Every time I write, post, or speak about my experience, it brings more eyes and more attention. More people are watching, which gets at the heart of my tension. I still haven’t figured out a balance between operating in the background and being in the spotlight. At the same time, I’m becoming more aware of the responsibility that comes with increased visibility.

Growing up, I quickly realized that I operated differently when I was in the background versus the forefront. During middle school basketball games, I’d feel the knots in my stomach anytime family members came to watch me play. I’d catch a pass and I would instantly feel unsteady. I just knew I would drop the ball at any second.

Things were much easier when I was playing in the orchestra. There, I could blend in and hide in the ensemble. That would change whenever I had a cello solo. The nervous feeling of all eyes on me would resurface. Thankfully, I’d usually get into enough of a musical flow to tune out the distractions and play well.

When I’m in the background, I’m less distracted. I’m not consumed with performing for others. In the background, I can simply focus on the task at hand. Over the years, I’ve figured out effective ways to slip into this mode. I served as the vice president of my high school senior class, working behind the scenes to organize events like our year-end baccalaureate service. During high school, I also volunteered in the child life wing of a children’s hospital, where I had lots of one-on-one time with kids who were there battling chronic illnesses. In grad school, I tutored high school students, again getting one-on-one time in the background. My approach has worked pretty well, especially for someone who’s introverted and somewhat reserved.

To this day, I find great joy in mentoring students, early-career professors, and other scientists, which often happens in one-on-one or small group conversations. It doesn’t happen in public, and I can tailor my guidance to each individual.

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The Unavoidable Spotlight?

Things have shifted over the last few years. It’s becoming increasingly hard for me to avoid the spotlight. I still remember feeling shocked a few years ago, as I encountered a large trifold platform on the MIT campus, with my face plastered on it. I was there to give a talk. “Why is this here?!” I thought. Of course, I knew exactly why it was there. The MIT students were advertising my upcoming talk on campus. For some reason, I still felt surprised by the sign. On other campuses, I’ve been greeted by large TV screens with close-up pictures of my face! At one school, the tickets that were given out to students, faculty, staff and community members all had a picture of my face. Was that really necessary?!

It might sound silly to say I can’t avoid the spotlight—after all, I could just say no. The problem is that I wouldn’t be taking full advantage of the opportunities I have to elevate conversations about neuroscience, community, and faith. I’d be pulling back from speaking to audiences about the necessity of holistic approaches to emotional wellness and mental health. I’d miss opportunities to engage with the public, and to grown and refine my scientific communication.

Lessons Learned

As I continue in this work in the spotlight, I have thankfully learned some lessons along the way. First, I’ve learned to step out even when I’m uncomfortable doing so. Instead of only working contently in the background, I’m letting my passion and expertise out in front of others, even if I internally want to hide.

Second, I’ve learned to break things down into manageable chunks. If I’m in a room with lots of people, I focus on engaging with a few people at a time. If I’m speaking on stage to hundreds of people, I imagine that I’m speaking to each person individually.

Third, I’ve learned to work more effectively with my teams. Even w I’m the most visible person, I’m not stepping into the spotlight alone. I rely on partnerships with host groups on various campuses, faith communities, and my own podcast team. Knowing I have a team alongside me makes stepping into the spotlight much less daunting.

None of this is to imply that any one of us needs to operate in the spotlight to be impactful. There are so many who are making huge impacts in individual lives and in society at large without a spotlight, fanfare, or high visibility. We each need to walk out our calling with purpose and intention. For me, I have to acknowledge that this pull into the spotlight has allowed me to bring these important conversations into new spaces and has led to wonderful partnerships with a range of passionate and influential individuals. More importantly, I’ve seen how this work has impacted people in communities, churches, and on campuses across the country.

A Surprising Distinguishing Honor

Recently, I received a Distinguished Alumni Award from my childhood school district. It was given in recognition of my research, education and mental health advocacy contributions - both in the background and in the spotlight.

In addition to receiving the award and giving a keynote, I had the opportunity to engage with community members. As I wrote on social media, it was “encouraging to be in conversation with high school students and staff from my alma mater. I’m thankful for how willingly they shared their experiences and asked insightful and practical questions. It was also wonderful to be in community as I received this distinguished alumni award. I was touched to have family members and former classmates, teachers and administrators celebrating alongside me.”

It was surreal to receive this distinguished alumni award. As I reflected in my keynote, “Am I really distinguished? Have I been out of high school long enough to be a distinguished alumnus?” Every time I asked this question, people said yes.

I’m grateful for the recognition and honored to continue this meaningful work.

New Addy Hour Podcast Season.

Stay tuned as we launch a new season of the Addy Hour podcast. Our first episode of the season was recorded in front of a live audience on the Yale University campus. I hosted Grammy Award-winning recording artist, New York Time bestselling author, podcast host, and thought leader for a dynamic conversation on the tension between ambition and wellness. The episode drops October 28th. Stay tuned.

“Nii, what should I do?”

As a leader and mentor, I can’t count the number of times people have asked me this question. Sometimes I hear it from a team member who’s hit a crossroads in their research project. They need to decide what direction to pursue next, and so they ask, “Nii, what should I do?” Other times, I’m guiding people through interpersonal conflicts. They’ve made multiple attempts to resolve a situation, but nothing is working. So, they reach out and ask, “Nii, what should I do?” Other times, people have sought me out for career guidance. They have interests in several science-related fields, but they’re having a hard time choosing what to pursue. Should they explore a biomedical research career, a teaching-focused career, or both? Or maybe they should consider opportunities in the pharmaceutical industry, or science policy positions in the government. Here again, they ask, “Nii, what should I do?”

You’d think I’d be honored, and perhaps even flattered, by people’s questions. After all, when people ask me, “what should I do?” they’re showing that they value my input. They’re also expecting that I’ll give them a helpful answer.

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Instead of feeling flattered, I usually feel irritated. I know that sounds odd. Why would I be annoyed by the question, especially as someone who claims to be an invested mentor? Well, the question grates against my mentoring philosophy. One of my primary goals, as a mentor, is to equip people with the skills to effectively navigate their training and career journeys. I’d rather help people think through their challenges, than tell them what to do. I’d much rather help them learn the processes of problem solving, instead of telling them exactly how to solve the problem.

But every once in a while, I give in and tell people what to do. I tell them what specific research question to pursue. I tell them what specific career is worth pursuing in their situation. Or I tell them exactly how to address their interpersonal conflicts.

After a while, I started realizing what was happening. When I tell people what to do, I’m helping them realize what they really want to do in the first place. When my directive doesn’t resonate with people, it actually gives them a clearer sense of how they want to move forward.

In the long run, it’s good for people to realize how they want to move forward. But it’s also discouraging if people continually ignore my advice. Over time, I’ve started taking a different approach. When people ask, “Nii, what should I do?” I answer with a question of my own, “What’s your goal?”

Even though people are immediately annoyed that I’m answering their question with a question, I don’t stop. Instead, I get more specific. What are your goals in this research project? What are your goals for your relationship with your classmates? What are your goals for your relationship with your mentor? What are your career goals? What are your passions? What type of environment do you want to work in?

Through these conversations, I’ve helped people think through their goals and motivations so they can ultimately arrive at a sound decision. And yet, I’ve also started to see the limitations of walking people through this decision process. Sometimes, I just need to be direct.

In my mental health advocacy role, more than one parent has asked me how to support a child navigating through mental health challenges. In my media and podcast interviews, show hosts have asked me how to advise people working through addiction, excessive social media use, depression, lack of motivation, pornography, or a host of other challenges. In these moments, it’s not the time for me to probe a parent or interviewer about all the reasons behind their question. I need to give direct answers to their direct questions. When students or other professors are at a crossroads, I need to provide direct guidance to help them avoid the mistakes that I and others have made in the past. These days, when mentees ask, “what should I do?” I joke that I’m about to give them a list of homework. To my pleasant surprise, people are listening, thanking me, and benefiting from my direct approach.

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As an exercise, I encourage you to reflect on how you react when people ask you for advice. What responses have you found to be helpful? What types of responses haven’t been helpful, or maybe even made things worse? There’s no “one-size-fits-all”, when it comes to giving advice. Clearly, your advice will vary depending on the situation, the person you’re talking to, your perspective, and so much more. At the same time, it’s still helpful to reflect on this question, so you can continue to meet people where they’re at. Hopefully, you’ll respond with grace, sincerity, and effectiveness.

Recent Happenings

This season’s Addy Hour podcast conversations have been a breath of fresh air. I’m continuously impressed by my guests’ willingness to dig deep into life-changing topics. The discussions have left me speechless at times, even while I’m hosting the podcast!

I encourage you to check out my most recent episode, “Do men really know how to connect?” with guests Carvens Lissaint and Dr. Maliek Blade. As Dr. Blade shares, this episode “is about men, but it’s for men and women.” And as Carvens poignantly reflects, “If you’re interested in what it looks like to be healthy, whole, and alive, this episode is for you.”

In this episode, we ask the question, do we as men really know how to connect? Do we know how to effectively express, process and manage our emotions? In this episode, we reflect on what it means to be in deep relationship, and why so many of us avoid it as men. We delve into the tension that many men experience between “what you do” and “who you are.” You’ll hear honest personal stories, as we lean into the mixed bag that comes with success, accolades and notoriety. We don’t shy away from talking about the pain of isolation, why it’s so easy to slip into, and how to effectively move into the joy that comes from being in authentic community. If you’re a man or you care about the men in your life, this episode is for you!

I could attempt to answer this question in so many different ways, especially in this day and age when it seems the world is continuously on fire, both literally and figuratively. The questions remain. Do we care anymore? Do we care about each other as human beings? Or do we let our political persuasions, passions and ideals override our basic needs for care and community? This week, I’m inviting you into my world. I’m inviting you to consider ways we can care for one another, especially when it comes to emotional and mental wellness, navigating mental illness, or both.

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Whenever I tell people what I do for a living, it’s always a conversation starter. People hear that I’m a neuroscientist, and they’re ready with their list of questions. It’s not surprising. As human beings, we have an inherent interest in our own brains and how they work. After all, this unseen and powerful organ is central to how we perceive, react to and interact with the world. As a neuroscientist and researcher, I’ll be the first to acknowledge my fascination with the brain. I’m particularly intrigued by how the brain guides our behaviors and actions. Whenever I’m speaking to the general public about neuroscience research, I also talk about how much we can learn about human behavior through humane studies of behavior in other species, like mice and rats.

That may sound surprising, given all the complexities of our human behavior and social interactions. But I’ve also seen this play out in a number of ways. After giving a public facing research talk years ago, a mother emailed me to share some surprising reflections. In my talk, I described both rodent behavior and human clinical research on addiction. In her follow up message, this mom shared how my presentation on the neurobiology of rat behavior, in the context of substance use, helped her understand her son’s challenges with addiction. Hearing about rodent brain biology and behavior helped her understand why her son behaved in certain ways. She came away with a deeper appreciation for what was happening in his brain after years of substance use, and how it was impacting and changing his behavior. It also gave her hope, as she heard about ways to support him, based on principles from neuroscience, psychology, community engagement, and faith and spiritual practices.

As I previously shared in a Jude 3 Project podcast interview with Lisa Fields, neuroscience research on addiction-related cellular, molecular and behavioral responses in rodents also provides scientific insights that can apply across various types of addiction - from substance misuse to internet addiction to pornography. One powerful theme from these research studies is the importance of community. In fact, research in rodents has provided insights into the molecular processes in the brain that facilitate community building, and consolatory behavior in stressful situations. Many of the same molecular processes that are protective against substance misuse are also helpful for navigating stressful situations. When was also consider findings from clinical studies, we see the benefits of integrating psychological and psychiatric tools, as well as tools from our spiritual practices and faith traditions. All of these reflect the neuroscience of caring and remind us of the importance of community and how we care for one another.

As with many things worth pursuing in life, this research can be arduous at times. Our research relies on teams of people. Not just the individuals performing the research, but those providing the infrastructure and support to sustain that research. This includes teams of folks who take care of seemingly mundane tasks - like maintaining and cleaning equipment, daily checks of room conditions in our experimental spaces, certification of lab equipment, any number of regulatory checks and procedures, and so much more. It’s so easy to overlook these individuals and these tasks. And yet their work is essential for us to continue our research.

I remember my interactions with one of our facilities staff members, whom I call John, early in my career. I’d typically see John once or twice a week, when he would stop by our lab to organize, clean equipment, swap out dirty equipment, and perform general inventory checks amongst other tasks. There was nothing glamorous about the work. But John was always diligent. There were times he’d get behind schedule, because of the amount of work he had to complete in other labs and other facilities. On those busy days, he’d share honestly about his hectic schedule, but still perform his work thoroughly, without cutting corners.

One day, while he was cleaning equipment, I felt compelled to express my gratitude,

• “Thanks so much for your diligence. I really appreciate the way you go about your work, and how you always check in to make sure that we have everything we need.”

I didn’t think much of my comment at the time. But a few weeks later, John stopped me in the hallway. He had a slightly awkward look on his face, and I wondered if I’d done something wrong.

• “You know that time that you stopped me and said thanks. Well, I wanted to thank you for saying that. That really meant a lot to me, especially coming from someone like you.”

I had to catch myself for a moment, “Someone like me?” As an early career professor, I was focused on trying to establish my career. I was operating in survival mode. I wasn’t thinking about anyone looking up to me, let alone the folks that supported our research. My small comment of appreciation went further than I had anticipated.

It’s so important that we actually convey our gratitude to others. While it’s easy to ignore, research has shown that these expressions of gratitude benefit both the person receiving the gratitude and the person expressing it. Gratitude has certainly been a key piece of my podcast journey. I’m grateful for each and every guest who has graciously taken time out of their busy schedules to join me in conversation. I’m continually in awe of the ways my guests’ generously and bravely share their stories.

