About 1965 things changed. The toy section was still pretty cool but as I flipped through the catalog another section captured my eyes; women’s pajamas and lingerie. There, right before my eyes, were pictured half-naked women posing in their undergarments. Being a good Catholic boy I immediately felt guilt and shame. Yet, I couldn’t divert my eyes. Soon, the only place I could comfortably peruse the catalog was in the privacy of our yellow-painted bathroom. In that sacred space my mother could not discover my lecherous designs.

During the length and breadth of my middle to late boyhood … the two sources of sexual excitement were … the Sears Catalog and National Geographic. The first naked breasts I remember seeing were those of African tribal women. My little mind didn’t know what to think? I didn’t understand all these new feelings and I surely was baffled and embarrassed by my physiological response. All of that, a boy of 14, 15 and 16 and no one to talk to about what was happening. It all sounds normal … cute and quaint … and probably was the experience of millions of boys across America. It was neither cute nor quaint.

As a Catholic boy I was told sex was bad, masturbation was the road to hell (or penis amputation) and girls should be avoided. 99 percent of all boys masturbate and the other 1 percent are lying … but it was awful because I thought I WAS THE ONLY BAD PERSON WHO DID THIS WEIRD THING. The fear of being caught. The shame after the excitement. The wet stain. Yet the need to gaze at the Sears Catalog or dig out that one copy of the 1965 National Geographic dad kept in the fishing closet in the basement.

1965 National Geographic - This picture was burned into my little brain

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A few days ago I decided to sell some things on Facebook MarketPlace. I had never been to the site before but a friend told me it was the perfect platform for selling my old toys and other items. I signed up and decided to flip through the listings. Pictured here are the actual listings that appeared. Listings for anyone that wishes to sell or see what is being sold, no matter one’s age.

Imagine being a boy of 14 or 15, wanting to sell a few of your Hot Wheels, and this pops up! Page after page of semi-nude and nude women on display. There will be many of you who think to yourself, ‘Well, that’s the way it is now. And those pictures aren’t all THAT bad.”

No, they ARE that bad. Granted, they aren’t necessarily going to turn boys into sexual perverts. But here is the message young boys glean, ‘Women are toys.’ And, if these boys have no one to talk to they will believe this is the way it is. This is how they will perceive women. The physiological reactions young boys have to these pictures will carry over, will be associated with all women. Some of the boys will think the pictures are funny. Others will feel shame. Others guilt. Others, a drive to find more pictures. And still others … their first dreams of being with such a woman.

You scoff or laugh at what I’m offering here? For 45 years I’ve been dealing with and writing about sexual abuse, sexual assault, male guilt, male shame, and rape. For 45 years I’ve been researching and writing about how 1-8 women have been sexually assaulted and/or raped. How 1-4, now 1-3, women are sexually abused, sexually assaulted or raped in college.

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Ask a man how he prepares to go out for a run? Answer: Put on shoes and shorts and go for a run.

Ask a woman how she prepares to go out for a run? Answer: I plan my route and tell someone the route and when I should be back. I usually run with a partner. I never run at night. I carry a weapon of some sort (a key, mace, whistle). I get nervous when men yell or whistle. I avoid groups of men who are working or standing in the street. I carry my phone. I cover up or bind myself so as not to jiggle too much. I try to look unattractive. When running, I keep my head down and don’t acknowledge people. I do my best to look confident and strong and unperturbed. Often I just skip going out for a run.

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As an old man I know that just gazing at those pictures in the Sears Catalog and National Geographic didn’t negatively impact my perspective on sex … but NOT having anyone to talk to about my reactions DID negatively impact my perspective on sex. Being told masturbation was a sin did impact my sex life. Not having anyone to explain my reactions to images and/or just telling me my reactions were shameful or sinful DID have a negative impact on my perspective about sex.

In some form or fashion all the catalogs, TV shows and movies turned me into some sort of voyeur. I think all the visual stimulus of our world turns many boys into voyeurs. Women become easy to objectify because the pictures DO objectify!! Men see women as toys or objectives or notches on a gun. Parents, pastors, professors and mentors MUST discuss the myriad of feelings and behavioral reactions boys have to visual sexual stimuli and everything that is associated with these experiences.

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I met weekly with the group of college-aged young men to discuss the topic of manhood. One night the men gathered and as usual placed their chairs in a circle. I walked into the room without saying a thing and placed a gigantic dick and balls made of clay in the center of the room. I sat down without saying a thing. The minutes clicked by. The men giggled. Comments like, ‘How’d he know my dick is that big?’ or ‘Somewhere near-by a horse now has a high voice’ were made. Then silence again. Then a question, “Dr. B, what is this about?” I didn’t say anything. 20 minutes went by and finally …

Why does looking at this giant dick make me feel nervous?

Because we never talk seriously about it.

I know I have questions.

Like what?

Like, why doesn't it always work?

Like, how do you control when you cum with a beautiful girl and everything ends in two minutes?

Like, man, my dick works UNTIL I get in bed with a woman. Then the little dude goes limp.

The discussion went on for hours. Young men talking about their dicks and their problems and their joys and their stories. Laughing. Agreeing. Sitting silently. Supporting one another. Telling embarrassing truths. Asking questions. Talking about shame. Shape. Smells. Liquids. Sneezing. Falling asleep. Wanting to please a woman but not knowing how.

THIS is the stuff, THIS is one of many pieces of the puzzle and process, that mitigates sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Understanding oneself. Understanding and appreciating the power and responsibility … and sometimes the failure or the insecurities … tied to or about this male organ. This dick, shwantz, pipe, lance, annihilator, throbber, missile, boner, hammer, screwdriver, wrecker … penis. Men discussing the violent terms. Men discussing their fears. Men asking questions they have had for years. Men avoiding sex. Men hating their penis and all the feelings associated with it.

These are the discussions we must have with older boys and young men if we are to mitigate sexual abuse and sexual assault. Women don’t exist to be experimented upon. Women don’t exist to be the throw-away-play-things of boys in man suits. Women should not be the projection point of a man’s anger or self-loathing.

We MUST change the way we prepare boys to be men if we are EVER to mitigate sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Sears catalogs and Facebook Marketplaces will always exist … but what also needs to exist is the open discussion around a boy’s thoughts and feelings after, preferably before, he encounters images of half-naked or naked women for the first time. And surely these discussions happen before he sleeps with a woman.

“You don’t let a boy sleep with a woman until he has learned his song.”

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A Regrettable Interaction. Not Assault or Rape

Mitigating Sexual Violence on College Campuses. By, T.J. Balistrieri, Ed.D.

“It was a regrettable interaction. Not assault or rape” is the gist of the statement I’ve heard repeatedly from mislead men after being accused of sexual violence (sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape). That is not the way survivors of sexual violence experience it.

There are 5,626 universities and colleges in the USA

8.7 million women attend universities and colleges

6.5 million males attend universities and colleges

Somewhere between 1-3 (2,900,000) and 1-5 (1,740,000) women will experience sexual violence during their four-year college experience, (RAINN, 2026) (CDC, 2026). Sexual Assault and rape are under-reported; so, this number is low.

“Oh, that is bullshit. Women love sex as much as men. Women just feel guilty

and then yell ‘rape’ when it was just a regrettable drunken hook-up.”

1,740,000 to 2,900,000

What kind of a culture allows that many women to be victims of violence, and does little about it? Nothing has changed since I was an RA back at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh in 1970. In 1970 I was taught that 1-4 women will experience sexual violence during their four-year university experience.

“Oh, don’t be so histrionic.

Universities have spent decades working to mitigate this problem.

There is a set of Best Practices that universities and colleges

refer to in their effort to face this problem.”

Research and campus climate data show that the prevalence of sexual violence against female college students has remained persistently high over decades, with approximately 1 in 5 (20%) to 1 in 4 (25%) of undergraduate women experiencing sexual assault or rape during their time in college, (RAINN, 2026) (National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 2026).

At the end of this post, you will find a bulleted list of the 16 to 27 Best Practices that college administrators and health practitioners have turned to, for decades, in the hope of mitigating sexual violence on their campus. Colleges and universities bench mark each other asking the same decades old question, “Which best practices do ‘you’ use to mitigate sexual violence on your campus?”

No university or college in the United States has “solved” the problem of sexual violence, (RAINN,2026). In fact, university bureaucracies discourage complaints, obstruct accountability, and protect institutional reputations, (Aljazeera, 2025).

A scientifically researched and implemented process that I developed, the Passage Process, does work.

It is understandable that readers are not willing to browse a long treatise. That said, I will present the Passage Process here in bulleted form, utilizing a building block approach to help you, the reader, conceptualize the process. I have been researching, developing and piloting this process for 30 years. I began the work in 1992 at the University of MN, Morris. Then continued to develop and pilot the process at WPI. And finally, successfully implemented the process at Bucknell University. I will present that data in an attachment.

Passage: Concepts, Precepts and Process

(1992-2026)

T.J Balistrieri, Ed.D.

Isn’t it a pity?

Isn’t it a shame?

How we break each other’s hearts

And cause each other pain

How we take each other’s love

Without thinking anymore

Forgetting to give back

Isn’t it a pity?

- George Harrison

Being a man I can only speak of men. I do not know a woman’s experience. There is no blame or blaming of others intended in what I intend to share. My experience was the same as 95% of boys and young men in our culture. You, me, we cannot know things that we do not know. We all need mentors, guides, and elders to bring the unknown

into our consciousness. Integrity, character, virtue and wisdom is borne or generated from teacher-student relationships, mentoring, healthy peer relationships, stories, places, guidance, experience and, yes, monitored mistakes. We become. The process of becoming gained only or mostly from self-taught trial and error and experimentation is tenuous at best. Dangerous to self and others. Without guidance boys become consciously or unconsciously … purposefully or accidently … violent to themselves, other genders, animals, inanimate things and nature.

A young boy seeking direction will look around to his left and to his right—

looking exclusively to his immediate peers…other boys… for wisdom and find none,

because they are just as lost and unguided as he.

-Robert Bly

· Too often student behavior is based on impulsive needs rather than thoughtful, intentional deliberation. A basic need of young people is, to be accepted and not rejected. Imagine 100’s or 1000’s of young people converging at a university. All being led to believe they are adults when they are becoming adults looking to be accepted, to be seen. All these young people, thrown into the same unknown situation and place looking side-to-side for wisdom is a veritable petri dish for violence to self and others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs explains it all quite clearly.

Imagine that most students come to campus from great homes, great situations and have reached a level of self-esteem- as stated by Maslow - where they feel safe, loved and a sense of belonging. They have a new, though fragile, sense of confidence and self-efficacy. But there is a problem. It is a fact that when humans enter a previously unknown situation or place, they drop on Maslow to feeling unsafe and insecure. The subsequent feelings are anxiety and fear.

· There are six responses. Fight, Flight, Submission, Posturing, Attending and Befriending.

The conscious or unconscious goal is to feel safe again. To belong again. To be accepted again. And there it is, to be accepted again. That is where the problems related to campus life begin. The problems of campus life center around a set of myths.

‘Boys will be boys’

‘Boys need to sew their wild oats’

‘Everybody tries alcohol and drugs in college’

‘Everybody cheats’

‘It is normal to get drunk’

‘Girls want it as bad as the boys’

“No means yes”

College behaviors based on just the ‘need’ to be accepted and not rejected are usually unsuccessful and even dangerous. Students unconsciously or consciously become vulnerable to the myths mentioned above.

Whereas deliberate, intentional behaviors and decisions are based on one’s core values social ‘neediness’ is based on pain reduction. Very few people know the definition of the word value and even fewer have ever taken the time to contemplate and articulate their values.

· A value is defined as, 1) something you have thought about, 2) something you believe, 3) something you feel strongly about, 4) something you communicate to others, 5) something you have chosen freely, and 6) something you act on skillfully and repeatedly over time.

A mature, aware, individuated person must be able to list 100-150 core values that guide their decisions and behaviors. Core values, as per the definition above, form the foundation of one’s character. If a person cannot articulate their values, if they haven’t thought through WHO they are then … when they drop back on Maslow from self-esteem to feeling unsafe and insecure … they tend to easily fall prey to peer pressure or manipulative behaviors relative to being accepted and not rejected. Bring alcohol into the picture, hormones, desire and ‘the need to please’ … there lay the recipe for sexual abuse, assault and rape.

· For decades now university administrators wrongly believe that programs and posters on sexual assault, rape and alcohol abuse work. They do not. Programs last 45 to 60 minutes. It is possible to increase a student’s awareness in such a program, but it is virtually impossible to change a student’s values and behaviors. Stand-alone programs are not effectivein changing behavior.

· The Transtheoretical Model (TTM)- The Stages of Change Model- developed by Prochaska and DiClemente inform us that change, including building or re-thinking one’s values, is a gradual, cyclical, and longitudinal process. The stages of change are, 1) pre-contemplation, 2) contemplation, 3) preparing to change, 4) change, and 5) maintenance. People change over time not after a program.

· There are three states of being that are considered during this process; Willingness, Ability and Confidence; 1) A student examines their desire, their willingness, to change and grow. Their desire to be an independent yet inter-connected person of character and integrity. Then and only then is the second state examined; 2) The ability to change and grow. Skill building is involved -such as but not limited to - stress management, learning skills, relational skills, communication skills, study skills, leadership skills, decision making, honesty, ethics, integrity, confidence, decision making, and judgment. And finally, confidence is examined, discussed and even practiced.

Simply telling someone to do something or not to do something does not work and does not elicit

Compliance or change. Having famous or popular people telling their stories does not work. Threats

And posters and rules do not work. The key is to teach boys and young men HOW to be men of

character, humility, honor, kindness, virtue and integrity.

· Teaching and mentoring all these skills over time creates high self-esteem. Self-esteem has four components; 1) holistically examining, appreciating and loving oneself, 2) knowing that one is loved unconditionally by at least one other person, 3) feeling and knowing that oneself is worthy, and 4) doing things of worth for others part of the equation.

Students are invited to, asked to, ‘Never speak poorly of themselves ever again.’ How can we ask students to think highly of others if they cannot think highly of themselves? It is an amazing experience when asking people to never speak poorly of themselves. They can’t or won’t do it. Somehow, in our culture we have learned that self-deprecation is ok. It is not. It is one of the most destructive creators of violence that exists in our culture. This issue, this request, takes months to teach and to be accepted.

· A vital aspect of developing character is introducing the concept of ‘the sacred’. People wrongly believe that the ‘the sacred’ only refers to spiritual or religious contexts. I have found the introduction of this concept is one of the MOST belief and behavior changing aspects of Passage. Sacred is defined as, 1) worthy of kindness, 2) worthy of non-violence, 3) worthy of respect, 4) worthy of awe, 5) worthy of the gifts of life, 6) worthy of safety, and 7) worthy of love.

If a person does not see themselves as sacred, how can we ever expect them to

treat others as sacred? It takes time to build or re-build self-esteem and to seed the concept of the

sacred Students get it … ‘Why would I get drunk, use drugs, harm myself, harm others, destroy my

university (the house or dorm) or harm nature if I now understand and know I am sacred and all

things are sacred?

· Teaching young men, the four stages of male development and the concept of the feminine is vital to the mitigation of sexual violence. I won’t take the time and space to explain the entirety of the theory but very basically the four stages are; 1) In the first stage of male development men are taught to see women as either sluts or goddesses. College men want to marry a goddess but hope there are a lot of sluts around, (men laugh, knowingly, when I present this). There are exercises the men complete so that they can see for themselves this is true, (for example they are asked to create a list of the romantic and positive words and phrases we have for intercourse. And then, to create a list of all the violent carpentry type words and phrases we have for intercourse. This simple exercise moves many men from ‘contemplation to preparing to change’ on the TTM.

· At the beginning of the process… be it a weekend, a week, a month or a year each young man is given a plant. A simple little plant that they are told to name (preferably a feminine name but the choice is theirs). They carry the plant in with them for our meetings together and care for the plant over the period we are all experiencing this Passage Process. As time passes the young men introduce their plant to everyone, present updates and stories about their plant.

At the end of the Passage Process the men are asked to bring their plant to this final meeting. The plants have grown … the men joke around with one another as they compare painted pots, stories, newly acquired gardening skills and it is easy to observe a sense of caring from most of the men. For those who blew off the assignment I’ve often seen a look of regret or sadness on their faces. The men are told to introduce their plants one final time … and then are told that in five minutes they will take the plant out of the dirt … tear the plant up … and throw it into the middle of the room.

Every single time the room grows deathly quiet … the men begin to defend their plant … defend their relationship … and then they begin to attack the group leader. They will ask why this must be done? “Because I said so, I’m the leader”. Men stand up and tell stories of their plant and how much they love it. Men cry. Some men try to leave the room. They question the entire thing. They wonder if the entire Passage Process was a lie?! This can go on for an hour … the men defending the plant and even using terms they learned in the Process; non-violence, non-stealing, love, independence.

Finally, they are told they do not have to do this, that they don’t have to kill their plant. Then they are asked why they think this exercise was undertaken? And every single time they get it. They generalize their experience to the world … to women, to their families and to Mother Nature herself. They are becoming men of integrity and character… civilized, balanced, kind men who understand that all life is sacred. This simple exercise is one they never forget.

Footnote: I had an experience with a group of adults who were actively in a cult. I was with them for a period of two weeks. When it came time to kill the plants they all nodded their heads in agreement and some even began to pull the plants from the dirt. I had to stop them before they killed the plant. When asked why they would do this their answer was… ‘because you said so.’ Frightening. As time passed some of the people left the cult … they called me and said, “I left the cult because that day of the plants … I thought about that day and my willingness and ability to kill …a nd I realized … that was not my value … I was simply doing what I was told … without belief … because I wanted to be accepted (and not rejected) by the other members of the group.”

· The concept of feminine tones is introduced at this time in the process. Feminine tones are defined and men are asked to compare feminine and masculine tones in terms of words, behaviors, interests and are asked to delineate their own feminine and masculine tones. Only once this exercise is fully completed do we introduce the second stage of male development; 2) a man realizes and accepts their own feminine tones and thus can see women as women, not toys or sluts or things to be had. 3) as the man continues to develop and believes that all things are sacred, he begins to see a woman as a person. This is a huge development in the mitigation of sexual violence. 4) The fourth stage is when a man sees a woman as himself. This is a highly existential understanding … but I have witnessed male students grasping this understanding. This is the full circle of wisdom, character, virtue and honor.

· Another powerful discussion that past participants have noted as life changing is the introduction of the Yamas. Each Yama has layers of understanding. The Yamas are non-violence, non-hoarding, non-stealing, non-lying, and non-grasping. For example; in the past young men are deeply moved when they realize the Yama of non-stealing can refer to not stealing the happiness of a woman … or her sense of trust … or her love of intimacy if they steal that from her in the act of drunken or sober sexual violence. And then they realize, ‘Not only would I steal her joy and sense of self, but I steal and destroy mine in the process.’

· The positive and negative male archetypes are introduced, discussed and men are asked to contemplate and write about the archetypes they use and those they need to learn. The four basic Jungian archetypes of Monarch, Warrior, Magician and Lover are presented along with their negative aspects. This language becomes part of the jargon used throughout the remainder of the year.

· During this entire process men are requested to keep a diary that can serve as an autobiography and serves as a marker, a record of, their change. I have had men from 30 years ago call and tell me they re-read their autobiography on a regular basis.

· The Karpman Model of communication and engagement is taught, and the young men are asked to consider the model in their lives. Persecutor. Rescuer. Victim. This model is another eye-opener for the young men.

· Topics that men rarely discuss but ache to discuss are presented; masturbation, ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, porn, porn addiction, premature ejaculation, low libido, anatomy of men and women, gay sex, body image, relationship pressures, alcohol use and abuse, sexual violence, bystander training, dating mores and taboos. These topics are presented weekly which gives men time to contemplate and apply these to their own lives. Men are invited to speak to their mentor, their parents, their partners about any or all these topics.

· During this time men create a tempering project. This has nothing to do with, ‘losing their temper anger wise’ but has to do with their being tempered during this entire year. As a piece of iron is tempered by earth, air, water and fire to become a beautiful, flexible, sharp tool … these men are tempered by mentors, time, experiences, tears, fear, joy, knowledge and wisdom. What they create during the entire process mirrors their own creation as a man. (Past participants have created paintings, books of poetry, music, a chair, an actual sword, a novel … the creativity is inspiring.) The completed tempering project is shared, explained to the group and is part of their closing ceremony.

· During this time, which is a full two semesters, each young man finds a mentor. A mentor must be a male and can be a teacher, professor, relative, friend of the family or any older man who is willing to find time to discuss life with the student.

· During this time, in the second semester, women are introduced into the process. Women are asked to answer the difficult questions the men might have for them. Women discuss romance, sex, behavior, communication, power, relationship and a myriad of other topics.

· As the ‘year’ ends, men are asked to answer questions like; What do you stand for? What or who would you die for? What is integrity? What is courage? What is love? What is a warrior? What kind of man do you envision yourself becoming? How do you want to be remembered? Do you create or do you destroy?

· Finally, a closing ceremony is held. Parents, partners, friends, family and administrators are invited. A portion of the ceremony is private and between and among the young men only. The closing portion is witnessed, witnessed, by the community. And then, the young man is welcomed into the community of men. This, too, is a process. But imagine by year three how those who have been ‘initiated’ now mentor and/or attend the closing ceremony that announces, we are a culture of non-violent men who respect the feminine within ourselves, others, women and Mother Nature.

Key terms in the Passage Process include; love, sacredness, agency, responsibility, respect, theft, honesty, ethics, values, creating, self-esteem, integrity, honor, truth, kindness, character, leadership, worth, generativity, generosity, humility, self-care, feminine tones, masculine tones, archetypes, sobriety, use vs abuse, tenacity and confidence.

I hope this gives you an idea of the Passage Process and its very components. I hope you can begin to understand why and how this process is necessary if we are to finally mitigate sexual violence on campus.

Dare to be Benchmarked. Stop benchmarking other universities who have not succeeded in mitigating sexual violence on their campus. This process is vital to the health and welfare of millions of people. As these young people graduate imagine the character they will bring to their place of business, their marriage, their community. Men Acting Like Men will have a new understanding, new meaning. It will take three years to change the current campus culture, but all of this is worth the lives of millions.

