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The List of Five

Life is Difficult

My friend and I were eating breakfast in a Kansas City, Missouri diner early one morning. He was a high ranking officer in the Kansas City Police Department. We had met at a funeral for an employee of the police department who was a member of our church. It was the first of a number of breakfasts that we would share together that year.

After breakfast, he drove me through several neighborhoods, showing me parts of Kansas City that I had never seen before. He told me stories of good people and not so good people. One story was about an older man who was a regular morning customer at this diner and had experienced some real heartaches.

Life is difficult for so many. During the years in which I served a church as a minister, I witnessed again and again people attempting to navigate hard times:

• Living from paycheck to paycheck and even experiencing devastating financial losses.

• Losing a job. The financial uncertainty and the blow to one’s self-worth can be so painful.

• Serious illness. Charlotte’s younger brother, Chris, was in Vanderbilt Hospital for a month before his death earlier this year. During this time, I was struck by how many families were at the hospital every single day to care for a loved one.

• The death of a child. Whether one’s child is an adolescent or an adult, it is so excruciatingly hard for a parent to bury a child.

When my life is difficult, I have resources at my disposal:

1. God Will Be With Me. Often I find myself clinging to these precious words, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). God will be at work!

2. A Good Friend Can Powerfully Bless Me. Some of the great resources of God come through good friends. You can go through difficult times and God may use a friend to stand by you, be with you, and in some sense be present with you.

Thank God!

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If Not Now . . .

James Clear, in his newsletter “3-2-1” (September 17, 2026) wrote a very simple sentence that has made me think.

“If not now, when?”

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “One day, I’m going to be a certain kind of person.” One day.

Yet, James Clear makes a great point - “If not now, when?”

• Do I want to be more devoted to Jesus - each day? If not now, when will I do this?

• Do I want to be a more selfless husband? If not now, when will I do this?

• Do I want to take better care of my body, my emotions, and my thinking? If not now, when will I do this?

• Do I want to be a better steward of my finances? If not now, when will I do this?

What is a small step I could take today that might help me make progress toward something important in my life?

A number of years ago, I was speaking on the campus of Oklahoma Christian University. At one point, during a presentation in a small chapel, Dr. Evertt Huffard, (longtime Dean of Harding School of Theology) walked into the room. We talked for a few moments afterward mostly about family and our respective ministries. I recall saying to him several times, “One day I would like to . . . “ Finally, Evertt said to me, “Jim, I think this is one day.”

He was right. I needed to focus on what I might do today, instead of thinking that

What about you? “If not now, when?”

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Interruptions

Charlotte and I were in Birmingham, Alabama. That evening we had dinner with our nephew John. We ate at Taco Don Tacos, not far from the University of Alabama - Birmingham campus. We ate, talked, and enjoyed our visit. In the booth behind us were four big guys, who appeared to be in their early twenties. They were eating a lot of food! As we were about to leave, Charlotte asked one of them to take our picture. When he stood up, I saw that he was wearing a shirt with the UAB logo.

I asked him if he played football and he said, “Yes, we play defense at UAB,” pointing to his friends. He graciously took a picture of Charlotte, myself, and our nephew. We shook hands and talked for a few minutes. The conversation was very pleasant.

I was really impressed with this exchange. It reminded me that random conversations really do matter. Sometimes the conversations we may have with others may seem random. They may be unexpected and unplanned. Yet, so often God uses us to bless another person in unplanned encounters.

And - you never know what God might do with something that seems small and ordinary.

Just Checking In (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Dan Anders and I met on the campus of Abilene Christian University. At the time, Dan served as the minister for the University Church (on the campus of Pepperdine University). We were both at ACU there to attend a seminar.

That evening we had dinner together and a long conversation. Dan was older than me and had served churches longer yet he made me feel like I mattered and that my ministry was interesting and mattered. He asked me numerous questions about my life, my family, and my ministry. (We were living in Waco, Texas).

From that point on, we would talk regularly by phone. Years earlier, Dan had served as the minister for a Dallas area church, not far from where I grew up. He enjoyed talking about the area, people we both knew, and some of his memories. He would sometimes talk about challenges he faced in his ministry, as well as some of his health challenges.

Many years later, long after his death, I remember some of those conversations. These memories cause me to think about the conversations I have now with ministers, often younger than myself.

1. Do I show a genuine interest in the person with whom I am talking? Do I ask good questions, displaying a curiosity about their lives/ministry/work etc.?

2. After a conversation, do I follow up with that person? (i.e. - Do I inquire about the surgery they mentioned, the baby they were expecting, etc.)

3. Do the people in my own congregation (perhaps the elders/ministers) where I serve) know that I really care about what they are experiencing in life - both the difficulties and joys?

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Etcetera

1. This podcast was interesting. “The Next Big Idea” - See “How to Become the Most Interesting Person You Know.”

2. Another podcast - “Your Undivided Attention” - See “Can AI Be Built in Service of Life? A Conversation with Krista Tippett.” Thoughtful comments and questions by Tippett.

3. The book is not out yet (projected to be out June 8) but I am looking forward to reading Emma Camp’s No Hard Feelings: The Age of Risk Aversion. (Focused on the GenZ culture.) Camp is a senior newsletter editor at Free Expression (Wall Street Journal). She joined the Journal in 2026.

4. I regularly read Brad East’s newsletter as I interested in what and where he has written. East is a theologian at ACU.

5. An interesting conversation with Matthew Loftus. “Resisting Therapy Culture.” Loftus is a practicing physician in Kenya. He distinguishes in the conversation between the value of therapy practice as a tool for helping someone and a therapeutic culture. I have not read his book but more development of these thoughts can be found: Resisting Therapy Culture: The Dangers of Pop Psychology and How the Church Can Respond.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

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The List of Five

Today

One of the best things we can do is to go before God expressing our true feelings and emotions.

In his book, Daily Office, Peter Scazzero refers to The Cry of the Soul by Allender and Longman. They write about the importance of being aware of our emotions/feelings as we come before God (pp. 24-25):

Ignoring our emotions is turning our back on reality. Listening to our emotions ushers us into reality. And reality is where we meet God . . . Emotions are the language of the soul. They are the cry that gives the heart a voice . . . However, we often turn a deaf ear - through emotional denial, distortion, or disengagement. We strain out anything disturbing in order to gain tenuous control of our inner world. We are frightened and ashamed of what leaks into our consciousness. In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God.

Scazzero notes that David models this in the Psalms (p. 13). For example, note Psalm 62:5-8.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

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My Truest Identity

The other day, someone asked me a simple question:

“So what do you do?”

Nothing wrong with the question. Nothing wrong with the guy who asked me the question.

Yet, I could feel within me a desire to dust off some secondary things from the past and share those. (Some of this desire probably comes from the stage of life I am in right now.)

Adele Ahlberg Calhoun reminds us (Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, p. 89) that we have a way of constructing a false self based on our identity from “secondary things: reputation, success, status, family, jobs, health.” Yet, “Things that can be here today and gone tomorrow provide a precarious mooring for the soul. Our truest identity can never be something we accomplish, earn or prove on our own.”

Calhoun goes on to speak of how Scripture describes our truest selves:

We are:

• chosen (John 15:16)

• beloved children of God (I John 3:1)

• friends of Jesus (John 15:15)

• the temple of God (I Corinthians 3:16)

• God’s work of art (Ephesians 2:10)

• fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)

I want to remember this. I want to remember that the list above describes my truest self. Acknowledging that this is my trust self could make a big difference in how I feel about the one in the mirror.

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The Sports Moment I Watched Again and Again

I love these words from Jason Benetti, the Detroit Tigers' TV play-by-play announcer, during Justin Verlander's final home start on Saturday, September 26, 2026.

“He will leave a legacy on the baseball field but his greatest legacy will live on through that group right there” (i.e.- his family)

Ministry Reflections and Spiritual Formation (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

1. The best thing you bring to a congregation’s leadership and life is your own transforming self (Ruth Haley Barton). This means you must deal with your interior self first.

2. Mature leadership begins with a leader’s capacity and willingness to take seriously one’s own emotional behavior. How a leader deals with his own emotional behavior is a reflection of his own spirituality (See the writings of Peter Scazzero). Something is wrong if I see myself as growing spiritually and yet I regularly display immaturity before the congregation.

3. Ministry which creates a constant state of frenzied activity for the congregation through activity, busyness, and various programs can be a real detriment to our life with God, our marriages, and the health of the congregation. Sometimes a congregation will even pride itself on how full and busy the church calendar happens to be. Yet, something is wrong when the ministers and many in the church don’t seem to have time for their marriages and families because of this pace. This is not sustainable.

4. As a minister/elder, etc. I am not in a ministry to “do things for God.” I am a servant, doing ministry through the power of the Spirit but in a physical body that has limitations. Consequently, I am worthy of rest, care, and healthy relationships. A minister can still display a strong work ethic while allowing for sabbath, rest, and daily replenishment.

5. Generally speaking, a leader’s emotional maturity level really does impact a congregation. A leader may be highly educated, intelligent, and skilled. Yet, immature emotional behavior can greatly impact a leader’s family and the congregation. On the other hand, a leaders emotional maturity and willingness to take responsibility for his own behavior can positively impact one’s family and ministry. This is a reality that I wish I had known, and paid attention to, much earlier in my life and ministry.

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Etcetera

1. I just began reading N.T. Wright’s The Vision of Ephesians and am enjoying this very much. Very refreshing!

2. See this video on the “Empty Nest” featuring Steve Hartman. A feel good video that caused me to stop and remember.

3. I was on the campus of Harding University last week for “Inspire” (the Harding lectureship). I was reminded of how much I appreciate the Harding School of Theology excellent faculty: Dean Peter Rice, Jeff Peterson, Lance Hawley, Matthew Love, Steve Cloer, Keith Stanglin, and Whitney Hammes. I look forward to getting to know their newest faulty members, Ethan Laster and Joshua Marcum.

4. In our Sunday morning Bible class, we have been using Jim Burns’ Doing Life With Your Adult Children. Good for understanding some of the basic principles of dealing with adult children. (A number of specific situations are presented. I might handle a few of them differently than what is presented. Nevertheless, the book was helpful in thinking these through.)

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. If you are interested in working with me in a mentor/coaching relationship, please e-mail me at jmartin9669@gmail.com. I can send you more information.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

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When You Are Weary

There are seasons when I have felt weariness. This seemed to be the kind of weariness where one exhausting moment was stacked upon another. I suspect you can relate to one or more of the following:

1. Weariness comes from seeing a couple, maybe some of your close friends, end their marriage in divorce. This heartbreaking ending can be exhausting.

2. Weariness comes from having a “front row seat” to the long, slow death of a family member or perhaps someone in your congregation.

3. Weariness may be the result of the criticism that comes your way slowly, like a duck nibbling you to death. You want to have thick skin, but this is getting to you. This can be painfully difficult when the criticism comes from family or church members.

4. Weariness may come when your congregation is in conflict and there seems to be no end to the strife and confusion.

5. Weariness might be the result of too many disappointments, too many heartbreaks, and too many broken promises.

Psalm 73 has been particularly helpful to me. The writer said that his feet had almost slipped and he nearly lost his foothold (73:2). He then speaks of how he was eventually encouraged:

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire but you? My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:23-26)

Perhaps a place to begin is in acknowledging your own weariness in seasons like this. The acknowledgment alone can be an important beginning place.

Bone-tired weariness is something most of us are probably going to experience at one time or another. Yet we can be blessed not by the level of our strength but by choosing to trust in God even in the hard moments.

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Consider Encouraging Someone

Each day many of us have the opportunity to encourage another person. Often this can be done through what might seem to be simple gestures. Consider the following:

1. Your smile really makes a difference. God can use you to brighten someone’s day and encourage that person through your smile. Regardless of where you might work, your age, or the season of your life, you can probably find someone to bless.

2. God uses encouragers who are young, old, single, married, wealthy, and those who are just getting by financially. YOU can be used by God to bless another.

3. An encouraging word can make a huge difference in someone’s day. Don’t underestimate the power of a timely word.

4. Encouragement can literally alter the course of someone’s life. Sometimes, it is just a matter of showing up and being fully present with another.

5. You can bless someone simply by pointing out something they said or did that was good, right, or helpful. Far too many people only hear from their critics.

6. An encourager has a way of communicating value to a person instead of focusing on himself or herself. You are basically saying to another, “You matter.”

7. An encourager looks for those who appear to be disconnected, not included, or are on the fringe. At such times, a simple, but genuine, “hello” may go a long way.

8. Sometimes, encouragers simply pay attention to another and are not only focused on his/her own feelings, desires, or preferences.

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Five Ordinary Ways to Bless Another

You can bless someone today in very simple ways. These five practices have helped me greatly in my relationships:

1. When you meet someone, write that person’s name down. It doesn’t matter whether you put it in your phone or write it in your notebook. Making an effort to get to know another’s name is often the beginning point in a new relationship.

2. Use the person’s name in conversation. Hearing yourself say the person’s name may actually be helpful toward remembering it.

3. Pray for that person. The very acting of praying for another can help you feel more connected and engaged with that person.

4. Send a simple text or email. “I enjoyed meeting you last night” or “I prayed for you today” or “I came across this article by the author you said you liked.”

