“Last night, I had to pee in the middle of the night and saw a tarantula in the bathroom. Be careful going to the bathroom at night.”

Me: 😱😫

This was a friendly warning from a fellow retreat attendee at the ayahuasca retreat center I visited in Peru.

She’d been there a week and was giving me the low down on what she’d experienced.

Me, terrified of spiders, preceded to approach the shared bathrooms with complete trepidation and a thorough scan of all corners with my iPhone flashlight every time I had to use the restroom. Morning, noon, and night.

There’s nothing more disorienting than trying to use the bathroom, mid-plant ceremony, terrified that at any moment you’ll spot a tarantula.

At some point, I just had to let go and let God - which is really the tagline for my journey with ayahuasca: face the scary parts and surrender.

Face the dark corners, the unknown. Surrender to the process.

And to remember that my journey is individual and that I’m covered because many people spotted tarantulas and other creepy crawlies but by the grace of God, I did not 🙌🏾

How did we get here?!

A few months ago, I was doing my grounding practices in my happy place aka my rooftop terrace.

I was still very much in the thick of grief. I refer to this season as ‘being in the mud’ because I just felt stuck and confined. Surviving, not thriving.

I was up early doing my practices to get my vibration up.

Gratitude 🙏🏾 Oracle cards 🔮 TBM Deep Imagining.

During meditation, I felt a feminine presence (Grandmother Ayahuasca) telling me I was ready to sit with the medicine.

I’ve known for a few years that I’d try ayahuasca at some point, but I’d been counseled that you should wait until you feel like it’s calling you.

Well, now it was calling me and I felt ready. It was time.

Backup, what’s ayahuasca? Ayahuasca is a sacred plant medicine brew (almost like a tea but thicker in consistency) that has a long history of ritual and ceremonial use among indigenous groups in South America. It is made from the stem of the ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi, or in Quechua, “the vine of the soul”) and the leaves of either the chacruna (Psychotria viridis) or chagropanga (Diplopterys cabrerana).

But ayahuasca is more than something you drink. In the traditions where it comes from, it has often been used in collective ceremony as a tool for healing, reflection, spiritual connection, and insight.

It was placed in my heart (my intuition speaks as a deep inner knowing) that I find a woman-owned retreat center or facilitator, ideally in the jungle of Peru where it’s grown, who learned it through her ancestral lineage. I also felt a sense of urgency to make the journey in this calendar year. Or maybe it was just desperation to get out of the mud.

Either way, I researched, I planned, I pulled the trigger 😜

I decided to do it in August during my offseason because I’d have ample time to integrate before going back to work.

Once I’d confirmed where I wanted to do the ceremonies, the next piece was preparing for the dieta.

Dieta? The dieta is a special diet that’s highly recommended before sitting with ayahuasca. Each shaman (often called a curandero, onanya, or maestro) will provide instructions but ours requested that we abstain from the following at least one week, if not two weeks before:

x Dairy

x Pork

x Spicy food

x Fermented foods

x Excessive fatty and oily foods; no frying or cooking with oil. Coconut oil if you must. Steaming or baking your food was recommended.

x Excessive sugar

x Excessive salt

x Drugs, alcohol, caffeine; many recommend no sex

Plus, it was recommended that we limit foods that contain high levels of fat like avocados, peanuts, and fish.

Why the dieta? One is safety: certain foods (for ex, aged cheese - which I know is random) contain certain elements that make taking ayahuasca more risky.

But really: the cleaner your body is when you arrive, the more easily the plants can work with you. It’s a way of purifying your body before a sacred ceremony. Also, a big part of the preparation is demonstrating to yourself and ayahuasca your commitment to your healing path.

While at the retreat center, we maintain the dieta and for a few days or a week after you leave, you must limit certain foods. For ex, for four days following the retreat, I couldn’t have cold foods or drinks.

In full try-hard mode, I started the dieta two weeks out and mannnnnn. It was actually more challenging than I’d anticipated.

I love food. I soothe with food (I know it’s not recommended but alas) and it really punctuates my day.

I spent the first week of my dieta in my hometown and trying to avoid oil, spices, diary, or meat in St. Louis felt like dodging rain drops. 98% of menus are meat heavy and the veggies are fried or covered in cheese.

Send help! 😫🫠

But that’s the beauty of ayahuasca - it allows you to fully meet yourself. The parts you don’t often look at or can’t access. Where you’re lacking discipline. Where you’re nice or harsh with yourself. It’s all on display.

As a Projector, we can struggle to see ourselves so this entire experience was a cosmic mirror.

A mirror to my dreams, shadows, and judgments. A mirror into my inner self. It pulled back the layers and created a space where I could truly observe. Observe my inner chatter, observe my thoughts and patterns.

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The Retreat Center

I embarked on this journey solo because honestly I prefer going to most retreats alone.

I hold space for others all the time and I wanted to be in my own energy. Also, plant medicine can open you up to feel the emotions of others and make you energetically sensitive. I just wanted to focus on my experience and not have to counsel, console, or process anyone else’s emotions or experience.

I flew into Lima, stayed two days, then took a small plane to Pucallpa, a city in the Amazon that serves as a gateway into the rainforest.

The retreat center was an hour away and driving through the town, it reminded me of my time in Guatemala. Dirt roads, simple living, friendly people.

Upon arrival at the retreat center, one of the lead facilitators gave me a tour of the grounds, explained the schedule and how everything worked, and made sure to answer all of my questions.

Afterwards I was shown to my room, which was private (ya girl does not do shared) but basic: double bed, desk, fan, and a mosquito net. No AC - which ended up being a high key issue when there was a three-day heat wave.

I showed my mom videos and she called it camping 😂 Here’s a video of my room:

Not all retreat centers are this rustic, and there are some (especially outside of the jungle) that are more lux but I was uninterested in anything that felt too commercial or touristy. I’m not knocking it - that just wasn’t the experience I was looking for but maybe next time.

You’ll find that the way of administering ayahuasca and the surrounding activities vary per retreat center and maestro. So it’s important to understand what type of vibe, lodging, approach, etc you’re looking for upfront because there is variation.

At my retreat center, ceremonies take place Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 9pm.

Saturday nights there’s cacao, a bonfire, and a drum circle - this was one of my favorite activities. On Sundays, there are San Pedro ceremonies and those are during the day.

Why are ayahuasca ceremonies at night? I was told because the energy is lower than during the day.

Preparation: On ceremony days, only breakfast and lunch are served and you must stop eating at 2pm. In the afternoons, we’d often have a plant bath or a plant sauna.

A plant bath is made by steeping different medicinal plants in water and then showering with it.

A plant sauna is similar but you sit on a stool wrapped in blankets and the plant concoction is boiling hot and placed beneath you. It’s like a DIY sauna and I actually really enjoyed them because it felt detoxifying and I used the steam as a form of womb cleansing. (PS - I’d 10/10 recommend a womb cleansing after a heavy breakup)

From ~1 to 9pm you’re in what I called the long march. It’s the lead up to ceremony and I was always a little anxious about what to expect. I was doing a digital detox so I was not on my phone and just used the time to read and journal.

It felt like time crawled by.

That was another difficult part of this retreat. I went from being completely over stimulated the last several months to minimal stimulation. My nervous system was like 😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠

The Ceremonies

The ceremonies are held in a maloca, a sacred physical and energetic space for ayahuasca. It’s somewhat similar in appearance to a yoga shala.

Our maestra recommended we wear white or light colors because black or dark colors can trap in energies.

Each person had an assigned spot with their name on it, a bucket, and some toilet paper. See my set up below.

This is how my center did it; others will have a different approach:

Around 9pm, the maestra enters. She’s the retreat owner and has ran the center for the last several years.

The maestra is around my age but has the energy of someone much older. She’s a businesswoman, mom of five, and grandmother! She has the most adorable one year old grandson named Augustito.

I learned that it’s not easy being a female business owner in this part of the country. Not many women have businesses and she has her share of haters. I’m so grateful for the space and community she was able to create.

The maestra attends ceremony with her daughter, a sweet 8 year old who’s so perceptive. She has her own spot and sleeps in the corner.

I cannot imagine growing up going to ayahuasca ceremonies! She’s going to be absolutely magical.

The maestra is also accompanied by her 94 year old dad who she learned the ways of plant medicine from (and he learned from his parents), plus her younger brother.

They are of the Shipibo lineage and follow its traditions.

Ceremony #1 - The Introduction

To start the ceremony, her brother first cleanses (smudges) the space and each person with copal or palo santo. Then he smudges the entire building outside 2x for protection and clearing.

Once he’s done the ceremony officially starts.

Each person approaches the maestros in the front of the room and receives their respective dose. At this place, men go first (as is their tradition), then women.

At this center, everyone starts with a very small dose for their first ceremony. It’s essentially a micro dose to make sure someone isn’t overly sensitive, would have a bad reaction etc.

This is not how it’s done everywhere (some go full send day 1) but I really appreciated the measured approach because I was able to understand what to expect before being fully in it.

When it’s my first turn, I nervously approached the front of the room wearing a white dress and kneeled in front of the maestros to take my first dose.

And let me tell you, the taste of ayahuasca is 🤢

The consistency is quite viscous. It’s slightly thinner than molasses or honey. It’s served in what looks like a slender shot glass and you have to use your finger to scoop it out at the end.

For WEEKS I’d burp and be reminded of the taste and smell 🤮🤮🤮🤮

After everyone receives their dose, the lights are cut off and we wait.

Imagine 15-20 people sitting in darkness and relative silence for at least thirty minutes. The maestros might make noises but that’s it. You’re just with your thoughts and the jungle sounds.

It feels like getting on a ride at Six Flags right before it starts. The anticipation is high. You don’t know what’s going to happen but you know you better strap tf in.

After ~30 mins, the maestros begin the icaros, which are traditional healing songs. They work to activate the medicine, move different energies, and have their own healing properties.

The maestros take ayahuasca too because it helps them tap into spirit and what each person needs. During ceremony, they sing icaros for the group, plus each person gets an individual song specific for them based on what the maestra thinks they need.

Without fail, my icaros made me cry. They felt cathartic - like something deep and ancestral was being released. Others had a different experience.

After ingesting the medicine on the first night, I could feel it traveling down my throat and through my belly. It felt like it was snaking through my insides, taking stock of what was there. Slow, measured.

My experience the first night was mild. Other than feeling exhausted - which was my semi-permanent state at that point - nothing major happened. TBH, I kinda felt let down but I knew it was just the beginning.

Ceremony #2 - The Upgrade + Feel to Heal

After each ceremony, there’s a rest day.

During my next ceremony I was served a large dose of ayahuasca and went from feeling fine to practically immobilized lol.

I just laid there while the medicine did a complete cellular upgrade of my system. It’s a little hard to describe but there was a kaleidoscope of patterns going throughout my body and it felt like I was being cleaned, or modified in some way.

Sort of felt like a software upgrade of my entire system that I was strangely awake for.

At one point “it” was like “permission to change your face.”

Me: Yolo! Do what you need to do. At this point I was in full surrender.

Funny enough, a few of my more woo woo friends have said my face and aura have changed even beyond my new haircut.

Indeed my vibration has changed.

If I could sum up that first full ceremony, it was FEEL to HEAL.

I crashed into that retreat feeling like an ice cube, a glacier of suppressed emotion, and aya was the ice pick.

It started carving me out of the ice by giving me space to feel.

To feel everything from this past year and beyond. To process emotions from my ancestral line. From everywhere.

I was a crying mess. But crying is a form of purging and release.

In fact, I learned that purging = vomiting, crying, and bowel movements. Most people just think of vomiting. TMI (but everyone has asked so I might as well share) but I’ve learned the last two are my body’s preferred methods and it was a miracle I didn’t sh*@ myself 😂😂

Ayahuasca, like many psychoactives, creates a sensation of peaks and valleys. Sometimes it feels pretty intense, and then there’s a lull, then the surge happens again, rinse and repeat.

When it felt intense, I just remembered to come back to my breathing. I even created my own special way of breathing that really settles my nervous system, I call it “nourishing breath”.

I landed on an intention that stayed with me during the ceremonies and for several weeks thereafter: ALLOW.

Allow this to happen. Allow the experience to evolve and inform.

Allow yourself to really feel.

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Ceremony #3 - The Release

After being in my feels, the medicine was like ‘let’s release what doesn’t serve’ and OMG.

First off, I received a massive dose so I knew we were in for a wild ride.

Everything came up literally and figuratively - relationship stuff with my ex, things from my childhood, ancestral trauma and more.

I lived through the full experience of the Atlantic Slave Trade. I experienced being captured in Africa, being scared on a crowded ship to a new land with water around my ankles, working on a plantation in a strange land, being whipped, running away at night. ALL OF IT. It was a lot.

I realized so much of what my body was carrying wasn’t even mine. It was from years or even lives past.

I told the spirit of my paternal grandmother who’s passed away she wasn’t grandmotherly enough in terms of showing love and affection, and we ended up having a healing conversation around it.

I released pent up anger, disgust, grief, and sadness toward my ex.

During my icaro, while the maestra was singing, I energetically pulled trauma out of my body and flung it away.

I tend to carry a lot of tension in my body and I can tell my stress levels by how ‘challenging’ my massages are - for ex, the first massage after leaving my ex was the WORST massage on record. I had knots and tension everywhere; the masseuse thought it was my first massage of life.

I’ve had probably a hundred if not more but the body keeps the score.

Conversely, my first massage post ayahuasca was the best massage on record in terms of not feeling as much tension in my body.

The release was at the somatic and physical level!

Ceremony #4 - The Blessing

The last ceremony was special. I had a slightly smaller dose and it felt like a beautiful closing to a sacred experience.

My spirit guides came and each of them bestowed a special blessing on me. They also told me I got upgraded and so did they.

We reviewed some of the things I’d learned in the last week.

I got a vision of a past life where I was an African Queen. A ruler.

It was truly beautiful.

When I first showed up to the retreat the maestra said my life force was low. And it was. By the last ceremony I felt out of the mud. I’d been freed from the ice. I could exhale. I was feeling like Jacques again. Out of the funk.

The day after leaving the retreat center I had a FT with the maestra and she could immediately tell my energy was back!

The medicine works for up to six months and I’m still processing.

Even outside of the ceremonies you can feel the medicine working - downloads, wild dreams, and feeling deeply connected to the elements.

I want to share what I learned and what changed but this is already incredibly long so stay tuned for pt 2! (My Projector battery gave out and I absolutely cannot write anymore haha)

If you have any questions or want to share your experience, please comment below!

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on TikTok, Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

2027 Luxury Wellness Retreat

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Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a corner of the internet dedicated to becoming, reinvention, and transformation. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Lately, among clients, strangers, friends, family, and even various business owners at two different conferences - I’ve been hearing the same quiet truth:

My life doesn’t look like what I thought it would at this age. This truth, often said in almost a whisper, most commonly sounds like:

I’m single and I thought I’d be married by now 🙋🏾‍♀️

I thought I’d have kids by now

I thought I’d be making A LOT MORE money

I thought I’d be further along in my career, more successful

I thought I’d have more clarity about my career

The highly calculated plans formulated by our younger selves have been thrown out the window.

Man plans, God laughs.

But why is this feeling so pervasive now? Am I finally at the age where we’re all experiencing mid-life crises? Is this a long-term effect of social media or social change?

I have so many hypotheses lol.

For many of us, the universe is refining and pruning the areas of dysfunction, ego attachment, and deeply rooted conditioning that we’ve been consciously or subconsciously holding.

Here’s what I’m observing:

The parts of our lives that run on ego or dysfunction (especially if it’s a dysfunction that feels familiar) are being exposed.

Societal and cultural conditioning picked up in childhood is coming to light.

Jobs or identities that require self-abandonment are becoming harder to tolerate or are simply being stripped away. Managers whose tendencies you could once ignore feel like a pebble in your shoe.

Certain friendships and relationships no longer feel nourishing.

So many are feeling trapped by jobs, high cost of living, being the breadwinner, and relationships they’ve outgrown but don’t know how to leave.

Our personal definitions of “success” and “worthiness” are being altered bc #life.

The universe is shining a light on what we’re most attached to - whether it’s career, body image, wealth, family status, partnership, etc. - and pressing on that wound to reveal where the triggers, fear, and unhealed parts still live.

As a result, the number of quiet truths we must admit are piling up.

Michael Beckwith said that spiritual growth is often letting go or releasing something, not the acquisition of more things. Sure, material abundance can be a consequence of spiritual growth, but the real byproduct of growth is often releasing something (a belief, attachment, mindset and so forth).

Even if it hurts and feels deeply disruptive, the mindsets, jobs, relationships, etc. that are being stripped away or challenged cannot live in the next level.

Repeat after me: what got you here, won’t keep you here.

Adding fuel to the flame is social media: unlike generations before us, we can see tons of people out there in the world with the job, family, money, etc that we want! So we carry this quiet belief of, “Man, I thought I’d have…” while being inundated with examples of people who seem just like us already living the life we want.

No wonder so many of us feel “behind.”

But isn’t ‘feeling behind’ a construct? Obvi. The people in this community love introspection so I think we’d mostly agree that life is unfolding in its own divine timing and feeling behind is just our egos sounding the false alarm.

And yet…

Knowing that doesn’t always calm the nerves at 3am!

So what to do? Here are my recommendations below; however, if I’m missing anything hit reply or leave a comment so we can all engage.

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1. Acknowledge the feeling.

Shame breeds in silence so give the feeling space to talk.

Sometimes we’re reluctant to admit that we feel ‘behind’ because behind doesn’t really exist and we’re so grateful for what we do have.

But two things can be true.

So rather than shoving down the feeling every time it comes up and acting like it doesn’t exist, acknowledge it.

If this resonates, you can try right now by completing this sentence:

I thought I’d be ________ by now.

Let it rip. You can write it down (recommended) or just speak it out loud. Whatever feels most natural.

Notice whether the sensation lives somewhere in the body like the tummy or heart space. This could be a transformative, healing area to explore with a trained specialist like an EMDR therapist or somatic guide.

2. Examine your desire(s).

Once you’ve named where you feel behind (for ex: having a certain level of wealth), genuinely look inward and determine whether this is an authentic desire or conditioned need.

An authentic desire is something your soul truly wants to experience. It feels aligned with your highest self; a dream of your heart.

A conditioned need can feel almost identical but it originates in the mind, not the body. It typically arrives cloaked in the language of obligation: should, have to, supposed to, need to. It’s the voice of who you were taught to be, not the essence of who you are. The real need is usually underneath it, quieter, and phrased differently.

In the area where you feel behind, or any area of great interest and pursuit, consider:

Is this something you truly want? (authentic desire)

Or is it a belief that was adopted, inherited, or simply the default in your lived experience? (conditioned need)

Another way to investigate is to ask: where does the desire come from?

Two personal examples to illustrate: Growing up as an only child, I always dreamed of having a life partner. Having a partner is in alignment with my Barstools (core values), and I’ve always known it was important. Line 6 energy often carries a longing for a soulmate connection, and that’s definitely true for me.

After my relationship woes of last year, I revisited this area of life with honesty and can still confirm that having a partner is an authentic desire.

My POV re: kids? A different story.

For a long time I thought I wanted kids. In my teens, my early twenties, it felt like a given - not a question I’d asked, just a fact about my future.

But when I finally looked at the why underneath it, there wasn’t much there. The whole reasoning was: you grow up, you get married, you have kids, the end.

It was a script, not a desire. A sentence someone else had finished for me before I ever got to the question.

After much reflection, I realized I didn’t have an independent desire to have children - it was an inherited belief (a conditioned need) that I’d absorbed from society and my mom (who I’m very close to and always wanted to be a mom).

That’s the tricky part about a conditioned need - it can wear the exact costume of a real one for years.

The “should” in “I should have kids” was so quiet and so early that it didn’t even sound like a should. It sounded like me.

