[Reminder: I just launched a literary journal called Ruminations. Visit our website. We’re also accepting submissions for visual art, fiction, and nonfiction on a rolling basis. Subscribe to us on Substack, too!]

As I practically chewed on my beer last night, prior to the first polls closing, traumatic memories of Trump’s last win returned to my mind. I recalled anxiously waiting at the polls to cast my vote on that cool November evening. But somehow, when I went early in the morning this time around, something felt… different. Nevertheless, when evening arrived, as my husband and I settled in to watch the news, and I began monitoring every social media platform possible, especially trusted sources on Twitter (I cannot bring myself to call it X), that nervousness emerged again.

As most of you know, I’ve just founded and launched a new literary journal called . The brilliant columnist just wrote an incredible piece titled “A Ruminations of One’s Own” in which he delves into the etymology of “to ruminate,” explaining its negative connotations. So, here I was, on election night, ruminating, chewing on my beer, furiously afraid of the turnout.

Ruminations

A Rumination of One’s Own

[Reminder: We just launched Ruminations! Our website went live a few days ago, and we’re accepting submissions for poetry, art, fiction, and nonfiction until October 30th. Subscribe to us here, too…

Read more

12 days ago · 18 likes · 7 comments · Ruminations

But then the polls closed, and we all know what happened after that. This turnout wasn’t just the blue wave so many have told us would come for years, and yet never did. This was a fucking tsunami, crushing the GOP in race after race after race.

I am from the state of Kansas, so you can imagine my delight when Democrat and Pastor Adam Hamilton won there, becoming the first Democrat to win in the state since 1932. 1932, people. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for being a part of history and electing him—your votes mattered.

But then you glance at Nebraska right now, and the vote margins are slim. We’re talking about fucking Nebraska, folks.

After that, I practically had whiplash when they called Democrat Josh Turek in Iowa, which flipped that Senate seat—another historic vote.

Even Mississippi is close, with Colom leading. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MISSISSIPPI GODDAMN.

And I am here to tell you, with everything I just wrote above—Kansas, Iowa, Iowa, Mississippi—Democrats need to get their shit together and stop ignoring these places and acting as if they are lost causes, because clearly they are not.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the huge wins in both Texas and Michigan. Hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars were dumped into these campaigns to beat U.S. Senator-elect James Talarico and U.S. Senator-elect Abdul El-Sayed. But the people’s voices were heard instead, and the parasitic bunker class failed with their wads of cash in hand to win this time around. Texas, another state where I’ve resided, is now blue—just like its state flower, the bluebonnet. And so is Michigan, with Abdul El-Sayed at the helm. Hip-hip-fucking-hooray!

I should also mention that I’ve lived in Maine, too, and, well, let’s just say to “I’m-very-concerned”-turncoat-Collins, don’t let the door hit you in the ass when you move out of your home in Bangor (lol), which was just a stone’s throw away from the Victorian home where I lived several years ago.

And the wins just kept coming! I haven’t even mentioned the House races or the historic governorships, with multiple Black governors winning. As it stands, the Democrats have won 228 seats in the House, with projections that they will win 250+ total.

Here’s what the Senate looks like right now:

What a sight to behold! THE SENATE IS BLUE.

On all these notes, don’t you ever listen to another fucking soul that tells you voting doesn’t matter (yes, there are people on this app that have been squealing about that—white people dripping in privilege who lack self-awareness and apparently have forgotten that Black people in this country died so that other Black people could have the fucking right to vote. Incidentally, this is a part of voter suppression).

Now the reckoning begins. As many of you are also saying here on Substack, other social media platforms, and around your kitchen tables, the real work begins now. But today, we celebrate. We’re allowed to do that. This is a joyous occasion, and we should take a moment to breathe, smile, and celebrate these historic wins. Give folks a high five, hug, or a smile!

But then, as we all know, accountability comes next—serious accountability, so watch this space for that information. I’m not just talking about impeachment (and I’m not just referring to Trump in saying that), but criminal charges, the taking down of certain agencies, serious jail time, and so forth.

Today, though, let’s rejoice. We got the assignment right, as people in other countries told us to do.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

These bi-weekly best reads roundups have turned out to be one of the most crucial things I’ve written in my career so far—it’s not the content (I mean my content, not the brilliant things I share with you). But the idea behind them, so here’s lookin’ again at you, Mona Mona, for the inspiration and how it’s led me to this point. Over the last few weeks, now that I’ve launched Ruminations, I’ve been helping the editors go through the submissions we have already received. It’s a painstaking process, one that is humbling, as we feel a great deal of responsibility for, given how much time and effort people put into their projects to submit them to us or other publications, then bravely wait to see if we’ll accept their work. But the idea behind the journal itself began with this concept: the bi-weekly best reads roundups. I eventually thought, “Why not launch a journal to share great work by people, instead of annotating it on my Substack?” And here we are now. I have a crew of brilliant collaborators (columnists and editors), amazing work being submitted, and soon we’ll share our first complete issue at the end of November.

Several years ago, I bought the oil painting you see above of a Dutch windmill, depicting it on a still summer day, for my husband’s birthday (if memory serves me). I’ve lived in the Netherlands, Maastricht, to be precise, and I think back now to seeing these windmills there during the summer, sitting quietly on a full and warm summer day, with enormous, voluminous clouds slowly moving over them, while birds flitted about near the fields, filled with cattle or sheep. Those were the days when stillness settled into me, letting me think calmly about things, yearning in the best of possible ways. These bi-weekly best reads roundups enable me to do the same, so I’m ever-so-grateful to other Substackers here for sharing their superb writing. I credit them for inspiring me to launch my literary magazine. I experience a profound sense of stillness when reading other people’s work.

So, with all that said, let’s get to it and review the latest reads I’ve found.

First up is a piece by , titled “What Happened to Jerard Jay Jackson?” If you aren’t subscribed to Jackie A., do it now. She is doing the heavy lifting the rest of us desperately need to do, too. She inspires me every day to show up and denounce racism with my whole chest. Jackson’s piece is part of her series called the Substracted.

Jackie's Academy

What Happened to Jerard Jay Jackson?

Y’all, the Jerard Jay Jackson case is almost tailor-made for The Subtracted because it hits one of the patterns I keep pointing people toward: a Black man dies under suspicious circumstances, law enforcement moves quickly toward a conclusion, contradictions start stacking up, and before the family gets any meaningful damn answers, evidence, timelines, a…

Read more

4 days ago · 48 likes · 4 comments · Jackie A.

In this piece, she’s investigating the undeniably suspicious death of Jerard Jay Jackson. But Jackie A. has been writing about Black deaths like Jackson’s for a long time, and patterns have emerged—deeply disturbing ones that can only lead us to conclude that these are not accidental. Far from it. Lynchings are back with a vengeance in the U.S., and Jackie A. dissects them for us, one by one, with facts, research, and ferocious intensity.

Read this account about Jackson, along with the others that Jackie A. writes about on her Substack.

Strange Fruit haunts me, as does Mississippi Goddamn whenever I read Jackie’s work, particularly the latter, given the preponderance of these lynchings occurring in that dismal state (that said, it’s not the only place where these murders are taking place). So, again, smash that subscribe button and, even better, support her by pledging to her—she needs our financial help to continue her critical work.

Next up is a great piece by titled “Why the Killing of Clergy and Destruction of Churches in Ukraine Demands Global Attention.” As SleuthyFella aptly points out, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has been measured by “staggering human losses: hundreds of thousands of casualties, millions displaced, entire cities reduced to rubble.” However, what hasn’t been discussed is the obliteration of religious sites and those communities.