5. Ask that person, at some point, to tell you more about themselves.

These are simple - I know. Yet, sometimes what can bless another is to be intentional with our interactions.

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Basic Ministry Realities (Especially for ministers and other spiritual leaders)

Consider how some of us function as leaders. The truth is that some of us might be described as good people and yet not function well as leaders.

A few years ago, I wrote the following:

Mature leadership begins with the leader’s capacity and willingness to take seriously one’s own emotional behavior. How a leader deals with his own emotional behavior is a reflection of his own spirituality.

As Christian leaders, you and I can probably point to occasions in the life of a congregation when a minister or an elder has behaved immaturely. Perhaps the minister is preaching one Sunday and in a passive aggressive manner decides to make a few snide inside remarks directed at the elders. Or, perhaps an elder, who is known for teaching a good Bible class, nevertheless is also known as a “hot head” in elders’ meetings. He has, on more than one occasion, called out a particular minister and embarrassed him in front of the leadership group.

My emotional behavior ought to reflect the formation of Jesus’s character in my life. As I take my discipleship seriously, this formation should include my words, tone, and how I manage my emotions.

Etcetera

1. See Matthew Love’s article “Good Expectations” in Christianity Today, May 7, 2026.

2. The one non-digital journal that I subscribe to is the Journal of Christian Studies. The September 2026 issue’s (Vol. V/3) subject is “Instructing in the Faith: Catechesis.” (I particularly enjoyed the interview featuring Holly Allen, Luke Dockery, and Logan Thompson.)

3. I am slowly reading Jon Meacham’s book, American Gospel. Meacham is one of my favorite historians.

4. Winn Collier, the biographer of Eugene Peterson was recently interviewed on a podcast regarding “Pastoral Identity and the Vocation of Presence.” Very good!

5. See Rich Villodas, “Sabbatical Highlights” (August 27, 2026). Gives some insight as to his commitments in life and ministry. Written after his Sabbatical.

6. Note the discussion between former United States Senator Ben Sasse and Chris Stirewalt and Andy Crouch on the podcast, Not Dead Yet. This is a great discussion about technology, idolatry, time, and habits. Very interesting!

7. See Jon Tyson, “The Most Important Lesson I Learned Driving 11,300 Miles Around America on My Motorbike” (September 6, 2026).

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

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The List of Five

Why I Began Writing These Encouragement Notes

I began writing these “Encouragement Notes” on January 20, 2020. Now, this is issue #150. In each issue, I hope to bless, encourage, and in some way to brighten your day.

Regardless of your background or the stage of life, I assume that like many of us, you are just trying to navigate life. Whether you are single, married, a parent - in your 20s, 40s, or 60s, at times navigating life can be a real challenge.

There is also one section in each issue that has church leaders in mind. I hope to encourage and in someway be helpful.

Most issues also have a section called, “Etcetera.” This is typically a list of resources such as podcasts, videos, books, articles, etc. I have either read, heard, or watched these and found them interesting. These are not necessarily recommendations. Rather, I am simply communicating materials that have helped me think.

I am grateful you subscribe and even more grateful that you read these Encouragement Notes.

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Before You Text

Texting doesn’t take long. It is a quick form of communication. Texting can be very helpful in sharing a quick piece of information:

• How much does something cost?

• Can you remind me of her name?

• What is the address of that business?

While this is a convenience, it can also be a challenge. Texting can also be used in ways that are not that helpful. For example:

• A daughter is angry at her mother. She angrily texts a paragraph of raw negative emotion to her mother.

• An employee texts his immediate supervisor. He asks about a particular company policy. In the text, he makes several snide and demeaning remarks about the company’s CEO.

• An elder in a congregation texts a minister regarding a member of the congregation who is upset. This particular elder has been out of town much of the week on a work trip. After returning to the hotel one evening, he replies to the minister in a text. It is late, he is exhausted and this text to the minister has an “edge” to it. He clearly is irritated.

Sometimes a text message is a good tool. In other situations, an e-mail may be more appropriate. There are also times when you simply need to talk face-to-face with that person.

May God give us wisdom as we speak to one another in a way that honors him.

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Forgive Me Lord

The music of Gordon Lightfoot has long been among my favorites. Recently I read a biography, Lightfoot, by Nicholas Jennings. Jennings speaks of a song “Forgive Me Lord” that may have been written in the late 70s. (It finally appeared in Lightfoot’s “Songbook” in 1999). Note that the link to the song is from a 2001 concert in Peterborough, Ontario.

The song is an acknowledgment of his sins. Jennings notes, “Lightfoot cites his ‘shame’ and ‘foolish pride’ and asks God to take his hand and lead him to salvation.” (Jennings, p. 184).

[Verse 1]
Make my world a better place to be
Remove these chains and set me free
Give my life one reason to begin
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned

[Verse 2]
Take my hand and lead me as you choose
It seems we ain’t got much to lose
Give this place one season without shame
Forgive me Lord, I’ve sinned again

[Bridge]

I been down on my luck, as a matter of fact
I’ve even been chaste
Drifting along, singing a song
For the whole human race
I been caught in the act, as a matter of fact
I’m even well known
Floating on by with a laugh and a sigh
On the road that leads home
I got no more time left to roam

[Verse 3]
If you love me, take this world and build it as you please
With a little help from the likes of me
Keep it safe from harm and make it pure
Forgive the rich and save the poor

[Bridge]
Like the dust on the wind I’ve been taken again
By my foolish pride
Drifting along, singing a song
That’s how I get by
I been caught in the act, as a matter of fact
I’ve even been chaste
Floating on by with a laugh and a sigh
For the whole human race
I got no more time left to waste

[Verse 4]
If you love me, make my world a better place to be
Remove these chains and set me free
Give my face a different point of view
Forgive us Lord if we run to you

[Verse 5]
If you love me, make my world a better place to be
Remove these chains and set me free
Give my life one reason to begin
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned
Give my life one reason to begin
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned

*****

As I end my day, I can say on so many days, “Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.” I can also say with conviction and gratitude, “Thank you Lord for your grace and for forgiving me today. Thank you for your cleansing because of the cross. May I choose each day to live as an obedient disciple of yours.”

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Maybe You Already Have It

Patton Dodd, in his book, The Father You Get and the Ones You Make, Believe In, and Become writes in the concluding paragraph (p. 222):

Sometimes you look up and see that everything you need is already here. Sometimes you realize that everything you could ever want in this life is sitting around your kitchen table. The table is a summit. The view is spectacular. You can see the curve of the earth. You’re exhausted, and you’re grateful.

Some people go through life thinking that one day when they finally make enough money, get that coveted job, or travel to that exotic place, life will finally come together. Yet, perhaps we already have what we most need.

1. You and I already have a loving Father, the empowering Holy Spirit, and Jesus who died, rose from the dead, and now reigns as Lord.

2. You and I already have certain people who deeply love us. I think of my wife, Charlotte, my daughter Jamie and her husband Cal, and Christine, our daughter who lives here in Memphis.

3. You and I may have sons, daughters, and even grandchildren. By the grace of God, we know what it is to love them deeply and to be loved deeply.

4. You and I are already surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. These are people who have died in the Lord. We look forward to one day seeing them again. This may include our grandparents, our parents, and perhaps our spouse or children.

Consider what we already have. What we already have may be far better than what we acknowledge.

Etcetera

1. Curtis Chang interviews Andy Crouch regarding AI and its impact upon all of us. A very thoughtful and insightful interview. See “Defending the Human Mind in an AI World.”

2. I love these words by Dolly Parton - “I take myself more serious as a songwriter than anything else, and if I had to give up every other part of the business, I would choose to be a writer. Because that’s my therapist. My guitar is my friend. Anything that I feel, that I’m going through…. Everything is a song to me.” (Thanks to Austin Kleon)

3. I am reading Jared C. Wilson’s Pastoral Mentoring: For the Care of Souls. This book is not exactly what I expected but I am being blessed through reading this. Says much about mentoring someone within the context of a congregation.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

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The List of Five

Circling Back to a Story

I often tell particular stories that are very precious to me. I have told some of these stories for many years in sermons, talks, and speeches. Many of these stories are autobiographical. These stories often take me back to the center of who I am.

My own stories may speak of the value of authenticity, the need for encouragement, and what might go on in the heart of a person. They may reveal much about the heart of God.

One mentor, Lynn Anderson, said that stories can often go places within a person where explanation and information alone cannot go. They can go straight to the heart of another. They often carry truths that are highly significant. Jesus himself told stories that to this day are told and re-told because the truths they carry are so important. Consider the story of the “Prodigal Son” (Lk. 15:11-32) or “The Good Samaritan” (Lk. 10:25-37).

One story I have told repeatedly concerns my dad, who grew up in Granite, Ok. on a farm during the 1920s and 1930s. One day, my Grandpa Martin was doing some work in the barn and a hot cinder flew into his eye. He was taken to the hospital. In the meantime, the crops were ready for harvest. My dad was twelve years old.

My dad knew that it was up to him to gather the harvest so they would have money for the winter months. He worked hard, harvesting their crops. In the evenings, after the area farmers had finished their own harvesting for the day, they came to my Grandpa’s land and helped with the harvest.

Finally the harvest was done and my grandpa was released from the hospital. He lost sight in the injured eye. My grandpa was not very expressive, but when he saw that the crops had been harvested, he told my dad that he did a “great job.” Again, my dad was twelve years old but he said many years later that those words still meant so much to him.

During much of my boyhood, I wrestled with many of the same insecurities that my dad and my grandpa experienced in their lives. I lacked confidence in so many areas. Like my dad, I also held on to affirmations that I received through the years from various significant people in my life. Encouraging words have meant so much to me and for many years I have felt called to encourage others.

Do I regularly circle back to some of the same themes? Yes. Do I repeat myself? Absolutely, yes! Yet, rather than apologize for this, I think this is simply the way God often uses me in the life of another.

What are the themes and truths that you often circle back to?

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Consider the Memory of Another

I love the following quote from Jules Verne in Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea:

I ask no more than to live a hundred years longer, that I may have more time to dwell the longer on your memory.

There are days when I wish I could have conversations with people whom I have known but have since died.

1. There are days when I would like to have conversations with my mother and dad. I would like to know more about their upbringing, their longings, and their faith. How did you decide to move in 1954 from Little Rock to Dallas? What was most difficult for you as parents? You really valued Christian education. What are the roots of these values? What do you wish you had done differently as parents? In particular, I would like to thank them. One regret I have is not expressing gratitude to them for what they did right.

2. I would like a conversation with my paternal grandparents. I would like to ask “Grandpa and Grandma Martin” about life in Granite, Oklahoma during the depression. How did you raise your three boys during this time? What was your prayer life like? How did you decide to move to Searcy, Arkansas all the way from Greer County Oklahoma? I would like to ask my grandmother what it was like to teach at Harding Academy during the mid 1950s? What did these children talk about? What were their hopes and fears?

3. I would like a conversation with mentors and influencers who have now died and have gone on to be with the Lord. I would like to thank Lynn Anderson for spending so much time with me and for blessing me with generous words of encouragement. I would like to tell Charles Coil (my father-in-law) about how one conversation with him, as a young man, altered my life. I was wrestling with where to go to graduate school. He and I were talking about this when he said, “Jim, you can do most anything you want in the future. You have a lot of ability.” I heard these words and then it registered with me - He really believes what he just said!

4. I would like to ask James Long (a shepherd at the Hawn Freeway Church in Dallas) about what he saw in me as a struggling college student when I visited the congregation in the 1970s. He was so attentive and encouraging. Finally, I would like a conversation with former teachers/professors such as Tom Olbricht, Harold Hazelip, and Paul Faulkner. I would love to talk with them about my life and ask about their thinking.

Of course, I realize that there will be a day in which I see these people again. Yet, at times, I have these longings for conversations now.

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Remember You Are Alive

Kate Bowler interviewed author Ann Patchett on her podcast. At one point, Patchett said the following about life:

The question isn’t “how long will you live?” The question is, “Whether or not you can remember that you are alive?”

Many of us focus on how long we will live. Some seem to constantly talk about “getting old.” Yet, what is significant is not whether we are young, old, or somewhere in-between. A Christian can hear Patchett’s comment and understand that this has a particular significance.

Every Christian is called to remember that we are alive in Christ. THIS is what really matters.

Being alive in Christ means we can be fully alive regardless of our age, our physical condition, or whether or not our lives reflect material success.

Life in Christ is often experienced and expressed in small, ordinary moments.

• Breakfast with a good friend. When I get together with my friend, we seem to pick up in the conversation where we left off before.

• Coffee with one of the elders in our congregation. He is such a good listener!

• Playing with my grandchildren in the morning while they wait on their mother and dad to begin the drive back to Oklahoma.

In Christ, I am fully alive. The past is gone. The future is not yet. The present is now and is a gift of grace.

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Sustainable Ministry (For ministers and other church leaders)

Recently I read Margaret Marcuson’s excellent book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead (and When to Nap). Marcuson is a longtime ministry coach/consultant who has written this fine work based on Family Systems Theory or Bowen Family Theory.

