I’m really glad you’re here. Truly. I’ve had the privilege and joy of connecting with many of you through workshops and speaking gigs, classes I’ve taught, maybe an IG reel or two that have gotten some love. However you came to this space, I imagine it’s because something I’ve shared with you has resonated and you’re curious to learn more about what I tend to go on and on about - social emotional fluency.

Did you know there are actual, very well-researched competencies that we can develop through simple skill building and these competencies are what most, if not all, school social emotional learning (SEL) curriculum is based on and most adults have no clue they exist!

And want to know what’s even more wild than that? We (gens x, y, z, millennials, boomers, etc.) never got this education and it shows in how things are going for us (not well a lot of the time).

We’ve all been just moving through life on a wing and a prayer and we could have had a roadmap all along…

Here’s what I believe to be true…That most of life’s chaos stems from two things - a lack of essential social-emotional skills and systems built by people who never developed them. Unskilled humans create dysfunctional everything: families, workplaces, schools, institutions, societies. What I know to be my life’s work is to help you break that cycle in your own life and ripple it outward.

So I created the Where To Begin Community - an online membership where I teach and coach you through developing social-emotional fluency. This is where we wrestle with the messiness of life. Not to fix it neatly or perform wellness for the algorithm, but to develop the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that help us navigate it differently and better - individually and communally.

Creating this space has been an interesting journey for me. When I was getting ready to launch the community, I had the thought that I needed to have this whole brilliant marketing plan to get this out to all the people. I was going to show up in your inbox several times a week, post every day on IG and Linkedin, you get the idea. Then I realized I was in an old pattern of trying to convince people they need this incredible skillset that will help them be more mental, emotional, relationally and even physically well. I’m not in the business of doing that anymore.

The people that are meant to be in the community will be there. I don’t need to convince you to be in the space. I want you there if you feel a ping to do so. I want you there if you’ve encountered what I teach in some way and thought, “Oh! This is fucked up we haven’t learned these things and I want to know more (or some version of that)…”. 🙂

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That’s it! Nothing fancy, just good old fashioned show up if it lights you up kind of energy. You can find out more on my website, on IG/FB and you’re welcome to reply to this email and ask me any questions you have after checking it out. The monthly membership is $49 per household and there’s a coupon code for 50% off in the checkout that anyone has access to if $49 is a strain on your budget. I trust you to choose the option that works for you and if you need more of a discount, just let me know.

I’m going to be pouring a lot of energy into building a true learning community that I believe has the potential to shift the trajectory of our individual lives and communities on a massive scale. It’s a big dream and I’m okay with that. If that’s your jam too, I can’t wait to connect with you in that space so we can make social emotional fluency and humanKINDNESS our b*tch! ; )

xoxo Cher

PS THE FIRST COMMUNITY CALL IS OCTOBER 1, 2026 SO FOLLOW THAT PING SOONER RATHER THAN LATER!

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I’m talking about the grief, the job change, the betrayal, the health crisis, the “this can’t be happening” moments that felt like the end of everything.

In those moments, none of this sounded true. All I could see was the wreckage.

But time has a way of showing us the map we couldn’t see while we were in the storm. Many of the things that crushed me at the time became the very things that pivoted me toward something better. Something truer. Something that fits me more.

If I chose it.

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: This doesn’t happen automatically. The tragedy doesn’t just “turn into gold.” I had to choose to look at it differently. I had to sit in the discomfort long enough to ask, “What is this trying to teach me? Where is there a door here I haven’t seen yet?”

This is not ”Everything happens for a reason!”. It’s about agency. It’s about saying:

“This thing hurt. But I am not going to let it be the end of my story. I am going to find my way through it.”

Not everyone will choose this and some pain stays as just pain. That’s okay too. But when you can choose to see the pivot point, something shifts. You stop being the victim of your circumstances and start being the author of your next chapter.

If you’re in the wreckage right now: I believe you will find your turn. And when you do, you’ll look back and realize the pain wasn’t the destination - it was the doorway.

Where did a hard thing lead you somewhere beautiful?

Much Love,

Cher

But here is the hard, beautiful truth: You can be stable and safe even when you are emotionally messy. Even when things aren’t perfect.

