It is officially the beginning of wedding week. EEK! Can a girl be excited for a second? I am thankful to say, after lots of last minute to-do’s and an unexpected staff change at our venue, I feel calm. This Saturday, I will finally get to see all of my planning come to life and soak it all in. Most of all, I am just excited to be marrying my best friend.

I realized I never officially said this on Substack, but yes, Hayden and I will be married on Halloween! No, we’re not obsessed with Halloween, though I do love the holiday for other reasons. We started officially dating on October 31st, two years ago. I have always wanted to get married in the fall. It all worked out the way it was supposed to. We are having an intimate nuptial Mass with our families, in the chapel I have always wanted to be married in. A larger reception will follow. Our wedding is entirely dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, whose feast day is on the 31st. She is a part of our wedding in ways big and small, from the personal devotion we have to her, down to the wedding favors and the blue and white color scheme we picked. I am planning to share all of our wedding details in the near future, but for now I ask that you please keep us in your prayers this weekend.

With all of the imminent changes about to take place in my life, it can be tempting to fear the future, because I don’t know what waits for me there. What my new job will be, what our family will look like, our daily life, etc. Last week, I read a meditation about awaiting the Master’s return. How sometimes, when it’s apparent that God is absent, to remember the Apostles, who would not know how to receive the future gift of the Holy Spirit if Jesus was still in their midst.

If I close my eyes, I can visualize clearly how it may have felt to be one of the twelve, completely unsure of how to proceed now that their Lord was gone from their lives. But it was necessary that He obey His Father’s will so that His dearest friends could receive His grace. There are times we have to make desperate attempts to go on trusting in God. It is precisely these times we feel abandoned that we’re being prepared for His grace and future gifts.

I am reminded to stay where God’s grace currently meets me. I can’t leap ahead to access the strength that exists where I do not. I just have to trust that God will meet me on the altar. For today, all I have to do is stay where the grace is.

Love, Martha

Lingering in my mind…

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I don’t have too many updates for you right now, except to say that I am getting married in three weeks! We are officially in the home stretch, and I can say confidently that I really didn’t think this day would come. I told a friend over text last week that the way I feel is the exact opposite of what I thought would happen: I feel fine. Excited. My nervous system’s natural state is heightened, but I’m surprisingly….composed? I went on a walk the other day and my neighbors spotted me as they drove by. They rolled down their window and mentioned my impending nuptials, “Look how relaxed you seem!”

I giggled to myself: Do I?

In the same way that our body keeps the score of what ails us physically and mentally, perhaps our bodies also reflect our measure of surrender to the changing world around us. I think the truest surrender I can make is happening as the day draws nearer. Months ago I was a ball of anxiety, a poor version of myself. There was so much to do. I was plagued by the decisions and the personal struggles I was dealing with. I am thankful I am not God. If I were in charge of manipulating time, I would fast-forward through all the bad parts that make me wait for the good. That job doesn’t fall to me, so the days that passed seemed like ages. And I am once again learning the tale as old as time: the hard parts are what make the good parts sweeter.

Now, there is less to do. Almost everything is done, well, sort of. (As a perfectionist I wonder, is anything really every “done?”) And there is the realization that even if everything in the world goes wrong on our wedding day, Hayden and I will still be married. Maybe it’s all the surrender novenas I’ve been praying, but I am for once glad to realize that God has always been the one in control. There will be hard times like this again. There always are in this life. And like a fickle human, I will probably forget this lesson like I always do. But there is grace. Thank God.

I hope that after months and months of me talking about my wedding, you’re not sick of me. My intention wasn’t to make my entire life about it, but to hope that the crosses I bear are a comfort to someone who struggles with the same things. And in return, writing about what has been hard for the past six months has been very cathartic for me. In a strange way, I feel closure.

God has been a very practical provider for me this season, in more ways than I can count. Six months ago Hayden and I didn’t know where we were going to live, how we were going to get furniture in time for our wedding, how we were going to pull off a wedding in seven months. But today I am sitting in our apartment, with a fall candle lit and piano music playing. I am writing this post from my new favorite chair. All of the wedding details are coming together.

Maybe I’ve been ignorant or ungrateful to not pay attention to the ways God is providing spiritually too, but truthfully this prayer season has been dry. Maybe He is directing my attention to just be thankful for these practical answers. Thankful for a kitchen table, a roof over my head, the sun rising each morning, inching closer to my wedding day. Maybe He is teaching me to be hopeful of the future where He will be, and fully present in the moment, where He also is. Don’t forget to pray for the practical things, and don’t forget to thank Him when He answers.

I started this week’s newsletter thinking it would be one paragraph at most and it has blossomed into a jumble of my thoughts, but it’s honest. So anyways, I don’t have too many updates, and in fact, you can probably expect I will be on “sabbatical” until November, unless I have some unexpected free time. The next few weeks will be full of life changes and adjustments. New home, city, job, family life, etc. What I do have is a lotttt of hope for the future. I have a lot of Substack posts on deck that I’m so excited about, and a lot planned for this publication in general. You may not hear from me as much in the next couple of weeks, but you can expect a lot from me very soon, and that is a promise. I am also hopeful of the surprises God has in store for me that I don’t know about yet, because I am not the one in control. For now, I ask for your prayers.

Love, Martha

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Lingering in my mind…

💌 The best perfume I’ve smelled in a while.