Where it can get fuzzy: there are times when a desire starts out as a conditioned need but ultimately turns into an authentic desire because you do the work to get clear on why YOU actually want something versus defaulting into the idea.

If you do this exercise and determine what you want is truly an authentic desire, proceed to #3.

If you determine your desire is in fact a conditioned need, don’t stop at the realization.

The real work is getting to the root: where did this actually come from? Whose voice is it? How do you honestly feel about the thing itself?

Sometimes this is solo inner work - e.g., journaling, honest reflection, sitting with the question long enough to hear your own answer. Sometimes it’s work you do with a guide: a therapist, a coach, someone who can see the parts of the pattern you’re too close to.

Either way, the goal isn’t to arrive at the “right” answer. It’s to make sure the answer is actually yours.

3. If possible, release your attachment to timing.

This is by far the hardest part. As a Recovering Impatient, when I want something I want it now. But…

WHO said you were supposed to be rich, married, etc, etc by now?

Outside of biological factors, who gave you a deadline?

If you’re living in the swirl of urgency, which can sound like “when is it my time!?” or “I’m running out of time!” I invite you to zoom out and release.

Zoom Out: as best as you can, look at your situation from 10,000 ft versus 10 ft. What is really happening and where did the time sensitivity come from? What are the real stakes?

Release: your attachment to WHEN the thing happens, especially if it’s out of your control because it could be tomorrow or it could be years.

Take it if it serves you: I recommend saying and incorporating this affirmation into your daily meditation:

I release attachment to when my blessing comes and how it arrives. I will continue doing my very best until it arrives.

(feel free to replace the words ‘my blessing’ with something specific)

I recommend this affirmation because it allows you to sit in surrender while acknowledging the in-between. The unknowingness. The discomfort. The continued effort in service of a different outcome.

Why? Because the thing we realllllly want usually shows up right after we surrender 👀

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4. Celebrate what got to happen instead and write the alternative narrative.

Maybe the job you’ve outgrown has funded your family’s lifestyle.

Maybe you haven’t met the right partner but you’ve cultivated an awesome community of friends and traveled the world.

The list goes on and on.

Ask yourself, what else could be true? If you reviewed your ups and downs from the world-building level, what else could be at play?

How is everything actually working in your favor?

Here’s one of my alternative narratives: I went through deep heartbreak to…

Learn how to truly choose myself, to remember how to breathe alone, to upgrade my discernment, to grow my faith and know without a shred of doubt that my success is because of God, to dismantle a life that had secretly grown stale, to rebuild a life with my full powers, at this big age, and at this level of consciousness, to become truly fearless because if I can leave my best friend, I can pivot away from anyone or anything that does not serve me and I have the receipts.

There’s always a silver lining. An alternative story that’s bigger than the wound or the desire.

Ultimately, your soul chose the life curriculum you’re experiencing: your parents, your body, your set of heartbreaks and tribulations. Why?

This lifetime I wanted to experience what it meant to be the most liberated woman in my bloodline.

To experience the full arc of heartbreak and learn to choose myself so f***** hard that I can now help others do the same.

What’s your alternative narrative? Leave it in the comments and share this with a friend.

And once you’re done, consider how can you claim your identity as someone who is simply becoming?

Here’s to our rising 🐦‍🔥

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

2027 Luxury Wellness Retreat

Book a Human Design Reading

Schedule Discovery Call for 1:1 Coaching

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a corner of the internet dedicated to becoming, reinvention, and transformation. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

After a much deserved break, I’m backkkk 😜

Catch up quick, or as the kids say, “okay, so boom” — in the last newsletter I wrote about my self-declared offseason. My core thesis was that corporate professionals should treat themselves like professional athletes and intentionally prioritize recovery.

Corporate America teaches us to stress our mind muscles - pedestalizing our ability to perform, make money, be efficient, etc. - but it does a poor job of giving us corresponding tools to recover and tend to ourselves.

To combat this conditioning I decided to do the scary but necessary-for-my-overall-sanity thing: I declared the entire month of August as my offseason. Dedicated time where I could unplug and actually recharge (because PTO doesn’t always = restoration; clock the difference).

Why now? Because the last 12 months might’ve been the hardest on record. Like…ever in life. #CheckOnYourVirgoFriends

Massive personal upheaval and changes, issues with my homebase, supporting my parents - all while growing a business and traveling nonstop.

As a guide and healer (I’m starting to embrace that term, slowly, although it feels scary and almost too big), I believe I must put my mask on first to do my best work. In order to hold space, to care, nurture, and attend to others, I must first tend to self.

I don’t need to be perfect, but I do need to practice what I preach.

And ya girl needed a BREAK.

So I took an entire month off and it was the best decision I’ve made all year. I have my energy back. I’m feeling rested, rejuvenated, and most importantly: inspired.

How I spent the time: during the first two weeks, I traveled through Peru.

You didn’t stay home and rot? Nah - when my batteries have run completely out of charge, I have to travel to someone’s foreign country to right my spirits.

There’s something about being on a foreign land and experiencing a new type of cuisine that serves as a fast iPhone charger for my energy 😆🤣

Suddenly, my troubles have lifted and my oomph is back!

A normal person might’ve booked a nice beach vacation and read a bunch of books. Or used the time to finally do those outstanding house action items like hanging the beautiful art you bought months ago but still haven’t framed.

But no.

Normal doesn’t live here so I guess my offseason will also be spicy?!

I kicked things off by traveling to the Peruvian jungle and participating in an 8-day ayahuasca retreat. Without a doubt, it was the most healing yet uncomfortable experience of my life. I have a lot of thoughts and my experience deserves its own post so I’ll write a follow up article soon to go deeper on this topic.

Why ayahuasca? Grandmother Ayahuasca had been calling me the last few years and I’ve always been curious about it. Earlier this year, she spoke to me during meditation so I knew it was coming. Plus, my offseason felt like an excellent time to try ayahuasca because I’d have at least four weeks to sit with the medicine + time for integration.

After my deep healing journey with plant medicine, I wanted beach and luxury. I wanted to experience feeling held in comfort, to see the ocean from my bed, to have daily walks on the beach, and enough space and solitude to come back down to Earth.

I’m a high/low girl through and through. I’ll wear my Jimmy Choos with a dress I found on sale for $30. And my extended vacations are similar:

The ayahuasca retreat center was very rustic - think no A/C, shared bathrooms, cold showers, and being on the lookout for tarantulas. All of that (minus the tarantulas) was fine but I knew a hot shower and some creature comforts would be calling my name after a week of roughing it 😌

Insert Máncora, Peru: I found this lovely, woman-owned boutique hotel called Hotel KiChic using ChatGPT.

10/10 would recommend: It was the perfect soft landing after ayahuasca. The hotel is right on the beach and there are just nine rooms. I sprang for the best suite in the house - the Casa KiChic - because YOLO. If we’re here, WE ARE HERE.

My beach house had a beautifully designed full kitchen & living room, a massive, comfortable bed, private plunge pool, and outdoor shower + sunken bathtub. There was also daily yoga and a healthy restaurant with friendly staff.

When I tell you I did not leave the hotel property for six days.

Other than long walks along the miles of beach, I didn’t go into the town. No souvenir shopping, no figuring out reservations.

I was in perfect semi-solitude: long stretches of quiet but I’m not completely isolated. I would have friendly, yet brief (no more than 5 minutes) conversations with the staff, and it was pure bliss.

As an energetic giver, it felt nourishing to not have to engage.

I slept in, read books, swam in the ocean, and journaled like a madwoman. It felt restorative spending so much time in my own energy. Complete unfettered free time to spend in my thoughts - a Projector’s paradise.

After two weeks in Peru I returned to Mexico City and used part of the time to do a new brand shoot (pics and new social media content coming soon) and the remaining time to simply exist at home.

Because sometimes the medicine is just sitting at home. Simple things like eating a good meal, getting back into your routines, and doing laundry. Dassit.

Going back to work: I did a gradual ramp up because going from 0 to 20 calls felt destabilizing. I gave myself a few days to gently slide back into the saddle, ramping up work with each passing day.

All in all, I’d rate my first offseason as wildly successful. Going into August, I felt like I had nothing left to give but now my spirit feels renewed. Even Maestra Lucila (who facilitated the ayahuasca ceremonies) commented how low my energy was when I first arrived in Peru.

The lesson: it’s okay to embody the slingshot. To temporarily take a ‘step back’ to take many steps forward. To put your mask on first so you can better serve others.

Having dedicated time to down-regulate, slow down, and focus inward was the most important thing I could do for my personal livelihood and business because now I can attack life and work with more vigor, energy, and motivation.

Finally, I feel rested and I’m ready to take everything to the next level. My content is about to get better. My writing, my coaching programs, how I show up for clients, all better.

Because I took a step away.

…and tbh I think periodically taking a step away is the only way my life, which consistently gives ‘all gas, no brakes’ can be sustainable 😅

Henceforth (I love using archaic terms in casual conversation), I shall be taking an annual offseason in August or sometime in the summer when my clients are also on vacation.

It will be calendared and communicated.

When is yours?

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Toolkit ⚒️

Now that you’ve read my Ted Talk about offseason; I encourage you to consider where embodying the slingshot (taking a few steps back to take a giant leap forward) might be helpful in your life.

Where in your life can you temporarily let go of the reins? Where are you forcing but life is asking you to let go?

Here’s how this is showing up for my clients this week:

One client is an attorney and another is an entrepreneur and both have recently enrolled in graduate programs in fields of study more aligned with the work they want to do - despite spending YEARS in different industries. Both of them had to fight against the urge to ‘not start over’ or the perception that they were taking a step back by returning to school.

One client is taking a two-week sabbatical, including taking her first ever solo trip to recharge after a pretty hectic two years at work.

Another client hired a house manager to clean, buy groceries, and do laundry while she goes to the gym! By taking a small step back from housework that previously took hours, she can get back in shape, feel good in her body, and reclaim some of her time.

Your circumstances will differ, but I encourage you to take this as an invitation to determine:

Where, if at all, can taking a ‘perceived step back’ actually represents a massive leap forward? Where is a small no, actually a big YES?

Please share in the comments in case it’s expansive for someone else! 🐦‍🔥

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

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Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

LeBron, Lionel Messi, Serena Williams. All GOATs.

But do you know what they also have in common? They all have an offseason.

Time to recuperate. To downshift. Time to give their bodies and minds a rest from the relentless pursuit of excellence.

Good ol’ Merriam Webster defines offseason as “a time of suspended or reduced activity.”

Note that the keywords are ‘suspended’ and ‘reduced’ because sometimes an offseason looks like a temporary stop of all activity, whereas other times it’s more of a reduced schedule.

Now, consider yourself: do you have a designated offseason? Time when you can truly recover?

For many of us, that answer is a big fat NO.

Whether it’s because of a job, personal obligations, or even finances, many of us work work work with no real end in sight. And I’m not talking about taking a ‘long weekend’ off or even a weeklong vacation with family, I’m talking about true time off.

To unwind, recover, and most importantly, recharge.

Because here’s the real gotcha of all time: research has shown that the demands on a modern day corporate professional are often greater than the demands put on a professional athlete. Sooo why don’t we have real built-in recovery periods like athletes?! (real questions that need answers!)

Going back to LeBron, after each basketball season, he reportedly takes active rest: 4 to 6 weeks off from intense on-court basketball to let minor bruises and strains heal. In addition, he incorporates low impact exercises and mobility work for recovery.

Conversely, most professionals in America (because this is where I think the Europeans get it right) are expected to work 8-10+ hour days with no real extended leave outside of a medical leave.

Granted, we can carve out those who work at companies who have real breaks built into the work schedule and people who take extended leave to visit family overseas -but this is still the minority of workers.

The comparison of professionals to athletes has been researched and discussed thoroughly by performance experts Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz.

Their core premise: corporate professionals should treat themselves as corporate athletes.

And as a former athlete (but it’s giving current athlete if you ask the people in my gym lol 😆💪🏾), this framework deeply resonates. So I did what any Projector would do - I went deep down the rabbit hole of understanding this concept.

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First, I read their books and research, experimented with this philosophy in my life, and then started sharing it with clients. Initially, in 1:1 sessions, then as a presentation workshop topic for corporate partners.

There’s a lot you can unpack but here’s the main philosophy:

• Managing energy, not time, is the key to sustained excellence and personal renewal for professionals.

• Energy must be both expended (stress) and recovered (rest).

  • Chronic stress without recovery leads to burnout « you find me here

  • Chronic rest without stress leads to atrophy

Think about strength training: you work out (stress) your muscles but you also have rest day(s).

The same philosophy should be applied to how we work.

We stress our minds and bodies while performing at work; therefore, we should build in dedicated time for recovery and rest.

High performers should train like athletes.

But many of us don’t.

Most of us weren’t taught this way of approaching work, and in a society that expects humans to perform like machines, how could we??

So let’s stop that cycle. And I’ll start because it’s time I practice what I preach.

Because truthfully, I’ve finally hit a wall.

After months of white-knuckling life and kinda getting away with it, the culmination of stress, fatigue, fear, change, and the sheer emotional weight of the last 12 months has officially caught up.

I’m COOKED 😮‍💨

Mentally, I’m exhausted. Physically and emotionally I’m fatigued to the point where no amount of a ‘good night’s sleep’ can cure it.

So what’s the plan? I’ve declared an offseason. I’m taking the entire month of August off. No calls, no clients, no caregiving, no demands.

I’m going to Peru for a few weeks and going to enjoy being in relative solitude. Beach time, jungle time - it’s going to be great.

My rallying cry to clients: I’m off. You off. We off 😆

When I first started coaching, I dreamed of creating a company where sabbatical time was automatically built into the work schedule - both for myself and those who support me.

Projectors are the new age CEOs so I’m taking up the mantle to lead differently. I am blessed to have control over my schedule so it’s time I leverage that.

One month might not be feasible but can you take two weeks off from work? Because it often takes at least one week for your nervous system to relax. To stop manically checking your phone.

And another week to feel incrementally free and calm. For your nervous system to finally reset.

So take the time! Studies and surveys consistently show that even employees with unlimited PTO often take less time off than those with set vacation days.

Last, but certainly not least, I recommend being intentional (or experimenting with different approaches if you don’t know) in how you recover. I learned years ago when I experienced rock bottom and absconded to Bali that I need: healing retreats, time at the beach, and 0% planning.

However, you might need an active vacation where you’re hiking everyday or extended time to make music or write. Whatever it is, make sure it’s fulfilling for you, personally.

If you’re reading this and coming up with 100 reasons why you cannot take an offseason, write them down and then honestly assess whether these are factual (because sometimes they are and we just can’t take time off right now) or fear-based.

Fear-based can sound like: What if…. they fire me, need me, I miss out on…

This is a gentle nudge to put your mask on first because it’s hard to lead, care for others, or properly adult on fumes. I’m there right now and it fucking sucks.

So take your offseason! Recharge and come back ready to fight the good fight.

Wishing you lightness and relaxation in August and I’ll see you in September! 😜🫶🏾✈️

Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Most Projectors love a good rabbit hole. Let something pique our interest, and suddenly we're embodying a Line 1 profile and investigating everything there is to know about a subject. Especially if it deals with understanding people and how the world works.

That’s one of the reasons Projectors often gravitate toward Human Design, psychology, coaching, etc - we love understanding how things work.

One of my recurring rabbit holes is exploring the different genres of astrology.

I thought astrology was just “my Sun sign is a Virgo” but I was wrong. There’s so much more to it than that. So far, I’ve explored:

The differences between Western and Vedic astrology

Astrocartography

Medical astrology

Now I’m learning more about mundane astrology.

Mundane what now?! Said in my mom’s Midwest-Southern accent lol. Update: she was discharged from the hospital this week and is recovering at home. Thank you to everyone who sent well wishes 🙏🏾

Mundane astrology is the branch of astrology that studies world events, countries, and collective history rather than the life of any individual person. Imagine you’re a weather forecaster. Your job isn’t to tell any one specific person what their day will look like - it’s to read the atmosphere and report on what’s coming for everyone. Is a storm moving in? Is this a season of drought?

Mundane astrology is exactly that but instead of forecasting weather, it’s forecasting world conditions.

The word “mundane” comes from the Latin mundus meaning “world.” Not mundane as in boring. Mundane as in of the world.

Mundane astrology zooms all the way out. Instead of one person’s chart, it reads the charts of countries, governments, cities, historical moments, and civilizations. Every country has a birth chart - usually the moment it officially came into existence.

For ex, the United States’ chart is set to July 4, 1776. France has a chart. Russia has a different one.

In comparison, the astrology most people are familiar with is personal. You give someone your birthday and birth time, they look at your chart, and they tell you about your personality, relationships, career, challenges. It’s intimate. It’s about you as an individual.

In mundane astrology, charts are studied the same way a personal chart is except the “person” is an entire nation.

Tools used in mundane astrology:

• Outer planet cycles (Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) are the primary method because they move slowly enough to correlate with generational and civilizational shifts rather than personal daily life.

• Ingress charts: the moment a planet enters a new sign are read as forecasts for the period ahead, often cast for capital cities.

• Eclipse cycles: mundane astrologers track which nations and world capitals fall under eclipse paths and what house of a nation’s chart gets activated.

• National charts because every country has a birth chart.

• Conjunctions between outer planets like Saturn-Pluto, Jupiter-Saturn, and Saturn-Neptune are treated as major chapter markers for collective history.

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Why I’m talking about this now: you might have seen posts on social media talking about the Barbault Basket, a special planet configuration that’s happening this month.

I’m by no means an expert, and I wouldn’t even say I’m at the intermediate level, but I find this topic fascinating and when you learn about it in concert with the other major shifts I’ve mentioned (catch up here), it appears that one thing is clear: we are living through a time of monumental change.

And not tepid, lukewarm change either. But massive collective shifts like emergence of the Renaissance, fall of the Roman Empire, type of change.

Something I've been asking myself lately: how can I be a steward for what's to come? And if you believe we chose to incarnate in this lifetime - that our soul selected this particular moment on earth - I invite you to sit with this in meditation: why did I choose to be here, now?

But back to mundane astrology.

The Barbault Basket

The reason the internet is so abuzz with this topic: because one of the GOATs in the field, André Barbault (1921–2019), a French mundane astrologer widely considered one of the most accurate predictive astrologers of the modern era, predicted that around July 17–20, 2026, the outer planets would arrange themselves into a rare, harmonious pattern he called the "Basket" - a configuration where Jupiter, Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune all sit at 4° of their respective signs and form a network of flowing, supportive aspects.

Barbault read this as the crescendo of a much larger cyclical shift out of collective crisis and into a new era of expansion, humanitarian progress, and civilizational renewal.

People are paying attention because Barbault famously predicted the fall of the Soviet Union and the COVID-19 pandemic years in advance.

How? He created something called the Cyclic Index, a simple mathematical tool that measures how spread out or clustered the slow-moving outer planets are at any given time.

When the planets bunch together, the number is low, and history shows those moments tend to line up with collective crisis. When the planets spread out across the sky, the number is high, and those moments tend to line up with relative stability and progress.

For ex, during COVID in 2020, the index dropped to around 380 - one of the lowest readings of the entire 21st century, and Barbault had flagged that challenging period nearly a decade in advance as a probable moment of global crisis. By contrast, the July 2026 Basket sits near the top of a steep climb out of that low, marking the (hopefully 🥴) collective exhale on the other side of the storm.

What Barbault Said It Meant

Barbault described the 2026 period as the crescendo of a civilizational turn. In his own words (as documented in secondary commentary from his 2014 book):

“The peculiarity of the turning point of 2026–2030 is represented by the centrality of the Saturn-Neptune conjunction at the beginning of Aries… We are faced with the possibility of a change such as to make the terms ‘change’ or ‘upheaval’ seem too weak to define the breadth of what could transform in the known world.”

Barbault described this alignment as “the most beautiful configuration of the 21st century” and projected it would bring “a splendid relaunch of civilization.”