The 16 – 27 Best Practices in Higher Education for Mitigating Sexual Violence on College Campuses.

- Implement multi-session training that includes peer-led discussions,

role-playing, and guest speakers on the topic of sexual assault and

rape.

- Teach clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent as active

communication rather than just rules to memorize. Explicitly

address how alcohol and drug impairment impact the ability to

consent.

- Address attitudes that excuse harassment, objectification, or

coercion, involving student leaders, athletic teams, Greek life, and

social organizations as positive messengers.

- Implement evidence-based programs to train students, faculty, and

staff to recognize concerning situations.

- Train bystanders to safely intervene without putting themselves in danger.

- Audit and renovate campus “hot spots”

- Improve lighting, increase visibility, and place clear safety and resource information across

campus.

- Combine targeted alcohol management policies with campus-wide

prevention strategies, as high-risk drinking environments strongly

correlate with increased vulnerability.

- Partner with campus groups—such as athletic departments,

theater, student government, and Greek organizations—to model

egalitarian behavior and shift community standards.

- Establish transparent, trauma-informed policies with multiple,

confidential reporting options that make survivor resources easy to

find.

- Ensure institutional accountability by fairly tracking, investigating,

and disciplining perpetrators over time.

- Conduct anonymous campus climate surveys to track how safe

students feel, measure assault prevalence, and evaluate whether

institutional changes build trust and increase reporting.

- Require training for all employees to recognize, handle, and report

sexual misconduct.

- Conduct thorough background checks that explicitly exclude

individuals with a history of violent behavior.

- Establish transparent, accessible, and straightforward procedures

for reporting incidents.

- Create programs, leadership roles, and spaces that build agency

and safety for female students.

- Support and run student-led or institutional campaigns to educate

the campus community.

- Implement evidence-based educational and intervention programs

across campus

- Provide comprehensive, clear education defining enthusiastic and

ongoing consent.

- Offer academic credit for courses focused on gender equality and

healthy relationships.

- Provide reliable transportation or walking escorts across campus

grounds, especially at night.

- Taking reports seriously: Treat all survivor disclosures with

empathy, credibility, and zero victim-blaming.

- Accountability for perpetrators: Hold offenders accountable

through fair disciplinary processes regardless of their athletic,

social, or academic status.

- Utilize campus safety apps that allow quick alerts, GPS tracking,

and emergency contacts.

- Offer accessible, professional counseling services dedicated to

trauma-informed care.

- Survivor support groups: Facilitate safe, peer-led or clinician-led

support groups for healing and community.

- Coordinate cross-departmental efforts (security, health, student

affairs, and administration) to ensure a unified approach to campus

safety.

I spent two full semesters living with the SAE Fraternity on the Bucknell University Campus where I employed the Passage Process. What follows are some of the comments left by members of the fraternity and their parents. It is important to note there were no sexual violence cases, a significant decrease in alcohol and drug use, only one student who was written up by campus security, GPA for the house increased by ½ grade point, the self-esteem of every young man improved significantly and young women on campus reported that the SAE was the safest place on campus.

I have included a few comments from the fraternity members and their parents below.

Fraternity Members Comments

• Life changing, seriously life changing. I hope to never forget what I have learned. I don’t think this evaluation can accurately show what has gone on in this house. How we have changed and what an incredible year it has been. We struggled along the way but individuals stepped up and we came together as brothers and housemates to create an incredible living environment. The best part of our house is how different it is than every other residence hall and fraternity house. We have a mutual respect and code among ourselves. Unlike Public Safety or the Police out to catch people drinking or breaking rules we governed ourselves. This allowed us to have very few disciplinary problems in the house and live in a civil manner with each other. I loved this year and I hope the faculty and everyone else who loves to stereotype fraternities sees how incredible this house is and how incredible the people are who live here. I would do anything for these guys and especially for Dr. Tom. We felt the school turned its back on us. We were the lost boys. Dr. Tom saved us and showed us how to save ourselves.

• All in all, Dr. Tom is now like a second father to me. The amount of respect I have for the man is exponential.

• Before: I smoked pot more than 5 times a day, averaged 60 drinks per week, frequently used other drugs and was depressed. After; I have not smoked pot or used any other drugs in 40 days, average less than 20 drinks per week, am no longer depressed and am the happiest I have ever been. I have my key and wake up with determination and go to sleep with satisfaction. Every experience I have with Dr. Tom is impactful, long lasting and highly valued. Because of that I now have far more respect for myself.

• Although living in this house in these conditions was clearly not the ideal situation for us I think we would all agree that it has turned out better than we could have hoped. To Dr. Tom, thank you for everything you have given us. Being a positive influence selflessly devoting your time and understanding and believing in us.

• Dr. Tom helped me through some hard times, encouraged me to get help and was nothing but a positive influence.

• Dr. Tom really helped me with my anxiety issues and gave me many ways to control it.

• Dr. Tom is a great man and did everything he could to help us. He never forced rules upon us that were ridiculous or to the extreme. He didn’t live with an iron fist and I believe that is why he had such success. We all love Dr. Tom and his dedication to us.

• This has been the most important year in my life. Dr. Tom has been instrumental in a personal transformation I have undergone in the past year.

• It is truly sad to see Dr. Tom leave. He has done wonders for this special group that moved into this house last fall. I can honestly say we are the luckiest guys on campus this year to have such an honorable and well-spoken man to lead us into the next chapter of our lives. All I can say is thank you for a wonderful year.

• I have far more respect for myself and my day-to-day life revolves around doing good things for my future. What we learned in Passage is so deep and complex I cannot express in words or in a sentence. Everything that we learned in Passage does tie into life experience.

• Everyone has changed to be more responsible and to care about others. A new sense of responsibility. There was virtually no pot smoking in the house second semester. Dr. Tom used to stick up for us at the beginning of the year by saying, “I know you are all great young men, and we can have the best house on campus.” I am so happy that we proved to ourselves and the school that we are some of the best people at this school and can escape the SAE stereotype.

• I am more knowledgeable and in touch with my emotions. I know what I can and cannot change. Dealing with acceptance of my past has led to bettering me in the present.

• The discussion on non-stealing (not physically) was so important for me. How we harm others by stealing their sense of safety, self-respect and even their decency.

Parent Comments

• Dear Tom ...You have a gift. Your authentic way you reached out to these boys enabled them to start to turn themselves around I am amazed the school didn’t do whatever it took to keep you? It shows me Bucknell does not have a very deep commitment to developing the whole person, that they think students should be there only for academics.

• Dr. Balistrieri, it is a sad day when a liberal arts college turns it back to developing the whole person. The university doesn’t deserve you but the boys coming up do and that is the tragedy.

• Dear Dr. Balistrieri Thank you for all you did with Jon, thank you for creating a place where he could get out issues and start to piece his life back together. I am sure I don’t know 95% of it.

• Tom: I have not had the opportunity to meet you over the past year, but I wanted to let you know that my husband and I appreciate all the efforts that you extended toward our son Evan. I know that you and this experience have made a lasting impression on him. We have always tried to impart to him the importance of character, integrity and doing what is right. We are very glad that Evan spent this time on this very worthwhile experience of living in the house and all that that entailed. My husband and I wish you continued success in your career.

• Wow!! You and your wife should be so thrilled with the unbelievable influence you have had on these boys, I know you meant the world to Peter especially and a difficult time in their lives. Peter is away this semester, and I am so thrilled he is having such a great time in South Africa but very sad he didn’t have the opportunity to spend the last couple months with you. He lives his key and I know will always hold an important part of his growth to you. I hope we will have the opportunity to see you again. Love to you. Suzan, Erik. And Ben

• Thank you Tom The impact you’ve had on these young men, and their residential program is immeasurable. The attitude and actions of the young men of St. George Street have changed dramatically and it is all due to you. The conversations I’ve had this year with individuals like Wagner, Alden, French, Sandy, Jon, and Ryan. And yes, even Bo is much different than it has been in the past. All positive. We will miss your impact and all you’ve done greatly.

Give me a second to explain just how seriously a sacred covenant is regarded. It begins with the eagle. The eagle flys higher than any other bird and therefore is closest to the Tunkasila, Wi… The Sun. The eagle takes the ton (tohn), the spiritual power and life force, of the sun and stores it in the quills of its feathers. This is why eagle feathers are treated with such care and respect.

Before one makes a covenant it is explained that the eagle will come and take your pledge in its claws … soar up into the sky … and hold that pledge until the day you die. On that auspicious day the eagle will deliver the pledge to the Tunkasilas and let them know you are an honorable soul, that you lived up to your promise.

If you break your pledge or don’t live up to the covenant, the Eagle drops your empty promise back to earth. Breaking such a promise wounds the medicine man or woman, one’s mentor, possibly one’s family as well as the promise maker/breaker.

Such a covenant, a pledge between oneself and the Tunkasilas, is usually heard during a ceremony such as sweat lodge (Ini) or a night sing (Lowampi). Songs are sung by the medicine person and singers that call out to the spirits and calls them in to the ceremony to witness the pledge. As the person makes their pledge a very powerful song is sung. A song that one rarely hears, even on the reservation.

The song is about the Thunder Beings, the Wakinyan. The song says, ‘Up in the clouds watch as the Wakinyan walk around the edge of the dark cloud. Lightning coming from their eyes. They are listening to what you have to say.’ I have heard that song sung only three or four times. It is that powerful and that serious.

Pledges, covenants, are not to be taken lightly or played with … as one is making this pledge with tunkasila … not a person. Such pledges are considered for a long time before one is even allowed to make such a pledge. I cannot find the words to help you understand the importance and severity of such a promise.

I’m sharing this because an important component of the Passage Process, the Process undertaken by young men that mitigates violence to self and others, is this; after completing Passage and during the closing ceremony, a young man makes a pledge to the universe stating that they will never violate a woman or the feminine, including Mother Earth. The young man is making a pledge to not harm, abuse, assault, sexually assault or rape girls, women, Mother Earth and themselves.

Then the young man is encouraged to repeat their vow to the universe once a week. Such a practice keeps the vow, the covenant, alive and interactive. It takes all of three minutes, once a week, to face the sky and repeat the covenant, the Wokíčhuŋze. This is the stuff of being a warrior. This is the stuff of being a man of character.

So, as you re-read my last post, you can add this simple yet important ceremony to the list of what is discussed and practiced in the course of the Passage Process.

Changing the Rape Culture

Rape, to Pedophilia, to the Climate Crisis

OCT 24, 2026

- Renee Wilde

I will never stop trying to get ONE UNIVERSITY to take a scientific risk,

and make the effort towards mitigating sexual violence on their

campus. Just one university that really wants to stop this American

horror. One university that Dares to be Benchmarked!! Please help me to get this

message out to universities and colleges. Together we CAN save thousands of lives

from becoming plagued by the wounds of sexual violence. Such an effort will

eventually impact pedophilia, sexual harassment in professional settings and even the

attack on Mother Earth and the Climate. Rape of the feminine is much larger than we

currently understand.

by Genesis

I am sending the following to the President of Wesleyan University,

President Roth. A president who seems to sincerely intend to erase sexual violence on

his campus.

A Regrettable Interaction. Not Assault or Rape

Mitigating Sexual Violence on College Campuses. By, T.J. Balistrieri, Ed.D.

“It was a regrettable interaction. Not assault or rape” is the gist of the

statement I’ve heard repeatedly from mislead men after being accused

of sexual violence (sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape). That is not the

way survivors of sexual violence experience it. There are 5,626 universities and

colleges in the USA 8.7 million women attend universities and colleges.

6.5 million males attend universities and colleges. Somewhere between 1-3 (2,900,000)

and 1-5 (1,740,000) women will experience sexual violence during their four-year

college experience, (RAINN, 2026) (CDC, 2026). Sexual Assault and rape are under-

reported; so, this number is low.

“Oh, that is bullshit. Women love sex as much as men. Women just feel guilty

and then yell ‘rape’ when it was just a regrettable drunken hook-up.”

1,740,000 to 2,900,000 women are assaulted and/or raped

What kind of a culture allows that many women to be victims of violence, and does

little about it? Nothing has changed since I was an RA back at the University of

Wisconsin-Oshkosh in 1970. In 1970 I was taught that 1-4 women will experience

sexual violence during their four year university experience.

“Oh, don’t be so histrionic.” Universities have spent decades working to mitigate this

problem. There is a set of Best Practices that universities and colleges refer to in their

effort to face this problem.

Research and campus climate data show that the prevalence of sexual

violence against female college students has remained persistently high

over decades, with approximately 1 in 5 (20%) to 1 in 4 (25%) of

undergraduate women experiencing sexual assault or rape during their

time in college, (RAINN, 2026) (National Sexual Violence Resource

Center, 2026).

At the end of this post, you will find a bulleted list of the 16 to 27 Best

Practices that college administrators and health practitioners have

turned to, for decades, in the hope of mitigating sexual violence on their

campus. Colleges and universities bench mark each other asking the

same decades old question, “Which best practices do ‘you’ use to

mitigate sexual violence on your campus?” No university or college in the United

States has “solved” the problem of sexual violence, (RAINN,2026). In fact, university

bureaucracies discourage complaints, obstruct accountability and protect institutional

reputations, (Aljazeera, 2025).

A scientifically researched and implemented process that I developed,

the Passage Process, does work. It is understandable that readers are not willing to

browse a long treatise. That said, I will present the Passage Process here in bulleted

form, utilizing a building block approach to help you, the reader, conceptualize the

process. I have been researching, developing and piloting this process for 30 years. I

began the work in 1992 at the University of MN, Morris. Then continued to develop

and pilot the process at WPI. And finally, successfully implemented the process at

Bucknell University. I will present that data in an attachment.

Passage: Concepts, Precepts and Process(1992-2026)

T.J Balistrieri, Ed.D.

Isn’t it a pity?

Isn’t it a shame?

How we break each other’s hearts

And cause each other pain

How we take each other’s love

Without thinking anymore

Forgetting to give back

Isn’t it a pity?

- George Harrison

Being a man I can only speak of men. I do not know a woman’s

experience. There is no blame or blaming of others intended in what I

intend to share. My experience was the same as 95% of boys and

young men in our culture. You, me, we cannot know things that we do

not know. We all need mentors, guides, and elders to bring the unknown

into our consciousness. Integrity, character, virtue and wisdom is borne

or generated from teacher-student relationships, mentoring, healthy

peer relationships, stories, places, guidance, experience and, yes,

monitored mistakes. We become. The process of becoming gained only

or mostly from self-taught trial and error and experimentation is

tenuous at best. Dangerous to self and others. Without guidance boys

become consciously or unconsciously … purposefully or accidently …violent to

themselves, other genders, animals, inanimate things and nature.

A young boy seeking direction will look around to his left and to his right—

looking exclusively to his immediate peers…other boys… for wisdom and

find none, because they are just as lost and unguided as he.

-Robert Bly

· Too often student behavior is based on impulsive needs rather than

thoughtful, intentional deliberation. A basic need of young people is, to

be accepted and not rejected. Imagine 100’s or 1000’s of young people

converging at a university. All being led to believe they are adults when

they are becoming adults looking to be accepted, to be seen. All these

young people, thrown into the same unknown situation and place

looking side-to-side for wisdom is a veritable petri dish for violence to

self and others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs explains it all quite clearly.Imagine that

most students come to campus from great homes, great

situations and have reached a level of self-esteem- as stated by

Maslow - where they feel safe, loved and a sense of belonging. They

have a new, though fragile, sense of confidence and self-efficacy. But

there is a problem. It is a fact that when humans enter a previously

unknown situation or place, they drop on Maslow to feeling unsafe and

insecure. The subsequent feelings are anxiety and fear.

· There are six responses. Fight, Flight, Submission, Posturing, Attending

and Befriending.The conscious or unconscious goal is to feel safe again. To belong

again. To be accepted again. And there it is, to be accepted again. That

is where the problems related to campus life begin. The problems of

campus life center around a set of myths.

‘Boys will be boys’

‘Boys need to sew their wild oats’

‘Everybody tries alcohol and drugs in college’

‘Everybody cheats’

‘It is normal to get drunk’

‘Girls want it as bad as the boys’

“No means yes”

College behaviors based on just the ‘need’ to be accepted and not

rejected are usually unsuccessful and even dangerous. Students

unconsciously or consciously become vulnerable to the myths

mentioned above.

Whereas deliberate, intentional behaviors and decisions are based on

one’s core values social ‘neediness’ is based on pain reduction. Very few

people know the definition of the word value and even fewer have ever

taken the time to contemplate and articulate their values.

· A value is defined as, 1) something you have thought about, 2)

something you believe, 3) something you feel strongly about, 4)

something you communicate to others, 5) something you have chosen

freely, and 6) something you act on skillfully and repeatedly over time.

A mature, aware, individuated person must be able to list 100-150 core

values that guide their decisions and behaviors. Core values, as per thedefinition

above, form the foundation of one’s character. If a person

cannot articulate their values, if they haven’t thought through WHO they

are then … when they drop back on Maslow from self-esteem to feeling

unsafe and insecure … they tend to easily fall prey to peer pressure or

manipulative behaviors relative to being accepted and not rejected.

Bring alcohol into the picture, hormones, desire and ‘the need to please’

… there lay the recipe for sexual abuse, assault and rape.

· For decades now university administrators wrongly believe that

programs and posters on sexual assault, rape and alcohol abuse work.

They do not. Programs last 45 to 60 minutes. It is possible to increase a

student’s awareness in such a program, but it is virtually impossible to

change a student’s values and behaviors. Stand-alone programs are

not effectivein changing behavior.

· The Transtheoretical Model (TTM)- The Stages of Change Model-

developed by Prochaska and DiClemente inform us that change,

including building or re-thinking one’s values, is a gradual, cyclical, and

longitudinal process. The stages of change are, 1) pre-contemplation, 2)

contemplation, 3) preparing to change, 4) change, and 5) maintenance.

People change over time not after a program.· There are three states of being that are

considered during this process; Willingness, Ability and Confidence; 1) A student

examines their desire, their willingness, to change and grow. Their desire to be an

independent yet inter-connected person of character and integrity. Then

and only then is the second state examined; 2) The ability to change

and grow. Skill building is involved -such as but not limited to - stress

management, learning skills, relational skills, communication skills, study

skills, leadership skills, decision making, honesty, ethics, integrity,

confidence, decision making, and judgment. And finally, confidence is

examined, discussed and even practiced.

Simply telling someone to do something or not to do something does

not work and does not elicit

Compliance or change. Having famous or popular people telling their

stories does not work. Threats

And posters and rules do not work. The key is to teach boys and young

men HOW to be men of

character, humility, honor, kindness, virtue and integrity.

· Teaching and mentoring all these skills over time creates high self-

esteem. Self-esteem has four components; 1) holistically examining,

appreciating and loving oneself, 2) knowing that one is loved

unconditionally by at least one other person, 3) feeling and knowing

that oneself is worthy, and 4) doing things of worth for others part of

the equation.

Students are invited to, asked to,

‘Never speak poorly of themselves

ever again.

’ How can we ask students to think highly of others if they

cannot think highly of themselves? It is an amazing experience when

asking people to never speak poorly of themselves. They can’t or won’t

do it. Somehow, in our culture we have learned that self-deprecation is

ok. It is not. It is one of the most destructive creators of violence thatexists in our culture. This issue, this request, takes months to teach and

to be accepted.

· A vital aspect of developing character is introducing the concept of

‘the sacred’

. People wrongly believe that the ‘the sacred’ only refers to

spiritual or religious contexts. I have found the introduction of this

concept is one of the MOST belief and behavior changing aspects of

Passage. Sacred is defined as, 1) worthy of kindness, 2) worthy of non-

violence, 3) worthy of respect, 4) worthy of awe, 5) worthy of the gifts

of life, 6) worthy of safety, and 7) worthy of love.

If a person does not see themselves as sacred, how can we ever expect

them to

treat others as sacred? It takes time to build or re-build self-esteem and

to seed the concept of the

sacred Students get it …

myself, harm others, destroy my

‘Why would I get drunk, use drugs, harm

university (the house or dorm) or harm nature if I now understand and

know I am sacred and all

things are sacred?

· Teaching young men, the four stages of male development and the

concept of the feminine is vital to the mitigation of sexual violence. I

won’t take the time and space to explain the entirety of the theory but

very basically the four stages are; 1) In the first stage of male

development men are taught to see women as either sluts or

goddesses. College men want to marry a goddess but hope there are a

lot of sluts around, (men laugh, knowingly, when I present this). There

are exercises the men complete so that they can see for themselves this

is true, (for example they are asked to create a list of the romantic and

positive words and phrases we have for intercourse. And then, to createa list of all the violent carpentry type words and phrases we have for

intercourse. This simple exercise moves many men from ‘contemplation

to preparing to change’ on the TTM.

· The concept of feminine tones is introduced at this time in the

process. Feminine tones are defined and men are asked to compare

feminine and masculine tones in terms of words, behaviors, interests

and are asked to delineate their own feminine and masculine tones. Only

once this exercise is fully completed do we introduce the second stage

of male development; 2) a man realizes and accepts their own feminine

tones and thus can see women as women, not toys or sluts or things to

be had. 3) as the man continues to develop and believes that all things

are sacred, he begins to see a woman as a person. This is a huge

development in the mitigation of sexual violence. 4) The fourth stage is

when a man sees a woman as himself. This is a highly existential

understanding … but I have witnessed male students grasping this

understanding. This is the full circle of wisdom, character, virtue and

honor.

· Another powerful discussion that past participants have noted as life

changing is the introduction of the Yamas. Each Yama has layers of

understanding. The Yamas are non-violence, non-hoarding, non-stealing,

non-lying, and non-grasping. For example; in the past young men are

deeply moved when they realize the Yama of non-stealing can refer to

not stealing the happiness of a woman … or her sense of trust … or her

love of intimacy if they steal that from her in the act of drunken or

sober sexual violence. And then they realize,

‘Not only would I steal her

joy and sense of self, but I steal and destroy mine in the process.’

