This month’s theme: IN IT ✨

We were out for coffee as a family of five + someone asked us how it’s going with three kids. Isaac jokingly said, “I feel like we have our training wheels on.” YEP. It’s chaotic, it’s magical, we’re tired, + I’m so grateful! I'm coming at you from the in between, meaning… we are slowlyyyyyyy finding our groove, but mostly embracing the juggle. I’m using this rare moment to myself (Maia’s asleep! Boys are at farm school!) to write to you. So this MOTHER / GATHER doesn’t really have a theme other than I’m IN IT. I’m going to share a few things I’m loving + thinking about in a random, rapid-fire way. I hope you enjoy! It would mean the world to me if you subscribed! (Or pass it on to a mama who’s in it, too) 😍

The rest of this post is for paid subscribers to Becoming A Mother. If you’d like to join us, subscribe here! I’m so happy you’re here!

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Postpartum VLOG: Week 6 with Maia 😍

In this video, I’m sharing:

• Maia’s six week update!

• Celebrating our First 40 Days together 🥹💛

• Bleeding is finally DONE… + how I wish I wouldn’t have spiraled so much about it

• First bath!

• First date with just me, Isaac, + Maia

• Thinking about a “closing” ritual for this beautiful postpartum cocoon season

• ~Re-entering the world slowly~

• My heart is so full!!!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

PS — Don’t forget to watch all of my postpartum vlogs!

• Week 1 with Maia — All about our first week with Maia girl 🌸 (+ some postpartum realness)

• Week 2 with Maia — Feeling off, anxiety spirals, + happy tears over having a daughter 🥹

• Week 3 with Maia — First walk, fear of pooping, + all the grunts 😆

• Week 4 with Maia — Savoring the newborn cuddles, back to coffee, + my life force coming back

• Week 5 with Maia — 1 month old 😭, our first outing, + big feelings

Aaaand, last up… Week 6 with Maia (+ end of the first 40 days!). Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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Postpartum VLOG: Week 5 with Maia 😍

In this video, I’m sharing:

• Maia’s five week update!

• Our first outing for Isaac’s birthday!

• Cluster feeding, baby acne, + withdrawals from not holding her all day long

• My first workout — very gentle + felt so good

• Tiny, tiny bit of bleeding still

• Navigating transitions + big feelings

• I can’t believe there’s only a few more days until our First 40 days are over 😭

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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Postpartum VLOG: Week 4 with Maia 😍

In this video, I’m sharing:

• Maia’s four week update!

• Maia’s been waking up every 90 min on the dot at night (other than one magical day when she slept 6 hours straight 🤯), so now I’m back to drinking coffee lol

• Embracing (+ loving!) all the contact naps

• She’s growing SO much… I’m working on not being so nostalgic, + instead focusing on gratitude + savoring it all

• Leaky boobs, intense let downs, + almost done bleeding

• It feels like my life force is starting to come back

• We are officially a minivan family!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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Postpartum VLOG: Week 3 with Maia 😍

In this video, I’m sharing:

• Maia’s three week update!

• aaaaaand, the lack of sleep has caught up to me 😆

• Went on our first walk!

• Update on bleeding + fear of pooping

• Maia is fully in her grunting era lol

• Starting to feel a little bit out of the postpartum time warp

• Big changes for our family with the boys starting farm school soon 🫶

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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Postpartum VLOG: Week 2 with Maia 😍

In this video, I’m sharing:

• Maia’s two week update!

• A bit of a harder postpartum experience physically this time around — feeling off + anxiety spirals around blood loss

• How going on reddit actually helped me 👀

• Working with a midwife postpartum (even though I had a hospital birth with an OB!)

• My answer to, “Do you feel like you trust your body more?”

• First time crying about having a daughter (happy tears!)

• Deleting safari from my phone (again!)

• Days are flying + Maia is the most gentle soul to ever exist!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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Hiii friends 💛

I recorded six postpartum videos (through the First 40 Day!) in real time. I went back + forth on if I wanted to share them on Substack or not. They almost felt too precious + vulnerable to share. I decided to wait until after my cocoon season was over to see how I’d feel.

I realized that I do want to share, because even though every postpartum journey is unique for every mama, there’s also so many relatable moments. + I personally love watching postpartum videos, especially when I’m in it. I hope you enjoy!

+ if you know a mama who’s newly postpartum + would love these videos too, consider gifting her a subscription! xo

Postpartum VLOG: Week 1 with Maia 😍

It’s my first postpartum video with Maia! The word that kept coming to me this week was: surreal. Everything felt so surreal. (Maybe it’s because I was in heaven?!) She’s an absolute angel + I’m just so grateful. The transition has felt seamless in so many ways. It really feels like Maia has been with us all along.