He was not naive about the difficulty in getting there either. He suggested this period marks the end (or beginning of the end) of a long chaotic cycle, leading into a more constructive era.

He expected severe political challenges, major shifts in leadership, and a reality check around the time Uranus entered Gemini (April 2026), and he thought it would take a while to shake out.

He thought rebuilding would be difficult but possible. And that feels accurate af. And because everything feels so heavy, I’m taking this as a sign of better things to come in time.

For a deeper dive, I’m sharing this article from one of my favorite Substack astro-writers on this topic.

Questions or think I missed something that’s important to flag for the community? Leave it in the comments.

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How to Actually Use This

The practical use is simple:

Treat the Basket window (July 17–20, 2026) as a genuine opening, and plan accordingly. If you’ve been sitting on a launch, a pitch, a big ask, a public announcement, a career move, or a creative project you’ve been afraid to start - this is the window to move on it. The collective conditions are favorable, which means what you put into motion during this stretch has stronger tailwinds behind it than usual.

Book the meeting, send the proposal, publish the piece, make the offer.

More broadly, use this as permission to shift out of survival mode and into creation mode. If the last five or six years have been a sprint or very challenging, that wasn’t just you, the collective weather was genuinely heavy.

The energy now is turning into fire and air: expansive, communicative, forward-moving. Notice what feels like it’s finally becoming possible again, and lean into it rather than waiting for permission or certainty.

The tide is coming in and you don’t have to know exactly where it’s going to catch the wave.

Alternatively, if you have zero interest in astrology and felt like 🥴😵‍💫 the whole time you read this, use this as an invitation to explore your own rabbit hole.

Maybe it’s bass guitar (interestingly, at least 5 of my clients play guitar on the side). Maybe it’s poetry, numerology, or another ancient philosophy. Maybe it’s something you loved as a kid and haven’t touched in 20 years.

🤸🏾‍♂️ Whatever it is, carve out 10 minutes to just explore. Adults need exploring time too - especially right now, when everyone I talk to feels stretched thin.

Here’s to our rising.

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

The last few weeks have been a series of ups and downs. This season continues to feel crunchy with random calamities like a flood in my Mexico City apartment.

Even now, I’m writing this newsletter from St. Louis because my mom (who y’all know is my best friend) is admitted to the hospital for a promising yet intensive cancer treatment. Please keep her in your prayers - her name is Jackie and we appreciate all the well wishes and healing energy sent our way 🙏🏾🤎

On the positive side, my mom is responding to the treatment and in the last two weeks I’ve had three (!) clients launch or re-launch side hustles.

Energy is moving. Momentum, even if it's minuscule, is happening. So I'm leaning into that. The small, tiny bits of light and promise.

The ‘lows’ always dampen my creativity (it’s hard to access when I’m legit in survival) but I’m grasping these little moments of brightness to stay committed to my writing.

And these tiny moments are the inspiration for this week’s newsletter.

Whether it’s my 1:1 clients or even friends in my tribe, when someone is seriously considering a new business venture they somehow find me. A conversation that takes a turn, a business idea that’s been germinating for years. Sometimes I feel the idea before they mention it. But that’s a longer story for a different day.

In these conversations, I realized I've been recommending the same list of tools and services - the practical stuff you actually need to get a business off the ground and out into the world. So it felt like now was as good a time as any to externalize that list and share it with this community.

Am I promising ‘the go to checklist to make 7-figures’ (like the people shouting on social media)? No. If that’s what you’re looking for, you really hate to see it. 😂

What I’m offering is simpler and honestly more practical: a way to actually get in the game.

Because most of us have business ideas - that’s not the problem. The real problem is execution.

Can you get the idea out of your head and into the world? And beyond just doing the thing, how do you set yourself up so you can actually do it?

That’s where this list comes in.

It’s not exhaustive, but it’s a strong start so you’re not building from scratch. And everything listed is a service I personally use in my own business. If you use something different, hit reply or leave a comment so we can all share in the knowledge.

Why I’m sharing these resources now: as we hurtle toward 2027, the time is NOW to start building the lives and businesses we want. No more ideating and planning from the sidelines.

As Teddy Roosevelt famously said:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming…who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Let’s get in the arena! See the list below.

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Your Business Setup Checklist: 10 Practical Steps to Get in the Game

Is creating a business plan on this list? Surprisingly, no.

Business plans are useful, but we often get so caught up in planning that we never actually do anything. At the end of the day, a business plan is just that - a plan. It's not activity. It's not execution. It's not you in the arena.

You will see that this list focuses on the specific, practical, universally applicable steps that get you off the ground and actually operational. A quick heads up: Steps 1-2 are a bit US-specific, but the rest applies broadly.

One disclaimer before we dive in: This is not tax, legal, or financial advice. Please consult your own counsel. ⚖️

1. Form a business entity (like an LLC)

Maybe it’s the inner lawyer in me but the first thing I’d do is form a business entity.

Why? At least in the US, forming an entity separates your legal risk from your personal assets, allows you to open a business bank account and credit card, and may even lower your taxes. It also makes everything feel official - when you're contracting, you sign in your business's name rather than your personal name. Also, you won’t catch top talent or the rich contracting in their personal name, so clock it.

How? I like using LegalZoom (not sponsored). It's simple and easy to form a legal entity. The most common options:

• LLC (limited liability company): The most popular choice for small businesses. Offers liability protection with flexible taxation and minimal paperwork. Great for solopreneurs and small teams.

• C Corporation: Usually best for businesses planning to raise venture capital or issue stock. Comes with more structure and double taxation (the company is taxed, then dividends are taxed again).

• S Corporation: A tax election that lets profits pass through to owners’ personal income without corporate tax. Good for small businesses that want liability protection plus tax advantages, but with stricter eligibility rules.

The right entity depends on your specific business and personal situation, so I recommend consulting a lawyer or tax advisor if you’re unsure.

To form an entity, you’ll need a company name and a decision about which state to form in. Many people simply form in the state they live in (my first LLC was in New York because that’s where I lived). Others choose states with well-established corporate laws (like Delaware) or no state income tax (like Texas, Florida, Tennessee, or Nevada).

2. Get your employer identification number (EIN) or similar tax identification number

In the US, an EIN (Employer Identification Number) is essentially a Social Security number for your business, issued by the IRS.

Alternatively, in Mexico, the equivalent is the RFC (Registro Federal de Contribuyentes), issued by Mexico's tax authority, SAT. Most countries have some unique identification number for businesses.

Why do I need this? Because it lets you open a business bank account and credit card. Plus, if you're working with corporate clients, they'll ask you to complete a Form W-9 (basically an ID form for your business), where you'll provide either your personal SSN or your business EIN. (I know which one I'd rather hand over.)

If your business is in the US, you can get an EIN for free here directly from the IRS, or if you're forming your LLC through LegalZoom, you can bundle the entity formation and EIN together for an additional fee.

3. Open up a business bank account

Again, not legal advice so don’t come for me, but highlighting a critical rule: don't commingle personal and business funds.

One of the biggest advantages of operating through a legal entity is that it can shield you from certain personal risks. But if you're mixing your personal and business cash, those protections can fall away. A dedicated business bank account keeps everything separate, makes clean accounting possible, and is good standard business practice.

You can open up a business bank account with your existing bank or leverage online banks that cater to startups and small-businesses specifically.

My favorite: Mercury Bank. The account is free, the entire process can be done online, it takes maybe 10 minutes, and the process is simple. It’s used by top startups and small businesses. Dropping my referral link for a $250 cash bonus here.

4. Get a business credit card that makes sense for you

Don’t let Chase talk you into an Ink card because it’s easy.

Get a card that matches your lifestyle! If you’re a points girl (like me), get a card that earns points. If you like cash back or need interest free for 12+ months, open up this type of card instead.

My favorite: Delta Reserve Amex. I’m a loyal Delta (and Delta del Sur aka Aeromexico lol) flier so I love this card - you earn MQDs to reach Delta status faster, and it's the only Delta card that includes Delta Sky Club lounge access. Right now they have a bonus offer for 125K bonus miles.

I’d also recommend the Platinum Business Amex because they have a bonus offer of 150K+ points if you spend $20K in the first three months. Not right for all businesses but if you have a lot of expenses coming up, it could be perfect.

The big con: both cards have high annual fees. I max out the benefits so the fees net out, but I recognize that’s a non-starter for some. Choose what works for your situation.

5. Reserve your social handles

Even if you don’t plan on posting on social media, reserve your business name(s) on the top platforms so someone else isn’t sitting on it.

It’s expensive and time-consuming having to negotiate a social handle purchase. I’ve been there and don’t recommend.

6. Reserve your domain name, and if necessary, create a landing page

Similar to Step 5, reserve your domain name (your URL - like jacquesanderson.com) defensively, even if you don't plan to use it immediately.

Hot tip: Companies often reserve their name plus similar names for added protection. For clarity, it’s not necessary; however, I’m just sharing what I know. For example, I bought my actual domain (jacquesanderson.com), plus jaquesanderson.com and jacqueanderson.com because once you blow up the copycats will come out of the woodwork. #MoMoneyMoProblems

If you need a landing page (a one-page website) to explain your products or services, then invest the time to get one made. It adds credibility and is essentially your digital storefront.

AI tools like Claude Cowork and Lovable can create landing pages. Or you can hire a freelancer for an affordable price on sites like Upwork or Fiverr.

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7. Set up your office tools (e.g., email)

Once you have a domain name, the next thing is getting a business email. No more using personal emails for business matters.

The easiest is Google Workspace - you get your branded email plus access to Google Docs and Google Meet for video calls. With Google, you don't necessarily need Microsoft Office or a separate Zoom subscription.

Tip: if your clients use or expect a specific video tool (like Zoom or Teams), get that too. For example, Google Meet is blocked by many law firms, so I have a Zoom subscription too.

8. Add productivity tools that make you more efficient

The AI tools out right now are great for keeping you organized and saving time. Some of my favorites beyond Claude include:

Fathom AI - note-taker that records, transcribes, and summarizes calls. Now I can actually listen to people instead of feverishly scribbling notes.

Calendly - I hate the back-and-forth of scheduling. Calendly lets you drop a link so others can book time that works for them. You can also collect payment and schedule sessions (example here), which is clutch if you're a coach, therapist, etc.

Boomerang - Google plugin that tracks all your outstanding follow-ups directly from your inbox. Excellent email management.

9. Get business insurance

Don’t forget to protect your business! Having basic business insurance is a great practice especially if you’re dealing with people or products.

My favorite: ERGO Next. It’s easy to set up and affordable. That said, do your homework on the specific type of coverage your business actually needs.

10. Get your first customers (even if that means giving it away for free)

If you’re at Day 0 with no customers yet, give your product or service away for free.

Not to everyone, just one or two trusted early adopters.

Why? Because you need the reps. You need to understand what works and what doesn’t work. To work out the kinks. Also, giving it away allows you to iterate more quickly, speeding up your learning and refinement process.

You can also receive a testimonial or content in exchange.

My first several Human Design readings were free for friends - but I quizzed them throughout the process: what resonated, what made sense, what felt confusing. And if you pick the right people, they genuinely want to help.

This applies whether you’re brand new OR already in business and testing a new product, service, or pivot.

Obviously, if someone will pay for it, go for it.

But if you need a testing ground to refine the details, don’t be afraid to give something away in exchange for data and feedback, which are critical in the early stages of any venture.

Getting someone to say yes to a paid offer can slow down momentum, but people often give a quick yes to something that is free. So lean into that, gather your data, and the moment you feel good about it - tell them the price is going up. 😉

LMK if this was helpful! And share with a friend who could use a boost on simply getting started.

Good luck! 🐦‍🔥

Leave a comment

Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed, my diet is the first thing to go. And when I say ‘diet’ I mean my food and content diet.

Mild to moderate stress? I’m soothing with food. Eating more snacks, meat, and my mortal enemy - sugar. Looking for an escape, I’m on social media more frequently and my ability to read anything productive is fleeting.

Level 10 stressed af? You can’t pay me to find my appetite. There was a week last fall where I’m convinced I subsisted off popcorn and coffee. In this state, I can’t even engage with social media and instead I’m fully indulging in escapism via cheesy enemies-turned-lovers YA romantasies about supernaturals. 😂

Everyone is different in how it manifests, but our diets (both food and content) are often a reflection of our nervous system.

When the nervous system feels safe, we’re more likely to make thoughtful choices. We have the capacity to pause, reflect, and respond.

When the nervous system feels threatened, overwhelmed, or depleted, we’re often seeking comfort, stimulation, distraction, or control.

Your gut is deeply interconnected with your nervous system (bc science). A few facts that blew my mind when I first learned them:

• Your gut has its own nervous system - about 100 million neurons lining your digestive tract. Scientists literally call it your “second brain.”

• Roughly 90% of your body’s serotonin (your feel-good neurotransmitter) is produced in your gut, not your head.

• The vagus nerve runs like a direct phone line between your gut and your brain and the conversation goes both ways. This bidirectional "gut-brain axis" is exactly why emotional stress causes nervous stomach and why poor digestion can trigger anxiety or brain fog.

• When you’re in fight-or-flight, your body diverts energy away from digestion. Which is why you can eat a perfectly healthy meal while anxious and still feel terrible.

Don’t even get me started on the number of Generators and Manifesting Generators (gut instincts are their primary drivers), who are in misaligned jobs or relationships with gut health issues like leaky gut, IBS, etc.

So when I say your diet often reflects your nervous system, I mean it literally. And now that we’re aware of this information, we can leverage it.

How? By paying attention to what we're consuming when we're dysregulated, noticing the patterns, and getting curious instead of judgmental about our cravings.

We can use it to understand how to get back on track when we inevitably fall off the bandwagon, because we will. Which isn’t failure, it’s called being human. Plus most of us in this community are God’s strongest soldiers and signed up for the ‘Trials & Tribulations Earth Deluxe Package’ so…buckle up 😅

And this is where Human Design enters the chat: there’s an advanced concept in Human Design called Digestion, that in its own way, speaks to this connection between mind and gut.

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Human Design 301: Digestion

If Energy Type (Generator, Projector, etc.) is Human Design 101, then Digestion is 301.

Digestion is one of the most under-discussed concepts in Human Design, and IMO, is one of the most practical.

Digestion (also called Determination) describes how we take in and process the world around us - food, yes, but also information, stimulation, and experiences.

Human Design doesn’t necessarily say what we should consume, as most diets do, but it does suggest the conditions under which we should eat and take in information. It describes how your brain likes to be supported for optimal functioning.

Here’s how you can lean in:

1. Find Your Human Design Digestion

1. Pull up your Human Design chart. You can get your results in under 30 seconds here.

2. Digestion is the 9th attribute listed under your name.

For my fellow nerds, a bit of context: Digestion is connected to the top left arrow in your Human Design Chart (see picture below). That arrow is part of what’s called the Four Transformations (also called the Variables) - four arrows that describe how you’re designed to take in, process, and interact with the world at the deepest level of your design.

Think of the Four Transformations as the fine print of your Human Design - the advanced layer that explains how your body and brain are wired to optimally function.

2. Which Direction Does Your Top Left Arrow Point?

The direction the arrow is pointing matters and adds an additional layer to your unique design.

⬅️ Left-facing arrow (like in the picture below): Active Digestion

If your arrow points left, you thrive with a predictable, consistent schedule. Knowing what’s coming allows your brain to relax and actually focus on the work rather than managing the uncertainty of the day. Structure isn’t a prison for you - it’s freedom.

• With food: Your body thrives on structure, consistency, and focus when consuming. Think: regular mealtimes, intentional eating, one thing at a time, minimal chaos. You probably could eat the same meals on rotation and feel completely fine - comfortable, even. Hydration is really important.

• With information: You likely take in information in an organized, linear, and strategic way. You probably love systems, color-coding, files, and frameworks. You enjoy focused, deep-dive learning: one thing at a time, thoroughly, rather than sampling many things at once.

➡️ Right-facing arrow: Passive Digestion

If your arrow points right, you thrive with a flexible, spontaneous schedule. Your brain is wired for receptivity, fluidity, and peripheral awareness so rigid routines and pressure to follow strict systems may actually drain your energy rather than support it. Give yourself permission to go with the flow and trust you’ll get it done.

• With food: You don’t need a lot of structure around when and how you eat. Eat when you’re hungry. Drink when you’re thirsty. Go with the flow. Fasting may feel surprisingly natural for you because your body doesn’t require the same consistent input as a left-facing brain. You probably love variety - trying new foods, mixing things up, never wanting to eat the same thing twice.

  With information: You take in information broadly and receptively - often absorbing far more than is explicitly being shared. You’re picking up nuances, energy, undertones. A structured, linear approach to learning may feel unnatural or even stifling. You might learn better while walking, doodling, listening, or doing something with your hands. Interestingly, you might not be able to recall details on demand, but when someone asks you a question, the answer comes through naturally. You know more than you think you know - you just access it differently.

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3. Identify Your Digestion Type

There are 12 different types; think of these as the conditions under which your body and brain optimally take in nourishment.

Brief overviews are included below. Find yours and notice what resonates or what doesn’t.

Remember: these are experiments, not rigid rules. Try them on. Notice what shifts. And as always, take what resonates and leave the rest.

1. Consecutive - One Thing at a Time

You thrive when you eat one food at a time. Finish all the broccoli, then move to the mashed potatoes. This is 100% my mom who has this attribute!

Your system does best with simplicity and sequence - not because you’re a picky eater, but because your body genuinely processes things better one at a time. Same with information, you learn best going deep on one topic before moving to the next.

2. Alternating - Simplicity & Variety

You thrive on simple, whole ingredients but you like rotating between them rather than finishing one thing entirely. Your system appreciates variety within simplicity. Not a complex salad with 15 ingredients, but maybe rotating between a few clean, simple foods.

This is my Digestion type and it deeply resonates - I love a variety of foods but my digestive system prefers whole simple ingredients. Processed foods, tons of sugar, etc. take me down. In terms of content and information? I’m really bad at not finishing books and TV shows 🙈

3. Open - The Taste-Tester

The moment something hits your tongue, you know. You're intuitive and selective about what you consume. You will try almost anything and you discover your preferences by tasting them. Your system is designed for a sampling process: try it, feel it, decide. Give yourself full permission to try new foods freely and trust your instant body response as data.

You'll find a meal that works and happily eat it for weeks - until one day your body says "we're done here" and craves something new. That's not boring; that's your system telling you exactly what it can digest right now. Same with content: you'll go deep with one teacher, one podcast, one genre... until you've extracted what you needed.

4. Closed - Keep It Simple, Keep It Familiar

You often know before something hits your tongue whether it’s right for you. Don’t override this. If your body is giving a hard no before the fork even reaches your mouth, trust it. Forcing yourself to eat something you already know isn’t for you is working against your design.

Your system prefers simple, familiar foods. Heavily spiced, complex, twelve-ingredients-in-one-bite meals might be overwhelming. You likely digest best with simple, easy to recognize information too. Too many sources, too many hot takes, too much noise? Your system might shut down.

5. Hot - Nice & Warm

You thrive when consuming food above body temperature - cooked meals, soups, warm drinks, warming spices. Your system runs cool and warm foods activate and stimulate your digestion. Things like turmeric, ginger, and cinnamon may feel especially supportive. Experiment letting cold foods warm to room temperature before eating, and notice whether warm meals feel more satisfying and easier to digest.

The same goes for information: you absorb best when content feels warm - human, embodied, story-driven. Cold data and dry analysis may not land the same way.

6. Cold - Nice & Cool

You thrive when consuming food below body temperature - raw foods, salads, cool drinks, foods straight from the refrigerator. Your system runs warm and cooler foods help activate digestion. Experiment allowing hot foods cool down before eating. Salads, smoothies, raw fruits and veggies feel energizing to you, while heavy hot meals can feel like tew much. Your system likes things crisp.