· The positive and negative male archetypes are introduced, discussed

and men are asked to contemplate and write about the archetypes they

use and those they need to learn. The four basic Jungian archetypes of

Monarch, Warrior, Magician and Lover are presented along with their

negative aspects. This language becomes part of the jargon used

throughout the remainder of the year.· During this entire process men are requested to keep a diary that can

serve as an autobiography and serves as a marker, a record of, their

change. I have had men from 30 years ago call and tell me they re-read

their autobiography on a regular basis.

· The Karpman Model of communication and engagement is taught, and

the young men are asked to consider the model in their lives.

Persecutor. Rescuer. Victim. This model is another eye-opener for the

young men.

· Topics that men rarely discuss but ache to discuss are presented;

masturbation, ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, porn, porn addiction,

premature ejaculation, low libido, anatomy of men and women, gay sex,

body image, relationship pressures, alcohol use and abuse, sexual

violence, bystander training, dating mores and taboos. These topics are

presented weekly which gives men time to contemplate and apply these

to their own lives. Men are invited to speak to their mentor, their

parents, their partners about any or all of these topics.

· During this time men create a tempering project. This has nothing to

do with,

‘losing their temper anger wise’ but has to do with their being

tempered during this entire year. As a piece of iron is tempered by

earth, air, water and fire to become a beautiful, flexible, sharp tool …

these men are tempered by mentors, time, experiences, tears, fear, joy,

knowledge and wisdom. What they create during the entire process

mirrors their own creation as a man. (Past participants have created

paintings, books of poetry, music, a chair, an actual sword, a novel …

the creativity is inspiring.) The completed tempering project is shared,

explained to the group and is part of their closing ceremony.

· During this time, which is a full two semesters, each young man finds a

mentor. A mentor must be a male and can be a teacher, professor,

relative, friend of the family or any older man who is willing to find time

to discuss life with the student.· During this time, in the second semester, women are introduced into

the process. Women are asked to answer the difficult questions the men

might have for them. Women discuss romance, sex, behavior,

communication, power, relationship and a myriad of other topics.

· As the ‘year’ ends, men are asked to answer questions like; What do

you stand for? What or who would you die for? What is integrity? What

is courage? What is love? What is a warrior? What kind of man do you

envision yourself becoming? How do you want to be remembered? Do

you create or do you destroy?

· Finally, a closing ceremony is held. Parents, partners, friends, family

and administrators are invited. A portion of the ceremony is private and

between and among the young men only. The closing portion is

witnessed, witnessed, by the community.

The initiate, the young man, makes a pledge to the universe … a covenant … to never

violate girls, women, the feminine within themselves and others, as well as not violate

Mother Earth. And then, the young man is asked to repeat that vow to the universe

once a week. In this way they will never forget their pledge and in fact … by keeping

the covenant alive in this manner … will remember to act on their pledge every day.

The young man is then welcomed into the community of men.

Imagine by year three how those who have been ‘initiated’ now mentor

and/or attend the closing ceremony that announces, ‘We are a culture of

non-violent men who respect the feminine within ourselves, others,

women and Mother Nature.’

Key terms in the Passage Process include; love, sacredness, agency,

responsibility, respect, theft, honesty, ethics, values, creating, self-

esteem, integrity, honor, truth, kindness, character, leadership, worth,

generativity, generosity, humility, self-care, feminine tones, masculine

tones, archetypes, sobriety, use vs abuse, tenacity and confidence.

I hope this gives you an idea of the Passage Process and its very

components. I hope you can begin to understand why and how this

process is necessary if we are to finally mitigate sexual violence on

campus.

Dare to be Benchmarked. Stop benchmarking other universities who

have not succeeded in mitigating sexual violence on their campus. This

process is vital to the health and welfare of millions of people.

As these young people graduate imagine the character they will bring to their

place of business, their marriage, their community. Men Acting Like Men

will have a new understanding, new meaning. It will take three years to

change the current campus culture, but all of this is worth the lives of

millions.

The 16 – 27 Best Practices in Higher Education for Mitigating Sexual

Violence on College Campuses.

- Implement multi-session training that includes peer-led discussions,

role-playing, and guest speakers on the topic of sexual assault and

rape.

- Teach clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent as active

communication rather than just rules to memorize. Explicitly

address how alcohol and drug impairment impact the ability to

consent.

- Address attitudes that excuse harassment, objectification, or

coercion, involving student leaders, athletic teams, Greek life, and

social organizations as positive messengers.

- Implement evidence-based programs to train students, faculty, and

staff to recognize concerning situations.

- Train bystanders to safely intervene without putting themselves in

danger.

- Audit and renovate campus “hot spots”- Improve lighting, increase visibility, and place clear safety and

resource information across

campus.

- Combine targeted alcohol management policies with campus-wide

prevention strategies, as high-risk drinking environments strongly

correlate with increased vulnerability.

- Partner with campus groups—such as athletic departments,

theater, student government, and Greek organizations—to model

egalitarian behavior and shift community standards.

- Establish transparent, trauma-informed policies with multiple,

confidential reporting options that make survivor resources easy to

find.

- Ensure institutional accountability by fairly tracking, investigating,

and disciplining perpetrators over time.

- Conduct anonymous campus climate surveys to track how safe

students feel, measure assault prevalence, and evaluate whether

institutional changes build trust and increase reporting.

- Require training for all employees to recognize, handle, and report

sexual misconduct.

- Conduct thorough background checks that explicitly excludeindividuals with a history of violent behavior.

- Establish transparent, accessible, and straightforward procedures

for reporting incidents.

- Create programs, leadership roles, and spaces that build agency

and safety for female students.

- Support and run student-led or institutional campaigns to educate

the campus community.

- Implement evidence-based educational and intervention programs

across campus

- Provide comprehensive, clear education defining enthusiastic and

ongoing consent.

- Offer academic credit for courses focused on gender equality and

healthy relationships.

- Provide reliable transportation or walking escorts across campus

grounds, especially at night.

- Taking reports seriously: Treat all survivor disclosures with

empathy, credibility, and zero victim-blaming.

- Accountability for perpetrators: Hold offenders accountable

through fair disciplinary processes regardless of their athletic,social, or academic status.

- Utilize campus safety apps that allow quick alerts, GPS tracking,

and emergency contacts.

- Offer accessible, professional counseling services dedicated to

trauma-informed care.

- Survivor support groups: Facilitate safe, peer-led or clinician-led

support groups for healing and community.

- Coordinate cross-departmental efforts (security, health, student

affairs, and administration) to ensure a unified approach to campus

safety.

I spent two full semesters living with the SAE Fraternity on the Bucknell

University Campus where I employed the Passage Process. What

follows are some of the comments left by members of the fraternity

and their parents. It is important to note there were no sexual violence

cases, a significant decrease in alcohol and drug use, only one student

who was written up by campus security, GPA for the house increased by

½ grade point, the self-esteem of every young man improved

significantly and young women on campus reported that the SAE was

the safest place on campus.

I have included a few comments from the fraternity members and

their parents below.

Fraternity Members CommentsLife changing, seriously life changing. I hope to never forget what I

have learned. I don’t think this evaluation can accurately show what

has gone on in this house. How we have changed and what an

incredible year it has been. We struggled along the way but

individuals stepped up and we came together as brothers and

housemates to create an incredible living environment. The best

part of our house is how different it is than every other residence

hall and fraternity house. We have a mutual respect and code

among ourselves. Unlike Public Safety or the Police out to catch

people drinking or breaking rules we governed ourselves. This

allowed us to have very few disciplinary problems in the house and

live in a civil manner with each other. I loved this year and I hope

the faculty and everyone else who loves to stereotype fraternities

sees how incredible this house is and how incredible the people are

who live here. I would do anything for these guys and especially for

Dr. Tom. We felt the school turned its back on us. We were the lost

boys. Dr. Tom saved us and showed us how to save ourselves.

All in all, Dr. Tom is now like a second father to me. The amount of

respect I have for the man is exponential.

Before: I smoked pot more than 5 times a day, averaged 60 drinks

per week, frequently used other drugs and was depressed. After; I

have not smoked pot or used any other drugs in 40 days, average

less than 20 drinks per week, am no longer depressed and am the

happiest I have ever been. I have my key and wake up with

determination and go to sleep with satisfaction. Every experience I

have with Dr. Tom is impactful, long lasting and highly valued.

Because of that I now have far more respect for myself.

Although living in this house in these conditions was clearly not the

ideal situation for us I think we would all agree that it has turned

out better than we could have hoped. To Dr. Tom, thank you for

everything you have given us. Being a positive influence selflessly

devoting your time and understanding and believing in us.Dr. Tom helped me through some hard times, encouraged me to

get help and was nothing but a positive influence.

Dr. Tom really helped me with my anxiety issues and gave me many

ways to control it.

Dr. Tom is a great man and did everything he could to help us. He

never forced rules upon us that were ridiculous or to the extreme.

He didn’t live with an iron fist and I believe that is why he had such

success. We all love Dr. Tom and his dedication to us.

This has been the most important year in my life. Dr. Tom has been

instrumental in a personal transformation I have undergone in the

past year.

It is truly sad to see Dr. Tom leave. He has done wonders for this

special group that moved into this house last fall. I can honestly

say we are the luckiest guys on campus this year to have such an

honorable and well-spoken man to lead us into the next chapter of

our lives. All I can say is thank you for a wonderful year.

I have far more respect for myself and my day-to-day life revolves

around doing good things for my future. What we learned in

Passage is so deep and complex I cannot express in words or in a

sentence. Everything that we learned in Passage does tie into life

experience.

Everyone has changed to be more responsible and to care about

others. A new sense of responsibility. There was virtually no pot

smoking in the house second semester. Dr. Tom used to stick up

for us at the beginning of the year by saying,

“I know you are all

great young men, and we can have the best house on campus.

” I

am so happy that we proved to ourselves and the school that we

are some of the best people at this school and can escape the SAE

stereotype.

I am more knowledgeable and in touch with my emotions. I know

what I can and cannot change. Dealing with acceptance of my past

has led to bettering me in the present.The discussion on non-stealing (not physically) was so important

for me. How we harm others by stealing their sense of safety, self-

respect and even their decency.

Parent Comments

Dear Tom ...You have a gift. Your authentic way you reached out to

these boys enabled them to start to turn themselves around I am

amazed the school didn’t do whatever it took to keep you? It

shows me Bucknell does not have a very deep commitment to

developing the whole person, that they think students should be

there only for academics.

Dr. Balistrieri, it is a sad day when a liberal arts college turns it

back to developing the whole person. The university doesn’t

deserve you but the boys coming up do and that is the tragedy.

Dear Dr. Balistrieri Thank you for all you did with Jon, Thank you

for creating a place where he could get out issues and start to

piece his life back together. I am sure I don’t know 95% of it.

Tom: I have not had the opportunity to meet you over the past

year, but I wanted to let you know that my husband and I

appreciate all the efforts that you extended toward our son Evan. I

know that you and this experience have made a lasting impression

on him. We have always tried to impart to him the importance of

character, integrity and doing what is right. We are very glad that

Evan spent this time on this very worthwhile experience of living in

the house and all that that entailed. My husband and I wish you

continued success in your career.Wow !! You and your wife should be so thrilled with the

unbelievable influence you have had on these boys, I know you

meant the world to Peter especially and a difficult time in their

lives. Peter is away this semester, and I am so thrilled he is having

such a great time in South Africa but very sad he didn’t have the

opportunity to spend the last couple months with you. He lives his

key and I know will always hold an important part of his growth to

you. I hope we will have the opportunity to see you again. Love to

you. Suzan, Erik. And Ben

Thank you Tom The impact you’ve had on these young men, and

their residential program is immeasurable. The attitude and actions

of the young men of St. George Street have changed dramatically

and it is all due to you. The conversations I’ve had this year with

individuals like Wagner, Alden, French, Sandy, Jon, and Ryan. And

yes, even Bo is much different than it has been in the past. All

positive. We will miss your impact and all you’ve done greatly.

Renee Wilde

I will never stop trying to get ONE UNIVERSITY to take a scientific risk, and make the effort towards mitigating sexual violence on their campus. Just one university that really wants to stop this American horror. One university that Dares to be Benchmarked!!

Please help me to get this message out to universities and colleges. Together we CAN save thousands of lives from becoming plagued by the wounds of sexual violence. Such an effort will eventually impact pedophilia, sexual harassment in professional settings and even the attack on Mother Earth and the Climate. Rape of the feminine is much larger than we currently understand.

by Genesis

I am sending the following to the President of Wesleyan University, President Roth.

A president who seems to sincerely intend to erase sexual violence on his campus.

A Regrettable Interaction. Not Assault or Rape

Mitigating Sexual Violence on College Campuses. By, T.J. Balistrieri, Ed.D.

“It was a regrettable interaction. Not assault or rape” is the gist of the statement I’ve heard repeatedly from mislead men after being accused of sexual violence (sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape). That is not the way survivors of sexual violence experience it.

There are 5,626 universities and colleges in the USA

8.7 million women attend universities and colleges

6.5 million males attend universities and colleges

Somewhere between 1-3 (2,900,000) and 1-5 (1,740,000) women will experience sexual violence during their four-year college experience, (RAINN, 2026) (CDC, 2026). Sexual Assault and rape are under-reported; so, this number is low.

“Oh, that is bullshit. Women love sex as much as men. Women just feel guilty

and then yell ‘rape’ when it was just a regrettable drunken hook-up.”

1,740,000 to 2,900,000

What kind of a culture allows that many women to be victims of violence, and does little about it? Nothing has changed since I was an RA back at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh in 1970. In 1970 I was taught that 1-4 women will experience sexual violence during their four year university experience.

“Oh, don’t be so histrionic.

Universities have spent decades working to mitigate this problem.

There is a set of Best Practices that universities and colleges

refer to in their effort to face this problem.”

Research and campus climate data show that the prevalence of sexual violence against female college students has remained persistently high over decades, with approximately 1 in 5 (20%) to 1 in 4 (25%) of undergraduate women experiencing sexual assault or rape during their time in college, (RAINN, 2026) (National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 2026).

At the end of this post, you will find a bulleted list of the 16 to 27 Best Practices that college administrators and health practitioners have turned to, for decades, in the hope of mitigating sexual violence on their campus. Colleges and universities bench mark each other asking the same decades old question, “Which best practices do ‘you’ use to mitigate sexual violence on your campus?”

No university or college in the United States has “solved” the problem of sexual violence, (RAINN,2026). In fact, university bureaucracies discourage complaints, obstruct accountability and protect institutional reputations, (Aljazeera, 2025).

A scientifically researched and implemented process that I developed, the Passage Process, does work.

It is understandable that readers are not willing to browse a long treatise. That said, I will present the Passage Process here in bulleted form, utilizing a building block approach to help you, the reader, conceptualize the process. I have been researching, developing and piloting this process for 30 years. I began the work in 1992 at the University of MN, Morris. Then continued to develop and pilot the process at WPI. And finally, successfully implemented the process at Bucknell University. I will present that data in an attachment.

Passage: Concepts, Precepts and Process

(1992-2026)

T.J Balistrieri, Ed.D.

Isn’t it a pity?

Isn’t it a shame?

How we break each other’s hearts

And cause each other pain

How we take each other’s love

Without thinking anymore

Forgetting to give back

Isn’t it a pity?

- George Harrison

Being a man I can only speak of men. I do not know a woman’s experience. There is no blame or blaming of others intended in what I intend to share. My experience was the same as 95% of boys and young men in our culture. You, me, we cannot know things that we do not know. We all need mentors, guides, and elders to bring the unknown

into our consciousness. Integrity, character, virtue and wisdom is borne or generated from teacher-student relationships, mentoring, healthy peer relationships, stories, places, guidance, experience and, yes, monitored mistakes. We become. The process of becoming gained only or mostly from self-taught trial and error and experimentation is tenuous at best. Dangerous to self and others. Without guidance boys become consciously or unconsciously … purposefully or accidently … violent to themselves, other genders, animals, inanimate things and nature.

A young boy seeking direction will look around to his left and to his right—

looking exclusively to his immediate peers…other boys… for wisdom and find none,

because they are just as lost and unguided as he.

-Robert Bly

· Too often student behavior is based on impulsive needs rather than thoughtful, intentional deliberation. A basic need of young people is, to be accepted and not rejected. Imagine 100’s or 1000’s of young people converging at a university. All being led to believe they are adults when they are becoming adults looking to be accepted, to be seen. All these young people, thrown into the same unknown situation and place looking side-to-side for wisdom is a veritable petri dish for violence to self and others. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs explains it all quite clearly.

Imagine that most students come to campus from great homes, great situations and have reached a level of self-esteem- as stated by Maslow - where they feel safe, loved and a sense of belonging. They have a new, though fragile, sense of confidence and self-efficacy. But there is a problem. It is a fact that when humans enter a previously unknown situation or place, they drop on Maslow to feeling unsafe and insecure. The subsequent feelings are anxiety and fear.

· There are six responses. Fight, Flight, Submission, Posturing, Attending and Befriending.

The conscious or unconscious goal is to feel safe again. To belong again. To be accepted again. And there it is, to be accepted again. That is where the problems related to campus life begin. The problems of campus life center around a set of myths.

‘Boys will be boys’

‘Boys need to sew their wild oats’

‘Everybody tries alcohol and drugs in college’

‘Everybody cheats’

‘It is normal to get drunk’

‘Girls want it as bad as the boys’

“No means yes”

College behaviors based on just the ‘need’ to be accepted and not rejected are usually unsuccessful and even dangerous. Students unconsciously or consciously become vulnerable to the myths mentioned above.

Whereas deliberate, intentional behaviors and decisions are based on one’s core values social ‘neediness’ is based on pain reduction. Very few people know the definition of the word value and even fewer have ever taken the time to contemplate and articulate their values.

· A value is defined as, 1) something you have thought about, 2) something you believe, 3) something you feel strongly about, 4) something you communicate to others, 5) something you have chosen freely, and 6) something you act on skillfully and repeatedly over time.

A mature, aware, individuated person must be able to list 100-150 core values that guide their decisions and behaviors. Core values, as per the definition above, form the foundation of one’s character. If a person cannot articulate their values, if they haven’t thought through WHO they are then … when they drop back on Maslow from self-esteem to feeling unsafe and insecure … they tend to easily fall prey to peer pressure or manipulative behaviors relative to being accepted and not rejected. Bring alcohol into the picture, hormones, desire and ‘the need to please’ … there lay the recipe for sexual abuse, assault and rape.

· For decades now university administrators wrongly believe that programs and posters on sexual assault, rape and alcohol abuse work. They do not. Programs last 45 to 60 minutes. It is possible to increase a student’s awareness in such a program, but it is virtually impossible to change a student’s values and behaviors. Stand-alone programs are not effectivein changing behavior.

· The Transtheoretical Model (TTM)- The Stages of Change Model- developed by Prochaska and DiClemente inform us that change, including building or re-thinking one’s values, is a gradual, cyclical, and longitudinal process. The stages of change are, 1) pre-contemplation, 2) contemplation, 3) preparing to change, 4) change, and 5) maintenance. People change over time not after a program.

· There are three states of being that are considered during this process; Willingness, Ability and Confidence; 1) A student examines their desire, their willingness, to change and grow. Their desire to be an independent yet inter-connected person of character and integrity. Then and only then is the second state examined; 2) The ability to change and grow. Skill building is involved -such as but not limited to - stress management, learning skills, relational skills, communication skills, study skills, leadership skills, decision making, honesty, ethics, integrity, confidence, decision making, and judgment. And finally, confidence is examined, discussed and even practiced.

Simply telling someone to do something or not to do something does not work and does not elicit

Compliance or change. Having famous or popular people telling their stories does not work. Threats

And posters and rules do not work. The key is to teach boys and young men HOW to be men of

character, humility, honor, kindness, virtue and integrity.

· Teaching and mentoring all these skills over time creates high self-esteem. Self-esteem has four components; 1) holistically examining, appreciating and loving oneself, 2) knowing that one is loved unconditionally by at least one other person, 3) feeling and knowing that oneself is worthy, and 4) doing things of worth for others part of the equation.

Students are invited to, asked to, ‘Never speak poorly of themselves ever again.’ How can we ask students to think highly of others if they cannot think highly of themselves? It is an amazing experience when asking people to never speak poorly of themselves. They can’t or won’t do it. Somehow, in our culture we have learned that self-deprecation is ok. It is not. It is one of the most destructive creators of violence that exists in our culture. This issue, this request, takes months to teach and to be accepted.

· A vital aspect of developing character is introducing the concept of ‘the sacred’. People wrongly believe that the ‘the sacred’ only refers to spiritual or religious contexts. I have found the introduction of this concept is one of the MOST belief and behavior changing aspects of Passage. Sacred is defined as, 1) worthy of kindness, 2) worthy of non-violence, 3) worthy of respect, 4) worthy of awe, 5) worthy of the gifts of life, 6) worthy of safety, and 7) worthy of love.

If a person does not see themselves as sacred, how can we ever expect them to

treat others as sacred? It takes time to build or re-build self-esteem and to seed the concept of the

sacred Students get it … ‘Why would I get drunk, use drugs, harm myself, harm others, destroy my

university (the house or dorm) or harm nature if I now understand and know I am sacred and all

things are sacred?

· Teaching young men, the four stages of male development and the concept of the feminine is vital to the mitigation of sexual violence. I won’t take the time and space to explain the entirety of the theory but very basically the four stages are; 1) In the first stage of male development men are taught to see women as either sluts or goddesses. College men want to marry a goddess but hope there are a lot of sluts around, (men laugh, knowingly, when I present this). There are exercises the men complete so that they can see for themselves this is true, (for example they are asked to create a list of the romantic and positive words and phrases we have for intercourse. And then, to create a list of all the violent carpentry type words and phrases we have for intercourse. This simple exercise moves many men from ‘contemplation to preparing to change’ on the TTM.