In this video, I’m sharing:

• All about Maia’s first week

• Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, nourishing postpartum food + drinks, future vision I had of Maia that made me cry

• Out of body experience, blood clots, fear of pooping, crazy night sweats story

• Differences + similarities between this postpartum period with Maia vs Noah + Gabriel

• Birth story sneak peeks

• How the transition’s going for Noah + Gabriel

• + of course, Maia’s perfection!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!)

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One year ago, I posted my first Substack Hi, there : ) AND posted my first instagram post in 1.5+ years. I remember my hands shaking + my heart pounding. Was I ready for this?

My intention for my 35th birthday was: It’s safe to fully express myself. + starting to ~re-enter~ the online world of Substack + Instagram was one way of sharing my voice + creatively expressing myself.

It sounds kind of silly writing that, a little dramatic even. But after spending 1.5+ years “offline,” I was hesitant about how being back online would affect me. (Spoiler alert: Of course it affected me. 3 weeks in + I was already like, Oh gosh, I’m addicted to social media again. Read: 3 weeks on Substack: The “oh shit” moment… AND, I ended up getting off instagram, again. Read: Another Substack post talking about quitting Instagram… ). AND, I have also seen how meaningful writing publicly has been for me. It’s a both/and.

Re-reading my first Substack article, I can’t help but smile.

A] I’m so proud of that girl. (for having the courage to try something new + doing something that felt very vulnerable + scary!)

B] I still AM that girl (trying my best to live more offline, while also wanting to share about it online haha oh the irony 😆).

So now that it’s been a year… where to from here?

Well first, thank you. 🥹🫶 Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting me. It truly means the WORLD. I know there’s endless things to consume online (it’s overwhelming!), so the fact that you’re here + reading + supporting really means so much.

My intention this year on Substack is to create with joy. One of the things I love the most about Substack is that it reminds me of old school blogs + the OG instagram days. When everything that was shared was simply for the joy of it. I want to romanticize my relationship with Substack, while also being intentional with the time + energy + love I pour into these posts.

A few subjects I’d love to write about + explore this year:

~ Motherhood with THREE littles 🥰
~ Maia’s birth story! + postpartum videos!
~ Building community in a new town + friendships as an adult
~ Finding rhythms + rituals that feel nourishing to our whole family
~ Creativity + identity in motherhood
~ Aaaand, intentional living ✨ (currently feeling very inspired to live like the 90s… reading The Power In Your Hands + loving it!)

But we shall seeeeeee!

Thanks for being a part of this little corner of the internet. I hope it’s nourishing for you. I always envision my posts being read with a coffee + croissant in hand… or at least, that they give you that kind of energy 🥰

Can’t wait to see what this next year brings ✨💛

xo

With love,
Elisabeth

This month’s theme: Postpartum cocoon season!! I want to share all the things I've been loving this postpartum. I truly can’t believe my First 40 Days are over 😭 I’m starting to re-enter the world (slowly!!) + continuing to give myself lots of grace + space for the rest of this Fourth Trimester. I’ve really been loving noticing how unique each of my postpartum periods have been (+ babies for that matter!). Grateful for it all 💛

My last MOTHER / GATHER was when things start to break + it’s wild how much has changed since then. We are officially on the other side of the threshold. The greatest change, of course, is that Maia’s here! We also have fallen more + more in love with Ojai by the day, our kids are in a little farm school two days a week, + we had SO much support during the birth + postpartum cocoon + really leaned into “it takes a village.”

Have there been bumps with this new transition? Absolutely. Manyyyyyy bumps lol. Isaac has been joking that he’s on the ~treadmill of life~. He’s been so sweet with taking the boys full time the past week since Avery + my parents left, so that I could still rest in the cocoon with Maia + honor the First 40 Days. I’m so, so thankful. But now it’s time for me to start spreading my wings, so we can find our flow as a family of five!! This is only the beginning! Here we gooooo!!! 😍

The rest of this post is for paid subscribers to Becoming A Mother. If you’d like to join us, subscribe here! I’m so happy you’re here!

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I turn 36 today and my “First Forty Days” with Maia ends today. How special is that!? Feeling all the feels. More soon on all things Maia + postpartum!

Every year on my birthday, I’m reminded of my favorite birthday gift ever… that I stole from my friend Lauren. It’s a gift worth stealing + I highly, highly encourage you to steal it, too. I wanted to share it with you today 🥳

See the email below that I sent to everyone in my life for my 30th birthday that made an impact on me in some way — friends from grade school, aunts + uncles, post grad mentors, + more 👇

Hi!

If you are getting this email — it means that I care about you so much, + it would mean the world to me to get to know you more intimately, + have you be a part of my 30th (!!!) birthday. EEEK.