Anonymous Letter Writer

Why the Killing of Clergy and Destruction of Churches in Ukraine Demands Global Attention

Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine has already been measured in staggering human losses: hundreds of thousands of casualties, millions displaced, entire cities reduced to rubble. Yet among the statistics of war is another category of destruction that receives far less attention. It is the destruction of faith communities and the people who sustain them…

Read more

2 days ago · 1 like · 1 comment · SleuthyFella

SleuthyFella points out that, with genocide experts’ investigations of the attacks on these sites and their concomitant communities, this indicates genocide and crimes against humanity. On October 31st, SleuthyFella explains, “Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy stated that approximately 120 members of the clergy have been killed by Russian forces since the beginning of the full-scale invasion and that around 800 religious institutions have been damaged or destroyed. According to Zelenskyy, these were not accidental casualties of war but deliberate attacks directed at clergy, churches, and religious institutions.”

That’s a startling figure. 800 religious institutions have been either damaged or destroyed by Russian attacks and assaults on the country.

Read the entire piece for all the details. It’s well-researched, documented, and an in-depth explanation of this particular topic. And as I always say, smash that subscribe button or, better yet, pledge to .

The third piece I’ve chosen is titled “The Value of Commemorations” by Dan Gardner, which explores why public history matters. This piece really excited me because Dan visited Baltimore, where, as many of you know, I live. While Dan visited, he explored the exact part of town where I reside—the Inner Harbor—and that’s where he discovered a commemorative sculpture of the famous abolitionist, philosopher, and essayist, Frederick Douglass. I’m lucky because I walk by this sculpture regularly and am reminded of one of my favorite heroes from American history.

PastPresentFuture

The Value of Commemorations

I travel for work far more than I’d like. The worst of it is the endless waiting. The best is the surprising history I sometimes stumble across…

Read more

a day ago · 57 likes · 15 comments · Dan Gardner

Dan delves into Douglass’ history: when he was born, how he didn’t know how to read and write, how he eventually learned, and more. It’s a wonderful reminder of Douglass’ history as well as other historical details about a Swiss town called Pontresina that Dan recently visited. So, smash that subscribe button or pledge to him.

Our final piece is a wonderful cultural description of Moldovan events occurring in the fall. It’s by and titled “The Month Ahead: Theatre and Film Festivals, Musical Milestones and the Start of Chișinău’s Indoor Season.” It immediately made me think of South Korea’s1 seasonal change, especially Chuseok, a fall harvest holiday, in September. Once Chuseok takes place, the air turns chilly, just as Chris describes in his pieces about Moldova, and Moldovans shift from outdoor activities to indoor ones. With that said, you know what to do (hint: smash that subscribe button or pledge to Chris).

Moldova Matters

The Month Ahead: Theatre and Film Festivals, Musical Milestones and the Start of Chișinău’s Indoor Season

Autumn is here and the weather is starting to turn colder. Moldovans have spent the last few weeks making wine and preserving the last of their tomatoes and cucumbers for consumption later in winter. While the sky might be greyer and the days shorter, that doesn’t mean there is a shortage of things to do in Moldova…

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a day ago · 4 likes · Chris Flowers

As I always say, love one another and be kind to each other. Also, tell fascists to fuck right off! On that note, I’ll leave you with the beautiful anti-fascist song “Bella Ciao” again this time ‘’round (scroll to the bottom to listen).

Song lyrics in Italian

Una mattina mi son’ svegliato,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
Una mattina mi son’ svegliato,
E ho trovato l’invasor.

O partigiano, portami via,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
O partigiano, portami via,
Ché mi sento di morir.

E se io muoio da partigiano,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
E se io muoio da partigiano,
Tu mi devi seppellir.

E seppellire lassù in montagna,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
E seppellire lassù in montagna,
Sotto l’ombra di un bel fior.

Tutte le genti che passeranno,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
Tutte le genti che passeranno,
Mi diranno: Che bel fior!

E quest’ è il fiore del partigiano,
O bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao!
Bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
E quest’è il fiore del partigiano,
Morto per la libertà.

E quest’è il fiore del partigiano,
Morto per la libertà.

English Translation

One morning I woke up,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
One morning I woke up,
And I found the invader.

Oh, partisan, take me away,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
Oh, partisan, take me away,
For I feel like dying.

And if I die as a partisan,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
And if I die as a partisan,
You must bury me.

And bury me up there in the mountain,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
And bury me up there in the mountain,
Under the shadow of a beautiful flower.

All the people passing by,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
All the people passing by,
Will tell me: What a beautiful flower!

And this is the flower of the partisan,
Oh, my beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye!
My beautiful, goodbye, bye, bye!
And this is the flower of the partisan,
Who died for freedom.

And this is the flower of the partisan,
Who died for freedom.

Further Reading

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We discussed a myriad of amazing topics, but I wanted to mention that we referenced two of my pieces in this discussion, which I’ve included below. They were “Body Fascism, Speaking Out About Ariana Grande, and Understanding That She’s Dying Because I Was Once, Too” and “It’s Time to Remember, and to Go Home.”

I am a huge fan of Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. She inspired this recipe, and I have made it my own.

There isn’t anything better than making a roast when the weather is chilly outside, it’s overcast, and you can make a fire to cozy up next to with your favorite book, your pet(s), or a loved one, while smelling your delectable roast cooking in the oven. Right now, as I write this, I’m imagining all those flavors wafting through the air. It’s making me want to make this roast again this coming weekend, and then eat a piece of my fall apple pie afterward!

But this recipe needs to be shared, so let’s get to it.

Estimated time: 3 and 1/2 hours+

Serves: 6-9, depending upon portions (I freeze half of it after making it, and we eat it over the week, and it’s as good after being frozen as it is fresh)

Ingredients (19):

1 (5-pound) prime boneless beef chuck roast, tied

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

All-purpose flour

Good olive oil

1 small bag of potatoes (I like the kind that has the different colored potatoes)

16 oz. button mushrooms, sliced

2 cups chopped yellow onions (2 onions)

2 cups chopped carrots

2 cups chopped celery

2 chopped leeks, including the green parts (trim off the tips and the bottoms) x

8 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed

2 tablespoons Cognac or brandy

2 cups of good red wine, such as a Barolo

2 (28-ounce) cans of whole plum tomatoes in purée

2 cups of beef stock, preferably homemade

1 large spoonful of Better Than Bouillon, Organic Beef Based syrup

6 branches fresh thyme

6 branches fresh rosemary

1 tablespoon unsalted butter, at room temperature

Tools that You’ll Need

• Colander

• Cheesecloth

• Twine

• Scissors

• Large plate for chuck roast

• Large Pyrex dish

• Knife (As I said in my previous pieces, and I’ll say over and over again, I invested in two Japanese knives made by Imarku, one of which is the 7” cleaver knife that is currently on sale for $47—it’s the one linked to Imarku’s name. It’s usually $129. I use it for everything. Kyoku is another great option.)

• Roasting pan or large Dutch Oven

• Tin foil (if you’re using a roasting pan)

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

1. Wash the potatoes in a colander. Cut the potatoes in half. Put aside.

2. Pat the beef dry with a paper towel. Season the roast generously with salt and pepper, covering all sides. Next, dredge the whole roast in flour in your Pyrex dish, including its ends.

3. Using the twine and scissors, tie the thyme and rosemary tightly in the cheesecloth so the herbs stay inside. Put aside.

