The last couple of weeks have gone amazingly well, but I look back to things I did this far along in my previous pregnancy, and I see that in many ways I just don’t have the capacity I did last time. In my seventh month of pregnancy that time my husband was gone for a three-week stretch, and I felt like I managed okay, took the girls myself, and stayed at my parents for half that time, etc. But this time I just don’t go anywhere I don’t have to, and three weeks without my husband sounds almost impossible.

Then again, this time I am homeschooling full time, which I wasn’t doing that time, and there are other things going on that weren’t happening that time, so maybe it is all okay, even though I feel weaker and more tired.

A few weeks ago I was going through one of my physical and emotional lows, and I remember just pausing a bit and grieving that I had less “village” and close community available than ever before.

Right there as I was crawling over my bed trying to get it made, I felt God say to me, “But you and your family are also more capable than ever before.” As I thought about it, I realized He was right. While I would love more “village” as people say nowadays, I do manage running my home much better than I used to. The children are also a big help. With my last baby my oldest was not quite six yet, and now I have an 8 and 9-year-old who are capable of helping out so much.

And so some of that is a desperate want, but not a need. And right there on my bed I realized God had given me a motto for the rest of my pregnancy. It’s “Embracing the Stretching.”

I have used it often since when I feel that something feels very stretching. When I start wishing I had more help or someone to talk to, or it is just a hard day, I remind myself to accept that stretching. That is how we grow and become stronger and more capable. The stretching of motherhood bit by bit is what makes having 5 children sound easier than what it felt like when I had only two.

Another thing that God has used to make me think lately was an article by Lynn Kleinsasser on the difference between need and desire. She spoke mostly in the context of marriage, and I agreed with it very much, though that is not where I struggled. Instead, God spoke to me about other areas of my life that I felt I had needs, like friendships with other women in my age or stage of life.

I have desperately desired, to where I felt it was a need, to have friends that would fulfill it. Or with whom I could share the everyday joys and struggles of life. But God has reminded me that those are desires, not needs, and I need to seek fulfillment in Him. He is my only need.

Someone near and dear to me mentioned some time ago that they no longer felt the song “Jesus Christ is made to me, All I Need,” that we need others. I can see someone who tends to shut themselves away come to that conclusion. But someone like myself who is very much a people person, and struggles with loneliness when I have tried my very best to maintain or build friendships, I have to learn that Jesus Christ is all I need.

So lately when I find myself being stretched, or desperately desiring relationships I don’t have, I remind myself that God is using this to grow me, and that I need to find my fulfillment in Him alone, and that counting my blessings helps me to see the other side. I have so much to be thankful for.

Yes, some of the struggles have meant just being consistent with chlorophyll and supplements to see improvement. Yes, a friend who took the time to listen to my mess of emotions and struggles some time ago did help a lot. But I have a good deal of humanness in me, and God is working on me bit by bit. It has taken a lot of time, and sometimes I still struggle fiercely, but all this stretching and struggling will make me stronger for the next season of life.

So if you are struggling with the stretching, I want to leave a bit of encouragement with you. First off, if I could, I would certainly stop in to help or send one of my girls over to wash your dishes or play with your babies. But this very stretching is making you stronger; it is preparing you.

I can’t help but compare it all to my running journey. Before getting pregnant earlier this year, I finally worked my way up to running 5 kms in a morning, something I had never done in my life before. It required hard work and stretching and challenging myself in ways I had never done before, but it made me stronger. And it’s true that this pregnancy has been my hardest, most challenging healthwise and all, but one thing has been better than ever before: I have basically no hip trouble or discomfort like I always did in my other pregnancies. I have hardly struggled with my sciatic nerves either. I credit a lot of it to the running I did.

So whatever your challenges today, face them with a brave heart, like I am trying (imperfectly) to do. You will get stronger.

Blessings, Melinda

Since then, I have been trying to keep up with regular homeschool life, while this pregnancy is making it harder and harder to move at anything faster than a turtle’s pace without getting utterly exhausted. We also had a cousin’s wedding and visiting family during this time, and I got a gestational diabetes diagnosis.

But in 2.5 months or less, Lord willing, we will be meeting our second son, and all of this will have been worth it. Today I happen to have a quiet afternoon to myself as my husband had a meeting over two hours away and took all the children with him. Traveling is one of the most torturous things for me to do at this stage, so even though they were going to my parents’ area, I chose to stay home. I slept over an hour, cleaned up the house, read, and am now taking the opportunity to write. Spoiled, I know.

Before I go on, I did want to mention that Hoffman Academy, where we get our online piano lessons, is having a big sale through August 27. If you are looking for something like that and, like us, don’t have a good option for in-person piano lessons, check it out here at Hoffman Academy. While we have slacked in our lessons lately due to other things in life, and we do use the free version most of the time, we really enjoy the lessons, and I think you will too. I also want to mention that if you purchase their membership through my link, I do earn a commission at no cost to you.

So about our trip to the DR, our three-year-old got tired of trying to say Dominican Republic and stated that saying “Puglick” was fine too. We thought it was cute, and for writing, I will just use DR!

It started when our friends from out there asked if Marcos would go help teach at a week of Bible School they were having. Due to family circumstances (or rather, his wife’s condition), he told them that for this year they would need to take us all if they wanted him to go, because leaving me for over a week alone with the children just seemed like too much. They decided to take us all.

It would have been a lovely trip if it wasn’t that this pregnancy is costing me in every way possible, but we made the best of it. The children did very well, though they did get tired of being around people so much. And it is way hotter there than here at our home in the mountains. Thankfully, we stayed at a very nice house with air conditioning, and it was within walking distance from where the Bible school was held, so the children and I would usually spend half the day there instead of at the Bible school. I love crowds, but that heat was something different…

Our friends there were the ones who had first encouraged us to start with children’s Bible classes, which we do every other week from about June to October here for the past several years. They combined VBS with their Bible school by having the youth help with the children’s classes at 4 p.m. every day that week. It was fun to watch crowds of over 200 Haitian and DR children singing with all their heart. We were encouraged again not to give up, as they told us that most of the youth there who are seeking to follow Jesus are results of their children’s Bible classes over the years, and most of them are first-generation Christians going through challenges we have never had to face.

One Bible school class I missed on that my husband told me about later was a teaching on technology and the dangers that happen because Satan has tried to erase the boundaries God place between what is secular and sacred, private and public. God placed a wall around the garden of Eden, with a guarded gate. He designed the temple with divisions, and the most sacred areas were only for a select few.

While I can’t explain it all, the speaker had mentioned how it used to be that for a young man to start communicating with a young lady, he had to go through several “walls of protection” like her community, her family, etc. But now he can get right to her and even into her room through the phone. My husband and I were talking about how we let most people into our homes, but very few into our bedrooms, and separations like that. But now with videos and phones, people often have access to areas in our homes where we would not allow them to be physically.

It was a sobering reminder to us, to guard what is private and sacred, and to remember that God established those boundaries for a reason. That maybe we should also watch to leave our phones out of our bedrooms or things like that. We don’t have it all figured out, but we are thinking of it. (Of course, oversharing is much more my problem than his!)

It was a good trip, and we were blessed and encouraged. Sometimes with the loneliness here, I almost forget that all over the world there are other Christians doing their best to be faithful in hard places, and I have some things so easy.

And that is my encouragement for you today: keep being faithful in the ordinary, daily moments God has for you wherever you are. Pour into the children, whether that’s your own or others. There are children everywhere looking for love, and sharing it doesn’t need to be complicated. Be faithful in maintaining the boundaries God has in place for order to exist in our homes and societies. And may God bless you richly as you go through the struggles and joys of life.