Okay, so a little backstory: I interviewed my friend Lauren two years ago on The CHAARG Podcast. During the podcast, we somehow ended up talking about her 30th birthday (no idea how that came up), + it BLEW. MY. MIND. I knew that I wanted to do exactly what she did for her 30th. + honestly, I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Now, I’m finally turning 30, + *while I’m not going to Bali* (lol — she went to solo trip to Bali, which is where she read her letters… incredible), I am so excited to *hopefully* read a letter from you.

By now you are probably like…. WHAT? lol

One of my favorite things in the world is connecting with people in a deep way. This is why I love having a podcast so much. I love hearing stories from peoples’ lives that were defining moments — what they’ve learned + how they have grown. I love hearing about regrets, fear, joy, mentors, + what books they love. I love hearing about peoples’ take on spirituality + what it means to be alive. + so much more.

(In other words — Chicken Soup For The Soul was my favorite book as a kid. I think I’ve read like 10–15 of them lol)

It’s crazy, because I’ve had SO many deep conversations with people on the podcast… but I realized that some of the people that I’m closest with, I haven’t had these vulnerable conversations with.

My love language is letters. Handwritten letters.

What I would absolutely love for my 30th birthday: I want to hear what makes you you. I want to hear your stories!! I am asking all of you to write me a handwritten letter.

Some things you can write to me about:

• A funny story or memory we share

• Something that caused you pain that made you who you are

• The most uplifting thing you have ever experienced or witnessed

• Your biggest struggle

• Your biggest fear

• Your biggest regret

• What would surprise your 25 year old self about the person that you are right now?

• Something you believe that others may think is crazy

• Something you are curious about or working on right now

• A spiritual experience you’ve had

• Your proudest moment from last year

• Advice on relationships/marriage… ; )

• A dream that you have that you haven’t really talked about

• Anything you want!

I know this may seem like a big ask, + it may seem daughtening. I don’t need a novel (although by all means — go for it!), all I ask is that it’s authentic to you. Take 30 minutes to sit down + write + just see what flows! It would mean the world to me!

I can’t think of a better way to spend my 30th birthday. I’m planning on going to a pool or lake + reading all the letters solo. As my friend Lauren said in her original email (that I used to help create mine!): Some of the best realizations about ourselves are through hearing other people’s experiences — they light you up to different views + perspectives on life. I can’t wait to laugh + cry with you through your stories + learn more about myself through learning about you.

This is exactly how I feel!

My birthday is August 31. Please place your letter in the mail by August 20th, so that there is plenty of time for it to get safely to me!

My address is: X

Feel free to share this with anyone! The more, the merrier!

I CAN’T WAIT! Thank you for being a part of my birthday… + for closing the last decade of my life with me ❤

Questions:

• How did I get people’s emails? If I didn’t already have it, I either texted them, DM’ed them on instagram, or messaged them on facebook lol. I literally just said, “Hi! What’s your email?”

• Was it a little bit awkward to contact people that I haven’t talked to in YEARS? Yes, of course! Was it totally worth it? YES. I didn’t think too much about it though, because I knew that this was important to me + that they would understand why I was contacting them once they read the email.

• Did you send a reminder email? Yes! I sent one additional follow up email. I’m someone who loves reminders, so I figured it could be helpful!

• Did some people not write a letter to you? Yes! + I didn’t take that to heart at all. I made it clear that there were zero hard feelings (in my reminder email) if they didn’t write a letter.

• What was your process like for opening the letters? Originally, I was planning on reading them all on my birthday — but as I opened the first letter, I realized that I wanted to savor this process. So instead, I chose 1–5 letters to open every morning. It became such a beautiful morning ritual. After reading the letter/s, I reached out to the person + thanked them. All of the letters were so touching, + I was amazed by how vulnerable people were. I still have all of the letters to this day (6 years later!) + plan on keeping them forever!

To everyone who wrote me a letter — thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so deeply grateful + I cherish all of them. I cherish you!

Also, don’t be surprised if you get a very similar email at some point. I’m already imagining ~mother themed~ letters in the future. 😍🌸 I want to hear more of your stories!!

With love,
Elisabeth

We welcomed Maia to the world on a Wednesday morning, 7/22. Her birth was nothing short of a miracle, as all babies’ births are.

I feel like I’m finally coming back into my body — the first few days, I was in complete shock mode. It took some time to come down from the birth portal + feel embodied again. But I’m feeling much more grounded, so grateful, + absolutely in love with Maia.

Her birth was…

Joy-filled
Wild
Challenging
Both long + short
Empowering
Supportive
Romantic
Unexpected
Pure magic

I’m so happy to be back in the newborn cocoon… it’s one of my favorite seasons. It’s slow + sacred + I’m just trying my best to soak it all up. Maia really is an angel + I can’t wait to share her birth story, as well as share more about the first few weeks postpartum (it’s flying by!) 💓

But for now — say hi to Maia!