I’m truly blessed to host and facilitate these deeply meaningful discussions. And yet, there are times I wonder if the conversations are reaching far enough. Is the podcast reaching those who need to hear it? Are enough people benefiting from the wealth of information, wisdom, insight being shared on the show?

Without fail, when I slip into these periods of doubt, I’ll get an email, hear a conversation, or see a comment reminding me why I do what I do. Sometimes it’s a note of gratitude about a topic we’ve discussed on the podcast. Other times, it’s someone literally chasing me down in the hallway to tell me how much my guest’s experience resonated with them. Other times, it’s a message letting me know how my comments equipped someone with a deeper understanding of the intersection of mental health and faith. Each and every time, your expressions of gratitude encourage me to keep on.

I say all of this to say thank you!

I also have a request. If you’re enjoying or feeling blessed by these podcast conversations, please share it with others. If you know people in your life who would benefit from these meaningful discussions, please share it with them.

As I’ve jumped back into podcast hosting, I’m feeling even more passionate about how important these conversations are for society. This is not because I have so many words of wisdom to share. But because I’m blessed to host so many dynamic advocates and leaders, with powerful lived experience and expertise to share with the world!

I’ll continue to do my part to elevate their voices, even while I continue to learn from them as well.

Recent happenings

My most recent podcast episode speaks powerfully to the importance of community. I hosted Corey Minor Smith and Vicky Sigworth for a conversation called “Severe Mental Illness in Loved Ones - Navigating Resources, Support & the Care System.”

In this episode, I promise that you’ll learn something you can carry for the rest of your life – whether you’ve experienced severe mental illness or not, and whether someone in your life has severe mental illness or not.

Join in for this deeply honest, revealing and empowering conversation as these two pioneering women graciously share their stories and bring you into their world. We highlight the topic of severe mental illness to raise awareness and bring greater understanding. My guests also share critical resources and information for everyone, especially those with loved ones, friends or others you know living with severe mental illness. We lean into the tensions that arise between supporting others and sustaining your own health, mental health and wellness. We also consider some alarming statistics, especially when it comes to medication, caregiving, and illness. Even so, it’s no surprise that the power of community shows up throughout our discussion. Get ready to be inspired and equipped, as our guests share words of wisdom from their experience, knowledge, and emerging friendship.

A special welcome to my new readers and subscribers. And as always, thanks to all my returning subscribers for your ongoing engagement and support. In this newsletter, I write about my journey as a scientist, professor, mentor, leader, mental health advocate, and man of faith. It’s my hope that my story can inspire, encourage, and challenge you, as I share honestly about my joys, pains, and areas of growth.

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This week, I’m taking a slight detour from my usual writing to share that I finally released a new Addy Hour podcast episode! It’s been about 18 months since my last episode. Suffice it to say, it’s been a journey back to the podcast. It’s definitely time time to start these conversations again. There are some really important and timely topics that we’ll bring to the forefront this season.

As I’ve listened to some of my favorite podcasts over the past year, I’ve been feeling the itch to host podcast conversations again. I’ve also been encouraged to see people talking about real life ups and downs, while also leaning into the mental health conversation. Two of my favorite podcast/video conversations are the Pivot Podcast (featuring NFL veterans Ryan Clark, Channing Crowder, and Fred Taylor), and Kirk Franklin’s Den of Kings. These dynamic conversations interweave many layers of life experience, leadership, community, parenting, service, business, and so much more. In addition, the hosts masterfully create space for guests to share their strategies for maintaining mental wellness and the tools they use to navigate emotional and mental health challenges.

In a way, listening to other people’s podcasts has also reminded me of the unique flavor I’ve been able to add to the podcast landscape through the Addy Hour. So I’m excited to be back, hosting conversations at the intersection of neuroscience, mental health, faith, culture, and social justice. Even with my excitement, there’s a part of me that has questioned my readiness. Am I ready to host these conversations on such a wide range of topics? Am I ready to break out of my academic comfort zone again, to put myself “out there” and speak to the broader society? But even with these moments of doubt, it’s been both refreshing and invigorating to be back in my podcast host chair. I hope you all enjoy this new episode, “Cannabis, Opioids, Mental Health & Community” with Dr. Chyrell Bellamy and Dr. Paul Glaser. Stay tuned for new episodes dropping every other week.

This Week’s Addy Hour Episode

This first Addy Hour episode of 2026 is a must-watch/must-listen. We delve into the truths about cannabis and opioid use in teens and adults, and we honestly consider the many reasons people use. We address stigma head-on and the ways it shows up for those navigating substance misuse, other mental health challenges, chronic illness, or other health concerns. Our guests also highlight the necessity of meeting people where they are. We talk about the importance of embracing and welcoming folks back into the community, especially after times of treatment or rehab. We also push the boundaries to highlight the essential ways institutions and universities can learn from our communities, for the good of all. In this episode, you’ll also hear powerful stories about our guests’ journeys and their transformative work. You’ll hear about programs providing addiction services within the church. And you’ll hear about strategically establishing clinics in neutral zones between gang territories to facilitate accessibility across gang affiliations. This free-flowing and in-depth conversation will leave you inspired, encouraged, and empowered.

Watch the full episode on our Addy Hour YouTube channel, or listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Also, learn more about the Yale Program for Recovery and Community Health (PRCH)

A special welcome to my new subscribers and thanks to all of you who continue to engage with me here. Through this newsletter, I share about my ongoing journey as a scientist, mentor, leader, mental health advocate, and man of faith. Sometimes the journey is gratifying. Other times it’s filled with growing pains. Regardless of whether things are gratifying, painful, or a mixture of both, I’m striving to learn and grow along the way.

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While preparing for a recent seminar, I found myself reflecting back on one of my first mental health, faith, and science talks. The year was 2017, and I was speaking at a student-organized Veritas Forum at Emory University. The event was titled “God, Self, and Mental Health.” Even though I’d willingly accepted the invitation to speak, I was stepping out of my comfort zone. At that point in my career, I’d become accustomed to giving scientific talks. But now, I’d agreed to speak publicly about faith and science — two topics often thought to be in opposition. Additionally, I didn’t like the fact that my talk was going to be recorded and posted on YouTube for the world to view!

To my surprise, my talk went very well, and I left the event feeling encouraged by the thoughtful feedback and discussion from the students. As I later re-immersed myself in my “day job,” I didn’t think much more about that event — until it was posted on YouTube.

Then I began to wonder how people would react. How would my fellow scientists respond? How would those in my faith community respond? Even as I was contemplating different possible reactions, it was the response from one of my younger siblings that caught me off guard.

I responded with a sheepish “thanks,” even as I felt a bit embarrassed and exposed by the compliment.

Admittedly, in 2017, I was still figuring out how to navigate my career as a scientist, scholar, and mentor while staying true to my identity as a man of faith. I was also trying to figure out what to do with people’s expectations of me as a scientist, researcher, leader, and role model. It felt like I was always holding back some aspect of who I was. Over time, I’ve tried to be more intentional about authentically showing up as my true self in my various roles. But I’ve had several experiences over the last few months (some filled with growing pains) that have revealed the many ways that I’m still holding back from being my true self.

I know this may sound odd, coming from someone who, from outward appearances, is “highly accomplished and successful.” But in truth, there are too many instances where I’m not letting my full intensity, passion, and drive emerge in my daily conversations, plans, work, and initiatives.

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Bumpy Science Communication

If you’ve heard any of my seminars, interviews, or podcasts, you may disagree with my self-assessment of my sometimes bumpy science communication. Let me start by acknowledging that I’ve definitely improved in this area over the years.

I still vividly remember attempting to explain my first summer research project to my friends after my freshman year in college. To be fair, that entire research experience was a bit overwhelming, as I was doing research for the first time. Thankfully, the graduate students and postdoctoral researchers in the lab were very gracious. They went out of their way to make time for me, to train me and to explain things to me.

After the program, I spent a couple of weeks at home before returning to campus for the fall semester. I remember driving back from a fast-food pickup with friends when one of them asked, “Nii, what did you work on this summer?” I immediately felt a wave of panic. My reaction seemed a bit over the top for such an innocuous question. But I couldn’t shake my uncomfortable feeling, and I couldn’t figure out how to answer the question. So I just stared out the window, trying to gather my thoughts.

Eventually, I made an attempt to describe my summer research project. Instead of saying something intelligible, I started rambling, jumping from topic to topic, attempting to describe scientific concepts I didn’t fully grasp. My friends’ facial expressions revealed their confusion. But they still let me ramble for a little bit. Eventually, one of them interjected with a question. “Can you please say that again, in English!?” I’d jumped from topic to topic and used so much scientific jargon that they had no idea what I was talking about!

These days, I thankfully have a lot more research experience and understanding to support my science communication. I’m also very intentional about communicating in ways that both scientific and non-scientific audiences can understand. This approach has been helpful in many settings, whether I’m speaking at a scientific conference, speaking to a general audience, giving a media interview, or having casual conversations with people I’ve just met.

Am I concerned that I’ll make things too complicated? Am I concerned that people will tune out if I use too many scientific terms? Am I worried about whether people are truly interested in what I have to say? Am I worried about what people will think of me, especially in our climate where even science itself has become politicized and divisive?

Science and Social Media

Whenever I’m tempted to hold back in sharing scientific information, I only need to scroll through any social media feed to get jolted back to reality. I’ll immediately find people delving deep into neuroscience topics without hesitation. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard people talk about getting their “dopamine hits.” I’ll see people talking about “5 ways to detox your brain,” or any other number of similar topics. There are times when I feel a sense of pride at the way neuroscience is bubbling up in everyday conversation. People are speaking from their experience and sharing helpful information. Other times, I’m infuriated. Sometimes people are speaking their opinions as facts or misrepresenting science without fact-checking.

Instead of staying in a place of irritation, I’ve had to acknowledge the times when I haven’t spoken with as much depth as I could or should. Instead of holding back, I’m leaning in. I’m letting my deep conviction for clear, effective, and accurate science communication rise to the surface.

There are times I’ll challenge people’s scientific assumptions. There are times I’ll lean into the research details to back up what I’m saying. There are times I’ll provide detailed evidence as I address myths about effective mental health approaches for things like anxiety, depression, addiction and suicide prevention. There are times I’ll dig deep to dispel myths about the so-called incongruities between science and faith.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to speak on many of these topics in an episode of Healthy Minds with Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein on PBS.

These conversations are always gratifying and challenging, given the breadth of topics that we cover in a 30-minute episode! Of course, there’s always room for growth. But hopefully, I’m continuing to move forward in the right direction.

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Driven by my core values

Over the years, I’ve become keenly aware that communication is one of my core values. If you’re interested in identifying your own core values, I’ve found this “Living into our Values“ exercise from Brené Brown to be helpful. A career coach previously shared this resource with me, and I’ve had different teams use it to identify their individual and team values.

Going back to my own core value, I’ve even noticed how much communication affects my mood! When I’m communicating clearly, I feel like I’m in my flow. My conversations are enjoyable, gratifying, and fulfilling, even if I’m talking about difficult topics. I’ve experienced this feeling numerous times in my podcast conversations — both as a host and as a guest. This feeling even extends to situations where I’m not the one communicating. Simply being in an environment with good communicators leaves me feeling refreshed and invigorated. This can happen whether I’m in a meeting, attending a workshop or seminar, participating in a conference, or listening to a podcast.

In contrast, I feel frustrated when I’m not communicating clearly. There are times when I haven’t made a point as clearly as I’ve wanted to, and it’s left people feeling confused. Or perhaps, I haven’t listened well and I’ve made incorrect assumptions. Other times, I’ve completely missed a point that others were trying to make. Here again, my frustrations also show up in different settings. I feel depleted when I’m in environments filled with miscommunication, gaps in communication, or just a lack of communication. My frustration only intensifies when these communication challenges facilitate poor decision-making in a group setting or in a relationship. Again, there are far too many instances where I’ve unfortunately stuffed my frustration. I’ve let miscommunication persist, only to make ineffective attempts to fix things later.

These days, I’m fully unleashing my drive for good communication. In some ways, this relates to what I shared previously about my new boldness to interrupt, re-direct, and correct. Instead of wondering whether I’m being “too much” for others, I’m letting my deep drive for communication fully show up in my mentoring, leadership, and advisory roles. I’m letting it show up more fully when I’m teaching, presenting a seminar, or giving a keynote or sermon. I’m letting it show up when I’m listening to others share their stories and experiences.

At times, I’m pushing myself to speak up more readily in meetings when I’m noticing communication gaps or misunderstandings. In situations where difficult decisions need to be made, I’m trying to acknowledge when emotions take over while also reiterating critical points that have been left by the wayside. At times, I’m giving myself permission to pry and challenge questionable decisions that are being made without clear communication about what led to those decisions in the first place.

Perhaps most importantly, I’m seeking to combine my passions for clear communication and for effective mentoring. In doing so, I’m hopefully fostering environments characterized by good communication while helping others grow in their communication, just as so many mentors have done for me.

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Recent Happenings

One of the things I appreciate about this season of my career is the opportunity I have to participate in different types of important and meaningful events. These past few months have been no different. In June, I spoke at another Veritas Forum event, this time at the Mayo Clinic, as part of an interfaith dialogue on the topic “Healing the Whole Person: What is the Role of Faith in Mental Health.” Again, I was impressed by the planning and thoughtfulness of the student-organizing team, and the way they cultivated an atmosphere of honest dialogue in the panel discussion between Dr. Cory Ingram, Dr. Jawad Qureshi, and me.

During Suicide Prevention Month in September, I had the opportunity to join the Whole Brother Mission for their HBCU tour stop at Southern University and A&M College in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

I presented a keynote on the neuroscience of suicide and suicide prevention, and I joined a panel discussion alongside Whole Brother Mission CEO, Dr. Maliek Blade. I was encouraged by the students’ honesty and transparency throughout our panel discussion. I definitely appreciated their contributions on a topic that’s so often difficult to discuss.