4. In either a roasting pan or large Dutch oven, heat 3-4 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Add the roast and sear on all sides for 4 to 5 minutes, until it’s nicely browned. Each side should take 4-5 minutes. Once you’re through, remove the roast to a large plate.

5. Add 2 tablespoons to either your roasting pan or Dutch oven. Add the carrots, onions, leeks, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper. Cook over medium heat for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until tender (don’t let them brown).

6. Add the wine and cognac and bring to a boil. Add the tomatoes, beef stock, the large spoonful of Beef syrup, potatoes, and mushrooms. Stir together well. Add the cheesecloth that contains the thyme and rosemary. Return the roast to the pot, bring it back to a boil, and cover briefly.

7. Next, place the roast in the oven for 2 and a half hours, until the meat is tender, about 160 degrees. After about an hour, turn the heat down to keep the sauce at a simmer.

8. Once the meat is around 160 degrees internally, remove the roast to a cutting board. Throw away the cheesecloth. Skim off three to four cups of the sauce, along with the carrots, leeks, onions, and mushrooms, and purée the liquid and vegetables in a blender or food processor fitted with a steel blade until smooth.

9. Pour the purée back into the pot, place on the stovetop over low heat, and return the sauce to a simmer. In a small bowl, mash 2 tablespoons flour and butter together with a fork. Stir into the sauce and simmer for 2 minutes, stirring until thickened. Taste and season to your liking. Remove the string from the roast and slice the roast. Serve the meat with the sauce and vegetables spooned over it. Add microgreens as a garnish. Enjoy!

Full disclaimer: as you all know, I am the editor-in-chief of Ruminations. That said, two of the pieces I’ve chosen below are objectively fantastic, so that’s why I’m sharing them, despite having worked with both the authors.

Buy Me A Coffee. K, Thx.

Once again, I find myself sharing the bi-weekly best reads roundups with you—something I love doing. I wanted to give a special shoutout again to who inspired me to start this project, as she does the same thing on her Substack (here’s her latest—hers is a bit different than mine). So, without further ado, as we are wont to do, er, say, let’s jump into it.

1. The first piece, “Invisible Machines and the Society of the Spectacle,” is by Ruminations’ Columnist . It opens with Rucker attending Il Risveglio degli Dei (“The Reawakening of the Gods”), where the gods and goddesses of Olympus have descended upon Fifth Avenue.

   Ruminations

   Invisible Machines and the Society of the Spectacle

   Last week, I watched the gods of Olympus descend upon Fifth Avenue. Il Risveglio degli Dei (“The Reawakening of the Gods”), a theatre production from Agrigento, Sicily, let loose on the streets of New York City in costumes of Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite, along with a few other members of the company…

   Read more

   15 days ago · 15 likes · Ruminations

   The metaphor is apt, as Rucker pivots to Larry Fink and BlackRock, a bond trader who crashed out at First Boston and lost $100 million. That scandal all seems quaint now with the current administration grifting and implementing insane tariffs willy-nilly, all of which “makes us feel trapped in perpetual economic whiplash.” Read the piece to learn what Rucker concludes about the mess we’re in, and how it relates to Greek oracles and more.

2. Next up is the intrepid and her piece titled “A White Supremacist Told Me To Kill Myself.” This one is a maddening essay, but also cathartic in how she recounts the tale.

A. Eevie Bateman

A White Supremacist Told Me To Kill Myself

A white supremacist Nazi, with the name Freedom Fighter SS, told me to kill myself because I’m married to a Black man. He called me a traitor to a thousand years of evolution and said I’d flushed it all down the toilet by race-mixing. I think he expected me to be scared, or ashamed, or wounded or something. Instead I just rolled my eyes…

Read more

10 days ago · 241 likes · 103 comments · A. Eevie Bateman

Bateman provides us with the immediate background as to why a pathetic white supremacist, who’s named “Freedom Fighter SS,” told her to kill herself: she’s married to a Black man. She adds:

He called me a traitor to a thousand years of evolution and said I’d flushed it all down the toilet by race-mixing. I think he expected me to be scared, or ashamed, or wounded, or something. Instead, I just rolled my eyes…

Bateman, excuse the bold, cursing language, tears this loser a new asshole, and I’m here for it, and I’m not surprised. Bateman is ever bold, like usual. Read the entire piece for insight into what it means to be an anti-racist fighter. It’s well worth it.

3. Next up is another piece published in (I swear, I won’t mention pieces all the time from my journal, but these two published essays were just so freakin’ brilliant). This one is by and is titled “A Rumination of One’s Own.”

Ruminations

A Rumination of One’s Own

[Reminder: We just launched Ruminations! Our website went live a few days ago, and we’re accepting submissions for poetry, art, fiction, and nonfiction until October 30th. Subscribe to us here, too…

Read more

10 days ago · 12 likes · 5 comments · Ruminations

Hammar explores the etymology of “to ruminate,” 15th-century girdle-books, his ethnographic work in Papua New Guinea, and more. It’s funny, yet informative. Another piece worth reading in its entirety, like the two I mentioned above.

Buy Me a Coffee! K, Thx.

4. The final piece is by and is titled “Where are Taylor Swift and Beyoncé When We Need Them Most?” (Incidentally, Stevens and I did a Live together recently, so if you missed it, check it out here. It’s worth a watch!)

We Need A Black Woman In Charge

Where Are Taylor Swift And Beyoncé When We Need Them Most?

I think that many of you would argue that these are the most consequential elections of our lifetimes. Over the last year and a half, we’ve seen what the Trump Administration is capable of. From brazenly kidnapping families off the streets in broad daylight to targeting political adversaries and critics to bombing elementary scho…

Read more

10 days ago · 116 likes · 34 comments · Zuri Stevens

As we all know, and Stevens points out in the first sentence, the Midterms will be massively consequential. The Trump regime is more than just dangerous. They are murderous grifters, a regime currently hollowing out the country while lining their pockets and their cronies’. We need to stop them, and the Midterms will shape this country's future (so get out and vote!). Stevens asks the accurate question, then, and I’ll ask it even more sharply, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THESE CELEBRITIES?” It’s a great read, so make sure to click it and read her thoughts.

As I always say, smash those subscribe buttons for everyone I’ve referenced. Even better, pay for their work!

Also, stay tuned for Cryn’s Monthly Nomination for Outstanding Substacker. I’m resurrecting that series, too. The last one was . The upcoming one is . So, keep an eye out for that write-up.

Finally, as I always say, live life to the fullest each day. Make sure to hug and kiss your loved ones and friends. Finally, if you’re interested in becoming a paid subscriber, I’d greatly appreciate it. If you don’t wish to become a subscriber but respect my work and research, and read me often, you can always buy me a coffee. (I know things are tight; trust me, that’s why I’m making this pitch. I rely on every dollar readers give me, so your support means so much to me.)

Further Reading

So, I already made an apple tart tatin, but this fall apple pie is quite different. It’s a delectable filling packed with flavor, and I replace half a cup of water with a strong apple brandy. You don’t have to, but it makes the filling even more delightful.

I made this apple pie last weekend for a cookout with our lovely neighbors, and we devoured every single piece by the end of the evening. In my view, it wouldn’t be a proper dish without a dollop of French vanilla ice cream, which everyone wanted.

So, with that said, let’s dive into the recipe. First up, the crust. I doubled the recipe, so that you have enough to make the lattice top.