With love,
Elisabeth

As I fully go inward + enter the birth portal (I’m 39 weeks on Saturday! 😍), I wanted to express my gratitude to you for reading, following along, + sharing in this sacred space with me. Substack has been such a special creative outlet for me this past year + I can’t wait to continue writing + connecting with you here.

To celebrate this birth season + sacred cocoon, I’m offering 50% off annual subscriptions to Becoming A Mother for the rest of summer 💛

My intention is to be mostly offline in July + August. I especially hope to spend the first 40 days fully present with my family… soaking in the newborn bliss bubble without technology. But I’m also giving myself grace + permission to change my mind if I feel called to share little glimmers along the way. I’m staying flexible + open to the magic of what this season will bring.

If you’re new here, hi! I love writing about motherhood, marriage, community, intentional living, + becoming. There’s over 50 posts to dive into + explore!

I’d love to have you join us ✨
*Use this link for 50% off annual subscriptions 💛

50% Off Annual Subscriptions

(+ yes, this means that I’m committed to another year on Substack 🤩 I can’t wait to share more!) xo.

See you on the other side!

With love,
Elisabeth

I can’t believe we are finally here! I’m 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow + I’m in ALL my feels. I can’t believe that the next time I share a vlog, I’ll be holding our baby!

ICYM:

• I’m pregnant! VLOG

• First trimester pregnancy VLOG

• Second trimester pregnancy VLOG

Third trimester started off…. insane. We were still living with my parents + had no idea where we were going to live + birth this baby! But pretty quickly after, besides getting SO sick with norovirus, things started moving + flowing: we found our home, we decided on our birth team, we started making decisions on routine + support + postpartum. We still had a few big questions to answer, but things were feeling good. Then, as life happens, a major birth pivot showed up this week that we were not expecting.

I think the biggest lesson this baby is helping me learn is TRUST + SURRENDER. Fully trusting in my body, fully trusting in this baby, fully trusting in the support that is here for us, fully trusting in the divine plan. This whole pregnancy has been so wild with all the pivots that our family has gone through, but I do have this deep inner knowing that everything is going to work out perfectly + that there’s a larger story at play that could be even more magical than I ever expected. It’s all happening for us!

Baby, I’m so excited to welcome you + love you + bring you into our sweet family. You are such a special soul. I cannot believe I get to meet you THIS MONTH + that you’ll make us a family of FIVE. It feels so, so surreal still… AND, it feels so perfect. Here’s to a beautiful birth together + the most sacred cocoon. I love you.

In this video, I’m sharing:

• How I’m feeling in third trimester… + fully entering the birth portal!

• If I think we’re having a boy or girl (I had a dream about a gender 👀)

• Our little one night babymoon that was so special + so needed

• The major birth pivot I didn’t see coming… + how I’m approaching it

• My birth intentions!!!

• How I’m thinking about the postpartum cocoon 😍

• + more!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!) 🌺

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Ahhh, prenatal yoga is the best!

I just found this video we filmed (from my pregnancy with my firstborn, Noah!) + I had to share it with you. I was lucky enough that our doula was also a yoga instructor + came over 1x week to lead us through a prenatal yoga flow during the last couple months of pregnancy. They were always one of the highlights of my week + helped me feel so strong + grounded going into birth.

This is a 50 minute energizing + connecting flow — that you can do with your partner, or just by yourself!

(PSA: if you live in Chicago or LA, Amy Owen is an amazing doula + I couldn’t recommend her enough! She splits her time in both places!)

This prenatal yoga flow is available for paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother. You can upgrade your subscription here if you'd like access! Thank you, always, for your support! 🫶

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One of the greatest motherhood lessons I’ve learned is that every pregnancy, birth, + parenting journey is so, so unique — for both mama + baby. You can do all the googling in the world, read all the books, + follow all the instagram accounts to try to prepare for this life-changing transition, but it’s not until it’s here that you’ll know what feels right.

I say this because your postpartum essentials list might look different than mine. However, something I think we can all agree on is to make sure you are giving yourself plenty of self-care during this time.

It took me 5 days after giving birth to my firstborn (Read: The Birth Of Noah Sol, My Home Birth Story) + realizing that I had washed my face zero times that I was like… Wait, I need to nurture myself, too.

“After a baby is born, there is a sacred window of time. A time for complete rejuvenation of a woman’s physical, mental, + spiritual health. A time for deep, extended bonding with her newborn.” — Ysha Oakes

Nurture your mind + body + spirit + space. Give yourself grace during this time + let yourself be. There’s no greater transition than motherhood — I hope this list can help set you up for all the beauty of what’s to come. Enjoy the journey, mama. 💛

I can’t believe that in a few weeks, I’ll be back in the sacred postpartum cocoon. In this post, I’m sharing 29 things that helped me feel nourished after birth — from all things cozy to breastfeeding support to the simple rituals that make postpartum so special to me.