Till next time, Melinda

P.S. If you have any questions, you are certainly welcome to ask them!

When I sit down to write an email to you all, I usually imagine a room full of women in a similar situation to mine. Honestly though, I don’t know most of you. But I still love to share my heart with others. It feels like the words bottled up in my heart have a place to go, and I trust they bless at least some of you.

I do get to see that most of you subscribe to my emails by signing up for my free homeschool planner. So most of you are homeschool moms, I suspect. And I suppose most of you come from the US or Canada, where you are having summer vacations. As I have mentioned before, our homeschool year in Costa Rica is from about February to November. We are trying to finish in October so we can be done when the baby comes.

Next week we will be going on a trip as a family, and I hope to tell you some about that in my next email. That will be our mid-year school break. Besides a couple of days off here and there because of appointments or something like that, we haven’t had actual school breaks since starting our school year at the beginning of February, but it has been going well.

If you are interested in more of our family’s recent changes such as getting new cabinets, bringing our homeschool back into our house, stopping YouTube, and such, you are welcome to check out my latest video here.

For today, I want to share with you some thoughts that I wrote down one night when I couldn’t go back to sleep in the early hours of the day. One of the things that doesn’t go away as busy moms is our need to work on our own hearts and feelings, even as life goes on. This below is the processing of all the hard and “grey” of the last several months, especially during this pregnancy.

I don’t remember the occasion or the situation, but at one point in my youth I asked my dad what exactly he believed about something. I wanted a black-and-white answer, so I could know what I believed too. Even though I have no idea what it was about anymore, I know he didn’t have a clear answer.

It used to bother me, but now I see that that uncertainty was a gift. It taught me to think on my own, and I still don’t know what I think about some situations.

We tend to believe, and maybe have even heard it taught, that God has everything defined as black and white, good or evil, clearly laid boundaries, and all that. But as life goes on I am learning that God has grey area. He is the creator of twilight and dawn, as well as day and night.

Growing up surrounded by people who wanted to serve Him wholeheartedly, another thing I heard is that God is a God of order. And yet now looking back, I think we got some things wrong as we wanted so much to live in His order. Sure, the sun rises and sets at predetermined times, but He didn’t plant all the trees in rows. “God is a God of order” isn’t even in the Bible, and we used it to try to get “messy people” to shape up. The reality is that God comes and sits with us in the mess, and He doesn’t always clean it all up right away, especially not without some wrestling on our part.

I am reminded of Jacob walking away with a limp after wrestling with God all night (Genesis 32:22-31). He would not let go without a blessing, and yet he walked away with a limp, not perfect order.

I feel that sometimes. The last few months have been a wrestling with God in the darkness, and while I am determined to walk away with a blessing, I walk with a limp. I have seen it in others too, limping through darkness that is unexplainable.

Perhaps we don’t need perfect order to have God’s blessing. Maybe we walk with a limp, and maybe that limp doesn’t after all mean that something is wrong with us, like we might have believed.

One thing I have learned in the last couple of years is how two opposites can actually be true at the same time. It goes against my wanting things in black and white or wrong and right. It doesn’t have clear lines, and sometimes it is uncomfortable.

As an example, I think back to my childhood and youth, and how I have mostly happy memories. Especially my youth years seem full of friends and activities and good things, which my extrovert soul thrived on. Sure, I can think back to some situations that weren’t all sunshine, but the general memory is bright. I thought we had found the perfect way to live.

As the years have gone by and I have stopped to listen to some others who were there too, and how their experience was largely negative, I didn’t know how to process it. How could something that affected me one way be so different for the next person? Surely one of us was wrong. But time has taught me that I can hold both truths: I had a beautiful childhood and youth, but the same time and place hurt someone else. It’s grey, not black and white.

I didn’t start doubting this “perfect way of life” till around our wedding when I saw how some of it wasn’t so perfect after all. But we found people in the “street corners” (Matthew 22), and among the “rejected and lowly” there were friends willing to help us. And God used the “imperfect” to give us a lovely wedding. (It’s a story for another time, but I am trying to bring across how the people I thought should be “perfect people” did not serve like Jesus, but the ones who supposedly weren’t so good did.)

Since then I have been on a journey, trying to understand a God who doesn’t always work in perfect order, a God who works in dusk and dawn when things aren’t clear, and a God who still seeks me out even when I don’t know how to process Him and life in general.

And so I hold both truths and accept them even when it is heavy: My first two decades were good, AND there were things that weren’t so good about it all.

Another set of opposite feelings I have been trying to figure out is grief and joy. Because this year it has been hard to understand.

Let’s go back to one thing I have only been able to name in the last year or two. Over the years I have gotten so very angry in a few situations. It’s not anger you would usually see, it’s a seething that happens beneath the surface, and only my husband or a few people close to me get a glimpse of it, but I have felt the all-consuming burn.

Looking back, I see that when I have had those strong feelings towards a certain situation or people, they all point back to the same root. As I have dug back further, I see that the first time I can remember that feeling was as a little girl, when my sister was asked to “chaperone” a dating couple several more times than me. I finally found a name for the feeling that leaves me so angry. It’s called “left out.”

Things can come my way that don’t affect me, but when I realize I have been “left out” of something again (and not always with bad intentions), that is when the anger has become overwhelming.

For a long time I didn’t know how to deal with it. I tried to stuff it down and forget about it. But as I learned about anger and such, I learned that anger comes from overwhelm, and also that anger is often grief or pain that you don’t want to feel. This year as I faced being “left out” in a major way again, I felt I needed to do something about it.

So I decided to let myself feel the grief and pain I have always tried to block before. I know my pregnancy intensified or brought my feelings to the surface, but what a hard few months it has been.

Every time I start to struggle with being left out of friendships I tried so hard to grow (again, in many cases it’s not that people have tried to be mean, it’s just that I have felt I didn’t matter to them, left out), every time the loneliness and anger have started to overwhelm me, I have told myself I need to let myself feel the pain.

And I have cried so much, spent so many days with tears running down my face…

My children are used to seeing me cry, but I have told them that I am okay. I am just feeling sad but I will get better. They don’t worry about me, but I sometimes have wondered if I will ever see light again.

I am figuring out that all these years of pain that I didn’t want to feel are coming to the surface, and crying out many years of grief has taken so much. I didn’t know it could hurt so much.

Sometimes I still want to feel angry that those relationships I have tried so hard to build or maintain just haven’t happened, but I am learning to let myself feel the grief, to “cry on God’s shoulder” even though I don’t understand why He doesn’t fix my loneliness and longing for friends.

And after months of that, I am occasionally surprised to realize that some days I feel a restfulness, and gratefulness for all the other beautiful things in my life. Maybe deep under the surface God is restoring and healing, and filling the holes with His presence.

So just maybe, it won’t always hurt so bad to be “left out.” Because He holds me close.

But the hurt still comes back to me over and over again. As I listen to the stories others tell of grief, I know it might never totally go away till heaven. But instead of becoming hard and angry, I am trying to allow God to make me soft through it all.

Again, it’s a mix of feelings that are opposites, and yet very real. Grief and pain and loneliness, but also gratefulness and joy in all God’s gifts. Because so much sadness and longing for friends can happen at the same time as having a loving, caring husband, soon-to -be five darling children, my own little home to keep, wonderful in-laws, and parents who still both tell me they are proud of me and love me, even in my thirties.

In both of the settings I grew up in (first till I was 10, and then another till I was 18) we were part of a good-sized church community. I had a number of friends my age in both places, there were new babies every year, and there were regular church activities that gave me so much purpose and joy. I got to help other young moms (yes, even at 10 years old), and I thrived on the social life.