More on hope for the future:

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This past weekend was Homecoming for my alma mater, and the town that I will be moving back to in just 26 days (!!!) And yes, Mizzou beat Florida, but more importantly it was the first official time Hayden and I hosted guests in our first apartment together, something I have been looking forward to for a long time. My best friend stayed with us for the weekend and we had friends over for a little dinner party Saturday night. We watched the end of the football game, talked, drank wine, sat outside as the sun set, and enjoyed each other’s company over burgers and desserts.

I was in my element. My friends that were over kept giggling as they observed me live out a dream I have always wanted: to start a life with someone, to make it beautiful, and to share it with loved ones.

As I gave the apartment tour to my friends, beaming at all of the beautiful pieces in their rightful places after they’d been collecting dust for several years, one friend commented, “Martha you were made for this.” Pinch me! Indeed, I was. I think about the small life I lived in this town with friends in college. I think about the small dreams I prayed for that God held on to, as if they were in a void. I was unsure when they would be answered. And there I was, five years later, with the same people I lived in this town with, living in an answered prayer. It was worth the wait.

Most of you know by now that I am very passionate about the home. It is an exterior symbol that represents your interior life. The epicenter of family life, a taste of Heaven. That is to say, your home need not be grand and elaborate to be holy. There’s a quote I love from the book Theology of Home that goes:

Our homes are an extension of who we are, but they are also meant to be an offering. When we view our domestic life through the lens of stewardship rather than ownership, the mindset shifts away from creating a private fortress. It is fundamentally a question of choice. ‘What we have is for you.’ Our homes have the capacity to be a place of ‘refreshment, light, and peace’—a true foreshadowing of heaven—or a space that is inhospitable, dark, and restless.

We are meant to open the doors of our souls to our neighbors and let them know that what we have is for them. It doesn’t need to be perfect. You were made for this too.

Love, Martha

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Lingering in my mind…

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Noteworthy:

💌 The easy pasta recipe I made this weekend that looks like it took a lot of effort.

💌 Not my favorite Taylor Era but can we talk about the masterpiece that is “Babylon”?? The headphones metaphor of not knowing what you have until it’s gone: chef's kiss. I love a nostalgic Taylor song for fall.

💌 My favorite quick, high-protein dip you should try this fall.

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I’m so excited for my wedding to just be here. I do not compartmentalize stress very well. I get married on October 31st, and I’m yearning for the first day of November. Of course, I know that it is not possible to live an anxiety-free life, but our bodies aren’t meant to be under constant stress either.

It’s not that I’m overcome with stress all at once, it’s more of a perpetual lingering. Always there in the back of my mind. I haven’t felt my cortisol levels fully drop in months. It’s par for the course though. That comes with the territory of planning such a big event. A deadline looming, slowly creeping up. Things have to get done.

At a wedding a few weekends ago, I was chatting with another recently married friend. He asked how I was feeling, and I told him what I just told you in a nutshell. He said plainly “engagement is a drag.” I thanked him for saying that, because it validated what I’d been feeling, though I feel guilty bringing it up in conversation because I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining.

Obviously, engagement is not always a drag. It contains important preparation and I know I will look back on my wedding with satisfaction for the work I put into it. But me and Hayden have both brought up that we’re at the point where the newness and excitement has faded and it has become, well, a drag. I feel ready to be married. I feel ready to resume my normal life. I feel ready to have nowhere to be and to go on a date where we talk about normal people things. I feel ready for all of that.

But God is teaching me something in the waiting: there is hope. Every where I turn, people are gearing up for fall, despite the sweltering heat that remains in many areas. People are excited for newness. It’s human nature. It feels like that’s where I am in my life right now. Left to endure this heat wave, but hopeful of 60 degree weather, cozy sweaters, and baked goods.

The anticipation of small joys ahead says a lot about our hope for the future: chocolate in your nightstand, clean sheets, burning a new candle, trying a new recipe this weekend, tomorrow morning’s coffee. It helps to have things to look forward to. We scheduled a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend at a winery in November. So whenever I am feeling stressed, I think about that day. A glass of wine, the fall trees, laughing with friends. I have to remind myself that I will feel relaxed again. Something good is just around the corner.

Love, Martha

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On our car ride back to St. Louis from a friend’s wedding in Des Moines last weekend, I asked my cousin what her love languages are. Hayden is the best at providing acts of service, and I confess I love to receive those. I turned 24 on Saturday, and while I love to receive gifts, I really cherish gift-giving. It brings me so much joy seeing my friends react to what I’ve brought for them on their birthdays. Lilly answered that for her, it is a combination of words of affirmation and quality time.

I am not the sort of person who is into enneagrams, I stay away from zodiacs, and personality quizzes on Buzzfeed are a thing of the past for me. They make me feel like I’m in a box I can’t crawl out of. Maybe because I am the youngest of four girls who grew up desperately wanting to be known for her own personality. Maybe.

I’ve always wondered how I attract friends who are in fact the opposite of this. Some of my best friends feel more connected with themselves and others when aspects of someone’s personality are presented in front of them through something so convenient as an online quiz. It helps them to understand people better. I have no problem with this, and I recognize my aversion to personality quizzes is probably to do with my own insecurities.

But the love languages have always intrigued me. From a Christian lens, to love is to will the good of another. Note that loving is active, not passive, or a fleeting feeling as the world would have us believe. Thus, it’s good to be aware of the ways we actively love others, in the image that God created us. We are to complement one another in our love. But everyone gives and receives love differently. This sort of reminds me of that saying — beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As in, the love depends upon the person who is receiving the love. Not to say that love is open for interpretation. We have been given resources that tell us objectively what love is. I mean to say that while every attempt at loving is worth something, not every attempt speaks to the beloved’s love languages. For example: raking your friend’s leaves is a thoughtful gesture, but what if they didn’t need their leaves raked? What if they needed something much different? A hug maybe, or a homemade meal?