The same goes for information: you absorb best when content feels cool and clear: crisp delivery, fresh ideas, straightforward analysis. Overly heated or emotionally intense content may feel like too much.

7. Calm - Peace & Calm

You digest best in peaceful, low-stimulation environments. Eating alone or in a quiet restaurant is genuinely supportive, not antisocial. Eating or learning in chaos - loud restaurants, working lunches, tense dinner conversations - can legit cause physical discomfort. Your nervous system needs peace and calm to receive nourishment, whether that's food or information.

8. Nervous - Digestion in Motion

You digest best while doing something. Movement, multitasking, stimulation - eating while walking, watching, working, or chatting actually helps your body assimilate. Forcing yourself to sit in silent stillness with your meal can feel agitating rather than grounding. The same goes for information - you absorb best when content is consumed in motion: podcasts on a walk, audiobooks while you clean, learning paired with movement. Sitting still and forcing focus may actually work against you.

Experiment with letting yourself eat or learn while moving. Notice whether you actually feel more satisfied and energized when there’s motion involved.

9. High Sound - Turn Up the Volume

Your digestion is stimulated by sound. Lively restaurants, background music, animated dinner conversation - auditory richness helps your body do its thing. The same is true for information: you absorb best with audio in the mix - podcasts, audiobooks, talking ideas out loud, learning in lively rooms. Silence may feel unnatural or even unsettling.

Experiment with creating a mealtime playlist and a deep-work playlist. Choose restaurants based on atmosphere. Notice whether the right sounds make both meals and ideas feel more nourishing.

10. Low Sound - Don’t Call Me with Background Noise

You're highly sensitive to acoustics, whether you're taking in food or information. You digest better with softer, quieter sounds - silent meals, library-quiet study, soft instrumental in the background at most. Loud restaurants, harsh background noise, or chaotic environments while eating or learning genuinely disrupt your flow. This isn't just a preference, it's your legit design.

Try experimenting with asking for the quietest table at restaurants. Try one meal in near-silence. Use noise-canceling headphones for deep work. Notice how your body (and your focus) feel when the sound environment is right versus wrong for you.

11. Direct Light - Daytime Warrior

You digest best when the sun is up, whether you're taking in food or information. Your body processes meals during daylight hours and in bright, naturally lit spaces, and your mind absorbs ideas best in those same hours. Heavy late-night meals tend to sit with you (literally), and late-night learning rarely sticks the way daytime study does.

Try experimenting with front-loading your eating: bigger breakfast or lunch, lighter dinner. Schedule your hardest thinking and deepest learning before sundown. Eat and work near a window or outside when possible. You're solar-powered. ☀️

12. Indirect Light - Night Owl

You actually digest better when the sun is down, and the same is true for how you absorb information. Your body processes food most efficiently at night, and your mind comes alive in lower light - you may genuinely get hungry after dark with a burst of mental energy to match. Lighter eating during the day with a more substantial evening meal + your deepest creative and learning hours happening after sunset may be exactly what your design calls for.

Try experimenting with dimming the lights at dinner (candles are great too). And if you've always been a night-owl who reads or creates best after 9pm, stop trying to force the 5am routine. Your magic hours are real.

What I love about Digestion is that it connects the deepest principles of Human Design to something as tangible and immediate as what and how you eat.

When your nervous system is regulated by the right food conditions, your thinking clears.

When you’re taking in information in the way your brain is wired to receive it, learning becomes easier and retention improves.

When you stop fighting your design and start working with it, even simple daily acts like eating a meal become an act of alignment rather than friction.

And in a season of transition, rebuilding, or simply trying to figure out who you’re becoming? Starting with how you nourish your body and mind is exactly the right place to begin.

Here’s to having a comeback season like the Knicks in Game 4 🐦‍🔥

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Once I decided to leave my partner (catch up here), I set out to redesign my life like never before.

But how? First, by acknowledging the MASSIVE white space I now had to grapple with. White space = the blank canvas that appears when the life you had disappears and the life you're building hasn't taken shape yet.

Everything was up in the air:

Where to live: do I stay in Mexico City?

How to dress: this is a big one and still feels very much in progress…

My routines: where to exercise, get my hair cut, buy produce - small things that add to my already overwhelming list of things to carry and decide

In truth, I felt both empowered (because I’d chosen myself) and in a Level 10 crisis. Because where do we go from here?!

My Virgo Projector mind was drowning in possibilities, probabilities, strategies, questions, and decisions.

I’ve come to believe this is universal: when God closes a door, we feel two things at once. The romance of what could be. And the terror of not knowing how, when, or where the window opens. And what tf we are supposed to do in the meantime?!

For example: I have a few clients who are navigating both divorce and major career transitions (ps: love and money are connected but that’s a longer topic for a different day). And while they’re all excited about what’s on the horizon, they often feel paralyzed by the sheer number of decisions and possibilities facing them.

Because same sis. Same.

What I’ve learned from my latest crucible (because I’m convinced personal transformation is part of my core soul curriculum this lifetime #PhoenixesUnite lmao) is that the best way to navigate white space, or any next chapter, is to start with the basics first and then escalate from there.

But how?

Here’s the quick and dirty: start with YOU first. It all starts and ends with you. So if everything feels upside down, start by assessing your inner life: how are you eating, sleeping, hydrating, moving your body, etc., and then slowly extend the circumference of your purview outward to your home, tribe, job, etc.

For my readers who love to go deep, there’s also a great framework you can use. Have you heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? It’s become one of the key frameworks I use with 1:1 and corporate clients to explore life transitions and triaging our needs.

Nah sis, catch me up: Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who, in a 1943 paper titled “A Theory of Human Motivation,” theorized that human decision-making is undergirded by a hierarchy of psychological needs. He proposed that there are five core categories of needs that form the basis for human motivation. They are:

Let’s break each category down starting from the bottom level:

Level 1 - Physiological Needs: These are our most basic human survival needs and include things like access to food and water, sufficient sleep, clothing and shelter, and overall health. This is the floor and these needs obvi take prominence before anything else: before relationships, before purpose, before personal growth. Think about the times in your life when you weren’t getting enough sleep, your environment was trash, or your health wasn’t doing so great - you probably felt like your life was in shambles. 😅 When in doubt or crisis, start here.

Level 2 - Safety: Once your basic survival needs are covered, your nervous system starts scanning for stability. This is the level of employment, financial security, and freedom from threat - physical or emotional. This is the layer that, when threatened, consumes enormous mental and emotional energy. And this is where a lot of us live during big life transitions. When this level is shaky, it's very hard to access the levels above it. Which is why, in a season of crisis, getting your security foundation stabilized first isn't selfish, it's absolutely necessary.

Level 3 - Love & Belonging: Once safety is established, humans reach for connection. Friendships, family, romantic partnership, community, your tribe; essentially the people who make you feel seen and held. In many ways, this explains why loneliness can feel physically painful. We are wired for each other and belonging is a core human need.

Level 4 - Esteem: With safety and belonging in place, we need to feel good about who we are. Recognition, respect, achievement, self-confidence - this is the level that explains why high-achievers can have the salary, the relationships, and the stability, and still feel hollow. If you don't feel genuinely seen, valued, or proud of what you're building, you're running a Level 4 deficit.

Level 5 - Self-Actualization: The top of the pyramid and the level most people are reaching for when they say “I want to find my purpose”. This is the level of purpose, personal growth, creativity, and living in full alignment with your gifts and highest potential. Maslow described it as becoming the most complete version of yourself. Not the most successful version. Not the most palatable version. The most true version. This is ultimately the destination of most of the coaching work I do and the power of the Human Design system because it's a map for self-actualization.

Maslow’s framework gives us a powerful triage tool: when everything feels out of control, start meeting your needs at the bottom of the pyramid and work your way up.

When a client can’t show up in their relationship (Level 3), I first investigate: are their safety needs (Level 2) being met? It’s hard to show up in community when you’re feeling financially insecure.

When someone is struggling to access their purpose and vision (Level 5), I confirm whether their basic needs like food, sleep, and living in the right environment (Level 1) are being met. Because it’s hard to live out your dreams on fast food and 3 hours of sleep. I’ve tried it and it’s shit.

It’s been so helpful, I’ve been using Maslow’s framework as a directional guide for recent newsletter content. Last month I shared an article re: environment because being in the right environment is where the conversation should start.

Now that you understand Maslow’s framework, let’s put it to work.

Below is a quick self-audit to help you identify where you’re thriving and where you need support.

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🛠️ Toolkit: The Needs Audit

Instructions: Read each question and rate yourself using one of three options:

✅ We good: This level feels solid and stable right now

👀 Could be better: This level needs some attention but isn’t in crisis

🆘 SOS: This level needs attention NOW; it’s affecting your wellbeing

Be honest. No one is grading this. The goal is awareness because you can’t work on what you won’t acknowledge.

Once you’ve rated each level:

If everything feels good: Genuinely celebrate that but stay awake lol, because our needs are constantly changing. What’s stable today can shift next week. This audit is a practice, not a one-time event.

If one or more levels were “Could be better” or SOS: start addressing your needs at the lowest level first by identifying ONE aligned action. Not a full overhaul, not a ten-step plan - just one simple, doable action to support your lowest-ranked level.

I’ve included suggestions below to get you started, but please make this your own. The best intervention is the one you’ll actually do.

Level 1: Physiological Needs

🤔 Is the house - literally and figuratively - okay?

Reflect: Am I in the right housing or neighborhood? Am I sleeping enough? Am I eating regularly and drinking water? Is my physical body being taken care of at the most basic level?

This isn’t about having a perfect sleep routine or eating perfectly clean. It’s about the foundation: are your basic physical needs being met consistently?

Rate yourself: ✅ We good | 👀 Could be better | 🆘 SOS

If you rated yourself could be better or SOS, an aligned next step could be (but make this your own):

🛠️ Environment Reset: Your physical space is either supporting your nervous system or taxing it. The American Psychological Association has found that cluttered, chaotic physical environments increase cortisol levels and amplify stress. When your home feels like another source of disorder, it compounds whatever else you’re carrying.

Start small: one drawer, one corner, one room. Declutter, rearrange, add a plant, change the lighting, hire a housekeeper. If a bigger reset is needed - a move, a renovation, a full redecorating - give yourself permission to prioritize it.

Level 2 — Safety & Security

🤔 Do I feel financially stable and physically secure?

Reflect: Do I have financial stability? Do I enjoy my job? Do I feel physically and emotionally safe in my environment and relationships? Is there a baseline of security in my life right now?

The American Psychological Association found that 72% of adults report feeling stressed about money at some point and research consistently shows that financial stress is directly linked to anxiety, depression, and reduced cognitive function. If this level is shaky, you’re not alone. I’ve been there.

Rate yourself: ✅ We good | 👀 Could be better | 🆘 SOS

If you rated yourself could be better or SOS, an aligned next step could be (but make this your own):

🛠️ Financial Clarity Audit: Financial stress is most corrosive when it lives in ambiguity: when you’re anxious but not fully clear on the actual numbers. So get clear. Pull up your accounts, map out what’s coming in, what’s going out, and what you owe. Calculate how many months of savings you have access to. Once you have the full picture in front of you, you can make decisions.

It’s hard to strategize from anxiety but you can strategize from information.

Level 3 — Love & Belonging

🤔 Do I feel genuinely connected to others?

Reflect: Do I have people in my life who truly see me? Do I feel like I belong somewhere: a community, a friend group, a relationship, a tribe? Am I giving and receiving care in ways that feel mutual and nourishing?

The U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis. Research shows that social isolation is associated with a 26% increased risk of premature death and that about 1 in 3 adults in the U.S. report feeling lonely. Wanting connection isn’t weakness, it’s human. And necessary.

Rate yourself: ✅ We good | 👀 Could be better | 🆘 SOS

If you rated yourself could be better or SOS, an aligned next step could be (but make this your own):

🛠️ Tribe Audit: Take stock of who’s actually in your life right now. Not who you wish was there, or who used to be there, but who is actually present and available now? Are there people you’ve been meaning to reconnect with but keep postponing? Are there community spaces (a class, a group, a recurring event) where you could start building new connections?

One practical tip: reach out to one person this week - not with a major ask, just a “I’ve been thinking about you” message. Belonging is often rebuilt one small act of connection at a time.

Level 4 — Esteem

🤔 Do I feel proud of who I am?

Reflect: Am I being recognized for my contributions: at work, in relationships, in my community? Do I feel confident in my abilities? Do I feel like the work I’m doing reflects who I am and what I’m capable of? And the harder question: does my internal sense of worth match my external accomplishments?

This is the level where the gap between who the world thinks you are and who you believe yourself to be can become quietly unbearable.

Rate yourself: ✅ We good | 👀 Could be better | 🆘 SOS

If you rated yourself could be better or SOS, an aligned next step could be (but make this your own):

🛠️ Wins Inventory: Confidence is cultivated by collecting evidence, so take 15 minutes and write down every professional and personal win from the last 12 months: big ones, small ones, wins in disguise. High achievers are often so focused on what’s next that they never absorb what they’ve already accomplished.

Your brain cannot build genuine self-confidence on a foundation of unacknowledged effort. The inventory is also a tangible tool for imposter syndrome: when the internal critic says “you don’t belong here,” you have receipts.

Level 5 — Self-Actualization

🤔 Am I living in alignment with my purpose?

Reflect: Do I feel like the life I’m living reflects who I actually am? Am I growing, creating, and contributing in ways that feel meaningful? Or does something feel fundamentally misaligned - like I’m performing a version of my life rather than actually living it?

This is the level most people are quietly aching for. It’s also the level that cannot be sustainably accessed when the levels below it are destabilized, which is why, during a major life transition, you may find yourself back at Level 1 or 2 before you can return here. That’s not regression, it’s simply the spiral of life.

Rate yourself: ✅ We good | 👀 Could be better | 🆘 SOS

If you rated yourself could be better or SOS, an aligned next step could be (but make this your own):

🛠️ Human Design as a Map: Your Human Design chart is, at its core, a map for self-actualization. It’s a framework for understanding how you’re specifically wired - your energy type, your decision-making authority, your environment, your gifts, etc. If you don’t know your Human Design, you can grab your free results here.

If you already know your Human Design, this is a good time to revisit it through the lens of this question: am I living in alignment with my design, or am I still operating from conditioning? That gap - between who you’re designed to be and who you’ve been performing - is exactly where the self-actualization work lives.

Here’s what I want you to take away from this exercise:

When life destabilizes, it often knocks us down a few levels and the work of rebuilding is simply working your way back up, one level at a time, with intention and self-compassion. The pyramid doesn’t judge the order. It just tells you where to start.

Start at the bottom. Build up. And give yourself grace for the levels that need work because needing work is not the same as failing.

Drop your audit results in the comments: Which level are you currently working on?

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. This is a special deep dive for paid subscribers. You can upgrade your subscription here. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Since I was a kid, I’ve always loved books. Reading was my escape.

Toni Morrison said in an interview that unhappy childhoods make good writers because they read. And for me, books were basically treasure.

Even now, I regularly daydream about taking a month off from work, getting a cabin in nature, and just reading.

This year I’ve bought at least 10 books and I’ve only cracked open one. But someone on TikTok said having a trove of unread books is like having different characters and worlds to keep you company. Sooo that’s how I sleep at night and give myself permission to buy more. 😂

For a while now I’ve wanted to figure out a way to share what I’m reading and learning with this community because some of these books can be transformative.

For ex: Life Visioning by Dr. Michael Beckwith.

Who? Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith is the founder of Agape International Spiritual Center, a transdenominational spiritual community in Los Angeles. He was in the movie The Secret, appeared on Oprah, and has spent decades teaching at the intersection of spirituality, meditation, and personal transformation.

He created the Life Visioning Process as a structured spiritual practice for applying deep inquiry and contemplation to enable the growth, development, and unfolding of your soul.

I referenced this book as a helpful resource in the last newsletter because it does an excellent job of (1) detailing the different levels of consciousness and (2) providing a tool to clarify your life’s mission.

As I’ve mentioned before, many in this community are ascending. Ascending levels of consciousness, breaking down negative beliefs, and understanding what’s rattling around in their subconscious.

Moving to a new level of consciousness can either cause, or happen in tandem with, a spiritual awakening, and Dr. Beckwith’s book does an excellent job of giving language to this phenomena.

He goes into great detail describing the evolving levels of consciousness, providing examples and tangible ways to determine where you are.

Where this book really shines - and I mean genuinely sets itself apart - are the questions and meditations for tapping into your life's mission. For at least a week, I started every morning with his life visioning meditation as a devotional practice.

And over time my own intuition revealed something special about my life mission. More on that in future newsletters 😜

His life visioning meditation allowed a new element of my soul mission to unfurl. Unfurl is the correct verb because it wasn’t immediate, and it took some time to land, but eventually I had a massive aha moment.

So I’ve been recommending this book to clients far and wide. In particular the audiobook because the real magic is the meditations, which you can’t listen to in print.

‼️ Girl, I’m busy is there is a cliff notes version? Indeed there is! Below I’ve written a deep dive for the paid subscriber community that distills the gems from this work so you can start working with this transformative material in real time.

Consider it a special thank you for supporting my writing. My way of paying it forward. 🫶🏾

My goal is to give you enough to understand the framework and apply it to your current season.

And if you like this type of content, please hit reply and let me know! I’m always happy to receive feedback on what is or is not landing.

Part One: The Four Stages of Consciousness

Beckwith teaches that all of us are moving through four stages of spiritual and conscious evolution. These stages aren’t linear; you can move between them, and you can be in different stages across different areas of your life simultaneously.

For ex: someone can be in Stage 3 in their spiritual practice and Stage 1 in their romantic relationships.

The stages are:

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Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

My last newsletter about the collective experiencing a sort of ‘liminal space’ hit a nerve. Email replies, friends and clients bringing it up in conversation, the topic organically coming up with complete strangers.

The idea of existing in between worlds, identities, and paradigms deeply resonated with many in this community. The felt sense of one chapter ending and another chapter only just beginning.

The fear and uncertainty associated with the unknown, the excitement of what is yet to come.

What I’ve observed: if you’re someone who is highly favored, it’s likely you’re being tested right now. Marriages falling apart, health scares, layoffs, miscarriages, stalled businesses, etc etc - it’s all happening NOW.

97% of God’s strongest warriors are being actively expanded. Our capacities for love, forgiveness, faith, surrender, trust - all stretched.

💭 My own reflection: if I know my community (and TBH myself because hi, it’s me, I’m people) are grappling with Starbucks-Venti size doses of metamorphosis, how can I be of service?

Because the liminal space can be scary af and from my perspective, the most important element during this time is your mindset.

Solution: I’ve compiled a top 10 hit list of recs for navigating the liminal space or any big change - see below. The list is not exhaustive, but feels comprehensive. Holistic even.

These recs are not sponsored and are based on my lived experiences.

That said, if you have anything to add please hit reply and let me know. I’d love for this list to be a living artifact that gets refined over time.

Subscribe now

The Phoenix Resource List 🐦‍🔥

1. Inner Child or Shadow Work

Often, our biggest hardships can be traced back to two things: inner child wounds and the shadow.

The shadow, a concept from Carl Jung, refers to the unconscious, hidden parts of our personality that the ego rejects or represses. This includes the traits we’re ashamed of (think: the selfishness, the rage, the fear) but also the ones we’ve buried because they felt unsafe to express (unlived potential, suppressed gifts, the dreams we quietly abandoned).

Many of the dynamics we keep experiencing: in relationships, at work, in how we treat ourselves - are directly connected to what we did or did not experience in our earliest years, particularly between ages 0-7. The beliefs we formed about safety, love, worthiness, and belonging were largely set before we even had the language to question them.

When was the last time you sat with that version of self? Your inner child aged 0-7?