In my teens I told God I would be a missionary for Him, and was willing to go to tough places. I didn’t know He would take me so seriously, and send me to a small semi-urban church in my own birth country. I didn’t know my pastor husband and I would give all we have for many years, with nothing really to show for it, besides our own offspring (which, of course, it certainly is something to have soon-to-be five of the sweetest children I could imagine.) I didn’t know that pretty much every year, including this one, it would get lonelier with less people in our immediate circle, and that most church services I would end up being the only woman anywhere near childbearing age to attend.

And this year I have doubted again if God really is good. But He is here in the wrestling, and I can wrestle with the grey of good and hard. When I wish so much for the “baby meals” that were common in my growing up years, when everyone pitched in to take meals to families with new babies… When I wish so much there was another young mom to chat with after church services… When I look out to the gate longing for someone to stop by for a visit…

I know He has a plan though I can’t see it through the grey. I know the goodness exists when I listen to the stories of others and see that I am not in an isolated prison cell like others have been for their faith. I hear stories of struggles with parents and in-laws, but mine have always been so supportive. I know it when I hear stories of broken marriages, but my husband loves me well in all my brokenness and imperfection. When I see my healthy, happy children who don’t know anything else and don’t realize that I feel they are “missing out” because they rarely have friends at church, and I see so many parents who face major struggles with their children that I haven’t yet. I have the blessing of a beautiful home, instead of having lost everything to an earthquake or fire.

Speaking of my children, the other day as I overheard them talking in the backyard, I quickly wrote down what one of them said so I wouldn’t forget it. She said, “We are full of neighbors and friends.” They were discussing the people who give them candy or the neighborhood friends who come over to play sometimes. They see all the blessings, where I tend to see all the loss. And I wonder, what if God someday calls them to a large bustling community? Will they then have the opposite struggle I have? Will they long for the quietness and predictability of their younger years?

I firmly believe we are part of a bigger picture, and God is working on the whole plan, even when we just see our own life. So my life here, with this year’s tears and joy, is just a small piece of His big plan. Even while He deeply cares for us individually, He has always worked on the big picture.

Our surrender to that is what glorifies Him. And while I have doubted His goodness (and sometimes still do), I don’t see Him as a tough taskmaster. He works in the grey where we have a hard time seeing things clearly, when it feels like the sun will never shine brightly again. There is deep grief and great joys, and looking for the bits of light shows us that it is certainly not all darkness. I believe someday we will see the big picture, and all the shades of light, grey, and darkness will work together for good.

I don’t know if anyone will have read this far, but if you did, I would love to give you a big hug. Maybe you are going through your own struggles, and I can listen. It’s hard to be a mother or care for others when your own heart is working so hard to heal, but He has called us and He will be faithful.

May God bless each of you with His presence.

Till next time, Melinda

Welcome to another email from my Costa Rican home. I am fully aware that I haven’t written in nearly two months, and a bunch of you are new here, having signed up for my free homeschool planner on my blog. If that is you, welcome. I pray my future emails can be an encouragement to all moms, and homeschooling moms in particular, because that is who I am.

But yes, my silence in my emails is due to another blessing on the way. I have posted a bit more on Instagram for those who follow along there, and for the sake of time I will just copy a couple of posts from there, as an introduction.

The announcement:

First trimester was rough. I don’t get nauseous and those other regular symptoms, but the exhaustion was brutal, and the insomnia, depression, and loneliness for friends and wishing I could sit down and visit with other women my age was very present.

I am so grateful for a caring husband and children and that it all looks much brighter now in the second trimester. We are all so excited looking forward to meeting the next member of the family.

While I tend to not share very much on here, if homeschooling in pregnancy, hoping for a VBAC, or anything in that line interests you, I would love to have you along for the journey.

We have three girls and one boy, and I suspect that it’s another girl on the way, but we have to wait and see. All our others were surprises, though I think we might break that rule for this pregnancy.

After by far the longest baby break, we are all so excited to see what God has blessed us with this time.

Encouragement for the moms struggling in pregnancy or postpartum:

Dear young mom who wanted a bunch of children but now struggles emotionally in pregnancy and postpartum:

It feels like you are betraying yourself, because you looked forward to having children, but right now it does not feel joyful. You are still a good mom, and seasons of joy will come.

If you struggle so much that you are tempted to hurt your children, please do not be afraid to ask for help immediately, even professional help.

It’s most likely hormonally rooted. Work on getting help with balancing your hormones and health in general.

And even when you feel healthy and strong, the next pregnancy might knock much harder than you expected (going through that now.) You might need to grieve that for the sake of the children you already have, you might need to have less children or greater spacing than you had dreamed of. It’s okay and good to grieve that, even while you are extremely grateful for the children you do have.

Remember even in this weakness God has a plan and can work His strength in you, and brighter days will come again.

(And if I could, I would give you a hug and stop by so you wouldn’t feel so alone, (or wash your dishes or babysit your other children if you preferred.) There are actually a bunch of women who go through this, and we maybe don’t talk about it enough.)

To the homeschool mom:

We managed to continue with homeschooling and just skipped a couple of days due to exhaustion and needing to get my home a bit in order, but pregnancy and homeschooling isn’t easy either.

Thankfully now in the second trimester things are going much better. We are working hard to finish our school year a bit early to be totally free by the time the baby comes (due in November.)

On top of that we had the huge blessing of getting second hand cabinets installed in my kitchen (I have never had actual cabinets till now) and so that is so exciting and fun, but moving stuff around and all has been a mess! However, once we do find a place for everything, it will really help to make room for the baby and bringing our homeschool back into the house for next school year ( which here in Costa Rica is about from February to November.)

For those who aren’t familiar, due to our small home, we leave everyday for our homeschool in another building, but with a baby that will be just too much.

In Closing

I hope my scattered thoughts in this email make sense. I love writing, but just didn’t have the energy and time for awhile due to everything going on, but I imagine I will again for awhile now, till end of pregnancy and postpartum pull me back again!

While this email is different, I want most of my emails to simply be an encouragement for other moms seeking to do there best and glorify God as they raise there children, whether that includes homeschooling or not.

Till next time, Melinda

P.S. I love to hear from my readers too! Also, on IG you can find me @connectingwithlittles if you are interested.

Over in the other room I can hear my husband reading the bedtime story to the children. And as I sit down to type a bit, I am thinking of all you moms who will be reading this.

Most of you have found this page because of homeschooling, some of you aren’t homeschoolers but you are moms of littles, and all of you have a special place in my heart. With my oldest soon turning nine, and my little boy having just turned three, I feel the change of motherhood seasons.

It’s no longer me who has to buckle them all in when we get in the vehicle, in fact, I don’t buckle anyone in, because they help each other. Other areas of life are simpler as well, while some things become more complicated ( deep theological questions from the oldest, for example).

So tonight, whether you are struggling with exhaustion ( I should be in bed too, so I hope this all will make sense!), or whether you are in an easier season, I want this little poem I wrote the other day to be an encouragement. (While I am not a very good poet, I play around with rhymes sometimes!)

Our children are so precious, God gives them to us for a few short years, and eventually they will move on, but God will still be there.

The Rocking Chair Prayer

It’s you, and me, and the rocking chair,

A wholesome foursome because God is there.

And on my lips a little prayer

For my little boy growing up.

Because I know in a few short years,

After some more bumps and a lot more tears,

You will be all grown up.

Again, it will be me, and God, and the rocking chair,

And you will have gone on your way somewhere,

But on my lips will still be a prayer,

And wherever you are, God will also be there.

-Melinda Dueck

May God bless you tonight as you say your rocking chair prayers, whether you are holding your babies, or they have moved on already, or anything in between.