Stability isn’t the absence of chaos. It’s the ability to stay anchored within the storm.

It’s knowing that even when you’re crying in the shower, overwhelmed by work, or feeling utterly lost, you are still safe. You are still held. You are still worthy.

I’m learning (and relearning) that my worth isn’t tied to how “together” I appear. My safety doesn’t vanish just because I’m having a hard day. In fact, some of my most grounded moments have come when I stopped trying to hide the mess and just let myself be human.

If you are feeling messy today, please hear this:

✅ You don’t need to fix yourself to be loved.

✅ You don’t need to be “good” to be safe.

✅ You are allowed to be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time.

Stability isn’t a straight line. It’s a deep breath taken right in the middle of the whirlwind. It’s saying, “I am here, I am messy and I am still okay.”

Let’s normalize leaning into our humanity. Let’s normalize the healing that happens in the cracks.

How are you showing up for yourself today, messy parts and all?

Much Love,

Cher

We keep the relationship that drains us because it’s familiar. We keep the job that stifles us because it pays the bills. We keep the old story because the unknown feels too terrifying to face.

But here is the truth: A placeholder is not enough. It’s just a stand-in for what we actually want. It’s a barrier between you and the life you know is possible.

Letting go isn’t just about ending something; it’s about clearing space.

When you release what no longer serves you in the face of uncertainty, you are making the ultimate declaration: “I trust myself.”

You are trusting that you will survive the void. You are trusting that something better is coming. You are trusting that you don’t need to fill every inch of your life with the “safe” stuff to be okay.

And here is the secret: Clearing that space invites magic. ✨

Magic cannot enter a room that is already packed with furniture you’re afraid to move. When you make space, you create a vacuum that the universe rushes to fill with the very things you’ve been waiting for.

So today, I invite you to ask: What am I holding onto just as a placeholder?

And then, take one brave step to clear it. Trust yourself enough to leave the gap open. The magic is on its way.

Where are you being asked to let go of a placeholder right now?

Much Love,

Cher

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But I have a different question for you today:

What if what you want to experience is on the other side of taking a risk?

Not the risk of failing. But the risk of caring.

Specifically, the risk of caring for your people (your family, your team, your friends) in new and better ways. Ways that don’t just tolerate their existence, but actively honor and develop their humanity.

Maybe that means:

• Admitting you don’t have the answer.

• Asking someone how they really are and staying until you hear the truth.

• Prioritizing a relationship over a deadline.

• Learning (and unlearning) how to be in relationship with each other.

• Letting someone see your own cracks.

It feels risky because it exposes you. It feels scary because you can’t control the outcome. But it is the only path to the depth we all crave.

If you keep playing it safe, you get safety. If you take the risk of radical care, you might just find the connection you’ve been searching for.

I invite you to take one small risk today. Care a little louder. Honor a little deeper. See what waits on the other side.

Much Love,

Cher

What if we stopped looking at the lock?

What if we asked: “What is possible instead?”

This isn’t toxic positivity. It isn’t pretending the lock isn’t there. It is a deliberate cognitive pivot.

When we ask “What are the barriers?”, we reinforce the wall. We give the obstacle power. We define ourselves by what we can’t do.

But when we ask “What is possible?”, we activate our creative engine. We stop being victims of our circumstances and become architects of the future.

• “My relationship feels stuck.” → Barrier: “They won’t listen.”

  Possible: “What is possible if I change how I speak to my partner?”

• “The market is shrinking.” → Barrier: “There’s no demand.”

  Possible: “What is possible if we serve a different need?”

• “I’m overwhelmed.” → Barrier: “Too much to do.”

  Possible: “What is possible if I say ‘no’ to one thing today?”

The answer to “What is possible?” is rarely easy. It requires courage. But it is always more interesting than the complaint.

Challenge: Today, catch yourself asking about a barrier. Pause. And then ask, “What is possible instead?”

See where the question takes you.

With Love,

Cher

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When I was six years old, I had a ruptured appendix that led to sepsis and gangrene. I was in the hospital for almost two months. I missed most of first grade and my math skills showed it bigtime. : )

Fast forward to today: I’m living with endometriosis, Hashimoto’s, I’ve had a dozen or more significant surgeries and often experience chronic pain that feels like a constant, unwelcome roommate.