A few weeks later, I returned to Louisiana to give a seminar at the LSU Health Center in New Orleans. This time, I was speaking to an audience of graduate and medical students, postdoctoral researchers, staff members, research scientists, and professors on a medical school campus. Even though I was in my scientific element, I still integrated aspects of my public-facing initiatives and efforts. It was wonderful to see the room at capacity for my seminar, and thankfully, my integration of scientific research and public facing initiatives was well received. It was wonderful to engage with the community during my talk and throughout the day.

As I strive towards showing up more as my full self in different spaces, I’m blessed to participate in opportunities that align with my passions and goals.

A special welcome to those who’ve recently subscribed to my Addy Minute newsletter!

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If you know me, have talked with me, or listened to my podcast, you know that I pride myself in being a good listener. I’m not perfect at it. But I try to listen with intentionality, attentiveness and empathy. As I wrote previously, journalist Celeste Hadlee’s TEDx talk, “10 ways to have a better conversation,” has been a helpful resource in this regard. Of course, I don’t always follow Celeste’s advice, especially when my “social battery” is running low.

When I’m listening well, people feel comfortable sharing their experiences and aspirations, joys and challenges, and strong opinions with me - sometimes all at once! My attentive listening is certainly helpful in my mentoring meetings with students, researcher trainees, and early career professors. It’s also helpful in my public conversations. This is true whether I’m hosting a podcast episode, being interviewed by others, or speaking on a panel discussion. It’s even helpful in my one-off conversations with strangers. I might use these listening skills when I’m in line at the grocery store, chatting with a barista at a coffee shop, or sitting next to someone on an airplane.

My intentional listening is also essential when I’m talking with people I disagree with. Let me pause here and acknowledge my strong belief that we all need to interact with, and befriend, people we disagree with. As tempting as it is for us to stay in our echo chambers, that positioning leaves us with limited and often erroneous perspectives on life. I previously shared my thoughts on this topic in a Veritas Forum Office Hours video.

In many conversations, I’m listening to people share how they’re tackling complex societal issues or research questions, or how they’re navigating interpersonal or situational challenges. My empathetic listening and interspersed, probing questions sometimes help people uncover thoughts or emotions they hadn’t previously tapped into. In these conversations, people will tell me, “I hadn’t considered that perspective before.” In moments of vulnerability, they’ll say “I haven’t told anyone this before.” Then they’ll admit, “I’m not sure why I shared that with you.” Sometimes, as people are reflecting out loud, they’ll eventually say, “I didn’t realize how much this was bothering me until we started talking.”

As is so often the case with interpersonal and situational challenges, things can be complicated. When any one of us is working through a complex situation, it’s easy to jump to conclusions, even if they aren’t true.

In such moments, people will tell me, “I know this other person thinks I’m __________.” Then, they’ll fill in the blank with any number of descriptors.

Annoying.

Incompetent.

Narrow-minded.

Elitist.

Unqualified.

Privileged.

Underprivileged.

Racist.

Selfish.

The list can go on and on.

Or someone might experience an unfair situation and quickly conclude, “I’m sure that person was selected for the opportunity instead of me, because_________.” Again, they’ll fill in the blank with any number of conclusions. In other instances, someone will need to address a specific problem. Instead of moving forward, they’ll get stuck. They’ll tell me, “If I try to address this, I know exactly how everyone will respond. So there’s no point moving forward.”

When people share these thoughts with me, I listen with the intent to understand their perspective, and to figure out why they’re feeling how they’re feeling. I’ll interject with comments like:

• “That’s certainly understandable.”

• “I can see why you’d be frustrated.”

• “I’m sorry this situation is so annoying”

These phases seem appropriate. Selfishly, I also feel gratified when I’ve locked into someone’s emotions and accurately validated their feelings.

Why have I been so content to listen, and so hesitant to correct? Maybe I don’t want to offend others. Maybe I don’t want to lose their trust. Maybe I’m afraid they’ll shut me out and stop listening. Maybe, I’m so intent on understanding their emotions that I stop paying attention to their problematic thought patterns.

A new boldness to interrupt, re-direct, and correct

With practice, I’m learning to do better. I still listen with intentionality and empathy, but I’m also more quickly noticing when I disagree, or when there’s a problematic thought pattern emerging. In addition to simply noticing, I’ll interject with questions like, “What led you to that conclusion?” I might even offer alternative perspectives. For instance, saying “when I hear what that person said to you, it actually leads me to a very different conclusion than what you concluded.”

If I’ve built enough trust with the person I’m listening to, I’ll interject with comments like, “You need to be careful here,” or “You’re actually making some assumptions that may be inaccurate.” I can point out how reacting and making decisions based on an incorrect assumption can be problematic and or lead to additional problems. Sometimes, I’ll acknowledge my uncertainty about people’s intentions. “What that person said does sound hurtful. But it’s difficult for me to truly know why they said that, or what their intent was.”

I’ve realized this necessity to interject and redirect most poignantly when I’ve had to de-escalate situations. In these moments, I’m certainly listening attentively. At the same time, I’m using a mixture and gentle and assertive correcting and redirecting. Sometimes, this can help people move from their defensive or combative posture to a place where they can listen better, see other perspectives, and even acknowledge misconceptions that may be making matters worse. For any of you interested in additional, practical de-escalation tips, here’s a helpful Psychology Today article on de-escalating conflicts.

While I’m continuing to grow in these areas, it’s still easy for me to think about all the times I’ve disserviced people by not speaking up. When I feel this tendency, I need stay focused on the present, remembering the ways I’m continuing to grow, and thinking about the places I can incorporate these tools.

Some of you are already very effective at redirecting and correcting others when you’re in conversation. Others of you may find yourself interjecting too often, before you fully understand the other person’s situation. Maybe you’re trying to be more disciplined in pulling back and listening more, before jumping in and sharing all your thoughts. Some of you, like me, have been reluctant to interject or correct in conversations, even though you’ve felt the need to do so. Whatever your perspective, we’re all on a learning journey, with plenty of room for growth.

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Recent Happenings

Recently, I’ve been more intentional about reconnecting with folks when I’m traveling for conferences, seminars, board meetings or community events. In doing so, I’ve been blessed to reconnect with many extended family members, high school and college friends, mentors, and former students. I’ve been touched by people’s willingness to drive short or long distances to meet me when I’m “close by.” I’ve been reminded of the wonderful communities I’ve partnered with, in my mental health and faith initiatives. In particular, it’s been refreshing to reconnect with mental health professionals, pastors and community members that I’ve worked over the years.

Earlier this year, I also returned to my alma mater, Duke University, to give an invited talk. It’s hard to believe that this is the place where I was first introduced to research almost 30 years ago! It was a bit surreal to be back at Duke, especially since some of my professors and mentors are still working on campus. It was meaningful to reflect on the many individuals who’ve invested in me over the years. I’m also grateful that I was able to meet with, invest in and learn from current students. Definitely a full circle visit!

Earlier this year, I also participated in a meaningful DC Art Science Evening Rendezvous (DASER) event at the National Academy of Sciences. I was honored to join a panel discussion on “Art, Health and Wellness” – part of a celebration for the opening of the exhibition, Monument to Our Skies, by my friend, colleague and brother Dr. Imo Nse Imeh. The panel include Dr. Imeh, myself, Dr. Jehan “Gigi” El-Bayoumi (Professor of Medicine and George Washington University Rodham Institute founder) and Fred Johnson (Community Engagement Specialist and Performing Artist-in-Residence at the National Academy of Sciences). It was a life-giving event, in many ways, some of which was captured in a wonderful video highlight reel.

Welcome to another Addy Minute newsletter. I’m glad to be writing to you all again, after a semester filled with scientific projects, grants, mentoring, talks and other initiatives! With this installment, I’d like to take you on another personal journey.

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A little over a decade ago, I was invited to give a talk at a well-respected, international scientific conference in Europe. I was in the early stages of my career, and it felt like I was still trying to prove myself as a full-fledged and respected scientist. The invitation to speak at an international conference was a huge honor. It was also a huge burden. A deluge of thoughts flooded my mind as I prepared. How would people perceive me? Would they think I was too early in my career? Would they think I was too young to be speaking? Would my talk be taken less seriously? Would I be viewed skeptically, especially as the only Black scientist giving a talk at the conference?

I felt immense pressure to give an exceptional talk. Before travelling to the conference, I spent hours thinking through my team’s research projects, the data, and the implications of our findings. I carefully crafted my presentation flow and delivery. Since the other speakers were more established in the field, they would have more scientific data to present than me. My goal was to give a polished presentation, while also giving the audience a sense of where our research was going. Perhaps that would help me feel validated. My preparations didn’t stop when I arrived in Europe. I was scheduled to speak on the last day of the conference. So while others chatted over drinks and snacks at evening free time, I was in my room, practicing my talk over and over again.

Some of you may think I overdid it. Why would I put so much pressure on myself? Others may have a different response, especially since I was one of only a few people of color at the conference.

If we did well, some would lift us up as the exception to the rule. Others would take our strong performance as confirmation that people from certain communities could indeed excel in science. But if our science, research, or presentations were lacking in any way, some would view this as confirmation of the sub-par skills, abilities or capacities of those of us from certain groups.

Right or wrong, I carried all of this baggage with me to the conference. Unfortunately, I even started my talk with a self-deprecating comment about my early career status. Thankfully, my presentation went well. It seemed that my continuous practicing had paid off. I delivered the scientific content clearly. I was even able to effectively answer insightful questions from the others in the audience.

After my talk, I received several compliments from attendees. To say I was relieved is a bit of an understatement. Perhaps I’d finally arrived? Then again, I also noticed that some of the compliments seemed uttered out of surprise that I presented so well. It made me wonder, were they expecting otherwise?

I share this story as a contrast to my current perspective. I wrote this newsletter while traveling to another prestigious conference, with scientists, clinicians and leaders from all over the world. But I no longer carried the same baggage that I did 12 years ago (both literally and emotionally).

I’m grateful for this shift. I still try to excel in what I do. But I’m much more focused on whether I’m fulfilling my purpose in each circumstance - whether giving a presentation, or talking with someone individually. The questions in my mind have changed. Did I connect with people? Did I reach them where they were? Did I listen well? Did I learn from them?

While I can’t always see the impact I have, I’m grateful for the feedback many people have shared with me.

• Recently, an established leader shared how my conversations with them, while they were a student, dramatically impacted their perspective, confidence, and career.

• Instead of being overwhelmed by being one of the only Black speakers in a room, I’ve learned to embrace that fact that I can be an example for others. After one presentation at a college earlier this year, a student shared, “I came this talk because I’d never seen a Black neuroscientist before.”

• After a university keynote on neuroscience, mental health and faith, one attendee told me, “You shared in an hour what it took me a decade to learn. I’m grateful you shared it with this audience.”

• After talks, others have approached me with with tears in their eyes, thanking me for putting things in perspective, for validating their experiences, and for empowering them.

And so with all of this, I’m thankful that my prior experience speaking at that conference in Europe, and other experiences like it, have shaped me and prepared me for the work I’m doing today.

Recent Happenings

In the spirit of this journey, I’d also like to share two events from this year which felt important and deeply gratifying. In a world where we seem to have a hard time talking across differences, I gladly accepted an invitation to participate in a Dartmouth Dialogues event. As stated on their Dialogues website, these dialogues reflect Dartmouth’s, “commitment to expanding programming across the institution dedicated to facilitating conversations and skills that bridge political and personal divides.”

I’m grateful to Dartmouth College for this initiative, to the Veritas Forum which co-hosted, and to the outstanding student leaders who guided, directed and brought this event to fruition. I’m also indebted to my co-panelist, Dr. Ralph Craig (Lecturer in Religion), and to our moderator, Kristi Clemens (Assistant Vice President and Title IX Coordinator, and Director of Student and Staff Initiatives). Our panel was titled Is Mindfulness Enough? A Buddhist & Christian Discuss Mental Health.

It was truly a refreshing conversation, as we considered different perspectives on mental health and society. It was also a powerful example of holding true to our convictions and perspectives, without diminishing others. Quite the opposite, we sought to treat each other with respect. Indeed, this approach provides a unique opportunity for cultivating the bonds of relationship and friendship, even across differences.

This year, I also had the tremendous opportunity to contribute to the Whole Man video and devotional project. The initiative focuses on mental health and faith, particularly among Black men, where the mental health topic is so often stigmatized, demonized, misconstrued or ignored. In this project, we leaned in and considered four themes – head, heart, hands and soul.

Even with our emphasis on Black men, the project includes topics and discussions that are relevant to all of us. I’m grateful to the team at Our Daily Bread and to the devotional book editors, Rasool Berry, Dr. Maliek Blade, and Jerome Gay for including me in this meaningful project. Feel free to check out the devotional book (which includes an entry from me), our video conversation on “head”, or any of the other videos.

Welcome to another Addy Minute Newsletter, and a special welcome to my new subscribers. As one reader recently pointed out, my writings seem to be filled with self-reflection. It’s my ongoing hope that these writings encourage, inspire, resonate with and even challenge you all. 

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I’ll admit that lately my life has been filled with more uncomfortable situations than I’d prefer. Even though I’m smiling in this 2023 photo on the Kakum Canopy Walkway in Ghana, I can assure you that I felt uncomfortable walking across the narrow wooden plank, 130 feet in the air!

On a societal level, there are plenty of anxiety-provoking, tumultuous, and tragic events leaving many of us feeling unsettled. For anyone with connections to world-wide conflicts, this can be personally challenging and devastating.  

Here in the US, our contentious election season is already sparking many uncomfortable interactions in our homes, communities, churches, and in the halls of government. In 2020, I contributed to a Smithsonian Magazine article on the anxiety of election season. Perhaps not surprisingly, the principles from that article are still relevant in 2024.