P.S. Just wanted to include the reminder that you can message me if you want to chat with a fellow mom, and for those struggling with overwhelm or homeschooling, check out my free (currently) courses and community.

In my last writeup I mentioned we were about to start school. We started our Costa Rican homeschool year on Feb. 2. Now we are over 5 weeks into our school year and I am grateful to say they have been very good weeks. We have settled into the routine, been very consistent, and are learning and growing, including this teacher mom!

A recurring thought has been in my brain this year, and it’s about how we women are creators of beauty and order.

In January I started deep cleaning my house. I went through every corner, drawer, and paper pretty much. Thankfully I got most of it done before we started school, but then I didn’t get a chance to finish the kitchen till last Saturday. It feels so good to just have one box of some things I have to go through yet.

We did so much cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. In a small house it still didn’t leave us with empty space, but stuff fits better. Best of all, I know we got rid of lots of things we don’t need.

In January we also spent a week with my parents, painting their container shed and going to the beach all together. Transforming that shed was so much fun. I will admit that when it comes down to details that require patience, my husband does a much better job at creating beauty than I do, and he gets most of the credit for that.

Then there was my father-in-law’s birthday, and he wanted fruit, so we made a fruit cake. Again, many others do better than I when it comes to details, but it is fun to bring beauty to our lives.

My daughter finished a diamond painting she was given, and wanted a verse to go with it to fill the frame we had for it. Somehow Ecclesiastes 3:11 fit perfectly.

As I thought about how women everywhere find little ways to work beauty into thier lives, I also thought of how overwhelming it can be to bring order and beauty to our homes at times. Filled with a bunch of wonderful little children, order doesn’t always seem attainable.

Why is it so tiring, and yet why do we work for it? I believe it’s because we have those desires from God, but we don’t have His power to do it by just saying a Word, like He did in creation. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, but it also means we need to accept our limitations.

And here is a little secret I am discovering as my children get older, it does get easier now that I have taught/am teaching them to help. That is a big reward for the first years of motherhood when it all seemed to depend on me.

So today I want to leave you with the encouragement to look around your home, find some little spot where you can bring beauty and order, and let that little daily habit compound.

Till next time, Melinda

P.S. If you are struggling with how to homeschool, or how to have a thriving homeschool, or if you struggle with overwhelm in motherhood, I invite you to join my courses in my community, Overwhelmed to Overcoming.

May your week be filled with blessings and beauty!

Today I stopped to think of my spaghetti thoughts, and wow, they were all over the place in a small amount of time.

I am not feeling my usual chipper self. Maybe I am getting a cold. What can I do about it?

How I wish I could go running again, but things just keep coming up, from feeling sick to the tennis shoes that now feel too tight. Should I just try running in them anyway? Would I even be able to find the next size bigger in stores around here?

And how can the two months of school vacation be over already? Will I remember everything I need to make Monday a memorable first day again?

I am so glad everyone is so excited about starting school again, but I know we will also get tired of it.

Are my children having the happy childhood we want for them? Do I do enough?

And I didn’t get all the deep cleaning done like I wanted to before school started again, but at least I got the hardest rooms done. Maybe I can finish in the coming afternoons.

Should I stop making videos and writing altogether? But no, it’s such a fun creative outlet I can’t imagine quitting, but maybe I just have to cut back a bit and keep my boundaries. My new setup of blocking most apps for most of the day seems to be working well, and God did seem to give me the perfect time to record some videos yesterday when all the children went with Marcos for two hours, and the house was pretty much cleaned up. So maybe He is the one making the time for me.

________continues in the hospital. I wish I could help in some way, but I guess I can just pray from so far away. It must feel like Job to lose so much, and why does that need to happen this way, but God must have some plan.

What is the shop going to do now that the new, good worker is quitting? Can we find someone else who does as well, or will the men continue to “drown” in work?

And with _______moving away, it just feels heavy. Why another lonely season of these for me? And I know God is the one who directs, so the only one I can be angry at is Him. I ask so many why’s but I guess He has taught me something over other seasons of loneliness, and I do know He will make a way, somehow.

Is there any other way I could create friendships and community with the women around me? What about for my children? I have prayed so much for friends for them and love to see them playing with the neighbor girls. But all their friends have been from broken homes, or without Christian parents, or through foster care situations. Maybe that is a good thing, just it would be nice if they could have close friends they could look up to. But maybe this will teach them compassion and God’s heart better.

It’s so hard, yet I wouldn’t want any other kind of hard or anyone else’s hard. Maybe it’s simply okay to admit the hard, know that others have it hard too, and count my blessings.

Because I do remember dreaming of being a brave missionary in hard places. I wouldn’t have imagined that my country of birth could have such a hard, lonely place. But I guess I am living my dream.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a good-sized church with at least a couple more families? Or would that bring in relationship problems that I can’t imagine? Or would it require a tragedy for people to wake up from their comfortable semi-urban living? I am not sure I am ready to face something like that.

Really, why do I want more community and other women close to my age and stage of life? I mean, I guess again it is okay that it is hard and to feel that. But I do have such a good husband, wonderful children, all I need as far as shelter and food go, wonderful parents and in-laws, and helpful neighbors. And God has brought us through, and will continue to bring us through the next steps.

And I will spare you the rest of the spaghetti…

But here is my word for you today. You are probably going through something hard too. God is okay with your tears, doubts, and even angry questions. But over our piles of dishes and laundry we can build altars of surrender. Because the day will come when He will make all things right.

And here is a little secret that lightens the load every time I start feeling the dark clouds roll in: counting blessings brings rays of sunshine. When I just start looking around at all my blessings, and remembering that many others don’t have them, I really do feel like I have so much to thank God for.

May you find His light, love, and blessings in you life today.

By His grace,

Melinda

P.S. I try hard to build a community around me, and I will always know that real life community is the best. But when you don’t have much of that? Well, I am creating a little online community (but not on social media) for other moms who struggle with loneliness and overwhelm, and would like someone to talk to about all that as well as homeschooling questions and companionship (because I don’t have any homeschooling community around me either.)

I also share my courses on overcoming overwhelm and creating a thriving homeschool in that community, as a way to share some of the things I have learned and am learning with others.

If any of that sounds like what you need, I would love to have you join the small group of us already in the community. You can learn more here.

P.S.S. I hope none of this sounds like I feel sorry for myself, because while that is certainly sometimes a struggle, I do realize just how incredibly blessed I am. This is just a peek into one woman’s thoughts, and maybe you will find that you are also not so alone in some of your own struggles, and that we serve the same God who blesses us so much.

First of all I want to wish you a blessed year ahead.

One Year Since My Accident

The end/start of the year marked several anniversaries for us. The 30th of December it was one year since I broke my arm. Last January was so painful with a surgery, recovery, and all that went with that.

But then as I have reflected on the rest of the year, the truth is that as a family we had a very good year. I know of so many others who went through so much loss last year, and so I hold my blessings tenderly and gratefully, and with just a bit of fear of what the future could hold for us.

Since the start of the year I have already seen a couple of heartaches coming this year, and I am not sure I want to face them, but I know that the God who carried us through last January, will take us through anything in the future.

Married 10 years!

January 1 was also our 10 year wedding anniversary, and somehow it is hard to believe. What good years they have been!

When I remember the nearly two years I spent waiting for Marcos to “wake up” (like Adam, you know!), I know I am so blessed to be able to share every day life with him. I get to see what a good dad he is. I get his goodbye kisses. And I even get to see when he changes his message topic five minutes before he has to get up to preach, knowing no one else has any idea about what has just happened.

I thank God for this gift, and pray we can continue to grow in love and service in the coming years.