I know what it feels like when your body feels like it’s working against you. And I see so many of you - my clients, my friends, my family - navigating the echoes of your own trauma and even your ancestors’, living right inside your physical flesh.

For a long time, I thought my body was the enemy. I thought it was betraying me.

That narrative? It was bullshit.

Here is the truth I’ve had to fight for, the practices that have actually improved my health and the work I’m still doing every damn day:

1. Feel the fucking feelings. I know, I know. It’s the last thing you want to do when you’re in pain. But those pain signals? They are often clever distractions. They are the body’s way of screaming, “Hey, remember that trauma from 20 years ago? Let’s talk about THAT instead of this ache in my hip.” When I stop running and actually go towards those uncomfortable feelings, the processing happens. The body doesn’t need to send the signal anymore because the message has been heard.

2. I use the Journalspeak protocol. If you haven’t read Mind Your Body by Nichole Sachs, go buy it. Read it. Do the work. The Journalspeak protocol is the single most effective tool I’ve found to untangle the knot of physical pain and emotional history. It’s not woo-woo; it’s good work.

3. I shifted the story. I stopped saying, “My body betrays me.” I started saying, “My body speaks to me.” And then I practice saying, out loud, to my own reflection: “I’m here. I love you. And I’m listening.” It sounds cheesy until you do it when you’re in agony. Then it sounds like salvation.

4. Decolonize your mind and body. This shit is insidious. We are taught to hate our bodies, to punish them, to view them as objects to be fixed. That narrative is colonial garbage. It shows up in how we think, how we feel and how we treat ourselves. We have to actively decolonize that space to find peace.

I’m still working on it. I’m not “cured.” But I am here. I am listening. And that makes all the difference.

If you’re navigating chronic pain: You are not broken. You are communicating.

I hope something good happens to you today.

xoxo

Cher

When I recently spoke with someone I care deeply about, I shared with her the words my friend Sundari had said to me just that morning: “I believe in the magic of things.” And because our brains often push back on such strong statements as “I believe” it can be helpful to add the words “I choose to believe”.

Notice the word choose.

If you say “I believe,” it implies a state of being that you either have or you don’t. But if you say “I choose to believe,” you are acknowledging the struggle. You are admitting that the default setting of the world right now is cynicism, fear and the very real discomfort of seeing harm.

This is the work.

It is the protagonist’s work.

Every great story has a protagonist. Whether it’s a hero in a fantasy epic or a quiet character in a literary drama, there is almost always a moment where the narrative hinges on a single, defiant choice: The choice to believe in the magic of things.

In fiction, this belief is often the weapon that defeats the darkness. But in real life, we rarely call it “magic.” We call it “hope,” “resilience” or “faith.” And often, we are told that believing in these things is a form of spiritual bypassing - a way to ignore the pain, the injustice and the sheer discomfort of the human experience.

I want to challenge that.

Choosing to believe in the magic of things is not about ignoring the discomfort. It is not about pretending the world isn’t broken or that the people who hurt us didn’t do so. It is not a passive wish.

It is an active, effortful and empowering practice.

• It is the effort to look at a person who looks nothing like you, sounds nothing like you and thinks nothing like you and choose to see the magic in their humanity.

• It is the effort to sit with the discomfort of a difficult conversation and choose to believe that connection is still possible.

• It is the effort to face the harm, division and pain of existing in the world and choosing to pour energy into the magic of the solution, the healing and the bridge.

• It is the effort to embrace your own magic; the special formula that only you can bring to life through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

This isn’t bypassing. Bypassing is running away from the pain. Choosing magic is walking straight through the pain with a lantern in your hand.

It requires you to do the hard work of unlearning unhelpful thought and behavior patterns and learning what the magic actually looks like, sounds like and feels like. It requires you to study the stories of resilience. It requires you to practice seeing the light in the dark, even when your eyes are stinging from the smoke.

It is effortful. It is sometimes exhausting. And it is the most empowering and energizing thing you can do.

Because when we stop choosing to see the magic, we stop seeing the humanity in each other. And that is where the real harm begins.

So, I invite you to make the choice today. Not because it’s easy. Not because the world is perfect. But because the story of our lives depends on a protagonist who refuses to let the darkness have the final word.