· The concept of feminine tones is introduced at this time in the process. Feminine tones are defined and men are asked to compare feminine and masculine tones in terms of words, behaviors, interests and are asked to delineate their own feminine and masculine tones. Only once this exercise is fully completed do we introduce the second stage of male development; 2) a man realizes and accepts their own feminine tones and thus can see women as women, not toys or sluts or things to be had. 3) as the man continues to develop and believes that all things are sacred, he begins to see a woman as a person. This is a huge development in the mitigation of sexual violence. 4) The fourth stage is when a man sees a woman as himself. This is a highly existential understanding … but I have witnessed male students grasping this understanding. This is the full circle of wisdom, character, virtue and honor.

· Another powerful discussion that past participants have noted as life changing is the introduction of the Yamas. Each Yama has layers of understanding. The Yamas are non-violence, non-hoarding, non-stealing, non-lying, and non-grasping. For example; in the past young men are deeply moved when they realize the Yama of non-stealing can refer to not stealing the happiness of a woman … or her sense of trust … or her love of intimacy if they steal that from her in the act of drunken or sober sexual violence. And then they realize, ‘Not only would I steal her joy and sense of self, but I steal and destroy mine in the process.’

· The positive and negative male archetypes are introduced, discussed and men are asked to contemplate and write about the archetypes they use and those they need to learn. The four basic Jungian archetypes of Monarch, Warrior, Magician and Lover are presented along with their negative aspects. This language becomes part of the jargon used throughout the remainder of the year.

· During this entire process men are requested to keep a diary that can serve as an autobiography and serves as a marker, a record of, their change. I have had men from 30 years ago call and tell me they re-read their autobiography on a regular basis.

· The Karpman Model of communication and engagement is taught, and the young men are asked to consider the model in their lives. Persecutor. Rescuer. Victim. This model is another eye-opener for the young men.

· Topics that men rarely discuss but ache to discuss are presented; masturbation, ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, porn, porn addiction, premature ejaculation, low libido, anatomy of men and women, gay sex, body image, relationship pressures, alcohol use and abuse, sexual violence, bystander training, dating mores and taboos. These topics are presented weekly which gives men time to contemplate and apply these to their own lives. Men are invited to speak to their mentor, their parents, their partners about any or all of these topics.

· During this time men create a tempering project. This has nothing to do with, ‘losing their temper anger wise’ but has to do with their being tempered during this entire year. As a piece of iron is tempered by earth, air, water and fire to become a beautiful, flexible, sharp tool … these men are tempered by mentors, time, experiences, tears, fear, joy, knowledge and wisdom. What they create during the entire process mirrors their own creation as a man. (Past participants have created paintings, books of poetry, music, a chair, an actual sword, a novel … the creativity is inspiring.) The completed tempering project is shared, explained to the group and is part of their closing ceremony.

· During this time, which is a full two semesters, each young man finds a mentor. A mentor must be a male and can be a teacher, professor, relative, friend of the family or any older man who is willing to find time to discuss life with the student.

· During this time, in the second semester, women are introduced into the process. Women are asked to answer the difficult questions the men might have for them. Women discuss romance, sex, behavior, communication, power, relationship and a myriad of other topics.

· As the ‘year’ ends, men are asked to answer questions like; What do you stand for? What or who would you die for? What is integrity? What is courage? What is love? What is a warrior? What kind of man do you envision yourself becoming? How do you want to be remembered? Do you create or do you destroy?

· Finally, a closing ceremony is held. Parents, partners, friends, family and administrators are invited. A portion of the ceremony is private and between and among the young men only. The closing portion is witnessed, witnessed, by the community. The initiate, the young man, makes a pledge to the universe … a covenant … to never violate girls, women, the feminine within themselves and others, as well as not violate Mother Earth. And then, the young man is asked to repeat that vow to the universe once a week. In this way they will never forget their pledge and in fact … by keeping the covenant alive in this manner … will remember to act on their pledge every day.

The young man is then welcomed into the community of men.

There are many ways to implement this process within a university. Imagine that every first year male is required to take this two semester course. These first year students will be facing a difficult situation in that they are being asked to, ‘act differently.’ Three classes above them have not been educated.

In their sophomore year they begin to serve as guides or sounding boards for the first year class. These young men become captains of their athletic teams or officers in their fraternities. They begin to influence change through their behavior. Now, only two classes are above them.

By their junior year the campus culture begins to change. This is when the statistics of violence to self and others begins to significantly decrease. The young men now hold key positions throughout the university and their voice becomes the voice of the male population. And, in their third year they begin to serve as mentors and/or attend the closing ceremony of underclassmen. These young men announce, “We are a culture of non-violent men who respect the feminine within ourselves, others, women and Mother Nature.”

As seniors there is no memory of the classes that did not participate in the Passage Process. Seniors are very busy preparing to graduate but hopefully some will continue to mentor or somehow support the new students entering the campus culture. Statements of what a man is and what a man stands for are made by these men at new student orientation and other first year events.

Remember one of the foundational reasons for creating the Passage Process, “The driving force for students feeling anxious and fearful is the need to be accepted and not rejected. Now the males they will turn to for acceptance are balanced men of character, integrity, kindness, courage and generosity. The new campus culture that does not promote violence to self and others will have become set when all four classes of men have experienced or are experiencing the Passage Process.

Key terms in the Passage Process include; love, sacredness, agency, responsibility, respect, theft, honesty, ethics, values, creating, self-esteem, integrity, honor, truth, kindness, character, leadership, worth, generativity, generosity, humility, self-care, feminine tones, masculine tones, archetypes, sobriety, use vs abuse, tenacity and confidence.

I hope this gives you an idea of the Passage Process and its very components. I hope you can begin to understand why and how this process is necessary if we are to finally mitigate sexual violence on campus.

Dare to be Benchmarked. Stop benchmarking other universities who have not succeeded in mitigating sexual violence on their campus. This process is vital to the health and welfare of millions of people. As these young people graduate imagine the character they will bring to their place of business, their marriage, their community. Men Acting Like Men will have a new understanding, new meaning. It will take three years to change the current campus culture, but all of this is worth the lives of millions.

The 16 – 27 Best Practices in Higher Education for Mitigating Sexual Violence on College Campuses.

- Implement multi-session training that includes peer-led discussions,

role-playing, and guest speakers on the topic of sexual assault and

rape.

- Teach clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent as active

communication rather than just rules to memorize. Explicitly

address how alcohol and drug impairment impact the ability to

consent.

- Address attitudes that excuse harassment, objectification, or

coercion, involving student leaders, athletic teams, Greek life, and

social organizations as positive messengers.

- Implement evidence-based programs to train students, faculty, and

staff to recognize concerning situations.

- Train bystanders to safely intervene without putting themselves in danger.

- Audit and renovate campus “hot spots”

- Improve lighting, increase visibility, and place clear safety and resource information across

campus.

- Combine targeted alcohol management policies with campus-wide

prevention strategies, as high-risk drinking environments strongly

correlate with increased vulnerability.

- Partner with campus groups—such as athletic departments,

theater, student government, and Greek organizations—to model

egalitarian behavior and shift community standards.

- Establish transparent, trauma-informed policies with multiple,

confidential reporting options that make survivor resources easy to

find.

- Ensure institutional accountability by fairly tracking, investigating,

and disciplining perpetrators over time.

- Conduct anonymous campus climate surveys to track how safe

students feel, measure assault prevalence, and evaluate whether

institutional changes build trust and increase reporting.

- Require training for all employees to recognize, handle, and report

sexual misconduct.

- Conduct thorough background checks that explicitly exclude

individuals with a history of violent behavior.

- Establish transparent, accessible, and straightforward procedures

for reporting incidents.

- Create programs, leadership roles, and spaces that build agency

and safety for female students.

- Support and run student-led or institutional campaigns to educate

the campus community.

- Implement evidence-based educational and intervention programs

across campus

- Provide comprehensive, clear education defining enthusiastic and

ongoing consent.

- Offer academic credit for courses focused on gender equality and

healthy relationships.

- Provide reliable transportation or walking escorts across campus

grounds, especially at night.

- Taking reports seriously: Treat all survivor disclosures with

empathy, credibility, and zero victim-blaming.

- Accountability for perpetrators: Hold offenders accountable

through fair disciplinary processes regardless of their athletic,

social, or academic status.

- Utilize campus safety apps that allow quick alerts, GPS tracking,

and emergency contacts.

- Offer accessible, professional counseling services dedicated to

trauma-informed care.

- Survivor support groups: Facilitate safe, peer-led or clinician-led

support groups for healing and community.

- Coordinate cross-departmental efforts (security, health, student

affairs, and administration) to ensure a unified approach to campus

safety.

I spent two full semesters living with the SAE Fraternity on the Bucknell University Campus where I employed the Passage Process. What follows are some of the comments left by members of the fraternity and their parents. It is important to note there were no sexual violence cases, a significant decrease in alcohol and drug use, only one student who was written up by campus security, GPA for the house increased by ½ grade point, the self-esteem of every young man improved significantly and young women on campus reported that the SAE was the safest place on campus.

I have included a few comments from the fraternity members and their parents below.

Fraternity Members Comments

• Life changing, seriously life changing. I hope to never forget what I have learned. I don’t think this evaluation can accurately show what has gone on in this house. How we have changed and what an incredible year it has been. We struggled along the way but individuals stepped up and we came together as brothers and housemates to create an incredible living environment. The best part of our house is how different it is than every other residence hall and fraternity house. We have a mutual respect and code among ourselves. Unlike Public Safety or the Police out to catch people drinking or breaking rules we governed ourselves. This allowed us to have very few disciplinary problems in the house and live in a civil manner with each other. I loved this year and I hope the faculty and everyone else who loves to stereotype fraternities sees how incredible this house is and how incredible the people are who live here. I would do anything for these guys and especially for Dr. Tom. We felt the school turned its back on us. We were the lost boys. Dr. Tom saved us and showed us how to save ourselves.

• All in all, Dr. Tom is now like a second father to me. The amount of respect I have for the man is exponential.

• Before: I smoked pot more than 5 times a day, averaged 60 drinks per week, frequently used other drugs and was depressed. After; I have not smoked pot or used any other drugs in 40 days, average less than 20 drinks per week, am no longer depressed and am the happiest I have ever been. I have my key and wake up with determination and go to sleep with satisfaction. Every experience I have with Dr. Tom is impactful, long lasting and highly valued. Because of that I now have far more respect for myself.

• Although living in this house in these conditions was clearly not the ideal situation for us I think we would all agree that it has turned out better than we could have hoped. To Dr. Tom, thank you for everything you have given us. Being a positive influence selflessly devoting your time and understanding and believing in us.

• Dr. Tom helped me through some hard times, encouraged me to get help and was nothing but a positive influence.

• Dr. Tom really helped me with my anxiety issues and gave me many ways to control it.

• Dr. Tom is a great man and did everything he could to help us. He never forced rules upon us that were ridiculous or to the extreme. He didn’t live with an iron fist and I believe that is why he had such success. We all love Dr. Tom and his dedication to us.

• This has been the most important year in my life. Dr. Tom has been instrumental in a personal transformation I have undergone in the past year.

• It is truly sad to see Dr. Tom leave. He has done wonders for this special group that moved into this house last fall. I can honestly say we are the luckiest guys on campus this year to have such an honorable and well-spoken man to lead us into the next chapter of our lives. All I can say is thank you for a wonderful year.

• I have far more respect for myself and my day-to-day life revolves around doing good things for my future. What we learned in Passage is so deep and complex I cannot express in words or in a sentence. Everything that we learned in Passage does tie into life experience.

• Everyone has changed to be more responsible and to care about others. A new sense of responsibility. There was virtually no pot smoking in the house second semester. Dr. Tom used to stick up for us at the beginning of the year by saying, “I know you are all great young men, and we can have the best house on campus.” I am so happy that we proved to ourselves and the school that we are some of the best people at this school and can escape the SAE stereotype.

• I am more knowledgeable and in touch with my emotions. I know what I can and cannot change. Dealing with acceptance of my past has led to bettering me in the present.

• The discussion on non-stealing (not physically) was so important for me. How we harm others by stealing their sense of safety, self-respect and even their decency.

Parent Comments

• Dear Tom ...You have a gift. Your authentic way you reached out to these boys enabled them to start to turn themselves around I am amazed the school didn’t do whatever it took to keep you? It shows me Bucknell does not have a very deep commitment to developing the whole person, that they think students should be there only for academics.

• Dr. Balistrieri, it is a sad day when a liberal arts college turns it back to developing the whole person. The university doesn’t deserve you but the boys coming up do and that is the tragedy.

• Dear Dr. Balistrieri Thank you for all you did with Jon, Thank you for creating a place where he could get out issues and start to piece his life back together. I am sure I don’t know 95% of it.

• Tom: I have not had the opportunity to meet you over the past year, but I wanted to let you know that my husband and I appreciate all the efforts that you extended toward our son Evan. I know that you and this experience have made a lasting impression on him. We have always tried to impart to him the importance of character, integrity and doing what is right. We are very glad that Evan spent this time on this very worthwhile experience of living in the house and all that that entailed. My husband and I wish you continued success in your career.

• Wow !! You and your wife should be so thrilled with the unbelievable influence you have had on these boys, I know you meant the world to Peter especially and a difficult time in their lives. Peter is away this semester, and I am so thrilled he is having such a great time in South Africa but very sad he didn’t have the opportunity to spend the last couple months with you. He lives his key and I know will always hold an important part of his growth to you. I hope we will have the opportunity to see you again. Love to you. Suzan, Erik. And Ben

• Thank you Tom The impact you’ve had on these young men, and their residential program is immeasurable. The attitude and actions of the young men of St. George Street have changed dramatically and it is all due to you. The conversations I’ve had this year with individuals like Wagner, Alden, French, Sandy, Jon, and Ryan. And yes, even Bo is much different than it has been in the past. All positive. We will miss your impact and all you’ve done greatly.

C.J. Kell

Isn’t it a pity?
Isn’t it a shame?
How we break each other’s hearts
And cause each other pain
How we take each other’s love
Without thinking anymore
Forgetting to give back
Isn’t it a pity?

- George Harrison

Being a man I can only speak of men. I do not know a woman’s experience. There is no blame or blaming of others intended in what I will share. My experience is the same as 95% of boys and young men in our culture.

You cannot know things that you do not know. (Reader, tell me about something that you don’t know exists. Tell me about ‘something’ you should do but you have no idea what that ‘something’ is. Be careful, this could drive you insane.) We all need mentors, guides, and elders to bring the unknown into our consciousness. Wisdom emanates from people, books, places, teachings, experience and, yes, mistakes. But wisdom gained only or mostly from mistakes is fragile at best.

At no point in my boyhood, adolescence, early or mid-manhood did anyone ever take the time to explain to me that I MUST examine my values, examine what I stand for, examine my principles, examine my virtues and morals and articulate the kind of man I wished to be. That process begins by having someone define the word values. (A value is something that you have thought about, chosen freely, believe in, feel strongly about, communicate to others in words and deeds and something you act on skillfully and receptively over time.)

Our values … our sense of self … our core identity is what blossoms into actualization, individuation, character, good judgement and agency. Without knowing our values we are rudderless, easy to manipulate, easy to influence and are a danger to ourselves and others. We find ourselves doing things we aren’t sure of, things that we later regret and become ashamed of or things that are harmful, hurtful and dangerous. Even violent… like alcohol abuse, drug abuse, addictions, obsessions, divorce … all the way to sexual misconduct.

We want to be accepted and not rejected. We want to be liked. We want to please and rescue. We think we know what we want …. until we’re sure we made a mistake.

In 1972 at the age of 21 I got married for the first time. I had no real idea as to why I was getting married. She was nice and she was pretty. But, I had no idea what love, commitment or even life was about. May silent prayer as I stood at the altar was, “Dear Lord, please get me out of this.” I wasn’t a bad kid. I was a naive and stupid kid easily influenced because I had no idea of who I was or who I wanted to be. The ensuing divorce hurt many people and left suppurating wounds that have never healed. Naive people are the most dangerous people.

On that wedding day, just like on my confirmation day, I made promises, vows and commitments that I knew nothing about. My promises were vacuous …. not because I was lying, per se. They were empty because I had no idea what I was getting into. I was actually unwilling and unable to be a good husband. Because I had no values concerning relationship, love and marriage.

In the Lakota tradition one of the most important virtues a person of character lives is Wówačhiŋtȟaŋka, reliability (couched in fortitude). Reliability and fortitude represents the inner strength and determination required to remain committed to a purpose or promise despite external difficulties. But you must understand this, and I finally learned this at age 40 from my Lakota elders; ‘You cannot even approach being a man of fortitude and reliability if you do not completely understand what it is you are promising to be committed to and promising to uphold.’

By age forty my second marriage was ending. I got married not because I valued the institution, the relationship or probably even the person. I got married because I feared being alone and figured it was something I should do. She was pretty and she was nice. We had fun, at first. Isn’t marriage about fun?

I learned from the Lakota people that a virtuous man is a man of honor, Wóyuonihaŋ. Such a man is honest, reliable, respectful and trustworthy. I wasn’t honest; I pretended to be happy and to be in love. I wasn’t respectful; she deserved to be loved not lied to out of a sense of guilt. And, eventually I wasn’t trustworthy. Trying to figure out a way to get away. I was a coward, not a man of integrity and courage.

Think about that. Age 40 and I still didn’t know how to be authentic or how to be in relationship. I was a good person and a kind man by any standard. I had a doctorate. I was smart. Funny. Generous. But when it came to women and the feminine I was a boy in a man suit.

It wasn’t until I sat by a fire every night on the reservation with other men, other men all trying to be better men, that I learned what being a man truly was, is. It wasn’t until I was taught and practiced the seven Lakota virtues, values, that I began to become a man.

Imagine the wake of sadness and sorrow that trailed behind me. Wounded women. Sad, angry and embarrassed family. Disappointed friends. Guilt. Shame. Violence.

All because as a boy I was never guided to think seriously about life; about thoughts, feelings and behaviors. I never was taught to consider the inter-connected consequences of my actions… both good and bad … and the impact they would have on others. I was selfish and narcissistic without even knowing it.

I’m not blaming anyone. They, the men in my life, couldn’t teach or know how to teach or even what to teach … they couldn’t know what they didn’t know.

But the Lakota people, and other Nations, taught me what is important for young men to know. It may be too late for me personally. But it is my responsibility to teach boys and young men what I learned … and what I KNOW. And one thing I KNOW is that these young boys and men will be less violent to themselves, to women, to others, to animals, to things and to nature.

We can and must teach boys and young men to understand that all things are sacred; worthy of awe, non-violence, love, kindness, obeisance, safety and the joy of life. We must teach the seven Lakota virtues, and the Hindu yamas, and the Karpman Model and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and we must help young men find balance, love of self and understand their relationship to all things.

It is a process. Not an event. Not a program. Let’s all commit to that … to begin teaching boys how to become balanced men of character, virtue, kindness and integrity. If we do that sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape will not be the problem it is now.

Mitakuye Oyasin

Where did Cornell go? Old news I guess. Just a woman getting assaulted and raped.

A few weeks ago I created a post concerning college and university substance abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. In the post I explained how things are getting worse on college campuses. In the post I explained that the current 16-26 ‘Best Practices’ do NOT mitigate sexual abuse, sexual assault, nor rape. In the post I explained that after 45 years of scholarship, research, and implementation I scientifically proved that the process I developed (Passage) significantly mitigates substance abuse, campus structural destruction, sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Simultaneously motivating young men to study more and more wisely, thus increasing their GPA by 1/2 point … significantly improving their self-esteem and significantly increasing their chance of graduating.

Then, in the Post, I laid out the approach in some detail; 1) teach young men to deeply and holistically know themselves, 2) teach young men to respect themselves and treat themselves in a sacred manner, 3) teach young men to respect the feminine within themselves, 4) teach young men to project that self-respect onto women and all other people, animals and things, and 5) teach young men to be people of character, integrity, humility, generosity, courage, fortitude and kindness.

The process takes two full semesters to complete. The process involves talking, group work, learning new skills, practicing new skills, speaking with family, working with a mentor, creating a tempering project and writing an auto-biography.

Not only did I post on Substack, I sent the post to nearly 200 friends, relatives, fellow professionals, extended family and even a few universities. I asked women in particular to respond … to read the Substack and comment and/or repost and/or send the post to local universities and/or other friends and family. I asked for help in getting universities to use Passage and ‘save the lives’ of thousands of men and women.

Women need to fight for this process to be implemented because men, especially now in this sexist violent manosphere, will only fight for what they believe to be their god given college right, “To drink, to party, and to sew their wild oats”.

• One woman commented on the post

• One man commented on the post

• One idiot made some inane comment that made no sense thus revealing their ignorance and inability to read.

• One professorial peer of mine sent the post to his step-daughter who may be contacting me.

• The colleges never responded

2.4 to 2.8 MILLION

college women will be sexually abused, sexually assaulted and/or raped in 2026-2027

Old college boy chants ring across the nation …

‘No means yes and yes means anal’

‘Your body. My choice.

‘Get back into the kitchen’

‘Women are property’

The “Y-O-U-N-G” Chant (look it up, pedophilia)

and that age old rugby song, ‘I wish all the ladies …’

I wish that all the ladies were holes in the road

And I were a dump truck / cement truck

I’d fill ‘em with me load

I wish that all the ladies were bells in a tower

And I were the bellboy

I’d ring ‘em / bang ‘em every hour

I wish that all the ladies were bricks in a pile

And I’d be the mason

And lay them all in style

I wish that all the ladies were free-roaming deer

And I was a hunter

I’d jab ‘em with me spear

“Tom, Dr. B. lighten up man.

Boys will be boys.

This song has been around for decades.

It is tradition”

Sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape

have been around for decades.

It is tradition.

Here is what I have finally, finally, come to; No one REALLY cares. Neither men nor women REALLY care. The proofs; 1) the same ‘best practices’ referred to in the 1960’s are the same practices referred to in 2026, 2) the same and now worsening statistics since the 1960’s, 3) that no university has a strategic goal of eliminating sexual assault and rape at their campus, 4) colleges don’t want to take the time to hear what I have to say, and 5) that the same chants, songs and the same fraternity inside jokes are alive and well.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon

(Sexual Assault Expected)

So, heh, all you parents out there whose daughter is attending college next year. Look at the bright side, your daughter has a 2/3rds chance of not being raped or sexually assaulted while attending school! Hoo rah rah rah rah !