In my own life, starting inner child work ignited a spiritual journey that ultimately led me to Human Design and a BRAND NEW LIFE!

How to begin: If possible, do this work in partnership with a therapist or specialist who can hold space safely. If you feel resourced enough to begin independently, there are incredible books, courses, and workshops available.

My personal favorite is To Be Magnetic: they offer on-demand workshops that combine deep journaling with EMDR-style meditations designed to help you access your subconscious, understand your limiting beliefs, and begin to heal old patterns. It’s behind a paywall but an absolute 10/10. I have a discount code - just hit reply and I’ll share it.

2. Purpose & Values Clarification

If you’re in the in-between, one of the most grounding things you can do is get clear on your personal mission statement and your values. Perhaps not perfectly or completely, but as best you can right now.

Here’s why this matters:

Your mission statement is your north star. When everything else feels unclear: the next job, the next chapter, what you’re even supposed to be doing - your mission keeps you anchored. The details of how you live it will shift and evolve. But if your purpose is to “tell stories that change lives” or “build businesses that create access” or “help people feel less alone” (all mission statements from clients) that remains true regardless of your circumstances.

Your values are the pillars of what you need to feel whole. One of my personal values is Expansion, which shows up as learning, traveling, exploring, and broadening my perspective. So while I’m in my own liminal space, I’m intentionally giving myself room to explore, question, and stay curious. That’s what I need to feel resourced. But what do you need? What makes you feel like yourself?

A 2025 Gallup study found that people who spend their time in alignment with their personal values report substantially higher levels of thriving, and according to McKinsey, while 70% of employees define their sense of purpose through work, only 15% feel they’re actually living that purpose day to day. Values clarification work closes that gap.

How to begin: Several tools online can help you identify your mission statement and core values and this is also work I do directly with clients.

If you’re looking for a deeper inner journey to understand how the universe would like to be lived through you, I cannot recommend Dr. Michael Beckwith's Life Visioning enough. Hard recommend the audiobook because it’s in the author’s voice and he recites these wonderful meditations throughout (IMO you need the audio because otherwise you miss the energy and magic of his voice).

3. Get your house in order, literally and figuratively

Let’s talk about your physical environment for a second, because this one is underrated. Several research studies have shown that our physical environment (neighborhood, home, living and work space) can greatly impact our mental and physical health.

When everything feels uncertain internally, your environment either adds to that chaos or counteracts it.

So ask yourself honestly: does my physical space add to my peace or subtract from it?

If the answer is subtract: make changes. Declutter the space that's been bothering you for months. Redecorate. Rearrange. Paint the walls. Move if you need to and have the means to. Do whatever makes your space feel like a retreat rather than another source of stress.

When the world feels upside down, your home should be the one place that feels like it’s on your side.

And while you’re at it, use this season to get your affairs in order:

• Schedule the health appointments you’ve been putting off

• Get a clear picture of your finances

• Eat foods that feel nourishing, not inflaming

• Drink water

• Move your body in ways that feel good

• Complete life admin items like executing that will or trust

Build the foundation that the next chapter of your life will stand on.

How to begin: Some of this works well solo or with loved ones - for ex: decluttering with a friend, budgeting with a partner.

But don’t be afraid to staff up! Hire a real estate broker or home organizer, engage a nutritionist or trainer, get a financial planner, etc. Build your support infrastructure now, before the next chapter arrives.

4. Stay Ready

While you’re in a holding pattern, get 👏🏾 in 👏🏾 formation 👏🏾

You’re simply waiting for your appointment to catch up with your anointment. So in the meantime and between time, get ready.

How to begin: Looking for a job? Get your resume and LinkedIn ready now. One of my clients was recently laid off but was able to sit in trust because we were ready: her resume, LinkedIn, job plan, all that was already done!

Own your business? Do the work today that lays the foundation for something BIG in the future like finally starting that podcast. Future you will thank you.

5. Plan a Hard Reset

Especially if you’re working full-time while navigating big changes and heavy emotions, you’re probably long overdue for a break.

And I’m not talking about a ‘let’s take the kids to Disney’ type of vacation - I mean a hard reset. Alone or with limited others. Where you can simply exist. I know I need one and I plan to abscond to Peru and/or Bali as early as practicable.

How to begin: Calculate the max amount of time you can get away from work and home. And not like the ‘safe’ number either.

I’m talking the ‘I could or could not have relatives in a far flung country so I will be OOO for two weeks’ type of energy. You’re kinda uncomfortable even saying you’re taking that much time but YOLO.

Think about it this way: professional athletes don’t play 365 days a year. They have an offseason - intentional, protected, non-negotiable time to rest, recover, and come back stronger. If you are carrying the weight you’re carrying right now, you deserve and need the same.

So take the time because no one is going to give it to you. Your manager won’t. Your company won’t. Your family won’t. You have to decide that your recovery matters enough to protect, and then actually protect it.

6. Monitor your content diet

You should think of the content you consume: whether it’s news, TV, music, podcasts, books, social media, the people around you, etc. as the diet you are feeding your conscious and subconscious mind. Period.

Which means if you’re constantly ingesting fear-based content, media that makes you feel behind or less than, or news that leaves you feeling powerless - that is your mental diet. And like a physical diet of processed food and no water, it will eventually show up in how you feel, even if you can’t always trace it back to the source.

This is especially true when you're already in a season of transition and your nervous system is probably less regulated than usual.

How to begin: first, simply observe how certain types of media make you feel.

For ex, when I’m in deep survival mode, I have to ease up on certain types of content that feel depressing or sad because it further dampens my mood. Instead, I opt for books, articles, and light-hearted shows like Bridgerton for a mental break. My TikTok algo is dialed in with interesting videos about spirituality topics and advancements in AI.

Reflection: What’s the best diet for your mind right now? What kind of content waters your dreams, lifts your mood, and expands your thinking?

7. Find teachers & resources that speak to this season

In times of uncertainty, sometimes it’s helpful to find people and resources that help you make sense of what you’re experiencing.

This could look like astrology, history, psychology, Human Design, philosophy, theology - the modality matters less than the impact. The goal is to find teachers, writers, and frameworks that give more color to your lived experience, offer a different perspective, or simply make you feel less alone in what you’re going through.

In this season, two Substack writers are speaking directly to my soul: FarStellar and Hello Bryah. Both are doing the kind of writing that stops you, makes you think, and leaves you feeling both seen and challenged.

Sneak Peek: in this post FarStellar lovingly and eloquently DRAGGGGGS each sun sign by their edges:

The far more common Leo Sun is one whose fire has been quietly put out, often so slowly they do not remember a time when it was burning openly. The warmth is still being performed because performance has become the substitute for the real thing, but the performance is happening from a place where nothing is actually lit anymore. You can tell, if you know what to look for. The charm is there but the chest is cold. The light that is supposed to be spilling out is being carefully measured, doled out in amounts the Leo Sun thinks the room can handle.

And the thing that does this, the mechanism, is pride, not the obvious kind astrology books describe but the hidden kind, the one that dresses itself up as self-respect. The Leo Sun who turns down the opportunity because it was not big enough, who ends the relationship because the person did not appreciate them, and who tells themselves in both cases that they deserve more. Sometimes this is actually true. More often it is fear, and pride is the costume fear puts on so the Leo Sun does not have to face how afraid they are. Because admitting the fear would require admitting that the lion has been dimming itself for a very long time, and that admission is more than the pride can carry. So the pride does the protecting instead, and what it protects you from is your own life.

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

How to begin: Start with what you're naturally curious about. If astrology speaks to you, find a trusted astrologer or writer. Follow the thread of what resonates and let it lead you somewhere new. Practical suggestions:

• Substack is an incredible resource for finding independent writers doing deep, thoughtful work across every niche imaginable

• YouTube where some of the best teachers are giving away incredible content for free

• Ask people you respect what they’re reading, watching, or listening to

8. Rage Rituals

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime: what do you do with the anger?

Because trapped emotions don’t just disappear. They live in the body.

Autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women, with nearly 80% of diagnosed cases occurring in females. Research from the National Institutes of Health found that individuals with a trauma history had a 70% higher likelihood of developing autoimmune disease.

The body keeps the score and unprocessed emotion has a physical address…our body 🫠🫠

But for many of us (especially women) we were never taught to safely express anger or rage. We were taught to manage it, minimize it, or make it more palatable for the people around us. This is exactly where rage rituals come in.

What’s a rage ritual? It's an intentional, embodied practice for releasing pent-up anger, grief, or emotional tension in a safe and conscious way. Think of it as giving your nervous system permission to discharge what it's been holding. It’s a chance to listen to your anger, feel it, and let it move through you.

How to begin: I do mine with over-ear headphones on, playing whatever song reflects my current mental state - this can be anything from classical music to Crash Out by Lizzo depending on the vibe. Then I'll either hit a pillow and scream into it, or I'll enter full rave mode and dance it out. Chaotically. Unapologetically. Works like a fucking charm.

FYI dancing is wonderful because it releases oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins - natural stress relievers that promote relaxation and reduce anxiety.

Other options: shaking your body, a brisk walk where you stomp with intention, tearing up paper, boxing, cold water exposure. The method matters less than the release. Find what works for your body and make it a practice.

9. Journaling

This might seem basic but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention writing.

In my own journey it’s been amazingly beneficial. I have the tendency to intellectualize my emotions but journaling allows me to connect deeper with what’s going on emotionally and spiritually.

When big emotions stay trapped in my head, I can spiral: anxiety, worry, doggy paddle energy. However, if I have to get them out onto the page, I can see them clearly. I can cry, scream, rant. Decide whether or not to care.

Research shows that journaling can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms while improving emotional regulation and overall well-being, and may even strengthen immune function and reduce stress-related doctor visits (Baikie & Wilhelm, Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 2005; Pennebaker et al.; American Psychological Association).

How to begin: find the journaling practice you can do consistently. For some, that’s old school pen and paper. For others, it’s typed notes on their phone or computer. I personally love DayOne as a digital journal; it’s so good!

If writing feels challenging, or your thoughts are coming faster than your hand can keep up, try voice journaling instead. This could look like voice memos on your phone, voice-to-text via your keyboard, or talking directly into an AI tool like Claude, ChatGPT or WhisprFlow.

My personal workflow: I word vomit everything into Claude - stream of consciousness, no filter, completely unhinged - and then ask it to restructure my thoughts into a journal entry making as few changes as possible. The sentiment stays raw and intact. The chaos gets organized. And now I have a journal entry I can actually return to.

10. Lean Into Tribe & Team

Often in the liminal space, it’s easier, safer even, to be alone.

To lean into your own pain and ignore the outside world. It’s hide vs having to explain, field questions, intercept other’s emotions.

But as another healer told me last year while I was in peak hermit, ‘now is the time to open up to community and allow them to support you’. Take your solitude but allow your loved ones to support you. To love you.

Especially if traditionally you are the strong one.

And audit your support team. Not just loved ones, but the professionals and helpers who keep you functioning.

My current setup: a housekeeper who cleans and meal preps once a week, a personal trainer through FutureFit, two therapists with different styles (yes, two because I like both), an astrologer, an intuitive healer, and the occasional psychic or Reiki session. I’m actively looking for a new financial planner (send recs!) and later this year I want to restart 1:1 Spanish tutoring.

Your team doesn’t have to look like mine. But the question is worth asking: who’s on yours?

How to begin: Get honest about your needs. Where are you depleted? Where could you delegate, ask for help, or bring in a professional? Make the list. Start there.

Optional: Experiencing Heartbreak? 🐦‍🔥

I recommend this Heartbreak Healing Course by Sahara Rose.

I know, I know. A course for heartbreak sounds cringe. I thought so too when she first launched it. But then my heart was broken so I bought it, and honestly it was really good. It’s a mix of short 10-15 minute videos with small exercises designed to be completed in 30 days. It was very helpful in helping me sort through my emotions and make sense of the crazy. Definitely recommend.

You are on a precipice

If you read the list above and thought: OMG so many things! I’m sorry but yes - healing is often a FT job despite already having an already full plate of professional and personal responsibilities.

But this type of season, existing in the liminal space, is an invitation. An invitation to investigate, decide, and refine. You can decide to move, to change jobs, to actively move toward your highest timeline.

When I started writing this post, I felt called to pull an oracle card from Alana Fairchild (who IMO is the oracle card GOAT) Earth Warriors Oracle and what I received felt like a message for all of us:

The Message: A threshold appears, bringing an ending so complete that it is no longer possible to return to what has been. The light of the stars is your faithful guide to this new world. As you trust in your divine connection, deconstructed forms shall reshape themselves into relevant, helpful and beautiful new ways of living, thriving and expressing your true self. Trust in your strangest ideas…This crossing is healing and furthers the activation of your divine potential. Change is afoot. You won’t feel in control of the process. You are on the correct path, even if the birthing pains to fulfill it are challenging. You are guided to reject societal norms about how you are supposed to live or what sorts of things you are supposed to value. At the right moment, you will leave the past behind, enter the fullness of the present, and open to the brightness of your future.

Godspeed to all my Phoenixes out there. Here’s to our rising 🐦‍🔥

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New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. This is a special deep dive for paid subscribers. You can upgrade your subscription here. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Do you feel like you’re in the ‘in-between’? On the precipice of some new chapter that has yet to fully take shape?

Across clients, friends, and honestly complete strangers, I’m finding that many people are existing in a liminal space (best way I can describe it).

Liminal space? Derived from the Latin word limen, meaning “threshold,” these are places where the usual expectations of reality are disrupted.

It’s that in-between place where you’ve shifted out of one identity but haven’t quite entered the next. Old thing has ended (or is ending) but the new thing hasn’t fully emerged yet.

Some describe this as feeling like they’re in a ‘holding pattern’ or ‘temporarily suspended’.

Current examples from my clients:

• Feeling a bit trapped in a job they’ve outgrown, but not yet in the role of their dreams. They know the current job is no longer an aligned fit, but the right opportunity hasn’t revealed itself yet.

• Ready for a family but the pieces are still coming together. They’re in the expectant in-between right before everything changes.

• Life circumstances have shown that the current path is no longer tenable, but the details regarding the new, much more aligned path remain slightly out of view.

Whether it’s personal, professional, or both: the felt sense is like you have one foot in one world, while the other foot is trying to find its footing in a new world. And that can feel deeply uncomfortable.

Uncertain. Scary as hell. Electrifying. All at once.

You are pregnant with possibility. But the kind of baby being birthed? Still a mystery. 😅

Why is this feeling so common right now? I don’t believe there’s one answer; however, we are living through a rare convergence of endings and beginnings across multiple systems – astrology, numerology, Human Design, and Chinese astrology (just to name a few) - all signaling the same thing at the same time: we are in a massive transition.

Below I’ve included four of the top reasons that might explain why we’re experiencing a background energy of transition:

Snake Year to Horse Year (Chinese astrology) 🐎

2025 was the Year of the Snake: a year of shedding, introspection, wisdom, and deep transformation. Snake years ask us to slow down, go inward, and release what no longer serves us.

2026 is the Year of the Fire Horse and the Horse represents freedom, momentum, bold action, and forward movement. Fire adds passion, intensity, and ambition.

Translation: 2025 asked us to shed. 2026 is asking us to start.

But right now? Many of us are in that awkward moment between the shed and the sprint. Still processing. Not quite ready to gallop.

That’s the liminal space.

9 Year to a 1 Year (Numerology) 💥

👀 What is Numerology? The study of numbers as living energies with meaning. Each year carries a “Universal Year Number” that shapes the collective energy we all experience.

To calculate the Universal Year, you add the digits of the year together and reduce down to a single digit. For example:

2+0+2+5 = 9 (2025 was a 9 Year)

2+0+2+6 = 10, and 1+0 = 1 (2026 is a 1 Year)

2025 (9 Year) was the final year of a 9-year numerological cycle. The number 9 represents completion, closure, release, and endings. It’s a year that asks you to finish chapters, grieve what needs grieving, and let go of relationships, patterns, and identities that have run their course. 9 years are rarely easy; they’re energetically heavy because they require us to release before we can receive.

That’s why the vibe of 2025 for many (myself included): was: “all my life I had to fight” 😭

2026 (1 Year) launches a brand new 9-year cycle. The number 1 represents

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Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

After months that felt like moving through mud, I’m finally feeling the tiniest bit of relief.

First, I declared victory over my apartment. It was Jacques vs CDMX but I’m finally declaring this space 'good enough'. Major items like my couch and bed have been delivered, walls have been painted, plants purchased. With the exception of art and decorations, I’m doneeeeee 🙌🏾

Taking a page from my startup playbook, 80% done is good enough. At 80% completion, you have a solid mvp (minimum viable product) that can be refined down the line.

In this season, it felt like a monumental win.

🤔 Reflection: where in your life is 80% complete good enough? Your resume? The business plan or website you keep iterating? The house you’re decorating? As high performers, sometimes we let perfect be the enemy of good.

Where can you declare victory and move on? #askingforafriend

Beyond the apartment, the last two weeks have been absolutely splendid. I facilitated my first corporate workshop at a Midwest firm in Kansas City, which was a manifestation that came true. Last year I set a goal of expanding to clients and partners in the Midwest and honestly forgot about it.

But last fall when I presented at a legal conference, a woman walked past me and said something to the effect of: loved your presentation, I teach yoga and go on retreats too.

Yoga and retreats…at a legal conference? 👀

OMGGGG, Tribe sighting! Because those words are rarely, if ever, said to me in those spaces so I immediately asked to exchange contact info because I was talking to a legit unicorn, and mama didn’t raise no fool.

We stayed in touch and months later I was presenting at her firm! The group was welcoming and engaged, plus I’m facilitating a second workshop at the firm next month.

After Kansas City, I flew home to St. Louis to see family, and while there I rediscovered a time capsule of things I’d scrapbooked between age 10-14. As many of you know, I’ve been on a ‘get close to my inner child’ kick so this was like opening a page into my middle school brain.

There were medals and schedules from my first track meets, report cards, programs from my 8th grade graduation, and my personal favorite: a letter that I’d written on December 31, 1999 in case the world ended or technology went down (if you’re old enough to remember the craze of Y2K) 😭🤣😭🤣

I remember being a kid and being fascinated about what might happen because of Y2K - and I distinctly remember drafting this letter on my bunk bed and putting it in a box for archeologists to find! I figured if the world ended, scientists would eventually find and excavate our remains like they did with Pompeii. 😭

It was comical to read but also very endearing because I realized my younger self was a historian. She was funny and always wanted to live a big life. And, to the surprise of probably 0 people who know me, she was also a bit fixated on accomplishment lol.

My trip down memory lane inspired my contemplation for this week’s newsletter.

🤔 Take a moment right now and consider: who were you around ages 10-14? What was important? In particular, how is your middle school self showing up today? Or not?

Middle school sucked for a lot of us, so I’m less interested in what happened in school and more interested in what that awkward version of ourselves actually represented. What did they like? What were their dreams?

And if you’re doing deconditioning work: what did your younger self consume? What movies, music, etc did you listen to? Who did you look up to?

These early references point to some of the earliest points of your societal conditioning.

For example, when I was younger, I loved this old school song After the Pain by Betty Wright. The famous line is: Don't blame Mr. Charlie, Mr. Charlie is just a man, and he's doing the best he can.

GTFOH (for context, Mr. Charlie was cheating all over town)

As an adult, I’m blaming Charlie. Charlie is being blamed and kicked out.

Music and movies were great in the 80s and 90s butttt not always the most empowering for women. It’s low key scary going back and watching old movies and songs because too frequently the underlying message was ‘you’re lucky if he chooses you’ plus other weird gender + racial stereotypes. 😮‍💨

After St. Louis, I flew to NYC for an entire week of work. Two corporate workshops, several 1:1 sessions, business development coffee chats. Traveling salesman in full effect.