I choose to believe in the magic of things. What are you choosing to believe in today? Send this post to someone who needs to be reminded they can choose to believe in the magic of things even during tricky life experiences…

P.S. Sundari Malcolm is a phenomenal human and I highly recommend you check out her body of work and engage with her and it! You can also listen to episode #66 of my podcast that features her.

I gotta say… the last six months have been a wild, beautiful and exhausting ride. I’m navigating the profound shifts of divorce after an almost 30-year marriage while simultaneously launching four adult kids into the world. I’ve traded my office for airports, going anywhere from Thailand and Australia to Tennessee, Washington and South Africa. On stage, I’ve keynoted at the Lihn Law Symposium and taught workshops for the National Institute of Flamenco and Prevent Child Abuse AZ; in my office, I’ve sat with therapy clients as we navigate the heavy weight of individual and world experiences.

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It’s a lot of layers, all stacked on top of each other, just like yours. And somehow, we’re living all of this while riding the AI bullet train. 🚄💨 It’s fast, efficient and changing everything. But here’s what I choose to believe: The faster the tech moves, the more we need to double down on developing our humanity. Because no algorithm can navigate the beautiful complexity of a life like ours.

You and I connected at some point because you value the human element too - the messy, imperfect, deeply relational work that makes life worth living. That’s exactly what we focus on here. Click through for some of my previous posts and see if you want to keep sticking around!

Cross-Pollination: Why Staying in Our Lane Holds Us Back

All Behavior Makes Sense In Context…So What Do We Do With That?

Train Yourself For The Unexpected

Please say hi every once in a while (I read every one!), or just settle in. Let’s figure out how to live, lead and parent with more heart in a world that’s rushing toward the artificial.

Here’s to us, and to staying wonderfully, stubbornly human.

With Love,

C.

LATEST FAVORITES:

My new AMEX card - Hustling to earn more points for more travel! 🤣 What’s your favorite pro tip for making trips happen?

I’m not a regular listener to this podcast but this episode sent to me by a friend really hit. More delight and the continual process of unknowing ourselves and others please!

I recently joined the board for the Arizona Center For Youth Resources (ACYR) and I’m all in to this incredible organization and school that supports people in getting their high school diploma and on a better pathway to a career. When individuals in the community do well, we all do. What organization/voluteering do you want to shout out in the comments?

This song is on repeat. Enjoy!

Traveled solo for a month.

Lost relationships.

Built new ones.

Made mistakes.

And guess what? I was okay.

The season four finale of Make Discomfort Your Bitch is about walking new paths — and learning not to let your most reactive parts decide they're wrong just because they're uncomfortable.

New chapter? No.

New book.

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

In this episode, I sit down with Rabbi Melinda Bernstein, a freelance rabbi and spiritual guide, to explore how life's hardest moments can become pathways to deeper faith and connection.

Together, we talk about what it means to hold paradox — grief and gratitude, faith and frustration, surrender and strength — and how the path to resilience often asks us to soften rather than strive.

If you've ever wrestled with your beliefs, questioned what's next, or felt the ache of spiritual exhaustion, this conversation is for you. It's an invitation to rediscover faith not as certainty, but as a living, breathing practice of returning — again and again — to presence and wholeness.

MORE ABOUT MELINDA:

Melinda Bernstein is a freelance rabbi, ceremonialist, and embodiment teacher who guides people through life's most intimate thresholds — grief, love, loss, identity shifts, and spiritual awakening. Drawing from Jewish wisdom, Kabbalah, trauma-informed practice, and decades of lived experience, she helps others meet discomfort without collapsing or hardening. Her work centers on nervous system repair, emotional maturity, and returning to wholeness through grounded presence rather than performance. Discover more: MelindaBernstein.com

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MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

In this episode, I sit down with Kat Conrad, a leadership consultant and incredible human, for a deep and practical conversation about what it really means to develop self-awareness. Together, we explore how reconnecting with our bodies opens access to the wisdom, grounding, and connection we so often try to find through overthinking or overdoing.

Kat shares powerful tools and insights to help us slow down, tune in, and trust the messages our bodies are sending—so we can move through the world with more presence, agency, and compassion.

