This week Connor and I rewatched Studio Ghibli’s Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. It was release in 1984, but feels like it was written for us today. For those of you not familiar, Nausicaä is about people living in a post apocalyptic polluted world. There are only pockets where humans can still survive. The only thing we know about the apocalypse is that there were giant monsters that set fire to the world for seven days. (Probably a nod to the nuclear bombs that were dropped on Japan.) Nausicaä herself is a pacifist, but a dormant part of one of these terrible monsters is found and accidentally brought to her valley. As a result, two other warring kingdoms fight over who will claim and revive it.

The war-like Tolmekia insist that the reviving the monster is inevitable. If they don’t do it someone else will and that we have to “learn to live with the monster” Sounds a lot like the language around AI these days. So much so that it got me thinking about the experiences I’ve had around AI.

I’ve heard people say how they can’t afford an artist for their flyers, etc., but I’ve decided that’s not true because in the last year I’ve had two separate experiences where I provided free art and AI generated art was used instead.

The first was a contest. I’ve entered and lost plenty of contests in my time; usually it hurts for about a day and then I move on. This one stung longer because an AI logo was chosen instead. The contest didn’t ban AI, so in the interest of not shaming the winner who followed the rules I won’t be posting their entry, but I will share mine minus an identifying word. The guidance was to make a logo that could translate well in black and white that could also have a holiday version. I had imagined bits of holly could go around the book to make the logo feel like a wreath.

The second time hurt even worse. I offered a free poster for a local theater group with the plan to offer funds to help pay for other artists to make future posters. I would have rather been told no than what actually happened.

In the interest of giving them something they would like, I submitted several thumbnails.

After having one approved I made several color studies, got an approval, and made the final piece with watercolor, colored pencils, and pastel pencils. This was a labor intensive project and took me many weeks from start to finish. Six weeks before the play’s debut I handed over the finished digital, print-ready copy that only needed the final dates and details put in. Then I watched excitedly to see the posters to start showing up in the local shop windows.

They used an AI poster instead.

I can’t begin to describe how sad and embarrassed I still feel about it. I can only assume my work was so terrible that an AI poster was preferable. Or at least that is how it feels because I don’t understand how I could have been so led on and lied to otherwise. I also decided not to offer funding as it was clear there was no interest in hand made posters.

It occurred to me that if my experience of being supplanted by AI happened twice in one year then they probably aren’t isolated events. There are probably other artists who have offered work who have been turned down in favor of AI. I already don’t like AI generated images, but having now seen AI work being favored first hand I have made myself a pledge. If I learn about an event through an AI poster, I will not be attending. I can only assume that an AI advertisement for an event means that AI could have been used in the artwork for sale/ words of the play/ sermon being preached. That might be fine for some people, but I am not interested in what a robot has to say about the human experience.

I don’t know if the AI poster-makers of the world know this, but I was never attending an event because of how amazing the poster was. I would show up because the event looked interesting. I’ll happily show up for events even if the poster is filled with stick figures as long as a human did it. To prove a point, I asked my 1 year old daughter to color for me, then made an example flyer. I would 100% go to an event with this flyer.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. In this last year I have also made logos, etc. for people’s projects who have specifically told me they didn’t want AI near their work. That makes my heart sing. I know that these folks are committing to hand made work without compromise. That is exactly who I want to support.

All in all, it’s a matter of trust. Someone who compromises in one area of their art might be willing to compromise in other areas. It’s not an area I’m willing to compromise in.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. just shared an excellent comic about how creators struggle with and get consumed by the lack of choice with AI.

2. has stitched and painted not just one, but two banners about the negative effects of AI. I have a soft spot in my heart for textiles, so I’m glad to see that art form being used for protesting something that is antithetical to crafting by hand.

More Of My Work

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I’ve been deep into working on a children’s book dummy. (aka, a rough draft of the book). Like most things in my life, it’s taking longer than I expected. Some of that is because of my current health situation. Some of that is because fixing perspective issues on 30+ pages takes eons. So what does one do when they are working on a project that isn’t “the fun part” anymore? If you said, start another project, you would be right!

Sometimes while I’m working I have ideas that come to me. I’ve been making a point to write/draw them out as fast as I can in my sketchbook so I can come back to them. This zine is one such thought. It’s something I wish everybody would do.

Thanks for having a look! Although I used the imagery of Mount Saint Helens as inspiration, I mostly wish that people would watch different news sources to try to determine the truth rather than trust everything the talking heads are saying on one single station. A movie that comes to mind is The Running Man. The Arnold Schwarzeneggar version is a solid film and a good reminder of how the media can twist truth so easily.

If this is an idea you’d like to share, the image below can be downloaded. Just print it out, folded it up, and hand it out. has folding instructions here. This zine is best printed out on a legal sheet of paper, or 14in x 8.5in.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. In the spirit of sharing other neat zines, I want to highlight all the cool zines makes. I have a copy of her Metropolitan Museum of Art zine and it is a favorite. What makes it for me is the commentary about the pieces she found interesting.

2. If you subscribe to ’s she’ll send you zines every few months. Her work is beautiful and the zine is a fun assortment of comics, tutorials, and points of interest in her corner of Ireland.

More Of My Work

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

In my previous letter to you all I talked about how I sent in my entry for the Federal Duck Stamp Contest. I was entry #84 and my hope was to get past the first round. The judges vote “in” or “out” in the first round to decided if you make it to round two. Round two is where points get awarded.

Well, I didn’t make it to round two, but what hurt my feelings about the whole thing was that I didn’t get one “in” vote. Not one! It felt like having five roman emperors give a thumbs down at the colosseum.

I had a little cry before moving on with my day. It wasn’t a complete surprise. The winners are always hyper-realistic and I consider myself an impressionistic painter. Painting hyper realistically isn’t fun for me right now, so unless that changes, I probably won’t enter again. I’m still glad to have given it a go.

I still think my painting was good, so I thought I’d share my process.

The five eligible species this year were the Mottled Duck, Blue-winged Teal, King Eider, Long-Tailed Duck, and Cackling Goose. I chose to paint a Cackling Goose and I chose it for two reasons. 1. I’d seen one, so I felt better equipped to paint it. 2. I could insert a subtle joke.

Anyone who has looked for a Cackling Goose has spent a long time looking at a flock of the similar-looking Canada Geese and asked themselves, “Is that a Cackling Goose or a small Canada Goose?” As such, I decided to paint my Cackling Goose in a flock of Canada Geese. (A Cackling Goose is the size of a Mallard duck, so if you are wondering if you saw it, you probably didn’t. The size difference is obvious.)

I made a bunch of thumbnails that looked mostly identical before choosing one. This normally isn’t a good way to make use of thumbnails. Usually it’s a good way to explore ideas. For this contest I already knew the Cackling Goose needed to be centered, so the thumbnails were more about how to position the other geese.