School Break

December and January have been full of different activities, and also a bit more relaxed than our school year. We start again on Feb. 2 as our school year is different here in Costa Rica.

We are looking forward to that again, though the break has been so good. These days I am deep cleaning every corner and drawer in my house, and while it’s really tough, and a huge mess, the finished places are looking so good.

Mom Community and Courses

Another thing I have been enjoying working on is a new community for homeschooling moms of littles struggling with overwhelm, though it would work for any mom to join and learn and grow all together.

As I have been thinking of how to help other moms with what I have learned about homeschooling and overwhelm in the last years, I also decided to create some courses to have a simpler way of sharing the information with others. While they are still a work in progress, I host them on the same community called Overwhelmed to Overcoming.

For now I am opening it all for free, and I would love to have any of you who is interested join me as founding members. If you are interested you can learn more about Overwhelmed to Overcoming here. On that page you will also see a video that shows you what all is included in the community.

All for Now

While there is so much more I would love to write about, I think I better leave it at this for now and go do some more cleaning up and baking, as well as some cleaning that is waiting for me.

Thank you for being here, and I hope to share more encouragement and inspiration in the future.

All by His grace,

Melinda

To those of you who are new, welcome! I hope these emails will encourage you in your motherhood journey. And to all of you, thank you for letting me have a place to share the words of my heart.

Where have we been? Well, November was very busy wrapping up our school year. We finished our books on the 28th, cleaned up everything in our school area, and had a small program/presentation for some family and friends on November 30th. We shared songs and verses as a family, but practicing for that all took some time.

Since then we have been getting into our new vacation routine, catching up on housework that had gotten very far behind, and having a more relaxed schedule. Yesterday we went on a field trip as further celebration of the end of the school year. We took a train ride to the capital city, and visited a nice children’s museum.

In the last month or so I have heard several sad stories from mothers.

One was a friend who lost her baby a 7 1/2 months of pregnancy. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to bury your baby, but seeing the trust and grace with which she is going through this season convicts my own heart.

The second heartache I learned of was when the neighbors of my husband’s shop lost one of their sons through a drunken fight. The details aren’t needed, but I know that over the years they have gone through so much sadness with those situations. And the mother’s heart is badly hurting.

I wonder how it would feel to remember your son as an innocent baby, and lose him as a drunken man. It’s so, so sad.

The last story I want to tell you is of an older friend we have known in the last years here. She says they called her babbling Brook. And my dear Brook, when you read these words, remember that I think brooks are very nice.😄

Brook (as we will call her for today), stopped in the week after we finished school. She dearly loves the children and brought us all a lovely cake. She is getting on in years and loves to talk politics, horses, dogs, and most of all about Jesus.

She also has the heartache of seeing the choices her son and grandchildren have made, while knowing that she failed in many ways when she was a young mom. Sometimes she looks and my children laughing and playing, and sadly shakes her head as she says, “I wish I had done things differently with my son.”

On this last visit she told me how when he was younger and she had to work hard to provide for him, how he would come to her in the evenings and ask her to read him a story, and how she told him she was too tired and to go watch TV. “If only,” she says, “If I could do it again, I would read to him.”

That is such a good reminder to us, tired young moms.

But what I love about Brook is how she lights up when she talks of Jesus and how He saved her. And that day, we talked of how when we give Jesus our lives, He comes in and fixes the problems. If we had time, she would have many stories to tell about that.

And He can do the same for her son or anyone else who lets Him. Whatever the heartache, whatever the mess, He knows how to get you through it, heal it, clean it up.

So that is my encouragement for you in the coming days. Take your heartaches to Jesus. And I pray that you will find His grace abundant, like my dear Brook has.

In closing, I want to mention that I have my homeschool planner for free on my website if you need one. I already have mine printed for next year, and I can’t wait to use it.

Have a blessed weekend!

Till next time, Melinda

And it made me a bit sad. I don’t want my children to remember me as a mom who was always rushing them around. Rush to get ready for school and then back home. Hurry for this. Get that done now.

Sigh… I am not talking about not having to obey promptly, because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that 95% of the time, it wasn’t that we were late for an appointment or anything. It was my personal timeline.

I have always been a go-getter. But God is speaking to me, and I am trying to slow down every time I hear myself say “hurry up” and ask myself if it is really necessary.

What about you?

As I have been pausing these days, I have heard God’s voice in more small ways. It continues to bless me to think that HE is pursuing a relationship with me.

One recurring thought that pops up in my brain is that one line from a hymn or poem ( I can’t even remember where it is) that says, “From all that dims Thy Calvary, O Lamb of God deliver me.”

It’s a prayer from my heart, too. Sometimes when I pray it, I am almost afraid of what He might take away. But I know that He has it all in His control, and I don’t want to forget the vision of Him.

Great Peace Have They Which Love Thy Law

One of these days I was really offended with someone. I will spare you any details, of course. But as I was working through the issue in my heart, God kept bringing Psalm 119:165 to my mind.

It says, Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

Nothing shall offend them… But I sure was offended. And then I realized that I likely wasn’t loving His law enough, so I went and turned on the audio Bible for a while. I did get Great Peace back eventually. Try it next time you struggle with feeling offended.

I want to mention one more way God recently encouraged my heart in motherhood.

Our cat recently had kittens. Now she had been sneaking into our house as often as she could during the day, so I knew that her only plan for kittens had something to do with indoors.

Well, one night we heard she was pretty desperate just out side our bedroom wall (which is make of metal roof sheets, whatever they are called). It was time to have her kittens, and we weren’t about to let her in the house. Marcos went out and put her in a box we had for her. And a short while later we heard the meowing of tiny kittens.

We went out to move her to a slightly warmer place as the night was chilly, and the surprising thing for me was how she was purring away, between having kittens.

It made me smile. Isn’t that how it sometimes is? Motherhood is sometimes messy and painful, but there is nowhere else we want to be than with our “kittens.”

Read More

I will close for now, but want to mention the newest article on my blog:

Leaving a Godly Legacy and what it means for us as moms, while reflecting on the legacy my grandparents left for their descendants.

Music in our Homeschool Sale

I have occasionally mentioned Music in our Homeschool as one of the resources we use for singing and some music lessons. For the whole month of November you can get 25% off any of the courses with the coupon code NOV25 .

As an affiliate, I do earn a small commission on anything you purchase through my link, but at no extra cost for you. I have been very happy with the courses we have taken, and if your family needs anything in the music curriculum line, check out Music in our Homeschool.

Has God been speaking to you in any specific way lately? If so, I would love if you would reply and let me know.

May God bless you richly this coming month, and may you hear His voice speaking in your heart for whatever you may need.

Blessings, Melinda

I wrote last nearly a month ago, and mentioned an upcoming surgery on my arm to those who get my emails.

And I am coming back now with a praise report. True, I cried a lot before my surgery, and was pretty scared of it because of the pain I went through after surgery in January when they put in all three plates and ten screws. But recovery went way better.

I had never realized how much having broken bones and healing those can hurt. Now that it was just removing everything, it was so much easier. In January I spent several weeks on strong pain killers. This time I took one the first night because of fear of pain, but then I never needed another one, even with a cuts and stitches above and below my wrist.

I am so grateful. Now I am pretty much back to where I was before surgery, using my arm and all, just with a stiff wrist that needs some more therapy to regain all the movement.

Goodbye, Grandma

Three days after surgery, my 92-year-old Grandma was ushered into heaven. While I was many miles away (Costa Rica to Canada), the messages from my mom and her siblings who went with her to the edge of the Jordan River let me know a bit of the sacredness of the moment.