Notes from my last post that 23 people viewed …

There are 5,626 universities in the USA

8.7 million women attend universities

6.5 million males attend universities

2.78 million women are sexually assaulted and/raped at these universities

Sexual Assault and rape is under-reported so this number is actually low

“Oh that is bullshit. Women love sex as much as men. Women just feel guilty and then yell ‘rape’ when it actually was just a regrettable drunken hook-up.”

2.78 Million

A bulleted list of the ‘26 Best Practices for mitigating sexual assault and rape on college and university campuses’ appears at end of this post. The Best Practices have not changed since 1969. What has changed is that even a higher percentage of women are being raped and sexually assaulted.

A scientifically proven approach does work. It is called The Passage Process

It is understandable that readers are not willing to browse a long treatise. That said, The Passage Process will be presented in bullet form. A building block style is being utilized.

The Passage Process in Bulleted Form

• Too often student behavior is based on impulsive needs rather than thoughtful, intentional deliberation. A basic need of young people is, to be accepted and not rejected.

  Imagine 100’s or 1000’s of young people converging at a university. All being led to believe they are adults when actually they are becoming adults. Yet, most looking to be accepted, to be seen. All these young people, thrown into the same unknown situation and place looking side-to-side for wisdom. It is a veritable petri dish for something rally bad to happen.

• We need to take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for a second. Let’s suggest that all the students come to campus from great homes, great situations and all have reached the level, as stated by Maslow, where their behaviors are motivated by the need to build self-esteem and become even more confident, successful and complete (the green level).

• But there is a problem. It is a fact that when humans enter a previously unknown situation they drop on Maslow to feeling unsafe and insecure (the orange level). The ensuing feelings are anxiety and fear.

• When humans feel unsafe or insecure they are motivated to become safe and secure, once again. Anxiety and fear are not enjoyable feelings.

• Students turn to six possible behaviors in their effort to feel better. Fight, Flight, Submit, Posture (pretend to be ok or even confident), Attend and /or Befriend.

• Ultimately, they look around and try to figure out how to be accepted and not rejected. Behaviors based on that premise are not thoughtful and intentional behaviors but are impulsive need based behaviors that are probably unsuccessful and dangerous.

• Sober, deliberate, intentional behaviors and decisions are based on one’s core values.

• A value is defined as, 1) something you have thought about, 2) something you believe, 3) something you feel strongly about, 4) something you communicate to others, 5) something you have chosen freely, and 6) something you act on skillfully and repeatedly over time.

• A mature, aware, individuated person is able to list 100-150 core values that guide their decisions and behaviors.

• Core values, as per the definition above, form the foundation of one’s character.

• Return to my first bullet point. If a person cannot articulate their values, if they haven’t thought through WHO they are then … when they fall back to orange in a time of chaos…they tend to easily fall prey to peer pressure.

• The social peer pressure of every college involves pre-gaming, drinking, drugging, sewing one’s wild oats and acting like everyone around ‘you’ so that you will be accepted and not rejected.

• For decades now administrators wrongly believe that PROGRAMS on sexual assault, rape and alcohol abuse work. They do not.

• Programs last 45 to 60 minutes. It is possible to increase one’s awareness in such a program but it is virtually impossible to change one’s behavior.

• The most basic understanding of CHANGE is that it is a longitudinal five step process.

• People change over time.

• Conscious or unconscious values, which are the foundation of behavior, take time to change. Thus, the five stage. process.

• The five stage process, (Prochaska) is 1) pre-contemplation (you can’t know what you don’t know) 2) contemplation (awareness or new information), 3) preparing to change (changing one’s values and behaviors is along complicated process), 4) change, and 5) maintenance (practicing and thus reinforcing the new values and behaviors)

• Processes work and programs do not.

• Three words; Willingness, Ability and Confidence are explored, defined, and practiced.

• Simply telling someone to do something or not to do something does not work and does not elicit compliance or change. Threats and rules do not work. What does work is revealing and examining values and then learning new behaviors. This takes time. This is a longitudinal process.

• High self-esteem is part of the equation. There are four components of high self-esteem, 1) a person must know they are loved unconditionally by at least one other person, 2) a person must love themself physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, 3) a person must know they are worthwhile, and 4) a person must do things of worth for others.

• Far too many young people do not measure up to this definition of self-esteem and thus are prone to acting on needs not values. Remember, the need to be accepted and not be rejected has a tendency to lead to dangerous behaviors.

• If a person does not love themself or treat themself as sacred they will not be able to authentically treat others as sacred.

• Sacred is defined as, 1) worthy of kindness, 2) worthy of non-violence, 3) worthy of respect, 4) worthy of awe, 5) worthy of the gifts of life, 6) worthy of safety, 7) worthy of love.

• If a person of low self-esteem does not see themselves as sacred … then how can we expect them to treat others as sacred? It takes time to teach people how to find high self-esteem and how to believe they are sacred. It is a process.

• There is a direct correlation between low self-esteem and violence to self, others, property and nature.

• An important tangent is this, in our culture men (and women) are taught that women are submissive toys (sluts and goddesses). You don’t believe me. Try this; make a list of all the non-violent, romantic and loving language we utilize relative to intercourse or sex. My guess is you came up with about four answers. Now, make a list of all the violent, abusive, often carpentry based language. My guess is you have come up with between 30 and 60 terms. That is just one of the many awareness tools used in the Passage Process to change a students thoughts and behaviors (stage 1 and 2 on Prochaska’s Model for change) Moving from pre-contemplation to contemplation. This takes time. This takes process.

• The Passage Process continues to help young people contemplate who they are and who they want to become. We ask them questions like; 1) What do you stand for?, 2) What is your Creed, 3) Who do you emulate and why? 4) What are the societal taboos of a culture and what are the taboos you will never cross?, 5) Write about morals and then list the morals that guide your behavior, 6) In life do you see yourself as a creator or a destroyer? 7) On a scale from 1-7 how violent are you?, 8) How do you view the other gender(s)?, 9) What is the holistic vision you have of yourself five years from now (physical, emotional, cognitive, spiritual), 10) What is something greater than yourself that you intentionally honor?, 11), Who are the five most important of the other gender(s) you love and would never harm? 12) Ask ten friends and family to tell you what they think you value, 13) How do you want to be remembered? This is a long time consuming process of change.

• Young men, especially, need to be tempered. This is not a discussion about becoming angry. Being tempered, or not losing one’s temper, means remembering to act like the person you want to be, the person you uncovered and discovered in the course of the Passage Process. Tempering is an extended process of discovery, change, learning new skills and behaviors, and maintaining the change.

• Key terms in the Passage Process include; Love. Sacredness. Agency. Stealing. Lying. Ethics. Values. Creating. Self-esteem. Developmental Stages. Integrity. Honor. Truth. Character. Leadership. Kindness. Feminine tones. Masculine tones. Generosity. Self-care. Humility. Tenacity. Courage.

Building men of character and integrity who eventually say, “I am not going to harm myself or others because that has nothing to do with being a man of character,” takes time. I can prove that over an extended period of time, about one year, we can develop non-violent men of character and integrity that are willing AND ABLE to create and not destroy

There is more but hopefully you are beginning to understand what must be done and can be done if we are to protect women and men from violence.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

PLEASE… help me get out the word. This process can be taught and utilized on every college campus. It takes three years to change the culture of a campus. Right now all colleges have accepted violence to self and others as the status quo. It doesn’t have to be this way. That can be changed. No more women or men need to suffer. No more persecutors nor survivors of sexual assault and rape need exist.

The current 26 Best Practices in Higher Education … for mitigating sexual assault and rape on university and college campuses. These Best Practices are not enough.

• Implement multi-session training that includes peer-led discussions, role-playing, and guest speakers on the topic of sexual assault and rape.

• Teach clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent as active communication rather than just rules to memorize. Explicitly address how alcohol and drug impairment impact the ability to consent.

• Address attitudes that excuse harassment, objectification, or coercion, involving student leaders, athletic teams, Greek life, and social organizations as positive messengers.

• Implement evidence-based programs to train students, faculty, and staff to recognize concerning situations.

• Train bystanders to safely intervene without putting themselves in danger.

• Audit and renovate campus “hot spots”, improve lighting, increase visibility, and place clear safety and resource information across campus.

• Combine targeted alcohol management policies with campus-wide prevention strategies, as high-risk drinking environments strongly correlate with increased vulnerability.

• Partner with campus groups—such as athletic departments, theater, student government, and Greek organizations—to model egalitarian behavior and shift community standards.

• Establish transparent, trauma-informed policies with multiple, confidential reporting options that make survivor resources easy to find.

• Ensure institutional accountability by fairly tracking, investigating, and disciplining perpetrators over time.

• Conduct anonymous campus climate surveys to track how safe students feel, measure assault prevalence, and evaluate whether institutional changes actually build trust and increase reporting.

• Require training for all employees to recognize, handle, and report sexual misconduct.

• Conduct thorough background checks that explicitly exclude individuals with a history of violent behavior.

• Establish transparent, accessible, and straightforward procedures for reporting incidents.

• Create programs, leadership roles, and spaces that build agency and safety for female students.

• Support and run student-led or institutional campaigns to educate the campus community.

• Implement evidence-based educational and intervention programs across campus

• Provide comprehensive, clear education defining enthusiastic and ongoing consent.

• Offer academic credit for courses focused on gender equality and healthy relationships.

• Provide reliable transportation or walking escorts across campus grounds, especially at night.

• Taking reports seriously: Treat all survivor disclosures with empathy, credibility, and zero victim-blaming.

• Accountability for perpetrators: Hold offenders accountable through fair disciplinary processes regardless of their athletic, social, or academic status.

• Utilize campus safety apps that allow quick alerts, GPS tracking, and emergency contacts.

• Offer accessible, professional counseling services dedicated to trauma-informed care.

• Survivor support groups: Facilitate safe, peer-led or clinician-led support groups for healing and community.

• Coordinate cross-departmental efforts (security, health, student affairs, and administration) to ensure a unified approach to campus safety.

IT IS HERE NOW

The Indigenous people’s of this land stood for inter-relationship, inter-connectedness, respect, humility, generosity, courage and fortitude. All things are sacred; worthy of awe, respect, kindness, obeisance, safety, non-violence, life and love.

Trump’s War on Mother Earth Is a War on the Sacred

Pedophile, rapist and sycophantic Ziofascist Trump and his soulless minions ordered 450-500 trees be cut down in order to expand the Washington D.C. golf course. The Ziofascists of this world stand for greed, selfishness, violence, hatred, cowardice, evil and death.

Pedophile, rapist and sycophantic Ziofascist Trump signed proclamations on July 13, 2026, to reduce the size of the Bears Ears National Monument by roughly 90%, cutting it from about 1.36 million acres down to 121,096 acres

It is not spiritually wrong to pray for and act on the end of this being and its cadre of soulless cult members. A murderous pedophile does not have the right to even walk and breathe on The Mother lest rape her like it has raped the feminine and the innocent. Yet, we Americans sit and watch him defile all that is sacred, in new ways every single day.

We are all complicit now in the multiple genocides he is executing before our eyes. The spirit world makes it clear that it, this orange thing, may be the most putrid and vile excuse for a human that has ever existed. And according to what I hear he hasn’t even completed his most heinous act… that does not have to occur if we act. The act hangs in the future waiting to be ignited.

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Take heed of the message.

When an American war ship is in danger or a military position is about to be over-run by the enemy the sailors or troops hang the American flag up-side-down. This is not a show of disrespect. It is a signal. A warning, “Help. We are not ok”

We are not OK. We are in danger of sinking. We are about to be over-run. The enemy is not Out There. The enemy, the danger, is from within our own government that is controlled by Zion. Our country is being destroyed by a cabal of treasonous, greedy, lying, soul-less, genocidal, rapists and pedophiles.

These evil beings are about to lead the world into nuclear war. These sociopaths and psychopaths have shown us their true colours. (That is not a misspelling. The phrase "show your true colours" is an English idiom that means to reveal a person's real character, genuine personality, or hidden intentions). We must stop them, now.

Lakota people had a name for white people, Wašíču. Wašíču ‘means or refers’ to white people, but translates as Fat Taker. Lakota people are NOT Native Americans. The country named America did not exist before the Wašíču arrived, killed everything and gave it that name. No different than pedophile Trump now wanting to name everything after himself.

Lakota people are not Indian in the sense of the greedy idiots who may have thought they discovered India. They aren’t even the Indian who the Spanish referred to as ‘Indios’, those that know God. The Lakota people did not have one God, he came along when the Christians demanded it. The Lakota know that there is spirit and sentience in ALL THINGS … good and evil in all things.

The Fat Takers didn’t, and don’t, believe in anything greater than themselves. The name Wašíču is as fitting now as it was in 1860. They steal, abuse and use women, children, soldiers, animals, plants, resources, the land, the air, the water and earth. The greedy Fat Takers will kill us all … not matter your color.

Let’s see what a Lakota elder has to say about it all.

Yes, time to end this and these beasts who surly have signed their souls to eternal perdition but in the meantime seek to create such a hell on earth for all living beings.

We are not okay. And, we are the only one’s who can save ourselves and all our relations. Time to stand and fight.

Introduction

In 1989 I met Nakota artist Ray ‘Fighting Bear’ Winters. You can read about Ray on-line and I’ve written about him before. I was guided to Ray by a Lakota woman who recognized my need to establish relationship with Lakota elders. Eventually Ray constructed my shield and after four dances, my Sun Dance drum.

Ray’s interpretation of a Wakinyan (Thunder Being)

You can see the rain, the lightning and even the Thunder. What Ray did NOT know was that a different Lakota woman had told me that an old Indian man, a spirit named Red Eagle Lightning, had been walking with me for a long time.

Ray’s interpretation of Sun Dance

When we met in Rapid City, SD I told Ray I was going to be spending the summer on the Rosebud. Ray gave me an important piece of advice. The gist of what he said is this;

Indian people do not trust easily. But when trust is established and they see that you are sincere you will have a friend for life. White people like to talk and need to tell you what they know. I’d like to suggest to you that you listen more than speak. I’d like to suggest to you that even if someone wishes to tell you a story that you’ve already heard you answer with, ‘I’d love to hear what you have to say.’ And then, give them tobacco or a sandwich or coffee as a thank you. Lakota tradition is not a religion. It is an individual experience. It is a way of life. You will be told a version of a story you need to hear at that time … and that version may be different than what you read in books or are told is THEE story. There is no, THEE story.

So, what I am going to do is tell you the very first version of the White Buffalo Calf Woman story I heard from an elder. The wording is precise. Numerous metaphors becoming apparent, telling stories within stories. Metaphors expressing, to those who are willing to ponder, the philosophies and reminders of White Buffalo Calf Woman. Notice how if one doesn’t listen carefully misinterpretation can occur quite easily. For example; the story does not claim she is a beautiful woman. She is a woman walking in a beautiful way. We must be wary of mistakenly including Western values or non-values.

Teaching

Two young men were out on the prairie, hunting. In the distance they saw a young woman walking toward them in a beautiful way. The first man said, “I’m going to go have my way with her.” The second man said, “I don’t think you should be speaking and acting that way. She is a spirit.”

But that first man did not hear the warning and he ran over to the woman… and embraced her … and in that very same moment a cloud of smoke covered the two of them. Seconds passed and the cloud of smoke blew away. There stood the woman, alone, the bones of the man lying in the grass at her feet.

The second man trembled in fear. The woman looked at the man and said, “Do not be afraid. During that short time your friend and I lived a long life together. But he never wanted to know me and so he remains only bones at my feet. Go tell your people to place their teepees together and that in four days I will come and provide them with a gift.”

The man ran back to the village and told the elders what he had experienced. They sewed all of the tipis together forming one large cover and waited. On the fourth day she appeared. She carried a red disc in her hand and a bundle on her back. The people waited and greeted her with respect.

The woman said, “You have forgotten how to pray. You have forgotten how to honor the Tunkasilas, nature, one another and yourselves. I bring gifts for you so sit and listen.” The people sat down and she began by introducing herself and why she could this. She was giving what we call, hanbloglaka. Spirit talk. An introduction to herself and her relatives. This is something elders and ceremonial leaders all do now. They are introducing themselves to everything that is listening.

The woman showed the people a disc made of red stone, pipestone. On the disc was carved the image of a constellation of stars, the Seven Sisters.

(Pipestone is found mainly in one place on the prairie in Minnesota. You can read about this place called, Pipestone National Park. The stone’s scientific name is Catlinite. A geologist named the stone in honor of lawyer and prairie artist George Catlin. Pipestone has been mined for 3,000 years by Indigenous peoples. The image of the Seven Sisters Star Constellation (Pleiades) becomes important later.)

The woman then took the bundle from her back, laid it on the ground, and opened it for the people to see. There on the hide lay a piece of red pipestone carved into the shape of a pipe bowl. And next to the bowl a stem made of the leg bone of a buffalo calf. The woman said to the people;

“I will show you how to use these two pieces in prayer. Every family can have their own pipe and there can be a community pipe that will be used in ceremonies I will teach you. Ceremonies that will heal you, the land and all things. The stem represents the man and the energy of a man. The bowl represents the woman and the energy of the woman. When the two pieces are put together they show you how to be … both the man and the woman … the energy of the man and the woman … are both needed. The pipe should only be used in prayer. I will show you how to make a mixture of plants and herbs that will hold your prayers and when lit the smoke will drift carrying your prayers to the tunkasilas. This pipe will remind you to be good people. It will remind you to remember the tunkasilas. It will serve as a way to speak with the tunkasilas when you are in need.”

The woman then proceeded to tell people about the pipe, how to create one, how to use one and how to keep it in a good way. She began to tell the people the first of seven sacred ceremonies. Then, when it was time to leave she turned into all things, or all nations, (wamákhašką óyasʼiŋ).

Now, decades later, I can tell you I have never again heard that version of the story. But you must remember what I said earlier … we hear the story we need to hear. My belief is this, that that version is what our current society needs to hear. That I need(ed) to share THAT version of the story because men in our society don’t respect women, don’t respect the feminine within themselves and don’t respect Mother Nature. It is why men violate women, violate nature and violate themselves … and little is done to change that horrific way of thinking and behaving.

There are 5,626 universities in the USA

8.7 million women attend universities

6.5 million males attend universities

2.78 million women are sexually assaulted and/raped at these universities

Sexual Assault and rape is under-reported so this number is actually low

“Oh that is bullshit. Women love sex as much as men. Women just feel guilty and then yell ‘rape’ when it actually was just a regrettable drunken hook-up.”

2.78 Million

A bulleted list of the ‘26 Best Practices for mitigating sexual assault and rape on college and university campuses’ appears at end of this post. The Best Practices have not changed since 1969. What has changed is that even a higher percentage of women are being raped and sexually assaulted.

A scientifically proven approach does work. It is called The Passage Process

It is understandable that readers are not willing to browse a long treatise. That said, The Passage Process will be presented in bullet form. A building block style is being utilized.

The Passage Process in Bulleted Form

• Too often student behavior is based on impulsive needs rather than thoughtful, intentional deliberation. A basic need of young people is, to be accepted and not rejected.

  Imagine 100’s or 1000’s of young people converging at a university. All being led to believe they are adults when actually they are becoming adults. Yet, most looking to be accepted, to be seen. All these young people, thrown into the same unknown situation and place looking side-to-side for wisdom. It is a veritable petri dish for something rally bad to happen.

• We need to take a look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for a second. Let’s suggest that all the students come to campus from great homes, great situations and all have reached the level, as stated by Maslow, where their behaviors are motivated by the need to build self-esteem and become even more confident, successful and complete (the green level).

  

• But there is a problem. It is a fact that when humans enter a previously unknown situation they drop on Maslow to feeling unsafe and insecure (the orange level). The ensuing feelings are anxiety and fear.

• When humans feel unsafe or insecure they are motivated to become safe and secure, once again. Anxiety and fear are not enjoyable feelings.

• Students turn to six possible behaviors in their effort to feel better. Fight, Flight, Submit, Posture (pretend to be ok or even confident), Attend and /or Befriend.

• Ultimately, they look around and try to figure out how to be accepted and not rejected. Behaviors based on that premise are not thoughtful and intentional behaviors but are impulsive need based behaviors that are probably unsuccessful and dangerous.

• Sober, deliberate, intentional behaviors and decisions are based on one’s core values.

• A value is defined as, 1) something you have thought about, 2) something you believe, 3) something you feel strongly about, 4) something you communicate to others, 5) something you have chosen freely, and 6) something you act on skillfully and repeatedly over time.

• A mature, aware, individuated person is able to list 100-150 core values that guide their decisions and behaviors.

• Core values, as per the definition above, form the foundation of one’s character.

• Return to my first bullet point. If a person cannot articulate their values, if they haven’t thought through WHO they are then … when they fall back to orange in a time of chaos…they tend to easily fall prey to peer pressure.

• The social peer pressure of every college involves pre-gaming, drinking, drugging, sewing one’s wild oats and acting like everyone around ‘you’ so that you will be accepted and not rejected.

• For decades now administrators wrongly believe that PROGRAMS on sexual assault, rape and alcohol abuse work. They do not.

• Programs last 45 to 60 minutes. It is possible to increase one’s awareness in such a program but it is virtually impossible to change one’s behavior.

• The most basic understanding of CHANGE is that it is a longitudinal five step process.

• People change over time.

• Conscious or unconscious values, which are the foundation of behavior, take time to change. Thus, the five stage. process.

• The five stage process, (Prochaska) is 1) pre-contemplation (you can’t know what you don’t know) 2) contemplation (awareness or new information), 3) preparing to change (changing one’s values and behaviors is along complicated process), 4) change, and 5) maintenance (practicing and thus reinforcing the new values and behaviors)

• Processes work and programs do not.

• Three words; Willingness, Ability and Confidence are explored, defined, and practiced.

• Simply telling someone to do something or not to do something does not work and does not elicit compliance or change. Threats and rules do not work. What does work is revealing and examining values and then learning new behaviors. This takes time. This is a longitudinal process.