If you've been craving a more integrated, sustainable way to lead, live, and relate, this conversation is your invitation to come home to yourself.

MORE ABOUT KAT:

After two decades in executive roles and advising over 100 CEOs, I founded Katalyst Consulting around the simple truth that bigger awareness creates better business. I show small business leaders that mindfulness isn't separate from strategy—it IS strategy. My first awakening came while managing multiple teams during explosive growth in hospitality. Despite outward success, I was so burned out that my hair started falling out in patches as my body literally rejected the relentless pace and constant chaos. When my business coach Janice introduced me to mindfulness and energy management, it was like finding the operating manual I never knew was available. I discovered that sustainable success in business doesn't just require strategy and systems; it demands leaders who are self-aware, present, and grounded. Today, I help small business owners untangle overwhelming challenges and build pathways towards their goals. Through my signature CLEAR Method, I blend strategic consulting with mindfulness coaching, guiding clients to replace chaos with clarity, turn endless workweeks into focused productivity, and build organizations where people enjoy showing up and success stops feeling like such a struggle. I've always been the natural organizer and problem-solver, from mediating playground disputes to unraveling complex business challenges. Now I use that gift to help CEOs optimize their businesses from the inside out to achieve the growth they want while keeping their sanity and values intact. Website: https://www.mykatalystservices.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-conrad-phx/

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

In this episode, I sit down with Venus O'Hara—sexual wellness educator, author, podcaster, and creative force—to explore what it really means to allow ourselves to be transformed by life. We talk about the unease that comes with shedding old identities, leaving familiar structures, and choosing pleasure, presence, and aliveness over control. From navigating reinvention as a solopreneur to trusting the body as a source of wisdom, this conversation invites a deeper relationship with discomfort—not as something to fix, but as something to listen to.

If you're standing at the edge of change, feeling the stretch of becoming, or sensing that your body knows more than your mind is ready to admit, this episode is an invitation to soften, stay, and let yourself be changed.

MORE ABOUT VENUS:

I create content on sexual wellness and healthy living via YouTube, my podcast, and my website. As a solopreneur, I collaborate with editors, designers, and VAs to bring my vision to life. In 2009, I left luxury real estate and launched VenusOHara.org, which led to three published books and international media features in The Guardian, El País, Catalunya Radio and more. Since 2010, I've also worked as a commercial actress and model in global campaigns for Volkswagen, Ikea, FIFA, Sprite, and Pfizer.

My collaborations with leading sexual wellness brands began in 2014. Today, I produce educational content, consult on sex tech, and develop products and wellness apps. I host The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast (top 5% globally) and create ASMR meditations on Insight Timer. My latest book, Orgasmic Manifestation, has been featured in El País, Apple News, Grazia UK, and Bustle. Currently, I focus on courses, digital products, coaching, and pleasure education.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/venusohara/

https://www.instagram.com/venusohara/

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

I’m Cher. I’m a mental health clinician, speaker, parent coach and mom of four adult kids (hence the parenting tips here and there) and I help people build the foundational self-awareness and self-regulation skills that make real change possible. When we get to the root of our issues by learning to shift what we think, feel, say and do, we stop playing whack-a-mole with the patterns that keep us stuck, playing small and disconnected.

Here’s the thing most people don’t want to admit: we don’t struggle because we’re broken (I really hate that term referring to people) or unmotivated - we struggle because we were never taught the skills to actually be well. You’re not lazy or unkind. You’re unskilled and it’s not your fault. Knowing what helps and doing what helps are two very different things and that gap costs us mentally, emotionally, relationally and even physically.

This work isn’t complicated, but it is uncomfortable - and it works. This is a space to get honest about the skills you never learned, practice doing things differently and move from insight to action. No fluff. No bypassing (can we please stop trying to skip the discomfort and make it our b*tch instead?!!). Just tools that help you live the life you say you want. I’m really glad you’re here.

Connect with me beyond Substack:
🎙️ Make Discomfort Your B*tch Podcast
📸 Instagram
🎤 Speaking & Workshops

We talk about everything — from his journey through a cancer diagnosis, to the realities of working in DEI in today's world, to his powerful story of faith deconstruction and how it shapes the way he moves through discomfort.

It's one of those conversations that doesn't tie things up neatly — it opens them. We explore identity, growth, courage, and what it really means to stay human when life tests you.