In our well-meaning attempts at serving others, it is possible to miss the mark. It is possible to become wrapped up in our own ideas of what is best for someone, before considering what they are truly needing in that moment.

In other words, it matters how people want to be loved. And in learning so, we can love others better. May we all learn from this, and may we all extend grace to ourselves and others in the times that we fail.

There is a reason that God speaks to us in the ways He knows we’re listening. To some, in the splendor of nature. To others, among friends and family. You name it, God knows it. Because He knows you and He loves you.

Signed, sealed, delivered.
🤍 Martha

Also in the Mailbox 📪

Noted 🖊

🗒 I picked up another Freida Mcfadden book for my birthday!

I finished the last one in 24 hours so I figured I’d probably enjoy another! Also on my list, the new Elin Hilderbrand novel for fall!!

🗒 I am going through a minor brown obsession.

Also snagged for my birthday — these corduroys and this necklace.

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I didn’t realize when I re-downloaded Instagram last weekend how much I missed publicly complimenting my friends. Getting to see what they’re up to, applauding them for their accomplishments, life changes, and steps in their careers. I don’t for a second regret deleting Instagram. Upon opening the app I instantly felt comparison, anxiety, and the temptation to buy things I don’t need. No, I’m not second guessing my choice.

It’s fun for a little while to update people with the goings on in my life. But we are living in a time where everything is public information, when some things are indeed private. Some things should still be sacred. So when you disappear, it seems unusual.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss anything about it. I do miss singing my friends’ praises in front of an audience. I get excited when my friends are thriving in their own lanes, following the path God has laid out for them. It’s a privilege to champion them on, even when their lives look different from mine. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from spending 4 months away from socials, it’s that the sign of a true friend is how they show up for you privately.*

I realized this when my best friend gifted me a card for my bridal shower. On the front it reads: “You Got This.” You might be thinking that is not a typical bridal shower sentiment. It’s customary for a guest to give a card printed with “Best wishes,” “showering you with love,” or something to that effect. I loved all of those cards too.

But Ellie’s card was different. You see, if I weren’t so in touch with my feelings, I’d probably say Ellie knows me better than I know myself. We’ve witnessed each other’s heartbreaks, joys, everything. She was very looped in to the intimate and personal struggles I had been going through in a season full of so much change. Something I didn’t prepare myself for going into engagement was all the change. Relationships shifted, priorities were rearranged, and some people made my life about themselves. I wasn’t sleeping, I cried a lot. I cry less now, but I still cry.

And I wouldn’t change any of it. I’d rather be on the path God meant for me than the one I had planned in my head, the one that was never meant for me. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t go through waves of trial over the past six months.

Ellie knew all of this and showed up. This card was one of the many ways she showed up. And it was quiet. She wasn’t shouting “look at me!”* Through this card, she was communicating without raising eyebrows:

I am so proud of you for sticking true to yourself during this time.

Fortunately, this platform allows me to applaud friends publicly, just as I’m doing now. But it’s far more meaningful to cheer someone on through private trials, sometimes where no one will see you. To my friends: I may not always be online, but know that I’m rooting for you, I’m proud of you, and you got this!

Signed, sealed, delivered.
🤍 Martha

Also in the Mailbox 📪

Noted 🖊

🗒 Another reminder that someone is proud of me —

🗒 This beaded necklace is $17 and comes in four colors.

Eyeing the brown for fall 👀 🤎 This is another option at $20. I am very into statement accessories at the moment.

🗒 Scarves for fall!

Skinny scarf from J.Crew, lightweight find on super sale, this oversized knit Old Navy gem, and a chocolatey polka dot beauty.

🗒 I wish I had bought this before my Shark hair dryer.

To be fair, the Shark was a Christmas present. But I may have re-thought that wish list pick if I had known about this thermal brush from Target. It is significantly quicker, cheaper, and more effective. (Maybe the barrel size on my Shark is too big for fine hair?) I wash my hair at night, air dry, and use this for about 20 minutes in the morning to achieve an effortless blowout. It also comes with a detangling brush that makes my hair look super silky, and two hair styling clips. So all of that for $60. (For reference, the Shark is about $200).

🗒 Glossier perfume lovers, assemble!

I got my free birthday gift at Sephora and was able to sample the Glossier Fleur perfume. So. Good.

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*Note: All of my friends show up for each other in many ways, not just on socials.

*Note: Not that I believe all comments on Instagram are performative. I’m simply talking about how friends show up for each other in real life.

I finished the book I bought for my bachelorette trip in 24 hours.

I saw it on the shelf at the airport after much deliberation (and 3 delays). It wasn’t a very long book, but it wasn’t short either. I was desperate for some stimulation. I knew I wanted a story that would keep me on the edge of my seat, excited to turn the page. The plot was slow and thrilling all at once. I was often confused, but all I knew is that I wanted it to go on.

And that’s kind of what my bachelorette weekend was like. That’s what this summer was like. That’s what life is like. A book, devoured in one day. As I sit here on my flight back home, I think of how quickly the time has flown right in front of my face. No pun intended.

Sometimes words fall short of being able to describe this feeling. But this past weekend I returned to the beach town I grew up traveling to in the summers, with women from all different phases of my life (I really need to watch The Five-Star Weekend). These are people who have known exactly who I’ve been at a specific moment in time: my sister, my kindergarten best friend, my cousin, my college roommate, my future sister-in-law. I realized that being with all of these women in one place was living evidence of the progression of my girlhood. Not the end of it I hope, because that would be too sad. Who’s to say if girlhood ever really ends anyway?