I love the following paragraph as she reminds the reader that some of the same principles that are helpful in ministry are also helpful to parents:

If you have children, the best thing you can do is work on yourself in the context of your family. This can keep you from getting overly focused on your kids in a way that doesn’t benefit them. It can help you be part of passing along the strengths and short-circuiting at least some of the negativity that all families have. If you don’t have children, the work is a contribution to the following generations in your wider family.

Too often we parents get overly focused on our children (regardless of their age) and our thinking becomes, “If I could just get him to change then everything would be good again.” Yet, Marcuson is correct. “If you have children, the best thing you can do is work on yourself in the context of your family.” One of the most powerful things I can do as a parent is learning to manage myself. In other words, I need to address my own functioning as it relates to me as a parent.

Marcuson goes on to say,

And a systems approach means this: If you change yourself, something changes in the relationship.

What does this mean in a ministry context? When I consider my relationship to the other ministers, the elders, or the rest of the congregation, I need to first address my own functioning, my attitude, and my thinking. I find this tremendously helpful.

Etcetera

See this article, “Joyful Anyway,” by Kate Bowler from Life and Leadership, April 14, 2026. This is an excerpt from her book by the same title.

I have been reading The Road to Wisdom: On Truth, Science, Faith, and Trust by Francis S. Collins. An excellent book!

Trevor Hudson has written an excellent piece entitled, “What I Miss Most in the Spiritual Formation Conversation.”

Alex Vadukul has written “Too Many Books?” (New York Times, July 9, 2026). The pictures of 10,000 books in a NY studio apartment are worth the read. (There may be a paywall).

Adam Grant has written a thoughtful post, “There’s More to the Mental Health Crisis Than Smartphones and Social Media.”

You might enjoy “The Last Museum.” Basically this is a search engine for art -(6,308,174 artworks).

Excellent article - “How Can the World Eliminate Violence Against Women?” in Church Times by Sarah C. William (November 22, 2024). Regarding the work of Josephine Butler.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(Unsplash - Jon Tyson)

The List of Five

Get Intentional With Memories

It was March, 1988. My grandma Burks had just died. At the time, we were living in Florence, Ala. We drove to Monticello, Ark. and checked into the Hampton Inn. We then drove to the white frame house, set off Arkansas Highway 4 (later became Highway 278), with the sweet gum trees in the front. For many years, my grandparents lived here.

When we arrived at my grandparents’ house, it seemed so empty. After all, my grandpa had passed away, years earlier in 1969 and now with my grandmother’s death, the house was empty. The house would probably be sold in the near future. I knew this was probably the last time I would walk on their land and see the familiar sights that I experienced as a child.

I grew up in Dallas, Texas. When I was growing up, we would usually make two trips to Arkansas every year. One trip was at Christmas and the other was in the summer.

I loved going to my grandparents’ house. My grandpa drove a pick-up truck and worked for a lumber company. My grandparents had a tractor, chickens, and a vegetable garden. They had a barn and a shed. For a kid like me, who grew up in the city, this was so much fun!

The death of my grandma marked the ending of the memories made with my grandparents that had been so important to me as a child.

Lately, I have been thinking about the importance of making intentional, meaningful memories for my family. These memories don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Sometimes, the best memories can occur when I am fully present, thoughtful, and deliberate.

I want to be intentional about making good memories with my spouse, my children and grandchildren. (Grandparents can have a powerful impact on their grandchildren by simply being attentive and engaged with them as much as possible. Our grandchildren are 15, 12, 10, 6, and five months.)

What is an intentional move that you could take either with your spouse, children, or even grandchildren that might bless and encourage?

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A Dead-End Street

Sometimes, the last person that we are willing to extend grace is to ourselves. I’ve noticed that some people who are so hard on other people are also very hard on themselves.

I often encourage ministers to lighten up on the self-condemnation. Measuring yourself and your ministry against others are dead-end streets. Your own worst critic may be your inner-critic. This is not a path to joy or greater effectiveness.

God’s tender mercy is needed by all of us - dads, moms, and even ourselves.

Life is hard at times. You will make mistakes.

Consider the following:

1. Thank God for his grace. He forgives us and cleanses us each day (I John 1).

2. We can be forgiven by others. We can’t demand forgiveness from others. Nor are we to act as if we are entitled to another’s forgiveness. However, we can both forgive and be forgiven by others. This is grace.

3. We need to accept God’s forgiveness and his redeeming grace. I don’t want to be someone who continues to rehearse my sins, my failures, and my blunders. Some of us, instead of focusing on God’s grace, focus on self-condemnation. “What’s wrong with me?” “I am a loser.” “I am such a bad person, etc.”

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If I Could Go Back (For Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Ray Ortlund writes (Eat, Drink, and Be Merry: A Gospel Call to Bold Ministry, pp. 64-65)

“I wish I could go back fifty years. I’d take more chances. Maybe old men like me always feel this way. But if so, it only reinforces the urgency of your moment now. What would you really like to attempt, now while your options are wide open? Want to run for political office, or launch a crusade against the porn industry, or adopt a child out of poverty, or invent an alternative to the addictive smartphone, or hike the Swiss Alps just for fun? What good and bold thing do you long to do, as an offering of thanks to God for his grace toward you? Why not try? If you fail, it’s okay. But try! And give it your best. See what God does with it.”

Choose to Live with Gratitude

You might enjoy the video below. (The message begins at 35:06). The message was preached at the Highland Church of Christ in Memphis on July 5, 2026. I have thinking about Psalm 100 for sometime. You and I can live with gratitude in spite of the obstacles we experience.

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Etcetera

1. I am reading Margaret Marcuson’s new book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead (and When to Nap). Excellent! (If you want a very readable and applicable book which applies Family System’s Theory to ministry, this is excellent!)

2. If you are a fan of Frederick Buechner, you might enjoy looking at this website and the Buechner Review.

3. Some of the newsletters I receive and enjoy include: Austin Kleon (an author and very creative person from Austin, Texas); Shane Parish - Brain Food (often has very good nuggets using few words); Billy Oppenheimer (another Austin, Texas based writer. Often has a post that makes me think.); James Clear (Author of the best selling book, Atomic Habits.

   

   I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

   Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

   I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

   My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

   

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The List of Five

The Fire and What Remains

I’ve never really been comfortable seeing a lot of candles burning throughout a house. Maybe it is because it reminds me of “the fire.”

Our home in Dallas burned in 1974.

I was home from college (University of North Texas - 1974) and gasoline from my car ignited with a flame from our gas dryer in our garage. My mother and brother were inside our house. They managed to get out without getting injured. I was in the garage, where it ignited.

I remember this fire well. It engulfed our entire home. I remember being burned on my leg and my friend “Kip” taking me to the hospital. The fire burned most everything in our house. It destroyed each room, our clothes, our pictures, and most everything our family owned.

A few things it did not destroy:

• The fire did not destroy who we were as a family. Our identity as a family remained.

• The fire did not destroy our memories. It did not destroy our family stories. I can still tell some of these stories many years later.

• The fire did not destroy our love for one another. I went back to college in Denton, Tx. My parents lived in an apartment for six months while their house was being rebuilt. Our family was still intact.

• The fire did not destroy our commitment to Jesus.

Right now, I am reading Peter Kreeft’s book, Before I Go: Letters to Our Children About What Really Matters. The book is about the wisdom he wishes to leave his children and grandchildren.

I have been thinking a lot about this. If our house was on fire, what would I hope would never be destroyed? What memories do I want my children and grandchildren to have even if our house was destroyed?

A few things I hope they will remember:

• I hope they remember my devotion to God, my wife, my children, and my grandchildren.

• I hope they remember that I kept my word.

• I hope they remember that they could count on me.

• I know they will remember how I made them feel when they were in my presence.

• By the grace of God, I hope their memories of my presence gives them life and energy.

What would you like for others to remember?

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An Old Man, His Words, and My Presence

One day I went to our public library. An old man was seated outside the entrance talking on his phone. He held his phone in the palm of his hand as he talked rather loudly. As I walked by, I heard him say the following words:

“I just want to be wherever you are. And - I know you want to be wherever I am.”

I don’t know who he is. I don’t know who he was talking with. However, I do like his words. There is no substitute for being present with the people we love.

Sometimes, when you can’t be present, it helps to at least communicate that you desire to be present. And it may help to know that the other person desires to be present as well.

In order to be fully present, I need to acknowledge that I don’t just bring my “best self.” I am also bringing my fears (“what if I’m not enough?”) and insecurities ( “what if I am lacking?”). I am called to bring all of me, redeemed in Christ.

As a young husband, father, and minister, I often felt as if I had to construct “a self.” I would try hard, work morning and night, and persevere, convinced that I could do this. My life had more effort than grace.

Years later, I found that God’s grace filling my broken vessel offers much more to my presence. God, in his grace, can redeem my “raggedy” self and shape me into someone who can be a blessing.

For this I am thankful to God.

A Boy Who Modeled a Refreshing Generosity

Staying Alive (For ministers and other church leaders)

I’ve noticed that some of us who have served as ministers, pastors, church leaders, etc. struggle to stay fresh in our 40s and beyond. Some have done this work long enough to finally feel like we know what we are doing. Others have developed habits and routines that may have been helpful at first but eventually turned into deep ruts which became stale.

The following are a few suggestions that might be helpful in beginning to address this. This is not an attempt at a quick fix. Rather, these are simply places to begin.

1. Pay attention - Do something you don’t ordinarily do. Pay attention to the detail and get curious. Go to an art museum, an unfamiliar coffee shop, or a breakfast place you don’t normally go to. I once took a class in art history at the Nelson Atkins museum in Kansas City. This was a brown-bag weekly lunch/lecture for area business people. One reason, I took this class was to put myself in an unfamiliar environment each week.

2. Initiate coffee/lunch with a person who interests you. - Perhaps this is an older or younger minister. Maybe this is a business person. I practiced doing this for many years. I would come to the coffee shop or cafe with a few good questions. After the meeting, I made notes as soon as possible.

3. Initiate a phone or Zoom conversation with someone who you might learn from. - I still do this regularly. I ask what these people are learning, or thinking about. I might ask other questions that relate to an interest I know this person has.

4. Pay attention to your physical health. - Go for a walk or run. Work out at a gym. Do something that your health will permit you to do. I go to a gym 4-5 days a week. This has helped me enormously with stress. It also seems to really help with my emotions and energy.

5. Take notes regarding what you might be learning. -- For example, right now I am listing five things per day that I am grateful to God for. This practice has helped me become more aware of what I can be grateful for.

6. Get curious - Recently, Charlotte and I spent a week driving through Kentucky. I have preached in that state a few times, but other than that have spent little time there. We simply went to whatever town or site our curiosity might take us.

7. Finally - If you sense you are becoming stale at this point in your life, talk to someone who seems to have navigated this well. What might you learn from this person?

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Etcetera

1. As I mentioned earlier, I am reading Peter Kreeft’s book, Before I Go: Letters to Our Children About What Really Matters.

2. Are you familiar with Project Gutenberg? (A library of 75,000 free e-books.) At the same time, you might enjoy the Open Library.

3. I’ve mentioned before that I have been reading Allen Levi’s, Theo of Golden. (Many people are reading this book!) This is a good read.

4. I enjoy reading Richard Reeves Substack “Of Boys and Men.” You might benefit from this publication.

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

One Week of Life

My biological clock is ticking and so is yours.

Every Sunday, believers gather to hear the Gospel, and to participate together in the Lord’s Supper. We remember again that our hope is not found in our financial status, our career, or in our appearance on social media. Rather, our hope is found in Jesus as a gift of God’s grace. We are called to live in gratitude as a response to this hope.

So what does my gratitude look like on a Monday afternoon, at a meeting on Wednesday morning, or on Friday evening?

Basically, my gratitude is a way of life:

• Gratitude impacts how I treat people. Gratitude impacts the way I treat my neighbor, beginning with my family. For example, do I show kindness and forgiveness in how I treat others? (Eph. 4:32)

• Gratitude shapes my priorities. My gratitude allows me to steward my time, energy, and gifts toward things that really matter.

• Gratitude can help give me stamina for the hard moments of my life. Gratitude doesn’t remove the difficult seasons of life. However, it gives me the grace to navigate life in difficult and challenging times.

• Gratitude keeps me focused on the glory of God instead of myself. Gratitude means that I live for the honor of God and the good of others.

In the meantime, I am a work in progress and am still learning how to live with gratitude. However, I really want to remember at the beginning of each week what I have been given in Christ. I want my life to reflect my gratitude to Him.

As I read Scripture, pray, and participate in other spiritual disciplines, I remember that by the grace of God, I have a gift I could never earn. I have the opportunity to live with gratitude, instead of feeling entitled or focusing on what I lack.

Mike Singletary, the All-Pro former middle-linebacker for the Chicago Bears said “Everything I have, I have been given by somebody else.”

This begins with what God has given to each one of us in Jesus. We are called to live with gratitude.

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A Lost Ball in Tall Grass

I once heard singer, songwriter Amy Grant describe herself as “a lost ball in tall grass.”

If you have ever played golf, you know the feeling of losing a ball in tall grass. The shot lands in the rough and the search begins.

Years ago, I played golf regularly in the summer, and usually at Tenison Golf Course in Dallas. I remember the early mornings when I looked and looked for that little white ball in the tall, dew soaked grass.

Perhaps you know the feeling. You may have felt disoriented, out of place, and uncertain as to what to do next.