Discomfort in our lives can arise for any number of reasons. In these newsletters, I’ve frequently written about my experiences as a scientist, mental health advocate, man of faith, son of immigrants, and a Black man living in the US.

From childhood through present day, my uncomfortable experiences have been numerous. In middle school, I remember being called an “oreo” by a group of predominantly white kids. They used this term as an insult, claiming that I was “black on the outside and white on the inside.” As a young adult, I’d frequently hear that click of car doors locking, as I walked through the neighborhood. It was as if people suddenly felt the need to protect themselves in my presence. As a Yale Professor, I remember making a late-night drive home from the airport, after traveling to speak at another university. It was 1 am, and even the main roads were isolated and desolate. I was only 10 minutes from home, when I saw the flashing police lights behind me. I hadn’t violated any traffic laws, and I had no idea why I was being pulled over. As the police approached my car, my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest - especially with so many interactions between police and Black people ending in tragedy. My feelings of discomfort didn’t subside, as the police explained the seemingly made-up reason I’d been pulled over, before checking my license and registration.

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Like most of us, I’d prefer to avoid these uncomfortable situations. At the same time, some of my uncomfortable situations have been to my benefit. This has certainly been my experience, even in privileged academic spaces. That’s not to say that there aren’t problematic scenarios occurring on our campuses. One only has to think back a few months to the meaningful and challenging protests and disputes on our college and university campuses. Many of us also have first-hand experience navigating challenging and uncomfortable situations on campus. Thankfully, I’ve also encountered situations that brought about growth.

As a college student, I was part of a leadership team for a scholarship program. In my senior year, the program president and I met with our University President. In addition to providing program updates, we were tasked with requesting additional funds. We’d rehearsed our presentation beforehand. But once the meeting started, my voice trembled every time I spoke! The President and her staff were engaging, gracious, and encouraging. Their positive responses didn’t remove my anxious feelings. But thankfully, our proposal was well received, and our request was supported. At the time, I didn’t realize how this meeting would impact my future interactions with leadership. Incidentally, my co-leader, who years later served in the White House, also cited that experience as instructive in her own development as a leader.

When I started my faculty position at Yale, I remember bumping into a campus leader on a sunny fall afternoon. He graciously stopped to ask about my experience thus far. I was still new in my role, and I felt uncertain about my place on campus. At that time, I often felt uncomfortable interacting with leaders. I’d typically speak very quickly, without giving the other person much time to interject in our conversation. It’s as if I was trying to speed up the uncomfortable interaction, so I could remove myself from the conversation.

My behavior in these academic scenarios were partially a reflection of my own insecurities. Looking back, I can also see how this discomfort helped me to grow.  As I continued in my leadership journey, this discomfort emerged in new ways. That was definitely the case when I co-hosted our 2019 “God, Mental Health and Wellness in NYC.” I felt deeply encouraged by the many panelists who accepted my invitation to contribute. I also felt grateful for the more than 1300 people who registered for the gathering. Those feelings quickly shifted to a mixture of nervousness, excitement, disbelief and awe, on the night of our event. It felt intimidating to walk onto the stage, with the houselights dimmed and a bright spotlight tracking my every movement as a I spoke! The discomfort was well worth it. I was honored to host such a powerful evening, with attendees sharing how they’d waited for years to engage in that type of event!

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I opened this newsletter claiming that I’ve recently been in uncomfortable situations more often than I’d like. But I didn’t disclose that I’m usually the one initiating the discomfort. Sometimes, the discomfort arises around a challenging or sensitive topic. This is especially true when I’m discussing mental illness, mistreatment, or racism - topics that are inherently uncomfortable. Other times, I’m intentionally trying to push people out of their comfort zone, so we can get to a better place of understanding and thriving.

More recently, this has extended beyond my speaking engagements. I’m also initiating uncomfortable interactions in my one-on-one conversations. This is definitely a shift, as I’m typically one to avoid conflict and uncomfortable conversation. As I’ve stepped into new roles, I’ve also had to confront the downside of leaving conflicts unaddressed. Instead, I’ve starting to address errors, ill-intentioned actions, and misperceptions head on. Sometimes it means anticipating errors before they arise, and taking others through the discomfort of realizing that the lack of anticipation could increase the likelihood of a problematic outcome. There are times I need to let the discomfort sit for a while, whether I’m addressing my own mistake or someone else’s.

In the season of life, I’m choosing to lean into this discomfort. I’m learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. In doing so, I’m giving myself opportunities to grow, and hopefully I’m helping others to grow as people, in their work, and in their relationships and calling.

Wellness Tip

This month’s wellness tip is quite simple. Check your internal motivations – especially in conversations related to the upcoming US election. As a question of reflection, how do you engage in conversations with those whose political views differ from your own? Maybe you’re one to try and avoid those conversations all together? But if you’re one to engage, do you enter those conversations with a goal of shutting others down, putting them in their place, and showing them why they’re wrong? Or do you seek to listen, and even understand others’ perspectives?

You may be wondering what this has to do with wellness. It’s worth acknowledging that our stress and uncertainty around the elections can impact us. It would be naïve to think that watching political discussions, charge disagreements, and vitriolic conversations wouldn’t affect our own mood and interactions with others. I encourage you to be honest with yourself and reflect on how the election, or conversations about the election, are impacting your mood, your emotions, and your interactions with others.

A Look Ahead

For this look ahead, I’m actually reflecting back. This past May, I had the honor of facilitating a panel discussion between psychiatrist, researcher and professor, Dr. John Krystal, and visual artist and professor, Dr. Imo Imeh. The panel discussion was based on our collaborative art and science endeavor. The goal of the project was to address “the underrepresentation of Black people on the Journal Cover through a series of commissioned artworks” as described on the Biological Psychiatry journal website. The project itself had far reaching implications, impacting how we approach, practice, research and discuss neuroscience and psychiatry.

The project also had many layers of risk and discomfort. There was the risk of embarking on a new project across two distinct fields – psychiatry and art, with an emphasis on the imagery of Black people and topics of mental health. There was the challenge of trying to address meaningful and yet uncomfortable topics. There was the historical and ongoing tension between psychiatry and Black communities, a history filled with mistreatment, racism and mistrust.

There were also opportunities for healing. There was bridge building, empathy and understanding that was fostered amongst the three of us as individuals, and across the field. There were those who saw themselves represented in ways they hadn’t seen themselves represented in the past. There were those who saw topics afresh, with a new or renewed perspectives. Once again, beauty emerged as we leaned into our discomfort.

Ready for More, Taking on Less, and Being Quiet

It’s wonderful to be writing to you all again after a very full and fulfilling few months. As usual, I’ve relished the opportunity to participate in engagements across a range of topics. Over a recent 2-month period, I spoke at a Dartmouth College mental health and faith event, participated in a national board meeting, moderated a conference panel on art and psychiatry, gave a keynote at the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), and presented several seminars and interviews on my university campus. In between these events, I sprinkled in family-related travel and celebrations. Of course, I also continued to direct my research lab, and somehow managed to submit a major new research grant application.  

In the middle of this busy season, someone recently asked how I’d been spending my time. I legitimately had to pause and think, “What city was I in last week?!”

The fact that I had to ask myself that question was surprising and disorienting. Admittedly, it’s nice to feel wanted. I’d be dishonest if I pretended that these requests didn’t enhance my sense of self-worth. It’s gratifying to have different organizations, campus groups, strategic committees, and conferences ask me to contribute to their endeavors. It’s wonderful when my keynote talks, feedback, or programmatic suggestions are well-received. At the same time, I fully acknowledge the danger of placing my worth in my productivity or contributions.

But even beyond this personal validation, I’ve seen how much I’ve grown through these opportunities. My engagements inform one another. As a result, I’m much more equipped to meaningfully contribute to various initiatives. In that regard, I’m blessed to participate in events that foster my personal and professional growth, and my ability to positively impact people’s lives.

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This past March, I was honored to speak at the New Jersey Reentry Corporation’s (NJRC) Annual Conference. This event is hosted by NJRC Executive Director and former New Jersey governor, Jim McGreevey. NJRC is on “a social mission to remove all barriers to employment for citizens returning from jail or prison.” This year’s conference theme of “Mental Health is Everybody’s Business,” focused on those reentering society from prison or from military service.

In our opening panel, we delved into challenging and intersecting topics of mental health, access to services, the role of government, the impact of the criminal justice system, and more. At one point, I started discussing policies that can limit access to mental health interventions in the abstinence of a crisis. That point of crisis can sometimes involve the criminal justice system. Governor McGreevey then asked me a pointed question (43:15 in the YouTube link below):

“Can you talk about why that's so important, in terms of the brain reaction of the individual. I've seen families wanting to do the right thing and the disconnect between policies whether it's criminal justice… and the individual, and the family. But what's happening in the brain of the individual at that [mental health] crisis point?”

Had I been asked that question 10 years ago, I would have frozen in that moment. I’d rather disappear than address a pointed question in an opening conference session, with 600 people in the room. In addition to the audience, my fellow panelists included a respected community member with lived experience, the current NJRC medical director, and the current president of the American Psychiatric Association! I could have easily thought of the many reasons I shouldn’t answer the question.

Instead, something remarkable happened. I immediately thought back to conversations I’d had at a prior speaking engagement, with a law student whose family member is living with severe mental illness. I remembered the student describing the legal challenges which impacted when and how mental health professionals and law enforcement could intervene. I thought of neuroscience research in rodents that has provided key insights into how the brain responds in stressful situations. I thought about the panic that quickly arises when any one of us is in crisis. I thought about how interactions with law enforcement during a mental health crisis would impact future interactions with police. I thought about the emotions of family members when their loved one is experience a mental health challenge but being mistreated by law enforcement. And I thought of ways each of us can have a tendency to withdraw or isolate, in the midst of challenge.

As I thought through all these components, I was able to quickly give an informed answer. To my surprise, my comments were met with several nods of agreement and some “Amen’s” from the audience. I was even a bit taken back by how quickly I responded in way that resonated with the audience and the Governor.

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This is just one example from one scenario. But more often than not, I find myself equipped to provide feedback, support and guidance at events and in meetings. Sometimes it’s related to diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging. Other times, it relates to practical approaches for inviting a speaker, hosting a panel discussion, organizing a forum, or engaging community partners. I’ve provided feedback on the best ways to encourage participation in a small group of students, faculty, or community members. On a wider scale, I’ve also provided advice and guidance to governor’s offices seeking to effectively address mental health challenges in their state.

In many of these instances, I’m simply synthesizing the knowledge I’ve gained from a wide range experiences and engagements over the years. But there are also times where a different set of thoughts come to mind - even while I’m sharing helpful information.

            “This is not the best use of my time.”

Then I suddenly realize that I should probably politely decline the next invitation to join a particular meeting. This is not to imply that I should back out of my ongoing obligations. But with the increasing number of requests comes the challenge of remaining effective in my different endeavors. Just because I can provide insight into a specific situation or scenario, does not that mean I should.

So even as I’ve become equipped for more, I’m still learning the skill of taking on less. Maybe I don’t need to interject at every opportunity, or always try to sharpen or improve someone’s approach. I’ll admit. This is a new challenge for me. Especially since I’ve been so content to stay in background for much of my professional life. While I previously had to push myself to speak in most settings, I’ve now reached a point where I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut!!

Wellness Tip

This month’s wellness tip is a simple phrase of advice.

I remember hearing this from a mentor who was speaking to a group of early career professors. I believe this advice is highly applicable for all of us. We’ve all had times where we’ve been asked to help a friend with a project, or been asked to join a committee, to complete a requested work-related task, or to assist with a family matter. But at some point, in the middle of helping, we start to wonder, “Why am I doing this?”

Maybe the task has taken us away from another important obligation. Or perhaps we suddenly realize that the person who asked for help didn’t really need our help after all. Maybe we feel like we’re being taken advantage of. Perhaps we were only asked to join a group so others could check a box and have better representation across different identities. But we now realize that they did not truly value our input.

Instead of coming to these realizations after the fact, it can be helpful to ask “why” before we commit to a request. We can state the question out loud, for instance asking someone, “Why would like me to assist?” or “Why did my name come to your mind, for this request?” We can also ask this “why” question internally. In other words, what is our internal motivation (or our internal “why”)? Why are we serving in that capacity, taking on that task, or adding on new responsibilities? Granted, there could be pressing personal or family needs that lead us to accept a request. In that instance, the answer to “why” might be based on need.

Other times, perhaps we were asked to do something that we’re passionate about, or that we see as an important opportunity to invest in others. There are also times where we need to be honest and ask ourselves if we’re doing something to avoid the guilt of saying no. Or maybe we feel pressured to say yes, or we feel like saying yes will build our self-worth. As I recently heard from artist, writer and speaker, Sho Baraka, when I joined his Good Culture podcast, we sometimes problematically say yes to uphold a certain image. As he shared, “It’s not that it’s always the injustice that we care about. It’s once we’ve established a brand, that I’m that type of person that care’s about injustices, now I have to care about all injustices that my friend’s think I should care about.”

Asking why can also be beneficial for our emotional wellness. Too many times, I’ve seen people who continually say “yes” on impulse. Before they know it, they’re overcommitted and find themselves burned out, frazzled, and stressed to the point of irritation and exhaustion.

So I encourage you to reflect on your why, and to thoughtfully consider this healthy why question the next time your receive a request for your time and effort.

A Look Ahead

I referenced an opportunity I had to join Sho Baraka on his Good Culture podcast. But you can also check out my recent conversation with Sho on the Addy Hour podcast. In this timely discussion, Sho shares four key ways each of us can effectively pursue our calling. Refreshingly, he provides this guidance, even while acknowledging his own successes and challenges pursuing his vocational calling. We also reflect on what it means to engage and care for our local and global community. In the scope of community, we discuss neurodiversity and inclusivity, as Sho shares his perspective as the father of two sons living on the autism spectrum.