• High self-esteem is part of the equation. There are four components of high self-esteem, 1) a person must know they are loved unconditionally by at least one other person, 2) a person must love themself physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, 3) a person must know they are worthwhile, and 4) a person must do things of worth for others.

• Far too many young people do not measure up to this definition of self-esteem and thus are prone to acting on needs not values. Remember, the need to be accepted and not be rejected has a tendency to lead to dangerous behaviors.

• If a person does not love themself or treat themself as sacred they will not be able to authentically treat others as sacred.

• Sacred is defined as, 1) worthy of kindness, 2) worthy of non-violence, 3) worthy of respect, 4) worthy of awe, 5) worthy of the gifts of life, 6) worthy of safety, 7) worthy of love.

• If a person of low self-esteem does not see themselves as sacred … then how can we expect them to treat others as sacred? It takes time to teach people how to find high self-esteem and how to believe they are sacred. It is a process.

• There is a direct correlation between low self-esteem and violence to self, others, property and nature.

• An important tangent is this, in our culture men (and women) are taught that women are submissive toys (sluts and goddesses). You don’t believe me. Try this; make a list of all the non-violent, romantic and loving language we utilize relative to intercourse or sex. My guess is you came up with about four answers. Now, make a list of all the violent, abusive, often carpentry based language. My guess is you have come up with between 30 and 60 terms. That is just one of the many awareness tools used in the Passage Process to change a students thoughts and behaviors (stage 1 and 2 on Prochaska’s Model for change) Moving from pre-contemplation to contemplation. This takes time. This takes process.

• The Passage Process continues to help young people contemplate who they are and who they want to become. We ask them questions like; 1) What do you stand for?, 2) What is your Creed, 3) Who do you emulate and why? 4) What are the societal taboos of a culture and what are the taboos you will never cross?, 5) Write about morals and then list the morals that guide your behavior, 6) In life do you see yourself as a creator or a destroyer? 7) On a scale from 1-7 how violent are you?, 8) How do you view the other gender(s)?, 9) What is the holistic vision you have of yourself five years from now (physical, emotional, cognitive, spiritual), 10) What is something greater than yourself that you intentionally honor?, 11), Who are the five most important of the other gender(s) you love and would never harm? 12) Ask ten friends and family to tell you what they think you value, 13) How do you want to be remembered? This is a long time consuming process of change.

• Young men, especially, need to be tempered. This is not a discussion about becoming angry. Being tempered, or not losing one’s temper, means remembering to act like the person you want to be, the person you uncovered and discovered in the course of the Passage Process. Tempering is an extended process of discovery, change, learning new skills and behaviors, and maintaining the change.

• Key terms in the Passage Process include; Love. Sacredness. Agency. Stealing. Lying. Ethics. Values. Creating. Self-esteem. Developmental Stages. Integrity. Honor. Truth. Character. Leadership. Kindness. Feminine tones. Masculine tones. Generosity. Self-care. Humility. Tenacity. Courage.

Building men of character and integrity who eventually say, “I am not going to harm myself or others because that has nothing to do with being a man of character,” takes time. I can prove that over an extended period of time, about one year, we can develop non-violent men of character and integrity that are willing AND ABLE to create and not destroy

There is more but hopefully you are beginning to understand what must be done and can be done if we are to protect women and men from violence.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

PLEASE… help me get out the word. This process can be taught and utilized on every college campus. It takes three years to change the culture of a campus. Right now all colleges have accepted violence to self and others as the status quo. It doesn’t have to be this way. That can be changed. No more women or men need to suffer. No more persecutors nor survivors of sexual assault and rape need exist.

The current 26 Best Practices in Higher Education … for mitigating sexual assault and rape on university and college campuses. These Best Practices are not enough.

• Implement multi-session training that includes peer-led discussions, role-playing, and guest speakers on the topic of sexual assault and rape.

• Teach clear, ongoing, and affirmative consent as active communication rather than just rules to memorize. Explicitly address how alcohol and drug impairment impact the ability to consent.

• Address attitudes that excuse harassment, objectification, or coercion, involving student leaders, athletic teams, Greek life, and social organizations as positive messengers.

• Implement evidence-based programs to train students, faculty, and staff to recognize concerning situations.

• Train bystanders to safely intervene without putting themselves in danger.

• Audit and renovate campus “hot spots”, improve lighting, increase visibility, and place clear safety and resource information across campus.

• Combine targeted alcohol management policies with campus-wide prevention strategies, as high-risk drinking environments strongly correlate with increased vulnerability.

• Partner with campus groups—such as athletic departments, theater, student government, and Greek organizations—to model egalitarian behavior and shift community standards.

• Establish transparent, trauma-informed policies with multiple, confidential reporting options that make survivor resources easy to find.

• Ensure institutional accountability by fairly tracking, investigating, and disciplining perpetrators over time.

• Conduct anonymous campus climate surveys to track how safe students feel, measure assault prevalence, and evaluate whether institutional changes actually build trust and increase reporting.

• Require training for all employees to recognize, handle, and report sexual misconduct.

• Conduct thorough background checks that explicitly exclude individuals with a history of violent behavior.

• Establish transparent, accessible, and straightforward procedures for reporting incidents.

• Create programs, leadership roles, and spaces that build agency and safety for female students.

• Support and run student-led or institutional campaigns to educate the campus community.

• Implement evidence-based educational and intervention programs across campus

• Provide comprehensive, clear education defining enthusiastic and ongoing consent.

• Offer academic credit for courses focused on gender equality and healthy relationships.

• Provide reliable transportation or walking escorts across campus grounds, especially at night.

• Taking reports seriously: Treat all survivor disclosures with empathy, credibility, and zero victim-blaming.

• Accountability for perpetrators: Hold offenders accountable through fair disciplinary processes regardless of their athletic, social, or academic status.

• Utilize campus safety apps that allow quick alerts, GPS tracking, and emergency contacts.

• Offer accessible, professional counseling services dedicated to trauma-informed care.

• Survivor support groups: Facilitate safe, peer-led or clinician-led support groups for healing and community.

• Coordinate cross-departmental efforts (security, health, student affairs, and administration) to ensure a unified approach to campus safety.

  

In my role as therapist, a significant percent of the people I met in counseling were veterans of war and/or victims of physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. As early as 1975 I began to meet with veterans of the Vietnam War and by 1979, during my doctoral work at Mississippi State, a majority of my clients were veterans of war. My boss at the time was a Vietnam Veteran and we decided that PTSD would be my focus during the internship.

I’d always been taught the value of the Holistic Model. That all aspects of life including therapy, involved physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual components. No matter the presenting problem; addiction, love, depression, anxiety or PTSD a therapist needed to consider all four aspects of the holistic model. Luckily for me, the faculty at Mississippi State trained us to include the spiritual ( not religious) component in our therapeutic work as well as the other three.

I was taught that the component of spirituality had to do with the amorphous concept of connection. Connection or disconnection to oneself, to family, to others, to nature, and to the spirit world (one’s relatives, friends, acquaintances, pets, homes, experiences, memories or other things of the past that may have passed on or passed by). In order to find peace and balance a person must examine the spiritual disconnections of their life as well as remember and honor the positive connections.

If a person chooses to not confront those difficult disconnection (experiences) they could expand, mutate and become quite dangerous. These spiritual disconnections need to be dealt with early on before they became part of one’s identity in a negative or harmful manner.

1979, while at Mississippi State a very slight of build young man came in for counseling. His name was Cubby. Cubby was a Vietnam Veteran having left the service in 1976. Cubby was so small in stature I remember silently (and naively) thinking that he would not pose much of a threat to an enemy on the battlefield.

Very quickly my naive assumption was shattered. Cubby had been a Tunnel Rat as recently as four years ago. He spoke of crawling through dark tunnels alive with spiders, snakes and traps. He shared, in great detail, the anxiety he experienced every time he slipped underground. He was haunted by things he had done. His killing of the enemy was up close and personal. He related stories of garroting and stabbing men in a darkness where often times he couldn’t see them but smelled their blood and sweat … felt the other fighting for their life … the screams and grunts … and then the person going limp as they died in his grasp. Their warm blood covering his hands, arms and face. His nightmares were horrific.

I would walk on campus with my clients. Veterans especially didn’t like the feeling of sharing their world in a tight little room. While walking with him we passed a group of three or four guys of large stature. I think Cubby lived with them in a residence hall or played flag football with them during intramural. No matter; these guys saw him and began to mouth off about his size and how they would pulverize him next time they met on the field. Cubby returned the bad natured banter.

As we walked on I could see and feel that Cubby’s entire being, his very essence, had changed. I didn’t say anything … and then Cubby said, “If I had a piece of wire and a knife I could take them out in a few seconds.” (This is a pattern I witnessed with many vets. They would express their pain or anger in terms of battlefield practices) As we walked he was envisioning what he could do to them while simultaneously recalling his tunnel horrors.

Cubby was beginning to identify as a killer. A Tunnel Rat. Someone who killed in the darkness of an underworld. My job was to pull him out of the tunnels and back into the light of humanity. Was pre-war Cubby still ‘in there’?

After completing my doctorate in 1981 I worked as a consultant for six years, thus a temporary respite from working as a therapist. By 1988 I had returned to counseling as a Director of Counseling at a small college in New Hampshire. It was there I met the dozens of disconnected students practicing physical self-abuse, alcohol and drug addiction, as well the physical and sexual abuse of one another. The spiritual disconnection was there but under different circumstances. Violence is violence.

It was in 1989 and 1990 that I was suffering from a case of ineptness as a therapist and was guided to the Rosebud Reservation and Leksi’s Albert, Joe and so many others. I would explain to my elders that an aspect of my counseling was missing, the spiritual, and I didn’t know what to do. They told me what to do, a ceremony called Wičháŋpi Wóyute. Translated as Star Feeding, it became a practice I utilized with my clients.

The Stars are very important to Lakota people. The stars are important to most Indigenous people’s. The stars were not just a way to navigate. The stars were relatives who listened to us. Who ached to help us. People through time have prayed with the stars. The Lakota people know each of us has a Star in the sky, a relative to communicate with whenever we wish. The Lakota Star quilt offers us an example of that knowing. We wear such a quilt when we stand on the hill in prayer. The blanket we wear calls out to the Star … ‘I am here. The wind blowing in my face. Please listen to what I have to say as I cry out. Please walk with me. Be with me.’

The Stars love us. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? The Stars love us as they look down both day and night. They can see us even when we can’t see them. But the elders warn, we have entered a time of sadness when the Stars can no longer see us nor we, them. In the natural order of things there is day and there is night. We need both. But we have created perpetual light, we have created homes that we do not leave as we have come to fear the night, and thus the Stars no longer play a part in our lives. We have disconnected from the Stars.

(When the missionaries and soldiers defeated the Indian peoples they forced them to live inside, to divorce from nature. This was part and parcel of the holistic destruction of Native cultures. Disconnect people from everything they know and love, including the stars in the sky.)

1990. Back at New England College, I was guided to build a little sweat lodge (Ini) in front of the counseling center. Uncle Albert visited the campus, helped me construct the ini, and taught me the songs necessary to re-connect the students to themselves, others and all things. It was a special place for hundreds of students as they reconnected. We would sit outside by the fire and the students would look up into the night sky in wonder. If even for a moment they left the world of violence.

For those deeply wounded students I practiced, or had them practice, Feeding the Stars. I would ask them to purchase a little piece of quartz, or provided them with a piece of quartz, that they would carry with them for four days or more. The students were guided to speak to the stone. To release their guilt, anxiety, fear, doubt into the stone. That the stone, as a relative, gladly accepted this role. Then, when ready, the student would place the stone in the nearby river, or leave it up in the woods or place it in into the fire. This release of negativity that kept them disconnected then re-connected them to self and all things.

Students took these stones into the ini and ‘prayed’ with them there. As they sat under the stars they would hold this stone in their hand or lay it on the ground next to them. Some found it difficult to part wit this stone but they knew it was necessary. Inn order to release the wound they had to release the stone. The stone, too, would then release the wound of their friend into the water, earth or fire.

Of course, in the 1880’s, Wičháŋpi Wóyute was banned by the priests and missionaries. The practice was viewed as devil worship or superstition. Yet another way the Dominant Culture disconnected others … and ultimately, themselves.

By the year 2000, when I received the Star Stone Altar, my understanding of the strength and efficacy of the ceremony had increased. For example, I would put a vet on the hill … out in nature … for one to four nights … securely surrounded by prayer flags and ties. They. would be guided to bring a dozen or more stones with them into this encirclement of prayer. They were told to ruminated on a wound or a memory causing them guilt, pain, anxiety and disconnection. To give that pain to a stone, to thank the stone, and then toss the stone out of the encirclement. To give that pain back to The Mother. To release it.

“Tunkasila, free me of those things that do not serve me, all my relatives nor you”

A beautiful ceremony healing and reconnecting all things. Is there scientific proof this ceremony works? No, not yet. But I’ve witnessed the change and so have many of those who performed this old rite of reconnection.

I believe it is time many of us conduct this ceremony, or version of this ceremony, for ourselves, others and all our relations including The Mother, herself.

Mitakuye Oyasin

Rags

P.S I was taught a particularly poignant Wičháŋpi Wóyute ceremony that should not be trifled with by anyone who does not have a deep knowing and belief. It is a ceremony that 99.99 percent of Americans wouldn’t believe anyway so I’m not too concerned. It is called the Wakíŋyaŋ Wítka Woéčhuŋ, Thunderbeing Egg Ceremony.

There is a particular rare geode found out West, marked with pentagonal ridges. Those of us who know understand this is the egg of the Thunderbeings. Thunderbeings (Wakinyan) are formless, cosmic forces that billow and shift like storm clouds. They flap their wings and the wind blows and thunder is heard. Lightning flashes from their eyes. The people of this Star Stone Altar will tell you that when we conduct ceremony rain, wind, lightning and thunderstorms appear. Even in winter. When the Wakinyan do take a physical shape they appear as Thunderbirds and are viewed as a force capable of destruction or renewal.

The precious Thunderbeing Egg is found and taken with prayer and then handed to a person who has cancer or some other debilitating problem. The person is made to understand that this egg, this life, is willing to sacrifice itself for the person. That this egg will take the sickness from the person and move it into itself. When conducted in a good way this ceremony is filled with wonder, tears and beauty. After the transfer the egg is placed in a lake or buried in The Mother to heal.

We have seen people cured of cancer and other illnesses. Some medicine people report that when they break the egg open it is filled with the sickness. The spirits of this country are long forgotten but wait for us to remember them. ‘All medicine wants is pain to cure’, states Rumi.

Please offer prayers to my friend and great artist Brent Hardisty. He has left for a while but with your prayers he will return. There is work to do. You are loved Brent.

Please comment and like my posts. I can’t get beyond ten readers. Please help me.

A long time ago an angry older man, a practitioner of Lakota tradition, invited me for a ride in his pickup truck because there were things he had to say. He didn’t like that I had been accepted and welcomed by many people as a Yuwipi man. He was ten years older than me so it was my place to sit quietly and listen to what he had to say.

He stopped the truck in a grassy open expanse and began to speak to me about tradition. I won’t bore you with the details but his point was, “… you cannot change the way it has ALWAYS been.” He was very unhappy.

As I listened to him I remembered the words of many of my teachers; the gist of their guidance being, “This responsibility will be a burden. People won’t like you because you will have broken their way of knowing… what they call tradition and the way they have come to believe IT IS. This is uncomfortable for them. You are stepping on their truth. We have taught you, there is no the way it is. All is possible. Speak wisely.”

After he finished I sat quietly and acknowledged his concern. Then I reiterated a bit of what I had been taught. Not in a sarcastic manner. Not in a competitive manner. I shared with this elder what had been shared with me.

“I can only share with you what was taught to me, my experience. I began by sharing the names of my teachers (hanbloglaka). The Lakota way is not a religion. It is a way of life. A way of living. A way of connecting with all things. Since the time when the Lakota people were lured out of Washúŋ Niyá (What is called Wind Cave) by Iktomi (Trickster) and Anog-Ite (Double Faced Woman) the people have adapted.

They followed the buffalo to learn what to eat. When horses arrived they learned how to ride. When cloth appeared they learned to make prayer ties and prayer flags. When rifles, tarps, saws and lighters appeared the people used these tools. (Uncle Albert would laugh and say, ‘White people are very important to us for two things, blue tarps and Bic lighters. Maybe three, chain saws.’).

I was taught, there is no the way it is, that “everything is possible.”

He listened. Nodded. Started the truck and we returned to his home. We became friends and he never brought the topic nor his concern up again.

The Teaching

The Lakota medicine wheel (sacred hoop Cangleska Wakan) is not a closed system. It is not a rigid boundary. It is not a BOX. Boxes are constructed of linear lines with beginnings and endings. Lines meeting at sharp corners. The medicine wheel is an infinite fluid shape with no beginning and no end. It is the base of the tipi, a symbol within the symbol of the kapemni, it is the Sun Dance circle, all that is round, the Mother, cosmos … DNA, it is a way of connecting and living. It is freedom. It is life.

The Lakota people lived in a kapemni, the symbol of life. DNA? They lived in a medicine wheel. Do you see, do you understand?

Of course the Indigenous peoples, no matter where on earth, had to be silenced. Had to die. Let me show you again. Trouble makers around the world understood the meaning of the circle. The dominant culture grew to hate this symbol. Hate based on fear. Fear? Fear of what?

Indigenous peoples of the world began to fear the symbol of the box … imagine the eventual, learned thoughts and fears of the Indigenous people when these boxes appeared on the horizon.

‘Box’ as antithesis of the circle. Consider the language, the phrasing

Pandora’s box is an idiom for; an action that seems fine at first, but actually creates a large and unexpected cascade of troubles

The Box, the worst punishment known to man… solitary confinement

Trapped in a box, claustrophobia; confined space, suffocating, or being unable to move.

Boxed in, contained; Restrained. Imprisoned. Walled out. Keeping something you fear or hate out, or in. Unable to grow or move. Stagnant. Stealing one’s freedom.

Trapped in a box for eternity. The ultimate box is the coffin. To not be able to think out of this box can trigger a deep-seated fear of death and finality.

That said, here is what I offer regarding the concocted boxes of life in which we find ourselves

• The box of helplessness and despair in which we may find ourselves is the result of consciously or unconsciously feeling the concoction of helplessness and despair pulsating through the universe, birthed by sentient beings literally and existentially feeling boxed into their world. A veritable echo chamber of helplessness and despair.

• The box of religion or the scientific box of ‘there is no spirit world’ was concocted by those egotistical, greedy, unbalanced, lying thieves in power who claim only THEY can own and operate ‘the box’. You must obey because you are not smart enough, masculine enough, white enough, straight enough, smart enough, or sacred enough to live outside their box nor to ‘walk in beauty with ALL your relations on your own.’

  

• The box of ‘there is nothing you can do about ‘it’ because of the box of law’ was concocted by greedy, thieving, egotistical, selfish, lying beings who control nearly everything … including your very lives. (Being homeless is illegal now in some states. Poor people cannot use the aid begrudgingly provided by the government for things like candy, soda, pet food, hot prepared food or vitamins. Health and help safeguards are being repealed or violated. The rich are not taxed. If the president is a genocidal, greedy, lying, treasonous, rapist, racist, evil thief there is nothing you can do except wait until election time.)

• The box of, ‘Sexual assault and rape is the way it is and nothing can be done about it’ was concocted by rapists and pedophiles. (13% of all women in college, 25% of all girls, 5% of all boys, and 21 % of all women in the USA will be sexually assaulted and/or raped in their lifetime.)

There are many other negative boxes all concocted by the greedy and those in control and/or concocted by ourselves as a defensive mechanism … a defense against action, participation, failure or being wounded. Enough is enough. There is a bright world waiting outside the box. Break free of the concoctions. Create your own medicine wheel. It is possible. The spirit world, the spirits of this country, are waiting to help you, us.

Ween Yourself

- Jallaludin Rumi

What if someone said to an embryo in the womb,
‘Outside of your world of black nothing
is a miraculously ordered universe;
a vast Earth covered with tasty food;
mountains, oceans and plains,
fragrant orchards and fields full of crops;
a luminous sky beyond your reach,
with a sun, moonbeams, and uncountable stars;
and there are winds from south, north and west,
and gardens replete with sweet flowers
like a banquet at a wedding feast.

The wonders of this world are beyond description.
What are you doing living in a dark prison,
Drinking blood through that narrow tube?’

But the womb-world is all an embryo knows
And it would not be particularly impressed
By such amazing tales, saying dismissively:
‘You’re crazy. That is all a deluded fantasy.’

One day you will look back and laugh at yourself.
You’ll say, ‘ I can’t believe I was so asleep!
How did I ever forget the truth?
How ridiculous to believe that sadness and sickness
Are anything other than bad dreams.

Do you want to be healed? That is the question.

You dear reader, in your role as patient or client, are more likely to differentiate an authentic medicine person or shaman from an imposter because the authentic healer knows that in some-form-or-fashion, sooner not later, this question must be asked. (Physicians and nurses could do right by taking up the habit of asking this question. A hesitation, an unclear answer, a facial expression, a definitive ‘YES’, a gut level feeling about the patient when they answer can tell a thousand stories. I digress) Remember, a true medicine person or shaman does not infer or take credit for healing someone. In essence, the healer is asking the question on the behest of what walks with them. True healers are actually quite humble even though a few come across as arrogant. Arrogance diminishes with age, experience, wisdom and a few cracks up-side the head by the spirit world. The question ‘Do you want to be healed” is about permission, is about discerning if the patient or client has thought through what healing entails and understands the potential consequences of being healed, if the wounded person sincerely wishes to be healed, and to establish relationship.

As a yuwipi man what do I ‘see’ or am shown when I ask a client or patient (a person) that question? I can only inform you about my experience and no one else’s. Let me once again show you pictorially. The person is not ‘seen’ as just a two- or three-dimensional medicine wheel.

They are seen multi-dimensionally at every age of their life. All the ages co-exist. There isn’t a ‘past’ that once-upon-a-time existed, nor is there a ‘future’ that MAY exist. They all exist in this moment; they co-exist and are inter-related. My interaction is more than just seeing them holistically. The person is there in all their iterations.