Grandma was special, and while I only got to see her once in the last 10 years, so I admit we weren’t very close due to distance, I have only good memories of her. I, along with each of my cousins (over 70!) each got a blanket from her. My children are among the over 100 great-grandchildren she had at the time of her death

.These last few weeks, I have thought much about how Grandma was the last of my grandparents, and the last of my children’s great-grandparents earthside. And it aches to lose the last link to that generation, even though I know they are all just beyond the misty veil. Someday we will meet again.

I have also been reflecting on how blessed I have been to have just good memories of all my grandparents, and to have known them all, as well as one set of my husband’s grandparents. They were also really special to me.

All of them would have faults and failures if you look for them, but I believe all of them wanted the best for their children and grandchildren, and trusted in Jesus to be their Savior. I shall meet them all again in heaven someday.

What a challenge it has been to me lately to think of what legacy I am leaving for future generations. May the vision of Heaven stir us all on to do the best we can, by God’s grace.

Daily Life

Otherwise, the last few weeks have been very normal. Homeschooling is going really well, and we are winding up some subjects already as we end the year in November.

The rainiest time of the year is here, but most mornings we have some sun, so it’s not too bad.

God is so good to us.

This last while as I stepped back a bit from online writing etc. it did me a lot of good to reflect on what I want in life. But writing is in my bones, and I am getting all inspired again. Thank you for being here!

Read more.

I got two new posts up on my blog lately, and want to share them for those who are interested. One is my bread recipe, and the other one is encouragement for the young moms who are struggling to enjoy motherhood, even though it was all you ever dreamed of.

Simple Homemade White Sandwich Bread for Beginners

When You Realize You’re Not Enjoying Motherhood (Even Though It’s Your Dream Life)

May God bless you this coming week with His grace and Strength.

Till next time,

Melinda

It’s a tiny mission church, with only 20-30 people attending on a Sunday morning. That Sunday, there were at least 15 children there! For the first time in years, we are dividing them up into two Sunday school groups. It’s getting to be too much for one teacher to give them enough attention, and the older ones are ready for deeper discussions than we can give them in a group of 2-11-year-olds.

And our biweekly Saturday children’s Bible class has a regular attendance of over 30 children.

The tears of joy come to my eyes so easily when I see them all (and at times I also feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn’t know what to do!)

It’s all God’s work, answering my prayers in ways I never could have imagined.

You see, in the earliest days of my motherhood journey, I faced so much loneliness. It’s something that still almost hurts to think about. I have almost always been the youngest adult in our church (and many Sundays the only woman who wasn’t a grandma), and our children were often the only children attending in those first years.

I prayed for friends for my children. I prayed for friends for myself. We all prayed for a revival in our little town. For years, it seemed like nothing was happening.

In the last few years, we also had a family from the Dominican Republic who really encouraged us to start working with the children. They came and encouraged us and showed us how to do it simply when you are understaffed. When they were here, fewer than 10 children showed up.

But now, over two years later, we have well over 30 children showing up. And several parents are seeking God with us on Sunday morning. Most of them are around my age.

I tear up so easily these days. God is so good. I know statistics show that most who start seeking God give up along the way. But God is doing a work, and our hearts and hands are full.

Maybe this glimpse into our personal lives is almost too personal, but I want to share this to encourage you to pray for your children and yourself, and whatever the needs are. God can answer in ways you never dreamed possible.

Keep praying. Stay faithful.

He is doing work behind the scenes.

To that the old man responded, "Yes, I tremble. But the Rock on which I stand does not move."

What an assurance it can be for us. The Rock of Ages does not move!

This Rock is Jesus. Yes, He was broken so that from His side gushed water and blood to make us clean and whole, and He is there to protect us. We can hide in Him.

This hymn talks a lot about cleansing, and how we are nothing, but the Rock makes us whole. That is needed first and is precious beyond words. But I want to focus on the aspect of "Rock" today.

How often we need to come back to the Rock of Ages and ground and settle ourselves! As I get older I find more storms come my way, but I also find I don't fear them as much. The Rock has proved Himself to be a sure place.

The first time I left home at 18 years old to teach school on a mission island in Nicaragua, I faced all the storms I had never faced before. I still look back on it as one of the more trying times of my life. You see, I grew up in a strong Christian community full of friends.

I thought I was strong spiritually, but I found out a lot of my "foundation" was the fluff of good friends around me holding me up (not that they were bad, not at all! But they are not the rock.) I also found out that a lot of what I thought I believed was actually just mirroring what others around me believed.

The ground around me seemed so unsteady once I was "by myself." But I also discovered something that I now tell young women getting ready to leave the security of all they have ever known, for Christ. It's this: once you hit rock bottom, you find out where the Rock actually is, and then you can be truly confident of what you stand on.

When the storms come, when you seem to be sinking in the mire, look for the Rock. The rest is the things around you are just fluff or mire.

And join the thousands of Christians through the ages who have used these words as their battle cry, "Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee!"

The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted. Psalm 18:46

We always made sure we got males so we wouldn’t have to deal with a bunch of kittens. Some of them were really nice, especially our second-last one called Marshmallow. How I loved that little yellow/white cat, and how sad it was to find it was no longer alive.

Well, the girls started praying for a kitten every night. As parents, we weren’t actively looking for one at the time. Then one night, as we were putting the girls to bed, we heard some little meows just out the back door.

There were two sickly little kittens. I am not totally sure how they got there (probably someone dropped them off at the roadside), but the girls were convinced Jesus had sent them kittens. One of them was not healthy enough to survive long, but the other one (an ugly black thing, in my opinion) began to thrive.

That first night, as one of the girls was holding it, it looked up at her and she exclaimed, “It looks like an owl when it looks at me!” and so the kitten with eyes so big was named Owl.

The other kitten they had named Patches, and so when it died, they decided that Owl would become Owl Patches. Some time later, they decided that Owl also looks like a panther, and so she became Owl Patches Panther. More recently, I heard the girls talking about how she also walks like a skunk, and now her complete name is Owl Patches Panther Skunk!

Oh, and they told the neighbors that the kitten is called Lechuza (Spanish for Owl), so the neighbors call the cat Lechuza.

Five names for an ugly little kitten! Except this kitten actually grew up for us.

Owl is a female cat, but Jesus sent her, so what can we say? :) The girls begged that we allow her to have kittens just once before getting her fixed. We have never had newborn kittens, so we decided it was okay. What is more fun than newborn kittens for little girls, anyway?

I suppose we will soon be having kittens with the amount of neighborhood catfights around our yard the last couple of nights, all fighting for the position of father for those kittens, ha!

Owl (Lechuza) Patches Panther Skunk is living longer than about any other cat we have had, and that is one blessing. As she is a female, the dominating males in the area aren’t trying to annihilate her, and she rarely crosses the road either.

The way she tries to sneak into the house at any chance isn’t so nice either, but the way we haven’t had issues with mice for so long, and have seen that she is a good hunter, is all a huge blessing.

She is also a quiet cat, who doesn’t run around meowing for food all the time like some others we had (she just quietly sneaks it if we aren’t looking!) That is a big plus.

Owl Patches Panther Skunk was an ugly little female kitten that I didn’t really want. But she has proved to be a blessing in disguise with her longevity, good mousing skills, quietness, and, of course, the delight she gives our children.

Isn’t that how it often is? God sends things our way that we think we don’t like, but they end up being a blessing in disguise.

Like the song Blessings by Laura Story says:

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Whatever you are facing today, I pray that you find His blessings and mercies in disguise.

If homeschooling is your thing, I have recently written about our Second Grade Curriculum and our Homeschool Family Subjects.

We are more that half way through our school year, but if you are gearing up to start, check out my First Day of Homeschool Ideas.

