When we have owned something for a while, it is easy to take it for granted. An overabundant forest of stuff makes it hard to see and be grateful for each individual tree.

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During a period when she spent a lot of time on planes, Wagner began asking her seat mates what three books influenced them most. After a year of gathering information this way and by querying friends and family as well, she contacted a Braille library and began photographing the books that had received the most mentions. The resulting images of the book’s cover next to another image of the open book are so high resolution that the Braille looks like it is raised on the page. The finished pieces in the series, which is called trans/literate, were purchased by museums and collectors such as the Met in NYC and the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and the Tate Modern, among others. They are about 49” by 22”. I was lucky enough to meet the artist at her studio and purchase smaller 27” by 11” studies for three of the works during a short break between gallery representations.

The photographs I bought were of books that highly impacted me, though none of them made it into my top ten today. They are Orlando by Virginia Woolf, Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller, and The Odyssey by Homer. The other books in Wagner’s series included three novels by Virginia Woolf, the Holy Bible, two by Franz Kafka, Moby Dick, two by Toni Morrison and several other classics. There wasn’t a Harry Potter or a Stephen King novel in the bunch, which makes me wonder if people were entirely honest with her.

Ironically, I’ve never read High Fidelity, a book with a lot of Top Five lists by Nick Hornby, but the movie based on it is In my Top Ten movies list. The lead character, played by John Cusack, is obsessed by music and by top five lists: top five songs about death, top five side one track one songs, top five break-up songs. He even starts a label called, “Top Five Records.”

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I love hearing people’s Top Five or Top Ten of this or that. So please share in the comments!

My Top Ten Novels, at least for today, are (in order of date written/published):

The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington (written in the 1960s, published in 1974)

Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins (1984)

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (2002)

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami (2009)

An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin (2010)

The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson (2010)

The Sellout by Paul Beatty (2015)

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (2016)

The Lincoln Highway, also Amor Towles (2021)

All Fours by Miranda July (2024)

It was a super tough call to keep it to 10.

All of the above were written after the year 2000 except The Hearing Trumpet, written in the 1960s, and Jitterbug Perfume, written in 1984. The Hearing Trumpet seems incredibly modern. It is surrealistic and so original in word choices, story and characters, most memorably the main character, 92 year old Marion Leatherby, a toothless but very game and observant woman. She has a cat, a red hen who lays an egg on her bed every morning, and a really cool friend, Carmella (based on Carrington’s own cool best freind, artist Remedios Varos). Marion makes me a little less afraid to get really, really old.

1Q84 is also surreal, as are Jitterbug Perfume and The Sellout to a lesser degree. (I also love Gabriel Garcia Marques—One Hundred Years of Solitude and Love in the Time of Cholera would both make a Top Twenty list.)

Amor Towles (A Gentleman in Moscow, The Lincoln Highway) writes the most memorable characters, and although the subject matter of these two novels is very different, they both grabbed me from page one with their multi-dimensional and highly entertaining characters.

One thing most of the books have in common is humor, the funniest, laugh out loudest being The Sellout. It’s got the tiny bits of surrealism in its favor too (artisanal square watermelons). Oddly, comedian Steve Martin’s novel, An Object of Beauty, is one of the less humorous, but it is a fun and fast read about a sexy young woman in the art world, complete with color images of some of the art mentioned.

I couldn’t believe a man living in the Bay Area wrote The Orphan Master’s Son. It pulled me into a dark, North Korean world that I thought for sure was written by someone who had defected from there.

Middlesex is amazing for how it ties everything in the story together and the Greek family is very endearing.

And Miranda July! What an original, and also a Bay Area author. All Fours is impossible to tell someone about, you have to read it for yourself. As a person who curates spaces for a living, I was fascinated and repelled when the character began spending her own money to completely renovate and decorate a dumpy hotel room.

All of the books have strong female characters, but none more than The Hearing Trumpet, which was so ahead of its time. I am surprised that I, an English major and voracious reader, had never even heard of it until my friend, the poet Dian Sousa, told me about it. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re in for a treat! Savor it.

Books play a big part in Dream Life Workshops; for more on what I do, click here.

It makes since that things you don’t want or don’t need or that have negative associations will create a nice little vacuum for things you do want, do need or that have positive associations to either flow in or make themselves apparent, making you healthier, wealthier, happier in big, small subtle and massively obvious ways. depending on the item.

Your decisions might range from easy outs to tiny twinges of emotion (anger, sadness, guilt, fear) to real toughies. Unless you’re a bona fide hoarder, what usually happens is you pass 27 and don’t want to stop!

Even an organized person like myself has way too much stuff. It starts to really irritate me, especially when I come home from completely dialing in an organized, fresh space for a client. Those sessions usually result in an urgent decluttering of my own as soon as my jacket, bag and keys are on their handy hooks.

Start with a super easy win: the junk drawer. Organize it by putting like with like and see if you can’t find at least a few dried out pens, stack of ratty post-its or ancient lipsticks you can toss (the make-up drawer is another space for some easy outs). Don’t forget to list the items so that you can tally the results later. Or take a before and after photo of the drawer.

Check your light bulb stash; do you still own all of the fixtures those bulbs go to? Have you switched to LED but still hold on to the old, hot bulbs?

Look at your vases: how many generic, clear glass vases from the florist or little ceramic orchid pots from Trader Joe’s are you saving? These are easy outs, but no, they are not recyclable (vase, picture frame and window glass melts at a different temperature than bottle and jar glass—it messes up the works at recycling plants).

Personally, I went through my clothes…again. I recently realized that I have been wearing a lot of garbage clothes that make me feel like less than the abundant, polished, high-achieving woman I want to be. A lot less. Imagine a tired, grandma cardigan, cheap Target “concert” t-shirt and stained linen pants that I also wear as pajama bottoms. Uggs are so comfy, but mine had drips of paint and other stains all over them. In short, whenever I have been doing chores around the house and yard, I have been dressing like Britney Spears’s at the airport on a really bad day.