Accepting my gifts & peculiarities

It’s good to finally be writing you all again. As always, a special welcome to my new subscribers! During the past few months, I’ve devoted much of my writing time to finishing and submitting the first draft of my first book. I realize this is just one step in the writing process. But I’m still grateful to have reached this milestone!

I’ve been learning a lot about people as I’ve researched and written about neuroscience topics in the context of everyday life. I’ve also learned more about myself. Surprisingly, I’ve noticed a new, nagging feeling. At times, I feel different from those around me. Sometimes, I feel out of place. This sense, however fleeting, has shown up in various settings. I’ve noticed it in my research environments, in my leadership roles, when I’m speaking to groups, and in my everyday community interactions.

I wrote previously about the power of belonging, and how that was impacted by my summer in Ghana. But this new feeling doesn’t seem to revolve around belonging. Instead, I’m sensing that my day-to-day interactions are changing.

Admittedly, I’ve always been a somewhat quiet person, content to hang out in the background. In group settings, it’s natural for me to “people watch.” I feel very comfortable in this mode. Given the various roles I’ve stepped into, I now find myself frequently leading meetings, speaking on podcasts, on panels, at conferences, in churches, and generally engaged in conversation. So I’ve become more accustomed to stepping out of my preferred background role.

At the same time, something feels different about my interactions. In group meetings, it’s now more effortless for me set the tone in the room. In one-on-one conversations, I find myself quickly locking into people’s emotions, motivations, needs and desires. Not only that, but I’m also surprised by how quickly I can adjust the conversation to meet people where they are.

For instance, I might sense someone’s areas of comfort and insecurity, and then adjusting my conversation accordingly. In speaking with someone who does better with long periods of silence, I might change my cadence to give them time to process their thoughts and emotions. For others whose conversation style is to incorporate several topics, thoughts, themes and emotions at once, I might strategically interrupt, interject, and even redirect the conversations at times, while still giving them space to share.

In writing these thoughts, I’m certainly not suggesting that I have flawless conversational skills. But my heightened sense of attentiveness and adaptability in conversations has started to feel ever-present.

As you’re reading this, you may be thinking that I’m self-promoting. Or you may wonder if I’m simply oblivious to the areas where my conversational skills are lacking. You may also wonder why having engaging, generative and meaningful conversations makes me feel different?

Even so, my newfound conversational attentiveness and flexibility can be good or bad. It can be annoying, if I’m continually feeling odd in my interactions, or feeling mentally taxed by my attentiveness. It can be problematic, if I’m judging others who aren’t interacting with my preferred, self-defined level of effectiveness. It can also be positive, if I’m generative and looking for ways to serve, support and bless others in my conversations. I’ll admit that my attitude isn’t static. It moves between each of these perspectives at times.

Thankfully, I’m also seeing benefits of this skillset, even in the midst of feeling different. My intentionality, attentiveness and empathy has shown up in my mentoring, in family conversations, in meetings with supervisors, and even in small talk with strangers at coffee shops or on planes.

People have said, “I’m not sure why I shared that with you.” Others have semi-jokingly thanked me for informal therapy sessions - even though I’m not licensed as a counselor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. I used to find these comments a bit odd. At times, I would even feel momentarily frustrated at the liberty people would take in sharing so many details of their struggles with me. But then I started accepting this reality. Instead of running away from it, I started looking for opportunities to meaningfully engage with others, and I’m leaning into these interactions.

On a recent mental health, faith and addiction podcast conversation with Lisa Fields of the Jude 3 Project, I shared about the importance of actively listening with attentiveness, patience and flexibility, even though we all have challenges with this at times. Lisa also shared some wonderful insights on the discipline and the power of effective listening.

Truthfully, I still need to be mindful about my attitude, so I don’t slip into negativity when I can’t seem to “turn off” this newfound attentiveness. I also need to practice the self-care I encourage others to use, so I have times to pause, relax, reflect and reset. I need to be fine with the times I don’t notice things or when I don’t appropriately respond to people in conversation. This is all part of my growing into my gifts, skills and peculiarities.

Wellness Tip

For this week’s wellness tip, I encourage you to reflect on the things you enjoy, or the areas of life where you feel effective. For any who have a tendency towards perfectionism as I do, be careful not to self-criticize or focus on shortcomings. It may be helpful to reflect on what others see as your strengths.

Maybe people admire your diligence in your work. Maybe they appreciate the ways you encourage them with your words of affirmation. Maybe they’re motivated by how effectively you lead by example. Or perhaps they appreciate your loyalty and your sense of commitment, or your boisterous enthusiasm, or your quiet and calm attitude.

Sometimes, the things that others appreciate in us are the same things we find odd or annoying about ourselves. Someone may appreciate our strong sense of loyalty, but we feel annoyed, at times, by how deeply we invest in relationships. Or someone may appreciate our quiet demeanor, but we feel disappointed that we’re not more vocal in certain situations. Whatever the case may be, it can be helpful and healthy to see things from other’s perspectives.

One practical way to reflect on these strengths is to simply ask others (who we trust) what they appreciate about us. I’ve actually incorporated this practice into my team meetings. Yes, it always a bit awkward for the person who’s listening to others share positive accolades about them. But it’s also encouraging and enlightening as well.

A Look Ahead

Check out our most recent Addy Hour podcast episode with Dr. Ijeoma Opara, Dr. Laura O’Dell and Dr. Erin Calipari, where we discuss “Women in Science – Culture, Community & Impact.” This is another refreshing discussion, amongst leaders and role models who are empowering people and communities to tackle societal, scientific, health, and addiction-related challenges.

Also, for those who’ve been waiting, my interview on the Where Ya From podcast will drop on April 16^th, 2024. As I wrote previously, “you’ll get a candid peek into my life journey and the culture experiences that’s shaped from childhood till now,” with details I’ve never shared publicly till now. Stay tuned!

Lessons learned, so far.

Welcome to this 1-year anniversary edition of my Addy Minute newsletter! A special thanks to all of you for reading and subscribing. Thanks for sharing what’s resonated with you. Thanks for sharing what’s challenged you. Thanks for sharing how you’re applying the mental wellness tips. And thanks for encouraging me to keep writing!

I hope you’ve found these newsletters to be refreshing and authentic. I’ve attempted to bring you into aspects of my journey that you wouldn’t otherwise see from following my work, listening to my podcast, or hearing me give a presentation. Admittedly, there are still times when I’ve wondered, “Should I go there?” This question came to mind as I described my tendency for perfectionism, my time management juggling act, and the times I navigate as a reluctant leader.  I’ve shared honestly about my mixed feelings of both imposterism and confidence in my skills and abilities. I’ve described ways I’ve tried to redefine success. I’ve admitted times when I’ve felt like an outsider and times when I’ve felt like I belonged.

Throughout this writing process, I’ve also come to more deeply appreciate my identity as a Black scientist, mentor, mental health advocate, leader, Christian, Ghanaian American, role model, and more. In all of my roles, I strive to be a life-long learner. I’m grateful for the many learning opportunities I’ve had thus far. And I’m grateful for the ways I’ve learned from so many friends, colleagues, collaborators, and supporters.

I can confidently say that this has been a tremendous growth experience! Many of you know that I value clear and effective communication. When I give a scientific talk, my most valued feedback is from those who say that they clearly understood what I presented. At this point in my career, I’m very comfortable writing manuscripts filled with scientific hypotheses, carefully designed experiments, and interesting and sometimes surprising results. I enjoy interpreting data, making conclusions, and planning future studies. I’ve also come to enjoy aspects of grant writing, including pitching an idea, describing the significance, designing innovative experiments, and anticipating critiques. But even with my 25 years of scientific writing, this process of book writing for a general audience has been an entirely different adventure. My next step is to submit my book manuscript for the publisher’s early 2024 deadline.

In the meantime, here are a few highlights of my process thus far:

• I’m learning to be a storyteller, as I describe scientific topics in the context of people’s everyday lives.

• I’m learning how to challenge and encourage readers, while also being vulnerable about my own story.

• I’m learning how to keep my reader’s interest. I’ve joked that my audience members are unlikely to walk out of the room, in the middle of an in-person talk (although it’s always possible). But it will be much easier for readers to simply stop reading my book, if they’ve lost interest.   

• I’m enjoying incorporating stories from my travels and my interactions with so many different people and communities.

I’m also gaining a deeper appreciation for discipline (again). I wrote previously about the benefit and downside of discipline. The most consistent advice I’ve heard from other authors is to just sit down, write, and keep writing!

I’m reminded of my previous podcast conversation with best-selling author and veteran entertainment executive, Tara Schuster. I was impressed with her book writing discipline, which she referenced during our conversation. I was equally impressed with her passion to vulnerably and generatively share her emotional wellness journey with the world.

So with all these inspirations and experiences, I continue onward in my writing. As a pastor and mentor reminded me, my goal is to be a good steward of what God has given me to share with others through this book.

Wellness Tip

Realizing your gifts and strengths

For this month’s mental wellness tip, I encourage you to reflect on your strengths and gifts. Perhaps it’s not surprising that those who know and regularly use their gifts have more meaningful, purpose-driven, and fulfilling lives. Reflecting on strengths can also be helpful for those of us who are navigating mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, or substance misuse.

There are formal assessments that people can use to identify their strengths. But there’s an even simpler way to start. Find someone who knows you well, or someone you’ve previously interacted with or frequently interact with. Then ask them what they appreciate about you. Perhaps they appreciate your loyalty, your listening ear, a specific talent, ability or skillset you possess, or a specific value you hold. Oftentimes, the things others appreciate about us are reflections of our strengths.

I’ll note that many of us, especially in Western culture, are more comfortable asking for constructive criticism than asking for a compliment. Somehow, asking others what they appreciate about us seems counter cultural and makes us uncomfortable. There are even articles outlining practical tips to help us learn how to accept compliments! So don’t be surprised if you feel uneasy asking this question.

After hearing others describe your strengths, I suggest that you reflect on whether you have opportunities and situations where you frequently use your strengths. If you’re not regularly operating in your strengths, think creatively about where and how you can apply your gifts. You can also ask others to help you think of opportunities and circumstances you can pursue, or create, to use your strengths more frequently.

A Look Ahead

Check out my most recent Addy Hour conversation with Yale psychiatrist Dr. Sam Wilkinson. We delve into topics from his forthcoming book, Purpose – What Evolution and Human Nature Imply about the Meaning of our Existence. You’ll also hear Sam share honestly about his personal journey reconciling the common perceived opposition between faith and science. Join in for another timely conversation, that also brings us back to the necessity of authentic community and deep relationships.

And stay tuned for more episodes in 2024!

As a kid growing up, I assumed everyone knew more than me. This especially felt true when I was around older people. After all, older folks had more life experience, knowledge and wisdom than me. So I reasoned that I could learn from them. With this perspective, it was fairly for me to approach life with a learning attitude throughout childhood, in college, and beyond. But sometimes my assumption that everyone else knew more than me, led me to feel of inadequate.

When I first arrived at Yale as a graduate student in the early 2000s, I was completely overwhelmed in an environment filled with so many knowledgeable, accomplished and top tier people. When I returned to Yale a few years later, as an early career professor, these feelings only intensified. Now I was expected to teach, mentor and educate others in the Yale community - all while developing into a national and eventual a world-renowned expert on my research topic! Needless to say, I was strongly motivated to learn from others who had successfully navigated and achieved amidst these high expectations.

As a researcher, I frequently write scientific papers and grants that are subject to evaluation and critique. As an educator and research director, I receive formal and informal evaluations from my students and mentees. As an administrator, I hear feedback from those I’m serving in the university community and from my supervisors. I’m in environments where it’s to my benefit to listen, learn, and adjust where needed. Thankfully, my academic journey has been filled with generous mentorship, support, and constructive criticism. To be fair, I also dispense quite a bit of evaluative feedback in my role as a professor, research director, mentor and leader.

With the feedback, evaluations and criticism each of us receives, we all have a choice in how we respond. We can respond with a listening ear and a motivation to improve, or we can respond with defiance, defensiveness and bravado. As I’ve become more established and obtained a certain level of stature, I’ve also noticed something new.

This constructive criticism has been replaced with words of sincere gratitude, appreciation, support, and sometimes a bit of awe. I’ve deeply appreciated the words of affirmation, as so many of you have shared feedback about what resonates, encourages, challenges and inspires you. But I also find myself wondering if I’m missing something.

On one hand, those who invite me to speak at schools, non-profits, advocacy groups, community centers, businesses and churches have a vested interest in the topics I discuss. These audiences carry an inherent expectation they’ll learn something from me. At the same time, I still try to enter each space with a learning mindset. I’m not simply joining as an “expert” disseminating information, even when I’m asked to share expertise from my research, leadership or experience. I’m also there to listen and learn.  

In a recent radio interview, one of the hosts picked up on this perspective. After asking about my different initiatives and efforts, Tom Ackerman noted,

But there’s also a danger amidst all the affirmation. I’m one who’s driven to continuously improve. At the same time, it’s easy for me to slip into unproductive self-criticism, in the absence of external criticism. I imagine some of you can relate to the phrase I recently heard from a friend, “I’m my own worst critic.”

One of the practical ways I improve my craft is by rewatching my talks and interviews. This can be helpful, as I reflect on my effectiveness in communicating, answering questions, or empathizing with audiences. Recently, I was invited to preach a sermon at two morning church services, as part of weekend of mental health and faith events.

The sermon was well received, and I was thankful for the wonderful opportunity. But as I re-listened to the sermon, my perspective started to shift. I become annoyed at times when I didn’t enunciate my words clearly. I wondered whether the congregation resonated with my comments. I focused on places in the sermon where I could have discussed Bible verses with more depth. I felt disappointed at how often I looked at my notes, and not at the congregation (ignoring the fact that I gave 3 talks, in 4 speaking engagements, over 2 days). In re-listening to my sermon, I’d fully engaged in excessive self-criticism, creeping towards perfectionism, rather than appreciating what others had gained from the sermon.