The next step for me is drawing a digital copy of the drawing. I like being able to rescale items and get really clean lines to use for my watercolor transfer. I often use a light table to trace my lines onto the watercolor paper, but I was using thicker paper, so I colored graphite onto the back of my print out instead and retraced my lines.

At this point I realized that this scene was really complicated and I wasn’t sure where the shadows would lay, so I made a rough maquette to give me a better idea. The better your sculpture, the better your shadow information. I was ok with having a rough idea since the figures were all smooth. I just made sure my geese were oriented to the correct direction of the sun.

Then I made a digital color study. You can’t undo anything with watercolor, so working out my problems digitally makes the painting process more fun.

Except I thought the color study look boring and the idea of making a boring painting bored me, so I tried again. I decided to make the warms and cools stronger. Much better. Although in the final, I abandoned the idea of painting the sunlight in the water. It made the reflections complicated and I was worried it would distract from the star of the show, the Cackling Goose.

I’ve noticed that whenever beginning watercolorist ask how to make their painting better, they have only put down maybe the first layer or two. But the magic of watercolor is the slow build up of layers. For this painting I did something I’ve not done before and lay down warms and cools first. I used Hansa Yellow Deep and Ultramarine Blue.

The next layer was where I started putting the local color of the ducks. (Local color being the color something is when a white light is shined onto it.) I did a wash of Burnt Umber on the bodies and Burnt Umber/Ultramarine mix on the necks.

Once I was happy with the colors being about right, I started adding details and darkening areas. There’s lots of thin washes involved to allow the white of the paper to shine through still.

Then I let the painting sit on my easel for a week or two to decide if it looked about right. Once I was done fiddling with the paint, I used a little bit of colored pencil to smooth out some of the lines and a white pastel pencil to bring back the shine in the goose’s eye.

The whole process took around six weeks, although some of those weeks were spent letting ideas percolate or leaving the painting on the easel and coming by to make small adjustments. I was also tickled that I only used three watercolor colors (manufactured by Daniel Smith): Hansa Yellow Deep, Ultramarine Blue, and Burnt Umber.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. has a really helpful article called, “Why Don’t My Color Mixes Look Like Other Artists’?” Anders does a deep dive on color names versus chemical composition.

2. has a fascinating article about the Ancient Use of Notan. Notan is the idea of balance between positive and negative space, especially in regards to artistic compositions.

More Of My Work

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I have a small announcement before I get into today’s letter. A few years ago I made a goal of submitting a painting to the Federal Duck Stamp Contest. This year I did it! The gallery for all the entries is up and if you are reading this post on September 24th 2026 or September 25th 2026, the judging is live. Otherwise if you click, the links should be a recording of the judging. My goal is to get past the first round of judging which is a pass/fail. Day 2 is where points are awarded. Even though the entries are anonymous, I have felt sick about the whole thing because it feels like failing on a national scale. Past winners look much different than my entry. But you miss all the balls you don’t swing at, so I’ve given it a go.

In keeping with the spirit of wildlife painting, I thought I’d share some of the watercolor sketches I’ve been doing lately at the Cincinnati Zoo. We’ve been visiting frequently on behalf of Bub. She is fond of feeding the giraffes and seeing the elephants. I haven’t painted those guys yet. Instead I’ve painted my favorite creatures, like the Rhinoceros Hornbill!

These guys are so big and the second horn on top of their horn looks like a whole other mouth. I heard people wondering if they, in fact, did have two mouths. I can confirm, it’s only one mouth. Also, you can tell the males and females apart because the males of red eyes and the females have blue ones.

I also painted an Okapi. (Prounounced OH-kapi) These guys are much larger than I thought. I imagined they would be as big as a medium-sized dog. They are more like the size of a giraffe with a short neck, or maybe the size of a large, slim horse. Also, it’s only the males that have horns.

After trying and failing the see the Red Pandas repeatedly, on our last trip three of them were out and about! I painted the one who was napping. I almost didn’t paint them at all, but Connor said after missing them so many times, I should try. While painting, I heard so many people say these guys are never out, so I was happy for Connor’s encouragement. Red Pandas are also larger than I realized. I’d say they are as big as a healthy-sized raccoon rather than the small-dog size I had imagined.

Painting animals is challenging. Every one of these animals moved and in some cases completely out of view, while I was working. It feels like a miracle any time I can finish one of these paintings, but I’m glad it worked out with these three.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. Dan Zettwoch has a really cool zine about the woodpeckers of Eastern North America. Also, he is really cool. I ordered a bunch of zines from him, but in between my order and receiving it he had reprinted the woodpecker zine and included it in my order. Thanks Dan! (See also his great blog post about making a Barred Owl screenprint.)

2. Are you familiar with Nature Journaling? It’s a much more lowkey version of my animal sketches alongside observations. John Muir Laws is a fantastic educator on the subject. His site is full of resources and he has written several great books on the topic including Nature Drawing and Journaling as well as the Laws Guide to Drawing Birds. Both reside in my library.

More Of My Work

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

Connor asked if we had any Halloween books around to share with Bub. He expressed doubt that we had any. HA! He should have known better; I had a pile, but these are my favorites.

10 Little Pumpkins by Gris Grimly

10 Spooky Pumpkins is a countdown book. There are clever rhymes that start at 10 and work their way down to 1 all with lightly spooky characters like goblins and witches. Often times countdown books end at the number one and that is the end of the story. Not this book! One is the moon and he has something to say at the end.

While much of Gris’ work is on the spooky side, this book has a friendlier vibe. His watercolor work is spectacular and I especially love his interpretations of the different halloween characters. Connor’s favorite are the skeletons who looked like folks in sweatsuits while I’m particularly fond of all the expressions the man in the moon has. Very cute!

Cackle Crackle by Annie Atkins, illustrated by Taryn Knight

Cackle Crackle is the newest Halloween book to enter our bookshelves. I often find books based on illustrators I know, but in Cackle Crackle’s case, I was a fan of both the illustrator and the author, who is herself quite the designer. The book is a series of mini vignettes that start with children bringing a problem to a magic-user which is solved effectively. The fun surprise for the audience is the next page contains a letter to the next witch/wizard/druid about how the problem was solved without magic! Each non-magic way the problem is solved makes what could be mythical characters feel more human and real. (A witch with a junk drawer? I feel seen.) At the end we see all the letter writers at The 35th Annual Big Witch convention and how they are actually each powerful magic-users.

Cackle Crackle is full of so many clever ideas. In anyone else’s hands it might be too much, but Atkins has worked in movies where her designs are meant to take the background, so she does a great job making the book cohesive. My only real critique is that the cover shows off Atkin’s work really well, but shortchanges Knight’s illustration style. The book is filled with beautiful watercolors. Each vignette is thoughtfully rendered with a different color palette which gives a wonderful flavor of each kind of magic.

