and such an easy bridge to connection.

This week I talk with my friend and “soul sister” Tara Casagrande, founder of Ease Yoga & Meditation, about our new midlife adventures, and how LAUGHTER is at the heart of it.

Last year we took a laughter yoga class together as part of my “curiosity tour” writing Your Turn. What began as fake laughter turned into real laughter, infectious laughter, the kind that takes over a room before you even remember what was funny in the first place.

In the book, I dig into the science behind “laughter is the best medicine,” including the fact that laughing helps our bodies produce more nitric oxide and improve blood flow. And I borrow the phrase ‘survival of the friendliest’ to make the point that friendship is an evolutionary strategy that promotes good health and longevity.

Tara and I also talked through three myths of midlife, and decided they are BS!

Myth 1: The best years are behind you

The science says otherwise. The U-shaped happiness curve shows how contentment tends to dip when we’re in the thick of it in our 30s and 40s, then tends to rise again as we move into our 50s, and beyond.

What I see happening is that we’re leaving the old societal script behind and entering a wisdom stage, one led by gut and intuition rather than by what we’re supposed to do or want. Intuition leads to freedom, and following your heart. It’s a beautiful thing.

Myth 2: Purpose is for the young

Not true, and my book is full of proof. I’ve met women who’ve parlayed their strengths and talents into entirely new pursuits, finding purpose and joy on the other side of a pivot.

Gayle, a lawyer, opened a bookshop. Mary Beth left a long career at CBS, one that took her all over the globe, to do hyperlocal journalism in her own community. Joanne stepped onto a stage for the first time as an improv performer. LJ and Sue give back on the C&O Canal towpath, volunteering on the trail they’ve biked for years.

The possibilities are endless. Purpose gives us a reason to get out of bed in the morning and look forward to each day. Purpose helps stave of cognitive decline, so it’s as important as exercise. If you’re not feeling it right now, it's still out there, waiting for you to find your on-ramp.

Myth 3: You can’t learn new tricks

Also false. Neuroplasticity has no expiration date. Our brains stay capable of rewiring, adapting, and learning well beyond midlife. The idea that we’re fixed by 50 is a myth , not a biological fact.

Here’s something I’ve been learning firsthand. As a journalist, I’ve never had to sell anything. I report the story, and it goes out on the airwaves. That’s it. For the first time in my life, I have a sales job: promoting my own book. As a first-time author, it’s hard to get lift. I’m learning so many new things, and the most important lesson so far is this: don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. That has taken me well outside my comfort zone, but I’m doing it anyway.

Calling book ambassadors—it’s your turn

So here’s my ask. Will you become a book ambassador? Books need early supporters to build momentum, and the easiest way to help is simply to order a copy. Here’s how you can help:

1. Preorder the book. Amazon or Bookshop.org (whichever you prefer). Preorders signal to booksellers that a book has an audience, and they count more than you’d think.

2. Mark it “Want to Read” on Goodreads. One click, right here. If you don’t have a Goodreads account, it takes about 60 seconds to create one.

3. Share why you’re interested in the book. Even one sentence helps. This isn’t a review. It’s simply a note about what makes you curious or why the book feels relevant to you.

If you’re stuck, finish this thought: “I’m excited for this book because I want to learn more about how …”

• … to answer the question, “What’s next?”

• … to create a next chapter with more purpose, joy, and adventure.

• … to stop waiting for permission to pursue what truly matters to me.

• … to turn my experience and strengths into an exciting new adventure.

• … to discover how small changes today can lead to a more meaningful future.

Post it on Goodreads now, and email a copy to me at allisondaubrey@gmail.com.

Amazon doesn’t open reviews until publication day, so on September 8 I’ll send yours back with a friendly nudge to post it there too.

Comment and let me know you’re in.

Thank you, truly. Every presale and Goodreads note helps!

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Watching those five conversations back-to-back, one thing stood out: each guest, in a very different way, gave us permission to start small. Not with the overhaul. With the first step.

Here’s one idea worth taking from each conversation, and where you can watch the full interview.