I’m also grateful for those who remind me of the opportunities God has provided, and for the ways He’s equipped me to step into the spaces and share experiences, wisdom and knowledge. The reality is that juggling between healthy and unhealthy criticism is part of my ongoing journey.

Wellness Tip

Criticism, perfectionism, and mental health.

For this month’s practice wellness tip, I encourage you to reflect on how you approach self-criticism, and constructive criticism in general. Do you see critique as positive, negative, or dependent on the situation?

Here’s a perhaps more helpful question to consider. How do you typically respond to critique? Do you continuously replay the critical comments that you hear? Do you ruminate on your own self-critical thoughts about your performance or actions? Do you eventually feel gratitude when others take time to point out areas for improvement? Or do you often feel defensive and threatened when others correct you?  

Admittedly, I’ve asked these questions in an oversimplified manner. In truth, how we respond to constructive feedback depends on our past experiences, who’s giving the feedback, and the context in which the comments are delivered. Excessive criticism or self-criticism can be problematic for anyone, but especially those of us prone to perfectionism. The ongoing rise in perfectionism is something that has been noted for years. Approaching life with a perfectionistic mindset also increases one’s risk for mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, social phobia and even suicidal ideation.

Thankfully, there are also healthy ways for each of us to engage in constructive criticism - both as the one delivering the feedback and as the one receiving feedback. As described by Heather Stringer in this American Psychological Association article, there are helpful practical things we can consider when giving constructive criticism - aspects like context, our level of empathy, and the consistency of the feedback we provide or receive.

In the week ahead, I encourage you to reflect on how you deliver and receive feedback. If you’re willing, you can even ask a trusted friend how they see you respond to feedback, and if there are areas where you could improve. You might by surprised what you hear.

A Look Ahead

For a candid peek into my life journey and the cultural experience that’s shaped me from childhood till now, check out my upcoming appearance on the Where Ya From podcast. You’ll even hear details that I share publicly for the first time. Stayed tuned!

Redefining Discipline

Since high school, I’ve thought of myself as a very disciplined person. This is in stark contrast to my approach in middle school. At that time, I was completely satisfied with my poor grades, as long as I scored better than at least one person in the class! As I’ve shared in previous talks, like the one below, this framework finally fell apart after a family move. I brought my lackadaisical attitude to my new school, and subsequently failed my first major assignment – my 8th grade bug collection project. I’d finally scored the lowest grade in the class! The embarrassment of failing, especially as the new Black kid in the class, was enough to shake me out of my academic laziness.

Ironically, I responded by swinging to the other extreme in my academics and extracurricular activities. I remember attending a summer basketball camp where our coach talked about the benefits of shooting 100 free throws a day. I took him seriously, I started shooting 100 free throws every day, and I actually improved as a shooter.

After years of playing the cello, I decided (in May of my junior year) that I wanted to learn the bass guitar and join the jazz band. There were no guarantees I’d learn quickly enough to make the jazz band by the fall. But I was extremely motivated. Each day at school, I’d discretely “practiced” left hand bass fingerings and scales on my right arm - during all my classes. I couldn’t wait to get home each day to play the bass guitar I’d received as a birthday gift. By summer, I was practicing multiple times a day. Thankfully, I successfully auditioned and joined the jazz band by senior year. My diligence had paid off. Of course, it helped that one of the more experienced bass players in my school didn’t try out for jazz band that year.

Throughout my schooling and career, I’ve definitely benefited from diligence, dedication, practice, and persistence. Admittedly, I often attribute my “success” to opportunity, discipline, and determination rather than skill. Lately, however, I’ve started to doubt how well I maintain discipline - particularly in my team leadership, event planning, program directing and capacity building. Even as I write this, some of you may find my uncertainty about discipline somewhat comical, given my many titles and roles. I’m continuing in my leadership, committee, board member, and other roles at Yale and elsewhere. I’m still giving talks, seminars and lectures in educational, business, government, and faith community settings. Additionally, I’m planning upcoming podcast episodes and working on a new book project.

With this increasing workload, you’d expect that I’d adjust my approach in accomplishing my daily tasks and responsibilities. Towards this end, I’ve sought to increase how often I say “no” or “not yet.” But I still say “yes” fairly often. Even so, I continue to remind myself that my ongoing roles and commitments all require time and effort. In reality, this experience is not unique to me. But it’s still somewhat new to me, at least at this level. This is one of the reasons I continue to seek mentorship and guidance from those who’ve operated in this manner much longer than me.

Instead of using discipline to simply plow through tasks with brute force, I’m also trying to pay closer attention to the times when I’m effective, and times I need to pause. As a graduate student and even an early career Assistant Professor, I’d often get a “second wind” after my kids went to bed. I usually spent that time catching up on data analysis, writing, emails, and other tasks. However, my ability to maintain this pace has declined over the years. If I’m honest, there are times when my “after hours” work effectiveness and efficiency drops precipitously. Part of that is likely due to the fact that I’m little bit older. But it’s also due to the many leadership decisions, directing roles, and mentoring and support-related activities I’m involved in every day.

I’ve also noticed that my efficiency, clarity and productivity remarkably increase after I give myself time to slow down, relax or reflect. Sometimes it’s even helpful to wait until the next morning to continue my tasks. This sounds painfully obvious. But I wonder how many of us try to push through and complete tasks, when we could instead pause and return to them later, with renewed vigor.

I’m learning to apply these practices. I’m learning to give myself grace, especially when I don’t have as much time to fully immerse myself in every aspect of my writing, planning, or organizing as I’d prefer. I’m also trying be fully present in each activity, without getting mentally consumed with planning the next task or event. In doing so, I’m finding more joy in each endeavor, meeting, and planning session.

Finding Joy in the Discipline

Recently, I was invited to give a main-stage keynote talk at the 2023 American Psychological Association (APA) annual convention. I was a bit surprised by the invitation. After all, the APA is a prominent and influential organization covering various aspects of psychology (from general psychology to clinical, developmental, consumer, organizational, media psychology and more). The organization boasts a membership of 140,000 and an organizational structure with over 50 different interest groups (Divisions) across different areas of psychology.

At conference, I was asked to deliver a TEDx style, 24-minute presentation. Needless to say, I was highly motivated to deliver a high-quality talk! Amidst all my ongoing roles and responsibilities, it definitely took discipline and diligence to craft, prepare and memorize my 24-minute talk.

At the convention, I was blown away by all of the fantastic sessions, content, and networking opportunities. But I was also consumed with rehearsing and tightening up the final components of my keynote. As a result, I didn’t participate in nearly as many sessions and events as I normally would at a conference. In that moment, I had to accept the obvious reality that even with strong discipline and preparation, I still couldn’t attend everything! My dad has been giving me this same advice since high school. “You can’t do everything.” Apparently, I’m still learning this life lesson!

Instead of remaining annoyed and focused on what I was missing at APA, I tried to embrace the moment. I welcomed the opportunity to rehearse and further refine my public speaking craft. In doing so, I actually found joy in the process, in my rehearsal, and in ultimately delivering a talk that hopefully encouraged, challenged, and inspired listeners.

Wellness Tip

Delegation and Mental Wellness

In my last newsletter, I wrote about decision fatigue and I highlighted delegation as one effective tool to address this fatigue. But delegation can also have positive impacts on our overall mental health and wellness.

Some of you may already be excellent delegators. Others of you may be in the process of improving your delegation skills, as I am. In this developmental process, we often need to resist the urge to take tasks back, or to take over after we’ve already delegated. This is especially true when we feel like we could do the tasks more effectively or efficiently on our own. From that perspective, it also takes discipline to delegate.

Others of you may wish you had more people whom you could delegate to. Or perhaps you wish that your available delegates had stronger competence in taking on certain responsibilities. In these delegation scenarios, it’s paramount that we teach and guide, while also extending patience. At times, deadlines may dictate our process. So we also need to use discernment in deciding when and to whom to delegate.

I recently came across an article, written from the perspective of a business owner and mother, with helpful tips that are widely applicable. In this piece, Charlotte Lester, founder of Burnout Slayer ®, describes delegation as a way to enhance productivity, promote collaboration, decrease anxiety, and more effectively juggle multiple responsibilities. Others have also shared the benefits of delegating, also addressing the worries and myths that prevent some of us from doing so.

This week, I encourage you to reflect on your daily cadence. Are there areas where you feel stretched thin, anxious about balance, or unproductive? If so, consider one or two practical tasks or responsibilities you can delegate this week - even if it feels like a stretch to let go and delegate!

A Look Ahead

After a brief summer hiatus, we’re gearing up for new Addy Hour podcast episodes. Stay tuned for my upcoming conversation on Social Justice, Activism & Health Disparities with Dr. Kendra Outler and Dr. Pebbles Fagan. Dr. Outler is an anesthesiologist, public health activist, health disparities thought leader, and the founder of Uzima Health & Wellness. Dr. Fagan is a Professor, Researcher, leader and expert on health disparities and health disparities research, and Director of the Center Study of Tobacco at the Fay W. Boozman, College of Public Health.

In forthcoming episodes, I’ll also take deeper dive into topics of faith and science. Plus, I’ll be hosting all-star group to discuss Women in Science - Culture, Community, Leadership and Impact. Stay Tuned!

My Return to Ghana

I stepped into the brisk morning air to take everything in. I embraced the tropical heat and the beach like humidity that enveloped me. I savored the occasional refreshing breeze that washed over me. And I smiled listening to the morning greeting from a nearby crowing rooster. While I hadn’t stepped foot in Ghana in over 20 years, my first morning back felt familiar and calming. Upon my arrival the previous day, family and friends greeted me with an inviting “Welcome home!”

Driving through Accra, I immediately recognized the familiar busyness. City streets filled with cars, trucks, taxi-van “tro-tros,” motorcycles, pedestrians, street vendors, and occasional goats all sharing (or competing for) the same road. But along with the familiar, I noticed how much had changed over the last 20 plus years. I saw several new grocery stores, malls, developments, and high-rise apartments sprinkled throughout the city. I saw familiar educational institutions, like secondary schools and the University of Ghana, along with new trade schools, business schools, and student hostels. I saw restaurants and hotels serving some of my favorite Ghanaian dishes. I saw newer, local fast-food restaurants like Chicken Man, Pizza Man, and Papaye, alongside US fast food options, like KFC, Burger King and Pizza Hut!

As a neuroscientist, I couldn’t help but reflect on how I was processing this mixture of the familiar and unfamiliar.

In one particularly odd moment, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was convinced that my face looked different!

Had my appearance suddenly transformed during my first few days in Ghana? Obviously not! But I soon realized that my self-awareness and self-perception had indeed shifted. In Ghana, I was walking with, talking with and interacting with many people with whom I shared physical appearances, facial features, and culture – even with all my “Americanisms” and with the cultural diversity in Accra. My experience in Ghana differed sharply from my daily experience here in the U.S. – especially as a professor at an Ivy League academic institution.

This is not to ignore all the privileges that come with my positionality as a scientist, professor and leader. But prior to my momentary glance in the mirror, I hadn’t fully acknowledged how I typically perceive myself in many pictures, spaces and environments in the U.S.

I’ve become accustomed to standing out.

This is not to imply that I’ve become oblivious to the ways I stand out. I’ve become accustomed to the mixed emotions associated with often being one of the few or only Black people in a room. I’ve become accustomed to the all the feelings associated with entering spaces that might be welcoming, awkward, uninviting, discriminatory, or any combination of these.

In that moment, as I stood alone in front of that mirror in Ghana, I saw a familiar face that seemed like it belonged. In that moment, I gladly embraced the familiarity, serenity and peace that comes with belonging.

This story is just one of the many reflections from my time in Accra. My summer in Ghana and the U.S. has included a rich mixture of relaxation, reflection, community investment, and preparations for the upcoming academic year. While there are far too many stories to share in a short newsletter, I’ve included a few additional highlights and reflections below.

• I savored moments with aunts and uncles, filled with laughter, stories and reminiscing. While many of them are in their 80s and exhibiting the slower movements that come over a life span, they’ve thankfully kept their wit and humor.

• I returned to the sobering realities of Cape Coast castle, a castle that was one of many hubs of the transatlantic slave trade, under various European nations. I mourned the victims of slavery and the many that died within those castle walls. I grieved at the human condition that condoned such atrocities. And I clung to the words inscribed in the castle wall:

  “In Everlasting Memory. Of the anguish of our ancestors. May those who died rest in peace. May those who return find their roots. May humanity never again perpetrate such injustice against humanity. We, the living vow to uphold this.”

• I visited the newly renovated Kwame Nkrumah Memorial Park and Mausoleum, commemorating the life and legacy of Dr. Nkrumah, the first Prime Minister and first President of Ghana. I learned about his life and passions, his education at Lincoln University, a Historically Black College and University in the U.S. I read in awe, as I considered Dr. Nkrumah’s vision as a transformative leader, his many infrastructural and educational initiatives in Ghana, and the mixed reactions to his pan-African vision.

• I reflected on the tremendous growth, development and expansion in Accra over the last 20 years. I walked through new and expanded facilities at the University of Ghana Medical Centre. I heard about the plans for expanded clinical services and I toured a new clinical lab.

  

• Most importantly, I took time to be present, to observe, to listen, and to savor my experience.

Wellness Tip

Decision Fatigue and the Gift of Time

One gift from my time in Ghana was my ability to pause from my (sometimes intense) daily decision making in my many roles. I had the luxury and privilege to momentarily step away from daily leading, planning, organizing, directing, and facilitating.

Whatever our daily roles and responsibilities, we can all probably think of a time (or times) when we’ve become tired of making decisions.