But at the same time, I am the girl I’ve always been. The same one who shares secrets with my sister, the one who tells my kindergarten best friend my problems, the one who listens to music with my cousin, the one who laughs with my college roommate, the one who admires the bravery of my future sister who is much younger than me. Regardless, I am saying goodbye to a part of myself, but I am welcoming a new part.

Some people find bachelorettes silly, and I confess that I have thought so myself. But we had a wonderful time! We giggled and shared stories and played music. We gabbed about our professional dreams, shopped, and had intellectual conversations. We enjoyed being girls together. I know now why many brides-to-be want to get together with their girlfriends before entering into a very new part of life. The faces that will be with you on the biggest day of your life are proof of a life well-lived. I may be a wife, mother, sister, but I will always be a girl. I think about these women who have been with me in every stage of my life, and I can’t believe just how fleeting, exciting, sad, angry, joyful, and wonderful this life has been and continues to be.

It feels like my life is a book that I started 24 hours ago. I turn 24 in two weeks. I am getting married next month. Wasn’t I just a girl daydreaming about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with? Or doing something creative for a job?

So what do we do when we’re faced with the end of a chapter? We start a new one. All I know is that I wish this book could go on forever.

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

A Letter from Martha 💌

It feels a little bit surreal to know we’re at the beginning of the end of summer. I am still resisting the strong urge for fall because I leave for my bachelorette trip this weekend to the beach! My permission to lean into autumn begins September 1st.

I have had a crazy few weekends, hence the slightly late newsletter! My bridal showers are wrapped up, and I’m coming off the tail end of moving Hayden into our new apartment! I’ll join him after the wedding, but I am so giddy to be the maker of our first home. Hayden keeps telling me he’s so excited to see my creativity flourish. I studied textiles, but my passion lies in interiors—

For indeed, a house is a little church. —St. John Chrysostom

Basically, homes should be beautiful. This doesn’t mean expensive. It means filled with love and spaces that invite people into one’s life. Being in charge of that is a job I take seriously. I have spent years collecting items, dreaming of the ways I will decorate my future home. They have been sitting in my parents’ basement for years, so this weekend has been a dream of mine being fulfilled. It is a little apartment, but it’s a home nevertheless.

After three days of cleaning, organizing, cleaning again, and then reorganizing, I am exhausted. I almost need a second to soak it all in, but in four days I leave for my trip! It’s a busy season of life, but it is a privilege to be this tired in a season I used to pray for.

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ Your reminder to break the rules.

✉️ Use the good china!!

I will never understand why some people save their china for only the most special of occasions. Every day is special!! I’ll be using my spode mugs as often as humanly possible. Mornings improved by 100%

✉️ What earthly signs remind you of God’s presence?

In honor of seeing butterflies everywhere recently:

✉️ What I’m packing for my bachelorette trip:

I have the most darling maids of honor who have planned an itinerary so perfect I could cry. My goal is to wear *almost* all white.

Saturday: Beach Day

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Sunday: Mass, brunch at the Salty Dog, and shopping

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Sunday: Sequin-themed dinner

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

A Letter from Martha 💌

The Lord has been especially kind to me these past two weekends. Both of my bridal showers were overflowing with love, blessings, and so much laughter. Seeing friends travel from near and far, hearing family sing Hayden’s praises, and receiving so many thoughtful gifts for our first home filled my heart with gratitude.

There are many wedding details I haven’t shared here yet, but the most meaningful is that our entire day is devoted to the Blessed Mother. Hayden and I have entrusted our future marriage to her intercession. From our venue choice down to the color scheme and party favors, hidden minutiae point to Mary.

At my shower, a friend who had recently returned from a pilgrimage to Fatima, Portugal, gifted me a small rosary and a heartfelt note promising her prayers for our marriage. Two and a half years ago—just before I met Hayden—I also traveled to Fatima with my friends and . I was deeply moved by that trip, walking away with a profound conviction of Mary's desire for every soul to reach Heaven.Receiving this Rosary felt like Our Lady was reaching out to me again, reminding me that she is still praying for me every step of the way.

God hears our prayers and answers them in ways far greater—and timing far better—than we could ever imagine. I am reminded of Elizabeth’s words to Mary:

Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.

And Mary’s bold response:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name. (Luke 1:46-55)

The pieces of our old prayers are scattered all around us. We just have to know where to look.

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ I own 5 versions of this sweater.

The lady in my mood board this week also influenced me to get red nails to complement my rollneck.

✉️ My friend Lily wrote about the sanctity of birthdays.

My 24th birthday is coming up in September and I have been going back and forth in my head about whether I should celebrate. Of course, I always celebrate my birthday by myself. I treat myself to a gift or a special treat, but given the general excitement going on in my life, my looming birthday has felt overwhelming, like just another event stacked on top of events! (All good things). I convinced myself not to do anything to celebrate…until I read this. Lily’s words were literally a gift from God that stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that birthdays can be sacramental.

A birthday is a time of noticing, accepting, and of course, celebrating the existence of each unique person. It’s recognizing the hand of God in our lives, He who is the “Love which supports all that exists.” What’s a birthday but an occasion when we discover how deeply loved we are?…The goodness of each person’s existence must be celebrated somewhere sometime — it’s a day set apart, a time appointed by God.

Guess I have to celebrate now. Well done, lily!! Read the post here.

✉️ I finally honed in on the bridal makeup products I’ll be using for our wedding.