When this happens:

1. Pray for clarity. Pray that you may have the wisdom, patience, and stamina to continue to love God and love others even when you are overwhelmed. Remember the words of James - “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God . . .” (James 1:5).

2. Return to the center. Spend time with the basic truths of Scripture. For me this sometimes begins with remembering the song I learned as a child:

   Jesus loves me this is know

   For the Bible tells me so

   Little ones to him belong

   They are weak and he is strong

   Yes, Jesus loves me.

3. Talk to a few mature, Godly people, who also listen well. Consider someone who has walked with the Lord for many years.

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What My Phone Can and Can’t Do

My phone is an amazing tool. It can do much, especially in the realm of productivity. My phone has my calendar, it enables me to text or e-mail, and can quickly do a search. If I need to pay a bill, I can do this with my phone. If I don’t know where I am, my phone knows.

Yet, I am also grateful for the very timely warnings given by Jonathan Haidt, Jean Twenge and others regarding smartphones and children. I am also grateful for the parents who are looking for opportunities to delay giving a phone to their children.

There are certain things my phone can’t do.

• My phone cannot give me wisdom. It may give me bite size pieces of information, but it cannot give me spiritual wisdom. I’m referring to the kind of spiritual wisdom a man or woman can get from walking with the Lord and living life.

• My phone does not know my soul. All of us are a mixture of blessings, wounds, hurts, etc. As believers we have brought our story to Jesus to redeem for God’s glory and the good of the world. We are invited to participate in the larger story of God’s mission in this world.

• My phone cannot replace my human presence. There is no substitute for being present with another human being. There is no substitute for a warm handshake, a hug, or being in the presence of someone who is shedding a tear or enjoying a laugh.

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The Hidden Stories on Sunday Morning (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

One of the most challenging tasks for ministers, pastors, or church leaders is remembering that every person in the congregation has a different story.

• The single mother worried about the negative spiritual influence her ex-husband might have on her daughters.

• The young couple living above their means and drowning in debt as they struggle to maintain a certain appearance.

• A fifty-year-old man whose cancer has drained his energy and strength.

• A college student, home for summer, is ashamed of some of the choices made while away from home.

• A retiree wondering if his most meaningful years are in the past.

• A couple in their thirties overwhelmed by work, children, and their exhausting schedule.

These stories are very real.

Perhaps real ministry begins as we remember that people are carrying burdens that may be unseen.

A few helpful practices:

1. Be intentional about paying attention to people whose struggles and burdens are different from your own.

2. Pause and imagine someone else’s world. It can be helpful to sit quietly before you pray and reflect on a particular individual or family. “What would it be like to be _________?” “What feelings, thoughts, fears, might this person be carrying?

3. Pray specifically for this person or family.

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Etcetera

1. Like so many people, I am reading Theo of Golden by Allen Levi. Such a very good book. (See Russell Moore’s excellent interview with the author.)

2. “Was Churchill a Serious Artist? This Exhibition Says ‘Yes’ " by Leo Sands, in The New York Times (June 2, 2026). (Maybe a paywall)

3. I enjoyed looking at these: “10 winning photos from the World Food Photography Awards 2026” (BBC).

4. I first heard of this from former Senator Ben Sasse. An interesting study on loneliness from the University of Arizona. See: “Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: A descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.”

5. You might enjoy looking at the “readings” offered by The Trinity Forum. I find it interesting to skim through these readings, some familiar and some not so familiar.

   

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(Unsplash - Nick Fewings)

The List of Five

Listen Up! Your intentions may be showing

Do you (like me) ever find yourself listening to fix someone instead of listening to learn?

Recently I was reading one of Steve Cuss’ emails from his Capable Life series (April 20, 2026). Cuss speaks of a conversation he had with one of his children. He said he could feel the tension building inside. He noticed a shift in the way he was listening as they spoke. He writes:

Listening to learn is the differentiated posture that remains curious and connected. It’s the goal, and it takes practice.

But when we move into listening to fix or listening to defend/hijack, we’re no longer truly listening or connected to the other person. When we’re listening to fix, we often just want to solve the problem. Wanting to help and fix is not always a bad thing, but when we begin offering advice or solutions without fully understanding their perspective, we’re not truly listening, and we’re no longer curious.

Do you recognize these in yourself? I cringed when I read his words “listening to fix or listening to defend/hijack.” Consider the following:

Listening to fix - I have caught myself doing this with my children (both adults). I am listening but without curiosity. Consequently, I am not fully present but am forming a response to what I think I hear.

Listening to defend - When I do this, I listen to defend my own thinking or to rebut what I think I am hearing. Often I can sense a shift within my own thinking and feelings as I become defensive.

Listening to hijack - Maybe you have been in a conversation like this. You tell a couple of friends about your vacation. One person responds with, “That’s nice but you should have seen where we went this summer. Europe was so wonderful!” The conversation has just been hijacked.

I want to listen. I want to listen in order to learn and to understand. This is best done when I have some degree of curiosity. Perhaps I could follow up with questions such as the following:

• What do you mean by __________?

• Say more about _____________.

• How did this experience impact you?

• What did this experience do to your energy?

What adjustments do you need to make as a listener?

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Simple Things Worth a Reminder

1. Be kind to people. Kindness may seem basic but it is what can help deepen relationships with others.

2. When others make mistakes, don’t be that person who is known for being hard on them. Someone is going to break something. Someone is going to forget something at the grocery store. Yet, do I really need to be so hard on that person (my spouse, my child, my parent)? Is this the way I want to be treated? More importantly, is this the way God treats us when we make a mistake?

3. Pay your debts. If you borrow it, give it back. Whether you borrow money, a power tool, a lawn chair, etc., it is important to bring it back without your neighbor, friend, family member having to ask you for it. Far too many people borrow -- and then go silent. I don’t want to be that person.

4. As Christians, we are called to live with gratitude. It is far too easy to live with complaint, or with a spirit of entitlement. (”I deserve to have what others have.”) Some live by constantly comparing their lives to the lives of others. Meanwhile, what a blessing to live with gratitude to God for all that he has done.

5. Serve others. Serve in your marriage, in your friendships, in your community, etc. The culture may be carried away by power, wealth, and status. The Christian, meanwhile, is called to serve regardless of whether you are work, in your church, or breaking break at the table with your family.

These are just a few basics worth thinking about.

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One of the Most Valuable Gifts You Can Give or Receive

Life is often hard. This is reality!

You may be aware of the difficulties your family members or friends are dealing with. Meanwhile, some choose to deal with their challenges without revealing to others what they are grappling with.

Regardless, many of us are blessed greatly by another’s encouragement. This encouragement can be significant. I wrote the following:

Encouraging someone is more than a pat on the back or a positive word given to someone. Sometimes a moment of encouragement happens when we simply notice another. When we are intentional about paying attention and looking for the good in someone, we may find this is much more meaningful to another than we might realize. A word of encouragement, spoken sincerely, can give energy and hope.

I heard my former professor, Dr. Paul Faulkner, speak on a number of occasions about the value of simply helping somebody. He said one of the best things you can do if you are down or discouraged is to help another person.

I’ve found that when I am overly focused on myself, my concerns, my frustrations, and my problems, it can keep me spiraling down, feeling worse and worse.

I want to remember the value of encouraging another or simply helping another. This puts me where Jesus wants me, being a servant to a few people who are in my life today.

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What Keeps Your Church Up at Night? (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

One suggestion I would make to any minister or church leader is to learn to ask good questions of people in your congregation.

On one occasion, I asked a large group of people in our congregation, “What is causing stress in your life right now?” I asked them to give me an unsigned written response to this question. I was so grateful for the response.

These people mentioned health issues, marriage concerns, financial stresses, and sin issues. They spoke about problems with young children and challenges with adult children. Some spoke of grief and loss. Others mentioned a conflict with a friend or family member. It was so good for me to read these responses and helped to curtail some of my assumptions.

You may choose to ask questions over coffee, lunch, or some form of questionnaire. The point is to ask good questions of the people you serve. You may find that your attention becomes more focused and that you become more present.

Etcetera

1. See Old Testament professor Carmen Joy Imes reading list: “Summer Reading List” (May 16, 2026). I find lists like this one very helpful for being aware of new books, etc.

2. You might find interesting this report from the Theos Think Tank in Great Britain regarding attitudes regarding death. See also this series on death by my friend Jim Reynolds, “Dying into the Resurrection.”

3. James Clear: "Learning more will increase knowledge, but only attempting more will reduce fear. The more you try it, the less you will fear it" (February 26, 2026).

4. James Clear: "When you are creating something, you will usually find that once things appear 90 percent done, you are actually about halfway there. But you have to create the first 90 percent in order to see the half that needs to be revised” (May 21, 2026).

5. From the Postanly Weekly, see “15 Tiny Mindset Barriers to Your Best Life . . . “

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(unsplash - Mesut Cicen)

The List of Five

What is Important to a Marriage

Here are three things I believe to be very important, both to the quality of a marriage and to its longevity. Perhaps these are important reminders. (Keep in mind that after 48 years of marriage, I am still learning).

Friendship. As I remember, my wife Charlotte and I first became friends. We spent time together and talked about a variety of concerns. This went on for a long time. This friendship included laughter, lots of questions, and enjoying the presence of one another. After decades of marriage, I realize that this is even more important than I thought in the beginning.

My own transformation. The most powerful thing I bring into my marriage is “my own transforming self” (Thanks to Ruth Haley Barton for a similar statement in her book regarding leadership, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership.)

I am not the same person who drove to his wedding on August 11, 1978. My wife has given to me and I have given to her. Yet, I don’t think I have given her anything more valuable than “my own transforming self.”

Commitment. Marriage is more than the apparent success of our marriage and family. Fundamentally, marriage is about the character of two people who have made a promise to one another. This promise of loyalty, fidelity, and faithfulness, is rooted in one’s character. That character is strongest when we are growing and maturing into the qualities that Jesus reflected in his life.

I realize that much more could be said. Nevertheless, these three have been very important to me.

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Last Time

At the time, we were still living in Alabama. Charlotte and I made the trip from Florence, Alabama to Monticello, Arkansas. We were there for the funeral of my Grandma Burks. She was my mother’s mother and died after a long illness. She was to be buried the next day.

My grandpa, Lee Roy Burks had already died in 1969. Now their house was empty. The white frame house was now empty. The barn and chicken coop were still in the back.

I walked around the house looking at every tree, the carport, and the area where grandma always had her garden. I knew, I would probably never stand on that land again.

Their house and the yard had so many memories for me. For years, I played under the big oak tree with my cousins. As a small boy, I rode on the tractor around the lot with my grandpa. That day I could almost hear the slamming of the screen door that went from the carport to the house. My family lived in Dallas. We would only make the trip to Monticello, two or three times a year. Yet, those memories were very special.

There was something about all of this that I wanted to remember. These memories made up a part of my identity. Yet, these memories were not near as important as the identity that will never, ever leave me.

• I am a child of God.

• I am a son (or daughter) of God.

• I am deeply loved by God and pursued by him.

I love the words of Detrich Bonhoeffer who wrote, “Who am I” in July 1944 while in Tegel prison. (See Letters and Papers from Prison).

Who am I? They often tell me
I would step from my cell’s confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I would talk to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I would bear the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I know of myself,
restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighbourliness,
trembling with anger at despotism and petty humiliation,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
fleeing in disorder from a victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.

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In Case You Wonder (Q and A)

What do you do every day? My mornings are the most structured part of my day. I generally get up at 5:30 AM. This is followed by coffee, my Bible reading, journaling, and prayer. I will typically spend some time reading the news afterward. I generally glance at the New York Times, The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times and ESPN. Sometimes I will read a few articles. Often I simply look at the titles of stories.

Charlotte and I will typically go to the gym to work out at 8:00 AM. We are there for a little over an hour. The gym is about ten minutes away but is an important part of the day.

The remainder of the morning might be spent reading, working on a class or sermon, or writing. Presently, I am writing a book on what it means to be a dad.

The day might include coffee or lunch with a dad or an area church leader. I work with several ministers and non-ministers in an individualv mentor/coaching relationship. This generally means a Zoom call once or more per month with each person. (If this is something that might interest you, please let me know.)

Five Moments of Learning (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

1. Dr. Tom Olbricht’s classes - graduate school (Abilene Chrisitan University). I never had a professor who knew so much about so many areas of life. Tom Olbricht was a significant resource, guide, and mentor.

2. Pastors’ conferences at Regent College (Vancouver, Canada). I also audited a number of summer courses. I will remember hearing N.T. Wright for the first time, as well as hearing Dr. Larry Crabb speak to a packed church one evening. (Charlotte and I sat next to a “sea captain” that evening. That conversation alone was very interesting.)

3. A history of art course at the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum. Never had I realized that an art history seminar could be so engaging. I was disappointed when it ended.

4. Edwin Friedman’s “graduate course” in Bethesda, Maryland.- Friedman, a Jewish Rabbi, was a pioneer in taking Murray Bowen’s Family System’s theory and applying it to ministry and churches. I was honored to be a part of this program for two years just before Friedman’s death.