Your brain has a health score, and you get to choose where to start

Harvard neurologist Dr. Jonathan Rosand created the Brain Care Score after hearing the same question from families for years: What can I do?

The free quiz covers 12 factors associated with brain health, and higher scores are linked to a significantly lower risk of dementia and stroke. His advice for getting started could hardly be simpler: think of the vegetable you already like most, and eat more of it.

Watch the full conversation with Dr. Rosand and Dr. Lucy McBride.

Surviving but not thriving? There’s a name for that

Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph put words to something many people experience but struggle to name: High-Functioning Depression.

It may not look like depression from the outside. It can look like productivity, competence, and getting everything done. Her Five V’s framework begins with perhaps the hardest step: validating what you actually feel, rather than what you think you should feel.

Watch my conversation with Dr. Joseph, including a 60-second grounding technique you can try today.

Could a paintbrush slow down aging?

Researcher Daisy Fancourt’s latest study found that people who regularly engage with the arts showed an estimated 4% slower rate of biological aging.

And no, you don’t have to be especially talented. You can paint, garden, sing, dance, or simply go to a concert. Participation matters more than proficiency.

Watch our conversation about the surprising ways the arts can act like medicine.

What to eat to feel calmer

Nutritional psychiatrist Dr. Uma Naidoo explained the powerful connection between the gut and the brain, including why so much of the body’s serotonin is produced in the gut.

She also shared her wonderfully simple “SAW” method: Swap one habit, Add more plants and fiber, and Walk every day.

That’s it. No kitchen overhaul required.

Watch the full conversation, including why sourdough may be a better choice than white bread.

The woman who stopped waiting for the perfect moment

Then there’s Joanne Harris, a lifelong introvert who signed up for an improv class around the time her daughter left for college—and discovered a voice she didn’t know she had.

Her lesson from the stage was simple: the perfect moment rarely arrives. When you have something to say, you have to be willing to jump in.

Watch Joanne’s story.

Five people, five very different lives, and one shared lesson: you don’t need unlimited time, talent, or willpower. You need a place to begin.

A vegetable. A walk. A feeling named out loud. A scene you finally decide to enter.

Which conversation are you watching first? And what is one small start you could make this week?

In the latest episode, author Bonnie Tsui explains why protecting your memory as you age may begin with something surprisingly physical: your muscles.

Don’t miss Muscle Health Is Cognitive Health.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Researchers found people 80 and older who walk quickly, and walk a lot, what researchers call “super movers,” cut their risk of cognitive decline by half compared to their slower-moving peers.

I covered the study when it came off embargo and I reached out to Bonnie Tsui, author of On Muscle: The Stuff That Moves Us and Why It Matters (Amazon) to help unpack it.

Tsui wasn’t surprised at all. “Muscle health is cognitive health,” she told me. It takes strength, coordination and balance to keep moving, and muscles sit at the center of all of it. When we move, she explained, our muscles release signaling molecules that boost brain cell growth and help regulate metabolism.

Muscle, Tsui writes, is really about the potential for action and owning your own strength, beyond aesthetics, or how you look. Muscle is remarkably adaptable, wherever you are in life. She points to a twin study, identical twins who took very different paths, one staying sedentary, one continuing to run marathons, as evidence that meaningful change is possible at any age. Even for women in their 50s, 60s and beyond who have never lifted a weight in their lives, it’s not too late to start strength training.

Tsui describes muscle building as a cycle where exercise stresses and damages fibers, prompting stem cells to repair and strengthen them. It’s a constant process of breakdown and rebuilding, which has some parallels with personal growth as we age: constantly pushing through challenges and doing the work to move ahead. Building muscle, in other words, is akin to building resilience.

One of the people who left an impression on her while writing the book was Matthew Sanford, a nationally recognized author, yoga teacher and pioneer in adapting yoga for people with disabilities. She says we’re all somewhere on the continuum of physical ability, from being in peak performance shape at one end of the spectrum to having a disability. A disability can happen suddenly, or slowly as we age, but our bodies inevitably change. Tsui makes the case that muscle and movement are for all of us, regardless of our abilities or disabilities.