It's raw, rich, and full of the kind of insights that stay with you long after listening.

MORE ABOUT COREY:

I'm a 47 year old cancer survivor, husband and father spending my time contending for a better world. Instagram: @coreyevanleak

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

In this episode, I sit down with Maria Brewer, former U.S. Ambassador and longtime State Department leader, for a deeply human conversation about what it means to navigate spaces where you don't always see yourself reflected.

We talk about the power of naming the uncomfortable, how to reality-check your experiences when things feel unclear or isolating, and the importance of bringing what's subconscious into awareness so you can coach yourself through challenging moments instead of getting stuck in them.

Maria shares candid reflections from her diplomatic career — the courage it took to stay grounded in her values, to lead with integrity, and to find belonging even when she was breaking new ground.

If you've ever found yourself in spaces where you felt like the "only," or if you're learning to move through discomfort with self-awareness and strength, this conversation is a masterclass in resilience, authenticity, and emotional intelligence.

MORE ABOUT MARIA:

Accomplished global leader and twice-confirmed U.S. Ambassador with 29 years of distinguished Foreign Service experience. Now leveraging expertise in leadership and executive coaching to help individuals "Bloom Where Planted" by navigating challenges, seizing opportunities, and achieving lasting impact.

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/maria-brewer-b100m Website: https://paperbell.me/maria-brewer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BrewerCoachingServices

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

A Healing Doula Academy Winter Scholarship In honor of Anandi Malcolm, A Healing Doula Academy is offering one Full and one Partial Scholarship for its Winter Cohort. Founded by her daughter, Grief & Death Doula and Author Sundari Malcolm, this spiritually rooted training prepares Grief and Death Doulas to hold space through ancient ritual, modern grief care, and soul-centered guidance. Recipients will receive lifetime access to the Academy's online, and self-paced, certification program and a personal mentorship session with Sundari.

• Apply by November 15th

• Recipients announced November 17th

• Learn more & apply

Feel free to reach out to Sundari at info@ahealingdoula.com with any questions! Now for our scheduled programming...

In this week's episode, I sit down with the luminous Sundari Malcolm - grief expert, author of Grief Gems, and founder of A Healing Doula Academy - to explore what it really means to quiet our lives and listen for our own wisdom, especially in seasons of grief.

Sundari shares how grief can untether us from who we thought we were—and how simple, ancestral practices can anchor us back to ourselves. Together, we talk about why stillness isn't avoidance, but an act of deep care, and how tending to grief can become a portal to transformation, freedom, and truth.

If you've ever wondered how to hold yourself through loss - or how to begin again - this conversation will meet you where you are.

MORE ABOUT SUNDARI:

Sundari Malcolm is the founder of A Healing Doula Academy, an online training program for Grief and Death Doulas rooted in ancient ritual, spiritual wisdom, and intuitive care. She is the author of Grief Gems and a recognized Grief Expert with the For Grief Speakers Bureau.

A lifelong practitioner of spiritual care, ancestral healing, and ritual, Sundari's work is informed by both personal loss and deep spiritual lineage. At 27, after nearly a decade as her mother's caregiver, she lost her to breast cancer. Four years later, she lost her father to brain cancer. These profound experiences transformed her path and ignited her devotion to guiding others through death, grief, and the rebirth that follows.

Today, Sundari has trained and mentored grief and death doulas around the world, offering a lineage-based approach that honors cross-cultural traditions, sacred ceremony, and intuitive energy care. Her teachings blend reverence for the ancestors with practical tools for navigating life's thresholds.

A Healing Doula Academy, an online training program for Grief and Death Doulas rooted in ancient ritual, spiritual wisdom, and intuitive care

Author of the book Grief Gems and a Grief expert with the For Grief Speakers Bureau.

BIPOC Grief Educator for The Dinner Party.

Instragram

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

What if the moments that break us open are the same ones that reveal our deepest creative power?

In this episode, I sit down with Sarah Carter and Corinne Shark, authors of The Skies Are Full of Us and hosts of the Spiritual Pyros podcast, for a luminous conversation about the arc of life we all travel — ruin, rise, and return.