5. Auditing courses at Midwestern Baptist Seminary and Truett Seminary under professors such as Dr. Hulitt Gloer, Dr. Bill Stancil, and Dr. David Garland. I had already finished earning academic degrees. I was especially interested in listening, learning, and growing. While I took classes with other professors during those years, I especially enjoyed these three professors and the conversations I enjoyed with each one.

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Etcetera

1. Reading lists always interest me. See Ryan Holiday’s Books to Base Your Life On (A Reading List). See also the list by Adam Grant.

2. Charles Duhigg wrote an interesting Substack piece on mentoring that you can find here.

3. This podcast from Regent College (Vancouver, Canada) is an interview with Karen Swallow Prior regarding Flannery O’Connor. Very good!

4. I am about halfway finished with Ray Ortlund’s book, Eat, Drink, and Be Merry: A Gospel Call to Bold Enjoyment. I have enjoyed this book.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

When You See Another

When you consider a particular person, do you look for reasons to think less of that person or do you look for reasons to think more of that person?

In a podcast (A Bit of Optimism), Simon Sinek interviewed leadership expert Don Yaeger. At one point, Yaeger said:

Know that there are people out there looking for reasons think less of someone.

Some people seem to constantly critique and always be looking for a reason to think of someone as “less than.” I remember doing this once with a church leader who frustrated me. I constantly looked for reasons to think less of this person. And of course, I found plenty of reasons.

If I have already decided in advance that I don’t like someone, it is much easier me to find reasons to think less of them. However, if I look for what is good, I am often more likely to find reasons to appreciate that person.

When I meet someone for the first time, I want to look for a reason to value that person. I want to look for what is good, noble, and right about a person. This has a lot to do with my own mindset and attitude.

Whatever I am looking for, I am liable to find. So, what if I were to begin more conversations intentionally looking for something I might appreciate and value?

A Prayer of Blessing

(Perhaps this prayer might bless you today.)

May your heart, soul, and body be ablaze with a passion to serve others in the name of Christ.

May you find strength and perseverance in the challenging moments of life and ministry.

May you find courage in the face of adversity, discouragement, and attacks by the evil one.

May the Spirit give you the power to say “no” to the seductive temptations that might enter your heart.

May you find compassion to feel for the struggle of others.

May you be able to look beyond your own difficulties to come alongside others and be helpful in the challenges they face.

May your life honor the name of the Lord.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

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A Critical Question

There are many questions you and I may grapple with at one time or another. For some these questions might include:

• How can I be successful?

• How can I buy what I want?

• How can my family live the kind of life that other families seem to live? (Often these are families that may be more financially affluent.)

For some people, the question seems to be, “How can I have more?” Yet, “more” is often a trap. For some, it may be more money, a nicer car, a newer model, an elaborate vacation, etc. Yet, this focus on “more” can enlarge the envy in my heart and become a motivation for regular overspending. It can rob us of our peace, our joy, and our contentment.

I recall a season early in our marriage when I seemed always have my eye on something else. Within a few weeks of graduating with the Doctor of Ministry degree, I said to Charlotte, “What if I were to go to law school?” She looked at me and asked a question I have never forgotten:

“When are we going to finally be happy”

(I don’t have to explain to you that the “we” in her question meant “me.”)

Yet, the most significant question that I can ask myself is not how can I get more or achieve something else. Rather, the question is:

What kind of person do I want to be?

• What kind of man/woman, what kind of married/single person, what kind of father/mother do I want to be?

• To sharpen this some - “What kind of person is God calling me to be?” (I Peter 2:9; Eph. 1:4; 4:1; Rom. 8:29-31)

• As a part of this, I might ask, “What are a few small changes that I might make that would begin to move me in this direction?”

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Prepare Yourself to Shepherd (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

You and I prepare ourselves to shepherd by cultivating our hearts, the place where wisdom and character are formed and shaped. This requires being attentive to your own soul.

Shepherding is not a technique, nor can it be reduced to a formal role. One can be in a formal role labeled “shepherd” and still not be shepherding.

We shepherd by first being fully present in Christ with another person. Out of our presence with Christ, we serve and bless that person. We are not simply dispensing information. Rather, we make ourselves vulnerable and step into another’s life.

Out of such a heart, we have the opportunity to function in a shepherding role with people whom God brings our way. Perhaps this begins with the opportunity I have as a parent to shepherd my own children. Those of us who serve churches (whether in formal roles or simply as a part of the body of Christ) will have plenty of opportunities to shepherd. Hopefully, we will allow others to shepherd us as well.

Maybe this begins as we simply learn to pay attention to another. More specifically, we do the following:

1. We guide. (What is the most important thing to you as you consider how to move ahead?)

2. We challenge. (At this stage in your journey, what do you need to learn next?)

3. We encourage. (As you project yourself forward, what do you want to be known for?)

With intentionality, we shepherd a person or a group in a variety of ways. Yet, we are only able to do this by the grace of God and by being attentive to our own hearts and minds.

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Etcetera

1. See “Is Hurry the Great Enemy of Spiritual Life?” The Atlantic, Nancy Walecki (April 18, 2026). A review of John Mark Comer’s book and thinking. Note this paragraph from the article:

In that book, Comer advances the theory that the great enemy of spiritual life is hurry. By this he means not simply busyness: Hurry is a gnawing sense that there is always more to do; a life spent hurtling oneself through each day; a schedule that makes little room for God. Technology has only exacerbated the problem. Comer calls the modern world “a virtual conspiracy against the interior life,” and urges readers to reclaim their focus from the algorithm and shift it toward God.

2. I just re-read Brain Glazer’s book, A Curious Mind Expanded Edition: The Secret to a Bigger Life. I listened to the original edition a few years ago and now have read this expanded version. Such a good reminder of the value of curiosity in conversations.

3. See “Why Great Leaders Ask Questions” by Deb Peppard. (A guest post written in Bob Tiede’s regular newsletter.)

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

You Don’t Forget How to Ride a Bike

Once you’ve learned to ride a bike, usually you don’t forget.

I was about twelve years old when I bought a bike at the Sears Roebuck outlet store on Buckner Boulevard in Dallas. This “outlet store” was a smaller Sears store with some appliances, tools, and bikes. This bike allowed me to ride, with my friends, all over the Pleasant Grove area (Dallas) and explore. In those days, the one warning from my mother was that I not be late for supper. I will never forgot those years or that bike.

Likewise, there are some basic practices with people, learned long ago, that I don’t want to forget.

1. Say “thank you” to other people. Did someone refill my ice tea? Did someone else hold the door open for me? Saying “thank you” and expressing gratitude to others are still important.

2. Consider the interests of others, not just my own concerns, problems, etc. Some people talk on and on about their own problems, their concerns, and their hardships and never really seem to consider that their friend has challenges as well. This person may perceive that everyone else’s life is so much easier than their own.

3. Be civil, listen intently, and focus on understanding another person’s point of view. Perhaps you have been in a conversation where the other person talked about a concern while you attempted to listen well. You may have even asked a clarifying question or two. Then you attempted to express your point of view. The person interrupted before you could finish your first sentence and said abruptly, “There is no way that will work!” I don’t want to be the person who is known for being curt and abrupt when someone else attempts to give their point of view.

   What would you add to these three? What are some behaviors with others that you want to always remember?

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What is Your Default?

My wife, Charlotte, taught school for many years. She primarily taught elementary school though she did teach in several other settings. These settings include a school with many migrant children in west Texas, a Jewish school in Memphis, Tn., and a community college in Kansas City, Mo.

She taught in several elementary schools in Waco, Texas where we lived for 20 years. One day, I came to one of these elementary schools to deliver an item that Charlotte needed. On my way to her classroom, I could hear a teacher yelling loudly at her students as some made their way to the restroom.

I asked Charlotte about this loud yelling. She said, “Generally speaking, some teachers do this when they do not know what to do with their kids. So, they resort to yelling.”

It might be worth asking yourself, “What is my default when I don’t know what to do?” Is my default to worry, to stay really busy, or to fuss at others? For some people, their default might be to get on Amazon and impulsively order items whether they need them or not.

My own default is to stay very, very busy when I don’t know what to do. I rationalize that I may not know what to do but I am busy. Yet resorting to these defaults is not always helpful.

Sometimes what is needed is a break, or to seek the advice from another, or even to pause and consider your options. Yet, sometimes, instead of reflecting on what might we best, we simply resort to a default.

When you don’t know what to do, when you are stressed, what is your default?

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What Was it Like to Be Me?

I have journaled for many years. I’m really not sure why I began this practice. However, these journals (several boxes of them) in some way address the question, “What was it like (in the past) to be me?” Or, I can read my present journal and ask, “What is it like to be me - right now?”

Of course, I don’t expect for you to really care or even have an interest in these questions about me. Once I die, I suspect my family, as a whole, will not have a keen interest in reading these journals. Maybe a person or two in my family might read a few journals but for the most part, everyone will have enough going on in their own lives.

On the other hand, these journals are helpful to me at times in remembering what is was like to be me at certain points in my life.

There are times when I want to remember again:

• What was it like to be me when I was a young husband/father with very small children?

• What was it like to be me when life and ministry were very hard?”

• What was it like to be me when my children were in high school and college?”

As I read these pages, I remember again my blunders, my failure, and my sin. I also remember the grace of God, his faithfulness, and the resilience given me so that I could carry on with life. Sometimes, reading through these pages gives me a clearer perspective my life today.

What about you?

• What has it been like to be you during some of the most formative times of your life?

• What is it like to be you? - right now.

• What do you need from God, given the challenge or opportunity you are facing right now?

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Feed Your Heart, Mind, Soul, Emotions (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

One reality about being a minister or church leader: This is hard work that requires grit, tenderness, and stamina.

This grit, tenderness, and stamina can be enhanced by a commitment to continuous learning.

I am reading David Novak’s How Leaders Learn. In the introduction of the book, Novak speaks about a model of learning (p. 4):

They learn from anybody and any experience that has something new, interesting, or valuable to offer.

They learn to maintain an open, curious mind and positive relationships (because we learn the most from and with other people).

And they learn by doing the things that need doing or that will make the biggest difference.

Of course, Christian people continue to learn from God, spiritual reflection, and years of walking in step with the Spirit. Again, it really helps if we as church leaders are committed to continuous learning.

If you are a church leader, how can paying attention to Novak’s model help to move you forward this year?

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Etcetera

• I have just started two books: Terry Cook’s Lead, Develop, Care and David Novak’s How Leaders Learn.

• See Kyle Strobel - “Fueling Failure and Ministry” (April 6, 2026 - Substack)

• Carlus Gupton has written a very good article - “Leading Above the Noise: Church Leadership in a Polarized Age”

• On the need for clarity regarding one’s purpose. Roman philosopher and statesman Seneca: “If you do not know which port you are seeking, no wind is favorable.” — Source: Letters to Lucilius (Epistle 71).

• ”​​I love this video regarding Nasa Astronaut Viktor Glover (Pilot - Artemis 2)

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Who Blessed You Recently?

Lately, I have been thinking about people who have blessed me in some specific way. These include:

1. Two high school students (friends of one of my grandsons) who talked with me at a baseball game. We laughed at the end of the game as they stood near the concession, hoping the remaining food would be discounted.

2. A high school english teacher in our Sunday morning Bible class who brought me a book of stories by William Faulkner. He thoughtfully remembered our earlier conversation about Faulkner.

3. A young minister who I have been mentor/coaching who remarked about the helpfulness of this to his ministry.

4. A friend who very thoughtfully asked a neighbor for a mower he was discarding. My friend did this with the intention of giving it to my 15 year old grandson who is interested in mowing people’s lawns. He even did some repairs and maintenance on the mower. (This included rebuilding the carburetor!)

5. A couple whom I married many years ago in Waco, Texas blessed me with their joy in an unexpected meeting. I happened to be on the Harding University campus and they were there for the day, as well. Their smiles and delight made my day!

Consider creating your own list. Who have blessed you lately?

Today, Pay Attention to the Simple

I want to remember the following as I begin my day:

1. I need to smile. I want to look for moments that bring a smile to my face and relish this. Sometimes just smiling at someone can brighten their day.

2. Helping to lighten somebody’s load is important. This can be something as simple as offering to take a grocery cart to the rack on the parking lot for someone who has just placed their groceries in their car.

3. Remembering that I’m not the only one with a problem. In fact, most everybody I will see today has a problem. Remembering that others have problems as well this can give me a better perspective on my problem. While it may be tough to navigate through my problem, there are others who also have problems.

4. Moving my body will help. Charlotte and I typically go to the gym five days a week. When I exercise, I typically feel better. Movement can help. You may not go to the gym but a walk around the block or just being outside can make a difference in how you feel.

5. Today, my mindset or my “self-perception” really matters. My mindset impacts the way I feel and even the way I approach life. My mindset is what I believe about myself, my life, and the world. You and I can choose our mindset. Your circumstances do not create your mindset. Rather, you can choose to have a particular mindset given who you are in Christ.

These five simple truths help me each day. Is there one that you might give more attention?

An Apology Remembered

I was a young UPS (United Parcel Service) driver, right out of college. During college, I had been working for UPS, part-time, unloading trucks. At the time, I was planning to go into management with the company. So I began by driving a delivery truck in the heart of downtown Dallas.