Room On The Broom by Julia Donaldson, illustrated by Axel Scheffler

You just can’t beat Room On The Broom. There’s a friendly witch flying across the sky. Along her trip she loses important items and isn’t able to find them until a friendly creature appears with item in hand asking to join the flight. Eventually there isn’t room on the broom. After a brush with death and a dragon who likes witches with a side of fries, everyone comes together to make more room on the broom.

Even though the text is dense, it dances off the tongue, making even the most tongue-tied person sound good. This was one of the earlier books we read to Bub and she loved the rhythm of it even though at the time she was too young to understand much more about it.

The Witch Next Door by Norman Bridwell

Norman Bridwell is better known for his Clifford The Big Red Dog series, but he wrote a smaller series about this witch. This book has been in and out of print periodically; I found my copy at an estate sale. Even if finding your own copy isn’t as straightforward, I thought this book was too cute not to add.

In this story a witch moves in next door to some children. They comment on how it wasn’t easy to tell she was a witch; she was simply a helpful neighbor. Eventually a pair of bigoted adults tell her to go back to whence she came. She could have turned them into anything, but she makes the mean adults into royalty which gets their minds off of her and their hatefulness. When the kids ask to be changed to royalty too, the witch tell them they are too good for that. This is an absolutely adorable book with a good message that blends into the story in a satisfying way.

Bonus Book

In my last review I talked about It’s Raining Bats and Frogs. I highly recommend that book too.

Do you have a favorite Halloween picture book? I’d love to hear any recommendations!

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. Dennison Manufacturing Company used to sell books on how to make decorations out of the crepe paper they sold. The Bogie Books are a fascinating time capsule of decoration. The 1920 Bogie Book is available to see on the internet archive.

2. Need instructions on how to make a trick or treat pumpkin bag from 100 years ago? Halloween Retrospect has got your back! The same person has a bunch of books about Halloween decorations for sale as well.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

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Common advice we’ve all heard is, “Don’t look for your style. Let it show up.” and “Try lots of things.” When you are on the other side of having found your style, that’s undoubtedly how you got there, but there is a lot of pressure to figure out how to make your art look cohesive when you are trying to get paid for your work. You need to prove you can reproduce a result so that a client can trust you, and all the above advice feels so directionless and time consuming. While it is a lifelong pursuit to find what others will call “your style”, it doesn’t have to be so vague and directionless. Today I want to share not only a way to discover your style, but more importantly, how to find joy while making your art.

What is style?

It’s my belief that style is the intersection of what you like to consume, what you enjoy making, and what you prefer to leave out.

If you are looking to making a living, you’ll also need to add “what the market will pay for” to the diagram. For now, I’m going to leave out what the market is interested in because artists will find more longevity in their career with distinct looking work. Aka: their style.

What do you like to consume?

What subject matter is most interesting to you? It could be fantasy or animals or urban settings. What mediums do you find beautiful? Watercolor, oil, digital, or something else? Are there certain ways of approaching the blank page that stop you in your tracks? Perhaps photo realism is more exciting to you than impressionism.

A caveat is that just because you like looking at something doesn’t mean you will enjoy making it. It’s ok to enjoy art and not have it reflect in your style.

For example, I love Sven Nordqvist’s way of using watercolor and inked lines, but at this point in my life, I don’t find the process of drawing lines and carefully coloring inside them much fun. I prefer to splash the paint around instead.

Findus and Pettson by Sven Nordqvist

What would you rather leave out?

What you don’t like is often easier to determine than what you do like when figuring out your style. Here are some questions to ask yourself.

What parts of the artistic process do you detest and how can you avoid them?

When I was doing my daily comics, I realized that the part I hated the most was the scanning. Even though digital isn’t my favorite way to work, I preferred it to scanning so I switched over to using procreate for all my comics. I also hated drawing comic frames, so I made myself a template that I duplicated for each comic.

What mediums are not for you?

Although I love the look of oil paintings, I am allergic to the solvents, even the alternative solvents like walnut oil. So as much as I love John Singer Sergent’s paintings, I won’t be making work like that.

Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose by John Singer Sergent

In watercolors, I have been trying to keep toxic paints out of my palette as much as possible. I avoid the chromiums and cobalts. I’m in the process of finding an alternative for the one toxic blue I still use. My color palette contributes to my art’s distinct look.

What subjects are not fun to draw?

It’s more fun doing something you are good at, but since no one comes out of the womb good at anything except crying and making diapers, it may take time and effort to develop a artistic skill before you can judge if it is fun or not.

For example, I took a class on figure drawing and even though I became good at it, I didn’t find taking drawings to a finish to be as much fun. I did like drawing portraits, but drawing full realistic figures felt boring. However, I did discover that I enjoyed doing an earlier step in figure drawing: gesture drawings. All the gesture drawing practice helped my figures have more energy in my comics.

Many artists don’t enjoy drawing hands, although it would be difficult to have a whole career without drawing any. It is possible to go through a career and almost entirely avoid drawing feet, though; Mike Mignola of Hellboy fame is known for exactly that. Take a look at his work and look at all the ways he has either artfully hidden feet or drawn them with the least detail possible. It’s really amazing.

Hellboy 30th Anniversary Special Screenprint by Mike Mignola

What do you enjoy making?

I think the hardest question to answer is, “What do I like making?” This is the question artists spend their whole careers trying to answer. Hellboy came about because Mignola was trying to find a way to draw monsters all day. Georgia O’Keeffe had many different artistic periods that included zoomed in views of flowers, bones in desert landscapes, and views from above the clouds.

Blue Flower (1924-1928), Deer’s Skull With Pedernal (1936), Above The Clouds I (1962-1963) by Gerogia O’Keeffe

What makes this question difficult is that the answer is a moving target. Your taste changes over time and so will your style. If your style doesn’t change over time either you never stop loving what you are making, or you become incredibly bored. Staying engaged with your subject matter and medium will inevitably lead to strong work. Here are some questions to ask yourself on your journey of self discovery:

What subject matter is fun to draw?

John Hendrix has a great exercise where you write out 100 things you enjoy enough to draw over and over. This is a good way to find connections between your interests. I found that I gravitate towards drawing animals and fantasy. Drawing animals in a fantasy setting is a great match for me.

The list is also nice to have when you feel stuck on what to draw next.

What mediums do you enjoy working with?

In my attempt to battle my perfectionism, I took up watercolor. I found over time that I really enjoyed all the layering that goes into watercolor. Subtly shifting the color is relaxing to me. Finding new ways to make my paintings look like they are glowing keeps me engaged.

Do you prefer working line-based or form-based?