This is one of my favorite seasons of life, + I feel so, so grateful that I get to experience the magic of the newborn days again.

This post is for paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother — if you’d like to read on, you can upgrade your subscription here. Thank you, always, for your support! 🫶

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I’m calling in a 90s summer. Landline phone, magazines at the pool, homemade popsicles, casual conversations with the checkout clerks, + AIM away messages. Are you with me?

Seriously though.

I know, I know. It’s so easy to romanticize the past… + I’m not saying I actually want to go back to the 90s (no thank you to printing out maps 😅), but in a world that’s increasingly AI, digital, + fast paced, I’m ready to pump the brakes + bring back little elements from the 90s that my soul is yearning for.

So I started daydreaming what a 90s summer would look like… here’s my plan 😍

#1. Treat my phone like a landline.
I’M THIS CLOSE TO BUYING A LANDLINE. I’ve been debating whether I should get a wall stand for my phone or go all out + get a landline. Well, I decided that I’m sick of talking about a landline without actually doing anything. I’ve had this incredibly cute landline phone in my cart for a few weeks.

The only thing that’s making me pause is the amount of spam calls I get… I get 5 spam calls for every 1 normal call. 😅 Will I instantly get sick of picking up spam calls? (Right now, my phone is almost always on silent.) I’ll have to buy a bluetooth-to-landline adaptor + then it will connect to my phone. So all my calls will go through my iPhone (which will be on silent) and the house phone. Sounds a little extra haha, but I’m committed to the process + I’m so curious how it will feel. aaaaaand, I just love the look of a mustard retro phone! Eeeeep. I’ll keep you posted on what direction I go!

#2. Treat my laptop as a desktop. Bring back the computer room!
No more using my laptop at the kitchen table. Way too often, I’m trying to multitask… watching the kids, while hopping on my computer “for one quick thing.” Rarely is that ever fulfilling. Usually, I end up frustrated + irritated. SO… I’m bringing back the computer room!! I would love to buy a yellow desktop computer (obsessed! birthday present?!), but for now, I’m starting with keeping my laptop in our office only.

(I’m not going to lie, I do love writing on my computer in bed with a cup of coffee when the boys are out of the house… but no more taking my computer out of the office when they’re home!)

#3. Ditch digital + get physical wherever possible.
Reading paperback books instead of audiobooks. Printing photos instead of just keeping them on my phone. Taking notes in a journal instead of taking notes on my phone. Workouts in studio instead of online workouts. Shopping in stores instead of online shopping. Calling instead of texting. Asking a friend for a recommendation instead of asking Google or ChatGPT.

Sure, some of these things are more convenient + make sense. But I want to be more mindful of what I’m doing online vs what I can do in person. Less digital + more physical.

#4. Say hi to neighbors!
We recently moved + we are on such a cute cul-de-sac. We’ve already met a few of the neighbors + everyone is so friendly. I want to smile + say hi to our neighbors more... + my goal right now is to say hi to one new person every day while we are still so new to the area. I’m dreaming of the kind of neighborhood where everyone knows each other’s names, kids run between houses, people wave + stop to chat, we babysit each other’s kids for date nights, someone drops off chicken soup when you’re sick, + everyone truly looks out for one another.

#5. Create away messages??????
Wouldn’t it be such a vibe if our phones had away messages, like we did during the AIM days?! I wrote about how our culture has normalized not responding (Read: When Not Responding Becomes Normal + What It’s Doing To Our Relationships), + I honestly think away messages could help, or at least provide context when you’re in a season of life where responding is harder. I’ll be in the postpartum cocoon soon enough + I’m already planning on telling everyone that I’ll be very, very slow to respond during this sacred window 🙏

#6. Ask a friend instead of ChatGPT.
I was thinking about this the other day… how back when our moms were our age, they’d ask their friends for advice. Nowadays, we ask ChatGPT. It’s way easier + more convenient + maybe even gives us “better” answers, yes… but it kind of kills my soul that we’ve lost this human element of connection.

I am a resource queen + I love digging deep into finding the best everything (+ sharing it!), but I want to do a better job of pausing before immediately googling/ChatGPTing + ask myself, “Is there someone I can ask about this instead?” Because ultimately, it’s about the human connection that comes from the conversations.