My goal of the summer was to get really good at doing my own makeup because I’ll be doing my own for the wedding — linking the products I’m using!!

PSA: One thing I discovered over the winter is that I was buying warm toned products when I in fact have a cool skin tone….if you have pinkish undertones these products will work for you :)

Face

• Setting spray (Confession: I thought that setting sprays were stupid and unnecessary and just something that consumerism tries to convince us we need so we spend more money but after trying this I can admit I was wrong).

• Light coverage foundation (shade 3 cool)

• Contour (shade defined)

• I use this lipstick as cream blush, and then do this powder blush on top in pink panna cotta.

• Bronzer in 01 cool

• Translucent powder

Eye

• Eye shadow sticks: here, here

• Liquid eye shadow

• Highlight for the inner corner of the eyes (rose quartz)

• My $5 brow gel that I purchase over and over again (I buy in the shade deep brown). I also believe this is better than Boy Brow from Glossier. If you’ve seen my eye brows in person, you’d believe me when I say I have tried almost every popular brow product out there and I’d still buy the $5 one, Benefit is a close second.

• My favorite mascara, my eyelash curler

Lip

• Lip trio: this liner, this lipstick, this gloss (looks like your natural lip color but better)

✉️ I love this watch.

$24!

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The Almighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name.

Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

A Letter from Martha 💌

It’s August. Let that sink in. We have reached the eighth month of the year. I love this quote in this week’s mood board:

I was something the sun left behind on purpose.

Doesn’t that just make you want to take a deep breath and pause time? I have always been a fall person. No hate to summer, I just tire of it quickly. There is so much excitement that comes with fall this year! I keep trying to speed through time, but we’re left where we are on purpose. Let’s make this August sweet and slow.

Last Wednesday was the feast of my patroness, St. Martha.

Every year on this day, my Irish Catholic family swarms my phone with texts reminding me that I’m anxious, worried, and need to go cook and clean (all in good fun). But joking aside, the day has become a spiritual anniversary for me.

I’ve always felt a pull toward Martha. Yes, we share a name and anxious tendencies. (And according to legend, she also tamed a dragon in France. I digress.) But she also proclaims in faith who Jesus is. Martha goes to meet Jesus, who loves her, while grieving a tragic and sorrowful loss and says:

Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, the One who is coming into the world. (John 11:27)

Given where my prayer life has been lately, Martha’s words were the exact reminder I needed. Lately, it’s been more challenging to trust God in the ways He invites me to. I needed her reminder to go out and meet Him, amid the sorrows of everyday life. To proclaim that He is the Christ, and everything that comes with that proclamation. To trust that His plan is better than ours, to trust in His goodness, to trust in His justice, and to desire obedience to Him in a season where control feels so much easier.

On her feast day, my college parish priest nudged me to celebrate: “Go get yourself a sweet treat and ask big graces from your patroness.”

On my walk, I felt a gentle push from the Holy Spirit to do just that. I took myself on a solo ice cream date, ordered a cup with rainbow sprinkles, and sat outside in quiet solitude. Watching the birds fly by and the cars pass, I sat with Martha. For the first time in a while, I felt a peace that this earth doesn’t provide.

I love my namesake. She continuously hands me lessons in humility, courage, and faith, and I know she’s interceding for me.

So take this as your nudge: sometimes a Wednesday evening is the special occasion. Take yourself on a drive, order an ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, and ask big graces from the friends who want you in Heaven the most.

St. Martha, pray for us!

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ Our engagement pictures are everything I dreamt of 🦢

Our dear friend Kiera made us feel like we were in the Love Story music video. I am so excited to fill our home with these. 🤍

view our gallery here

✉️ One “unfortunately worth it” purchase I’m always glad I made…

My Longchamp tote bag. I purchased this when I was 14 (!!) and I still use it to this day. I’m adding to my “Unfortunately Worth It” list. And believe me it is very hard to make it on there. My other contenders:

✉️ This brown hoodie and sweatpants set caught my eye…and it’s on sale!

The polka dots are everything to me.

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

A Letter from Martha 💌

Last week I made an effort to go on a post-dinner walk almost every day. It’s amazing how it quickly became the most enjoyable 20 minutes of my day. I first built this habit back in high school, and even though my life has changed drastically over the past five years, I always find my way back to this ritual. Sometimes I’ll listen to music, but most of the time, I leave my phone behind and spend the stroll in prayer or reflecting on the day.

One of these walks started out as ordinary as any other, but I soon found myself getting caught up in thoughts about the future—desperately waiting for my dreams to become reality.

I stopped in my tracks. Or rather, grace hit me softly, whispering:

Think about how far you’ve come in the last twelve months. Last year’s dreams are today’s realities.

We’re so quick to forget that we are presently living our dreams. The person I prayed for is now my fiance. I graduated college. The loneliness of the postgrad season has fizzled (for the most part). I’m moving out of my parents’ house this fall. I’ve cultivated a support system I truly love.

God knows our desires, but He also wants us to pause and thank Him for the answered prayers.

Ask yourself this week: What dreams am I living right now?

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ Old Navy’s newest collection is western-inspired, and dare I say perfect for fall.

I am not ready to be thinking about fall yet, but I love how these could work as transitional wardrobe pieces. They also remind me so much of Doen’s dresses, usually costing upwards of $200. Steal!!

✉️ Trending color scheme alert!

I went shopping last week and saw blue and brown patterns everywhere!? I kind of love it. I got this sweatshirt. I really wanted this off-the-shoulder top from Target, but they were out of my size.