You might also be interested in checking out my video on our Homeschool Day in the Life:

My eight year old daughter asked so many questions in the following days. All about life, death, accidents, hospitals, how he felt, and how his family feels.

She has always been a deep thinker. I have no idea where she comes up with all those questions.

I also didn’t have answers for most of her questions. I repeated “I don’t know” till I was quite tired of it.

But I also tried to be patient. Years ago I was the one asking my parents hundreds of questions, and I had many more I never asked.

Come to think of it, I still have many questions, just now I direct them at God. Questions about why things have to happen like they do. Why do young, healthy lives get taken? Why the suffering? Why? Why? Why?

He doesn’t always answer, though I am sure in eternity He will, whatever won’t be clear the moment we see His face.

But one thing I have learned in my last years: He stays near. He holds us.

Maybe it’s like when I hold my little son when he is upset and doesn’t understand. Sometimes I give up trying to explain, and just hold him till he calms down again.

Maybe God does the same. Maybe we wouldn’t be able to grasp it all if God did answer. But He doesn’t leave us alone. He doesn’t get impatient with our questions either.

And so, my little girl, I will try to be patient with your questions as well. I don’t have near all the answers. But I truly believe the moment we step into heaven, all will be clear. That’s a hope worth holding on to.

Till then, He is with us.

Remember that you are always welcome to read my articles on my blog https://connectingwithlittles.com/ where I share the things I learn while finding my way in motherhood.

I just graduated (most likely temporarily) out of the 2-under-2 phase, and honestly, it wasn’t at all what people had made it out to be. Of course, some days were (and still are) exhausting, but overall it was fun, joyful, and even a time of growth as a homemaker.

I remember back to when my toddler was first born, and now that was tough! I was just learning everything about being a mom, and I didn’t have any structure to my days. I remember so many days that felt busy, but where I got nothing done. While that was a sweet (and necessary) season, I’m thankful to have grown beyond that and feel like I’m truly thriving and having time for all the things that matter most to me.

I want you to thrive like this too! You can have all the time you need in the day while still being present for your kids and your husband (your most important job). All of us, myself included, often wish we had more than 24 hours in a day, but God has provided all of the time we need to fulfill what we’re called to do each day.

Make a routine, not a schedule

Days can be unpredictable with kids, and it’ll add stress to your life if you try to force your family to stay on a strict schedule. Instead, create a routine that can be modified depending on the day. Sometimes you may find yourself having a crazy day that didn’t go as planned. That’s okay! Just try to form your days around a general routine and let life happen and kids be kids.

What are your priorities?

When creating your routine, first think through your priorities. This doesn’t have to be a list of everything you must get done every day, but just the general things you want to build into your routine.

As an example, these are my priorities on a normal day (in no particular order):

• Take care of the kids (this includes everything from playing with them to changing diapers)

• Spend time with my husband

• Keep up the house

• Get myself fully dressed and put together

• Prepare food

• Read my Bible

• Spend time on my business

Some days not everything gets done perfectly, but these are the goals. If you’re in a short season different than your normal life (such as postpartum or moving), you may need to temporarily adjust your priorities.

Tips for Creating Your Routine

Get Ready for the Day

Getting fully dressed and ready for the day will make you feel so much better and help you be more productive.

Save Afternoon Nap Time for Yourself

While you could just knock out a bunch of housework during nap time, it’s important for you to have this time to do things that are difficult when the kids are awake. If you have a hobby, fun random project, or just need some time to put up your feet and read a good book, this is the time to do it!

Get Out of the House Each Day

I know this isn’t always possible, but when you can, try to get outside (or leave the house) each day. It will do wonders for both you and your kids!

Don’t Save Everything for After the Kids are in Bed

Get dinner cleaned up and the house back in order as much as possible before the kids get in bed. You’ll enjoy your evenings so much more if they’re spent with your spouse or doing something relaxing! On days I get behind, even if the house is a little messy, once the kids are in bed I only let myself do things that MUST be done before bed. This includes putting away any food that’s still out and loading the dishwasher. Pretty much everything else can usually wait until morning.

Be Flexible

Keep your priorities in mind so you know when to be flexible. It’s usually okay if dinner is a little late or if the house is messy because a child needed extra attention or you got in a long conversation with your husband. Know the things that are the most important to you so you can make good decisions on when to change up your routine.

Find a Planner that Works for You

Some people love using daily planners on their computers or phones and others prefer pen and paper. Experiment with a few different options to find what you like best. It will save you so much brain-space to have lists written down instead of trying to keep it all in the back of your mind.

As you reevaluate your routines, I want to challenge you to look at your life with a positive mindset, not as a victim. You CAN do everything God has called you to do -it’ll just take some wisdom, hard work, and creativity. If you truly can’t do certain things, then maybe God’s not called you to do them in this season, and you can happily let them go.

Violet Parcha is wife and mom passionate about helping women thrive in
their homes. On her blog Right at Home with Violet, you can find
delicious, nourishing recipes for various diets and allergies, natural
homemaking tips, and motherhood encouragement.

Read More By Violet:

How to Get Things Done with a Toddler – Secrets of Productive Moms:
https://rightathome.blog/how-to-get-things-done-with-a-toddler/

How to Survive the Newborn Stage (and Actually Enjoy It):
https://rightathome.blog/survive-the-newborn-stage/

My childhood years in Costa Rica until I turned eleven were happy. They were followed by even better years in Canada, where we lived until I was eighteen. We were part of a good-sized church, and I had lots of friends and social outings.

As an extrovert, I enjoyed being with others. My mom still tells how when we had visitors over for a meal (and it happened frequently), she and my sister needed a day to recover. On the other hand, I always had more energy the next day. I loved to plan and participate in activities. People have always energized me.

I have always been grateful for those youthful years. I sought God with all my heart and learned so much that has stayed with me. Now I realize that having so much goodness around me made me a bit weak; I depended on others, but God would teach me in later years to put my roots down deeper.

I was with people a lot, but I also took many walks by myself with God. In one of those walks He showed me a lesson that has stayed with me through the years. Way back in a lonely field I came upon a beautiful flower. I don’t remember what it looked like anymore, but I remember asking myself what the purpose of that flower was back there where no one could see and enjoy it.

Immediately, I felt God’s answer in my heart. That little flower wasn’t growing for the praise of men. It was simply blooming where God planted it, and that act of obedience was honoring God. It didn’t have to do more.

When I was eighteen, we got an interesting email. Would I be willing to go teach school on the island of Ometepe in Nicaragua? It was the chance to be the missionary I had always dreamed of!

So I sorted and packed up, said my goodbyes, and was on my way to a new adventure.

Missionary life is rarely as glamorous as it looks on the outside. I had been somewhat prepared, and yet that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. From a large, active youth group and friends of all ages to almost nothing, overnight. From lots of hugs to a culture that did not touch. From lots of dairy products to almost none. (How I missed my cheddar cheese!) Stuck out on a hot island where spending time with anyone else besides the people I was with took a full day of travel. It was a time of lots of tears and tests, the beginning of realizing just how proud and selfish I was.

We got through the school year, and by the time it was done my family had moved to Costa Rica again, so I went through another adjustment and new start. The next years had many ups and downs.

Three years later, as a young, happy bride, I moved just a couple hours from my family and childhood area. I have often told my husband that he brought me to one of the best places weather-wise.

But it’s been lonely.

I do have a wonderful husband and four precious children. I couldn’t ask for better in-laws, and my parents are just a couple hours away. But most of the time the only people in church (my closest community circle) younger than I have been my own children, and often I have been the only lady of childbearing age in church on Sunday morning.

Loneliness has been a real, deep ache. I would just love a bunch of mom friends, church activities, having people over for a meal, or being invited out. In the churches I grew up in, the ladies were always given meals after having a baby. I have my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and mom who help and make meals, and I am so grateful, but I still wish . . .