Depending upon the healing that the person is seeking I may be shown where else in the universe they exist. This helps in understanding the influences one has on another.

But something extremely important I am shown is their inter-relationships with dad, mom, siblings, friends, teachers, spouses and sometimes even pets. Be they dead or alive. These relationships can be experienced as inter-locking or separate medicine wheels but usually, these relationships are depicted as a web with many points (people) in that web. If the strands or inter-locking medicine wheels are lit or colorful then I can see what is strong and healthy between and among the person’s relationships. If a strand is dark or broken, I can see (am shown) what may be wrong. What really needs to be healed. Do you understand?

If a person came to the altar because their marriage was in trouble I might be shown this image that depicted their marriage. I don’t assume to know what that means BUT the altar will guide me as in what to ask?

If I am shown a medicine wheel with one of the altar’s helpers on it, then I know what helper is best to sing to or invite in to ask for help. Or, to introduce the person to … which is always wonderful. The altar’s lead singer is prepared by knowing many invitation songs. Tanagila, hummingbird, works through this altar. The song is gorgeous.

Mother hummingbird

Father hummingbird

I see you there

Floating in the air

Please come and take this (from the person)

In these difficult times ceremony becomes more and more important. People are sad, depressed and feeling despair. Hope can be difficult to find. People feel helpless and don’t know what to do. The altar has shown me the pain of the Mother. Has shown me what could happen if we don’t act soon.

It is a time to heal. There is so much we can do. I hope you will write and comment and ask questions. There are no stupid questions. The Mother needs a yuwipi. I think we all do.

Mitakuye Oyasin

Rags

If one wishes to be a true healer than one must allow this ‘alternate truth and reality’ to break through the personal box of comfort. Your box of comfort was and is created by those who seek power. By those who are fueled by greed and ego. They wish to create a box for YOU and then proceed to inform you, ‘Be happy with that box. Don’t look over there. (The movie, ‘Don’t look up’) There is no other reality or truth except the box … the box taught to you, provided for you, beginning when you were a child. Be a good sheeple. We will tell you what to believe and what not to believe.’

The sheeple don’t know, can’t know, what they don’t know so simply bleat, ‘Baaaa Baaa’ and live in the box provided. Periodically the soul (or the spirit world) whispers, ‘There is more…look around.’ But those troublesome thoughts soon disappear or are ‘disappeared’ for you. Fellow sheep (and those in power) call you crazy or a troublemaker and avoid you, ‘Don’t disturb my comfortable box’ and/or attempt to bring you back into the box and quickly duct tape it closed.

An alternative way of perceiving The Box of Time and Space that you were taught is what these paragraphs are about. This alternate way of perceiving is how the universe is ‘shown to’ is ‘experienced by’ a medicine person, shaman or Iyeska (Interpreter). After a ceremony or other liminal event such as an other-worldly artistic performance or witnessing an act of other-worldly courage, people often exclaim, “That was powerful!” That phrase is probably the only expression available to them because what they experienced was or is outside of their daily, box of comfort.

As I write this it is already 4:30 AM. I’m being shown a million things simultaneously and doing my best to organize so that it makes sense to you. That is the Iyeska, that is Rags, doing this work right now. I’ll fall into exhaustion soon. My old brain and body don’t do as well as it used to when I was young. The altar speaks very fast. I cannot keep up. Be patient with me.

Do your best to gently let the pieces drift into your open palm. Don’t grasp. Don’t try to hold on to the pieces. Simply let them float down on to your open palm and gaze at them. Your job is NOT to get it. There is no, ‘getting it.’

Remember, your mind seeks completion.

Remember, your ego seeks gratification, reward and power.

When with my elders if I exclaimed, “I get it” they would stop teaching. You see, what they heard in that exclamation was, “Got it old man or old woman. Move on.” They figured I was inpatient and just collecting stuff instead of opening myself to wisdom and new possibility. (White men talk … Indigenous people listen).

If they asked me, “Do you understand?” I learned to simply nod or say … ‘I’m listening please tell me more’ or ‘Please give me another example’ or ‘Thank you for asking, may I stop for a while because I think my brain is bleeding?’ I can re-call the laughter of Leksi Albert or Tunkasila Joe or Papa Kahn when I would tell them my brain was bleeding.

They asked the question, ‘Do you understand’ not within the context of a classroom teacher needing to test a student … but from the place of an elder who knew they were breaking the walls of the old box of comfort. That this breaking down can be taxing. They were checking in … checking in on my ego, my motivation, my willingness to ‘surrender to something different’ that I needn’t try to collect, control or for which to receive a gold star or trophy.

One evening, in Hong Kong, sitting with my Muslim elder Papa Kahn … after hours of listening … I informed him that my brain was bleeding. He laughed and asked, “Thomas, why do you visit me every evening after a day of work?” I answered, “Because it is here, with you in this space that I am truly comfortable.” He offered, “No Tom. You must be precise in your understanding, your language. You are not seeking to sit here mindlessly freed of pain and separate from reality… like someone mindlessly watching TV while drinking a beer. You seek comfort … you come here because you actively seek healing … you seek an easing of some discomfort …some ‘thing’ you do not know but you know exists… something you cannot grasp. Thomas, I wish to bring you comfort through sharing wisdom. I hope to never make you feel comfortable. Do you understand? LOL!!!!

I love my elders.

I miss them so much.

Now I’m crying again.

Damn it.

Now it is 5:00 AM

The human mind is quite linear and thinks in terms of beginning-middle-end. The mind is very uncomfortable with incompletion… with, not knowing or controlling or commanding. (Thus, the behavior of some people who suffer with OCD … who ache to find completion, control and mitigate their anxiety in a world of incompletion, randomness, un-control-ability and anxiety. So, they continue to scrub, or rub, or clean, or open or close or or or … in the impossible effort to control the uncontrollable. The anxiety of it all. The insanity. Terribly sad but a consequence of living in a box that the soul knows is a lie.)

If you think .. as I teach this … that you ‘get it’ … that is simply your mind wanting to be done with this amorphous discussion. You will even hear your defense mechanisms talking to you in an effort to protect you from the frustration and anxiety … ‘I hate this kind of philosophical crap … I’m going to go eat a pie’.

This pie eating (or beer drinking or pot smoking) is, in essence, the mind switching off and wanting to be comfortable. The need for the mind to seek completion is what psychiatrist Fritz Perls explained as, the mind trying to complete a Gestalt. There is a sense of peace and comfortability when the brain can finally bring order to chaos.

We learn to apply linear thinking … or its relative, bi-polar thinking … because it brings order to chaos. It helps us to make sense of the chaotic world in which we live.

Beginning-Middle-End

Good vs Bad

Female and Male

Birth-Life-Death

Yes or No

Dieting or Not

Exercising or Not

Either Or

Safe or Unsafe

Republican or Democrat

Win or Lose

Here we go … take a breath … don’t judge … just ‘listen’ …

Aboriginal Australian elder, Bobby McLeod, and I walked three miles to WPI (the University where we worked) together every day and then walked home. It was during these times he would teach. One day he said to me. “The British came to our land, and they killed most of us. Drugged the rest of us. They think the people that they killed are gone, eradicated. They are wrong. They just live on another plane, in another space and time that the colonizer cannot comprehend. They say, they think, they are dead. Ended. When, in actuality, they are right here. Living. Some, even observing and helping when asked.”

This is a Lakota medicine wheel. Made of rawhide and porcupine quills. It holds dozens of teaches.

Indigenous cultures around the world hold the medicine wheel as a sacred symbol, representing wisdom and knowledge. Thus the knowing, we are all related. Even if unconsciously or archetypally.

When you look at a medicine wheel in this manner you see a cross inside of a circle.
In this format our mind views it two dimensionally. Top to bottom and left to right. The mind is a little uncomfortable because, ‘It sure would feel better if those were all straight lines. That circle there is making me feel a little uncomfortable. But ok’.

Ah, better. Much better…

… no. No! Damnit!!

Now imagine a pile of medicine wheels.

And here the chaos begins. The linear mind begins to become uncomfortable. The defense mechanisms kick in. The boredom? The doubt? The, ‘Who cares?”

A medicine wheel, to a medicine person or shaman, is not perceived as a one-, two-or three-dimensional object. It is perceived as a sphere. It is seen and experienced in ceremony, as a sphere. It IS a sphere.

The pile of medicine wheels is experienced as…

All the possibilities within a person or a group of beings as experienced as …

Or, something science labels as Apolloman Packing. I’m hoping that by adding science you will think me less crazy.

The purpose of moving you through this explanation is an attempt to break the box you have been led to believe is reality, your only reality, the only reality.

The purpose of moving you through this explanation is an attempt to break your belief, that has been imposed upon you, that you are helpless. You are not helpless. That you are stuck in this reality in which you reside. You are not stuck unless you choose to be.

A medicine man asks you before ceremony, “Do you want to be healed?” Read: Are you willing to take the chance that what you think is real, is not?”

A modern-day doctor gives you a sugar pill, placebo, and says, “This pill will help you sleep.” It helps, until the doctor informs you it is a sugar pill. Your reality is altered. He broke open your box. Your mind closed it again.

Christians were taught and knew all of this that I share with you today… they believed it until the greedy and power-hungry leaders decided it best the common folk not be privy to the truth. Here is one of the hidden gospels taken from the people (watch your mind now … listen to that voice screaming ‘Blasphemer! Turn away. Turn away. Burn him at the stake”)

From the ACTS of JOHN, a second century Gnostic Text. The specific section, The Mystery of the Cross. The apostle John had fled the danger and chaos of the crucifixion and hid in a cave on the Mount of Olives. While cowering there Jesus appeared to him in a vision of light and explained that his physical body hanging on the cross is mere illusion. Jesus states, ‘The multitude below in Jerusalem believe I am being crucified and pierced with lances and reeds, and gall and vinegar is given me to drink. But unto thee I speak, and what I speak hear thou.”

Alternate possibilities, alternatives, appear when the box is broken open.

Are you beginning to understand?

I am a yuwipi man. Let me explain the ceremony of yuwipi in terms of the medicine wheel, this wisdom, using actual photographs of Lakota people performing yuwipi many many years ago.

- The yuwipi man is stripped of most clothing. (I have nothing to hide. There is no trick)

- The yuwipi man’s hands are tied behind his back. (Do you see, this is how you are tied up. You think you have no freedom or agency)

- A blanket is thrown over the yuwipi man. (Look. This is how they smother you. How you smother yourself. All wrapped up and you can’t see nor breathe. You are so anxious)

- A tether is wrapped around the yuwipi man’s neck and around the blanket seven times (Look. This is how they tie you up. They keep you in your place. They keep you quiet. You become immobilized. Helpless. Alone. All tied in knots.)

- They lay the yuwipi man on the floor and turn out the lights. You, the observer in this ceremony, cannot see your hand in front of your face. (Look. They tie you up. Suffocate you. Throw you on the floor. They tell you that you are helpless. They leave you in the dark. To suffocate and die.)

- Special songs are sung. Prayers have been offered. The people … in one voice and one heart and one love … see this is themselves and pray they be released from this illusion of helplessness.

- Little lights fill the room. Voices from another place can be heard. Everyone is holding hands … everyone knows where everyone else is … One mind. One heart. One prayer. One knowing … the box we are in is a lie.

- The lights come on. The yuwipi man is freed. The blanket folded and placed on the rug. All the tethers rolled in a ball and placed in front of the people. And, often-times, the sick person is healed. What is lost has been found. The illusion broken. A new reality appears in this dimension, in this new medicine wheel …

When the box is open Schroedinger’s cat is alive.

Multiple medicine wheels from multiple places, multiple realities and multiple people have all been unified … all that is inter-connected has healed the person. Found the thing.

This is the way it is. No tricks.

Problem is that you HAVE been tricked and you refuse to be un-tricked. You are stuck in the box. When the lights come on you are still all tied up and suffocating. Or maybe, just maybe, one knot has been untied. You can begin to breathe again.

You have begun to realize; it isn’t about what the pill is composed of … it is about how you choose to perceive your world. Your medicine wheel.

(When I was 39 years old, I was diagnosed with throat cancer. The doctor told me to return in two weeks for a biopsy and probably medical intervention. I asked Joe Eagle Elk for ceremony. He asked me, “Do you want to be healed?” I said, “Yes.” The ceremony was performed. I returned to the doctor, who checked my throat, and with disbelief in his voice said, “Well, what I believed to be cancer is gone. You must have had a miracle. Have a good life.”

It is so.

All, my relatives.

Mitakuye Oyasin.

It is 8:00 AM. Time for coffee.

Rags

And, oh, did he love his people. Be it in a classroom, a sweat lodge or in his truck he spoke of his people. Their trials, tribulations, joys, stories and foibles. He had us laughing all of the time. He left us thinking much of the time. He taught me, “Never ask your people, your students, to do what you haven’t done yourself.”

Let’s begin there. “He loved his people.” Do you love your people? Maybe a more salient question is, “Do you even know your people … your neighbors … your neighbor’s neighbors? Do you even know their name lest their joys, woes, histories, sadnesses and foibles?

I’ve lived here ten years and I don’t know my neighbor’s names. I rarely even see them. The kids don’t play outside or in the street. The neighbors don’t gather or have yard parties. I have no idea their story. I do not love them. Nor dislike them. I simply don’t know them.

From 1959 to 1969 I lived in a suburb of Milwaukee in a lovely little neighborhood. At 76, right now in this moment, I can tell you the names of neighbors four to seven houses to the left and to the right of my house. I can tell you the names of the neighbors across the street and up the block and round the corner. Right now, if you asked, I could draw you a map … place their first and last names, their profession and in some cases their histories. I can tell you who served in WWll. I can tell you the name of their kids, their approximate ages and my relationship with each of them. I can tell you when many of them died and of what cause.

In many cases, I loved them. Not romantically. But when I think of them now I smile our cry. Mr. A who took us kids to a farm and showed us how the farmer planted and harvested corn. R.H. who lived across the street… a wiry funny short man who never got angry even if we hit his picture window with a baseball. J.K. next door who was in the tank core in WWll which later helped me understand why often times he was quiet … quiet in a different kind of way. I remember all of the B’s… five houses up and over from my house. Their son killed in Vietnam. All of the neighbors mourning together.

At times, all of the neighbors partying together. The night one neighbor held a talent contest in the yard for everyone to participate in, or just observe. All of the moms serving as mom for all of the kids. We felt safe, not watched. Safe. And when someone died, everyone was there with food and affection and tears.

I remember back in 1995 an author by the name of Stephanie Coontz was invited to speak on campus. She had written a book titled, ‘The Way We Never Were.’ She spoke to the audience about the myth of American family life and that it was a dangerous trap.

As she spoke I thought to myself, ‘You should have lived in my neighborhood.’ That book and her words I will never forget … because she couldn’t have been more wrong. I am wise enough to know the people in my neighborhood weren’t perfect. I’m guessing some were depressed, or some were hurting their spouse or some drank too much. I don’t know. But what I do know is that over 100 people knew each other. I know, I KNOW, that I could have gone to any one of those people if I was in need … and they would have helped. Everyone protected one another.

I’m smart enough to know poor people in tenements or the homeless didn’t have my privilege. But what I believe is this, they still had something more than so many people have today. Relationship.

Stay with me on this, please.I have a point. From age zero (1950) to age 9 (1959) I lived in another, older neighborhood. To this day I can tell you the names and locations of about 10 neighbors, the car they drove, stories about them and I can describe them to you. And they weren’t all lilly white ‘Americans’. There were those, yes, but also very ‘ethnic’ people … who spoke different languages, who dressed funny, smelled funny but lived together. The husband and wife at the corner, from the Baltics, who gave us kids cookies on the way home from school. The dark skinned Italian women dressed all in black, ‘Ready at a moments notice to attend a funeral.’ Polish people, German people… Italian people … many who were immigrants or maybe first generation Americans.

Leksi Albert spoke of growing up in the 1940’s on the reservation. There weren’t any cars. There was no TV and a very few people even had a radio. People grew their food and shared their food with one another. They gathered at night to tell stories. The kids didn’t have much … but you see … it wasn’t about STUFF. It was about relationship. Albert would tell you that Coontz’s book didn’t apply to his childhood either. His Lakota “Leave it to Beaver’ was different than my, ‘Leave it to Beaver,” but the essence was the same. Relationship. Love. Safety. Family. Friends. Neighbors.

Then, in 1953, the United States Government said that it was now legal to sell and serve alcohol on the Reservations. And the beer trucks appeared. Albert reports that it was in 1953 when the Lakota people faced their second period of genocide. Self-inflicted? We can say that, sure. But before the white man invaded this country there was no such thing as alcoholism or diabetes. Beginning in 1953 a new wave of destruction hit the reservation.

You don’t NEED to kill a nation or a people’s with guns and bombs. You kill them by taking away their food, their safety, their health, their relationship to spirits … to friends … to neighbors … to family and to self. Kill them by driving them to loneliness and despair and self-inflicted violence. Break them apart and they can’t work together to stop you … YOU … you who was promised, Liberty and Justice for All. Teach them to hate their fellow countrymen. Divide them. Weaken them. Distract them.

Divide and conquer. Create despair and hopelessness. Tell so many lies that no one knows what is truth and what is fiction. ‘Real or Memorex.?"‘

Now, we have ‘alternate truth’. We are told, ‘fake news.’ And NOW, NOW, we have AI. ‘Was that real or was that AI?’ ‘It isn’t AI, it is SI.’ What? How can we have relationship when we don’t even know what is real, fake, truth, lie … when we keep changing the names and the playing field …. and when we don’t even know our neighbor’s name?’

1990
A terribly hot day on the Rosebud in South Dakota. After cutting logs by hand, building a fire, watching that fire … we all crawled into that lodge made of sticks, the floor of dirt and hit rocks about to be carried in. Joe Eagle Elk stiffly made his way in and with a ‘huff’ sat in place. One Latino guy (David), a group of Indian people and me … the whitest human on earth. (I’m surprised my given name wasn’t lightbulb instead of Rags.) Joe looked around, a smile on his face and he says to David and me. “Why do you guys come in here and sit in the dirt with us? Flys all over. Hot. You could be sitting in a nice pew, air conditioning, listening to a choir. What’s wrong with you?.. he laughed with love in his eyes. And the rocks were brought in.

I loved those people. I knew every one of their names. They had nothing. They had everything. Everything I owned, everything, was in my car. I had nothing. I had everything.

Not a non-sequitur….. let me show you a portion of Peter Hegseth’s speech from yesterday,

No more silly PowerPoint trainings or drag queen shows. No more diversity quotas, no more gender pronouns, no more identity months.

Only the warrior ethos. And I know you feel it, because I’ve been to your units and met with your troops. It has transformed entire formations as it was intended to do.

But it’s worth saying again, so that the Fake News understands it. We are no longer the Woke Department or the Weak Department.

Simple translation of that: No fatties. No trannies. No beardos. No weirdos. No wimps. No radicals.

Just warriors. Just tough, ready, committed troops. The War Department, as you know, is color-blind, gender-neutral, and merit-based. Or as the President says to me, “Pete … central casting. I want central casting.”

The ideological clowns are out. The patriotic cowboys are in — with testosterone testing on top.

Diversity is not our strength, unity is our strength. Because that’s all that really matters when the missiles are flying. The delusional media will downplay all the progress of the past year, but this group — right here — and I look forward to hearing from you all tomorrow morning as well — knows how real and how important culture change is has been.

But allow me to digress, briefly, to address that delusional media. You’re all here, and I’m here to talk to you but for a moment I’m going to talk to them and through them. To the fake news. To start, there’s a few headlines that they could run that they just haven’t gotten to. Guess what? In today’s War Department, military sexual assaults are down. In today’s War Department, military suicides are down. In today’s War Department, Black and female recruitment are up, even though all quotas are gone. Hmm, shocking. How could that be? Quite an inconvenient truth that doesn’t quite fit their narrative, does it? Not only is our force more ready and lethal, but it’s healthier than ever. Color-blind, gender-neutral, merit based. Everyone, of all shades, loves that.

Instead, you read disingenuous headlines about deployment lengths, patently false claims of low troop morale, or flat-out propaganda as if it’s written by our adversaries — and frankly, sometimes it is.

Take Iran, for example. Allow me to lay it out simply for the anti-American losers in our media: these Americans, right here, and their peers, these — have destroyed Iran’s Navy, destroyed Iran’s Air Force, destroyed their air defense systems, their leadership, and their military industrial capacity. Their entire defense base. Iran’s conventional shield has been crippled, and their nuclear ambitions laid bare for the world. You, this group, are ensuring that Iran never gets a nuclear weapon. Courageous and historic operations that every red-blooded American is proud of.

But, as you know, the information space … it’s a battle space. Yet our so-called press makes Iranian state media look reasonable. Our media’s shameful lust for political retribution blinds them to the consequences of reckless, so-called reporting. So-called journalists, juiced up on Trump derangement syndrome, think they’re fighting against our President, but they’re really undermining you, our warfighters. Bottom line: too many of them hate the President more than they love the country.

Sounds good heh? Let’s go kick some ass… wait….what? Conduct some research?

LIE ONE: Despite the single-year drop in 2024, the Pentagon noted that active-duty suicide rates have gradually increased overall since 2011, largely mirroring broader trends in the U.S. population

LIE TWO: Estimated active-duty prevalence of unwanted sexual contact dropped from 29,061 service members in FY23 (6.8% of women and 1.3% of men) down to lower levels in subsequent assessments, with active-duty past-year rates decreasing to 4.3% for women and 1.0% for men by FY25.

However, independent research and advocacy groups note that official numbers only capture a fraction of actual offenses, with some studies estimating real prevalence rates to be significantly higher than government figures due to underreporting and ongoing fears of retaliation.

LIE THREE: It is unlikely that Iran currently possesses a finished nuclear weapon, though it maintains the enriched materials and technology to build one if it chooses to do so.