As for how to get stronger, Tsui says there’s no single right way in. You can lift weights or do other forms of resistance training. There are unlimited exercise classes online you can do from your living room. You can walk. You can swim. The common thread isn’t the specific activity, it’s consistency, and finding a way to move that feels good. The goal is to stick with it, and find a practice that works for you.

5 benefits of strength training

1. A longer life. Strength training two to three times a week is linked to a 30 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease among women. Researchers say the effect comes from the combined boost strength training gives to cardiovascular fitness, blood pressure and healthy body composition. Strength training is also tied to a lower the risk of death from dementia.

2. Better mental health. A body of clinical trials shows resistance training measurably eases depressive symptoms, with meta-analyses finding a small-to-moderate effect size, and researchers link the improvement to gains in physical strength, self-esteem and body confidence, not just the general mood lift that comes with any exercise. In some studies, the more strength people gained, the more their depressive symptoms eased.

3. Fewer falls. Falls are a leading cause of injury and death among older adults, and strength and balance-based training has been shown to lower fall risk in community-dwelling older adults, with some studies putting the reduction as high as 50 percent. Building leg and core strength improves balance and reaction time, both of which help people catch themselves before a stumble turns into a fall.

4. Healthier joints. Strength training doesn’t wear down joints, contrary to a common fear. One large study found people with a history of strength training had 17 to 23 percent lower rates of frequent knee pain and knee osteoarthritis than those without, and the benefit was strongest among older adults. Stronger muscles around a joint, like the quadriceps around the knee, help absorb impact and take pressure off cartilage.

5. Better blood sugar control. Muscle is where the body does most of its work clearing sugar from the bloodstream, accounting for roughly 80 percent of insulin-driven glucose uptake. Strength training has been shown to meaningfully improve insulin sensitivity and lower fasting blood sugar and long-term blood sugar markers, making it a powerful tool.

The science keeps pointing the same direction: move, and keep moving. Tsui and I discuss what that actually looks like in life (hers, mine, maybe yours) in this week’s Your Turn Live interview. Watch it, then go find the thing that gets you moving. It’s your turn!

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my forthcoming book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love which is available for pre-sale now.

Preorder Your Turn (Amazon)

Which is why I took a sabbatical from the newsroom and set out on a curiosity tour, using my journalist’s searchlight to find people who are oozing with energy and excitement about what comes next.

What I found became my book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

I’m excited to share that on September 8, 2026 Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster will publish Your Turn.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

It is packed with dozens of real-life stories of midlife reinvention, people who stopped performing their lives and started living them along with the best tools of self-discovery I’ve gathered over years of reporting.

Their stories are instructive, infectious, and proof that the Third Turn may be the most thrilling phase of life yet. Join me on the journey.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

Ready? Go.

Doesn’t that sound terrifying?

For my guest this week, Joanne Harris, it once was.

Joanne spent many years as a magazine editor, and as a mother, she became a volunteer extraordinaire, helping organize her daughter’s Girl Scout troop and serving as president of the parent association.

She’s the kind of person who is a pro at crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s, but she shied away from the limelight. On the rare occasions her job called for public speaking, she leaned on meticulous preparation. A script, she says, was her shield.

Then, around the time her daughter was nearing college, something nagged at her. She was appreciative of all the good things in her life, a great family and lots of friends, but she felt she needed a reset. A friend suggested she try an improv class. She signed up, and she never looked back.

“I could feel the veil lifting,” she told me, as self-doubt gave way to a new voice she didn’t know she had. She had always been shy, but now she speaks up, takes risks, and lets herself be seen.

Improv taught her to let go of fear. It taught her to answer from her gut, behave from her gut, and trust her intuition, rather than second-guess every move.

What Joanne learned on the improv stage now shows up everywhere in her life, from speaking up more at book club to being the first to raise her hand when her fundraising group needs someone to lead.

“I’ve finally learned to take up space,” Joanne says.