Line-based tends to look graphic. It relies on strong lines and bigger blocks of color, and feels more 2D. Form-based tends to look more painterly. There is volume created with shifts in value, and tends to look more 3D. While there are plenty of example that blend the two, art tends to lean one way or the other. Below is an example of each. Michelle Morin’s work is strongly line-based while Cynthia Sheppard’s work is fully form based. Alice Neel’s work tends to be form-based in areas she wants to emphasize and line-based in the areas she doesn’t want you to focus on.

Loon and Pine by Michelle Morin, Deconstructing Wonderland by Cynthia Sheppard, Hartley by Alice Neel

Although I draw comics, which is unquestionably line-based, when I paint, I prefer form-based work. The idea of drawing lines and then painting in them sounds like misery to me. I won’t say I never do it, but it’s not how I like to spend my time.

Now What?

Now that we’ve talked about what makes up style, how do you find yours? Here are some strategies.

Make a list!

What artists do you admire? Collect a bunch of images you love, put them all next to each other, and figure out what is similar about them all. Is it the color palette or the medium? Perhaps it is the subject matter. Are the pieces more graphic or are they more painterly? Maybe there is more than one style in your favorites. If that’s the case, see if you can group those images together and find more similarities.

Looking at the watercolor board I keep on pinterest, I can see that I favor animals and landscapes. I like gradients of color and I see that I gravitate toward work that plays with warms and cools. While I’m predominately interested in form over line, when there is line, I’m more interested in keeping it loose.

Try things out!

This is the exciting part. Now that you have a list of artist and mediums you like looking at, you get to try them out.

Some questions to ask are, What paper feels good under your pen/brush/etc.? Does your medium bleed through or curl the paper in a way that’s frustrating? Does the texture of your canvas feel distracting? Try a different paper or canvas. Do you wish your colors blended together better? Find an artist who is working in the medium you like and see what materials and brands they are using.

For my studio watercolor set up, I mostly use Daniel Smith watercolor on Fabriano Artistico hot press paper in extra white with a Da Vinci Petit Gris Pur Quill brush. For small work I’m likely to use a size 1 while for larger work I’ll use a size 4. When I’m doing plein air painting I’m using the size 1 quill brush and a Moleskine Pocket Sketchbook that really isn’t meant for watercolor, but I like anyways. My color palette is currently in flux, so I add a link here one day when it finally settles down.

A word of caution

No one is naturally good at things. Doing one drawing exploring a particular medium isn’t always enough. You need to decide you don’t like it because it feels bad in your hand, not because you feel unskilled.

How Will I Know I Found My Style?

If you feel joy while doing the work and you feel like you’ve revealed a part of yourself to the world when you look at a finished piece, then you have found your style. The mediums you use and subjects you portray may change, but that feeling won’t.

Although selling work is extremely validating, longevity in art is going to come from the joy of making, not the joy of selling.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. There’s an excellent documentary about how Mike Mignola started drawing Hellboy called Drawing Monsters. I highly recommend it.

2. John Hendrix has a new book coming out next month called 100 Things You Love To Draw. I really enjoyed his previous book, Drawing Is Magic: Discovering Yourself In A Sketchbook, so I’m looking forward to reading this one too!

More Of My Work

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

The hike was great. We hiked down, down, down to a waterfall. Then we set out the blanket on the sandy beach before Connor took Bub to play by the waterfall so I could peacefully paint. What luxury! (There were a fair number of people there, but I caught this picture during the 5 seconds that the coast was clear.)

I pulled out my sketchbook and pencil to do a rough drawing.

With the rough drawing done I pulled out my paints, water, sponge, and… there were no brushes. I dug and dug hoping the tube would appear, alas the bag is small and there wasn’t much digging to be done. Since I was 100% sure I packed my brushes, there were only two possibilities. Either my tube of brushes fell out on the trail (unlikely as I typically shove the tube to the bottom of the bag to prevent this from happening), or the tube fell out in the car when we were consolidating our bags for the hike (the most likely scenario). I was left with a decision. Either hike 25 minutes to the car and 25 minutes back to paint the waterfall, or not paint. I didn’t like either of those options so I stared at my remaining equipment trying to materialize a brush by sheer force of will.

That worked! Sort of. I decided that all I really needed was a tool to smear paint around and my pencil eraser looked like the best candidate.

Let’s see that zoomed in a little more. It looks like I’m pointing, but really I’m smearing.

So for 45 minutes I half-grumpily and half-laughingly smeared paint around my paper. I struggled to keep the watercolor paint transparent since the eraser held no water and the only way to make this work was to get my paints so wet that I could squish the eraser into the paint and get a glob onto it. Then I rubbed it around, but not too hard otherwise bits of eraser would come loose and stick to the page.

All in all it’s not a half bad painting. It is at least a testament to how determined I was to paint. Although for the record, I prefer painting with a brush.

As for my brushes, when we got back to the car they were nowhere to be seen. Bub was getting grumpy, so we really didn’t have time to hike the whole loop again. I was also starting to get suspicious that maybe I had, in fact, left my brushes at home. Mercifully I had one bar of service and I used that bar to call my neighbor, who was mercifully home and was able to check my desk for me. I did leave the brushes at home.

Thank you neighbor! We had a far more relaxed drive home knowing I hadn’t left my brushes on the trail somewhere.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I’m in the middle of knitting a Holly Sweater for Bub. I’ve already knit the adult version for myself.

2. I treated myself to a copy of Omar Rayyan’s illustrated version of Christina’s Rosetti’s Goblin Market. I dream of one day being able to buy an original watercolor from him, but for now I sprung for a copy of the book with an original sketch in it.

Order my book at a local bookstore or get it online at bookstore.org.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

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While grocery shopping I saw all the back to school gear and spotted a cheap watercolor set. I passed it by, but got to thinking, could I make a pretty painting with a cheap set? Is it even possible? I went back and spent a little under $3 to find out.

In the interest of trying to only compare the paint, I added some controls. I painted everything in a Strathmore 500 series Mixed Media sketchbook and I committed to only using the brush that came with the cheap set. I started out by making a color chart. The top is the Crayola set, the bottom is the most equivalent Daniel Smith colors I own. I don’t actually have a convenience purple or black, so I painted in the color mix I use instead

Then the real test. I drew two strawberries and tried to paint them as similarly as I could. Can you tell which strawberry was painted with which brand?

If you guessed #1 is Crayola and #2 is Daniel Smith, you would’ve guessed better than me. When I finished I found myself liking the Crayola one better. However, I knew I was at a little bit of a disadvantage because I wasn’t painting in a palette I would’ve normally chosen for myself. I ended up painting a third strawberry using Daniel Smith in colors I would have chosen for myself. (Pyrrol Scarlet, Pyrrol Crimson, Hansa Yellow Deep, Pthalo Green (BS), Ultramarine, and Burnt Umber.)