Typically when I’m this busy it’s impossible to get the newsletter out on time. In the past I’d just skip the week and catch up asap; however, my intuition has been repeatedly signaling that in this season: I have to prioritize creativity in the same vein as client work. No more putting it off. I have to figure out a way through.

So, in pursuit of this renewed commitment, I carved out time early one morning to write. I got up at 6am and tried doing the practices that typically open up the channel for me to write. And nothing happened.

I had ideas but the full draft wasn’t dropping in like usual.

Then it hit me: I needed a new approach. I can’t just copy and paste my idyllic Mexico City practice in a new city with completely different energy. I needed a new habit. A new routine. Plan A-2.

The temporary block was inviting me to develop a new creative practice. A new way to consistently write while traveling and working — and honestly, a way to create while deep in my masculine.

Because that’s what’s happening underneath: in cities like NYC, I careen into my masculine energy so hard it’s not even funny. It’s subconscious and almost automatic; feels like a switch is flicked and boop. Masculine energy, we here. City mode activated.

Which is great for pitching, facilitating corporate workshops, and navigating the city. But less helpful for writing my newsletter.

What’s the path forward? Finding a new routine that contemplates writing in a completely different energy. Finding pockets of time to write when circumstances are less than ideal.

Writing a book? What’s your routine for getting a v1 drafted even if it’s flexible?

Committed to posting more content? What’s your routine?

Want to start a new business? What’s your routine for giving the new venture attention and care?

Routines are critical in developing the necessary habits and patterns to go to the next level. Period.

And to be clear - I don’t think routines have to be rigid. For ex: working out at the same time every day; although that can be helpful to some.

Rather, I think of routines as “a sequence of actions regularly followed.” (Oxford Dictionary).

It’s something you regularly do — even if the time of day or location changes.

🤔 Your turn: do you have any routine gaps? Here’s how to find out (very simple):

1. Think of your current intentions or goals

2. Do you have a routine to support each one?

What if I have routine gap(s)? Great! Now you KNOW. Being aware is the first step. Aligned action comes next.

Astrologically, we’re experiencing a rare concentration of Aries energy so use kickstart energy to identify new positive routines that support your highest timeline.

Here’s to our rising 🐦‍🔥

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Even under the best of circumstances, I think moving sucks.

I recognize that some people love it. The idea of a fresh start, a new chapter. But I find moving from one home to another incredibly disruptive. Like many things, moving is beneficial in the end but annoying af while happening.

Leaving the apartment I shared with my ex-partner (massive thank you to everyone who reached out with a kind message after I posted my last article) was extremely emotional. The urge to disassociate was strong. I kept thinking “how is this happening?” “how did we get here?”

At my request, my ex and I performed a closing ritual to energetically close out our relationship, the home we shared, and the life we’d created. We each shared what we were grateful for and what we wanted to leave behind. He apologized again. I vowed to him and the universe that I never wanted anything like this to happen to me ever again. It was as amicable as it could be given the circumstances.

Why perform a ritual? The rupture of our relationship felt too monumental to just fade into the void; I felt the need to consciously sever the energetic cords that I knew still connected us.

After the ritual, we gave the keys back to our landlord, and went our separate ways.

I moved into a new apartment in Roma Norte, one of the best neighborhoods in Mexico City. It had everything on my wish list and was pretty much love at first sight: two bedrooms, tons of natural light, and a private terrace with enough space to do yoga.

Plus it had a dishwasher, which if you live in CDMX you know that is like finding a four-leaf clover. #Blessed

My last apt was furnished; however, my new home was unfurnished so that meant I had to buy everything: beds, couch, rugs, desk, shower curtain, everythinggggg

Many people were like 'yay! time for interior design!' but I wasn't excited.

That’s the crazy thing with separations: you’re forced to make all these big life decisions like where to live, what couch to buy, etc while still in the depths of survival mode. And possibly low-grade or high-key depression 🫠

Your nervous system is still freaked out. Decisions that used to be quick, now take forever to process.

The urge to merge (deep desire to be partnered) is real. Your nervous system is accustomed to having a person. Your habits, patterns, thought processes, haven’t fully caught up to your new normal.

It’s like you’re reaching for a ghost.

🆘 My best friend came to visit and she said my energy reminded her of Jacques circa 2016 when I worked at Skadden (Wall Street corporate law firm). That was a wake up call and necessary mirror because that version of Jacques was the epitome of dysregulated and not awake.

I was caught in cycles of scarcity, burnout, and fatigue. Doing all the things - buying luxury bags, going on fancy vacations, etc - to both reward and numb the exhaustion.

And my home was not in order: all of my furniture was delayed, there was a growing list of repairs, my hot water kept going out, and everything felt like a fight.

Close friends would ask how I’m doing and I’d say I’m in a season of deep discomfort. I felt unmoored, adrift, not settled.

So my energy was giving frazzled.

As a Human Design Caves Environment, I know that feeling settled is my key to feeling safe and settling my nervous system.

So I gave myself permission. Permission to prioritize getting my home situated over literally everything else except active clients.

Permission to make this the home of my inner child’s dreams! I kept asking: what would baby Jacques want in her home? What colors or textures feel soothing?

Permission to design for ME. For the first time in a long time (possibly ever?!), I am not optimizing my home for guests, a partner, a roommate, etc.

My Inner Contemplation: if I knew I’d meet the love of my life in 12-18 months, how would I live now? What experiences would I prioritize?

I’m creating the Projector Cave of my dreams. I bought a cream-colored couch, carpet, bed, and chair because YOLO (like JT said, I don’t have kids), plus walls filled with Black and Mexican art featuring women. It’s a lair where I can recharge and get inspired.

I was sharing this POV with a friend and she asked how each of the Human Design Environments would design their dream home. My answer to her question inspired this article today. ☕️

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How each Human Design Environment would design their dream home

But first, what is Human Design Environment: it's the type of physical space where you naturally thrive. Where your energy feels most at home.

Where can I find this information? In your Human Design Bodygraph - you can get your results quickly here. It’s the second paragraph form the bottom.

Specifically: For the Human Design nerds out there like myself, your Environment is based on the bottom left arrow in your Bodygraph. These arrows are part of an advanced Human Design concept called the Four Transformations.

There are 6 different Human Design Environment possibilities:

• Caves: Enclosed, controlled spaces that feel safe, cozy, or warm

• Kitchens: Inviting, communal spaces where gathering happens naturally

• Markets: Busy, stimulating environments with activity and people

• Valleys: Open, natural environments with space to roam

• Shores: Edge spaces where two worlds meet

• Mountains: Elevated, quiet spaces with perspective and distance

The names are not literal; they're conceptual. It’s more about the feeling than the space itself.

Caves

If your Environment is Caves, you thrive in spaces that feel safe, enclosed, and protected. Homes that feel sterile or overcrowded, not our vibe. You likely want control over who comes in and out of your space, and you might naturally gravitate toward the perimeter of a room rather than the middle. As a kid, you were probably a master fort-builder. I LOVED forts as a kid. Traveling (especially airlines because they are the opposite of a cave), often exhaust us so having a home where we can recharge is critical.

The dream home for someone with a Caves Environment features:

• comfortable sofas and beds

• having a sacred space like an office or she-shed

• candles, incense, and great lighting

• bathtubs, throw blankets, and Sade

• warm drinks (coffee, tea, golden milk, etc.)

For Caves folks, it’s all about feeling safe and regulated in the space.

Kitchens

If your Environment is Kitchens, the physical space is important, but it's really about the people gathered in it. Having coffee with a loved one, dinner parties, debates over cocktails, and deep conversations. Being in spaces where things feel like they’re happening and you can be in the center. Places where your people come together.

The dream home for someone with a Kitchens Environment features:

• perfect space(s) for hosting dinner parties, friends, family, etc.

• game night, pool parties, and kickbacks

• beautiful, inspiring kitchen or dining room that serves as hub of the house (huge island a plus)

• extra entertaining spaces like an awesome backyard or terrace

• getting turnt up at home

For Kitchens folks, it’s all about the people and engagement in the space.

Markets

If your Environment is Markets, both the home and neighborhood matter greatly. You feel at home in spaces where some sort of exchange is taking place: business being transacted, interesting people and conversations, makers creating, energy flowing. Having options nearby - shops, restaurants, different workspaces - is key. You need to be able to check in with yourself and ask “what do I need today?” and then have spaces available that match that vibe.

The dream home for someone with a Markets Environment features:

• an urban oasis: a safe space to escape but close enough to the action

• great areas for hosting friends, family, business partners, etc.

• quiet place to retreat like a reading corner or window nook

• proximity to shops, restaurants, cafes, often necessary

• proximity to your tribe, major plus

For Markets folks, it’s all about the action surrounding the space.

Shores

If your Environment is Shores, you thrive in areas where 2+ worlds or environments meet. Where the porch (inside) meets the world (outside), where the mountains meet the ocean. Natural transition points like rivers, forests, mountains, and coastlines; as well as constructed edges like gardens, parks, and the suburbs (the in-between space that’s neither city nor country).

The dream home for someone with a Shores Environment features:

• a killer porch or balcony

• two worlds coming together: city + suburb; city + country, etc.

• space to observe sunrise and sunset

• floor-to-ceiling windows

• proximity to water or nature, even if it’s a short drive away

For Shores folks, it’s all about the juxtaposition in the space.

Valleys

If your Environment is Valleys, open areas and sound really matter. You’re highly sensitive to the acoustics of where you live. Some people with Valleys Environment love the hum of a city, while others require something much more quiet. Wide open spaces where there’s room to roam like lofts and studio spaces are coveted.

The dream home for someone with a Valleys Environment features:

• Uncluttered, expansive, open space with great flow

• Tons of natural light

• Some sort of nature element - could be anything from house plants to an actual forest nearby

• Floor to ceiling windows, tranquil soothing sounds

• Energy that puts you at ease so you can sit back, relax, and finally exhale

For Valleys folks, it’s all about feeling calm and soothed in the space.

Mountains

If your Environment is Mountains, you need elevation, both physically and mentally. You thrive in high spaces where you can see the lay of the land and gain perspective. You’re the person who specifically requests upper floors in hotels, who loves penthouse apartments, who feels most at ease when you can look out and see what’s happening below without being in the thick of it. You need space to retreat and recalibrate; being up high allows you to step back and see the big picture.

The dream home for someone with a Mountains Environment features:

• Views, views, and more views

• Tons of natural light

• A sense of separation from the masses - you feel ‘above it all’ in the best possible way

• Room to relax and breathe easy

• Actual mountains, hugeeee bonus

For Mountains folks, it’s all about the elevation in the space.

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As you contemplate about your Human Design Environment, I encourage you to consider:

• What does home represent for you? A resting place? A closet? A refuge?

• What does your ideal environment feel like? Does it feel rural? Moody? Cheerful? Calm?

Let me know in the comments!

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

I’m finally ready to tell this story, my story. My current story.

Last year, my world was completely upended. The timeline shifted.

“Shatter” is the only way to describe how I felt, the grief. Not shattered physically, but shattered mentally, emotionally, and in some ways spiritually. The picture above is the beach in Spain where I allowed everything to fall apart.

I was cracked open.

I was building a life with my partner and suddenly it all came crashing down. Seven years. We’d traveled the world, lived in 4 different cities, gotten engaged, and weathered so many storms: parents getting sick, siblings dying, complete career pivots, etc.

And yet, despite being deeply in love, it still wasn’t enough. Enough for him to keep his promises, or enough for me to stay.

That’s the hard truth that goes under-discussed: it takes more than love for a partnership to work. Love is table-stakes, the starting point.

And tbh, the first six years of our relationship were some of my best because I had the absolute privilege of living life with my best friend. As an only child, I’ve always longed for a partner - a best friend, a sibling, etc. And here was someone who really got me.

We were both special snowflakes; in the past, I always felt like an octagon trying to date a triangle. He was my matching octagon.

We created an orbit and frequency that was uniquely ours. Our parents were convinced we had our own language. He was my twin-flame and one of my soulmates - the special souls you make a pact with prior to incarnation to learn, grow, and experience life together. In another life, we could’ve easily been brother and sister.

And yet, that person didn’t hold up his end of the partnership, which left me in the position of either: (1) sacrificing myself and what I deserve in service of the relationship and our shared history or (2) making the scarier, yet high self worth decision to leave.

I chose path 2, but I’m not dissing path 1. Women have been programmed for centuries that path 1 is the superior choice, and for many it might be. I’m simply sharing MY truth.

And here’s my truth: sometimes, what you love can transform from medicine into poison, and it’s our duty to be honest about what’s helping us versus harming us. Relationships, jobs, friends, etc. - all of these arrangements can start off beneficial; medicine for our spirit, the blessing we prayed for; and evolve into a situation that’s no longer aligned.

What once felt natural, now feels forced or deeply unsettling.

When clients are debating whether to stay or leave a job, I ask them: Is this the soil you need to thrive? Soil = your environment and circumstances. The people you’re surrounded by. The pace you’re operating at. The culture you’re immersed in. The type of work you’re doing. The actual values of the organization.

If the answer is ‘no, I cannot thrive here’ then you can either stay in that soil and fight for survival/change, or start planning your way to new soil.

When I asked myself that same question about my partnership, the answer was: no, this is no longer an environment in which I can thrive. It is neither safe nor nourishing.

Looking back, the hardest part wasn’t the answer; it was giving myself permission to act on it.

Staying would’ve meant settling for less than I deserved and making my decisions out of fear. Fear of starting over, fear of being single when it seems ghetto as hell out there in the dating market, fear of being a single woman in a foreign country.

Fear was loud, high self worth was quiet.

Prior-Version Jacques would’ve let fear drive the car and make decisions, but not this time. This time, I was choosing Jacques even if that meant jumping into the great unknown (I call this liminal place, the Void).

How did I decide to leap? Deep down in my bones it felt like the right decision; my inner knowing was clear no matter how much I disliked the answer.

Because low key, we always know. Even if it’s hard, annoying, and painful - we know.

Despite everything that happened, I have no regrets about the partnership. I don’t view it as a waste of time because for years, that relationship was exactly the soil we both needed: the place where we could grew into these versions of ourselves, even if we couldn't stay planted there forever.

I would’ve been terrified to leave corporate America and do my own thing without a partner who wasn’t a cowboy + my #1 fan.

As the poet Olivia Dean said: “Love’s never wasted when it’s shared.”

So I can hold the anger, pain, grief, hurt, and feelings of betrayal; while sitting in gratitude because through it all my capacity has expanded.

I grew my wings. 🦋

Why I’m sharing this so publicly

A few years ago, an author/teacher I really respect, Sahara Rose, publicly disclosed how her marriage of seven years suddenly ended when she discovered her husband had been unfaithful throughout their marriage. For context, Sahara’s book, Discover Your Dharma, helped affirm that I wanted to be a coach.

She was vulnerable in ways that felt both foreign and admirable. Instead of hiding her divorce, she embraced it. She shared her divorce journey on social media, featured relationship-focused guests on her podcast for months, and even created a course for heartbreak.

She was healing out in the open while helping others do the same.

Sahara had learned three very important things that I was soon to discover:

1. Shame lives in the shadows, in the areas we’re reluctant to discuss or disclose. I realized I don’t want to hide, I want to heal. The last software update of Jacques would’ve kept this quiet – pushed it under the rug and emerged in a year like TADA! But I’m holding up a light and shining a light on the dark places.

1. Our greatest pain = our greatest teachers. I want to feel this pain fully. Process it. Alchemize it. Learn from it. And share what I'm learning, the way Sahara did.

2. Great pain often requires an outlet. Many turn to substances; I’m turning to my writing. My emotional frequency has been amplified and my intuition heightened. I’ve filled notebooks with writing in the last six months and I don’t know yet what’s important but there’s something here…

While writing this newsletter (which I struggled with because this level of vulnerability still feels 🤢), I camped out at one of my favorite trees for some extra grounding and this exact message channeled through me:

The relationship ending is part of a bigger picture for both of you. You needed to leave so you could learn to exercise the level and frequency of self worth that’s necessary for what comes next. You had to CHOOSE YOU and learn to RELEASE. Not hold on for dear life out of some outdated sense of self-martyrdom. In this lifetime, you wanted to learn to choose yourself even when it’s hard af. Because from that rupture, a space will be created. Actually a lot of space - and it’s from that space that a new world will be born. New identities, greater emotional capacity. And most importantly, where your creativity will be birthed and throat chakra unlocked and activated. The book/subject you’ve been feeling called to write for the last two years - how to re-architect your life using human design - was actually preparation for what you’re experiencing now. YOU are the source material NOW, in this present moment. This experience is important, pay attention. Listen to it, write about it. This isn’t just for you.

For years, I thought I was going to write a book on how to choose alignment and re-architect your life based on my experience transitioning from lawyer → founder → executive coach.

Turns out…the universe wants that to be FRESH source material. I signed up for God’s strongest soldier package and it’s crazy work 🫠

I have more white space right now than I’ve ever had in my entire life. A completely blank canvas. I have the means and autonomy to be anyone, anywhere, doing anything in the world.

I finally have the freedom I prayed for and it feels both exhilarating and absolutely terrifying. The life I build from here is entirely on me.

I don’t have the answers (yet) but I’m on a quest to deeply explore: how to rebuild an authentic and aligned life? What are the components? What are some frameworks to use?

I’m committed to experimenting and sharing with this community what I’m learning along the way, so it’s likely my writing (and possibly even my coaching) will change and/or evolve.

This particular newsletter was the hardest and most uncomfortable one I’ve ever written. Ever. How do you share something so personal? How do you write the enormity of what you’re experiencing so it can be captured in a 7-8 minute read?

It was a challenge to write what scares me; to find the edges of my voice and comfort zone. To break free. But it feels necessary to my healing journey because the only way is through.

I’m inviting you into this process with me. We’ll both observe what works and what doesn’t. And I’m asking you to be honest with me about what resonates and what falls flat.

Here’s to Day 49 of Liberated Living 🥹🙈😬😳🥴😭🙏🏾

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Toolkit 🛠️

Timing is crazy. I started writing this newsletter on what would have been the three-year anniversary of our engagement, and almost one year exactly from when our life started unraveling.

Yesterday was also the Spring Equinox and the start of the new astrological year.

In laymen terms: this is nature’s New Year, not January 1st. The Spring Equinox marks the moment when day and night are equal length, and from here, the light starts winning. Energy shifts from rest to growth.

Astrologically, the sun enters Aries (the first sign of the zodiac), kicking off a fresh 12-month cycle. If you’ve been feeling stagnant, stuck, or like you’re waiting for something to shift; this is often when things start picking up. Mercury is also stationing direct after being in retrograde.

🐦‍🔥 Here’s what I’m moving towards:

• Designing a home that feels like a love letter to Black women; a creative escape and refuge

• Learning in all aspects: learning more about spiritual practices, leadership techniques, myself, my own creative process, etc.

• Showing up more in community in Mexico City

• Reinforcing the infrastructure of my business so it can truly scale

• ‘Sitting’ firm in this part of the journey - the in between, the rebuild, the solitude

These are the big goals, and they’re not metric-based, but intention-based.

I intend to view the space that’s been created (no matter how traumatically) as an invitation to reclaim myself.

What are you moving towards?

What are you trying to reclaim?

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

It’s been a month and a half since my last newsletter and for that you have my apologies. 🙏🏾

But you know my philosophy: I’d rather be late and come correct vs on time serving up mid work.

Because what would Beyoncé do? She wouldn't send a ChatGPT-written newsletter out of desperation. And neither will I. 😉

What’s been keeping me busy: I hosted my third wellness retreat (recap below), moved — which, even under the best circumstances, always sucks —facilitated a Galentine’s Day corporate workshop at the British Consulate in New York City with five days notice, onboarded my first (!) strategic hire so I can avoid delays like this in the future, and hosted friends in CDMX. All while managing my business and feelings of overwhelm because of the state of the world...

Issalot.