#7. Print photos!!!!!!!!
I barely have ANY photos printed. That is changing this summer. You heard it first: This is the year I finally start to make the baby books. It’s happening! Also, I’d love to start making a family photo album. Maybe even incorporate some scrapbooking?! I used to live for scrapbooking. I had posters all over my wall with print out quotes + magazine cutouts I loved. Now that I’m writing this… maybe I need to make a physical summer mood board. 😍

#8. Make a summer soundtrack.
I miss the burnt CDs days. I would spend all day on iTunes with my best friend downloading songs (weren’t they $1 each?! WILD to think about) + listening to them on repeat. OR, going to a record store + buying an entire album even though we only knew one song from the artist. More listening to FULL albums! I’ll be making a summer playlist (that will double as the birth playlist 🤩) that we listen to all summer long.

#9. Use my watch to tell the time! + buy a clock?!
I love my watch! Every time I wear it, it instantly becomes the “go to” for checking the time rather than my phone. But, I think I need to take it one step further + buy a clock, especially for my room. Knowing that I’ll be going into the night feeding era with a newborn, I want to be able to check the time without instantly reaching for my phone.

#10. Movie nights?! 🤩
This is coming from the girl who doesn’t own a TV lol. Also, Noah + Gabriel have only watched Paw Patrol + Moana (+ it’s only on an airplane… or if we are really, really sick). BUT… they are starting to get to the age (2.5 + 4) where I’m thinking about incorporating movies. I especially love the idea of buying a projector + watching a movie with sourdough pizza under the stars. I remember loving Friday movie nights as a kid with personal pizzas from Pizza Hut lol. I think 1x/month sounds really nice for our family.

If anyone has suggestions on movies for littles, please let me know! You better believe I’ll be watching them first lol. Isaac had a great idea of incorporating Planet Earth.

Okay, I actually have so many more 90s summer ideas… so there may need to be a part two! BUT FIRST, I’d love to hear: What do you miss most about the 90s that you want to bring back?!

With love,
Elisabeth

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PS — If this post resonated, I’d be so grateful if you liked, restacked, or passed this on to a friend 🫶 + if you’d like to receive my writing in your inbox every week, subscribe here 🥰

Also read: When Not Responding Becomes Normal… + What It’s Doing To Our Relationships

Hi friends!

I’m so, so excited to share a very simple phone shift that’s actually been WORKING for me. That I have honestly never heard before.

I’ve been on a mission the past decade to actively detach from the phone, + I’ve tried all sorts of things:

• Facebook detoxes. Back when FB was a thing 🤣

• 30 days of no input. Please excuse the ~WaY tHaT I wrOtE~ back then lol but the concept is brilliant for a little 27 year old back in 2017, + is very similar to Cal Newport’s suggestion in Digital Minimalism on 30 days of removing all nonessential technology

• Removing all notifications from my phone (+ almost always on silent!). I’ve done this for years at this point. Of course, also removing all social media apps, too! Same with gmail, slack, etc!

• Deleting IG for 1.5 years. Read: 1 Month Off Instagram Turned Into 1.5+ Years... Why I Took A Break + What My “Plan” Is Now

• Aaaaaaand, currently on another IG break (maybe forever!). Read: Another Substack Post Talking About Quitting Instagram

• + so much more

Clearly, this has been something I’ve been aware of for a long time — the addiction to the phone. Well, the iPhone. Synonymous with “phone” these days lol.

I still remember so clearly when my high school boyfriend showed me his iPhone he just bought. I had yet to even hear about the iPhone. He excitedly showed me all the apps, especially Safari. I was so confused — Wasn’t that what the computer was for? Why did he need that? I honestly thought the iPhone seemed so strange + that I would never want or need one. Plus, I loved my pink Motorola Razr.

A year later, I had an iPhone in hand, too.

As did every single person I knew 😅

Isn’t it wild to think that most of us have had an iPhone for almost 20 YEARS?

20 years!!!!!!

20 years of stolen focus
Endless things to consume
A new worthiness model based on “likes”
Connection far + wide… yet often zero depth
An increasingly anxious + overwhelmed generation, fueled by a constant sea of input
Genius marketers doing everything they can to keep us on just a little bit longer…
I could go on….

Many of us are ready for a change. Many of us have tried to change. But if you’re like me — nothing has fully landed.

Until now. 🙃

Here’s the simple shift that’s actually working for me:
I deleted Safari from my phone.

Yes, I deleted Safari!!!!!!

Let’s back up a bit + I’ll share the story about how this came to me (+ how it’s been going!).

Earlier last year, I pre-ordered the LightPhone III. The phone looked amazing + my intention was to experiment with it as a trial run (1 month? 3 months? 6 months? A full year?!). However, the timeline kept getting pushed back… + after 6 months of waiting + an upcoming move, I canceled my order.