In the end I surprised myself by still liking the Crayola strawberry the best! I enjoyed painting with Crayola and having a restrictive palette was a fun challenge. In fact the only thing I didn’t like about the set was the paint brush. The cheap brush keep losing hairs and didn’t have the good point I am accustomed to with my quill style brush.

So the big question we are left with is, are expensive paints worth the money? I think so. You get more color options and have a higher degree of control with mixing. If I were to paint a larger composition with something specific in mind, I’m sure I’d get frustrated with the limitations of this palette. What I didn’t expect was that you can paint something attractive with cheap paints too!

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I discovered this week and I am swooning. She is the kind of person I wish lived near me so I could nerd out about whatever latest craft obsession has taken hold. One of her latest interests is making cockaded ribbons. Guys, I want to make a cockaded ribbon now!

2. Did you know there is an antique pattern library? While looking into cockaded ribbon work I discovered this gem. There are many scanned antique craft magazines on this site and you can download them! They only ask that you keep it for personal use.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

Actually, last year I read 180. This year I’m up to nearly 120. Reading that many books has introduced me to some real winners and I wanted to start sharing some that I’ve added to our personal library. (Caveat: this is what I like. Our daughter is pretty young and is still largely reading board books.)

This time the theme is characters with great expressions.

It’s Raining Bats & Frogs by Rebecca Colby, illustrated by Steven Henry

This is a sweet little story of a witch whose spells to change the rain into something else end up not working out the way she intended. The story is good, but the illustrations really shine. This book is a perfect example of how to draw a lot of one subject and make each individual look interesting. The witches all have dark clothes and green skin, but each one still is an individual with different noses, hats, and dress details. Although my favorite page is the one where it starts raining bats and frogs, specifically because of all the expressions the frogs have. They are hilarious! The end pages of the hardback also have many bats and frogs. Steven Henry is a genius.

Lone Wolf Goes To School by Kiah Thomas, illustrated by K-Fai Steele

This book is made up of several short chapters that act as vignettes to an overarching storyline. Each vignette shows us ways that the curmudgeonly lone wolf is being tortured by having any interaction with the world. If ever you’ve just wanted to be left alone, you will feel what lone wolf experiences in your soul. My favorite chapter is where he goes to the beach and tries to work out a compromise with the gulls. It doesn’t work out. The character expressions are where this books shines. The friendly people look obnoxious and the grumpy wolf is perfectly sympathetic, even if he is frowning.

Spider in the Well by Jess Hannigan

The boy in the book goes to fix a wishing well and in the process becomes a blackmailer. Who is good? Who is bad? This book does an amazing job flipping your perceptions of all the characters in the entire story! My favorite moment watching the spider hugging his gold. The spider has no mouth or nose, but you know exactly how he feels in his eyes and posture.

Have a favorite picture book (or two)? I’d love to hear any recommendations you all might have.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. Anny Chen has a really helpful article on planning pages of a picture book. She talks about pacing and how that might inform the way you approach a page.

2. I may have shared this before, but it’s so good I’ll share it again. I love John Hendrix’s illustration of the Pit of Despair. I have a copy hanging over my desk to remind me that nothing you do will ever be as good as it was in your head, and that’s ok.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I know, I know, I know. The phrase is a metaphor about revenge being more satisfying if you take the time to plan and savor it rather than react in the moment. But in the scenario I’m imagining, who is eating the revenge?

If it’s the target of the revenge, the dish is probably mash potatoes. Mash potatoes, like most starches, taste pretty bad cold.

If the person getting vengeance is doing the eating, it’s probably ice cream. Perhaps even an ice cream sundae. Mmm. Definitely best served cold.

Then I got curious about where the phrase even came from. The earliest the phrase as we know it appeared in print was in Eugène Sue’s 1841 work Mathilde: mémoires d’une jeune femme.1

“Et puis la vengeance se mange très-bien froide, comme on dit vulgairement.” or “And so vengeance is best eaten cold, as they vulgarly say.” Although variations of the phrase were seen in earlier works. The phrase “Reuenge is not good in cold bloud.” appeared in Don Quixote; the first part which was published in 1605 and the second part in 1615.

I’ll argue that the best revenge is an agreed upon one, like during a water gun fight on a hot day. In which case, revenge is indeed a dish best served cold.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I came across Annie Atkins’s work and I’m blown away. She makes all the period type props for film, including Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budepest Hotel. I also quite like her prop-based manifesto.

2. I really like ’s post about Dreaming Bigger. I did the exercise with a friend and already one of the dreams I wrote on my list looks like it’s coming true.

Drawing Specs

All drawings were done in a 15 x 23 cm Venezia Book by Fabriano.

Drawing 1: Daniel Smith watercolors in Cobalt Teal Blue, Ultramarine, Naples Yellow, Hansa Yellow Deep, and Yellow Ochre. Faber Castell Polychromos pencils in 143, 156, and 157.

Drawing 2: Daniel Smith watercolors in Cobalt Teal Blue, Ultramarine, Burnt Umber, Pyrrol Scarlet. Sprinkles in Hansa Yellow Deep, Pthalo Green (Blue Shade), Pthalo Blue (Green Shade), Quinacridone Rose, Aussie Red Gold. Faber Castell Polychromos pencils in 121, 130, 143, 156, 157, 194, 283. Generals Charcoal White.

Drawing 3: The lines were made with a Sailor Fude 55° fountain pen using De Atramentis Document Ink in Urban Sienna. Daniel Smith watercolors in Pthalo Blue (Green Shade). Prismacolor Pencils in Neon Orange, Neon Yellow, Neon green, Electric Blue, Ultramarine, and Peacock Green.

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As much fun as it is getting prodded, poked, and measured nearly every week during active breast cancer treatment, I’m finding the hour and a half drives (one way) to my cancer treatment center to be getting tedious. Thankfully Connor is a great adventure buddy, so we’ve started driving the backroads back home looking for interesting things for me to paint. During one of our most recent drives we made a wrong turn exactly when I lost cell service and found ourselves on a back road of a back road. Rather than turn around, we decided to explore a little further.

The one lane road eventually ended by a bridge with a gate. We’d gotten that far, so we crossed the bridge and looked past the gate into a field. In this field was a puddle and in the puddle was a grumpy looking turtle.

“Neat!” I said, and we got into the car and turned to go back. I didn’t know what I was going to paint that day, but half way down the one lane road I realized I needed to paint that turtle. Most turtles in Kentucky are pretty skittish, so having one sitting in the only puddle around seemed like it would stick around for me to paint.

I had no idea what turtle I painted, so when we got home I pulled out my trusty Kentucky Wildlife Encyclopedia (affiliate link) and learned we’d seen an Eastern Box Turtle. I had some additional questions, like was this the only turtle in Kentucky with a red eye? (Yes, it is.) This led to a deep dive on the Eastern Box Turtle.