I include a chapter about Joanne in my forthcoming book: Your Turn, How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Here are three lessons from Joanne’s improv journey that apply to midlife reinvention.

1. Authenticity gets the laughs.

On the improv stage, it’s not the person trying hardest to be funny who wins over the crowd. It’s the one being real. “Sometimes the quietest person in the room ends up being the best performer,” Joanne says. Improv also trains people to roll with the unexpected. You may anticipate things going one way, but you have to be flexible when they don’t. That’s a skill worth carrying into any pivot.

2. Practice “yes, and” every chance you get.

Nothing kills momentum like “no.” Joanne describes improv as a kind of adventure with parameters: a way to stay open to new opportunities while still holding onto your boundaries.

3. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.

When Joanne first started performing with her improv group, she’d wait for the ideal opening before jumping into a scene. Eventually she realized the perfect moment never comes. “When you have something to say, jump in,” she says.

That lesson tracks with what I heard from nearly 150 women I interviewed while writing my book, all in the middle of turning their skills into something new. Each described the transition differently, but one thread ran through all of it: they had to kick self-doubt to the curb and act boldly, even while afraid they might fail.

Whether it’s stepping on a stage, learning an instrument, trying poetry or painting, advocating for a cause, or planning a new adventure, stop waiting for the perfect moment.

Just let go and jump in.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

I sat down with Dr. Uma Naidoo, a nutritional psychiatrist, chef, and author of This Is Your Brain on Food and Calm Your Mind with Food, and she brought the kind of clarity that makes you want to remake your grocery list and start anew in your kitchen. She also shares her insights in my forthcoming book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love. Here are some key highlights from our conversation.

Your gut is talking to your brain. Constantly.

The gut-brain connection is no longer fringe science. Dr. Naidoo explained that the vast majority of your serotonin—the neurotransmitter most associated with mood—is produced in your gut. And the communication system linking the gut to the brain? It’s a superhighway of information: the vagus nerve, a sprawling network that runs from your brainstem all the way down to your abdomen, constantly ferrying signals in both directions. That means what you eat directly influences how you feel, think, and manage stress. A healthy, diverse microbiome isn’t just good for digestion; it’s essential for mental well-being.

Sourdough over white bread — and here’s why

Dr. Naidoo recommends limiting refined carbohydrates including bread, but if you are a bread lover, here’s one of the more surprising takeaways: sourdough bread is better for your gut than most of the alternatives. Because it’s fermented, the long fermentation process partially breaks down gluten and reduces phytic acid, making it easier to digest and friendlier to your gut microbiome. In addition, authentic sourdough requires no added sweeteners and relies on yeast to “eat” the sugar in the flour during the fermentation period. This breakdown, combined with the acids formed, may help limit a rapid rise in blood sugar, compared to what happens with commercial white bread. It’s a small, easy swap.

Lavender isn’t just for your bath

Dr. Naidoo walked me through the science of lavender as a calming agent. Lavender contains bioactive compounds, meaning these aren’t just pleasant smells; they exert real biological impact on the brain and body. Specifically, lavender binds to serotonin receptors in the brain and interacts with GABA receptors—GABA being the neurotransmitter that can act as a natural “brake” on the nervous system. Whether used aromatically or in specific supplemental forms, lavender has research behind it as a mood-supportive tool. And in true Dr. Uma fashion, she shared her recipe for lavender-infused play dough. Think of this as a hands-on, sensory way to bring this calming compound into your day!

Spices: the zero-calorie upgrade your brain will thank you for

Here’s one of my favorite things Dr. Uma shared: spices are a zero-calorie way to add flavor to your food and provide your body with compounds that may benefit both your health and your mood, influencing everything from attention to focus. Sage, turmeric, pepper, cinnamon, saffron, rosemary, ginger. Spices can be potent sources of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory compounds that research suggests can have a range of effects. Curcumin, the active ingredient in turmeric, has been linked in studies to improved focus and memory. Sage has been shown to boost alertness. Cinnamon has been found to be beneficial for metabolic health. The takeaway: reach for the spice rack freely and often. It’s one of the easiest, most delicious upgrades you can make.