These clothes were so bad they are not even donate-able, so into the trash they went. It was one of the “twinge of emotion” situations—fear (I kept wearing these because I don’t want to get my slightly nicer clothes stained and painted on), anger (how could I have let myself dress hat way for so long?), guilt (why didn’t I take better care of my things and wear painter’s coveralls and shoe coverings?), and sadness (do I really think so little of myself that I would dress that way?).

Books can also be low-hanging fruit. Are there any books around that you think you should keep because they make you feel smart but that you don’t actually like or have grown out of? Gravity’s Rainbow was one of those for me. Dictionaries and reference books that are collecting dust because you look up everything online might be easy-outs. College textbooks (and you’re 63). Self-help books that didn’t resonate. Etc.

Are there pillows around past their prime? What about in the fridge? Any expired food or stuff you don’t want to eat or won’t eat? An old bottle of sparkling wine that’s been in there since you quit drinking four years ago? Don’t keep testing your will power, open it and dump it.

I worked with a client who was saving three bottles of Dom Pérignon that were decades old and hadn’t been stored properly. When we opened them to dump them out, there wasn’t even the slightest hint of a pop and the now flat liquid had turned an oxidized brown. Even if you do still drink, there might be some wine around that is way past its prime. Easy-out.

What about papers in the office? There are probably whole files that can be recycled or shredded, but start with what’s out on your desk or on shelves.

You get the idea.

By now I bet you have 27 things. Here’s my list from this last go-around: crappy cardigan, t-shirt, stained pants, stained Uggs, a shimmery, brownish lipstick, a bedside felt caddy that never worked well, a filled journal that I had already voice-to-text recorded (captured the info), four books, 2 jigsaw puzzles, a depressing black vase, 10 huge financial documents to shred, a water bottle that keeps leaking (expensive and not very old, so a hard one to let go) and three large drinking glasses—I have way too many glasses and entertain really differently than I used to. That’s 27! Let me know what you let go in the comments.

For more information on House in Order and Dream Life Workshops, click here.

I get a little clutter bulimia when this happens, and occasionally I regret purging myself of something, but very, very rarely. Lately, I stop myself pre-splurge. I use a lot of recovery tools to do this, along with some tried and true productivity principles. Here’s one of my favorites:

HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. When you feel the impulse to “buy now,” halt and check in with yourself. Are you hungry? This is a tough one because the answer for food addicts like me is often, “yes!!!” and I always need to go a little deeper and ask, “What are you hungry for?”

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If I am hungry for stimulation, color, pizazz, creativity, that is a good sign. It usually means I am gestating something and haven’t figured out the form it is going to take, don’t have the materials or connections I need yet, or it is 11pm or 4am and I can’t physically move forward with it because it is the dead of night or way too early in the morning. If you are like me, the toughest times not to scroll and shop are after 10pm and before 6am. Best antidote is to keep devices out of the bedroom full stop or setting your Wi-Fi to turn off between 10PM and 6AM.

When I am hungry for stimulation during normal waking hours, shopping is just plain laziness. What I need to do is figure out the next action. That could mean sitting down with pen and paper and sketching out a mind-map of possible actions, journaling, opening a well-loved style or organizing book and dipping in for inspiration, etc.

The other way to figure out a next action is just to do a next action. Something obvious. I put on my chore clothes and clean something. Plant something. Rake something. Go for a hike or walk. Movement, nature and a change of scene can trigger inspiration.

I love the bit in First Wives Club when Goldie Hawn’s character brainstorms while on the treadmill. The treadmill gets extra credit as a mind opener because it is so mindless. With no weather, sidewalk curbs or traffic to worry about, a treadmill workout lets the mind relax and some really brilliant stuff can bubble up.

Anger is an emotion I don’t feel too often, but it is a kissing cousin of frustration and impatience, two emotions I know intimately. When it comes to stuff, I do get angry with myself (and my loved ones) when it becomes too much. When it gets tough to put something away because the space has become so tightly packed it is a storage jigsaw puzzle, it is time to reduce. You should have 20% breathing room in any storage space. Yes you can fit more in, but then putting things away becomes a headache, resulting in things being left out and about.

Recently I got angry with myself about all of the aspirational stuff in my garage. For example, a tent. I’m 62. I haven’t camped in a tent since I was 28. This was a brand new tent I bought in case I was evacuated in a fire. Really? A tent instead of my mother’s house, a friend’s home or a hotel? What was I thinking? I let go party supplies, enough outdoor chairs to seat a small wedding’s worth of guests and a chainsaw that I would never attempt to wield. Anger can be very motivating when rightly directed.

Loneliness is another emotion I don’t often feel, but a lot of times connecting with a friend can alleviate the need to shop. Watch out for the friends who tell you, “Why not? You deserve it!” Call friends who are familiar with your financial goals and creative projects. Don’t forget to be that friend for your pals too. It’s nice to hear someone to tell us to go ahead and get that third black cashmere sweater because, after all, it has a slightly different neckline. But a true friend will tell us the truth—we have enough.

Being over-tired is usually the biggest reason for buying stuff we don’t need. That goes double for moms shopping with whiny kids; how much plastic gets purchased just to stop the tiny voices while at Target? Find ways to not shop when fatigued if you can. The more tired we are the less resistance we have to our impulses. Sugar and caffeine start to sound extra appealing when we are tired. Siestas are a thing in many regions of the world for a good reason—when we dip in the afternoon, a nap is a much better idea than a cigarette, a box of Red Vines, a double espresso or (my old 3PM choice) a glass of cold Sauvignon Blanc.

Check in with hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness pre-shopping and buyer’s remorse will be a phenomenon you will rarely experience.

For more organizing tips and information about Dream Life Workshops, click here.