One regular stop was a jewelry company in a tall office building at 500 South Ervay St. This jewelry company was a distributor of fairly inexpensive jewelry for women. Typically, I would arrive at this office building in mid-afternoon with packages to deliver. One afternoon, I got off the freight elevator and was in the shipping area of the jewelry company. I was met by the shipping manager who appeared agitated and then began yelling at me. Apparently, he was waiting for a package that had not yet arrived and he was “hot.”

He examined each package, and seemed to get louder and louder. A crowd of employees began to gather around us and watched. Finally, after he finished checking each package, I was able to leave.

The next afternoon, I arrived again at the jewelry company and this time was met at the elevator by two men in suits. They asked me to step into an office with them. I quickly realized that they were in an upper management roles in this company. They each shook their heads and one said, “We are absolutely embarrassed by the behavior of our shipping manager yesterday. This is not the way we do business.”

Years later, I remember the graciousness of these two men. I was a very young man, fresh out of college, wearing a brown UPS uniform. Yet, they took the time to graciously apologize. Their words and their attentiveness meant a lot.

Words and acts of graciousness can go far and may be remembered for many years. Some of the best people in the world are quick to say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t handle that well. My fault.”

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What Matters! (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

Walker Percy, once spoke at the 1983 commencement service for St. Joseph College Seminary. At the end of his address (found in his book, Signposts In A Strange Land, p. 325), he spoke of the opportunities for anyone who would serve in ministry:

The opportunity is simply this: that never in history has modern man been in greater need of you, (and) has been more confused about his identity and the meaning of his life. Never has there been such loneliness in the face of crowds, never such hunger in the face of satiation. Never has there been a more fertile ground for the seed, and the harvest the Lord spoke of. All that is needed is a bearer of the Good News who speaks it with such authenticity that it can penetrate the most exhausted hearing, revive the most jaded language. With you lies the future and the hope. You and the Church you serve may be only a remnant but it will be a saving remnant.

I love these words. Such a good reminder that what we do matters!

Etcetera

1. I enjoyed this very nice article about South Carolina women’s basketball coach, Dawn Staley. “Dawn Staley: National championship contender and NCAA Tournament Fairy GodmotherA Word to Any Church Leader”

2. An interesting piece from The New York Times Style Magazine (February 3, 2026). “How to Make Friends as an Adult.” A very practical article for anyone who wants new ideas for friendship.

3. A very thoughtful article: “How to Bring Christian Spiritual Formation into Local Congregations” (Journal of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care - Vol. 18 (2) 2025, pp. 241-256).

4. Outstanding article by Cal Newport, “Technology Weakens Our Minds: We Can Fix This” (The New York Times, March 27, 2026). (Newport is professor of computer science at Georgetown University and the author of Deep Work.)

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

When Your Title is Gone

What defines you? Perhaps a job title — one that turns heads or signals to at least some people that you matter. You may have a job title that in some way some might find attractive, intriguing, or in some way conveys importance.

Then there will be a day when you lose your title.

You may find out that some people actually needed you while others wanted to be near you because of your position.

Someone said that “retirement is the world’s longest experiment in discovering who actually needed you versus who just needed your position.” (The Old Grey Thinker - March 4, 2026)

No matter your age, you and I might consider holding lightly to whatever position we have at work. For example, I am no longer identified as the minister of a church nor do I have a role in a Christian university. I do have my true identity - who I am in Christ.

Charlotte reminded me of the following scene:

Hamlet speaks with Horatio about his late father. Horatio describes the elder Hamlet by saying “I saw him once; he was a goodly king.” Hamlet then corrects him with great emotional weight: “He was a man, take him for all in all, / I shall not look upon his like again.” (Act 1 Scene 2)

Hamlet is pushing back on reducing his father to merely a title or a role — “a king.” When you lose your title, no matter your age, you have not lost yourself. Before you had a title, you were a man or woman, created in the image of God.

Your true identity remains. Now that matters.

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What if You Used the Whole Bike?

I love this quote from cartoonist Charles Shultz:

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Just as the person riding a bike may only use a few gears of the bike that are available, many of us only use a few biblical resources. We may have resources at our disposal that we rarely use.

For example:

• Deep Friendship - Do I really take advantage of deep friendships that I could have within the body of Christ?

• Real Prayer - Do I pray? If Jesus were to personally teach me to pray, how would my own prayer life change from what it is right now?

• Reflection - Do I take time to reflect and meditate on my life and my relationships with my family?

I’ve found it helpful to at least be open to learning about some unused “gears” that may actually help me as I walk with Jesus.

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The Life Hidden Inside an Average Day

Annie Dillard wrote:

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days.

How do you spend your days?

1. Does your time reflect who or what you are really devoted to? If I am devoted to my spouse and my children, does my use of time reflect this? Our calendars often say much about who or what we are really devoted to.

2. Are the people in whom you are investing actually on your calendar? Are my good intentions indicated by what is on my calendar?

3. Does my calendar reflect an intention to spend time in my own growth, self-care, and overall well being? What about my time in Scripture? What about my emotional and physical health?

The point of this is not for you to feel badly for neglecting to be intentional. Rather, it might be useful to think about the following:

1. Can I begin my week by placing something that is seemingly small on my calendar which reflects my commitments?

2. What would a very small “win” look like this week? What if I were to commit to doing something that may seem very small but which will begin to move me in the right direction?

The Part of Ministry Many Church Members Never See (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

I regularly read I Thessalonians 2:1-12 to remind me of what godly ministry is and what it is not. It is about faithful proclamation but it is also about living with integrity, courage, and sacrificial love.

Real ministry is courageous (2:1-12).

• Ministry will involve opposition.

• Courage is God-given boldness.

• At times, faithful ministry has a cost.

Real ministry has, at its core, a personal integrity found in one’s motives (2:3-6)

Note Paul’s clear description of what did not drive his ministry:

• not error, impure motives, nor deception (vs. 3)

• not people-pleasing (vs. 4)

• not flattery or greed (vs. 5)

• not seeking praise (vs. 6)

Think about these various descriptive terms that Paul uses. Why does he spend so much time on this? Ministry is a sacred trust and if we are not careful, our hearts can stray through misplaced motives.

It is critical that we protect what has been entrusted to us. Allowing misplaced motives to live in me can ultimately destroy my ministry.

Real ministry is deeply relational and loving (2:7-12)

Paul uses two family pictures to describe ministry:

A Mother’s Tender Care — “Like a nursing mother caring for her children.” A nursing mother cares for her children with gentleness, nurture and sacrifice.

“We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” (2:8).

A Father’s Spiritual Leadership —“Encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God” (2:12).

Ministry is about encouragement and guidance. It is about spiritual formation. You and I are to live so that in some way we are demonstrating the transformative power of the Gospel in our own lives.

I Thessalonians 2 is a passage that one does not master and then you move on. Rather, for any minister or church leader, this is worth re-reading again and again.

Etcetera (Resources and Thoughts)

1. See Russell Moore’s interview with Richard Reeves. “Why Young Men are Struggling.” This is an excellent and important conversation.

2. Kyle Strobel - “Knowledge and Skill are not Enough.” (Talbot School of Theology Magazine, January 22, 2026)

3. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and Amy Edmondson - “The Best Leaders are Great Followers.” (Harvard Business Review, January 14, 2026)

4. Note: I mentioned in the last Encouragement Note regarding my brother-in-law’s illness and hospitalization at Vanderbilt Hospital. Chris Coil died on Wednesday, March 4 after being hospitalized for 33 days. He served as a minister for 40 years.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(unsplash - Hush Naidoo Jade)

Waiting On the 7th Floor

For one long week, Charlotte and I found ourselves among the quiet tribe of people who occupy hospital waiting rooms — those who are not sick themselves, but who are present because a family member has been admitted. We were on the 7th floor of Vanderbilt’s CCU, because Charlotte’s brother, Chris Coil, had suffered a cardiac arrest.

Chris has been retired for two years. Much of his life during these past two years has been spent working outdoors. For over forty years he served as a minister particularly to people in small towns and rural churches. Before this, among other things, he rode bulls in rodeos. One hospital technician referred to him as “the bull riding preacher.”

We were there to support his wife, Lisa. We were there to simply be present — because sometimes presence is the most powerful thing you can offer.

The medical team in this unit was nothing short of remarkable. We were impressed with their competence. We were also impressed that they never seemed to forget that attached to every monitor was a real human being. A husband. A father. A brother. They treated the family with the same intentional care they gave the patient.

Every morning over breakfast, Charlotte and I sat in the hospital cafeteria with an extraordinary cross-section of humanity — anxious families clutching coffee cups, surgeons still in scrubs, nurses winding down from night shifts, construction workers remodeling a building, and administrators who work behind the scenes. These are people who use their gifts in service of something larger than themselves.

Yet, it was the quieter moments in that waiting room that got my attention. Hospitals have a way of stripping away the noise of ordinary life and force you to deal what truly matters. Charlotte and I thought about Chris — about the kind of man he is, the way he has shaped the lives of his children, and the way he has loved his wife, Lisa. We also thought about the countless young people he poured himself into during his years of ministry. These same young people are now grown with families of their own and so many have expressed genuine concern about Chris through their texts and visits.

We thought about our grandsons, Brody and Lincoln, and the mark their uncle has left on them.

One of the most difficult things to deal with at such a moment is the uncertainty. You are not where you were, but yet the future is uncertain. Perhaps you can relate to this in light of your own challenges. Things are not going to be as they were in the past. Yet, you do not know what the future will be like.

In the meantime, God is faithful, in both the good days and the ones that shake you to the core.

We live in the meantime. And we navigate each day by trusting in God.

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Just Be You

No one gets to hand you permission to be yourself. That authority belongs to you alone.

For years, I kept falling into the same exhausting trap. I was hesitant of simply being me. You may know this feeling. Meanwhile, you look around at various people in your life and they seem to have it all figured out.

I would watch someone and think, “It must be so effortless for them to do what’s right.” And in that same breath, I’d convince myself that no one — wrestled with the same temptations, the same failures, the same private wars that I did.

I would watch someone and think, “What must it feel like to walk into a room with that kind of confidence?” And while I was thinking this, there were voices inside me — relentless, familiar voices — telling me I was inadequate and didn’t measure up.

I would watch someone and think, “I wish I had the kind of friends this person has.” In the meantime, I sometimes completely overlooked the people who were already reaching out to me with open hands.

Looking back, I wasted staggering amounts of time living inside my own head — rehearsing, analyzing, worrying — instead of taking a breath and being fully present in the moment I actually had.

Maybe, the most courageous thing you and I can do is simply show up as ourselves. Perhaps we can begin by listening to the voice of God as to our identity and value, instead of other voices.

The inner critic is loud. But it doesn’t have to win. Nothing breaks the cycle of self-absorption like getting outside yourself entirely — serving, noticing, showing up for someone else. The moment you stop auditioning for your own life, you start actually living it.

You are allowed to be you. Not a polished version, not a borrowed version, not the version you think everyone else wants to see. Just you. And this is more than enough.

Do I have this all figured out? No. Absolutely not. But this is a step forward for you and me.

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Who Do You Want to Be?

One of the earliest questions most of us can remember being asked is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We might rattle off answers — NFL player, a doctor, professional baseball player.

Perhaps the question that matters far more, the one that shapes the actual texture of your life, is this: What kind of person do you want to become?

As we wrestle with this deeper question, few tools are more powerful than a well-chosen role model. Not a celebrity. Not a title. A person — real or historical — whose character, courage, and Christ-like faith quietly whispers, this is who I want to be.

And yet, maybe it has been a long time since we thought about a role model. Perhaps we’ve outgrown the posters on our walls but never replaced them with anything more intentional.

Occasionally, you and I may need to refreshen our role models and who we look to as we attempt to navigate life.

Scott Galloway wrote regarding role models:

Sociologist Robert K. Merton coined the term “role model” in 1957 while studying the socialization of medical students. Distinguishing between reference groups (the crowd you want to belong to) and role models (individuals you emulate in a specific social role), Merton found that we learn “scripts” from role models that teach us how to behave in a specific status (doctor, leader, parent, etc.). Emulating role models, the med students engaged in “anticipatory socialization,” adopting the professional values and norms of practitioners before officially becoming doctors themselves. Building on Merton’s work, psychologists Thekla Morgenroth, Michelle K. Ryan, and Kim Peters argued in a 2015 paper that role models serve three motivational functions: acting as behavioral models, representing what’s possible, and serving as sources of inspiration.

The article identifies three distinct ways role models shape us — as models of behavior, as proof of what’s possible, and as sources of inspiration.

This can be helpful, especially if you’ve caught yourself thinking such things as: I’m too old for this, or I don’t have enough — money, time, energy, etc. A well-chosen role model can help to dismantle some of these excuses.

Instead of anchoring your identity to a job title that will one day disappear, why not think about an identity that is rooted in who you are as a child of God. Begin to build a more intentional inner circle of role models. These people might show you:

1. How to behave — What attitudes, habits, and ways of treating others do you want to define you, long after your business card is irrelevant?

2. What is actually possible — Whose story shatters your self-imposed ceiling and makes you think, if they could do it, maybe I can too?

3. Where to find inspiration — Not the motivational-poster kind of inspiration or what you might find in a self-help book, but the deep, sustaining inspiration that pulls you forward on the really hard days.