However, there had to be a way I could make my phone as similar as I could to the LightPhone. My phone had already been stripped down a lot. For years, I haven’t had: notifications, social media, gmail, etc. I’ve even experimented with turning my phone in black + white mode, but I didn’t find that helped that much.

What was keeping me so tethered to my phone then?

There’s a weird phenomenon I’ve noticed: Whenever I remove one addicting app from my phone (ie Instagram), there soon becomes another app that becomes my go-to click (ie Email).

Have you had that experience? It’s like our brain so desperately wants to grasp onto something, anything, that will help numb us a bit from the present.

I realized that thing for me was now Safari. Because even though I barely had an apps on my phone, I was still able to check my email or instagram, google anything that was on my mind + instantly have an answer… by going on Safari. Of course, the platforms weren’t as addicting when viewed on a browser (+ I wasn’t on them nearly as long!) — but there was still a pull that was present.

Once I didn’t have access to Safari anymore, all of that access was immediately gone. It took a couple days to get used to (I would try to go to the Safari app to look something up, only to realize — it was gone!), but I was surprised by how quickly my mind adapted to this new way of relating to my phone. + I love it!

It’s been 6 months since I deleted Safari + it’s been amazing noticing the shift in my phone habits. Even when I brought back Safari for a bit after finding our home to help with all the planning, ordering, logistics, etc… + I noticed it didn’t have the hold on me like it used to. The pattern is broken! Am I still on my phone more than I’d like? Yes. But I’m amazed by how much this one simple shift has helped me spend less + less time on my phone.

How to delete Safari:
*PS: You can’t just hover over the app + press the X. It will only “delete” it from your Home Screen, but you’ll still be able to search Safari + it will open. This approach below makes Safari completely unsearchable on your phone.

• Go to Settings on your iPhone

• Tap Screen Time

• Tap Content + Privacy Restrictions

• Turn it on (if not already)

• Tap Allowed Apps + Features

• Turn Safari OFF

+ there ya go! TRY IT! + let me know what you think! 🥰

Slowly, but surely, I’m continuing to untether myself from my phone. (My next experiment will be treating my phone like a landline… more on that in another post!)

But deleting Safari really has been the #1 thing so far that has helped me spend WAY less time on my phone. 💛

With love,
Elisabeth

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This month’s theme: Release.

Well friends. This month was another doozy. It really feels like I’m constantly swimming in an unpredictable sea, trying to keep my head above water… with a few moments of rest here + there.

We started this month in Florida, still living with my parents, having no idea where we were going to live… in the middle of the month we moved into our home (!) after a wild story of thinking we were going to live somewhere entirely different (we even paid the security deposit!)… + we ended the month with all of us getting Norovirus.

I’m sick + tired of talking about being sick + tired, but with projectile vomiting, shitting my pants, + running to the bathroom every hour with straight liquid diarrhea… I’ve been absolutely miserable. I was sobbing to Isaac about how much pain I was in + he said to me a few times, “Don’t suffer more than you need to. Just focus on resting.”

But how could I not? I’m 33 weeks pregnant, extremely hormonal, feeling so weak because I can’t keep anything down, have not been sleeping well at all, my heart feels the deep ache of desperately needing support while we navigate all of this alone, fear + sadness is arising because I just interviewed a lot of midwives last week + was in tears every time sharing about my birth with Gabriel, while also feeling so overwhelmed with moving, furnishing a home, establishing our new rhythms, trying to find babysitters, looking into schools for the first time, + the strong desire to just be able to nest now (even though I know there’s still so much to do!). All of this arising while Isaac pulls back my hair while I vomit into the bowl + cleans the toilet for the tenth time in a day. I’m feeling it all.

Of course, me being me, I looked up the spiritual meaning of Norovirus + it was so poignant:

• Rapid release + purging — The body fully letting go of something it cannot process or hold onto anymore… releasing stress, overwhelm, emotional buildup, resentment, fear, or overstimulation.

• Loss of control + surrender — Norovirus often comes on suddenly + completely disrupts plans, forcing you to stop, slow down, + surrender to the wave of illness. It will pass soon, but first you must ride the intense wave.

• Clearing out what doesn’t nourish — Ask yourself, “What am I consuming that isn’t good for me (emotionally, socially, digitally, energetically, or physically)?”

• Need for restoration + boundaries —Sometimes illnesses can reflect a nervous system that has been running hard for too long, bringing attention to exhaustion, over-giving, or lack of replenishment.

• Family + system reset — When everyone in the family gets sick, it’s a forced pause. The clearing of schedules, expectations, busyness, + noise can bring more clarity into what really matters.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, + yes. I can relate to all of them. Is it also true that there is stomach bug that is going around town? Yes. But I can’t help but think about the spiritual reason for all of the purging, releasing, + hopefully soon to be cleansing that our bodies have gone through so far this year. Our family is approaching a threshold.