Estimated time: 2 and 1/2 hours

Serves: 6-8 people

Pastry Shell

Ingredients (6):

• 4 cups European flour (scooped and leveled) — I buy Italian or French flour because the wheat is lighter than American wheat, so it makes the crust more airy and delicate.

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/2 tsp sugar

• 4 sticks chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch bits

• 8 TB chilled shortening

• A scant half cup of iced water, plus a tablespoon or two more as needed

Tools that You’ll Need

• Large metal mixing bowl

• Measuring spoons

• Measuring cups

• Knife (As I said in my previous pieces, and I’ll say over and over again, I invested in two Japanese knives made by Imarku, one of which is the 7” cleaver knife that is currently on sale for $47—it’s the one linked to Imarku’s name. It’s usually $129. I use it for everything. Kyoku is another great option.)

• Plastic wrap or wax paper

• 9-inch pie pan

DIRECTIONS

1. Set oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Place the leveled flour, salt, sugar, bits of butter, and vegetable shortening in a large mixing bowl.

3. Rub the flour and fat together quickly between your fingertips until the fat is broken into pieces about the size of oatmeal flakes. It’s important to break down the fat with the flour. However, don't overdo this step, since you'll blend the fat more thoroughly later.

4. Add the water and blend quickly with one hand. I keep my fingers together and cup the dough as I gather it into a ball, picking up any smaller pieces that stick to the sides. I go from right to left, but that’s my preference. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of water over the dough, then quickly shape it into a ball if you haven’t already. At this point, it should hold together on its own. Now it’s time for the fraisage, which means final blending.

5. After washing and drying your hands, lightly flour your countertop or pastry board. Place the ball of dough on the lightly floured area. With the heel of your hand, shove half of it across the floured area. Use the heel of your hand, as it isn’t too warm. This smeared area of dough should be about 6 inches long. This is the final blending of fat and flour, or, as stated above, fraisage.

6. Using either a cake scraper or spatula, gather the dough again, then knead it briefly to form a smooth ball. Sprinkle it with a little flour, then wrap it in wax paper or plastic wrap.

7. Refrigerate for 1 hour. (Uncooked pastry dough will stay in the refrigerator for 2 to 3 days. You can also freeze it for several weeks. Just make sure it’s airtight when you wrap it.)

MAKING THE APPLE FILLING

While your dough sits in the refrigerator, make the apple pie filling.

Ingredients (8):

• 2 1/4 lbs Granny Smith Apples (about 6-7 apples, yielding 7 cups peeled, cored, and thinly sliced)

• 4 tsp cinnamon

• 8 Tbsp unsalted butter

• 3 Tbsp flour

• 1/2 cup water

• 1/2 cup Cactoctin Apple Brand or an apple brandy of your choice (optional, but if you don’t use this ingredient, the water needs to be 1 cup)

• 1 cup granulated sugar

• 1 egg, for egg wash

Tools that You’ll Need

• Core cutter

• Peeler

• Measuring cups

• Pastry brush

• Medium-sized saucepan

• Whisk

Directions

1. Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat.

2. Whisk in 3 Tbsp flour, then simmer for 1 minute, whisking constantly.

3. Whisk in 1 cup water and 1 cup of apple brandy until combined, and then whisk in 1 cup sugar. Bring to a soft simmer and cook for 3 minutes, stirring often, then remove from heat. Your sauce should be viscous, but pourable. Do not overcook it. Remove from heat, add 4 tsp of cinnamon and stir.

4. Next, prepare the apples. Peel, core, and slice apples and place them in a large bowl. Pour apples into the sauce. Mix and coat them thoroughly. Set aside.

ROLLING OUT YOUR DOUGH, LATTICING YOUR PIE, AND BAKING IT

1. After the dough has been in the refrigerator for an hour or more, take it out and cut it in half. Lightly sprinkle a marble board or other hard surface with flour. Quickly roll the dough into a circle that fits your 9-inch pie pan. Next, fold the dough into the pie pan, pinching the sides and shaping the edges. If any dough remains, use a knife to discard it.

2. Next, clean and dry the surface area. Lightly sprinkle flour on it again. Again, quickly roll the dough into a circle that fits your 9-inch pie pan. Once it reaches that size, use your knife and cut it into 1-inch strips. Put aside.

3. Fill the pie pan with the filling, making sure to evenly spread it out.

4. Next, weave the the 1-inch strips back and forth to create a latticed-appearance on top of the filling. The technique is to weave them over and under one another across the pie, and then molding them at the edges to fit the end of the dough around the pan.

5. Place the pie into the oven at the center, which was set at 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake for 15 minutes at this temperature. Reduce the heat to 325 degrees Fahrenheit, and back for another 45 minutes or until the apples are soft or the filling is bubbling. You can test the apples with a fork to see if they are tender. If the edges of your pie become too brown, or the entire pie does while you’re baking it, you can either tent the edges with aluminum foil, or cover it entirely.

6. Once the pie is baked, remove it from the oven, and let it cool for 1 hour. Serve with French vanilla ice cream, and enjoy!

Thank you , , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video with ! Join me for my next live video in the app.

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Again, I was so appreciative that Zuri put time aside to talk with me and share some really vulnerable, raw things about her experiences as a Black woman, with me and everyone else listening.

We also talked about giving back to our communities, being neighborly, and showing kindness to others. It was an all-around fantastic conversation. Well worth watching.

In solidarity,

Cryn

I discovered Tasha Webster’s art on Threads one Tuesday morning when I went to the art thread to simply enjoy artists’ work while drinking coffee and having a cigarette. Her handle—gullahgeecheeart—immediately intrigued me, so I looked up her profile. Tasha describes herself as “Gullah Geechee Multidisciplinary Artist and Inventor, exploring culture & identity through mixed media & tech.” Because I have deep respect for the Gullah Geechee people, I wanted to know more about her. I went to her feed and discovered her pinned thread, which you can read below.

That first image next to her, one of her paintings, was so profoundly distinct, interesting, and notable that I had to see more of her work, so I immediately went to her website. Everything blew me away. But one piece in particular, “Am I An Asset Or A Liability,” painted in 2022, gripped me. I had to know more, so I messaged her, and she got back to me within minutes.

It’s from her “Layers of Abstract Thoughts” Series. Webster told me the painting explores her own micro-experiences and questions she often doesn’t see others addressing or considering openly. It also delves into how she shows up alongside others, asking: Are we contributing to each other’s growth and happiness, or hurting one another?

The tension in the eye clearly open haunts me, and the frenetic circle around the one you can't see puts my nervous system on alert! The entire painting provides me with a glimpse of Webster as a person, and that intrigues me. It’s the opposite of the depiction she pinned on her Threads above: that of a smiling, confident, calm woman. Naturally, she can be both, and, as she told me, this painting, “Am I An Asset Or A Liability,” explores relationships and whether one is growing or stagnating in one. Plus, I shouldn’t assume it’s a self-portrait, since she didn’t say it was. I’m inferring here.

As I write this short essay, I'm gazing at it, and I’m beyond delighted I bought it from her. I also think it’s critical to support Black artists, so I was really happy when I opened Ms. Webster's box and found the buttons she sent me.

On top of the buttons and the phenomenal painting, Ms. Webster also sent a beautiful handwritten card, something that one doesn’t often receive from people nowadays. (Only my Mom and Dad send me handwritten cards, and my dear pal Kierra, who used to walk our dogs, but departed for sunny California last year—she is sorely missed.) I was so appreciative, too. Here’s what Ms. Webster wrote:

Cryn,

I cannot thank you enough for supporting and believing in my work. In a world full of amazingly talented visual artists, you chose me !!