We talk about the courage it takes to tell our stories honestly, how their own creative process became a dambreaker for healing and expression, and how each of us has the ability to transmute hurt and harm into creative energy — the kind that fuels Good Work in the world.

If you've ever wondered how to alchemize pain into purpose or turn your own story into a force for connection and light, this conversation will remind you that wholeness isn't about perfection — it's about returning to yourself, over and over again.

MORE ABOUT CORINNE AND SARAH:

Corinne Shark is a storyteller, dreamer, and wild soul forever in search of adventure. Her writing is equal parts anthem and memoir fueled by the glow of honesty and the power of women finding each other by finding their own voice. As a recovering rule-follower who exchanged her death-grip on certainty to return to the wide-open wandering of her Arizona desert, she has deep convictions about what constitutes a good taco, stopping for sunsets, and always needs more ice. She is forever sending up flares and lighting bonfires on the bluff for women telling the truth about their lives - even if only a whisper, even if only to themselves. Sarah Carter is a writer, poet, and artist. Her writing explores the evocative dynamic between poetry and life, creatively braiding story, memoir, and myth into a language of holistic embodiment, and feminine empowerment. She grew up on an Arizona horse ranch and spent most days stowed away under giant Mesquite trees, imagining adventures and losing track of time. Now, she resides near a wildlife preserve outside Chicago, writing stories, riding horses, hiking with her dogs, creating abstract paintings in her studio, and hanging with loved ones. She still loves the desert and always stands barefoot under a full moon. Nothing makes her happier than witnessing women reclaim their worth and return home to themselves. Shared instagram @sarahandcorinne and linktree: linktr.ee/sarahandcorinne MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.

Can I pick your brain for a moment? I want to do more to support you so if you’d be so kind to reply to this email and tell me what you appreciate about this space and the content I share and any topics you may be interested in me addressing in this space.

I’d also appreciate any shares and/or introductions to people and organizations that bring in speakers/workshop facilitators. The world needs more skilled humans to care for this planet, our communities and our tender hearts and minds and you can be part of the change for the better with your referrals. If you’re wondering if my work is a fit for you or anyone else, have a look below!

My Work Is for You…

My work is for you if you’ve read all the books, listened to the podcasts, maybe even taken a few courses - but you’re still feeling stuck.

My work is for you if you’re tired of repeating the same patterns in your relationships, whether at work, at home, or within yourself, and you’re ready to understand why - so you can finally shift them.

My work is for you if you’ve been told to “just communicate better” but were never actually taught how - how to set boundaries, navigate conflict, or express what you need without guilt or fear.

My work is for you if you feel overwhelmed by emotions - yours or other people’s - and want to build the kind of emotional intelligence (SEQ) that helps you move through life with more confidence, clarity, and calm.

My work is for you if you crave growth but don’t want to force yourself into some rigid self-improvement model that ignores who you actually are. You don’t need to become a different person. You need to become more yourself.

My work is for you if you’re a leader, educator or someone who holds space for others, and you want to model the kind of communication, self-awareness and resilience that truly transforms teams and organizations.

My work is for you if you want real, evidence-based, high-impact strategies - not just inspiring quotes or vague advice, but actual tools that make a difference in how you show up in your relationships, your work and your life.

My work is for you if you’re ready to disrupt the cycles that keep you stuck and move toward more joy, connection and possibility.

If that sounds like you, let’s begin. 💡

If this topic hits home, there are a few ways we can keep the conversation going:

🎧 Free: Tune into my podcast, Make Discomfort Your B*tch, where we unpack the messy, beautiful work of emotional intelligence and growth.

📘 Book: My book Could It Be Better? is your self-paced guide to navigating discomfort, building self-awareness and creating more joy and connection in your relationships.

💬 1:1 Work:

• Parent Coaching: For those raising kids (and trying not to lose themselves in the process). I help you navigate challenging behavior, mental health issues, boundary setting and so much more!

• Social Emotional Intelligence Coaching: For anyone ready to shift from reactive to grounded and from overthinking to aligned action.

🏢 For Organizations:

• Bring me in to speak or lead a workshop on communication, boundaries and emotionally intelligence that supports the climate and culture of your workplace.

• Or explore emPowered Workplace, where we help teams align their culture, communication and values - so people can thrive together instead of just survive at work.