I have a theory around thresholds — things start to break. I noticed this right before both Noah + Gabriel’s birth, as well as right before our move from Santa Monica, + even right before our move from Haleiwa… + I’m noticing it now. Physically, things break around the home. Emotionally, I have such low tolerance for anything that doesn’t resonate…. and my yearnings + longings are so much louder. Practically, routines that once worked don’t anymore, communication becomes more important than ever, + slowing down is necessary so I can actually hear myself. I believe that if you don’t intentionally slow down, a forced slow down may happen.

Interestingly, right before I gave birth to Noah + Gabriel… I had forced slow downs. With Noah, I got extremely bad food poisoning at 36 weeks pregnant. With Gabriel, I strained my right hip + could barely walk for a couple days at 39 weeks pregnant. This slow down is happening a bit earlier this time at 33 weeks pregnant (+ I pray that this is the last of it 🤞).

I know all of this is bringing up what we need to release that does not want to enter into this next chapter with us… so that we can call in everything we do need moving forward + make space for the new to emerge.

One. day. at. a. time.

ALSO — I cannot express my gratitude enough for Isaac for being such a source of strength for our family + taking such good care of Gabriel, Noah, + I while we have all been so, so sick (+ he was also sick!!!). I love you so much. You’re my hero 🥹💛

In this MOTHER / GATHER, I’m sharing:

• How I’m releasing before baby arrives

• What’s nourishing me right now — music, recipes, books, prayers, poems on my heart

• More thoughts on my mind about letting go, surrendering fear, + this ~in between~ season

• A quick little video update 🫶

The rest of this post is for paid subscribers to Becoming A Mother. If you’d like to join us, subscribe here! I’m so happy you’re here!

(Also, I just realized that I celebrated 50 posts on Substack!!!!! Yes, 50! This is number 51! There’s so much writing to dive into 🤩)

Let’s get into it…

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My second trimester pregnancy vlog is here!!!!!

ICYM:

• I’m pregnant! VLOG

• First trimester pregnancy VLOG

Where do I begin?! Second trimester was a WHIRLWIND… a series of wild events that had nothing to do with pregnancy. But I kept reminding myself that this baby knew exactly what they were getting into + that they were good with it! I have a feeling this baby will be very flexible… I hope lol 🤞

In this video, I’m sharing:

• The whirlwind of second trimester (that had nothing to do with pregnancy)

• How second trimester felt this pregnancy (+ how it differed from my pregnancies with Noah + Gabriel)

• Why Isaac thinks we’re having a boy 👀

• Our housing journey (that’s finally COMPLETE… now at 31 weeks!)

• How I’m trusting the process + still feeling so good about birth (even though I haven’t found my birth team yet)

• My belly has fully popped! I want to show it off more 😍

• + more!

This video is available for all paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother (subscribe or upgrade here!). Would love for you to join in! 🫶

Watch it below (it will unlock once you subscribe!) 🌺

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We have answers to the news we have been waiting MONTHS for:

• WE DECIDED WHERE TO ROOT!

• WE FOUND A HOME!

It’s been such a journey + I feel so grateful to finally have answers to the question that’s been on our hearts for almost a year + a half at this point. Ever since the fires, we knew it was time to close our Santa Monica chapter. Then began the home search… thinking that we were going to move to Ojai (Read: We Thought We Were Moving To Ojai).

For those of you who have been following our journey, you know what came next: We ended up going on a sabbatical in Hawaii, found out I was pregnant with our third 11 days into the sabbatical, took a trip to Southern CA to tour so many different cities to see if any of them felt like the place to birth our baby, started thinking Hawaii might be the place + started our home search there… then the floods, then getting so so sick, then moving in with my parents in Florida… AND NOW, finally “settling” into a home at 31 weeks pregnant!!

In last week’s post I shared the blessing of moving as an adult, especially while pregnant (Read: If You’ve Been Feeling The Pull To Move… Say YES!). What I *didn’t* talk about was all the challenges that come with moving, especially, in our case, finding the right home. I’m so grateful to be DONE looking at Zillow multiple times a day… for AT LEAST a year. 🤣

This process has been such a rollercoaster, but ultimately, it led us to the perfect home + place for our family in this season of life. Everything still feels surreal, but most of all, it feels so right. 🥹💛

In this post, I’m going to share:

• How we knew California was still home

• What we decided to compromise on (+ what we didn’t compromise on) + why

• How we’re thinking about renting vs buying in this season of life

• The #1 thing we prioritized that ultimately decided where we chose to live

• What city we’re moving to!!

This post is for paid subscribers of Becoming A Mother — if you’d like to read on, you can upgrade your subscription here. Thank you, always, for your support! 🫶

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