Some interesting Eastern Box Turtle Facts

1. Not all Eastern Box Turtles have a red eye! It’s most typically seen in males while females typically have brown eyes. There is the odd turtle that bucks the trend.

2. Eastern Box Turtles are poor swimmers, so while they like water, they will drown in water that is too deep.

3. Like a fingerprint, the markings on an Eastern Box Turtle is specific to that turtle.

4. Eastern Box Turtles like where they live and don’t travel very far from that spot. It’s upsetting to them to be away from their home.

5. One of the biggest threats to the Eastern Box Turtle is being taken out of the wild for the pet trade.

After I learned the last two facts, I realized I couldn’t mention the backroad we were on during our adventure. I’d rather not tempt someone into finding that poor turtle and taking it away from home. Also, if you chose to keep an Eastern Box Turtle for a pet, it’s worth looking into if it was taken out of the wild or if it was bred in captivity.

All that to say, if ever you are lucky enough spot an Eastern Box Turtle, enjoy knowing that you will never see a turtle with that coloring again, and if you do, you’ve just seen that same individual.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. makes the most beautiful pop up dollhouse books. I especially love the Magic Mansion. But honestly, they all look pretty magical.

2. I have been enjoying Lis Watkins’s watercolor work. I really enjoyed seeing a behind the scenes on how she gets all that beautiful color in. The secret is in that first wet on wet wash!

Drawing Specs

Drawing 1: Daniel Smith watercolors in a Moleskine 5½ x 3½ art collection sketchbook.

Drawing 2: Daniel Smith Watercolors in Hansa Yellow Deep and Undersea Green minus the turtle eyes which were Pyrrol Red and Yellow Ochre. The outlines were made with a Sailor Fude 55° fountain pen using De Atramentis Document Ink in Urban Sienna. The paper was a 15 x 23 cm Venezia Book by Fabriano.

Drawing 3: Daniel Smith Watercolor in Hansa Yellow Deep and a Faber Castell Polychromos pencil in color 173 Olive Green Yellowish. The outlines were made with a Sailor Fude 40° fountain pen using De Atramentis Document Ink in Brown. The paper was a 15 x 23 cm Venezia Book by Fabriano.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

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Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

It’s been six weeks since my double mastectomy and I’ve been on a mission to feel like myself again, stylistically. My body shape is radically altered and shirts that I used to feel comfortable in are now doing the opposite.

There are some resources out there for those of us who have decided to remain flat after surgery, but none that spoke to me. I thought I might share my thought process of changing styles.

How do you come up with a whole new style? I started by developing some requirements. Just like in art, coming up with a new style is easier if you have some rules to follow.

The Rules

1. The shirts had to be button-ups. I’ve not been a button-up shirt person historically, but I became one because after surgery I couldn’t lift my arms over my head.

2. The shirts didn’t have darts. For those not familiar, darts are sewn lines that are a way to manipulate woven fabric to have more or less volume in certain areas, most typically the bust and the waist in women’s clothing. I have no bust, I need no darts.

3. The shirts had to be made of natural fiber; I can’t stand the feel of synthetics. I especially don’t want to have plastic rubbing on my body all day long.

The Search

With those rules in hand I went to a discount clothing store because there was no way I was going to spend a bazillion dollars on something that might not work out. Finding button-ups with no darts and in a natural fiber at a discount store winnowed down the playing field considerably.

Going through the aisles, I realized that the shirts I was most attracted to were the ones with either bold pattern or stripes. This is a complete 180 from my previous style of wearing plain t-shirts with muted colors; a style I assume I was previously attracted to due to years of being bullied in school and wishing to not attract too much attention. However, cancer has not given me some great epiphany where I realize I wanted to be seen all along. No, no, no. It’s more like I feel that I’m paradoxically able to distract the eye from my chest by wearing big bold bright colors all over my chest.

Also, these are the shirts that tend to end up in the heavily discounted area of the discount store. My thrifty self rejoices.

After picking out six shirts for the low price of not-a-bazillion dollars, I noticed a few similarities between them all.

I was most attracted to patterns that were really big and all over rather than small repeats. I liked colorful, bold prints, but the contrast within those prints were low. ie: I would wear a giraffe print, but not a zebra print. The striped shirts I bought also tended to be low contrast.

Also I found that button-up shirts without darts tend to have a beachy vibe. If I were to summarize my new style, I’d say that I now look like, “the person you’d hire to hunt for buried treasure before I double cross you at the end.”

Bonus Tip

Should you also be looking to wear a big bold print, there is something to keep an eye out for. If any part of the pattern has a large circular motif in it, you should absolutely try on the shirt lest you go home and discover that your brand new outfit looks like you have headlights directly on your chest.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I have been charmed by ’s current comic zine adventure. She is making a 16 page comic a month. She is my kind of crazy. I discovered her a day too late to get the second zine, but I signed up anyways because I’d like her to succeed at this amazing venture.

2. Along with a new clothing style, I’m feeling the urge to branch out in my artistic style. Normally when I paint, I do not use any pen line. That may be changing some, so I’ve ordered some fountain pens to try out. Inspired by ’s post about their favorite tools, I ordered a Lamy Safari. I also ordered a 40° Sailor Fude because everyone and their cousin seems to like it. I will report back.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I’m now 4 weeks out from my double mastectomy. It has been a wild ride. I wasn’t allowed to do very much for a week or so after surgery and I lost a lot of range of motion initially. I was, however, still able to wipe my own bum. Something I’m sure everyone who was helping me post surgery was thankful for.

Going into the surgery was pretty nerve-wracking. It’s not my first surgery. If there were a bingo sheet of procedures, it would look like I’m trying to blackout the whole card. Nevertheless, this procedure was intimidating because it has the most visual impact on my body since I have opted to skip reconstruction and remain flat. I wrote a little comic to get some feelings out two weeks before the big day.

Happily, I made it through. There is a funny story from surgery day I want to share. I was told that I wasn’t going to be able to knit for a few weeks after surgery. This was a problem because I had been working on my “cheer myself up about having no boobs” sweater and I still had half a sleeve left to knit the day of surgery. My big fear was that my gauge would change after surgery and the last bit of sleeve wouldn’t match the rest of the sweater. So I knit like mad during the hour and a half drive to the hospital, but I still wasn’t done. Then I knit like mad while in the waiting room, but I still wasn’t done when they called me back. Then they told me I could knit while they prepped me, but I still wasn’t done. Then I was told they were behind schedule, so I could keep on knitting.

Friends, I kid you not, as they came to wheel me into the operation room I said, “I have four stitches left! Can I finish?” I finished knitting my sweater exactly before my surgery. Someone joked how they didn’t have a code for being a little late because the patient was finishing a sweater.