✉️ Going through a minor lamp obsession phase.

Apartment furniture hunting has me drooling over lamps. Specifically, box pleat lampshades (these are much more affordable compared to the Cielle shade) and this Serena and Lily lamp dupe for $40.

✉️ High up on my wishlist: The Jane Birkin basket bag 🧺

I see affordable variations of these bags on Etsy alllll the time (here, here). The women of Pinterest look so chic sporting similar versions.

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Martha

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A Letter from Martha 💌

What a long three weeks it has been away from you! I spent the last few weeks attempting to soak in the last bits of calm before the wedding rush and other life-altering events in August. This included celebrating Hayden’s 23rd birthday and going on his family’s annual lake trip. Ever since getting engaged, I’ve been looking forward to July, and at the same time wanting it to pass quickly. It has always been the long desert stretch, the waiting stage where nothing wedding related needs to happen. Now that we’re halfway through, I’m realizing just how lovely doing nothing has been, and I’m awaiting August in uneasy anticipation. I know that once it gets here, life will start to pick up. I have bridal showers, my first dress fitting, my bridal hair trial, my bachelorette trip, moving Hayden into what will be our first apartment together. It all feels a little overwhelming when I think about it too much. Hence the need to spend some time away from my laptop and just soak it all in. Still, I am so excited. The best is yet to come.

Another reason that I spent some time away from Substack was a lack of inspiration. It’s hard to produce any kind of content when I go through a creativity lull because I don’t think it’s fair to myself or the reader. In times like that I always remind myself that when the creative spark is quiet, don’t force it. Like I mentioned to you in these posts from my archives:

There is no deadline for creativity. Creativity does not wait to be completed, it simply sits, beckoning us to explore its possibilities.

Creativity comes in waves. It always waits for you. It never goes anywhere.

Much like the tide retreats and comes back more powerful than ever. Much like our relationship with our own Creator. Trust you will both return to each other. We are creations made in the likeness of the source of creativity. The moment you try to force that identity, you will see it as a chore and grow resentful. What a silly way to ruin something we were made to do.

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ Have you seen the 2007 and 1997 J.Crew reissues?

The brand re-released several silhouettes and prints from the archives.

✉️ Reminder that the St. Francis Prayer exists!

I used to pray this all the time and I just rediscovered it at Mass last week. Saints Clare and Francis are near and dear to my heart, and praying this genuinely helps me let go of resentment.

✉️ What’s the best that could happen?

Obsessed with this needlepoint pillow.

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

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A Letter from Martha 💌

Wishing you a very happy and safe holiday this upcoming weekend 🇺🇸 My parish held the annual Totus Tuus retreat last week, so mass was filled with about 50 little kids every day. I attended daily mass on Friday, feeling dissatisified with how my spiritual life has been for the past few weeks. I haven’t been making time for prayer, letting Jesus love me. Do you ever feel so deeply what you want to ask of God but struggle to put it into words? So much that you just sit there, hoping He will come to you? It was during the blessing of the bread and wine that I was doing this, when the littles sang the exact prayer I couldn’t find the words for —

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary.

Over and over. Of course, they rehearsed this. Their childlike faith reminded me to look to their example.

I was humbled as I felt their prayer washing over me. All that children have to do is receive. Receive from their parents. The world sees them as vulnerable and at times helpless, but God sees them as perfect in their dependence. It’s so often that I see little girls look to me, as I once did when I was their age. I looked at the women I wanted to be like, in awe. And I see it as my responsibility to carry myself with as much virtue as possible, hoping to live up to the title of role model. This is what I want to do if I have daughters.

But how often do I look to children, and imitate their example? Do I keep in mind that the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them? I was reminded by these little girls and boys that they have as much to teach me as I have to teach them.

Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. - Matthew 19:14

We don’t always have to have the words. Sometimes we are invited to just sit and receive, because we are all children in His eyes.

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ As we continue to grow, it would be helpful for me to know—

✉️ Outfits for the Fourth 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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For watching fireworks: $12 striped dress and $21 plaid dress

For a pool / lake day: Polka dot cover up, contrast one piece

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

shop more fashion buys here

A Letter from Martha 💌

I hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day weekend 🤍 Last week, my dad, Hayden, and I picked up a kitchen table that I bought from one of my best friends. It will soon go in our first apartment, and hopefully stay with us for years to come. It’s a perfect table. Pre-loved in the best way. There’s been such a desire on my heart to find everything we need as quickly as possible for our first home. It must be the beauty-appreciating, interior-loving homemaker in me. But I feel rushed to find what we need quickly.

We don’t have a sofa, a place for visitors to sleep should they come visit. We don’t have a bed frame, a mattress, or nightstands. We don’t have enough chairs to host a party. It’s so easy to focus on what we don’t have. So easy to think the time won’t pass quickly enough. So easy to scramble and make an idol of hurry instead of surrendering the big and the small to the Lord. It was a long search for a table, one we could afford. One we could transport with as much ease as possible for our upcoming move. But once we got the table, I was reminded again that it always works out. All of the little details that need to happen will come together. God will make it happen. Yes, we don’t have all of those things. But we have a table. And that’s enough for now.

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ New goal: get to 200 free subscribers by the end of June.

If this publication has touched you in any way, I would be honored if you’d share it with a friend. We’re growing!

✉️ A very Meredith Blake-esque find:

This workout set (top, leggings) is so cute.