♡ Thank you ♡

♡ Tasha

I received this short note and the painting earlier this afternoon, and it absolutely made my day. I made sure to ask Ms. Webster for permission to post her sweet note, and she was more than happy to let me do so.

Make sure to check out her work.

Again, here’s her website —> https://www.tashatheartist.com/

And, as I said above, support Black artists like her! Again, what a gift to receive. I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life, and I suspect I will purchase more of her art in the future. Perhaps one or more of you will do the same!

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Submissions for are now open! Click here to submit your poetry, art, fiction, or nonfiction.

Questions, answered.

Ruminations

Questions, answered.

Please read through these questions carefully. Thanks so much…

Read more

19 days ago · 5 likes · Ruminations Magazine

Well, the day has come. Submissions are now live for Ruminations! To submit poetry, art, fiction, or nonfiction, visit: https://ruminationsliterarymagazine.subfolios.com/submit. The accompanying image on the site, an iris set against black, is an oil painting my mother created well over 25 years ago. Plus, the artwork for this month was done by , our lead poetry and fiction editor.

I wouldn’t have been able to launch without all the incredible editors and columnists who have joined forces with me on this new journey. A special shout-out to , , , , , , , and for coming on board to help me shape Ruminations. I am recruiting two more people, a columnist and an art editor, so wish me luck. I’m speaking to a brilliant woman today about the columnist role, so fingers crossed that that conversation goes well. Stay tuned on that front.

Ruminations

Literary Magazine

By Ruminations Magazine

You can learn all about us from a post today about “Who We Are” here:

Ruminations

Who We Are

Cryn Johannsen - Editor-in-Chief Ruminations is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber…

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12 days ago · 1 like · Ruminations Magazine

If you have special projects that you think we’d want, shoot them our way! If you don’t, but you know of talented artists, poets, or writers, spread the word and let them know about our new publication (submission guidelines are here). Thanks, all!

Ruminations

Submission Guidelines

OPEN SUBMISSIONS START ON OCTOBER 19th AND END ON OCTOBER 30th AT 11:55 PM…

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21 days ago · 13 likes · 7 comments · Ruminations Magazine

I’ve been derelict in my bi-weekly best reads roundups for several reasons. First, I’ve been on the road, going to Kansas to help out my parents, after my Mother fell and broke her foot in several places. I wrote a long, emotional essay about my trip to and from the East Coast here, if you’re interested in reading it. I’ve also been busy at work recruiting a great team for my new literary magazine, Ruminations, and putting it together on both Substack and Squarespace. As mentioned above, submissions for poetry, art, fiction, and nonfiction open October 19th and close at midnight on October 30th. The first issue comes out on November 15th, a day after my birthday.

That said, I think it’s important to keep this series going. In fact, it’s what inspired me to launch Ruminations, as promoting the work of others is critical to me. So, on that note, let’s get to it.

1. First up is ’s superb piece titled “Dale Partridge Clearly Has An Inferiority Complex That IQ Tests Can’t Fix.”

   Diary of a Mad? Black Man

   Dale Partridge Clearly Has An Inferiority Complex That IQ Tests Can’t Fix

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   15 days ago · 7 likes · 5 comments · Deevon "Wes" La Rue

   Dale Partridge is a far-right “pastor” of King’s Way Bible Church, where he peddles extremist rhetoric at the pulpit. As La Rue aptly states, “He’s a Christian Nazi.” Partridge espouses outdated, racist, and eugenicist concepts, claiming that Intelligence Quotient (IQ) tests, as La Rue explains, “are the sole indicator of human intelligence that determines educational attainment, crime rate, socioeconomic status, and heredity among other social norms.” As I told La Rue in a comment, his essay made me recall my review of Quinn Slobodian’s Hayek’s Bastards. (I eventually interviewed Slobodian as well; you can read it here and here.) Since he believes this hocus-pocus, Partridge now says he doesn’t want his daughter marrying a Black man. (Deep disgusted sigh.) La Rue’s analysis is spot on and worth reading in its entirety. 12/10. Highly, highly recommend. Don’t miss this one.

2. The second piece for the roundup is by and is in his Substack. It’s titled “No evangelicals can’t teach us anything about organizing. Jesus Christ, guys!” (I think this piece pairs nicely with La Rue’s, don’t you think?) Kotsko is responding to a recent essay by Eric Blanc titled “What Evangelicals Can Teach Us About Organizing,” And, shit, does Kotsko get it right. For some ludicrous reason, Blanc’s piece has been making the rounds amongst USer leftists (is this a sign that we’re in deep trouble, or what?) In the opening lines, Kotsko expresses both his surprise and dismay about how Blanc’s piece is so popular, writing:

I’m a little surprised that I’m seeing so many people linking to “What Evangelicals Can Teach Us about Organizing.” The post itself is a glorified summary of Rick Warren's 1995 book The Purpose-Driven Church, which was pitched as a kind of manual for growing a megachurch. And sure, a lot of people used the techniques and there are now bigger churches.

But Kotsko is quick to point out that church membership is on the decline, plus these mega churches are known to cannibalize one another. He also finds it ironic that Blanc says Warren’s book can help the left stop fighting one another. Yet the megachurches are known for such fierce quarreling that Kotsko describes it as “secretarian in-fighting.” (HBO’s recent brilliant, satirical TV show, The Righteous Gemstones, featuring John Goodman as Dr. Eli Gemstone, the patriarch of a megachurch, illustrates Kotsko’s point.) Another banger of a piece, illustrating well that, no, megachurches ain’t a model for the left, and yes, I agree, JESUS CHRIST, GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Thank you, Adam, for this little gem of an essay. Another absolute must-read.

That Blog You Like Is Going to Come Back in Style

No, evangelicals can’t teach us anything about organizing

I’m a little surprised that I’m seeing so many people linking to “What Evangelicals Can Teach Us about Organizing.” The post itself is a glorified summary of Rick Warren's 1995 book The Purpose-Driven Church, which was pitched as a kind of manual for growing a megachurch. And sure, a lot of people used the techniques and there are now bigger churches…

Read more

15 days ago · 33 likes · 8 comments · Adam Kotsko

3. The final piece I’m going to highlight is by one of my favorite writers here. That’s . Even better, he’s discussing one of my all-time favorite thinkers: bell hooks. Williams’ essay is titled “The world could be a better place if more men had ‘the will to change.’”

Jason’s Substack

The world could be a better place if more men had “the will to change”

Jason’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber…

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18 days ago · 177 likes · 13 comments · Jason Williams

Williams tells us that he’s read about 15 books this year, and the most significant one so far is hooks’ The Will to Change. Why is this so?

Williams writes: “Each page conjured up past traumas, gave me understanding about those experiences, and unlocked an irreversible destruction of my version of masculinity in a way that I never expected.”

He goes on to explain that he had already begun doing the work to deconstruct his own toxic masculinity before picking up The Will to Change, adding, “my soul was primed for constructive instruction, my defenses were defeated and depleted, I was in position to listen, and planted for understanding.”

Williams writes with personal fervor and intellectual rigor, so I’m drawn to every piece he publishes. Once again, he shares another sociologically and culturally significant piece about the dangers of patriarchy in our society, yet personalizing and humanizing it, drawing us in, letting us see his own personal development as a man who’s breaking free from this system of injustice. For it isn’t just women, children, and gender-expansive people that patriarchy hurts. It hurts men, like Williams, too. An absolute must-read.