For this month’s wellness tip, I encourage you to think of the last time you took a few hours or even a few days to step back from ongoing, non-stop decision making. Similar to burnout, decision fatigue can lead to irritability, in addition to making it difficult to make sound decisions. It’s worth noting that life circumstances can heavily impact whether we’re experiencing decision fatigue. Many of us can also think back to the seemingly ongoing decision fatigue during the middle of the pandemic. Admittedly, decision fatigue can easily arise at certain life stages – especially those stages involving substantial care for others. This can include raising children, caring for older parents, or caring for someone through illness.

Thankfully, there are effectives steps you can take to address decision fatigue. These include building additional habits and routines, “automating,” or delegating decisions or using any number of methods to streamline your daily decision-making process.

A Look Ahead

While we’ve paused from new podcast episodes in these summer months, I’m also preparing for upcoming events and sermons in the fall. In these events, I’ll continue to integrate topics of neuroscience, mental health, faith, and culture. Stay tuned!

As we look forward to what’s ahead, I also encourage anyone interested in these topics to check out a panel discussion I joined last year, “Is Christianity Bad for Our Mental Health?”

Moved by a Stranger’s Story.

“Speak up!” “Your voice is too deep and you’re mumbling. We can’t understand what you’re saying.” “Why are you so deadpan when you talk in front of the group?”

Growing up as a teenager, I heard these phrases often. Considering that I now find myself frequently speaking to groups of 500 or more, it feels odd to compare my current experiences with my previous challenges. Within a recent 4-week span, I was interviewed on “Mental Health and Human Flourishing” at Notre Dame University, delivered the Dr. Curtis Harper memorial keynote and some additional talks at UNC Chapel Hill, and gave a “Racial Disparities in Mental Health” keynote at a statewide behavioral health conference. This combination of speaking engagements, my ongoing lab and leadership roles, my service on multiple grant panels, and some significant family celebrations is also why you haven’t received my newsletter in a while!

With this schedule juggling act, I’m continually humbled by the positive feedback I receive at speaking events, as I sometimes squeeze these events in between other commitments. With my successful talks, it’s tempting for me to feel like I’ve arrived. After all, shouldn’t I take satisfaction in overcoming my public speaking challenges? Shouldn’t I also feel vindicated for disproving the naysayers who doubted my public speaking effectiveness? Perhaps.

In truth, I feel blessed to simply share insights from my research, leadership, and life experience. As I’ve previously written, I know that my insights have been informed by the many things I’ve learned through working with fantastic teams and collaborators. But even with all of these speaking engagements, the most meaningful moments are never captured in my keynote soundbites, articles, selfies with “fans,” social media posts, or on my CV.

My most meaningful interactions don’t occur when I’m speaking. They occur while I’m listening.

Throughout the last few weeks, I listened to stories from “strangers” where I was close to tears, felt a deep sense of connection, and observed expressions of sincere gratitude. These moments have occurred in unexpected places – on an airplane, in a Lyft, on college campus sidewalks, and in reception halls.

Here are just a few of those stories:

• A military veteran sat next to me on a plane, who was clearly anxious about flying. I started a conversation to simply acknowledge her anxiety and to provide a distraction to put her at ease. Through our dialogue, she honestly shared her life story, the traumas she had experienced, and the ways she had found support to continue navigating and thriving.

• A nutritionist, focused on gut-brain connections, who shared honestly about his own mental health journey and challenges that were ultimately linked to nutrition choices and habits.

• A retiree, activist and former mental health worker who shared powerfully about his early years, and the formative interactions he had with Martin Luther King Sr. and Martin Luther King Jr. This man’s deep sense of gratitude was palpable and thick, even though his interactions with King Sr. and King Jr. had obviously occurred decades ago.

• A graduate student sharing honestly about navigating mental health challenges and describing how she’s advocating and fighting for resources for others in similar situations.

• A Black woman attending one of my keynote talks, who felt proud hearing me speak, like I was a member of her family speaking on her behalf.

• A Black man who embraced me after one of my talks, and who shared his gratitude and his investment in his mental health-related vocation. Like others, he was also beaming with pride as we spoke.

Wellness Tip

Mental Wellness and the Power of Good Listener.

“You’re a really good listener.” This is another phrase that I heard while growing up. Thankfully, I still hear this phrase today. For a while, I attributed my good listening skills to my quiet demeaner. I reasoned that my quietness simply gave people space to open up and share. Over time, I’ve also realized that many people feel a certain ease in sharing their joys and challenges with me – even if I’ve just met them for the first time! Maybe this is due to the fact that I’m the son of psychiatrist?!

Humorously, people seem to move towards this vulnerability unintentionally. Oftentimes, they’ll later admit that they’re not sure why they opened up and shared their struggles so readily.

I’ve also become more fully aware of the power of effective listening. Not surprisingly, there are many books on this topic, and many people who’ve dedicated their lives to teaching and researching the art of listening.

Before hosting my first Addy Hour episode, my leadership coach recommended that I watch Celeste Headlee’s Ted Talk, “10 ways to have a better conversation.”

Her talk was both straightforward and transformative, as she discussed “how to talk and how to listen.” One theme that Celeste highlighted was how quickly we claim to be listening, even when we’re not fully engaged as listeners or when we’re simply waiting to talk or shift the focus to ourselves.  

This principle of effective listening is also critically important in how we support each other’s mental health.

In our previous Town Hall conversation, Vicky Sigworth (from the Elm City chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness or NAMI) emphasized the power of a good listener, in the context mental health challenges. Vicky discussed the importance of finding a mental health worker (whether a psychologist, social work, licensed counselor, psychiatrist or other mental health worker) who will take time to “listen to your story.” In addition to looking for this listening quality in others, we can be that good listener as well.

For this week’s wellness tip, I encourage you to simply reflect on how well you listen to others.

The next time you’re in conversation with someone, try reflecting on these questions:

• Are you truly being attentive to what the other person is saying? Or do you find yourself eagerly ready to share your experience, wisdom, knowledge and insight with each comment you “hear” from the other person.

• If someone is struggling emotionally, do you give them space to describe how they’re feeling and why? Or do you try to quickly give advice or solutions in order to “fix their problem?”

Taking the time to stop talking and truly listen is easier said than done. This is especially true if we care deeply about the person who’s sharing.

If a friend or loved one is struggling, most of us are highly motivated to help them move forward, or help them find a solution. It can be even harder to listen, if the solution to their challenge appears straightforward to us (but maybe not to them).

There’s definitely a time and a place for offering help and suggestions. But there’s also tremendous power that comes when we first take the time to hear, listen, understand and support - even if it means suppressing our desire to try and fix the problem in that moment!

A Look Ahead

In the spirit of strong listening, stay tuned for our next Addy Hour episode, “On Belonging with Kim Samuel.” As stated in her bio, Kim is an activist, educator, and a leading voice in the global movement of belonging. She is also the author of On Belonging: Finding Connection in the Age Isolation. In this deeply moving episode, we’ll hear Kim’s powerful story, informed by her family experiences and her educational and societal scholarship and experiences.

A 65-person collaboration!

Since beginning these newsletters, I’ve come to realize that one component I truly enjoy in my mental health, science and faith efforts is dialogue. That may sound odd, as I’m in the midst of writing to, and not conversing, with all of you in this newsletter. But it also reflects my attitude. Indeed, many of the topics I share in these writings have emerged from ongoing dialogues with you, through messages and in-person chats.

I’m grateful for the many ways I’m able to engage in deep, thoughtful and meaningful conversations with so many of you. In my speaking events, there’s something special about fielding questions from people who are deeply invested in the topic at hand. Sometimes this feeling arises in my informal discussions with students or community members. I definitely feel this in my Addy Hour podcast conversations. But I also feel it in conversation with classmates in my School of Management leadership class.

I would venture to say that in each of these scenarios, I’m experiencing “flow” — a term coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi where one is fully absorbed and simultaneously fulfilled while performing a perhaps challenging, but completely doable task or endeavor.

Last month, I wrote about my ongoing tension between speaking from depth of expertise, or speaking to a wide breadth of societally relevant topics, but with less depth. In response to that newsletter entry, I received encouraging and thoughtful feedback from you all. I greatly appreciated your input.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve also experienced several confirmations on the utility of what I’ll call “collaborative breadth.” Earlier this month, I joined Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein for an episode of his PBS program, “Healthy Minds.” The topic of our conversation was “Chemical Dependency: A Holistic Approach to Treatment.”

I went back to re-listen to our conversation, which we recorded prior to the May 1 release date. I’m grateful for the questions Dr. Borenstein asked on behalf of his viewers. The range of topics compacted into a 26-minute interview was truly impressive! We discussed mental health, the brain biology of specific mental illnesses, stigma, signs of mental illness, how to support friends and loved ones and navigate trauma, the role of faith, and much more!

At the end of our recording, I remember feeling a bit drained. It was like I had just sprinted through a forest, constantly changing direction, finally arriving at the finish line both fulfilled and exhausted. But in listening back to our conversation, I was blown away by both the breadth and depth of our conversation. I realize this statement might seem narcistic. But with my ongoing tension around depth and breadth, the interview was a tangible reminder of the breadth and depth that I’ve been able to build through so many collaborations.

In a concrete way, part of that collaboration is a result of the Addy Hour podcast. We’re 40 episodes into the podcast, where I’ve been blessed to host more than 65 guests. I’ve learned so much from each of them, as they’ve shared their stories and their expertise. I’ve also learned a great deal as I’ve done my research in preparation for each episode. It’s been eye opening and educating to learn about my guests and their efforts in so many societal spheres. I’ve also greatly benefited from our off-camera interactions, whether in prep calls or in casual conversation.

As I’ve travelled the country to speak to different groups, I’ve also tried to maintain a learning mindset, where I’m truly listening to and learning from the communities I’m speaking with. This same approach has been important in my roles as a professor, mentor and administrator.

I recently had the opportunity to speak at an early morning, faith community men’s gathering in New York City. I was invited to share about mental health and faith, based on my work and expertise. This is a relevant topic for faith communities, and men especially, given our societal precedent to keep our emotional and mental health challenges to ourselves. Thankfully, this is changing. This gathering blessed me immensely as the 50 or so participants gathered in the room were deeply engaged in the conversation. Their investment was clear to me both from the expression on their faces, and from their thoughtful questions, comments and dialogue.

Once again, I was surprised by my ability to interweave my personal narrative, the stories of others, and research evidence on a wide range of topics. As I’ve alluded to a few times in these Addy Minute writings, I probably shouldn’t be surprised at my ability to effectively engage in these conversations. I’ve received wonderful mentoring, coaching, guidance and feedback on public speaking over the years. I’ve also been intentional to include scientific research and effective clinical practices in my speaking events or interviews.  Additionally, I’ve tried to cultivate the growth and enjoyment that can come from spending time with different types of people, even those who I wouldn’t naturally gravitate toward. In doing so, I’ve gained many unexpected mentors and friends over the years. So, I'll endeavor to embrace both breadth and depth as I continue forward in these collaborative efforts.

Wellness Tip

Identifying Unnecessary Pressures

Many of us navigate the day-to-day with many competing demands for our time, attention and energy. This includes expectations at home, school or work, or from friends, relatives or even strangers on the other side of the planet (thanks a lot, technology!). I’ve noticed in myself — and others — that we often misidentify our own internal pressures, mislabeling them as external.

Let’s take a lighthearted example. I started this newsletter in December with the goal of releasing a newsletter every other week. I found the bi-weekly cadence very feasible early on, especially since I was on a mini-sabbatical. Now that I’ve returned from my “break,” it’s been more difficult to maintain that pace. Still, I’ve felt a strong pressure to keep this somewhat arbitrary schedule. After all, you all were expecting a newsletter every two weeks! Maybe you would miss the newsletter, or you would stop reading if it arrived less frequently. I acknowledge this may sound a bit extreme; however, I share this because it’s easy to see how quickly I took an internal pressure of maintaining my newsletter schedule and reimagined it as an external pressure from you, my readers.

If you’re honest, there are probably ways you’ve done the same thing in your own life.

Perhaps, you feel like you’re letting people down if you can’t respond to that email, request or task as promptly as you said you could. Maybe you feel like you’re a bad parent if you don’t take your child to that weekend party or event — even though you’ve taken them to activities for the last 10 weeks! Or maybe someone made a request that seems outside your current capacity. Somehow, you convince yourself that your co-worker, friend, loved one, supervisor, professor or students will feel extremely disappointed and hurt and be dismissive toward you if you say “no” or “not yet,” or ask for an extension.

Realistically, many people completely understand if we honestly communicate why we’re saying no. Of course, there are exceptions — especially if we’re perpetually late or frequently miss deadlines — but in many instances, we are putting undue pressures on ourselves. Many times, it’s simply a matter of saying “no” to one thing, so you can say more fully say “yes” to something else.

This week, I encourage you to evaluate whether the pressures you’re feeling are external, internal, or a mixture of both.

Try asking a trusted friend whether they think the pressures you’re facing are external or internal. Sometimes, the ones requesting our time and effort are more flexible with us than we are with ourselves. Perhaps, others have not even requested your time and effort in the first place, and you’ve put the unnecessary pressure on yourself due to your perception that you should perform, assist or provide more than you are.

For a deeper dive into this topic and some additional tips, check out this article by Madison Gonzalez.

A Look Ahead

Earlier this month, the Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III joined for a wonderful Addy Hour conversation on “Justice, Activism and the Black Church.” Dr. Moss shared so many nuggets of wisdom for each of us and for society. It was truly inspiring to hear about his church and community transformative work on the South side of Chicago – even in the face of opposition, as Dr. Moss poignantly describes here.

As he also shared in the episode,

“We find that home ownership, plus jobs, plus churches that are engaged, reduces violence dramatically. Then add gardens to the table, plus libraries and schools, the trend goes down even farther. So that’s what we’re trying to do. It’s not rocket science. We’ve been doing this for a long time. We know how to do it.”

As we continue this theme of society, stay tuned for next week’s episode: “Neuroscience and mental health research – impact or flop?” I’ll be joined by psychiatrist Dr. Diana Martinez, from Columbia University, and neuroscientist Dr. Steven Mahler, from the University of California, Irvine. We’ll jump into a conversation about their research, and their broader efforts in the classroom and in society.