✉️ Somewhere beyond the sea 🦞🐚

Dreaming of this marine life intarsia for summer —

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Signed, sealed, delivered 💌
Martha

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A Letter from Martha 💌

It was a fateful night last week that I had reached another one of my infamous breaking points. I told Hayden over FaceTime my gripes, what was making me weary. *I hope you have learned by now you can expect honesty from me as well as encouragement. This isn’t a place where I pretend everything is fine all the time.

Hayden has many great qualities, but perhaps the best one is his timing with wisdom. Sometimes he just hits the nail right on the head. He told me via screen “do whatever you can to take care of yourself tomorrow, sleep in, whatever it is.” Something about that just hit me right to my core, partly because of the tug on my heart when I think about how I’ve found a man who knows what I need. But I also realized that in recent weeks I had seriously neglected many of the things I not only want to do, but need to do to keep myself sane. Like how I haven’t actually worked out in probably a month, and I somehow started justifying walking around at work all day so I could get out of walking outside for my own benefit. Without my phone, without music. It had been weeks since I had just gone outside to listen to my own thoughts. I was putting prayer to the side. I was scrolling on my phone more. I was not eating foods that were nourishing my body. I was not prioritizing the right things. Oh, how I had devolved into idolizing sloth and gluttony. (Dramatic of me, maybe, but I think not).

All the little things I do to take care of myself somehow slipped through the cracks, and I convinced myself it was okay, that some other areas in my life were making up for it. Why did I convince myself that was okay? Perhaps because I confused what I thought was important with what is actually vital to living a healthy life, physically, spiritually, and mentally. And this reality check from my fiance came at the perfect time because it made me realize the basic fundamentals of taking care of myself are glass (they can’t be dropped without breaking) and things like scrolling and bingeing are plastic—droppable.

If I have 15 minutes to go on my phone I sure as hell have 15 to walk, stretch, eat some damn yogurt with fruit in it, or read a book. I actually do have time to pray, go to bed at a decent hour, and manage my stress instead of feeding into it. I am not perfect, and by the time you’re reading this I still won’t be. I just hope I’ve chosen to pick up at least one piece of glass from the floor, and like, go for a walk maybe? Take my time in the shower? Stretch for 5 minutes? Bottom line: Hayden is wise, and I need to do whatever I can to take care of myself. (Editor’s note: this advice also came at the perfect time because I got hit with a cold shortly thereafter).

In the Mailbox 📮

✉️ Dua Lipa and Callum Turner’s wedding pictures have been living rent free in my head!!

Her custom Schiaparrelli look from May 31st is reminiscent of the 50’s and is exactly what a woman should wear for a civil ceremony. I’m so excited to see more pictures from their festivities in Sicily —

I loved this take on the wedding being an act of rebellion —

The Take Home Bag

Dua Lipa’s Vintage Wedding Look is a Quiet Act of Rebellion

While talks of Dua Lipa’s secret London civil wedding have taken up much of our feed space, and, let’s be honest — mental space — I keep returning to her custom couture look. The gloves, the hat, the silhouette…an answer to my, somewhat, lifelong prayer that the fashion I watched in all my Audrey Hepburn movies growing up would somehow become popular ag…

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5 months ago · 7 likes · 3 comments · Heather Spinks

✉️ I just rediscovered Baublebar.

I love how large, chunky, colorful jewelry + bags have been sweeping the accessory world for some time now. My cousin and I were discussing our goals for summer:

01. Master the art of makeup—for my upcoming weddin

02. Get toned—also for my upcoming wedding

03. Up our jewelry game—for no other reason than wanting the act of getting dressed to be FUN, which I talk more about here:

Lilly purchased this necklace and inspired me to get this beaded one with a jewel detail. Other statement accessories I’m eyeing for summer full of chunky beads, fun details, and color:

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+ The aforementioned necklace I bought, in pink!

+ These huggie earrings are $28 and would pair well with almost any outfit.

+ $68 dupe for $158 HART bezel drop earrings.

+ The colors on this tote are perfect.

+ Shell details galore — white and blue (above) and similar blue and red ones from Madewell.

✉️ H&M’s summer drop is full of color — the most whimsical pieces!

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Martha

P.S. You can shop my recommended products here.

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Monday: Rainiest day we’ve had in a while

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Wednesday: Coffee shop before work

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Thursday: Sick day at home

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Andddd I was sick for the rest of the week!

P.S. You can shop my recommended products here.

Martha

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I used to plan out my outfits a week ahead of time.

It was probably the most Type A thing about me. Every Sunday, I would peruse my closet for a color scheme I wanted to go with, and decide on my outfits for that week. It worked really well at the time.

When I started working remotely full-time, the way I dressed shifted, and I soon lost the magic of dressing. I was home most days, so I was usually wearing comfortable sweaters or leggings—and before you say “you can still get dressed up at home” trust I know that, it just isn’t as practical in execution. I looked at my closet, grieving the opportunities that I once had to express myself in the best way I knew how.

It was only until Lent of this year, that I regained my zest for getting dressed everyday. In short, my Lenten sacrifice was inessential spending, and my goal was to get back into the practice of getting dressed from what was already in my own closet. You can read more about that here:

Now that I am actually going somewhere for work every day, I sometimes get overwhelmed at the thought of picking an outfit. There is already so much to worry about in our day to day lives. I want to look at my closet and feel an ease, like I can exhale. Like the first decision I make for the day will be quick and true to my style. I want to not only feel confident, but like I’m having fun! Like I’m playing dress up as a little kid all over again every day, but attainable, manageable. So, I’m giving myself a challenge: getting dressed in 5 pieces or less everyday. I actually already started by sharing this post last week:

I hope you’ll join me in this creative challenge. I plan on bringing these posts to Substack every week to hold me accountable. Hopefully it revives a sense of whimsy, creative discipline, and most of all FUN while getting dressed!