4. Finally, wrote his first column in . The piece is titled, “The Mask, The Femme Fatale, and The Projection of The Filmmaker’s Own Worldview On Their Work.”

Ruminations

The Mask, The Femme Fatale, and The Projection of The Filmmaker’s Own Worldview On Their Work

I’m fairly certain Ghostbusters II was the first film I saw at the cinema (or “the pictures,” as they used to call it). Released in time for Christmas 1989, I was five. My only memory of the event is a vague sense of feeling disoriented upon coming out. It was dark, you see, having been daytime when we went in. But now, thinking about it, I wonder how m…

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15 days ago · 2 likes · Craig Snelgrove, PhD

Snelgrove recounts memories of going to the cinema as a young child, focusing on The Mask, and asking compelling questions about its PG rating. He was, after all, a kid when he viewed it, and Diaz plays a femme fatale, and yet she was overtly sexualized, while the film was “deemed suitable, family entertainment.” Snelgrove broadens the aperture even more to discuss Hollywood and cinema in capitalist societies. While some films, like Full Metal Jacket, “attack military indoctrination, institutional humiliation,” the Vietnam War, among other things, they never go so far as to critique capitalism itself. A superb piece that interweaves Snelgrove’s early childhood with how cinema fits into the larger context of capitalism. That said, I’m delighted he’s on board with us at Ruminations (his column, incidentally, is Through A Lens, Beyond The Wall Of Sound). I highly recommend this piece, too!

I’ll be back in two weeks to share more of my bi-weekly best reads roundups! Stay tuned. As I always like to say, until then, love one another and be good to each other. And solidarity against the fascists! Siamo tutti antifascisti! I’ll leave you with my favorite song. It’s an old, anti-fascist Italian one—“Bella Ciao.”

Bella Ciao

Una mattina mi son svegliato
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
Una mattina mi son svegliato
Eo ho trovato l’invasor

One morning I woke up
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
One morning I woke up
And I found the invader

O partigiano porta mi via
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
O partigiano porta mi via
Che mi sento di morir

Oh partisan, carry me away,
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
Oh partisan, carry me away,
For I feel I’m dying

E se io muoio da partigiano
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
E se io muoio da partigiano
Tu mi devi seppellir

And if I die as a partisan
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
And if I die as a partisan
You have to bury me

Mi seppellire lassù in montagna
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
Mi seppellire lassù in montagna
Sotto l’ombra di un bel fiore

But bury me up in the mountain
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao,
But bury me up in the mountain
Under the shadow of a beautiful flower

E le genti che passeranno
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
E le genti che passeranno
Mi diranno: “Che bel fior”

And the people who will pass by
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao,
And the people who will pass by
Will say to me: “what a beautiful flower”

È questo il fiore del partigiano
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
È questo il fiore del partigiano
Morto per la libertà

This is the flower of the partisan
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao ciao ciao
This is the flower of the partisan
Who died for freedom

Further Reading

It’s late at night, and something stirs in your slumberous mind; a small notion begins to take form, then you drift off to sleep, but the next morning, you think about it again. Soon enough, it’s a solid idea. In my case, just recently, it was launching a literary magazine, and the name I came up with—Ruminations—was meant to broadly capture evocative, compelling poetry, art, fiction, and nonfiction by talented new and established artists and writers.

Ruminations

Literary Magazine

By Ruminations Magazine

But an idea only works if you have support and others willing to help you, so I had to take action, and quickly. And that’s what I did. So, here I am now, with a dedicated team of incredibly talented editors and columnists, some of whom are already producing work for Ruminations, as I write this short piece introducing it to you all. (We are all volunteers, too.)

So, what is Ruminations about and why should you consider subscribing? Our Mission Statement is as follows:

Founded in November of 2026, Ruminations is a space for new and established poets, fiction and nonfiction writers, and visual artists. Our publication sits at the edge of new ideas and imagery while revisiting old conversations and reconceptualizing what they mean in today’s world. We connect our audience to a diverse array of new, exciting voices and established, published writers. These works challenge, explore, and illuminate ideas, pushing our readers to reconsider the boundaries of art, literature, photography, and academia.

The “About Us” provides you with critical insight into what we’re seeking from our creators, and reads:

Ruminations is a reader-supported magazine that focuses on the craft of superior, persuasive, raw writing and visually audacious art. We’re hungry for great style, compelling stories, evocative prose and poetry, and sublime artwork that reverberates. We’re open to any genre. We especially like topsy-turvy, carnivalesque, whimsical pieces that punch up, mock, and denounce the rich and powerful (we’re not fans of works that punch down).

I encourage you to consider subscribing to this new literary and artistic endeavor and watch us flourish as we promote the voices of so many talented writers and showcase incredible artists. We also have regular columnists who offer vastly different viewpoints, and one of them, , is a superb photographer.

Lastly, if you are interested in submitting, we’d be thrilled; submissions open October 19th and run through October 30th. The Submission Guidelines can be read here:

Ruminations

Submission Guidelines

OPEN SUBMISSIONS START ON OCTOBER 19th AND END ON OCTOBER 30th AT 11:55 PM…

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19 days ago · 8 likes · 5 comments · Ruminations Magazine

If you have any pressing questions, our FAQs can be found here (and if you can’t find your question answered below, you can always email me):

Ruminations

Have Questions? We have answers!

Please read through these questions carefully. Thanks so much…

Read more

20 days ago · 2 likes · Ruminations Magazine

I can’t begin to express how excited I am about this new journey! It is so important to me to lift up other people's voices and showcase their art, so what better way than launching a literary magazine?

On another note, we’re starting on Substack first, but will soon have a website. So, stay tuned for that.

I’ll be going Live with , who’s the columnist of Through a Lens, Beyound a Wall of Sound, on Saturday, October 17 at 2:00 EST to discuss our new magazine, his column, and a piece he has coming out tomorrow. I’m also going Live with on Sunday, October 18th at 4 PM EST. He’s one of our poetry and literature editors. We will also discuss the magazine, poetry, fiction, and read two of our favorite poems, among other things. He’s also on Substack here.

Not to worry. I’ll continue to stay busy here on my Substack! But I’ll also be doing exciting things over on as editor-in-chief. Hence the reason for making this announcement.

Finally, we officially launch on November 15th, but we already have content now, with more to come before then.

Cheers,

Cryn

Editor-in-Chief

Ruminations

Thank you , , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video with ! Join me for my next live video in the app.

Get more from Cryn Johannsen in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

The call came in late, or was it a text? All I knew was that the road leading home called to me, so with my corgi, Daisy, at my side, I got up before sunrise and left Baltimore’s silent streets, heading westward in late September.

My elderly parents needed me, and I wasn’t going anywhere else but to my childhood home in Kansas, so that’s where I headed. Instinctively. Worriedly. Lovingly.

The dense, industrial D.C. and Baltimore exurbs, filled with their rusted and new metals, torn-up and clean tires, old and new gas stations, twisted and neat buildings, and dilapidated and tidy homes, soon faded behind me. The highway unraveled like a long gray twig, and Western Maryland awaited with open skies, mountainous ridges, lush green trees, especially Eastern White Pine, and signs notifying drivers of wildlife.

Soon, Western Maryland morphs into West Virginia, something a driver immediately senses in their fingertips as the highway curves sharpen and the slopes rise and fall more sharply. There’s also something, as West Virginia advertises itself, truly wild, wonderful, and alluring about the state, as I’m coming to know it well, now that I’m spending more and more time there each year, stopping and staying in small villages to regain my strength prior to heading to Kentucky, and before making the rest of the trip to the Kansas City, Missouri metroplex where my parents reside.