Our conversation goes far beyond brand strategy and success stories. EJ and I explore how discomfort can be one of our greatest teachers — especially when it comes to learning how to learn, growing our social awareness, and navigating a diverse world in values-based ways.

EJ's insight into leadership, collaboration, and creative excellence is both inspiring and grounding. He reminds us that growth doesn't come from staying comfortable — it comes from being curious, humble, and willing to stretch beyond what we know.

If you've ever wondered how to align ambition with authenticity, or how to lead with both courage and compassion, this is a conversation you won't want to miss.

Tune in to hear how EJ uses discomfort as a tool for doing better, being better and building communities that thrive on awareness, integrity and creative freedom.

MORE ABOUT EJ:

EJ Jamele is the CEO and founder of crowdMGMT, a brand & talent management and full-service productions firm representing an exclusive roster of multi-faceted artists in the beauty and lifestyle industries. As a dynamic production house, crowdMGMT creates compelling content across all media - from targeted social campaigns to major advertising spots, television shows, streaming content, and film projects. The company's prestigious client list includes leading publications, global brands, TV networks, fashion houses and celebrities such as VOGUE, Vanity Fair, Essence, L'Officiel, #LEGEND, ABC, VH1, FX, The Kardashians, Ciara, Mary J. Blige, Jeep, Balmain, Versace, L'Oreal, PUMA, Jennifer Hudson, V Magazine and countless others.

EJ's dedication to the industry extends beyond production and management - he served as a board member and annual state scholarship pageant producer for the Miss America Connecticut chapter, and co-produced the EFFIE Award-winning "Know Your Status" LIFE BEAT org stage concert series, where all attendees took confidential HIV tests as entry to the venue. He serves as an executive contributor to The Makeup Show and regularly speaks and advises for a network of over sixty thousand pro and aspiring beauty industry artists globally.

His commercial and entertainment work has garnered billions of impressions, featured on Good Morning America, VH1, MTV, BET, Billboard Magazine, V Magazine, Essence Magazine, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Complex Media and many more. As a talent manager to some of the industry's most sought-after artists, EJ brings his keen eye for talent development and media projects to every endeavor. He fosters a culture of high-level collaboration among clients and colleagues, facilitating inclusive projects within the crowdMGMT artist roster and network.

EJ states, "I believe that by elevating one another, my clients will maintain both longevity and creative advantage in their respective industries and it's my job to curate a roster of like-minded elite talent to maintain and elevate that advantage for us all."

Television audiences may recognize him from appearances on VH1's "Lala Anthony's Full Court Life" and "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," highlighting his expertise and clients. He continues to forge forward in all aspects of his career, as he would say, "AVANTI!"

IG: instagram.com/EJ_Jamele

MORE ABOUT ME:

I'm a mental health therapist, speaker, author and educator who helps organizations bridge the gap between knowing and doing the things that foster well-being, resilience and success. With expertise in school counseling, trauma-informed practices, and social-emotional intelligence (SEI), I help teams address the root causes of issues such as burnout, communication breakdowns, and resistance to change—rather than just treating surface-level symptoms. My engaging, evidence-based approach equips audiences with the skills to navigate discomfort, build trust and create healthier, more adaptive workplaces.

I'm also a "Resolutionist" with Empowered Workplace Dispute Resolution, where I leverage my trauma-informed expertise to guide difficult conversations with compassion and clarity. I create safe spaces for resolving conflicts, turning challenges into growth opportunities. Whether working with frontline workers, organizational teams or educational leaders, I help people feel seen, heard and valued—transforming disputes into deeper understanding.

MORE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME:

* Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, the latest news and more! I post a few times a month so I won't be inundating your inbox

* Book me for a workshop or speaking event! Email me at cher@cheranderton.com

* Read or listen to my book Could It Be Better? An unorthodox approach to experiencing more joy and connection in relationships

* Find me @cheranderton on Instagram and TikTok

Disclaimer: My podcast and other work on social platforms are for educational purposes only and are not meant to be a replacement for professional mental health services. We are not creating a client/therapist relationship through social media, including comments and direct messages. This platform is not monitored 24/7 so if you feel unsafe or need immediate help in any way, please call an emergency number that can meet your needs.