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Martha

P.S. You can shop my recommended products here.

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A letter from Martha 💌

Happy Monday to almost 150 of you ❤️ Wow I am humbled that you take the time out of your day to read what I write. Yes, you!! I’ve always known that Substack is different from the other forms of media. It’s relational, and it has the potential to connect us with kindred souls, which has made posting online wholesome again—at least, it has for me. Knowing this, though, I was still aware back when I started this publication that my little corner over here may never reach 100 people, let alone thousands. And I was okay with that. I still am. Sometimes I compare myself. I think: will I ever reach this precious algorithm? But for the most part, I take joy out of knowing I have touched at least one person.

Yet we move onward. I read somewhere on here (paraphrased) that the trick to being on Substack is not writing what you think people want to hear, it’s writing what you want consistently enough for the right audience to find you. There is no fast track. You have to keep showing up. And after much patience, I know we have found each other. This note I posted a few weeks ago has garnered enough attention to completely humble me beyond what I can express.

It is so scary to start writing, especially when your audience starts to grow. This newsletter started with a shortlist of friends and family, and now over 4,000 of you resonated with something I had to say. Authors of my favorite publications have reached out to me to tell me my words have meant something to them. liked one of my notes!!! (AH!) Did I mention it means the world?! The smallest things mean the most.

I’ve learned that our audience within the app is different than the audience that receives our newsletters, and it means even more to me that you have committed to give me your attention for just a few minutes on your Monday. I know very well that your time is precious, and you have taught me to give my time freely to those who have something to say.

A new subscriber asked me if I had any insight into growing readership. I am not the most qualified person to give advice in that area, but I know this: if you are one of the kind that writes or creates, you are in the right place. And I hope you let this encourage you. Please keep creating!! It will pay off, not just in engagement, but in the grace to see beauty in everything. For the sake of creating. Or, rather, co-creating with the One who created us. Your audience will find you.

In the Mailbox 📪

💌 Thoughts on getting better at being alone:

💌 Last week I mentioned trying to get back into reading for the summer. I borrowed “The Women” from my friend, and realized shortly after that I never read “Sunrise on the Reaping.” And, knowing that the movie is coming out this fall (not to mention that my 12-year-old self would be appalled I never read it), I started listening to the audiobook on my drive up to Chicago. It was a semi-failed attempt. I think I just need the physical book to appreciate it. (Side note: Does anyone else not like audiobooks? Hayden loves them so I thought I would give it a try but I just had to rewind every 30 seconds!!! Thank you for coming to my anti-audiobook Ted Talk). Anyways, I bit the bullet and purchased.

(Ellie, if you’re reading this I promise I am also going to ready the book you loaned me).

💌 My weekend brought me the gift of appreciating getting out of my normal routine.

I think the desire not to spend money these days tends to keep me restricted to the comforts of my home, and I forget about all of the activities that I can indulge in free of cost! So this summer one of my goals is to get out and enjoy those. The farmer’s market is first on my list.

💌 My friend Caroline wrote an amazing piece:

Mere Reality

From the Excessive Need to be Fashionable

I wasn’t searching particularly for humility in my Magnificat yesterday, yet that is exactly what found me. Leave it to St. Thomas Aquinas…

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5 months ago · 9 likes · 4 comments · Caroline Schultz

💌 A practice in gratitude:

Special Delivery 📦

My picks from J.Crew’s sale are an extra 30% off with code SHOPSALE —

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01. Striped rattan clutch.

02. Love these tees! The pink and green are on sale, as well as a fun red stripe.

03. Polka dot dress for summer with a gorgeous waist.

04. Classic cotton poplin top.

05. This entire outfit is on sale. I love how fun the skirt is and the elbow length sleeves on the sweater.

06. Gingham two piece swim: top + bottoms.

07. This summer dress comes to an amazing price in the mint color.

08. Woven bucket bag.

And other chic summer buys —

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01. These heels are perfect for summer fun!! On sale and come in different colors.

02. This butter yellow dress is $23.

03. Love this tank.

04. Loeffler Randall sandal dupe.

05. Obsessed with this shell clutch.

💌 More fashion related content here:

Signed, sealed, delivered!
Martha

P.S. You can shop my recommended products here.

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Tuesday: Mini try-on: my dream $59 bridal dress

01. The dress

02. These heels (also on sale)

Thursday: Farmer’s market, lunch with a friend, and pool

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Friday: Breaking out the shell necklace for summer

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Saturday: Rollneck summer

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P.S. You can shop my recommended products here.

xo!!

Martha

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It feels like it’s been so long since I shared content that was exclusively fashion related, but here we are! The beginning of June marks the bringing out of the summer wardrobe. The days are finally reflecting hot and humid temperatures and I’ve noticed that the girls are reaching for airy, chic, and easy outfits thus far. Think light fabrics like linen and cotton voile, straw accessories, easy dresses, and pops of red sprinkled throughout.

Below, I’ve curated a chic summer capsule full of wardrobe staples for hot days, nice dinners, and lounging waterside —

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1. Pops of red: here, here, here, here

2. Straw: here, here, and here

3. Cotton voile: here, here, and here

4. Oval sunglasses 5. Classic tees

6. One piece swim

7. Strappy sandals (wow these are such a great Loeffler Randall dupe)

8. Dainty jewelry

9. Easy dresses: here ($20!!!) and here

10. White linen / denim: here, here, and here

Happy shopping!!

Martha

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