I go through seasons where I am fine, and other seasons where I ask God why someone like me, who would love to be with crowds, needs to be stuck back here where nothing seems to happen. We feel God calling us to stay, and love many things about this place, but it does have its downsides (like everywhere else in the world).

Recently it was brought to my attention that the verse we all love in Jeremiah 29, the verse about God’s thoughts to us being for good and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope, was written to people in captivity. God was telling them to be at rest in their captivity. Build houses, plant vineyards, give your children in marriage.

And I felt God whisper to me too. “Just rest where you are. It’s okay to be in ‘a land of captivity.’”

So one morning I slipped away for an early walk to ask God some hard questions, and I slowly opened my clenched fingers. “I need more close friends and heart conversations. Please show methe truth.”

He answered, “Jesus Christ is all you need.”

I kept arguing. “But then I want to at least know I mean something to You.”

“For God so loved the world . . .”

“But not the whole world collectively, I want to know you care about me personally,” I interrupted.

His answers in my heart were so quick and clear they surprised me. “The hairs of your head are all numbered.”

I didn't have more to argue. He had answered my prayer for His truth.

Sometimes I still go back to arguing with my Creator.

It doesn’t sound very much like a good Christian woman. I tell Him I want friends; I want people who care and send messages. He wants me to learn that He is enough.

I think of Christians who have spent years in isolation cells. God became so real to them there. And so in my home, my land of captivity, I once again kneel and build an altar where I offer my lonely heart to my Maker.

And quietly, He once more fills the empty spaces of my lonely heart. He is enough.

Sometimes I long to be seen, be remembered, have someone reach out to me, to say I mean something to them, but God reminds me that He sees me, and I am worth so much to Him. He reaches out to me.

If you are struggling with loneliness, I feel for you.

Look to God for satisfaction. With certainty, I can tell you that He will be there. I know no way to take away the ache, but when you seek God and cry on His shoulder, your roots will go deeper. You may not see the change, but looking back later, you will see that the things of earth can’t shake you, because He is your rock.

Count your blessings. I have failed badly at this. But when I see the care I do get, instead of the messages and visits I never get, I realize again that I am blessed.

Reach out to others. Sometimes I wish someone would reach out to me, but when I reach out to others who are lonely, it fills my cup too. If a visit isn’t possible, maybe a letter or a text is the way to go. It means so much to a lonely person to know someone is thinking of them.

And if you are lonely today, feel free to write to me. I can’t take loneliness away, but maybe together we can share about the One who truly fills our needy hearts.

May God bless you richly today.

Read More:

How to Make a Happy Home for Your Family

When it Hurts to Love: Following Jesus’ Example As Moms

Counting Your Blessings (One of the Best Habits to Have)

What does that look like in real life?

Do the Best You Can

This has recently convicted me in several areas of my life, one of which is how much exercise I am getting. The best I can is certainly not nothing, even though it’s not much. So it’s a quick early walk before my family wakes up.

Another area has been my homemaking and order. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed, but I remember to do the best I can. And it is a good push to get me up and working on something when I just feel like lying around.

With What You Have

I tend to make excuses. It would be easier if I had some place to go for walks besides the main road for my exercise. Organizing my home would be so much easier if I had a bit more space.

But it’s about doing the best you can with what you have, which is certainly better than nothing at all.

In the Season You Are In

Getting in workouts has been easier in other seasons, because now homeschooling and all keep me pretty busy. But in this season, I can still do a bit better in a few areas of my life.

If you are in a pregnancy or early postpartum season, it just won’t look the same as for someone in a different season.

With the passing of time, I am slowly learning to accept the seasons of “less productivity.” I love the bustle and produce of “summer,” but “winter” is needed for rest as well.

So that is my encouragement for you this week. It may not be exactly from the Bible, and yet I believe it is supported by the Bible. Especially since we can do what we need through Christ who strengthens us.

Maybe write this down so you can remember it this week, and do the best you can, with what you have, in the season you are in.

It doesn’t leave me with excuses, really.

If you are interested in reading more:

Encouragement for the Overwhelmed Mom of Little Ones

Simple Ways to be a Better Mom

How to Make a Happy Home for Your Family

38 Encouraging Bible Verses for Moms

But the truth is that I had been struggling this year so far. Since my accident and all I just felt overwhelmed a lot. I had been praying a lot about it and thankfully the last two weeks have gone very well.

It has been such a joy to be able to enjoy homemaking and housekeeping again. And to be able to laugh and play with my children more.

If you are struggling to find that joy, I pray you can find it soon again. It feels so good to enjoy what needs to be done and to not feel so overwhelmed.

Here are the things I worked on that I feel have made the biggest difference.

Prayer

When I just couldn’t seem to get beyond my overwhelm, I asked God often to help me find a way. I wanted the joy back. I believe He answered and showed me a way.

Health

I ordered a hormone-balancing tincture as I felt like that was part of the problem. It seems like it is making a big difference in how I feel and I am so grateful. Remember, in order to care well for our families, we need to take care of ourselves too.

Health struggles are one of the biggest things to bring me down, and it’s an area where I need to learn to depend on God for strength when I don’t have it on my own. But I am grateful to be feeling more energy and ambition again.

I also have started exercising a bit more again, mostly by playing with my children at recess.

Cutting out Overstimulation

Another thing that has helped me a lot was some videos by Transformed Homemaker’s Society that helped me see that some of my overwhelm was from overstimulation. To help with that I set up my phone in such a way that I can’t access any search engines or social media, except for during one hour of the day.

I will admit that I realized that when I feel overwhelmed I easily reach for my phone, which of course just makes the problem worse. These changes and controls on my phone (with app lockers and a password only my husband knows) have helped me focus on other ways to deal with overwhelm.

If that is a struggle of yours, I encourage you to try cutting out some of the overstimulation as well. It feels so good.

A plan for the coming weeks

Yesterday someone kindly reminded me that maybe I am putting to much on my plate again. I tend to do that whenever I feel well. God had already told me with the way January turned out that I should slow down.

So I am working on not adding anything more to my schedule for the coming time, and to do the best I can with what I have in the meantime.

It is such a joy to enjoy doing what I need to do. I hope you are enjoying your life as well, and if not, I hope you find the joy again as well.

And I didn’t know how to go on. I told God several times that it was too much. There was no way I could fulfill all my duties as wife, mother, and friend.

In those moments of desperation, I sometimes wonder why He allows too much to be asked of us.

But then I remembered again that we need to come to these places where we. just. can’t. Because only there do we realize how much we need God’s help.

Only there do we utterly depend on God and others doing what needs to be done.

Only there do we learn to focus on what truly matters and is the most important.

I dislike very much feeling as though I am unable to do what I think I need to do. I suspect many of us put more on our plate than we are able to handle.

But in the end, it’s He who needs to work in and through us, and who teaches us that we can’t and shouldn’t do it all ourselves.

Another day when the darkness of some circumstances threatened to melt me into a puddle of tears, I admit I was wondering where else I could go. This God who I follow does things I think don’t make any sense.

But I soon realized (again) that there was nowhere else to go, and I have been serving Him for enough years that I know that somehow He will work it all out. The song that goes, “God will make a way, where there seems to be no way…” has been going through my mind a lot.

And He brings joy in the morning. There have also been many days where I feel His hand leading our days and blessing us in so many ways. No other Master would do that for His followers.

I want to focus on that in the coming days.

So whatever you are going through may be too much.

But He is enough, and I know He will see you through.

God will make a way.

Also Check Out:

Encouraging Bible Verses for Moms