Dr. Moss knows the power of community to change narratives, perspectives, and opportunities from the cradle to the grave. In light of this power, he shares his church’s ongoing transformative community development efforts on the southside of Chicago. Their three development pillars are to benefit the local community, to engage in green and sustainable endeavors, and to disrupt the mass incarceration system. Listen in to these powerful stories of that work in action, including community facilitated renovations to the renowned Carter G. Woodson library, the creation local community jobs, home ownership, and a health care clinic. These efforts also include enhanced community engagement in libraries, schools and churches.

An inspiring conversation on the power of community, especially in navigating the joys and trauma of life, to promote healthy flourishing.

With everything happening in society and the reach of social media, everyone seems to share their opinion about everything. It’s good to see many people using their spheres of influence and platforms to promote mental health, reduce stigma and speak out against social injustices. But as a society, have we veered too far toward accepting opinions and preferences as facts and expertise?

I discussed this topic with Eddie Glaude Jr., distinguished professor, author and political commentator, and AD Thomason, professor, author, speaker and award-winning filmmaker, in a previous Addy Hour conversation.

As I’ve had the opportunity to speak on many topics, I’ve been reflecting on how I show up in certain spaces and frame my comments. Whether during a live radio interview, in print, in a lecture, a keynote or a panel discussion, or in one-on-one conversations and small group settings, I wonder if my commentary on a wider breadth of topics is coming at the expense of depth.

Admittedly, my wide-ranging efforts create confusion at times. During a recent speaking event, I acknowledged this confusion, and unsurprisingly, participants confirmed that they didn’t understand my primary role or focus area. That’s probably because I don’t have one!

My various roles don’t fit in a box. I’m a university professor, neuroscientist, lab director, mentor, research advisor, educator and role model. I’m also a diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) leader at my institution and in several scientific societies. I’m a mental health advocate, a frequent speaker, a podcast host, and a person of faith who delivers occasional sermons. More recently, I’ve also engaged on many social media platforms, including Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn and TikTok.

On one hand, the opportunities are boundless. In the past few months, I’ve enjoyed interacting with several different communities — parents, high school students and college students from Southern California to State College, Pennsylvania to Upstate New York; researchers at a brain imaging institute in Tulsa, Oklahoma; and students and community members in Boston.

Over the years I’ve been blessed to speak to a range of audiences, including K-12 schools, colleges and universities, scientific conferences, community groups, churches, boards of education, governmental organizations, and Fortune 500 companies. This has provided me with incredible opportunities to learn from many different people and to share in their joys and challenges.

With my various interests and investment areas, I sometimes find it difficult to decide on a specific topic for some events. When doubt starts to creep in, I wonder whether I’m truly equipped to speak with depth or clarity on so many topics. Thankfully, as you all engage with me through the newsletter, podcast and in-person events, you continue to help me reset.

As I share stories, experiences and lessons learned with you, I’m reminded that I developed my “breadth” over several years. At a “Mental Health, Neuroscience, Hope and Healing” fireside chat with MIT students this month, I realized that I could only answer the wide ranging, insightful questions with clarity because of my unique combination of research, experiences, writings, interactions and mentoring, along with the deep investment and support I’ve received over many years.

We’ll see how my thinking continues to develop as I learn new skills to communicate with more breadth, and hopefully effectiveness! I’m so grateful to work alongside so many talented teams in these efforts. I’m also thankful for those who’ve invested in me over the years and helped me develop these interests. Finally, thanks to all of you for joining me on this journey!

I’d love to hear about how these efforts have impacted you! What podcast topics have you most appreciated? Which newsletter entries have you enjoyed? What else would you like to see added or even removed? Let me know in the comments.

Leave a comment

Wellness Tips

We’re navigating a lot as a society—both joyous occasions and ongoing challenges. Many of you mentioned that the challenge of increased mass shootings weighs heavily on you right now. This includes mass shootings covered in national media and the countless gun violence tragedies that don’t reach a national audience, as author and activist Jemar Tisby recently highlighted in Louisville, KY.

We tend to think about societal challenges through our own perspectives and experiences, even as we empathize with others’. This happened to me when I learned about Ralph Yarl, a Black teenager who was shot by an older white man after ringing the wrong doorbell when he was just trying to pick up his siblings. I couldn’t help but think of when I rang the wrong doorbell in a predominantly white neighborhood as a Black teenager, trying to find a friend’s house. It was early evening, but dark, and I wore a baseball cap like so many teens did. I’m grateful that my own situation did not end in tragedy.

So, how do we navigate these ongoing challenges? If it’s a situation that doesn’t affect us personally, do we instinctively tune it out and go about “business as usual?” Or do these continuous tragedies weigh on us, negatively impacting our daily lives? Many of us move between both these reactions. As a Black, Kansas City mother of one of Ralph’s classmates powerfully wrote, there are numerous layers and challenges to raising Black children in the U.S — something I certainly relate to.

For this week’s mental wellness tips, I share two insights from former podcast guests on managing your mental health amid disheartening news cycles. The first is from my 2021 Addy Hour conversation with Doug Middleton, former NFL player and president and founder of the Dream the Impossible foundation, and Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble, clinical psychologist, mental health expert and founder of the AAKOMA project. Her advice is simple:

“Curate your news.”

Dr. Alfiee reminds us that that we don’t need to consume negative news 24/7. You can create time and space to check in, and boundaries to decide how much—or what images—to take in or out. This doesn’t mean ignoring the realities around us; rather, you don’t need to feel obliged to constantly digest and process so many tragedies. Doug also shared poignantly about this strategy, in our podcast conversation.  

The second tip is from recent podcast guest, Dr. Thema Bryant. As she shared on Addy Hour:

We can hold the tragedy and hope together.

Dr. Thema uses this practice in her daily life. We should certainly make room to commiserate, grieve and lament tragedy. Yet, we can also feel encouraged knowing that there are people who are deeply invested in addressing these societal issues, supporting those who are negatively affected, and providing tools to navigate these challenges. While this doesn’t negate the work that needs to be done to change policy and invest in lives and communities, it does give us ways to navigate in our own lives.

A Look Ahead

Here’s a sneak peek at our upcoming episode with Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III on justice, activism, and the church.

Dr. Moss is the pastor Trinity United Church of Christ, and an author and activist with a personal and family legacy of leadership in the church and in the fight for human rights, civil rights, social justice. His pastoral and community efforts have been strongly shaped by Black history, by his father Dr. Otis Moss, Jr, and by his father’s former colleague, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As described in his bio, “Dr. Moss has practiced and preached a Black theology that unapologetically calls attention to the problems of mass incarceration, environmental justice, and economic inequality.”

You won’t want to miss this rich conversation.

In this wide-ranging conversation, Dr. Bryant graciously reveals her leadership principles as the current president of the 130,000-member APA. She highlights the important role of mentorship and sponsorship in her path to becoming the second Black woman to lead this premier psychological organization. With keen insights from her years of clinical practice, research, leadership and advocacy, she also provides helpful perspectives on the guiding psychological principles that impact both individuals and systems.

We’ll hear Dr. Bryant’s powerful inspiration and witness from working with trauma survivors and the offenders who’ve inflicted the trauma. As a “bridgebuilder” and the daughter of two pastors, Dr. Byrant also shares ways we can all thrive and bear witness amidst the joys and challenges of daily life. Finally, we consider the important role of the creative arts in holistic psychological approaches.

Join us for a rich and dynamic conversation, full of helpful perspectives and vital tips on how we can successfully navigate each day as individuals and a society.

I’m grateful for the increased societal attention placed on cultural heritage and celebrations. We celebrated Black History Month in February (you can read my reflections here) and Women’s History Month in March. Now in April, we’re celebrating Arab American Heritage Month, and then Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month in May. It’s so important to take time to learn about the history, joys, challenges and immense contributions of so many cultures here in the U.S. Of course, we also shouldn’t relegate these celebrations or acknowledgements to just one month of the year.

In that spirit, I’m combining the themes of February and March to consider the history of Black women. I’ve been specifically reflecting on the powerful history of Black women who’ve impacted mental health and mental health advocacy. Today, I’m sharing brief stories of some Black women of impact who continue to serve as role models for me.

It’s most fitting that I begin with my own family legacy—a legacy set for me by prior generations. I’m blessed to be the grandson of a woman who raised four daughters in Ghana, while also working as a school principal. I can only imagine the high expectations placed on my mother and her sisters! My grandmother valued education and instilled an enthusiasm for learning in her daughters, who all earned advanced degrees.

My mother passed this legacy along to me as well — despite the motivational detours I took before fully embracing my path. These Black women have been wonderful role models who have undoubtedly impacted me much more than I’ll ever realize.  

In addition to my family, I’m walking in a path established by trailblazing Black women in mental health who came before me. As a Black man in the U.S., I must acknowledge the challenges that Black women face in so many spaces. While many of us may know these challenges exist, it’s difficult for us to truly understand and appreciate how difficult it can be for Black women. Indeed, they are often underrepresented as both women and people of color in spaces dominated by men and others. Far too often, our Black women are navigating as “double minorities” — dealing with the disrespect, demeaning comments, disapproval or lack of opportunity that can accompany these two aspects of their identity. At the same time, there are so many who’ve addressed these challenges head on, while also contributing so valuably to the mental health space.

Today, I want to acknowledge these impacts and the ways some key Black women have set up the foundation for my efforts. Let’s recognize, revere, respect, listen to and elevate our Black women!

Dr. Beatrix Hamburg was a transformative psychiatrist and the first African American woman to graduate from the Yale School of Medicine (YSM). She focused on adolescent psychiatry and her impacts have spanned across clinical practice, research and policy. As documented elsewhere, Dr. Hamburg faced challenges navigating YSM as a woman, especially following her time at Vassar College. In her own words, she felt it was more difficult to navigate as a woman at YSM, than as a Black student. Knowing the challenges that she faced and the way she thrived makes me even more grateful for her impact on psychiatry and the way she’s served as a powerful role model. In June 2022, I was honored to attend the Yale unveiling of Dr. Hamburg’s portrait, commissioned by the YSM Program for Art in Public Spaces and created by artist Elizabeth Columba. It’s a fitting portrait to an impactful Black woman of impact and legacy.

Rachel Robinson was the wife of Jackie Robinson, the major league baseball icon who broke the color barrier in 1947. Mrs. Robinson is also the founder and former chairwomen of the Jackie Robinson Foundation. As a couple, the Robinsons had a well-documented history of altruism, activism and social change. But Mrs. Robinson is a pioneer in her own right, with a rich legacy of activism and leadership.

As stated on her profile page at the Jackie Robinson Foundation, Mrs. Robinson is “a woman of enormous accomplishment” with many different roles as a “business leader, civil rights activist, professor, nurse, wife and mother.” A few years ago, I was surprised to read about her legacy at my own institution, where she undoubtedly impacted the spaces where I work. Mrs. Robinson was an assistant professor of nursing at Yale, and a former director of nursing at the Connecticut Mental Health Center, where I also have a faculty affiliation. She also performed research focused on social and community psychiatry in New York City. She is a deeply talented and invested woman, and a true role model.

Dr. Ayana Jordan is an addiction psychiatrist at the New York University Grossman School of Medicine. Dr. Jordan is also a colleague and friend that I’ve had the pleasure of hosting on my podcast. I was privileged to serve as one of Dr. Jordan’s informal mentors at the beginning of her academic career. I deeply respect her, and have learned a tremendous amount from her as well. She is a talented and skilled clinician-scientist who navigates in academic institutions and invests in our communities of color to elevate, inform, inspire and bring recovery and healing to so many.

Dr. Jordan is deeply committed to her work, developing outstanding, community engaged, culturally informed, and highly effective partnerships between faith communities and mental health providers. For example, Dr. Jordan, along with Dr. Chyrell Bellamy (a Professor of Psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine), direct the Imani Breakthrough Project. Their project is “a faith-based, person-centered, culturally informed harm reduction recovery program that takes place in churches” — primarily Black and Latinx churches. Recently, Dr. Jordan joined a CNN Town Hall titled “America Addicted: The Fentanyl Crisis” to discuss harm reduction and life-saving tools amidst this crisis. She is a role model who is continuing to impact individuals, communities and society.

Wellness Tips

Aligning with this theme of the impact of Black women and mental health, I’m sharing a few tips from Dr. Thema Bryant, the current president of the 130,000-member American Psychological Association (APA). Dr. Thema, as she’s known, is the second Black woman to serve as APA president. In this week’s Addy Hour episode, she joins for a rich and dynamic conversation covering everything from leadership to mentorship to faith and impacting individuals and systems. Here are two practical tips from the episode:  

1. Dr. Thema provides the simple, but helpful reminder that we should all consider ways we can broaden our perspectives.

These perspectives can include that of ourselves and others. Practically, she encourages us to think creatively about ways we can intentionally learn about — or spend time with — those whose lived experiences differ from our own. The “themed months” I mentioned are a great way to start. Perspective taking, as it’s called in psychology, can also positively impact our mental health and stress responses.

2. Dr. Thema shares practical ways to assist friends or loved ones navigating life with problematic or harmful perspectives.

Rather than ignoring problematic perspectives to keep the peace, Dr. Thema encourages us to learn to engage people with effective listening, to respect the other person’s humanity (especially when we disagree with their problematic perspective), and, if necessary, to speak truth with care and grace.

A Look Ahead

I encourage you to listen to this week’s powerful podcast episode with Dr. Thema, for more in depth conversation on the topics above!

Also, stay tuned for some upcoming Addy Hour conversations on a range of justice topics, including environmental justice, criminal justice, and social justice efforts in youth culture.

And don’t forget about our recently launched Addy Hour TikTok channel, to watch helpful and entertaining video clips from me and our recent guests!