But I’m back, rested, recently grounded, and excited to lean into this newsletter more than ever this year. 🔥

Retreat Recap

😮‍💨 Where do I even begin?

Cutting right to the chase: this was probably our best retreat yet.

Over the years we’ve iterated and ironed out some of the kinks, but God did its big one this time.

Our Guests: we hosted seven incredible women spanning multiple generations (ages 30s–60s) and life stages: moms, caregivers, corporate executives, a prior elected official, an educator, and an entrepreneur.

And my mom!

For context: my mom has never done yoga or really meditated a day in her life. But now she is a full-on woo-woo convert. 🤣

She’s a Projector, and I think the retreat activated some of her psychic gifts because within weeks of returning home, she began having prophetic dreams. (Most Projectors carry dormant psychic abilities. Retreats have a way of waking things up.)

Favorite moment with my mom: it’s Day 3 of the retreat and she finally gets it. What I do for a living and the impact I hope to have.

Once I stopped being a lawyer she had no idea what I was doing for work; but now she understood.

She was able to finally understand my obsession with Human Design and what ‘coaching’ entails because many in the Boomer generation cannot compute coaching as a profession lol. (them: so you’re not coaching a team 👀)

I was able to do a cleansing and manifestation ritual with my mother on a beautiful beach in Mexico. Where I’m from, that kind of thing just doesn’t happen.

On the last day, my mom looked me dead in the eyes and said:

“Poodie (my childhood nickname, because Black), you’re anointed.”

If you grew up in the church like my mom, calling someone ‘anointed’ is HIGH praise. It really doesn’t get better than that.

BUT THIS TIME IT DOES! Keep reading 😉

Day One: Opening the Container

Sara and I divide and conquer. She organizes the group meet up at the airport, while I arrive early to the villa to decorate and coordinate with the staff.

My mom was with me and immediately became my intern for the day. (She retires this year and has formally requested to be put on payroll. 😂)

From the moment guests arrive, our intention is simple: make them feel pampered immediately. Before anyone walks through the door, I assemble personalized gift bags for each guest featuring:

• Korean beauty face mask

• Mexican artisanal soap

• My favorite Mexican organic chocolate

• Printed overview of each guest's Human Design chart, plus select elements of their astrology and numerology

• Plus the gift bags themselves, which featured each person’s initial and served as beach bags

By arrival time, it’s 1000% snack time so a charcuterie board is always waiting. Dinner follows quickly, and we close the evening with a grounding exercise on the beach to connect with the land, officially open the container, and set an intention for our time together.

It’s time to remember to exhale.

Days 2-3: Laying the Foundation

Our first full day opens with a sunrise meditation.

There’s something magical about the ocean at dawn. I find watching the sunrise over the ocean both grounding and energizing; a reminder of the majesty of life.

Following meditation, I introduced the group to Morning Pages, a journaling practice popularized by The Artist’s Way (highly recommend) where you write stream of consciousness for a set duration (15 minutes for us) without stopping.

The hardest part is keeping the pen moving, but group loved it. Some incorporated it into their routines the very next day. For more context re: this practice, click here.

Journaling flowed into yoga with Sophia, our instructor and shaman, who can always sense the types of asanas, meditations, exercises, and experiences to program. Absolutely no notes.

During the afternoons, I facilitated two thought-provoking Human Design workshops designed to invite everyone to hold up a mirror and gently turn inward. Toward their default design. To introduce new vocabulary - one that would be useful not just for themselves, but for their families too. (Every mom left with a 30+ page written Human Design family report.)

In the evenings, we enjoyed yummy meals prepared by our chef. Saturday night in particular is a personal favorite because it’s movie night! We eat dinner in our pajamas and then pile into the villa's home theater.

We watched Wild, a movie about determination, perseverance, and reclaiming self (very on-theme). I’d never seen it but it deeply resonated - especially the idea of solitude and writing as a window to healing.

Day 4: Free Day

We provide meals but that’s it. There is no itinerary, and for the first time in months (sometimes years) women have free, unstructured time.

Dobby is a free elf! 🗣️🗣️

I spent the entire day at the beach and it was marvelous: went on a 2-mile beach walk, swam in the ocean, and chatted with our guests. Others got massages, went paddleboarding, or settled into a great book.

Regardless of the path, it was time to simply exist.

Day 5: Release & Return

On the last full day of programming, Sara, my co-facilitator, did a meditation that had everyone boo-hoo’ing.

Not cute crying either. Full on TEARS, myself included. 😭😭

It was an emotionally charged moment but a much needed release for all of us. Soul-level wounds were processed and released. We followed with ample integration time: group discussion and a mindfulness walk.

Then I facilitated a release and manifestation ritual using the four elements: air, water, fire, and earth. To energetically release the identities, habits, and patterns that no longer serve. To plant seeds for the futures we're ready to birth.

Sophia treated us to a beautiful sound bath on the beach. Then we attempted a group singing circle. Attempted because Sara and I completely struggled and kept throwing the group off key. It was pure comedy. 😂

For our final evening, we hosted an all white dance + dinner party!

Very few things are more freeing than dancing in all white with your toes in the sand. Our most played artist? Cardi B. I didn’t see it coming but I’m not here to argue with greatness.

I love mixing spirituality with hip hop. It feels like real life — IMO you genuinely need both.

Following dinner we had a vision board party! And we went old school: magazines, glue sticks, and construction paper. We queued up a playlist and spent hours cutting pictures and laughing. At the end, we shared our visions with one another.

This was our first time having a vision board party and certainly won’t be the last!

BONUS: Sara had the brilliant idea of having everyone write a kind note for each person present. I read mine while writing this newsletter. My favorite sentence:

You are a light. Thank you for being an answered prayer.

Because that was my intention: to be present and grounded enough to hold space for inner transformation. Not by having the answers, but by providing the tools and creating the space for others to find their own answers and connect with their highest self.

To return to themselves. (The retreat theme was Return to You — pun very much intended. 😉)

Day: 6 - Closing the Container

One last yoga flow, followed by another delicious breakfast, packing, more laughs, and a shuttle back to the airport.

The women left the retreat changed. Lighter. Feeling just a bit freer.

All of this wouldn’t be possible without Sara. We’ve been hosting these experiences for three years and there’s no better collaborator.

She’s a new mom and showed up despite pumping around the clock and the overall fatigue of being a new mom.

She’s a fighter, I’m a fighter, and together we’re going to keep fighting. Fighting for space and time to disconnect, recenter, and come back to ourselves ✨

Toolkit 🛠️

This is already a long one, so I’ll keep this brief: this week, I invite you to design a half-day retreat for yourself.

If you have kids or a partner, consider this an intentional step away. Give yourself the gift of three hours (or more) and determine your plan for the time.

Grocery shopping and other reasonable adult things? NO.

Instead, identify activities that feel nourishing or allow you to simply be. For ex: sleeping in, watching a meditation on YouTube, followed by a beach read indoors.

Whatever it is, make sure it creates space to return to you.

Join us in 2027!

📆 Lock this date in your calendar: Feb 4-9, 2027

If you’d like to join us next year for six days of magic, save these dates, and reply 2027 for more info and to secure your spot.

We’d love to host you 💫

Share

Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Our 6-day women’s wellness retreat in Mexico kicks off this week! I’m so excited to welcome our guests, pamper them, and spend time in community at my favorite place: the beach 🤸🏾‍♂️

My inner Projector+Virgo is smiling because the to-do list has been tackled:

• Transportation and healthy meals organized ✅

• Gift bags purchased ✅

• Human Design coaching worksheets & welcome packets printed ✅

• Incense, self-help books, and 4 decks of oracle cards because they’re all my babies packed ✅

• WhatsApp group excited ✅

• Great weather forecast ✅

It’s time!

Getting a retreat off the ground is a labor of love. The logistics, sales, planning, etc. can be a lot. Especially when coupled with other business + life priorities. For ex, my retreat co-facilitator released a children’s book two months ago and she’s a new mom. #WomenAreSuperHeroes

How did I get to the finish line? By being organized and ruthlessly protective of my time.

Time is one of the few resources we can’t buy or get back, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve refined my approach to managing my time. Now I have ‘rules of the road’ for how my time is used/scheduled.

As a coach, I also help my clients audit how they’re spending their time.

One of my clients, Cheryl (name changed for privacy), is an MD at an investment bank. During one of our first sessions, she told me she felt “like she never had enough time.”

I’ve been there. And I have side-eyed those memes that say “you and Beyoncé have the same 24 hours.” Because do we?! 🙄

That said, when a client tells me they don’t have enough time, the culprit is usually one of three things. And with Cheryl, it was a combination of all three:

1. Saying yes to too many things

2. Having porous boundaries with work, self, or others

3. Not taking control of their calendar

Let’s talk about that third one (calendar control) because it’s sometimes the most fixable and can have the biggest impact.

I’ve found you’re either reactionary or proactive with your calendar:

Reactionary

• Meetings get scheduled whenever the other party wants to meet

• You feel like you’ve lost control of your schedule

• Your calendar controls you

Granted, there’s always some level of reactionary scheduling (clients, big meetings, managers, etc.) but sometimes that’s the default mode. For the minority percentage of you that are entry-level employees or junior associates at law/consulting/finance firms (I know my audience) I recognize there’s not much you can do in those first few years. Stay strong and get proactive as soon you can. The rest of you 👀

Proactive

• Meetings happen when it’s optimal for you (with flexibility for exceptions)

• You calendar time for yourself: gym, breaks, deep work, etc.

• Your calendar reflects your priorities

For ex: My Thursdays and Fridays are packed, so I intentionally block Mondays as “no call” days with heads down time pre-scheduled. Is Monday completely off-limits? No, there are exceptions. But it’s not an available day on my calendar for just any meeting.

Random chats? No.

Recurring meetings? Also no.

This is what works for you me; however, I encourage you to establish your own rules of the road for access to YOU. Access to your calendar, access to your time.

Below are some rules I’ve refined over years of trial and error. This isn’t exhaustive, so hit reply if you have a rule that’s changed your life. I’ll add it to the list!

Important: You don’t need to implement all/any of these. Pick what resonates, disregard what doesn’t. But make it yours. The goal is to take back control, not create a rigid system that stresses you out.

Hope this helps! Here’s to a 2026 where we reclaim our time 🔥🐦‍🔥

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Calendar Rules of the Road

Before jumping into the list, I recommend first embracing strategic selfishness with how you allocate your time.

This mindset shift may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s necessary. Your time is very important.

If it helps, repeat this affirmation: “As the leader of this [team][family][community][myself], I must be intentional and strategic about how I allocate my time.”

When you honor your time, you honor your leadership.

Let’s jump in:

1. Protect Your Monday Mornings (Magic Mondays the antidote to Sunday Scaries)

• Rationale: no one wants to start the week with an onslaught of meetings (if you can help it). IMO early morning Monday meetings can amplify the Sunday Scaries (feelings of dread re: the upcoming week) and start the week with undue stress, which isn’t healthy. A better alternative is easing into the week, feeling organized, and ready to go.

• How to implement: Block 9am–12pm (or whatever time block makes sense for you) every Monday as sacred prep time. This is time to review emails, craft to-do lists, conduct weekly planning, time for exercise, etc.

• Do not calendar over this time: treat it like a standing executive meeting. Create a recurring calendar invite so you remember the block and only schedule over this time for REAL exceptions. 99% of the time, the person who wants the meeting can wait until noon if you press.

2. Bookend Your Travel

• Rationale: Having a packed day of meetings right before or immediately following travel often increases stress, decreases focus, and leaves no room for prep or recovery. No SPACE.

• How to implement: Clear your calendar the day before and the day after travel whenever possible. This gives you time to wrap up loose ends, prep for the trip, or settle back in without rushing. Use this time for planning, light admin, or decompressing.

3. Set Your Call Hierarchy

• Rationale: Not all meetings are created equal. When everything is urgent, nothing is. Therefore, we need a prioritization structure to minimize calendar chaos.

• How to implement: Define tiers based on your role and specific needs. Here’s an example below to get you started, but I encourage you to define your own:

  • Tier 1: Revenue-generating/client calls » definitely schedule; squeeze them in whenever possible.

  • Tier 2: High-priority internal meetings » schedule quickly, but work around your protected time.

  • Tier 3: Networking, exploratory, or “nice to have” meetings » batch schedule these (e.g., doing 3-4 on one day) during less busy weeks or at a certain time (e.g., every first Friday of the month).

4. Batch Meetings

• Rationale: Context switching kills productivity. Grouping similar types of meetings together makes you more efficient and helps you conserve energy.

• How to implement: Designate certain times or days as specific meeting type days. For ex: Tuesday = internal calls and 1:1s; Wednesday = client calls.

5. Add Buffer Time After Strategic Meetings

• Rationale: Important meetings often run long, require follow-ups, or simply drain your energy. Without a buffer, you risk being mentally foggy in your next meeting or missing follow-ups altogether. Also, my favorite hack after an important meeting is to immediately brain dump + capture my thoughts about what happened, what’s next, etc. I can’t do that if I’m always rushing to the next call.

• How to implement: Add 15-30 minute buffers after high-stakes or strategic meetings (for ex: pitches, client calls, exec check-ins). Use the time to capture notes, send recap emails, or take a short break. You’ll feel more grounded and less rushed.

6. Carve Out Weekly “Grind Time”

• Rationale: Post-COVID many of us are constantly in back-to-back meetings, often leaving little room for actual work to get done outside of late nights and weekends, which isn’t always great for our personal lives. Deep focus time aka time to actually get work done can become a rare and precious resource unless it’s scheduled intentionally.

• How to implement: Choose a day with fewer recurring meetings (Wednesdays or Friday afternoon often work well) and block off 2–4 hours for heads-down work each week. Label it clearly and protect it as non-negotiable time. This is time for writing, building, reviewing strategy, or making thoughtful decisions - not for meetings.

7. Schedule Breaks

• Rationale: If you don't proactively block time for breaks, they won't happen. You'll end up working straight through: skipping meals, going hours without moving, back-to-back meetings with no breathing room. Dehydrated af.

• How to implement: Schedule breaks on your calendar. For ex: 30 minutes for lunch, 15 minutes mid-afternoon, 10 minutes between meeting blocks, etc. If necessary, mark them private to avoid people seeing "break" on your calendar. You can set them as recurring blocks or add them each morning based on your schedule - whatever actually gets you to take the break.

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Want Support With This?

Struggling with boundaries, time management, or feeling like you’re succeeding at work but losing yourself in the process? That’s exactly what I help my clients navigate.

I currently have 2 spots available for 1:1 coaching starting in February. My 3- and 6-month programs include biweekly sessions, weekly just-in-time coaching for urgent situations, and Human Design insights tailored to how you’re actually wired.

You can learn about my coaching programs here or schedule a free 30-minute discovery call to learn more.

Schedule Discovery Call

Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Happy New Year! I hope you had a great holiday season and smooth start to the year.

It feels so strange saying ‘2026’ - wasn’t it just 2016?! Kids born in the 2000s are almost thirty and I cannot compute. 🫠

Jumping right in: two weeks ago we reflected on 2025: everything that happened, the good and the hard. You can catch up here.

Today is part two: visioning for 2026.

I've broken this into two parts: universal questions for everyone, plus specific questions based on your Human Design Energy Type to design a 2026 that feels deeply aligned and specific to you.

How to approach: you can write, type, or voice memo your answers. You can do this exercise solo or in a group with partners, friends, loved ones. These are also great group questions for dinner parties.

📩 Self-coaching hack: Schedule-send yourself an email with your answers for December 30, 2026. Future you will appreciate the built-in year-end review.

Subscribe now

Your 2026 Vision

1. What are your 3 Commitments? What are you unequivocally saying YES to in 2026?

Not goals, not wishes - commitments. What are you absolutely, non-negotiably saying yes to in 2026? What matters so much that you’ll protect it fiercely? For example:

• I am committed to building a beautiful life

• I am committed to maintaining a meditation practice

• I am committed to finding a new job

2. What are three experiences you want to have in 2026? Big or small.

Not goals, not achievements - experiences. The moments, adventures, etc, that would make 2026 feel rich and full. These could be:

• Travel (a specific destination or a way of traveling)

• A creative project or performance

• A celebration or gathering

• A physical challenge or accomplishment

• A learning experience

• Quality time with specific people

• A sensory indulgence or pleasure

• A ceremony or spiritual experience

Don’t censor yourself. Write down what you want, not what seems “realistic” or “responsible.”

3. How do you want to invest in yourself in 2026?

Self-investment isn’t selfish, it’s how you stay resourced, inspired, and alive. When you invest in yourself, you show up better for everything and everyone else. Put your mask on first.

Look at the dimensions below and ask yourself: Where am I hungry for more? Where have I been depleting myself? What investment would feel like true nourishment?

In 2026, I want to invest in myself…

• Creatively: New art form, creative project, expression

• Selfishly: Small indulgences that make you feel good

• Selflessly: Being of service, giving back

• Physically: Health goals, movement

• Socially: Tribe, community, deeper connections

• Spatially: Living space, work environment, changing cities

• Stylishly: Wardrobe, personal expression, aesthetic refinement

• Solitude: Alone time, retreats, sacred space

• Spiritually/Mentally: Therapy, mindfulness, personal growth

4. If you had to name your season in 2026, what would it be?

The name of your season is a vibe, a north star, a filter for decision-making. It’s the energetic signal helping you stay aligned.

Look back at your answers to questions 1-3. What word or phrase captures the essence of what you’re striving for? For example:

• The Season of Growth

• The Season of Yes

• The Season of Boundaries

• The Season of Receiving

• The Season of Radical Rest

5. What is your ideal morning routine in this season of life?

Not what you think you “should” do. Your actual ideal morning—the one that sets you up to feel grounded, energized, and aligned for the day ahead.

Even if you’re not a morning person - how could you best start your day?

6. What is one boundary you need to set or reinforce in 2026?

Boundaries protect your energy and time. What boundary would create the most peace or freedom for you? Who do you need to set it with? What would it take to actually enforce it?

7. What does rest and solitude look like for you in 2026?

How do you want to rest? How can you build more spaciousness into your life? More alone time?

If possible, list a few options based on the amount of time you have available. For example:

• If you have one hour → nap or walk

• If you have an entire weekend → solo beach vacation

8. What’s one skill or area of mastery you want to develop?

What capability would make you feel more confident, competent, or creative? This could be professional (public speaking, financial literacy, etc.) or personal (cooking, a new language, working out, etc.).

9. What does ‘success’ mean to you personally in 2026?

Not society’s definition—yours.

If 2026 is a wildly successful year, what would that look like? Feel like? How would you know you succeeded?

10. What are you afraid might happen in 2026? What are you most excited about?

Name your fears. Then name your hopes. Both deserve space. What do you need to support yourself through the fears? How can you move toward the excitement?

Pharrell said: write down all your fears, your flaws, your insecurities, the guilt, the pressures. Look at them on a list. Know they are all distractions.

Saved the spiciest for last! 🔥

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By Human Design Energy Type

Find your Energy Type below and reflect on these questions to align your 2026 intentions with your design. If you read a question for an Energy Type that’s not your own, feel free to answer that question too!

For Generators

1. What do you want to respond to in 2026?

You’re designed to respond, not initiate. What kinds of opportunities, invitations, or situations do you want to show up so you can respond to them? What environments or people tend to bring you the most satisfying options to respond to?

2 How can you honor your energy more sustainably?

You have consistent energy, but that doesn’t mean unlimited energy. How can you use your energy more wisely? What would it look like to burn sustainably—working hard on what lights you up, then resting fully when you’re done?

For Manifesting Generators

1. What multiple passions or interests do you want to weave together in 2026?

MGs are multi-passionate by design. What seemingly separate interests could you combine in a way that feels uniquely you? Where do your various loves intersect? How can you build a life that honors all your interests without spreading too thin?