LIE FOUR: Alcohol misuse is a significant and widespread problem in the military, whereas illicit drug use remains relatively low due to strict testing policies.Roughly 30% to 34% of active-duty service members report binge drinking. Alcohol is the most widely misused substance across all branches of the military and among veterans. Cultural and Coping Factors: Heavy drinking is often embedded in military social traditions, and many service members use alcohol to cope with combat stress, trauma, depression, and deployment isolation

LIE FIVE: Reports from media outlets and academic studies state that minority service members face racial slurs, micro-aggressions (small, everyday slights), and biased treatment from peers. A past workplace survey by the Pentagon found that over 30 percent of Black service members reported facing racial bias or harassment in a 12-month period. Surveys by Military Times also showed that more troops witnessed racism in recent years. The officer corps is mostly white (about 73%), and diversity drops lower at higher leadership levels. Investigations show that Black and Hispanic service members are more likely to face strict punishments or courts-martial (military trials) than white peers.

How to defeat a people. It has always been this way … break apart families and communities, destroy cultures, keep people uneducated, lie to the people and if you lie often enough they will believe you, create internal scape-goats …. and keep the power and wealth to yourself as you drug and lie to the people … who will die for you.

People are asking, “Why doesn’t Putin really fight back? Why are there no red lines?”

Hmmmmm …. thinking …. thinking …. ding ding ding …. ‘Because war keeps the people distracted, focuses their attention and ire on the enemy and because war makes the rich, richer.’ The filthy rich love war, support war … but don’t fight in the war.’

…. so I began this journey telling you about Leksi Albert White Hat. His memory of joy and family … his memory of how it was destroyed and who destroyed it … and then one day he and Joe Eagle Elk said to me,

‘Rags (Lightbulb) in your lifetime the world has the likelihood of coming to an end. What your race did to the Indian people is now happening to your people… (bad food, booze, disease, family break up, despair, war, suicide, lies, god-less-ness, violence, loneliness) … this doesn’t make us happy. We worry about you. Take what you are being taught and share it with your people. This will be difficult and most people won’t like you or hear you. No matter. This is your job now. Evil walks the earth. It is walking in your direction.’

So that is why I do this even though the audience is small. Even though people tire of the message and me. It is ok. I know what I know. And I’ve laid out what we must do to find peace again. To find happiness. To push the Beast away. The Beast is real. The sickness the Beast breathes on us is real.

Enough is enough. We must come together and end the beast soon. Or, the lying beasts will end us.

All my elders are dead now. They stand there … Watching. Waiting. Wondering.

What will you do? What will we do?

Mitakuye Oyasin

The people running the Iran war do not represent us.

Please watch this interview about the Irani children killed by the weapons YOU AND I paid for and the response by the demonic people who planned this war crime. ‘America’ purposely killed little girls and teachers and these un-people who don’t represent us have no remorse.

Hours earlier Vance said to the world, talks were in process. The day we purposely killed these children we claimed that the Irani’s killed their own children! Then we denied we killed them purposely….

… And, then, we double tapped the same area hours later when parents, medical people and other teachers were sifting through the debris to pick up body parts of children.

Would YOU do this?

Do you agree with this?

I doubt it…. 80% of Americans are sickened by this.

Trump and his blood riddled murders have to be removed …in any form that is efficacious. We are beyond believing that any judicial intervention, congressional edict or mid-term vote is going to change anything.

We now represent darkness and death … and horror to the rest of the world.

IAM NOT THAT.

ARE YOU?

ENOUGH …. END THESE DEMONS.

WE MUST END THIS.

You know what I wonder? I wonder if the technicians who planned the strike and those that pushed the button … and then pushed it again on the double tap … I wonder if their souls have remained in their bodies?

In my opinion, not possible.

Fatti non foste a viver come bruti
ma per sequir virtute e canoscenza

You were not made to live like brute beasts,
but to pursue virtue and knowledge.

(Inf. 26.119-20)

🕊️ Spiritual Destruction and Existential Crisis

The war has shattered the core beliefs that many individuals hold about the world, fairness, and human nature, leading to profound existential suffering.

Loss of Meaning and Faith: The sheer scale of violence and injustice has led many to experience a crisis of faith, questioning how a higher power or a moral universe could permit such widespread suffering.

The Shattering of “Just World” Beliefs: Individuals often lose the foundational spiritual belief that the world is inherently safe, predictable, and fair, leaving them with a sense of cosmic abandonment.

Moral Injury: Many soldiers and civilians grapple with severe moral injury—the psychological distress that results from witnessing or participating in actions that deeply violate their personal moral codes or ethical boundaries during the chaos of survival

💔 Emotional Destruction and Psychological Trauma

The emotional toll is pervasive, affecting both those on the front lines and civilians enduring constant displacement, bombardment, and loss.

Chronic Terror and PTSD: Millions of Ukrainians live under the constant threat of missile strikes, resulting in pervasive, baseline anxiety and widespread Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Complicated Grief and Bereavement: The abrupt, violent loss of family members, combined with the inability to hold traditional funerals or find closure, has left a legacy of deep, unresolved grief.

Separation and Isolation: The displacement of millions of refugees—predominantly women and children fleeing abroad while men remain behind—has fractured the core family unit, creating an enduring ache of loneliness and emotional estrangement.

🧠 Cognitive Destruction and Mental Exhaustion

The prolonged stress of living in a combat zone or facing total life disruption has severely impaired the population’s mental processing and cognitive functions.

“War Brain” and Hypervigilance: Continuous exposure to danger keeps the nervous system in a permanent fight-or-flight state. Over time, this chronic stress floods the brain with cortisol, damaging the prefrontal cortex and impairing memory, concentration, and emotional regulation.

Decision Fatigue and Burnout: For years, individuals have had to make daily, high-stakes decisions regarding safety, evacuation, finances, and survival. This has resulted in profound cognitive burnout and mental paralysis.

Developmental Stagnation in Children: For a generation of youth, cognitive development has been severely disrupted. The combination of disrupted schooling, lack of socialization, and constant fear has impaired language acquisition, emotional resilience, and executive functioning skills.

Sunken Ships

In the Black Sea, numerous naval vessels have been sunk, most notably the Russian missile cruiser Moskva. Historically, sunken naval vessels leak thousands of tons of fuel, chemical weapons, and heavy explosives. Marine researchers attribute the death of over 80,000 dolphins in the Black Sea directly to the deployment of military sonar, naval mines, and subsequent oil spills.

Blown Up Tanks & Military Scrap

The Ukrainian Ministry of Ecology reported that there are at least 527,000 tons of waste from destroyed military equipment resting on Ukrainian soil. This includes thousands of blown-up tanks, armored vehicles, and artillery systems that leave behind tons of oxidized scrap metal and heavy electronics.

Lead and Heavy Metals: A significant portion of ordnance relies on heavy metals. The detonation of millions of shells and bullets has deposited high concentrations of lead, mercury, zinc, copper, chromium, and cadmium directly into Ukraine’s agricultural topsoil.

Demolition and Infrastructural Waste: Russian airstrikes have targeted residential areas and industrial grids, damaging 70% of the energy infrastructure. In the liberated city of Kharkiv alone, the destruction of thousands of residential structures generated 350,000 cubic meters of highly hazardous demolition waste mixed with toxic plastics, copper wiring, and carcinogenic asbestos.

Ordnance, Radiation, and Chemical Footprint

Shells and Craters (”Bombturbation”): Intensive artillery duels have fundamentally altered the geography of the landscape. Over 400,000 massive artillery craters exist across the country. In a single 150-square-mile zone southeast of Kharkiv, scientists documented 30,000 shell craters, a phenomenon known as “bombturbation” which physically destroys soil profiles and makes land unculturable.

Chemical Contamination: Military activity has resulted in the burning of 687,000 tons of petrochemicals. Over 1,600 tons of highly toxic pollutants have leaked directly into rivers and groundwater basins. The targeting of agro-industrial warehouses and factories has unleashed catastrophic amounts of hazardous chemicals, including TNT, DNT, RDX, ammonia, and nitric acid.

A Missile Cemetery

Destroyed Drones and Their Fiber-Optic ‘Strings’

To maintain a continuous video link without radio frequencies, a single first-person view (FPV) drone can unspool anywhere from 5 to over 40 kilometers of ultra-thin cable during a flight. Because millions of kilometers of these strings are deployed monthly on active front lines, the environmental consequences are extensive:

Wildlife Traps & Ecosystem Disruption: The ultra-thin strings form massive, nearly invisible webs across the ground and tree canopies. Birds (particularly owls), bats, and small mammals easily become ensnared, leading to physical injury, limb amputation, exhaustion, or starvation. Scientists have noted that birds are now weaving these durable, synthetic cords directly into their nests.

Microplastics and Forever Chemicals: The cables are composed primarily of polymer optical fibers (POF-PMMA) and claddings that can contain PFAS “forever chemicals”. Exposed to heavy sunlight, artillery heat, and weather, these plastics break down into microplastics and nanoplastics. They accumulate in the soil, disrupt the microbiology of agricultural land, reduce moisture retention, and lower future crop yields.

Decades of Persistence: Unlike conventional organic materials or even standard metals, these specific polymer fibers are incredibly resilient and are estimated to persist in ecosystems for up to 600 years.

The Drone Body: Chemical Leaching and E-Waste

When these drones reach their destination or are shot down, the debris from the aircraft itself acts as a secondary pollutant:

Battery Toxins: Most combat and heavy commercial drones run on lithium-polymer or lithium-ion batteries. When ruptured on impact, they leak toxic metals such as lithium, cobalt, copper, and lead directly into local soils and groundwater networks.

Carbon Fiber Fragmenting: The physical frames, often engineered from carbon fiber or advanced composite plastics, split into rigid, non-degradable fragments that clog land and waterways.

Operational Complications of Fiber-Optics Strings

The physical presence of the unspooled string creates immediate operational hazards that delay ecological recovery:

Hindering De-mining Operations: The strings act like tripwires, easily wrap around the axles of mechanical mine-clearing vehicles, and can trigger unexploded ordnance if pulled. They also blind aerial survey drones used to locate mines.

Blocking Agricultural Machinery: Farmers attempting to cultivate post-conflict soil face severe disruptions when miles of plastic wire tangle inside heavy agricultural combines and tractors.

Impact of Burning Buildings, Equipment, Refineries

The heavy plumes of black smoke from incinerated industrial zones, fuel depots, military hardware, and urban centers have fundamentally altered regional atmospheric chemistry.

Atmospheric Toxicity & Acid Rain: Fuel and oil depot strikes (such as the massive fires at Kryvyi Rih) release localized, extreme concentrations of carbon monoxide (CO), sulfur dioxide (SO₂), volatile organic compounds, soot, and heavy metals. When these combine with atmospheric moisture, they fall back down as highly toxic “black acid rain,” poisoning ecosystems hundreds of miles away.

Carcinogenic and Asbestos Dust: The destruction of residential and commercial buildings pulverizes building materials. This releases massive quantities of asbestos and carcinogenic dust into the air currents, which eventually settle and contaminate local water basins and topsoil.

Severe Soil and Groundwater Poisoning: Toxic components from burnt military equipment, melted vehicle batteries, and industrial chemicals don’t just stay in the air. As the smoke precipitates and rain washes over combustion sites, heavy metals (such as lead, mercury, and cadmium) and explosive residues (like TNT and RDX) leach deeply into the ground, permanently ruining agricultural soil and poisoning underground aquifers.

Accelerated Climate Cost: Over the course of the conflict, burning infrastructure combined with war-induced forest fires have contributed over 311 million tonnes of CO₂ equivalent—matching the entire annual carbon footprint of a country like France.

Ecological Impact of Dead Animals

The war has claimed the lives of millions of domestic, agricultural, and wild animals, severely warping the natural biological balance of the region.

Spreading of Disease and Parasites: With thousands of livestock and companion animals killed or abandoned in active combat zones where veterinary services are suspended, decaying carcasses become breeding grounds for bacteria. This has triggered massive explosions of rabies and other zoonotic diseases among surviving wildlife populations.

Disruption of the Food Web: Mass mortalities have caused a profound imbalance in the food chain. While scavenger populations initially surge due to the abundance of carrion, the broader destruction of apex predators and smaller, vulnerable species (such as the steppe marmot or marbled polecat) risks regional extinctions.

Aquatic Ecosystem Collapse (Black Sea): The biological toll is especially severe in the marine environment. Military sonar and sea mines have resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of Black Sea dolphins. As these massive numbers of cetaceans die and decompose, it alters localized marine nutrient cycles and threatens the entire food web of the Black Sea.

Displaced Species and Stray Explosions: Surviving domestic animals (like stray dogs) have formed wild packs to survive, shifting the predatory dynamics against native wild fauna. Furthermore, surviving large wildlife (like the rare Przewalski’s horses) that flee active zones are frequently killed by the thousands of landmines scattered across Ukraine’s nature reserves.

Landmines

Ukraine is currently experiencing the most extensive explosive ordnance and landmine contamination challenge in the world, with roughly 25% of its territory (about 132,000 to 139,000 km²) at risk due to Russia’s full-scale invasion.

Scale and Contamination

Geographic Spread: About a quarter of the country is suspected of contamination, heavily concentrated in eastern regions (Kharkiv, Donetsk, Luhansk) and southern regions (Kherson, Mykolaiv, Zaporizhia).

Types of Hazards: Hazards include anti-personnel mines, anti-vehicle mines, cluster munition remnants, unexploded aerial ordnance, and improvised explosive devices (IEDs).

Inaccessible Zones: Around 18% of Ukrainian territory remains under occupation or inaccessible due to active hostilities, though over 41,000 km² have been returned to safe use.

Radiation Risks Spent Shells and Nuclear Plants

Nuclear Facilities and Power Plants

Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant (ZNPP): As Europe’s largest nuclear plant, its occupation and nearby military shelling present severe risks. According to the IAEA, the main dangers are repeated losses of off-site external power needed to run critical reactor cooling systems and potential damage to outdoor dry cask storage. All reactors have been placed in cold shutdown to lower risks, but emergency power remains essential.

Chernobyl Site: Military movement through the exclusion zone stirred up radioactive dust temporarily, but did not threaten the public. The core concern remains the cooling integrity of spent fuel storage pools rather than the ruined reactor structure itself.

Research and Waste Facilities: Sub-critical research facilities (such as the one in Kharkiv) and local radioactive waste storage sites risk localized damage from urban explosive weapons.

Spent Shells and Munitions

Depleted Uranium (DU) Shells: Some military munitions utilize depleted uranium for armor-piercing capabilities. Depleted uranium carries low-level radioactive and heavy-metal chemical toxicity risks, but international experts note that the immediate radiological hazard to the general public from unspent or spent DU fragments is minimal compared to conventional explosive hazards and heavy metal contamination in localized impact zones.

Total Ecological and Economic Outcome

The total cost of environmental destruction in Ukraine has reached a staggering $71 billion, with the State Environmental Inspectorate recording more than 6,500 individual environmental crimes.

Ecological CategoryQuantifiable Impact & DamageTotal Environmental Damage CostOver $71 billion USD estimated by Ukraine’s Ministry of Environment.Recovery Cost EstimateOver $85 billion USD according to a joint United Nations and World Bank assessment.Atmospheric Emissions180 million metric tons of CO₂ equivalent generated by fires, explosions, and military logistics.Protected EcosystemsOver 1.2 million hectares of nature reserves and 30% of protected areas severely damaged or active warzones.Agricultural LossAt least 20% of fertile farmland affected by mines, trenches, or heavy metal toxicities.Water CatastrophesThe 2023 collapse of the Nova Kakhovka Dam released 19.8 cubic kilometers of water, washing industrial chemicals, sewage, and thousands of landmines into the Black Sea ecosystem.

The long-term outcome is a deeply scarred European continent. Toxic heavy metals will continue to leach into Ukraine’s groundwater for generations, threatening both the domestic food supply and global agricultural safety. Scientists estimate that many of the targeted forests, steppes, and marine zones will require a absolute minimum of 15 to 30 years to recover

1. Soil Poisoning from Empty Shells and Ammunition

The millions of artillery shells, missiles, and drones fired across the country leave a toxic footprint known as “bombturbation”.

• Heavy Metal Leaching: Empty casings, unexploded ordnance, and fragments release heavy metals like lead, mercury, cadmium, and arsenic, alongside highly carcinogenic explosive compounds like TNT, DNT, and RDX into the ground. Depending on the soil’s pH and oxygen levels, these components can take 100 to 300 years to degrade, rendering agricultural soil toxic as plants absorb the pollutants.

• Harmful Propellants: Much of the older Soviet-era equipment used in the conflict relies on highly toxic propellants that immediately scorch and contaminate the surrounding topsoil.

  

2. Human Waste and the Collapse of Sewage Infrastructure

With the widespread destruction of critical civilian infrastructure—including over 160 wastewater and sewage treatment plants—the management of human waste has collapsed in active combat zones.

• Groundwater Contamination: Untreated raw sewage from combat lines and overwhelmed frontline settlements flows directly into the soil. This creates highly concentrated zones of nitrates, pathogens, and bacteria, which seep directly into the groundwater table. Since roughly 25% of Ukraine relies heavily on groundwater for drinking water, this poses an immediate public health crisis.

• Refugee Camps and Overload: The forced relocation of millions of people has created informal camps and overstrained municipal systems on the outskirts of cities, leading to a massive buildup of unregulated municipal and human waste.

  

3. Biological and Sanitary Risks of Decomposing Bodies

The sheer volume of casualties has resulted in hundreds of bodies left in trenches, active gray zones, or rushed mass graves.

• Liquefaction and Toxins: As human and animal remains transition through active decay, the bodily tissues liquefy, releasing organic compounds and high concentrations of nitrogen and phosphorus. While these are natural nutrients in small amounts, mass decomposition in localized areas overloads the soil, causing toxic runoff into nearby streams and shallow wells.

• Pathogen Spread: If bodies are located near active water sources, the bacteria from decomposition can introduce waterborne pathogens into the local supply, though the greater danger is the immediate physical contamination of localized topsoil.

  

4. Used Clothing and Modern Military Scrap

Modern military personnel carry an immense amount of synthetic gear, including nylon uniforms, plastic armor components, used chemical protective suits, and medical waste.

• Microplastics and Chemical Additives: Unlike the cotton or wool of historical wars, modern uniforms and gear do not readily decompose. Instead, they break down into microplastics that degrade soil structures and harm subterranean organisms. Many of these tactical fabrics are treated with flame retardants and water-resistant chemical coatings that bleed into the dirt.

• Vehicle Detritus: Over 600,000 tons of destroyed tanks and combat vehicles litter the terrain. This scrap continually leaks heavy fuels, toxic motor lubricants, and battery acids directly into the landscape.

  

5. Rubble and Hazardous Asbestos Dust

The destruction of towns and cities has generated tens of millions of tons of debris.

• Asbestos Emergency: A vast majority of older Ukrainian buildings were constructed using asbestos. When hit by artillery, these buildings pulverize into highly carcinogenic asbestos dust that blankets the soil, pollutes local air, and poses an incredibly dangerous challenge for hazardous-waste disposal and future reconstruction efforts.

  

  

  

Just three months after the 9/11/2001 attacks an editor at the Shambala Sun posted a stunning story concerning a non-violent sangha. The members of the sangha sought to understand how people could be so savage as to fly airplanes into the Twin Towers and Pentagon. A decision was made to hire a consultant, an expert, who could guide them through to such an understanding.

The ironic tale is both bizarre and telling. So bizarre that you will have trouble believing it. So telling, it makes one wonder about the human race’s willingness and ability to live non-violently.

The event described in the article below is a mirroring … a study of … human nature. It is a wake-up call imploring each of us to deeply and sincerely name, prioritize and live our values. What then, is at the root of the root of the root of our, your, behavior?

A Buddhist Brawl

by Richard Reoch

Not so long ago a brawl broke out in a Buddhist shrine room. A close friend of mine was involved. The retreat leader was injured and needed treatment. It all happened in a very lovely retreat centre near where I live.

They were having a weekend devoted to non-violence, and had invited a guest facilitator to lead the retreat. He wasn’t a Buddhist, but knew about group dynamics.

On the second day, the retreat leader proposed a role play. Two of the participants would be “kidnapped” by a terrorist group. The rest would have to negotiate for their freedom.

The retreat leader was to play the terrorist with whom they would negotiate. He opened a pack of cigarettes, took out a match and lit up.

“Excuse me,” said one of the participants, “there’s no smoking in the shrine room.”

The leader paid no attention. He smoked on in silence.

“Please put out the cigarette. We don’t smoke in the shrine room.”

“I don’t give a damn about your smoking rules,” said the ‘terrorist’ coldly. “Do you want to talk about smoking, or do you want your friends back?”

“We won’t negotiate with you until you respect our shrine room,” said someone who was emerging as a leader for their side.

“OK,” said the terrorist, “I’ll stop.” He stood up slowly, sauntered over to the shrine, took a last puff and stubbed out his cigarette in the lap of the buddha.

Gasps filled the room. This was no longer play acting. People rushed up to see if the buddha rupa had been damaged.

“What do you think you’re doing?” someone shouted. “That’s a buddha!”

“I don’t give a damn. It’s not my buddha. This is not my shrine room. I’ve stopped smoking. Do you want to talk about your friends or shall I leave?”

People were irate. Events were overtaking them. No one wanted to talk about the hostages; they were obsessed with the assault on the buddha.

One person went up to the retreat leader and talked to him straight from the heart. “We invited you here to lead this weekend. We know this isn’t your community or your tradition. But this is our sacred space. All we ask is that you honour that.”

“Would you like to see how much I respect your space?” he replied. He walked over to the corner and pissed on the floor.

The whole room lunged forward. The first person to reach him knocked him to the ground. The rest joined in, shouting, beating and kicking him as he curled up on the floor to protect himself from the blows.

Eventually he managed to drag himself out of the shrine room, told the two “hostages” to rejoin their fellow practitioners and abandoned the weekend.

Friends, this is the way these events were told to me. In these dark and turbulent times, I often find it helpful to remember them.

Go to Gaza. Stand in the streets as a unified group and scream out to the Zionist Jews and to Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Quan Yin, Guan Am, Buddha, Yahweh, Gaia …

STOP IN THE NAME OF HUMANITY AND ALL THAT IS GOOD …

BUT THEY WON’T. NO ONE WILL.

AND ALL WILL BE PUNISHED

LOST IN THE CYCLE OF THE BEAST