Encouraging Observations From a Teacher

The following paragraphs were written by David Henreckson, a professor at Whitworth University (Spokane, Washington), who writes (January 31, 2026) about the moral and spiritual hunger of today’s college students. I find this encouraging:

My own perception, at least, is that my young adults are spiritually (in the broadest sense of the term) ravenous. They are left hungry by what one former dean of Harvard called “excellence without a soul.” Whether they can name it or not, they instinctively know that resume virtues are thin gruel compared to the hearty excellences of character that they hope will one day be mentioned at their funeral. And yes, I remind them regularly of the evasive, haunting reality that their death is certain and that a good death is not an easy feat.

I worry that many of us Millennial academics think too little of our students. After all, if you take the time to ask, you’ll discover that most of them have encountered deep loss already. (I invite them in week two to submit a note—anonymized if they prefer—explaining what losses and griefs they are bringing to class.) Many of them want to wrestle with life, death, and all the ultimate things. They recognize that they do not know how to disagree well with those who hold opposing views. They want to be given the freedom to put their devices away so they can be fully present in the classroom. Many of them feel called to a vocational identity and not just a career.

I find this encouraging because of what this might mean for those of us who want to pass on our faith, the gospel, to the next generation.

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Psalm 18 and Your Wins (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

The opening lines of Psalm 18 are raw, unfiltered worship. This is a picture of passion toward God.

“I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.”

If you’re a minister or church leader, you may need to hear these passionate words more than you may realize.

After all, ministry is hard. Sometimes it is soul-crushingly hard. Working with a congregation can leave you questioning everything, including yourself. Am I really making a difference? Does any of this matter?

The losses in ministry have a way of claiming front and center attention while the wins whisper.

What if we gave the wins more attention:

1. Claim the wins that God has already given you. Note these words describing God: “strength, rock, fortress, savior, shield, place of safety.” This is the language of someone who has seen God show up. Can you point to the ways that God has shown up for you? You have been serving people in his name, and he has worked through you in ways you may not even fully realize yet. Pay attention and celebrate it!

2. Claim your own wins — because they are real. Think about your wins.

• You made the difficult phone call.

• You showed up at the hospital when you were exhausted.

• You greeted someone on Sunday that you find genuinely hard to love.

• You taught with care.

• You gave credit where credit was due, even when part of you wanted to keep it.

These are not small things. These are the quiet, faithful acts that shape a life and a ministry. The enemy of your soul wants you to catalogue every failure, every misstep, and every moment you fell short. Instead, give attention to what you are doing right.

Ministry is hard at times. One way of managing yourself is by not forgetting the wins.

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(Unsplash - Clay Banks)

(Published on a cold January day with lots of snow and ice on the streets outside!)

How Some Dreams Die

Some people know what it is to have another person kill one of their dreams. Yet, sometimes you and I can miss opportunities, not because of the action of another, but our own procrastination.

I have done this.

Shane Parish has said, “Telling yourself you will do it tomorrow is how dreams die.”

Perhaps, like me, you understand all too well what it means to put off doing a good thing:

• “Let’s get together for lunch sometime.” - Maybe it has now been over a year since you said this to your friend. You still have not had lunch together. Realistically, this probably isn’t going to happen.

• “One day I am going to __________” - You may wonder why you continue to say this.

For me, the procrastination has been about writing a particular book. I actually have a first draft. Yet, I find myself putting off the actual writing of this book.

What about you? Do you find that you talk about your future self as being very different than you present self? Perhaps I think that one day, my future self will have more time, more energy, or will be more likely to do the thing I am talking about.

Yet, you find your future self never arrives. What you have now is your present self. What you have now is who you are today.

What have you been putting off?

What has been helpful to me is to take one step today. Acknowledging this is a step forward.

Focus on God and Gain Spiritual Wisdom

Are you focused on growing old or are you focused on growing and maturing as a whole person in Christ?

Some people are really focused on their age. “I just turned 40. Oh my goodness!” (Or it could be age 50, 60, and beyond).

Yet, what might happen if I focused not on living as a 40 year old (or 50, 60, etc) but on what it might mean to live as a whole person who has been redeemed by Jesus?

What might happen if I focus on God’s presence, his faithfulness, and his power instead of the physical changes to my body? Perhaps the following might be a result:

• I might trust in God as I really listen to another person.

• I might pay more attention to another’s tone, body language, emotions, etc. instead of being so self-conscious.

• Perhaps I would get less anxious when another person is silent.

• I could pray for wisdom before I speak knowing that this conversation is not about me.

Contrast this to quick-fix thinking, which I sometimes resort to out of my own anxiety about the future. On such occasions, the following is what I sometimes do:

• I focus on what someone thinks about me believing that I have failed if I disappoint them.

• If I detect potential disapproval or distress in another, I may conclude there is something wrong with me.

• I can spend too much energy trying to be the person others want me to be.

• I can worry too much about another’s potential reaction to my choices

• I can try to gain approval, agreement, and attention from others

Quick-fix thinking only feeds my anxiety. Instead of solving anything, I may find that I only become more anxious.

Contrast this with an approach to life where you and I are fully present, trusting in God to lead, provide, and to give us spiritual wisdom. This is a step forward.

Good News at Rock Bottom

I love what Ray Ortlund has written in his book, Good News at Rock Bottom:

During seasons of loneliness, betrayal, or loss, we may be tempted to give up on God. But Jesus is often harder to find in the comfortable lives we prefer. Instead, he meets us down at rock bottom - where he is waiting for us with open arms.

Being Intentional After Regret

Many people will say they have no regrets. For some this almost seems to be a virtue.

However, I do have some regrets.

Daniel Pink, in his book The Power of Regret, summarizes regrets into four different categories, including “foundation” regrets; “boldness” regrets; “moral” regrets; and “connection” regrets. These are helpful categories.

I regret the opportunities missed while in college. These were primarily due to my immaturity and a lack of focus. I also have behavior regrets. I regret not living as a committed Christ-follower in my early years.

Pink says that the objective is not to ignore our regrets. Nor, do we wallow in regret. Rather, we learn from it and allow it to shape our future choices.

For me, this has been helpful as I live in this chapter of my life.

• I want to make the most of each day, believing that in some way, God will use me for his purposes.

• I want to make the most of this chapter of life, believing that this could be such a significant chapter of life.

Etcetera

1. I just read Chip Conley’s Wisdom @ Work: The Making of a Modern Elder. A very thoughtful book on how to cultivate a “beginner’s mind.” (Note this is not about “church elder/shepherds).

2. My copy of the Journal of Christian Studies just arrived. I am particularly interested in this issue - “Artificial Intelligence and the Church.” See the Journal of Christian Studies.

3. I am reading Rubel Shelly’s book, Heaven. A helpful and thorough look at what the Bible says about what happens after death.

4. This really is good. The Old Testament story by Dr. Sandra Richter (in seven minutes).

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(unsplash - Nataliah Blauth)

The List of Five

Four Commitments for the New Year

David Brooks, in his book The Second Mountain, outlines four commitments that every person must grapple with in their 20s. Yet, even beyond a person’s 20s, it can be helpful to evaluate your progress with the following four commitments:

1. My commitment to my faith. That is, my relationship with God.

2. My commitment to a vocation. This is my “calling” which may or may not be my job.

3. My commitment to my family. This is my marriage, my children, my extended family).

4. My commitment to a community of people (my church, my small group, my closest friends, etc.)

Brooks went on to say, “The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of your commitments.” In the meantime, contrast this with a perspective many have that we need to keep our options open and make no commitments.

He says that there are really two kinds of freedom. One is the freedom of no restraint and no commitments. This is the direction so many choose.

The other kind of freedom is the freedom to do hard things within the context of loving commitments we have made. Some of the hard things include:

1. My commitment to daily loving God and loving my neighbor (My faith).

2. My commitment to serving well, whether at work or elsewhere (My vocation).

3. My commitment to my spouse, my children, etc. Do my words, tone, actions, and decisions reflect a deep love for each one of these people? Does my relationship with them reflect a devoted kindness toward them? (My family)

4. My commitment to a group of people with whom I am in community. Are there people in my life toward whom I give my attention, my time, and my devotion?(My community)

Whether you are a young parent, an “empty nester,” or newly retired, this is a wonderful time to reflect on these core commitments and how they are reflected in our lives.

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What Does it Mean to be a Real Man?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a “dad.” This includes reflecting on the question: “What does it mean to be a man?” I think about behaviors that reflect good and godly character. Perhaps the following might be a good starting point:

1. A real man protects others and makes people feel safe. Your presence should bring security, not fear. Both men and women should know that how you treat others is honorable and consequently safe. Whether it’s your mother, wife, sister, or girlfriend —people should feel safer when you are around, not on edge.

2. A real man speaks straight—no games, no hidden agendas. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. People trust a man whose words match his actions. There is genuine authenticity in being straightforward instead of passive-aggressive or manipulative talk.

3. A real man builds others up and never tears them down. Putting others down doesn’t make you stronger—it displays your weakness and your insecurity. Real strength shows itself through encouragement and respect.

4. A real man treats all women with honor and respect—beginning with his mother.

How a man treats his mother (or wife) reveals his character.

(Young women, take note: if a young man regularly disrespects his mother, you are probably looking at how he will treat his girlfriend or future wife one day. Run from a person like this! Likewise, if you are a young husband, beware of friendships with other young husbands who regularly disrespect and talk badly about their wives.)

5. A real man listens to others. Think about your conversations. What good questions are you asking others? Some guys seem to think that talking over other men or women and dismissing their thoughts displays their own intelligence. Rather, it often reflects their own self-absorption and lack of respect.

6. A real man knows the secret to every good relationship -- kindness. Want to get along better with your mom, your girlfriend, or your wife? Be kind. Kindness will bless both you and others. Does the mother of your children see you as a kind man?

7. A real man uses his strength to do good, not to hurt another. You may be assertive and energetic. Great! Use these to speak truth, defend others, and create something good to bless another.

8. A real man looks out for others, not just himself. Too many men seem to be focused solely on what they want. Such a man is self-centered, and may even have an attitude of entitlement. Instead, think beyond yourself.

9. A real man takes responsibility instead of making excuses. Some men always seem to blame others —their circumstances, their parents, the referee, the teachers, etc. In contrast, one young quarterback representing one of the teams in the college football playoff series said, “I knew that I had to play better.” Instead of focusing on others, I need to ask, “What do I need to do? How do I need to serve around our house? How can I function better?”

10. A real man seeks to be a “Man of God.” Above all, he desires to honor God with his life, his relationships and his work.

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Coldness of Heart

The first time I read the paragraph below, I was gripped by the sentence in bold and the phrase “coldness of heart and wanderings of mind.” You also may find this thinking helpful:

O Almighty God, you pour out on all who desire it the spirit of grace and of supplication: Deliver us, when we draw near to you, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind, that with steadfast thoughts and kindled affections we may worship you in spirit and in truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Book of Common Prayer, 2019, p. 76)

Perfectionism is not the Answer

In his book, Wholeheartedness: Busyness, Exhaustion, and Healing the Divided Self, Chuck DeGroat tells of a conversation with a friend who spoke of her frustration and exasperation with social media. She said regarding her frustration: “I’m exhausted trying to be what everybody wants!”

Can you relate?

Meanwhile, I love this quote by Brene Brown (as quoted by Chuck DeGroat). It is a reminder to all of us:

Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance (p. 33)

May we find our wholeness in the grace of God and not in our effort to be just right in the eyes of another.

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In Case You are Interested (Ministers, Church Leaders, and Others)

You may find mentor/coaching to be a very helpful way to make progress on your concerns and goals. I have coached many church leaders through a variety of life and ministry issues. One of the best things about coaching is that neither the coach or the one being coached has all the answers. A coach is not the expert on anyone’s life, ministry, or work.

Coaching church leaders is what I do much of the time. However, this certainly isn’t limited to church leaders. Sometimes, regardless of who you are, coaching can be helpful in accelerating your own growth. It may be helpful in overcoming obstacles or dealing with opportunities. It could be that you need more clarity about a situation you are trying to navigate. It can also be helpful in navigating life, ministry, and work transitions.

For over forty-five years, I have served as a minister. This includes congregational ministry for 36 years. I served as vice president of Harding School of Theology for ten years. My wife and I have two children and four grandchildren. I have learned much but I continue to learn as a life-long learner. For many years, I have been a part of Hope Network Ministries.

If a time of mentor/coaching interests you, please contact me for more information (e-mail - jmartin9669@gmail.com).

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

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The List of Five

A Few Words to my Grandchildren

1. Guard your reputation. A good reputation can take a long time to build and yet can be destroyed in moments.

2. Deal with your emotions. Out of control emotions can escalate the situation and heighten the impact of a negative outcome. Do not let your emotions control the decision that is made. The one who can stay calm is likely to make a wise decision.

3. Appreciate and be grateful for every good thing that comes your way. One the other hand, appreciation and gratitude can help to create a more gracious person.

4. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Be kind, gracious, and thankful to others.

5. Treat your family especially well. In particular, treat your mother and dad well. Treat your spouse well. Treat them well when others are around and when no one else is around. This really matters.