Take stock. It is early October. Where and in what condition are your Halloween or Dia de los Muertos decorations if you have any? Take an hour on a weekend and peruse. The young’uns will probably love helping with this chore and, if they are old enough, it might be time to delegate the decorating.

It’s not too early to do up the front porch. One of the issues my clients often have with holiday decorating is that it is too little (or too much) too late. It will feel like a burden or a waste of time if you dig everything out, tidy it and stage it only to have to take it down in less than a week. Even worse—leaving it up long after the holiday. You don’t want your skeletons spooking your neighbors’ reindeer.

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If you have the desire and bandwidth, do a little visualizing and journaling before each holiday. You might involve the family in some blue sky brainstorming at the dinner table. What do you want to do less of for that holiday? What would you like to do more of? What could you add, if anything? What new tradition would they like to try? What are your friends and extended family doing this year? Is there something completely outside your norm that you would like to consider?

For example, if you always stay home in October for the usual pumpkin carving and candy, what would something completely different, like a trip to Patzcuaro, Mexico for the Day of the Dead festivities, look like? If not this year, could you start planning for next year?

A carved pumpkin lasts only three to five days, so plan your patch visit and jack-o-lantern session with that in mind. Candy has a habit of magically disappearing if purchased too early, so use your judgment, but probably don’t buy your treats too early.

Thanksgiving in America is almost always centered around a feast, so menu planning and a centerpiece, if that floats your clipper ship are the main tasks. Order your turkey in advance if you want a fresh one. Fresh turkeys only last a day or two in the refrigerator, so plan accordingly and make some room. A frozen turkey takes 24 hours of thawing in the refrigerator for every 4-5 pounds, so if you go that route, it will be in there for a while.

If you are new to preparing the full Thanksgiving meal, why not use AI to create a shopping list and time out the whole prep and cook? Check out Substack, Instagram and You Tube for how-to videos and interesting new recipes, not to mention Pinterest for tablescapes.

Again, you might want to color outside the lines and order sushi or Thai food and have a gratitude gathering with your friends. Provide craft supplies and create a centerpiece as a group or write and share your gratitude lists. If the weather is good, take a hike.

The winter solstice time of year is where I really like to get creative. Since it is the darkest and usually cold season, the distraction of planning cards, gifts, meals and parties is really welcome.

One of my most memorable Christmases was due to some extra visioning and planning. I spent a lot of my spare time in late November creating and sending handmade cards. I spent early December planning the party and the meal and arranging lodging for guests. My ex-husband killed a wild turkey for the dinner and it was the tastiest (but a little tough and scrawny) turkey I’ve ever had. (We did have to supplement with a roast.)

That Christmas was memorable for the setting—a snowy cattle ranch. Setting matters so much. If your home or a place you traditionally celebrate a holiday has been fraught with arguments or criticism or any kind of negative memories, consider switching up the setting, or at least do some serious space clearing and smudging.

This is the time to use the good dishes and silver or anything you love and have tucked away. Anything broken (string lights, ornaments, dishes, etc.) should get tossed as soon as you identify the issue, and replaced if necessary.

Giving back is always a heart-warming and soul-satisfying way to spend the holidays. You might participate in warm coat, toy and food drives. There are old folks’ homes, first responder stations and hospitals to bring goodies and good vibes to. Be sure to look into volunteer opportunities well in advance so that you secure a spot and time to understand what will be expected of you. Try justserve.org and familylife.com for ideas. Getting out of the shopping rat race and into service pretty much guarantees a wonderful holiday.

For more organizing, creativity and productivity thoughts and tips, click here.

Almost every professional organizer will tell you: for every new item that comes into the space, an old item must go out. And we don’t mean into storage or the garage! I’ve come to love and look forward to putting this habit into action in my own life. It’s like a reverse treasure hunt. When I bring in a new book, if I decide to add it to our permanent library, I look for a book that no longer interests me or that I really will never get around to reading (the philosophy section comes to mind). For me, books about wine were the first to start trickling out the door (second hand bookstores love to buy these back from you or trade for new books!).

When I buy new sheets for the master bedroom, a pair of old sheets (in good condition) get donated to the Salvation Army. And so on. Exceptions might be books (if you’ve already pared down your collection to only the favorite to reread and reference) and jewelry (if you really wear each item at least once a year—again, your collection should reflect your lifestyle and values).

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N is a very tidy and organized woman, but some simple changes made her knitting room/office shine. A desk in the center of the room presented some problems with dangling computer and other electrical cords. Also, bags of knitting projects and materials blocked the way to the desk on each side—all potentially hazardous elements that were easy to fix. The cords were contained with plastic ties attached to one of the desk (really an antique table) legs and were run under a rug. We customized the closet in the room with removable shelves (removable for property resale purposes) and put all her supplies into labeled plastic bins in the closet.

Getting everything up off the floor and clearing the walkways made a world of difference in N’s ease of working in the room. It went from overwhelm to welcoming with a few easy changes.

Another example: Decluttering always brings in money. At the very least you can sell some of the clutter and make a few dollars.

After I read a book on feng shui and realized that my Prosperity Gua is our laundry room which is also where the litter box for the cats is stationed—no bueno for the chi. I did a thorough cleaning of the room, hung a special purple (the color of prosperity) moon card and a play money million dollar bill. I also placed a clear plastic piggy bank to fill with coins from dirty clothes’ pockets. I put in a diffuser with some woodsy essential oils. Within two hours—no kidding—I got calls from four new clients and and an e-mail that landed me a job editing a book.

Decluttering and intentional placement of objects tells the universe we are serious about this stuff. It’s not the belief that makes the difference, it is the action we take. Let stuff go, shake stuff up and watch the money flow in.

For more tips, check out my House in Order website.

I forgot that the October days begin super crisp and then might heat up into the 80s. Now I’m addicted to cardigans I can take off easily and these great Mexican blankets that I use over my shoulders during morning meditation or wrap around myself at breakfast.

