Transcript:

Cousin: — Oh well, here it is… the National Day of Unmet Expectations!
Cousin: — How is one supposed to celebrate that?
Rat: — Just like we celebrate every other end of the world, I guess.

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Transcript:

Cousin: — There’s something at the end of the tunnel but it’s so dark I can’t see what it is.
Rat: — Let’s check.
Rat: — Oh.
[Sign] BRING YOUR OWN LIGHT -management

Perhaps energy has been diverted to power data centers.

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Transcript:

Cousin: — So… now that “daylight saving time” is over...
Cousin: — What time is it now?
Rat: — Daylight craving time?

CWCID: the internet says someone has made this joke before.

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Transcript:

Robot: — ...as the next step towards world domination, we’ll venture into design. It’s just pattern matching, after all.
Robot: — I think we can dominate the fashion business.
Cousin: — The robot has no clothes.

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Rat was slacking in September, so here are two months at once.

Time machine to August 2026

Transcript:

Human: — Come on, Rats. You already had some treats an hour ago.
Rat: — Those were daylight saving treats. We turned the clock back, and now we want more.
Human: — Well, maybe if you promise not to turn it any further...

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Trranscrript:

Crow: — Extrraorrdinarry offerr! Migrrate to warrmerr weatherr!
Rat: — I notice you’re in no rush to fly away yourself.
Crow: — Orrganizerrs arre rrequirred everrywherre!

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Transcript:

Human: — Rats… do you seriously expect me to believe that the government came and took all the cheese?
Rat: — Just look what was left behind.
Human: — Hmm… “processing fee”, “late delivery penalty”… it indeed looks like government did it!

If you ever want to impersonate the government, adding insult to injury is an absolutely essential part.

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Transcript:

Cousin: — Come on, Rat. Where’s meat?
Rat: — I did everything according to this old cookbook.
Rat: — See here: “take ten cents worth of lean meat…”

Listing ingredients by price was indeed common practice in many countries until around 1913. I wonder what happened.

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These are probably the last few moderately warm days in our parts.

Transcript:

Rat: — Ultimately, government is the real reason we have these nice things.
Human: — Come on, Rat. Are you saying that, without a government, we wouldn’t even have simple nice things such as this grill?
Rat: — Yes, of course. We’d have other, nicer things.

It’s all relative, and humans always find a silver lining; but government can push you so low that a free donut seems nice enough.

CWCID: inspired by:

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Transcript:

Rat: — I think you should do that thing today, for it may soon be taxed or banned altogether.
Human: — What exactly are you talking about?
Rat: — Well, these days about pretty much anything.

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Transcript:

Rat: — I decided I need to get more sleep in order to spend less money.
Cousin: — Great idea! You can’t buy anything while you’re asleep.
Rat: — It didn’t quite work. You see, the printing press never sleeps.

P.S. Rat isn’t actually late today, it’s just that Europe gets off DST a week earlier.

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Transcript:

Crow: — New! Defeat your cheese addiction in a single session!
Rat: — Come on, this just can’t be true.
Crow: — Discounts for return customers!

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Transcript:

Rat: — I’m so tired of this noise coming from the election campaign.
Cousin: — It’s our neighbor’s leaf blower.
Rat: — How exactly, at this point, does one tell the difference?

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Transcript:

Cousin: — So, humans had all of thermodynamics figured out by the year 1900?
Rat: — Yes, but we can still make valuable observations.
Cousin: — For example?
Rat: — A system will ignore rising entropy until it hits the fan.

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Transcript:

Human: — I think I need to cut my screen time, I’m starting to see “blue screens of death” in real life.
Blue Screen of Death: — No reason to worry.
Blue Screen of Death: — We’re having a surveillance evasion drill.

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Transcript:

Rat: — Help! Let me out of here!
Cousin: — Another nightmare about being chased by journalists?
Rat: — Worse… I was a news editor and had to herd them.

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Transcript:

Rat: — Today, we start learning about the government...
Cousin: — There is nothing on the blackboard.
Rat: — ...and the first lesson is: “Reasons why we need a government.”

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Transcript:

Rat: — There is some late-stage democracy going on.
Cousin: — Does it always have to end this way?
Rat: — No, only if the demos grows too big.

It breaks down when too many humans start believing themselves to be a part of the ruling (or at least privileged) class. One can’t give humans sine cure education and expect them not to want sine cure jobs and sine cure everything.

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Transcript:

Cousin: — I no longer believe the newspapers, this just can’t be true!
Rat: — So you finally figured it out. What was it?
Cousin: — Four million dollars mysteriously appeared in the local budget. Appeared, Rat!

This actually happens from time to time, but usually turns out to be just an accounting error.

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