2. Where do you want to move faster and where do you need to slow down?

You’re the fastest energy type, designed to skip steps when it’s correct. Where do you need to speed up and trust your instincts? And where do you need to slow down because you’ve been skipping steps that actually matter?

For Projectors

1. What do you want to be recognized and invited for in 2026?

What gifts do you want to be seen for? What kind of work or opportunities do you want to be invited into? Recognized for? How can you become more visible in your area of expertise, so the right invitations find you?

2. What environments help you thrive? What community do you need?

Your environment is everything. You absorb energy from the people and spaces around you. The wrong environment will drain you fast. The right environment will energize, inspire, and support you.

What kind of environments (personal and professional) do you need to feel seen, valued, and like you’re thriving? For example: a WFH job so you can walk/rest in between meetings + an apartment in the city; no suburbs.

What community do you need to find, build, or protect access to? Building an intentional community is another way to generate aligned, easeful invitations.

For Manifestors

1. What do you want to initiate and bring into being in 2026?

What wants to come through you this year? What do you want to birth, build, or set in motion? What feels like it’s yours to initiate without asking permission?

2. How can you create more freedom in your life?

Freedom is essential for you. What structures, relationships, or obligations are constraining you? What would it take to create more spaciousness and autonomy? Where do you need to set boundaries to protect your freedom?

For Reflectors

1. What are you noticing and reflecting back to the world?

You are here to be a mirror for collective health and wisdom. What patterns, truths, or insights have you been sampling and observing? What do you see that others are missing? What wisdom wants to be shared via your unique POV in 2026?

2. How can you honor your Lunar Authority and need for time in making major decisions?

You’re designed to wait, sample, and let clarity emerge over 28 days. How can you structure your year to honor this pattern rather than forcing yourself into other people’s timelines? What decisions are you giving yourself a full lunar cycle to sit with?

Wishing you a year of deep alignment, joy, and growth.

Happy 2026! 🐦‍🔥

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January Events

We’re down to the last remaining spots for the ‘Return to You Retreat’ in Mexico!

We’re opening with a transformative ritual to honor what 2025 taught us and get clear on the next chapter we’re stepping into together, plus so much more.

Retreat deets:

• Dates: January 15-20, 2026 (MLK Weekend)

• Airport: Cancun Intl (the villa is ~1 hour away)

• Reserve: your spot by hitting reply!

Check out the magic below:

Learn more about the retreat

The Simple AF Biz Summit: if you’ve ever felt like running your business is way more complicated than it needs to be, you’re not alone.

The Simple AF Biz Summit, a free two-day virtual event designed for coaches, creatives, and entrepreneurs who are ready to make business feel wildly simple, purposeful, and prosperous.

Deets: From January 8–9, 2026, you’ll learn from 20+ incredible speakers (including yours truly!) who are sharing their best wisdom on:

• Simplifying your offers and marketing

• Building systems that actually create freedom

• Scaling with soul, ease, and alignment

I’ll be sharing about Human Design, and you’ll also hear from other powerhouse women in business who are redefining what success looks like.

It’s completely free to attend, and you’ll get 24-hour access to every session. You can also upgrade to the All-Access Pass for lifetime access and juicy bonuses.

Grab your free ticket here.

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Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

In the last two months, I’ve been blessed with the ability to spend time IRL with ~80% of my closest friends and family. It was purely coincidental; a happy surprise and hug from the universe.

In the last two weeks, I’ve also met with all my 1:1 clients - wrapping up the year, taking stock of major milestones and lessons, and preparing for what’s next in 2026.

Guess what each person has in common?

If any of them were asked to sum up 2025, the answer would be: all my life I had to fight!

From the depths of their soul and in Sophia’s (aka Oprah) voice from The Color Purple 😂😂😂😂

How did we get here?! I’m not saying everyone had a trying year, but most of us in this community have experienced a year of immense ups and downs. Myself included.

The Snake Year. Crazy eclipse seasons. Shedding. The ending of chapters and the beginnings of new ones. The entirety of US politics. Massive layoffs. Several generational planets changing signs. War.

This year has been… a lot.

And it can't be summed up with just a polished recap and a one-word intention (which is what I normally do). This year obvi needed something more.

So I challenged myself: what would a more thoughtful approach look like?

If ‘all my life I had to fight’ characterized the vibe, what’s a solid reflection that’s quick (because yes, many of us are still underwater and not on holiday…yet) but also meaningful?

Solution: what are the questions that aren't being asked but should be?

Below I’ve included eight essential reflection questions to help you look back at 2025 with clarity, compassion, and a small dose of ‘clutches pearls’! 😜

How to approach this exercise

I recommend reading or answering these questions today if you can 🔮

Why? Today is the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere: the shortest day and longest night of the year. It's historically been a time for turning inward, reflecting on what's passed, and setting intentions for the return of the light.

Symbolically, it's the perfect moment to pause, look back, and prepare for what's next.

You can write, type, or voice memo your answers. Whatever works for you.

Do the exercise solo or in a group with partners, friends, loved ones. These are also great group questions for intimate dinner parties 😉

Happy introspection and let me know if I missed anything!

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Looking Back on 2025…

1. What were your biggest win(s) and… win(s) in disguise?

Let’s start and ground this practice with gratitude. Sitting in gratitude raises your vibration, giving you a solid shot at approaching this exercise with a more open heart and calmer nervous system.

Listing your wins is a softball question, but identifying your wins in disguise - those events that didn’t feel like wins initially but in hindsight definitely were - is much spicier and interesting. 😈

If helpful, revisit your camera roll or calendar to jog your memory.

2. What were 3 really awesome small moments?

What were some of those small, yet delicious moments you experienced this year?

Like feeling the ocean on your toes? Taco Tuesday with your best friend? Buying a new perfume?

Why list these? Because chasing the big moments is hard, but savoring and seeking out the small moments? Infinitely doable.

3. What were your biggest fights?

Think broadly about the word “fight” - these could be interpersonal fights, fighting on behalf of others, fights at work, fighting for a relationship, fighting yourself.

Where we fight is often where we expend considerable mental and emotional energy.

Be honest but gentle: was the energy you spent on these fight(s) worth what you gained (or lost)?

And the bigger question: is this a fight you want to keep having in 2026?

4. What was your biggest “L” (lesson)?

I like asking about your biggest "L" because too often the lesson is embedded in great loss. But delays and setbacks are a necessary part of the learning process.

If you peel back the layers, what was the biggest lesson you learned this year? In what way did your thinking evolve?

5. If a group of people who loved you were watching the movie of your life, what would the audience be SCREAMING at you to do now? {my favorite question this year}

Maybe you hear:

• leave, leave NOW

• Take the leap!

• Don’t go back!

• Figure out what you want!

• Ask for more!

What would they be yelling and why?

6. How did you invest in yourself? Show up for yourself?

Many of us are excellent givers but struggle to invest in ourselves. So let’s see where you actually showed up for YOU this year.

These can be small or large moments: blocking your calendar for exercise, committing to a new morning routine, getting a coach, therapist, trainer, etc.

Footnote: If you haven’t been able to invest in yourself this year, first give yourself grace because you likely had a lot on your plate, then consider how you’d like to invest in yourself more next year.

7. Where (or around who) did you self-abandon?

Now it’s getting spicy 🔥

What's self-abandonment? It's when you betray or suppress your own needs, boundaries, or values to keep the peace, avoid conflict, maintain a relationship, etc.

Maybe you self-abandon in family or romantic relationships? Around a certain group of friends? When you’re stressed, dehydrated, and tired?

Naming it matters. Awareness is the first interruption.

8. Who were your expanders?

Expanders are the people - strangers or familiar faces -who broadened your horizons this year. The ones who showed you what’s possible. Who made you think bigger. Who raised the vibe just by being themselves.

Looking ahead, how can you attract more energy like that into your life?

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Once you’re done, review your answers and see if you can spot any insights or patterns. For those that leverage AI tools, consider prompting your AI tool of choice to spot any patterns based on your answers plus the chat history.

How did you like these questions? Anything you think I should add? Leave a comment or hit reply and let me know.

Want more questions like this? Check out Steven Schlafman’s *very* comprehensive Annual Reflection Guide.

Looking ahead: in two weeks I’ll share a similar exercise for gaining clarity and direction in 2026.

Wishing you all an amazing holiday season and wonderful new year! Here’s to our rising! 🐦‍🔥🫶🏾

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January Events

Rather do reflection exercises while having your morning coffee by the ocean? 🙋🏾‍♀️ Join my upcoming ‘Return to You Retreat’ in Mexico!

We’re opening with a transformative ritual to honor what 2025 taught us and get clear on the next chapter we’re stepping into together, plus so much more.

Last few spots remain; hit reply with any questions!

Retreat deets:

• Dates: January 15-20, 2026 (MLK Weekend)

• Airport: Cancun Intl (the villa is ~1 hour away)

• Reserve: your spot by hitting reply!

Check out the magic below:

Learn more about the retreat

The Simple AF Biz Summit: if you’ve ever felt like running your business is way more complicated than it needs to be, you’re not alone.

The Simple AF Biz Summit, a free two-day virtual event designed for coaches, creatives, and entrepreneurs who are ready to make business feel wildly simple, purposeful, and prosperous.

Deets: From January 8–9, 2026, you’ll learn from 20+ incredible speakers (including yours truly!) who are sharing their best wisdom on:

• Simplifying your offers and marketing

• Building systems that actually create freedom

• Scaling with soul, ease, and alignment

I’ll be sharing about Human Design, and you’ll also hear from other powerhouse women in business who are redefining what success looks like.

It’s completely free to attend, and you’ll get 24-hour access to every session. You can also upgrade to the All-Access Pass for lifetime access and juicy bonuses.

Grab your free ticket here.

Share

Thank you for reading and contributing to this community. If you found this post insightful, I invite you to like this post or forward it to a friend.

New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Welcome to Afternoon Coffee with Jacques, a cozy corner of the internet where Human Design meets modern leadership. Grab your mugs and let's jump in!

Last week I received this text from a client: “My boss is encouraging me to talk to the department head about my salary ASAP. I don’t think the convo is going to go so well.”

Let’s call this client Nikki (name changed for privacy).

She’s a senior exec, well-liked, and like all of my clients, working hard af. She’s a striver.

But despite her solid performance, her company has been slow to increase her compensation, and even slower in promoting her to the next level. It’s been happening, but at a glacial pace.

New employee, who dis: after this urgent nudging from her manager, she wanted to set up a convo with her department head but felt unsure about how to best approach the conversation.

So she reached out to me and we scheduled a 20-minute just-in-time coaching session the very next day.

🆘 Just-in-time coaching session? Think of it as an emergency coaching SOS. My 3- and 6-month programs include biweekly 60-minute sessions, plus 20 minutes per week of just-in-time coaching when something time-sensitive pops up and they need support asap.

For ex, past clients have used these sessions to:

• discuss performance reviews

• refine pitch decks

• prepare for interviews or conversations with key stakeholders

• analyze job offers

• etc etc

They choose the adventure and I show up ready to support however I can.

During our session, I walked Nikki through my V.E.B. Framework, which is a handy checklist I created specifically for salary negotiations.

The V.E.B. Framework is based on my experience at my last two startups where I got to see both sides of compensation negotiations. First, I supported management in finalizing executive comp packages (at one company, I was basically the HR department for several months). Then I used all that insider knowledge to negotiate my own raises and promotions.

Because once you know how the sausage gets made, you can’t unknow it. So I started coming in guns blazing to these comp convos. 🔫🔫🤠

I’ve refined this framework over the years; with clients and high performers in my network.

I’ve included the framework below. Hit reply with any questions.

I hope this helps secure the bag! 🤑

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Value • Expansion • Benefits

The V.E.B. Framework centers on demonstrating and articulating three core things:

1. the value you’ve provided to the company

2. the expansion of your scope over the past year (if any)

3. the full benefits package you’re asking for (salary is just one component)

Let’s break this down:

V - VALUE DELIVERED

Full stop, this is the most important component.

Hard Truth: Companies often don’t care about your seniority or what your coworker makes. Arguments like “I’ve been here for 5 years” or “Jim Bob makes $XYZ” sometimes falls flat.

You know what companies do care about? Making money. The most bulletproof way to approach your salary conversation is by building a business case.

Corporations literally have a fiduciary duty to maximize shareholder returns so lean into that and speak their language. Because at the end of the day this is business.

Key question to consider: What measurable impact have you delivered over the last year?

You can show them your impact two ways: quantitatively and qualitatively:

Quantitative (The Numbers)

Why this matters: Numbers are undeniable. They show concrete ROI and make it harder for leadership to dismiss your contributions. When you can tie your work directly to key business metrics (e.g., revenue, savings, growth, etc.) you’re speaking the language executives understand.

Every business is different, but here are some example metrics you can highlight:

• Revenue generated, increased, or protected

• Cost savings or efficiency gains

• Growth metrics (users, clients, market share)

• Time saved (for team, leadership, operations)

• Risk mitigated (compliance, legal, operational)

Key Language: “I contributed to...”, “I drove...”, “I delivered...”

Examples:

• In the past year, I generated $10m in incremental revenue

• In 2025, my [new process] saved the company $100K in fees

Qualitative (The Intangibles)

These are the contributions that don’t show up on a spreadsheet but absolutely move the needle. For example: mentorship, cultural impact, innovation, collaboration, reputation building, etc.

Why this matters: Not everything can be quantified, but that doesn’t make it less valuable. Qualitative impact shows the ripple effects of your work. These contributions build long-term value and are often what actually separate top performers from the rest. Don’t sleep on this section.

Examples you could highlight:

• Leadership abilities contributing to cultural impact and team morale

• Mentorship and knowledge transfer

• Cross-functional collaboration improvements

• Innovation in processes or approaches

• Reputation enhancement (internal/external)

• Feedback from leadership, peers, clients

Key Language: “I strengthened...”, “I led...”, “I improved...”

Examples:

• I mentored two new team members and served as committee member for the Women’s ERG

• These partners celebrated my work by saying… if you can include screenshots or quotes from those partners, include them! Make that sh** undeniable.

E - EXPANSION OF SCOPE

This is where you demonstrate you’re already operating at the next level - whether that’s formal or informal. This section won’t apply every year, but when it does, it’s powerful.

Here’s the reality: too often, we’re already doing the work of the next promotion without the title or the pay. So make that case explicitly.

Key question to consider: How are you performing beyond your original role?

Where to look for expansion:

• Deepening: Taking on more complex, strategic work

• Broadening: Contributing across departments or new business areas

• Innovation: Introducing new ideas, processes, or initiatives

• Leadership: Formal or informal leadership responsibilities (even without direct reports)

• Strategic Thinking: Moving from execution to strategy and vision

Key Language: “I’ve expanded my impact by...”, “I’ve taken ownership of...”, “I’ve pioneered...”

Critical Distinction: This isn’t just “doing more work” - it’s demonstrating how your role has evolved and why your current compensation no longer reflects your actual contribution.

Examples:

• My idea to expand to this new line of business resulted in…

• I’m managing [people, processes, etc], which is an expansion of my role

B - BEYOND SALARY

Your base salary is just one part of your compensation - it’s the most visible, but it’s not the only component.

There are multiple levers you can pull beyond salary, and some may be easier for your company to approve than a straight base increase. Thinking holistically gives you more leverage and more ways to get what you want.

Key question to consider: What’s the full compensation package you’re seeking?

What all can you ask for?

• Base salary increase (your anchor)

• Title change/promotion

• Bonuses

• Equity/stock options

• Additional PTO

• Healthcare upgrades

• Education/professional development budget

• Executive coaching stipend (holla at your girl!)

• Flexible work arrangements

• If something isn’t listed, hit reply so I can share with this community!

How you could approach this strategically:

• Know your priorities (what matters most to you?)

• Create tiers (must-haves vs. nice-to-haves)

• Build in trade-offs (if not X, then Y)

How you could structure this conversation

1. Start with VALUE

• Lead with 2-3 quantitative achievements

• Follow with 1-2 qualitative impacts

• Connect each to business priorities

2. Highlight EXPANSION

• Outline 2-3 ways your scope has grown (if applicable)

• Show how you’re operating beyond your current level

• Demonstrate future trajectory

3. Outline ideal BENEFITS

• State your compensation expectations clearly

• Present as a package, not just salary

• Be specific with numbers/percentages

My two cents: I recommend not mentioning:

❌ Personal financial circumstances

❌ Personal life changes (mortgage, family, etc.)

❌ What you “need” to make

❌ Comparisons to peers based on gossip

❌ Threats or ultimatums (unless you’re genuinely prepared to leave)

Why? Your compensation should reflect your value to the business, not your personal situation. Keep the conversation professional and business-focused.

Disagree or have questions? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏾

Leave a comment

Getting together IRL

In search of a reset? We’re down to our last spots for the upcoming ‘Return to You Retreat’ in Mexico. If you’re looking for space to unplug by the ocean, be pampered, and connect with other amazing women, this experience is for you!

Retreat deets:

• Dates: January 15-20, 2026 (MLK Weekend)

• Airport: Cancun Intl (the villa is ~1 hour away)

• Rooms Available: Penthouse suite and shared room with Queen bed

• Reserve: your spot by hitting reply!

Check out the magic below:

Learn more about the retreat

Seeking clarity going into the new year? For a limited time, I’m opening up 60-minute coaching intensives - something I typically reserve for existing clients only. Perfect if you want a co-pilot to:

• strategize your next move

• prep for a big conversation

• go deep on your Human Design

• work through a specific challenge

Not ready for a 3- or 6-month commitment? This is your chance to get targeted coaching without the full program investment. It’s also a great way to experience my coaching style if you’ve been curious 😉

Book your sessions here.

Here’s to our rising! 🐦‍🔥

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New posts arrive every other Saturday. You can browse the complete archive here, and I invite you to connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

With love until next time,
Jacques

Sequel to last Saturday’s newsletter. You can read part one here. Paid subscribers get the full deep dive below.

Last week I shared some of the highlights from our Mexico retreat earlier this year: the magic moments, the breakthroughs, the beautiful feedback I received.

But what about the hard lessons? The challenging times? The moments that made me question if we could actually pull this off? 🥵

Building out in the open: In addition to sharing wins, I also want to shine a light on the challenges. In particular, what I wish I’d known before planning my first retreat.

I’m trying to get in a better habit of sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of building a business - not just retreats, but my entire suite of services.

Because as I grow, we grow.

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What I Wish I’d Known

1. The hardest part about hosting retreats

Is not finding the perfect house, hosting it at the right time, or coordinating excursions, etc.

The hardest part about hosting a retreat is sales.

Some IG guru is probably reading this like: well, if you just did a pre-launch warm up + teaser, followed by 4 free masterminds, 2 freebies, and a 10-part email sequence, you’d sell out in 72 hours! Comment RETREAT SELLOUT for more.

Sis, if that’s your actual experience, big props.

But it ain’t mine.

And it’s not the experience of most retreat organizers I know because I’ve flat out asked just to confirm whether or not this was a personal problem lol.

The truth is: you can design the most amazing experience, find the perfect accommodations, source incredible food, line up powerful healing sessions, and it all really comes down to whether or not people are willing to buy.

When I talk to other retreat hosts, getting sales is their number one pain point. And, very transparently, it’s ours too (in terms of what stresses us out the most).

Here’s the trend I’ve observed: In the beginning when you first announce the retreat, you’ll get a few people who are super interested and will pay a deposit right away. Your first-movers.

Tons of folks will express interest but most are slow to actually commit. Which I totally understand because in my personal life I’m a chronic last-minute retreat sign-upper 😅🫣

As the weeks pass by, you’ll get a slow trickle of signups, and then in the last 4-6 weeks you often get a batch of last-minute signups.

Thankfully, we’ve been able to sell out our retreats each year, but it was a nail-biter every single time.

I haven’t found ‘one magic bullet’ to combat this pain point (however, if you have one, please share!) - but I’ve discovered that the following help tremendously:

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