I’m quite proud of myself. I even managed to keep knitting after they inserted the IV into my hand.

The rest of the day is largely lost to me. I vaguely remember Connor trying to feed me, but my throat was swollen from the breathing tube that had been inserted during the procedure. I managed to get some mashed potatoes down.

I think most people don’t sleep well when they spend a night in the hospital, but those people probably don’t have a young child who shouts in the night every time she turns over. I slept great! I got sent home the next day to recover and I felt mostly ok until the nerve block wore off. It was a little less great after that.

I didn’t get to try on my sweater until recently because I haven’t been able to lift my arms over my head.

I have been very excited to look cute in my new sweater, but I am even more excited to share the results of my pathology. They didn’t find any evidence of cancer in my breast tissue or in the lymph nodes that were taken! I am, as far as we can tell, cancer free.

Now this doesn’t mean I am done with treatment. There is no imaging technology sensitive enough at this point in time to tell if there are any cancer cells that got away and are circulating through my body. If there are, they could settle somewhere new and make me a stage 4 cancer patient, which is every cancer patient’s worst nightmare. My pathology would suggest that the treatment worked, but as insurance I still get to do immunotherapy for the rest of the year and I get to have hormone suppression (ie medically induced menopause) for the next five years. None of that is a fun time, but it is worth it to try to make sure I don’t get a reoccurrence. I also get to be monitored closely for the next five years, although because there is nothing to scan, I get to skip the MRIs and mammograms. Instead I get physical examinations.

Now that it looks like I’m not imminently dying, I’ve gone back to planning projects and developing new hobbies. The future looks brighter indeed!

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. Lost Art Press has so many cool books about, well, lost arts. Even better, they offer many of them free to read on their site! I am working my way through Sharpen This, a book about sharpening tools.

2. I recently came across Babette Cole’s picture books. Or should I say, I came across them again because I remember checking them out from the library as a kid. I bought a copy of The Trouble With Grandad and I was happy to discover that it still lands great as an adult.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I’ve long been frustrated in how I present myself creatively online. There are a number of people who seem to stick to one thing and present it week after week. I applaud them, and until this week, I secretly wanted to be them. You see, I have this bad habit of every time I see someone presenting something online, I assume they are successful in the ways I wish to be successful. ie, They can pay the rent from their interests without feeling beholden to “the man” in a way that sucks all the fun out of things. (Whenever I step back a moment, I do realize that this scenario I’m imaging probably doesn’t exist. Anytime you make something fun a job, it sucks some fun out.)

This week I read ’s post on being multi-focused and how to find a theme that feels focused. After reading her post I had to ask myself, “Are you me?”

What I really want to do is be a reporter on whatever new obsession has taken over my mind. Sometimes these obsessions last days sometimes they last years. This week has been particularly full of them.

Proposal for Jot

This week most of my energy has been directed towards making a proposal for Jot. A big thank you to of See You for sharing this. My proposal involves my many travel journal sketchbooks.

Knitting

I’m knitting a “cheer myself up about surgery” sweater. The pattern is the Rattlesnake dk. Although deciding what size to knit has gotten tricky for me. When knitting a sweater you typically choose based on your bust size. In two weeks I’ll be having a double mastectomy with no reconstruction and won’t really have a traditional bust size anymore. I picked the size based more on waist and hip measurements instead.

Icing cupcakes

Connor’s grandmother’s birthday party was this past weekend and I had some energy, so I went all out on baking desserts. I made a lemon curd cake, chocolate chip cookies, and vanilla cupcakes that Connor’s cousin helped me ice. I had all these piping nozzles from the week I decided to become a dessert expert, but then realized it is much harder than it looks. It turns out that most people showing off their piping skills on social media have been doing it for longer than five minutes.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. ’s current work exploring small town roads at night has entranced me. For those who haven’t been to California, his painting perfectly capture the feeling you have when you roll through a town on the edge of a national park after a long day of exploring.

2. I’m really enjoying the latest The Neighbourhood album, (((((ultraSOUND)))))). The song Zombie is really hitting me hard right now especially since the lyrics relate to social media addiction.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

It’s been about three weeks since my last chemo infusion and I was told I would start feeling better. Connor says that I’m doing a lot better than I was, but I’m still exhausted. Although I have noticed that have longer stints of being active before having to take a break. This week I was able to get to a project that I wasn’t able to finish back in October due to my planned wrist surgery and later my unplanned cancer.

I had been working on making a stamp with a logo for a friend’s farm. Before all this medical nonsense started I had managed to draw a bunch of thumbnails and had gotten feedback on which one to go with. Last week I picked up the final tool I needed: a stamp pad.

It’s been a while since I’ve carved a stamp, but everything started straightforward. I drew a final copy of the logo in pencil, pressed the speedy carve onto it to transfer the pencil onto the speedy carve. Then I carved the pattern out with a tool I’ve had since college and usually use to carve pumpkins for Halloween and realized I hadn’t cleaned very well since the last pumpkin.

I tested the print out a few times and refined the edges a little before going to my trusty spare wood pile in the basement (because the one in the garage has been thoroughly spoiled by raccoons) and found the perfect piece. I chopped a bit off without chopping myself this time. Then I sanded both the edges of the wood block and my thumb knuckle. Perfect.

The next step was stamping the design onto the woodblock before using some super glue to attach the block to the wood and laying some weight on it. An hour later the project was done. I spent the rest of the day showing it off to anyone who crossed my path… and that’s when it all went wrong.

Both my father-in-law and my brother did not see the cow in the logo at first. This is a problem because a logo should be easily read and instantly recognizable. I could have ignored their feedback, but I figured my father-in-law might have some good insight on this since he raises cows.

What to do? I didn’t want to start over and the only way to fix an existing stamp is to carve more. I ended up taking a pencil and coloring over some of the stamp to neaten up the lines to give the cow a better silhouette. A few test stamps later and some positive feedback later and I was ready to call it done. However, I wanted to make sure the picture on the wood reflected the stamp being stamped and annoyingly I had done a fantastic job gluing the stamp to the wood.

They say laziness is the mother of invention and I was feeling lazy. I didn’t want to start over so instead I sanded the ink off the wood to match the stamp, this time without sanding any fingers.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I came across an interesting printmaking magazine called Pressing Matters. I was most interested in a physical copy Issue 28, which is out of print. Luckily I found a copy on eBay. I’m just waiting for it to arrive in my mailbox now. Issue 28 is still available as a digital download.

2. of Taxonomy Press has a really beautiful riso print newsletter called the Floral Observer. I discovered it a few days after their yearly subscription closed, but it looks like it’s possible to get single issues!