The SAW Method: Her Simple Starting Point

Here’s her three-step framework, she calls SAW, to get you started.

S — Swap. Trade one unhealthy habit for a better one. Swap that nightly sugary soda or processed dessert for a square of dark chocolate or a whole-food snack.

A — Add. Don’t just restrict—add. Pile in more fiber-rich vegetables, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, and healthy proteins. Feed your microbiome.

W — Walk. Move your body daily. A brisk walk, a dance class, weight training—movement is a massive mood booster and one of the most powerful things you can do for brain health.

That’s it. Swap, Add, Walk. SAW.

Dr. Uma’s message is empowering: you don’t need a complete dietary overhaul to start feeling better. You need a place to start. And SAW gives you that. In addition, Dr Uma shares her best advice on what she wishes she had known when she was younger: Be compassionate with yourself! You are special.

Watch my full conversation with Dr. Uma Naidoo. And if this resonates, her books are a feast for your brain.

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)

How about picking up a paintbrush, trying out a new recipe, tending your garden, playing an instrument, writing a poem, or heading out to a concert? Engaging with the arts and the creative process may actually slow down your rate of agine

That’s the case Daisy Fancourt makes in her new book, Art Cure: The Science of How the Arts Save Lives (Amazon). She’s a professor at University College London and one of the world’s leading researchers on arts and health, Fancourt studies what happens to our bodies and brains when we engage with creative expression. The short answer: a lot of good things.

In her most recent study, she and her collaborators found that people who regularly engage with the arts showed an estimated 4% slower rate of biological aging.

And how do researchers actually measure that? Through something called an epigenetic clock. As we age, chemical tags known as methyl groups attach to our DNA, and the pattern of those tags gives scientists a window into biological age, which is distinct from the number of candles on your birthday cake. Researchers have identified specific locations in the DNA where the density of these chemical modifications most closely tracks with aging. The more methylated DNA in those locations, the more accelerated a person’s biological age tends to be.

It’s not surprising that smoking, poor diet, and a sedentary lifestyle can speed the clock up. What Fancourt’s research suggests is that regular arts engagement may help slow it down.

I sat down with Fancourt for this week’s It’s Your Turn Live, and what struck me most was how accessible her message is. You don’t have to be talented. You don’t have to perform. You just have to find a form of art that resonates with you. Music, poetry, gardening, culinary arts, woodworking and the list goes on and on. Fancourt herself loves music and literature. She says she plays piano and reads.

The Biology Behind It

Research shows that engaging with the arts can decrease stress hormones like cortisol, and is associated with reduced depressive symptoms and an increase in positive emotions.

Music is being used to aid memory recall in Alzheimer’s patients. Dance is being explored as a tool for slowing motor decline in Parkinson’s. There’s a growing body of evidence that art acts, in some meaningful ways, like medicine.

Arts Prescriptions

One of the ideas that Fancourt describes that I love is arts “by prescription.” Just as we’ve seen the growth of “fresh food prescriptions” to improve health, the idea of social prescribing is that doctors and healthcare providers could prescribe arts engagement as clinical care. Think: Museum visits, choir participation or gardening club. The idea that your physician might one day hand you a prescription for a pottery class might sound far-fetched, but the research is pushing in that direction.

Fancourt’s message is clear: find a creative niche. Sing in a band. Take a dance class. Write stories. Attend a poetry jam. Paint. Sculpt. Draw. The arts offer something screens can’t , a way to make and reflect, not just consume.

You can read more about Fancourt’s research in my NPR story here.

Is There a Creative Activity Calling Your Name?

If the word “performance” makes you want to run, that’s fine. Taking a dance class can be a form of play — no audience required. Watching a dance troupe, attending a concert, or going to the theater are all legitimate ways to engage with the arts. The point isn’t to be good. The point is to show up. So I’m curious: What’s yours?

Like what you’re reading? There’s more in my new book, Your Turn: How to Create a Midlife You Love.

Buy Your Turn (Amazon)