After stopping in the Bluegrass State and listening to a bartender tell me a harrowing story of how her brother murdered her other brother (I’m hoping to share that story here soon), I made my way through Indiana, which I call Nazi Indiana, given its strong ties to the KKK, which was formed there after World War I. The speeding signs are ominous, too. They warn that if you speed through construction zones (something I never do), you can get a $1000 speeding ticket and up to 6 years in jail, so let me say this: You don’t speed in Indiana.

The roads and my thinking straightened some as I made my way into rural Illinois, where I found an anti-Trump sticker on a gas pump.

After “driving” on I-70 through Missouri, which is more like a parking lot, I eventually found my way home to my parents and their lithe orange tabby cat. Warmth, both outside and inside, surrounded me, and I recalled multiple childhood(s) immediately, lingering around my layers of memories, with the photos of a young Cryn, along with my brother, clinging to the walls of my parents’ home.

I only stayed a week, as the medical needs for my mom were immediately met as soon as I arrived. So, Daisy and I returned to the road, heading in the opposite direction from whence we’d come.

Ever-not-so-slowly, I sped across Missouri heading east, viewing the baled hayfields and thinking about lost time. So much time lost, I thought. Seeing images of yourself splashed across old walls as a wee baby and a 4-year-old toddler certainly smacks you in the face about time passed. The frames were dusty, bent, and from an era that’s now as distant from us as World War II was in the 1980s when I was a young child.

The distance between my childhood home in the Midwest and where I was going grew as I traveled farther, finally making it to Louisville, Kentucky, after 11 hours of driving.

I wasn’t just heading farther from my childhood home; yet a fullness and yearning for more grew within me. Fall conjures such longing, as the trees burst with color—tipped with deep fire reds, canary yellows, and vermilions—while still quite deep green, their trunks covered in myrtle-green moss. While everything is awash in life, things will soon perish, reminding me of Dutch Masters and their still lifes of abundance.

“Do you have to go home?” my Father asked me, while I sat in the rehabilitation center where my Mother was recovering from her fall.

I imagined he still looked at me and saw a 5-year-old girl with blonde braids in dresses bought from garage sale bins, even though I’m now in my 40s.

“Yes, Pop. I have to go back to Baltimore. It’s where I have my life.”

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” he asked, half-jokingly, half-mournfully.

He asked me these questions before I hit the road for Louisville to see rich forests and prairie lands filled with hay, corn, soy beans, and cattle. I thought about the conversation now as I neared Louisville, and how he held me for several minutes, weeping outside in the parking lot, while I gently told him, “Don’t cry, Pop. Please don’t cry.”

Now in Louisville, ensconced in my hotel with Daisy, it was time for a strong whiskey shot and a beer chaser, to forget that I had been in search of a return to fullness in my childhood home, which no longer offered that remedy. The complicated, overlapping recalls of childhood(s) in a now-aged home I’d just left returned to my mind; fuzzy memories, especially of my Pop, filled me with melancholia, longing for what had been and never was—possibilities that never came to fruition and appreciation for the relationship we now have. After I finished my Buffalo Trace shot and beer, along with my smash burger, I took Daisy for a short stroll, and then we hit the hay for the night.

The next day, we headed to West Virginia to stay the night. Our lodgings were at a lakeside hotel, where that feeling of both fullness and melancholic longing resurfaced.

“Do you have to go home?” My Father asked.

My Dad’s question returned to my memory, along with images of my childhood home. Once again, I was in the parking lot with him. He was holding me as tightly as he could, weeping gently, telling me how much he would miss me.

I sat down in front of the lake, holding back a slew of emotions, and lit a cigarette. It was early morning, and while a heaviness still hung in the air, hugging my body, fall crept in, making me shiver from time to time. I inhaled every few minutes, looked down at Daisy curled beneath me in a patch of dew-soaked grass, gazed across the still lake, watching pairs of ducks pass by, disrupting the mirrored reflection of the trees, bushes, and mountainscape above.

Again, my Pop’s words echoed in my memory.

“Do you have to go home?” he asked half-jokingly, half-mournfully.

Where was home? I thought to myself. Yes, it was in Baltimore now that I was an adult, but it remained in my childhood home in Kansas, within the solid walls of a home a year older than I. Yet returning to seek it out was futile; the images of the little girl she once was on the walls were gone. She was older now; her long, curly blonde hair was cut into a short pixie. The childhood(s) were gone.

Stendhalian syndrome for the Beauty of Nature nearly set in when I looked into the distance and saw low-hanging clouds hug the mountaintops, thinking more of my Father’s question. A Love so deep it’s impossible to speak of, its murmurations calling to me as I watched the low, wispy clouds cling to the West Virginia mountaintops. They move along delicately, disappear, just as we do in life. Here for a time and then gone like that ethereal mist over the ancient Appalachians.

I gasped thinking about that. My Father is 84. Eight-four, I thought. Yet he still works every day as a lawyer, goes to his book clubs, and attends Church services, where they delve into the theological complexities of giving back to community and what it means to be an upstanding person, a person like my Dad.

On that Sunday, I headed to my adult home in Baltimore, returning to my husband and my other two dogs, leaving the mountains of West Virginia behind me, my Father and his devoted Love far beyond the Appalachians in the “flatlands,” as he calls it, surrounded by the harvested wheatfields and cornfields of Kansas. Fullness and longing remained as I headed further east, back through Hagerstown, Maryland, then Cumberland, Frederick, and finally the exurbs of D.C. and Baltimore.

I will return to my childhood home in search of my childhood(s) once again. And when I depart, longing, melancholia, and Fatherly Love and loss will recur. The fullness and desire for more from the possibilities in the past and the future will intertwine in my mind as I return to the road heading east instead of west. And I will be grateful again for this repeated experience with my Father, knowing it will not always be there, and aware that someday I will also go searching for it.

Further Reading

Dear Subscribers,

As you’re all aware, I, along with several editors and columnists (here’s looking at , , , , , and ), am launching Ruminations on November 15th.

Ruminations is a literary magazine. We publish poets, fiction and nonfiction writers, and we’re also planning to showcase artists.

I published the FAQs yesterday. That’s where you can find answers to all your burning questions. I hope you’ll subscribe and spread the word to your friends and family about our new endeavor!

Ruminations

Have Questions? We have answers!

Please read through these questions carefully. Thanks so much…

Read more

23 days ago · Ruminations Magazine

In the coming days, I’ll be posting more information about our Submission Guidelines, among other things.

Onwards!

I first “met” Mark Cohen, founder of SwampWatch.org, over a Zoom call this past summer. It was an interview for a different project he wanted me to do for his nonprofit. (We later met outside of D.C. for lunch, where he kindly treated me at a Mexican restaurant, and we had an enthralling conversation about D.C. politics, journalism, writing, and more. Mark is a mensch of a person—no doubt.)

When Mark first told me about SwampWatch over our Zoom interview, he said, “We’re a 501(c)(3) that aggregates corruption and abuse of power in Washington, D.C., but we also offer a menu of solutions—via legislation, oversight, litigation, citizen action, etc.—reminding us that politics doesn’t have to be this way.”

SwampWatch's Substack

SwampWatch is your one-stop aggregated catalog of corruption and abuse of power in Washington, but it's also a menu of solutions--via legislation, oversight, litigation, citizen action, etc.--reminding us that politics doesn't have to be this way.

I was already intrigued—a site that is a repository, collecting vital information on the Trump regime, with truth and facts? And it offers citizen actions? Hell, I was already in. Who wouldn’t be, in times like the ones we’re in right now?

I got hired for the project I interviewed for and completed it in 6 weeks, some of which entailed writing articles that are on SwampWatch’s site. Around July, Mark asked if I’d be interested in helping with their social media campaign. The answer was a resounding yes with no hesitation. That’s when I took on the role of social media director, which I still do.

I started out doing traditional social media work, i.e., promoting SwampWatch on various platforms (here on Substack, Twitter—I can’t call it X, Threads, Instagram, LinkedIn, BlueSky, and elsewhere)—with the goal of disseminating our message as far and wide as possible. Then I got the (obvious) idea of setting up Lives for Mark with other Substackers and podcasters. (Thanks to so many of you, like , , , , and , for having us on your Lives!)

Certain Thoughts

SwampWatchers: Truth and Reconciliation (and Reform)

Who watches the swamp…

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a month ago · 33 likes · Evan Stern, Cryn Johannsen, and SwampWatch

That’s when things really started to change for me, and I began to understand how serious and important getting the word out became. Don’t get me wrong. As soon as I met Mark, I valued him personally and professionally. I valued SwampWatch’s mission and work. As I already mentioned, I was on board before he had even offered me work. However, the several hours I’ve spent listening to Mark discuss with such moral clarity the aims and intentions of SwampWatch, and how I’ve come to realize that SwampWatch could potentially serve as a repository for a possible Truth and Reconciliation Commission in the future, all of it has made me understand the gravity of my role and this organization’s importance to the nation.

We recently had a Substack Live with . Carl asked both of us an interesting question: What happens if things go south and the Trump administration goes totally autocratic?

Carl’s Mind Chimes Magazine

Live with Carl Cimini

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a month ago · 7 likes · Carl Cimini, Cryn Johannsen, and SwampWatch

Mark and I were both optimistic and said that if that were to happen, we suspect a non-violent general strike would occur. The gravity of the question hit me, though, when Carl said he thinks Mark would be a definite target of the administration if it went fully authoritarian. However, Mark noted that many people would be targets, as a polyphony of voices and organizations are fighting back against the Trump regime minute by minute, hell, second by second. In a word, they are up against a sea of fierce and active critics.

That’s why I’m writing about SwampWatch.org here to share the critical work that my organization is doing, and it’s all free to the public.

Many of you are aware that Putin’s ploy in Russia is to spread daily tumultuous confusion, to exhaust the public with chaos, to drown them in turmoil, to sow confusion. This wears the public down, creates distraction, and also feeds into conspiracist thinking, the spread of misinformation, and flat-out lies in the media ecosystem. Steve Bannon, the father of MAGA’s ideology, adopted this motto, saying “flood the zone.” We’ve all been trapped in this media ecosystem, now fractured into multiple media ecosystems (furthering lies and misinformation with “news outlets” like far-right Newsmax and OANN), ever since Trump took to the political scene years ago. It’s taxing on the mind and the nervous system, to say the least.

SwampWatch.org is the antidote to that. The researchers behind it do the heavy lifting for the public. That means you don’t have to exhaust yourself daily keeping up with the brazen corruption, illegality, and criminality coming out of D.C. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can sit back and relax. On the contrary, rough, choppy waters require more rowers.

What can you do?

First, we encourage you to explore SwampWatch.org, tell your friends and family about us, and, most importantly, get involved however you see fit—reach out to us to see ways in which you can contribute to our organization (we would especially appreciate feedback about our website; let us know what you think about it). There are also other ways to take action in your community. That might mean running for your school board, turning out to vote, which we should all be doing, spreading the word about things online (if you’re non-disabled or have difficulties getting out of your home, for instance), and so forth.

Democracy requires constant vigilance, and that’s especially true in moments like the one we’re in right now.

Let’s get to work together. Part of that means supporting SwampWatch’s efforts, so visit the site, subscribe here on Substack, and, if you’re on other social media platforms I mentioned above, find us there, too.

Onwards!

I’m excited to announce that I, along with several editors and a columnist, am launching a magazine called Ruminations on November 15th.

Ruminations seeks poetry, fiction, art, and nonfiction. We’re open to all genres of poetry and writing, except YA and children’s poetry.

(What we will not accept: Anything that is transphobic, sexist, ableist, misogynistic, racist, eugenicist, thinly-veiled sci-fi that’s eugenicist, or white supremacist-themed works. We also don’t want to read anything related to animal mutilation or extreme sexual violence. After all, this is a literary publication, not 8chan. And, naturally, if we catch even so much as a whiff of AI, you will be banned from ever submitting to us again. We want human work for human readers.)

We also want clean, perfectly edited pieces—send us your best work. That said, we may make some tweaks when we accept works for publication.

Now that we’ve covered what we won’t accept and how we expect clean copy projects, let’s talk more specifically about what we’re seeking.

For poetry, we want anything that moves us, taunts us, inspires us, makes us think, or brings us to tears—send us work that sears our souls!

For fiction, we want sci-fi, weird, quirky, whimsical, deep, haunting, literary, introspective, speculative—anything that stops us in our tracks.

For art, we’re seeking to be awed, so show us what you’ve got—we want our inboxes stuffed with the sublime.

For nonfiction, we’re looking for humorous, serious, political, philosophical, historical, sociological, intersectional, Black studies, decolonialist, anti-capitalist, feminist-leaning, LGBTQIA+, disability rights-centered, political economy-oriented, psychoanalytic, theological, Marxist works—nothing is off the table.

Above all else, we’re obsessed with the quality of the craft.

In short, wow us.

As for submission fees, think of the $5 charge as mutual aid. Ruminations wants to pool that money in the hopes of paying the writers and artists whom we publish. We, as editors and the columnist, do this work as volunteers, driven by a passion for writing and promoting talented writers who deserve a home to highlight and showcase their work. We can’t promise we’ll be able to pay those we first publish, but here’s our promise: we’ll try our damnedest. (Here’s where math and getting the word out on your end come into play—the more folks hear about our new publication, the better our chances of pooling submission fees to help pay our featured artists and writers.)

We respond to every submission. We do our best to get back to every writer as soon as possible, usually within 90 days.

We also offer reviews of poetry, fiction, art, and nonfiction for a nominal fee (I’ll provide specific fees when I open up the website here on Substack on November 15th). Feedback will include a general assessment and overall review of the work, plus line edits. However, if you would like your work reviewed, you will be unable to submit your project to Ruminations for publication. That said, we invite and encourage you to submit other pieces that we have not reviewed.

The reading period will be the first week of every month, except for the magazine’s launch. For the magazine’s launch, we will offer a two-week window from October 19th through October 30th. Once I set up submissions, I’ll share that information.

If your work is chosen for publication, we will invite you to a Substack Live for an interview, if you so choose. All writers, poets, and artists will have a written interview in our “Interviews” section that will accompany their work when it’s published.

I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am about this new endeavor! There is nothing I want more than to promote talented, amazing poets, artists, and writers, and I get to do it with a team of incredible people in the spirit of operating as a radical, liberatory collective.

Once everything is up and running, which will be soon, I’ll post more information here. Stay tuned for further developments! This post is just a sneak peek into what’s to come.

In the meantime, share this news here on Substack and with your friends and family. The more, the merrier. Let’s celebrate the art of poetry, visual arts, and nonfiction by making Ruminations a success for outstanding creators!