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

It’s been a long 18 weeks, but I had my final chemo infusion this week. Connor and I had a funny moment when we arrived. There was an unusually large amount of parking and I remarked, “Either everyone is cured or everyone has died.” To which Connor responded, “Or we are hear a little earlier than usual.” I suppose that could also be a possibility.

The center I go to has a bell you can ring when you finish. I didn’t know if that was an option for me since I’m still going to be going for immunotherapy, but they said finishing chemo totally counted and I could ring it if I wanted. I said, “You never know how far you’ll make it in this journey, so I’d better ring the bell any chance I get.”

Once I finished my infusion they made an announcement to the whole unit and a bunch of nurses lined the hall; many I knew and many I didn’t. It’s a large infusion center. They all cheered loudly as I lightly jogged down to the bell. I felt like Rocky.

Recently I’ve been trying out continuous contour drawing. It’s been relaxing.

I didn’t know how’d I’d feel in the moment, but I ended up crying a little. This has been such a hard journey. It’s not over and I don’t really know what the end will look like for me, but in that moment it was really nice to feel celebrated.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

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Last month the annual comic celebration known as “Hourly Comic Day” took place. The idea is that you draw a comic for each hour of the day you are awake. It’s mostly mundane, which has become magical to see since we live in a day and age where everyone pretends their life is interesting all the time and presents it as such.

Recovering from chemo is rather boring business, it turns out. I spent most of the day exhausted on the couch.

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. Haven’t got your fill of hourlies yet? Check out 2026 Hourlies by , 2026 Hourlies by , 2026 Hourlies by , and 2026 Hourlies by .

2. I’ve joined in hourly comic day every year since 2019. I used to post on instagram, but the last few years have been on substack. Here’s 2024 and 2025.

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Thank you so much to those who reached out after my last post. I wasn’t able to reply, but I’ve seen them all and felt loved.

When I last wrote to you I’d been newly diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time I was still getting scans to see if it had spread to my brain and other parts of my body. It was a really scary time. Thankfully those scans were clean. I was still diagnosed with a stage three breast cancer, which is still scary.

I started a cancer diary, but I still haven’t decided if the sun should smile, frown, or look like it’s screaming.

I am now over 2/3 of the way through neoadjuvant chemo (aka chemo before surgery). I’m not going to lie, it’s been rough. I had all sorts of bonus side effects that took two months to get under control. I’m three months into treatment and I still have down days, but they have become predictable. All going well, I have one more month of weekly infusions, then I get a little break to recover before having surgery. Depending on what they find during surgery will determine my treatment going forward.

That all being said, when I started chemo at the beginning of December, I got really depressed seeing everyone start talking about their hopes and goals for the new year. I wasn’t sure what my future held other than treatment. Now that I’m having predictable good days and I know the odds are good that I’m going to get through this, I’ve been able dream about the future again and reflect about the past year.

Some Good Things That Happened In 2025

I became a mom! I wasn’t someone who grew up wanting to be a mom, so I wasn’t sure how I’d do at it. It turns out, I love it. Bub is exactly the kid for me. Although I wouldn’t be able to do it without all the wonderful support I’ve gotten from our extended family.

I joined a small children’s book critique group. Despite knowing me for such a short time, these lovely ladies have accommodated me during my cancer diagnosis and let it be no big deal. It made me feel like a human rather than a cancer patient, which I will always appreciate.

I got into Gallery Nucleus’s Power In Numbers show. Bullfrog Brand Fly-Catcher happens to still be looking for its forever home.

I was able to go to a friend’s wedding in Washington state. While Connor and I were there we also got to go birding, visit the Spincycle Yarns brick and mortar store (a bucket list item for me) and buy a whole pile of books at Henderson’s, Kingfisher Bookstore, and the Coupeville, WA library sale.

I read 180 children’s books and 14 non children’s books, including the giant final book of the Stormlight Archive.

Some Wishes For 2026 And Beyond

I’d like to collect all 10 years of my comics into a book or two, so I and anyone else who wants to can have a physical copy.

I’d like to get commissioned to make at least one Magic: The Gathering card. I had revamped my website and submitted my portfolio to Wizards of the Coast just before my diagnosis. They haven’t called yet, so I need to keep making pieces for my portfolio.

My spelt appears to have survived being under ice for over two weeks. It’s looking likely that it’ll make it to harvest and I’ll be able to make the straw hat I was talking about back in September.

I’d like to try to have one finished dummy book for one of the children’s book stories I’m working on. I had been working on one before cancer so rudely interrupted me.

Before my diagnosis, I had contemplated starting a second newsletter about knitting and knitwear design. I think I’d still like to do that at some point, even if it isn’t this year.

This Newsletter Going Forward

I’d still like to keep writing here, although for now my limited energy is going to keep me from doing it weekly. And as I evolve, what I write about is understandably going to evolve. I still want to share comics, but maybe not as intensively as I have in the past.

I was really inspired by ’s recent post The Self Appointed Writing Residency. In it she talks about pretending that you are writing a column for a newspaper. The goal is to write 700-1000 words and find a place to share it. When you are done with a topic, you end the column and start a new one.

Although I don’t want to make this place all about cancer, that is what is going on in my life right now. I’ve thought about writing a column about what it is like to have cancer, what it’s like to be in treatment. I came into it thinking that most breast cancer patients don’t make it. When I was growing up I saw people going through years of treatment and still not surviving or thriving, but treatments have come so far forward that even stage 4 patients are starting to be treated as if they have a chronic disease, like diabetes. Research is being done to not only end cancer, but also how to make treatments more tolerable.

In Summary

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! Although I struggle to get back to people right now, just know that I have appreciated being reached out to. Cancer is an isolating experience. When I’m low, I re-read messages and comments and it helps remind me that there are people who care if I make it through this. Thank you.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

I’m putting aside everything I have on my plate, including this newsletter, so I can concentrate on getting better. Although I have an aggressive form of cancer, it also is extremely treatable. I hope one day I’ll be able to share stories again. And if not, it’s been a pleasure sharing my comics with you all.

Warmly, Audry

A comic from this year that has turned out to be slightly ironic: I had donated my hair to make wigs for cancer patients.

Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com

All going well, over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing the Yuletide Tea story here, which will line up perfectly with a Christmas ending!

A Few Obsessions From This Week

1. I recently bought a bunch of zines by Dan Zettwoch. Boy is his work neat! His combination of typography and visuals is a feast for the eyes. I especially like the zine on woodpeckers. He also maintains a blog that is quite inspiring.

2. I am enchanted by Natalya Balnova’s silkscreened zines. The Marie Antoinette Guillotine Letter shows a real mastery in a limited pallet.

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Ready to read more comics? Check out audrywithoutane.com

Interested in what other projects Audry is involved with? Go to audrynicklin.com

Enjoy knitting? Visit Audry’s knitting pattern site at bear-ears.com