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Most of you high achievers already have a morning routine, but I am a late, late bloomer in this area. Growing up I had decent skin, so not much motivation to wash and care for it. I had great teeth, so flossing and using a water-pik were never that important to me. Super lazy meant hair was pulled back, without much thought or care (this hasn’t changed, zut alors).

But now I’m 62 and the chickens have been arriving en masse to roost since peri-menopause hit at 50. Energy is lower, skin damage showed up big time, gums began receding and even my hair needs a little more thought and time as it thins and greys. I also added a 12-step program that is very demanding in the morning with readings, meditation and phone calls. As I age I find that if I don’t workout early, it may not get done because I become too tired at the end of the day—and forget evenings. The days of the 7pm Hot Yoga class are long gone.

Writing down your morning routine, if you are just developing one, is a game changer. Even if you have a well-established routine, when it is in black and white you might see ways to tweak or reorder it for maximum efficiency. I asked AI to track every task I did or intended to do in the morning and make suggestions based on the context I gave it. Now I can print a list and check things off if I want to.

One thing I have done almost without fail every morning is half an hour of meditation. I love the idea of Brahma muhurta—the creator’s hour, which in Hindi tradition is 96 minutes before sunrise and lasts 48 minutes. If you were observing this and sunrise was at 6:25AM, for example, you would start your practice at 4:49 and end at 5:37.

The practice: wake up, prep and purify (wash hands, face and feet), empty the bladder (and the bowels if possible) to feel light. Teeth brushed, tongue scraped: check out your tongue to make sure it is healthy and pink. If you are going to do a nasal rinse with a neti pot (I like to do it twice a week), this is the time.

Dress in loose, light colored clothing. I had a client in Los Angeles who had a suitcase full of white clothing she wouldn’t let go of because she hoped one day to go back to an ashram in India for a few weeks of meditation. I didn’t argue, but I thought it was irrational to keep that much clothing for a fairly unlikely event. Since then, I learned about and participated in sadhana, and I get it—it takes time to get a collection of natural fiber white clothing that fits just right, that you feel good in and, once you have these pieces and practice in them, they become really special and treasured.

Prep takes about ten minutes, 15 for pranayama and kriya (movements) formal or your own thing, 20 minutes of silent meditation and 3 minutes of expressing gratitude and transitioning out of meditation. It’s a wonderful way to start the day that I’ve found transformative. You’ll start to crave it. Getting up won’t seem that big a deal—I love the quiet, sacred feeling of a day about to begin.

When I am in crisis, it’s natural for me to wake up at 3:30 or 4AM. In classic ayurvedic texts the hours between 3 and 6 are called the “ambrosial hours”—similar to brahma muhurta—and a time it is easiest to connect to our essential selves and a higher power. Although the brahma muhurta hour for rising moves around depending on sunrise timing, just keeping a consistent rising time, preferably well before sunrise, feels the best to me. Ideally for energy, 4:45AM is my favorite wake up time—very early, but not so early that I can’t stay up until 9PM (fairly) comfortably. However, with everything I try to do in my morning routine, it is still pretty tight if I have to leave the house at 8AM to get to a client’s on time.

What is essential for your morning routine? Contact me if you’d like me to e-mail you my morning routine check list that you can tweak to add your own tasks. Rise and Shine!

For more organization tips and information on Dream Life Workshops, click here.

Also, instead of letting the wine glasses have an entire cupboard in the prime real estate of the kitchen, I cut my collection down to half and put them in a less-central cupboard, making more room for the glasses and dishes I use everyday. Wine logo corkscrews were tossed and my gorgeous horn-handled Chateau Laguiole corkscrew only opens corked olive oil these days. Eventually I let all of the wine glasses go—I’ve served alcohol at my house maybe once in the last decade, and water glasses worked just fine.

If you have given up a bad habit, are there things around the house that still remind you of it? Is there anything showing up that makes you a little embarrassed, makes you cringe or that you wouldn’t want certain other people to see? Think about why you’re holding on to it. If you are anything like me, you will be amazed at how “happy, joyous and free” letting that stuff go makes you feel.

For more organizing tips and info on Dream Life Workshops, click here.

Life right now is so Everything Everywhere All At Once, specifically with regards to reading material. I’m a voracious, insatiable written word binger and bulimic. I read until my eyes dry out, then panic and donate/recycle/delete everything that isn’t completely relevant at the moment. There’s sometimes remorse, and the rebuying of a book when someone recommends it yet again, but I refuse to shell out for another copy of Women Who Run with the Wolves only to remember that I still can’t stand it. I must have purchased that book four times (and subsequently donated it four times).

Here’s my plan for serenity w/r/t how and what I am going to read:

Easy Out—Book Clubs: For me, great in theory, terrible in reality. First, the books are chosen by consensus or the choice rotates among members. This means I have to purchase and read a lot of books I’m not that into. The only time it really paid off was when a group chose The Orphan Master’s Son, something I never would have picked up. It became one of my all time favorite novels. But it went downhill from there when the group read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Family Fang, and Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad, which was much acclaimed and much awarded. I couldn’t understand why Whitehead made such an incredible historical story surreal and confusing. For a white girl who didn’t know the history well, I couldn’t tell the real details from the fantasy, so it was mystifying to me. I felt the same way about Lincoln in the Bardo, and only got a quarter of the way through.

But I too was guilty of choosing a book for the club that was a bummer: H is for Hawk. It was so hyped from all corners and had the best book jacket design of the year, but what a let down. To cleanse my palate I quickly reread TH White’s The Goshawk and was reminded what a great read a “human with bird” novel could be.

I left the club shortly after H is for Hawk (my head hanging in shame—everyone was bored by the book). Leaving the book club meant one less potluck in my life, and since it was a Napa Valley group, the food and wine were a big deal. I hate, loathe, detest potlucks. I eat so particularly that I prefer no-food meetings or to bring my own meal. It was heaven not to have to grab some Whole Foods deli item to add to the other clubbers’ thoughtfully concocted dishes, usually themed around the book, for example, Korean BBQ for The Orphan Master’s Son.

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Twenty-three is as good a number as any: it makes you stretch to think of small things beyond the top ten or twelve obvious “shoulds” of your day. But it’s not so many that if you really try to answer them at the end of a long day you won’t feel too much resistance. Choose the number that would serve you best. You can leave out the little “easy wins” (brush and floss) and just do a dozen juicier, more challenging questions. Here are mine:

1. Did you brush your teeth and floss?

2. Did you meditate?

3. Did you make your bed?

4. Did you either use a neti pot or the red light mask this morning?

5. Did you eat between meals or go off the food plan?

6. Did you workout?

7. Did you write or polish at least one Substack article?

8. Did you focus at work today? If not, what distracted you?

9. What could you have done better today re work?

10. What could you have improved today re interactions with others?

11. Did you call at least three people to connect?

12. What three acts of service did you do?

    1. Did you practice gratitude as an action? Examples are send a handwritten thank you note, tip extra for exceptional service, leave a positive review for a local business you frequent or otherwise express appreciation.

13. Did you have caffeine after 3PM?

14. How happy were you on a scale of 1 - 10?

15. Is there a conversation you need to have with someone?

16. Do you have something on the calendar to look forward to?

17. If you are planning a party, a trip or an event, did you do one thing today to move the needle forward?

18. If you don’t have something to look forward to (trip, party, etc) what could you create and start formulating tomorrow?

19. Is your e-mail in-box at zero?

20. Is your physical in-box processed and at zero?

21. If it is a Friday, did you do a weekly review?

22. Do you have a pen and paper nearby to record your dreams?

Some of these questions are easy yes or nos, but some might take some journaling and thought in order to gain perspective and let situations go and relax your mind before hitting the pillow.

Share some of your questions in the comments and let me know what you do to “coach” yourself.

Garages are used for many things, but rarely do they simply shelter cars. They tend to be stuffed full of stuff that represents unmade decisions. Garages are usually cold in the winter, hot in the summer, dirty, bug and rodent-ridden and just plain nasty. Many of us can’t even fit a car between the boxes of college textbooks, old stereo equipment and the ubiquitous, “Maybe junior will want it when he moves out,” sofa. Where do you start?

As with any organizing project, start in one area at a time. Although I insist on emptying an entire closet when I work with clients, the garage is a different animal; bigger, dirtier and sometimes, it bites. Don’t worry about purchasing containers and shelving in advance; start by purging and sorting.

Create zones for your stuff: painting supplies, cleaning supplies, car supplies, household items, wine cellar, chest freezer, out-of-season clothes, gardening supplies, camping gear, gun safe. Whatever you store needs its own zone. As you sort, put like with like in the zone you’ve designated for those items.

Note: if you have disposable income, just do the overview of the garage and create clear categories. Then delegate the next step of physically moving the items. Have that person dust and wipe down things as they go, unless of course it’s trash and should just be put into a trash pile.

Do you have a paint can collection dating to the ’80s? Find out where you can either recycle your paint or dispose of it properly. If you have new or nearly full cans of paint in colors that you still may need, put them all together. Your painting supplies should be stored near the paint. If your brushes and rollers were not cleaned properly after last use, you will have to toss them. Make a note of what you have and what you need for your next painting project and keep it as a memo in your PDA, computer or in a household maintenance file.

Tools are a common item to find in a garage, and if you have more than a small portable box’s worth of tools I strongly encourage the purchase of a heavy duty tool box with several shallow drawers and on casters. Group like with like: wrenches, screwdrivers, hammers, etc. Keep extension cords rolled up and off the floor — hanging on pegs is my favorite solution for organizing cords, chain and ropes.

Gardening tools may also be stored in the garage. Again, keep them together, and up off of the floor if possible; I like the Rubbermaid racks (www.rubbermaid.com) for rakes, hoes, brooms and such. If you’re not handy with a level and a drill, you’ll need some help to get these racks put up straight and strong.

Car care items, such as Armor All, wax, towels for drying, chamois, etc. should be stored in a plastic bin or two. But most of us delegate car washing, so if you don’t wash your own car, get rid of this stuff.

Don’t store things in super large bins that become too heavy and unmanageable. For women, 30 pounds is about maximum for comfortable lifting.

When you get sections of floor cleared and exposed, take the opportunity to sweep or vacuum. If you see signs of rodents, now’s the time to set a few traps along the perimeter of the space. Again, delegate these tasks if you can.

Last, is your garage storage for Christmas decorations, Halloween costumes, keepsakes and out-of-season clothing? These things need to be especially well packed because they can be ruined so easily by pests, water or mildew. Be sure to use plastic bins with tightly fitting lids, and try to keep to all the same brand, style and color of bins. I’ve been to too many client’s homes where they had a dozen bins and a dozen lids but none of them were a match. Make it easy on yourself and stick to one brand. Sterilite and Rubbermaid (both at Home Depot last time I checked) are my favorites. But watch out — within each brand are many styles, each with their own particular lids.

About that psychic shift: there’s a saying, “You’re only as sick as your secrets,” and I extend that to, “or the messiest space on your property.” When you declutter and deep clean that space, so much room in the brain gets decluttered and cleaned out too. Whether you realized you were thinking about it or not, a weight will be lifted and you will feel freedom, relief and clarity.

Stuff in a garage tends to either be really valuable (tools, vehicles, bicycles, keepsakes) or not at all valuable (mousey couch, moth-eaten sweaters, broken stuff you intended to fix ages ago). When the ruined, unneeded and unwanted stuff moves out, we can finally find and appreciate what’s left and better care for it.

We spend so much of our precious time in our cars that they should be treated like extensions of our homes. A car belongs comfortably parked in the garage and you shouldn’t have to worry about boxes and bins falling onto them or fear of dinging the doors on old furniture that is in the way.

Another thing that happens is that by creating space in the garage you now can relieve some tension in the main house. Stuff can now shift and move because there’s room in the garage for it to land. Which means there will definitely be another layer of garage clearing in your future, but it will be a breeze compared to the first deep clean out.

House in Order/Dream Life Workshops

Client S: a simple technical problem solved saved a lot of space. S had just moved into her new incredible 6,000 square foot custom home but couldn’t figure out why her closet was not working for her. I noticed right away that the large double doors on the walk-in closet opened inward, taking up a lot of valuable space inside the closet. She had her carpenter change the doors to swing outward and we were able to add a cool feature—full-length mirrors on the inside of each door. Another benefit is that now the doors tend to stay closed (because they open into the bedroom) whereas they used to remain open most of the time out of habit.

With the doors out of the way, we were able to design handsome shoe shelves—also built by her cabinet maker—in the space now available behind the doors. She had had an old dresser in the closet that never really worked for her assortment of underthings and accessories (including an incredible jewelry collection), so, since she had the budget, we designed a custom cabinet for these items, including shallow, black-velvet-lined drawers with clear acrylic dividers for her jewelry.

Lastly, to take advantage of vertical space, extra shelves were added above the hanging clothes to store hat boxes and clearly labeled boxes of out-of-season clothes.

I loved feeling like a sorceress, suggesting these valuable improvements, but she would have saved a ton of money and time if she had called me before the builders.

For more about my organizing services, click here.

There are not too many instances in life that require complete silence. Environments that used to command respect (a medieval cathedral, a breathtaking canyon, a dimly lit forest) are now subject to mobile phone conversations, oblivious chit chat, and all sorts of other rude, entitled human noises.

Even when asked to be silent, as in a group meditation, some of us can’t help but express ourselves audibly. Loud sighs, with or without fluttering the lips, heavy ujjayi breathing, excess movement, dropped water bottles and the pings, buzzes and ring tones of devices that somehow didn’t get put into silent mode. What is up with all this noise?

Ego is the culprit. If you’re in a silent meditation meeting, consider the ego when tempted to let the big audible sigh loose or fumble around with your props. What are you avoiding by not maintaining silence and stillness? What is up with feeling the need to make a noise? Why are you not being considerate of your fellow practitioners?

Breathe through the need to move and make noise. Let the feelings make themselves known. Are you impatient with the process? Did someone drag you to the class or space (and you’re feeling resentful)? Do you need acknowledgment in some way? Do you think audible breath means you are chill and comfortable enough with yourself that you can let it all hang out? Examine your motives for disturbing others — you may not even realize this is what you are doing.

We can’t control our environment all that much. People will be disruptive. One day when I was hiking the Camino de Santiago, the famous pilgrimage trail in northern Spain, a group of teens ahead of me carried a boom box and blasted pop music as they walked. I felt forced to hike past them as quickly as possible and run ahead until I could no longer hear it, which was at least a half mile. It was a bummer. I can hardly remember a savasana at the end of a yoga class that was completely silent. And when have you been in a theatre recently where the audience is silent during the previews (or the movie, for that matter)?

What about inhuman sounds? Bird song, bees buzzing, the bark of a distant dog, trucks gearing down on the highway, a police siren, a helicopter propelling overhead on the way to rescue a hiker — these are all things we encounter when meditating outdoors and we can use them as disciplinary tools for the wandering mind. Animal sounds can be pleasant but still it’s important to notice and then let them go. The sounds of vehicles and the neighbor’s lawn mower can also be acknowledged and released. Sit with the agitation these sounds might bring up, and breathe through them.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,” the old prayer goes. You can control only yourself. When silence is called for, do your part to stay quiet and hold space for your fellows — whether meditators, students and other humans, or nature’s scaled, furred and feathered creatures.

House in Order/Dream Life Workshops

V’s overstuffed social calendar (an organizing challenge for another day) puts her in a constant rush, and her grooming supplies and cosmetics were haphazardly thrown into drawers. Her hair and make-up brushes had never been washed. She was just too busy. Her beautiful, pricey perfume bottles were covered in fingerprints and most had missing tops. She spent a lot of money to get the best make-up and grooming supplies—Chanel, Lancome, etc.—but didn’t take the time to care for them.

Clearly it was a matter of too much stuff. There were 25 black eyeliner pencils alone, a dozen more in plum and about 50 in shades of blue. After emptying out the entire bathroom, we took the time to thoroughly clean the drawers and soak all of the hair and make-up brushes. I had her choose the best of each type of brush and toss the rest. We used gorgeous Chinese lacquer dividers in the drawers and chose only the best and newest of each type of make-up (lipstick, mascara, shadows, foundations, pencils, etc.) and ruthlessly tossed the rest. We polished the perfume bottles and I made her smell each one—she was shocked to find she hated one or two of them!

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How did I get her to throw out all that “good” make-up? By reminding her of the fact that make-up has a very real shelf-life. Bacteria growth is real but invisible and easy to dismiss, but some of the decay was obvious—the pigments were separating from the base in the nail polishes and liquid foundation. V. needed to be realistic about how much make-up she actually used and what colors suited her at this time in her life. She had to review what she had and quit shopping until she truly needed something.

In addition to the expensive cosmetics and hair products, V. hoarded free samples. These she would not throw out. My question to her is, “what are you saving them for?” I put them in a basket and gave her some fun “homework”: she had to pick out at least one of the samples each week and use it up until all of the samples were gone. This way, she would feel pampered and also that she hadn’t “wasted” them by tossing them out.

She also had a gallon Ziplok full of old contact lens cases. There must have been thirty of them. I asked her to choose the three newest-looking ones, and toss the rest.

When we were finished, V. was thrilled with her bathroom “fit for a queen.” What remained in the drawers was clean and beautifully ordered, befitting the dollars represented. She had much more room to store basic bathroom supplies and towels, and she could identify what she was looking for at a glance. The ease of her daily routine from then on would make her feel far richer than all those unneeded cosmetics ever could.

For more about my organizing services click here.

There’s a point in life when paring back feels increasingly essential. For me, the desire to pare back and simplify, specifically with beauty routines, is a combination of wisdom, exhaustion, economics and disinterest. Pamela Anderson, 59, a bit behind me in years, and Jamie Lee Curtis, five years older at 67, are two paving the way for women to be a different, far more interesting kind of beautiful. I vividly remember Jamie Lee’s let-it-all-hang-out undies photo in Self magazine back in 2002—that was shocking and inspiring. It’s taken a while for the world to catch up to her.

Women spend beaucoup time in salons, doctor’s offices and beauty supply stores not to mention the time so many of us waste on the agony of the scale and the dread of swimsuit season. Productivity-wise, this puts us at such a disadvantage vis-à-vis men. Investment-wise it’s a bear. Soul-wise it can be crushing. At a certain age the hours, along with the energy and money shelled out trying to maintain our looks doesn’t feel well-spent.

Some summer nights I slip my tired, lizard-skinned body into bed and imagine a fairy god-stylist. She would dip me in a vat of olive oil, give me a haircut, a pedicure and a manicure, and clue me in to just which parts of a beauty routine would give me the biggest bang for my bucks and minutes. Alas, I have to figure it out for myself. Here’s the things that, when I do them consistently, really work. I also list a few things I think that now, at age 62, aren’t worth the effort.

Smile: I’m lucky to have never had a cavity, so a cleaning a couple of times a year is all I have to sit through. I believe in bleaching and it’s easier and cheaper than ever. Brushing with a Sonicare toothbrush has been effective. Flossing has to be non-negotiable. If I skip even a couple of days, I notice gum recession and get scolded by the dentist. Even if your teeth aren’t terrific by American standards, a smile is transformative. It’s so cool that white veneer Fembot perfection (cha-ching!) is out and natural, even quirky, grins (Audrey, Sofia, Kirsten Dunst) are in.

Make-up: The older I get, the worse I look with make-up. Watery eyes smear my mascara. Eye shadow looks tragic over wrinkled lids. Foundation—even the super expensive stuff—settles into pores and crevices. The other day I looked in a mirror and was appalled by the cakey mess that was my make-up. I dipped a napkin in my coffee and scrubbed it all off in the cafe bathroom. No make-up at all was 100% better. The thing I’m keeping is lipstick (see smile, above). Check out Pamela Anderson’s first foray into the spotlight without make-up at the September 2023 Vivienne Westwood show. Fresh and free.

Big-time Magnification Mirror, preferably lighted: The reason I hadn’t realized how bad my make-up looked that day was the aging lady combo of poor eyesight and poor lighting. I hadn’t bothered to check myself in my lighted magnifying mirror that morning. Use one to check the eyes for morning crustiness, the chin for errant hairs to be plucked, the teeth for spinach and other disasters so that we don’t scare the young folk.

Working out: The skin might be crepey and loose, but if the muscles underneath are strong and firm, at least there is some scaffolding to hold it up for a while. That said, it’s not necessary to spend hours at a gym—or even buy a gym membership. Consistency using body weight (push-ups, crunches, planks), uphill walks and simple weights or kettlebells at home can give incredible results with only a couple of hours a week.

Nails: I did the gel thing for years. Time plus money plus horribly thin and unhealthy nails. Now I keep them super short and unpolished. I think it looks better not to draw attention with colored polish to my hands, which at this point look like a 90-year old potato farmer’s. The toes, though, are another story. I pedicure and polish my own but with the poor eyesight, I have to contort myself to get my foot close enough to my face to deal with my cuticles. I’ll have to resort to pro pedicures fairly soon.

Sunscreen: If you are young and reading this please don’t make the mistake I did and skip the sunscreen. An ounce of prevention is worth thousands of dollars of laser resurfacing (which in my experience is not effective, see below).

Hair: This one is controversial because I have so many friends who are in the hair biz. I love salon results but I loathe salon time. That’s why pulled back hair is my jam. Occasionally I’ll throw some dye on it. I’ve never had good hair, so I’m not too attached to it, but a lot of readers will view professional haircuts and color as non-negotiable. It’s a fight I’ve given up on. Favorite brush for drying is the Oliva Garden large-ish round. The Wow powder is amazing for touching up roots between dye sessions.

Essentials in Photo: hair dryer with retractable cord is a favorite. No messy cord in the drawer. Plain black hair bands, Good barrettes. The Wavey comb has a cool look, is sturdy and made from ocean clean-up plastic. It comes in a slim recyclable cardboard sleeve. I’m giving these to everyone this Christmas. Bed Head Manipulator is the best thing for keeping fly-aways down that I’ve found. Also, when I did have a cute collarbone length cut, it kept the ends perky and flipped.

Diet: A healthy meal plan doesn’t have to take any extra time and energy, you just redirect it. Take all that energy spent with weight struggles or eating between three squares and spend it on chopping vegetables and preparing fresh meals. Take all that money spent in restaurants and on processed foods and the expensive coffee calorie bombs and spend it on organic whole foods. That line from the Bible, “Let food be thy medicine,” is one of the soundest pieces of advice in there. Teeth, skin, body, mood, energy—everything—is better when the diet is balanced.

Botox and stuff: Botox is my #1 favorite medical spa offering. It’s quick and effective, but it is expensive. Lisa at Duncan Dermatology in St Helena (California) even did something with botox on my jawline called a Nefertiti, and it seems to have lifted some sag in that area—so great!

I also have gotten tremendous results from Intense Pulsed Light (IPL) laser therapy for facial redness. As a kid I was called Rudolph because my nose was so red in the winter. IPL really helps with that. Fairly quick, but fairly expensive.

I bought a red light mask about a year ago and use it about four times a week and I see a difference in my skin texture. The cost was the same as one IPL treatment, so over the year it has paid for itself many times over (the results aren’t a strong per single treatment as the professional IPL, but they accumulate and the 12 minute time requirement, is negligible).

Laser hair removal in my 30s has saved me countless hours shaving my legs and underarms, not to mention all the time I don’t spend staunching bleeding from razor cuts. I’ve tried so many other medical spa treatments and most things, like skin resurfacing lasers, were a complete waste of money, time and pain.

Moisturizing: I had a friend in high school who scoffed at moisturizers because the first ingredient is usually water. Results are super temporary, but better than the alternative. In New York City I rang the filthy bell of a Chinese foot massage hole in the wall in the Meat Packing District and opted in for a full body massage and the masseuse covered me in Vaseline. Too tired to balk at the potential toxicity after a day of 11 miles walking on Manhattan cement, I just went with it. My skin looked amazing for days. So I put yummy smelling Jason oil on my hands and then slather on Vaseline and cover with white cotton gloves I buy by the dozens and toss after a week or so of use. It seems to turn back time so that my hands look more like late-50s than early 90s for 24 hours.

What parts of your beauty routine are essential and which have you let go?

House In Order/ Dream Life Workshops

When I jumped into the deep end of a 12-step food program in November 2024, I thought I knew about nutrition—macros, micros, calories, organic, grass-fed, whatever. But after three months of pink-cloud bliss and feeling incredible, I began a period of the worst exhaustion and intermittent water retention of my life. My hormone replacement therapy stopped working. Nothing could relieve the water weight. I started getting varicose veins and my skin quickly became scalier than a Game of Thrones dragon.

It was beyond disheartening, especially since I thought I was following the simple, whole foods meal plan the program provided perfectly and doing all the recovery tools (meetings, meditation, fellowship, service, etc). Not to mention, I have been sober and working an alcohol recovery program for 20 years. No binges, no booze—what was going on??

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Working side by side with a professional organizer is fantastic but might not fit into your budget. A good old paper book on organizing that you can dog-ear and make notes in can be a huge help. I’ve read scores and the following five have stood the test of time. Published between 1998 and 2006, I still refer to them. If you are looking for motivation along with clear how-tos, one of these might work for you. (And in terms of budget, I just saw Kingston’s book on Amazon for $4.98, which seems tragically cheap for something so full of value. )

“Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui,” by Karen Kingston (1999)

Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese art of balancing the energy (chi) and elements of a space. When it became trendy in the West in the 1990s, I was highly skeptical, but I kept noticing this little book for sale when I stood on line at Jamba Juice waiting for my Protein Berry smoothie and one day I finally bought it. It has become it is my all-time favorite organizing book.

Kingston spells out why clutter is so draining — it represents “stuck” energy. She gives the reader insight into how and why we get stuck and direction on how to identify and clear clutter and maintain a clutter-free home. She explains basic feng shui principles and why they make sense. This is a wonderful read for those ready to bring consciousness and energy to every corner of the home — including under the kitchen sink. You can’t hide from the chi!

“It’s All Too Much,” by Peter Walsh (2006)

Walsh is the Australian psychologist-organizer from the tv show Clean Sweep that ran on TNT way back when and he appeared a few times on Oprah’s day time show, which got him notoriety in America. Walsh digs into the psychology of Stuff (capital S) and how to make letting go of clutter less painful. This book is for you sentimental types. If nostalgia keeps you from tossing Grandma’s moldy table linens that have been in the attic for 12 years, this is the book for you. Also good for those of us who have stored our “thin” clothes from high school in the garage, hoping to fit back into them some day. Whether you will or won’t fit them, they’re out of style so take a last look to make sure there aren’t any sellable vintage gems and move them along.

“Organizing from the Inside Out,” by Julie Morgenstern (1998)

A classic. I took classes on organizing as a profession from Julie in New York City and it was some of the best money I’ve ever spent. All of her books are excellent, but this one is essential for understanding how your personal way of thinking, your personal circumstances and your personal values need to be identified in order to implement organization that lasts.

“Getting Things Done,” by David Allen (2001)

GTD, as Allen calls his method, is mainly for the office and paper management, but it also delves deeply into what causes procrastination and project roadblocks. I took my first seminar with David Allen in 1998 and it was life changing. I continued to take his seminars whenever I could while he was leading them and always learned new tricks to better organization and time management. But the book spells it out so clearly that if you read it and follow the suggestions you will save thousands of dollars (and hours) on seminars.

“It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Keys,” by Marilyn Paul (2002)

Paul’s book is for those who can’t find their way through the clutter to accomplish what they’d like to in life on a material and/or metaphysical level. Her focus is on identifying one’s purpose behind getting organized and visualizing success. This book is more spiritual and for fine tuning—start with David Allen or Julie Morgenstern if you want more nuts and bolts practicality.

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Words, words, words.

And a few pictures…

I’ve been writing professionally since 1988, first for wine magazines and wine brands around the world, then on organizing and productivity, including a column in the Napa Valley Register for the past 18 years. Simultaneously I’ve explored yoga, travel, meditation, recovery, dream interpretation, literature, health and fitness, fashion and art and get such a high from weaving it all together. I’m sure I’m just a drop in the ocean wave that is this holistic trend of integrating everything in life for maximum joy and fulfillment, and if I’m echoing and repeating what others are saying, oh well! One of the hard things I’ve learned on my journey is that there is no shame in being part of the herd. That lead dog stuff is passé.

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Near the summit of Fuji-san, 2am, after a lightening storm. Dreamed it, did it.

If you dream it, you can do it.

Let’s get dreaming, decluttering, visioning, learning, seeking, and making it happen. Never hesitate to contact me for coaching on specific organizing and productivity issues so you can keep moving forward or at least make the most of your gestation and transition times; these can be some of the most meaningful lessons. Sometimes we need the tapas—the heat or challenge—to learn something to the bone.