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Five Things On My Mind

1. I think a lot about ministers serving churches. In particular, I explore the various ways to encourage these people.

2. I think about being a dad. Some of this is fueled by the sheer number of kids I see who are growing up without a godly dad being in their home and in their lives. This is also fueled by being a dad to two daughters and a wonderful son-in-law.

3. I think about being a grandfather. What an opportunity grandparents have to invest in their grandchildren!

4. I think about the importance of being a spiritual shepherd. (I’m not talking about a formal role, but rather how we might function.) Contrary to this, far too many people age and see this as a time to shut down and pull away from their involvement with people in their church.

5. I think about how I can stay spiritually alive, connected, and sensitive to the will and desires of God.

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If I Want to be a Better Parent:

1. I can spend less time on social media, television, shopping, etc. I can spend more time nurturing my soul in the Word of God.

2. I can spend less attention on myself (worrying about what others think of me) and more attention on how I can bless and encourage others. This is a great example before my kids.

3. I can user fewer words as I talk about myself, my opinions, and my concerns. I can use more words, asking more good questions to others.

4. I can consider spending less money on items I may insist on having but overdone actually creates more stress. I can spend more money on helping others and being a good steward of what I have.

5. I can dabble less as I search for comfort and convenience in my life. I can be more focused on where I really need to invest my life. I can not only tell my kids what is important but I can show them by my life.

Good parents are not smarter or more intelligent. Rather, good parents are intentional, purposeful, and invest their lives in what really matters.

Our children are watching. How do I speak in private or in a public setting? How do I behave when I am upset?

Spend less.

Love more.

Know that the clock is ticking and the time with our children, in our home, is less every day.

An opportunity to make a difference with our children is right in front of us.

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I Love This!

One of the great stories recently was 44 year old, Philip Rivers coming out of retirement to help his former team, The Indianapolis Colts. Rivers played quarterback for 17 years in the NFL. Rivers has been retired for five years and serves as head football coach at St. Michael Catholic in Fairhope, Alabama.

Surprisingly, after a series of injuries to their quarterbacks, the Colts called Rivers asking him to return for the remainder of the season.

After five years, Rivers started for the Indianapolis Colts as they played the Seattle Seahawks. While the Colts lost the game, Rivers has captured the attention of many in the nation watching this high school coach make a comeback.

See the video below of Rivers in the game with the Seahawks. This is a video of Rivers throwing his first touchdown in five years and his Fairhope high school football team erupting in celebration.

We Are All Wired Differently (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

My “normal” seems to be me! I see life mainly through my eyes, my perspective, my point of view, my gifts, and my opinions.

Yet, ministers and shepherds serve alongside others who may be very different from ourselves. No wonder Paul reminds us all to:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Eph. 4:2)

This is just one reason why certain personal assessment tools can be so valuable. Many have found value in helpful tools such the Enneagram, DISC (behavior), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (personality types), and others. Not only can these tools help you understand how you are “wired” but can also give understanding and clarity as to how others are wired.

Some of the challenges you might face as a minister:

1. Can I value and appreciate the contribution and value of co-workers and elders who may very different than me?

2. Will I be intentional about surrounding myself with those who are not like me but who have much to offer?

3. Will I have a spirit of humility that allows me to look beyond myself to the contribution of others in the body of Christ?

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

The List of Five

Respect and Honor

A married man is called to protect, cherish, and honor the woman to whom he is married. He stands up for his spouse and their children.

I once heard an immature husband tell his buddies, “You guys don’t know what I have to put up with at home.” His friends weren’t impressed. They saw a self-absorbed, insecure, and childish little man.

Sadly, some boys grow up watching this kind of dishonoring behavior from their fathers. They see and hear the sarcasm, the eye-rolling, and the dismissive comments. These young men may begin to mimic this behavior in their relationships with young women and may even carry this behavior into their own marriages.

Yet, there are also many husbands and fathers who model something far better. They show their sons and daughters what love looks like in real life. They treat their wives with tenderness, respect, and honor.

A real man does not bark orders at his wife, roll his eyes in disgust, or belittle her intelligence.

This is the small man.

• The small man makes passive-aggressive digs and then hides behind the words, “I was just joking.”

• The small man may even laugh when his wife cries, mocking her pain while he stares at his phone. In his small self-absorbed mind, she is just far too emotional.

• The small man is cold, ruthless, and emotionally absent.

He may be a bully. Yet in his own mind, he is rational, levelheaded, and the smartest person in the room.

I am deeply grateful for the good men who modeled for me how to be a husband and father. They were a work in progress in their own families much like myself. Yet, I saw something worthy of imitation. I still had to grow up and mature as a young husband and dad. However, their example gave me something to aim for.

What we model matters.

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Are You In the Game?

You may know what it is like to feel unimportant, invisible, or inconsequential.

Perhaps you have felt like this much of your life or this may be due to a recent passage in life, such as retirement. While, my experience with retirement has been good, there have certainly been some challenges to overcome as I settled into this chapter of life.

Some people base their worth on their past. Perhaps it is when you were rearing your children, achieving milestones in your business, or some work accomplishment that made you feel like you mattered.

I used to be the leader.
I used to be respected by my peers.
I used to create, organize, and make a real difference.

But now?

Now you may wonder if your voice still matters. Do your gifts still count?

The real questions are: Can I find life in the present? Can I find meaning in what I am doing today?

The truth? Your value is not determined by recognition, accomplishments, or having a valued voice.

Your worth is rooted not in accomplishments, past or present, but in your identity as a child of God. You were created in the image of God and this speaks to your value, both before and after accomplishments.

Your gifts have not vanished. Your contribution still matters regardless of your season of life. You may be a young mother at home, or a 60 year old caring for a parent with Dementia. The challenges we all face are so varied.

You matter.
Right now.
As you are.

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Give My Heart

Ray Ortlund recently posted a poem by Christina Rossetti that beautifully captures the heart of true devotion. She reminds us that what God desires most is not our wealth, our abilities, or our achievements—but our hearts.

“What can I give Thee,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd,
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man,
I would do my part.
Yet what can I give Him?
Give my heart!”
—Christina Rossetti (1830–1894)

The greatest offering we can bring to God is ourselves.

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The Sermon They See

(Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

My fifteen-year-old grandson recently got his learner’s driving permit. I can talk to him about driving, but what will shape him most is what he sees when I am actually driving and he is in the car. He will notice if I am texting while driving or if I come to a “rolling stop” at stop signs instead of coming to a full stop.

I’ve been reading Mike Glenn’s book, Preaching in a Post-Truth World, and a passage struck me deeply:

“Congregations watch before they listen. They watch how you walk around the sanctuary. They watch how you greet members. They watch how you react when your spouse walks up to you. They watch how you respond to your children. With each interaction, the congregation is deciding whether you are the kind of preacher they can trust. Is there something in your life that gives your words credibility?” (p. 32)

Glenn goes on to describe the calling of ministry:

“There’s never a time that the preacher isn’t preaching. Our calling isn’t to a job or career. It’s a calling to a life. Our spoken sermons may be the only sermons our people hear, but they’re not the only ones they’re watching.” (p. 33)

Sermons are not only heard—they are seen. Not on YouTube, but in real life.

What people hear from us matters. However, the sermon or the class does not end when we stop talking.

It continues in how we live, how we treat people, and how we make decisions.

Etcetera

1. Charlotte and I just returned from Germany where I spoke four times at the Euro-American Annual Retreat in Rothenburg ob der Tauber. We were with 150 people from 21 nations. We were richly blessed by the conversations and experience.

2. I have been reading Mike Glenn’s excellent book, Preaching in a Post-Truth World. Very thoughtful read.

3. See Sam Allberry’s “Four Ways to Avoid Sexual Sin.” Very good!

4. See also “Pastors Remain Committed to the Pulpit” by Aaron Earls (June 6, 2025). (Thanks to Carlus Gupton)

5. Russell Moore’s “10 Favorite Books of 2025.”

6. “The key is to keep asking yourself the same question, again and again and again: this is your life—what do you want to pay attention to?”
   ​— Catherine Price —Found in Susan Cain’s Quiet Journal

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

(unsplash - Gareth David)

The List of Five

When You Hit a Brick Wall

I suspect most of us know the feeling of hitting a “brick wall.” It seems you have tried most everything and still you can make no progress.

• You feel as if your child is being treated unfairly by an adult at school. In fact, the treatment amounts to bullying. How can you get this stopped?

• You have worked so hard at your company. You thought you were the most qualified for a particular job opening. Yet recently, the job was given to someone younger who has not been with the company very long. How can this be right?

• You have been a part of a particular congregation for almost eight years. Recently, the youth minister was “let go.” You feel particularly sad about this decision because he has had such a godly influence on several of your children. Rearing children is difficult enough. Why did this happen?

Hitting a brick wall is hard! Sometimes it can be very discouraging. Yet, when you hit a brick wall, you might do the following:

1. Acknowledge before God, the reality of the pain of not being able to get past this obstacle. Bring before God the questions, the emotions, and your yearning to move forward in faith. (See Psalm 13 and 22)

2. Don’t try to navigate this alone. Invite others to walk with you. Acknowledge the difficulty and the frustration of this situation. Don’t glibly mutter, “It’s all good,” as if dismissing the pain makes this better. Be honest about the pain. (See Galatians 6:2)

3. Know that this brick wall can be used to make you more Christ-like. (See Romans 5:3-5 and 8:28-29)

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What Legacy Are You Placing in Your Children?

“The modern world runs on speed; wisdom moves at the pace of reflection.” - (The Old Grey Thinker)

I have been thinking a lot about legacy this year. I’m particularly thinking about the legacy that Charlotte and I attempt to place in our children and now, by God’s grace, into the hearts of our grandchildren.

Your legacy is not about the number of followers you might have on Instagram. Your legacy is about how you invested something of value in another person. For a mom or dad, this is about what you invested into the hearts of your children.

There are at least four kinds of legacy which carry value for our children and grandchildren. The issue is not what we will leave to our children, but what will we leave in our children. What will we leave in their hearts?

The following legacies are very important for any dad or mom who wish to place a rich treasure in the hearts of their children:

• Spiritual Legacy (My absolute devotion to Jesus)

• Character Legacy (My deep commitment to do the right thing even when no one is looking.)

• Relational Legacy (My unrivaled love for my spouse and my children.)

• Emotional Legacy (My desire to be a presence that blesses and respects my spouse and my children.)

When you are near death and your children and grandchildren are gathered around your bed, what would you hope they say that you have given them? What will our legacy be?

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What Do You Ask When You Look in the Mirror

Former Chicago Bear, Mike Singletary, is a powerful motivational speaker. He said that every night before he goes to bed, he looks into the mirror and asks himself one question:

“Did you get better today?”

Is there anything you left undone today? Is there someone whom you need to call and apologize? Do you need to tell someone “thank you” for being in your life.

This really got my attention as I think about my own life. I have been thinking about this question ever since I heard him say it.

“Did you get better today?”

As Singletary suggests, some days I need to apologize. Some days I need to confess that I have complained way too much. On other days, I need to focus more on saying “Thank you” to the people who have made a difference in my life.

Far too many of us go through a day and focus on our scarcity:

• If only I had more money.

• If only my spouse would do better.

• If only I had a better job.

• If only the kids would straighten up.

• If only others might recognize my value.

Far too many people end the day with “If only . . .” Yet, ending the day like this invites blaming, projecting, and perhaps jealousy.

I like the question, “Did you get better today?” This invites you and me to take responsibility, be intentional, and to focus on our growth. I want to shaped more into the image of Jesus each day. I want my day to reflect this.

What do you ask when you look into the mirror?

The Essential Questions for a Leader (Especially for ministers and other church leaders).

The following is from Ahmet Bozer. The effort is to simply some of the essential questions for any leader:

Throughout my executive life, I sought to simplify the concept of leadership, which was not only my responsibility but also a fascination. I believed that simplifying it would help me stay more focused and perform more effectively.

Leadership has been the subject of countless writings, and nearly all perspectives hold relevance in some context.This makes the task of simplification difficult. In one of my first attempts, I distilled the essence of leadership into seven tough questions:

1. Do I believe?

2. Do I care?

3. Am I realistic?

4. Do I make tough decisions?

5. Do I have inner strength?

6. Am I approachable?

7. Do I develop myself?

The first two questions address foundational qualities of leadership: belief and care—for the business, the strategy, the team, and myself. The third question concerns setting realistic expectations and making sound judgments about people, strategies, and relationships. The fourth question—making tough decisions—is perhaps the most consequential. When faced with high stakes, am I capable of remaining grounded, taking decisive action, and doing the right thing, even when it is inconvenient? The last three questions focus on personal traits that I believe distinguish a leader.

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Etcetera

1. I just received Richard V. Reeves book, Of Boys and Men, a book that I have looked forward to reading. Reeves has written a significant book which “provides a groundbreaking diagnosis of the contemporary male malaise.” This is a book that I have looked forward to reading for quite sometime.

2. Charlotte and I will be traveling over the next few weeks. The next issue of this “Encouragement Note” will be published in December.

3. I recently came across this prayer. It was referred to as an “Old Anglican Prayer.”

Father, what we know not, teach us
What we have not, give us
What we are not, make us
For your Son’s sake
Amen

I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

Much of my time is spent in conversation with ministers and other church leaders. I do mentor/coaching each week. I continue to teach and preach in various congregations by request.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin