On today's episode of The Mom Room, Renee admits she avoids opening her bank account all year till she is forced to face her accountant. Which is why Alli is here to make the dreaded finance conversations easier to approach. Alli walks Renee through where to start, why food and online shopping are where most families overspend, and why every couple needs separate fun money accounts. She explains the 30-day money audit that separates facts from feelings and how you can plan for unexpected costs so they are no longer unexpected (vet bills, Christmas, sports registrations).

Check out Alli's 12-week program, Flourish FinanciALLI, plus her free monthly class, freebies and blog:

https://stan.store/financiallifocused

FOLLOW ALLI

Financialli Focused: https://www.instagram.com/financiallifocused

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RENEE REINA  

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In this paid exclusive, I’m sharing how a night I’d been looking forward to turned into a family meltdown, and why I ended up walking the dogs in tears before watching approximately 90 episodes of Love Is Blind in bed.

I’m talking honestly about losing my temper, the frustration of parenting advice that doesn’t cover what happens when your kid just says “no,” and the conversation we had the next day to repair things. Plus, the advice I got from ChatGPT that I really wish I’d had before we were standing at the front door.

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Then I'm into the everyday chaos: a house seemingly run by spiders, a meatloaf mystery, school uniforms that don’t stand a chance, and a shower renovation courtesy of my husband. Plus, what I’m reading, what I'm watching, and the mudroom closet makeover I cannot wait for.

A little motherhood, a little midlife, and a lot of “please tell me this happens at your house, too.”

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Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

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When scaffolding from the building next door covered her house for almost three years, Kristi hung pink flowers over the front door just to make herself happier. Then people started stopping to take pictures. Renee and Kristi talk about choosing the city over the suburbs, why she and her husband build every stoop themselves with their kids, the couples who now propose on her steps, and a Halloween night that went through 18,000 pieces of candy and 2,000 Lego kits by 7:30! Kristi also admits she still gets the ick saying the word influencer at a school cocktail party.

Follow along with the stoop: @stoopandthecity

Follow Kristi: @khemric

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Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

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RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

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Facebook Community - The Mom Room Community 

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

That’s pretty much where I’m at with working for myself right now. I love being a podcaster. I have so many ideas for The Mom Room and what I want it to become. But the gap between having an idea and actually making it happen is filled with expenses, technical issues, and jobs I never realized I was signing up for. Sometimes I sit down at my desk so excited to get started, and by the time I close my laptop, I haven’t done a single thing I intended to do. Somehow, I’ve been busy the entire time.

People talk a lot about how much money creators and podcasters make, but I rarely hear anyone talk about how much it costs to keep the whole thing running. I’m not even a “big” creator/podcaster, and my business expenses in 2025 were over $100,000. That doesn’t include the 20% my management takes from social partnerships or the 50% my management takes from podcast ad revenue.

I know what you’re thinking. “What could you POSSIBLY have to spend money on as a creator/podcaster?”

We’ll get into that. Because I also know the next question might be, “If you’re spending that much money, how are you still doing so much by yourself?” Believe me. I ask myself that, too.

There are parts of this business I haven’t really talked about publicly. Like paying for help that produces incredible growth, then having to admit that the growth isn’t translating into the income you need to keep paying for it. Or realizing that the work making you money is taking up the time you wanted to spend on the work you actually love. Then trying to decide what deserves another investment, what you need to let go of, and whether you’re giving up on something too soon or finally making a sensible business decision.

These are decisions I’m still struggling with TODAY. I’m writing this with unfinished plans, things I still can’t figure out, and a daily-show dream I keep coming back to. I want to share what I’ve spent, what happened when I paid for help, why I pulled back from growing The Mom Room Instagram account, and how I’ve ended up feeling stuck in a job I genuinely love.

Because the question I’m trying to answer right now is uncomfortable: how much more time and money am I willing to put into The Mom Room to find out what it could become… and what happens if I don’t?

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In this solo episode of The Mom Room, I’m recapping our recent hosted family trip to Walt Disney World and sharing the things first-time visitors might not expect. We’re talking surprisingly good food, entertainment that goes way beyond the rides, easy transportation, mobile food ordering, and the little details that make the experience fun for adults, too.

I also answer your questions about adding a park visit before a Disney cruise, character dining, and our favourite moments, including the ride that left Milo and me absolutely soaking wet. Whether you’re planning your first Disney World vacation or wondering why people are so obsessed, this episode will help you understand the hype.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!

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Cozy Earth: Head to https://cozyearth.com and use my code MOMROOM for an exclusive 20% off home and sleepwear.

Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

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RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

But there was a pretty significant part of the book that I left out: sexuality.

I didn’t intentionally leave this topic out. I just didn’t think it was necessarily important at this stage in my parenting journey. I couldn’t relate to it or understand it as easily as the other topics, so I focused on the things that felt more applicable to our lives right now. Sexuality and porn felt like subjects for a future version of me to deal with. And even then, it’s one of those topics that you think “oh, this won’t be an issue in our house.” And, if we were going to talk about it, surely I had a ton of time before I needed to get into all of that. And, hopefully by the time it’s a relevant topic for us, the world has changed and social media, porn, and all those topics won’t even be an issue anymore (HA… as if… that is wishful thinking).

There is also something comforting about deciding a topic doesn’t apply to you yet. It’s almost like a defense mechanism. The topics of porn and sexuality and navigating that with your child is a stressful and uncomfortable thing to think about. So, if we say it doesn’t apply to us… those feelings become non-existent. Then we’re able to acknowledge that it’s an important topic without having to spend too much time thinking about what it means for your own family. Kind of like… this is important but mostly for other people. I read the chapters on sexuality, but I didn’t really digest the information the same way I did with the other parts of the book.

Then I recorded an entire episode on The Mom Room about “raising conscious sons” and the major takeaways from the book and I completely ignored the sexuality chapters and topics.

At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. In my mind, I assumed my listeners were in similar parenting situations as me and that those topics wouldn’t be relevant to them either. But now I’m pissed at myself. Now, I realize that leaving out those topics is part of the problem when it comes to raising boys. Did I leave those topics out of my book review because they weren’t relevant to me, or because I was uncomfortable reading about them and even more uncomfortable talking about them? AND EVEN MORE UNCOMFORTABLE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT WE NEED TO TALK TO OUR SON ABOUT THEM!

The Raising Conscious Sons Episode

It was literally TWO DAYS later that I came across the Cornell 7 story. It was a Sunday evening and I came across an Instagram carousel post from Florence Pugh. I read through it and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard about it. So, I researched further and read more. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I recorded a raw and vulnerable solo episode on The Mom Room where I talked about how this story had affected me as a mom of an 8-year-old boy. All the questions I had as a mom.

“How does this happen?”

And then it all clicked. I kept thinking back to the sexuality chapters in Dr. Shefali’s book. The chapters I had read more quickly than the others. The chapters I didn’t bother to reflect upon or review in my episode.

As a mom raising a boy, I kept asking myself how young men get to a place where another person’s body, safety, and dignity can matter so little. I just knew that if you asked any of the parents of the Cornell 7 boys if their son would ever be capable of doing something like this… they would all say “never!”

Many of us parents probably thought to ourselves “my son would never do this” while we were learning about the story and seeing people’s commentary on it online. It is comforting for us to think that these boys are SO DIFFERENT from our own children. “There must have been something terribly wrong in their homes growing up.” “They were definitely not raised properly.” “Clearly they have major issues!” And while we don’t know what these young men were taught at home, we don’t know how they were raised, we don’t know what conversations were had around sexuality, consent, empathy, and porn. But, what I do know is that “my son would never do this” suddenly felt like a statement I needed to examine more closely.

I had just read a book that asked me to think more deeply about raising a son, including parts of his life that I find difficult to imagine or talk about. Then I picked the topics I felt comfortable discussing and left the rest out. Now I was reading the Cornell 7 story and asking why we aren’t having these conversations more openly, when I had literally just avoided having one myself.

The Cornell 7 Episode

I talk about motherhood and parenting for a living. I have a platform where I can bring up the things we struggle with, question the things we’ve been taught, and have conversations that might not come up at school pickup. I had read the book. I had the opportunity. And I still managed to do an entire recap without getting into a significant part of what Dr. Shefali was asking parents to think about.

That’s what I mean when I say my silence/avoidance of the sexuality chapters is part of the problem. So, what are the main takeaways in Dr. Shefali’s book when it comes to sexuality?

• Bodies and sexual feelings need to be discussed without shame. Dr. Shefali encourages parents to help boys understand their bodies and sexuality.

• Consent and respect require explicit teaching. She specifically discusses teaching what consent looks like and respecting a partner.

• Boys need room to develop beyond rigid masculine roles. Her guidance includes allowing boys to be themselves rather than perform a prescribed version of masculinity.

• Pornography belongs in the parenting conversation. In interviews about her work, she raises concerns about pornography becoming a source of sexual learning when meaningful adult guidance is absent.

• Healthy sexuality sits alongside accountability. Her discussion of conscious masculinity emphasizes responsibility, empathy, and examining one’s own behaviour instead of externalizing blame.

This epiphany made me think about what I’m actually going to do NOW. I could write this article, acknowledge that I avoided an uncomfortable topic, and then go right back to avoiding it. I don’t want this to be something I reflected on but never followed through on.

First, I’m going to go back to those chapters and give them the attention I didn’t give them the first time. I also want my husband to read those chapters. Then I want us to have a conversation about what we want our son to understand about his body, relationships, consent, and other people’s boundaries? I don’t want us to assume we’re on the same page simply because we both want to raise a kind, respectful person. I want us to actually discuss what teaching those things looks like as he grows.

I want to have these conversations with friends who are raising kids, too. We talk about school, sports, friendships, screens, and behaviour all the time. I want to be able to ask, “Have you thought about how you’re going to talk about porn?” without feeling like a weirdo. Yes, it will be super awkward! But I’m hoping these uncomfortable conversations will make us feel less alone in figuring this out. I doubt I’m the only parent who doesn’t know where to start, and if we’re all waiting for someone else to bring it up, we could be waiting a very long time. I’d rather have an awkward conversation with a friend now than keep putting it off until something happens that forces us to have it.

With my son, I want to be more intentional about making room for age-appropriate conversations and questions as they come up. I want him to know he can ask me something without having to manage my embarrassment or worry that he’s going to get in trouble for being curious. That means paying attention to my reactions, too. It’s easy to say, “You can talk to me about anything.” I want to think about whether the way I respond makes that feel true.

I am definitely going to record another solo episode of The Mom Room specifically about the topics I left out!! I want to go back, prepare, and have the conversation I wasn’t ready to have the first time. I’ll be talking about it as a regular mom who read something important, recognized a blind spot, and wants to understand it better.

I’m sure there will be moments when I stumble over my words or worry about whether I’m saying things “properly".” Oh well! I don’t want to keep avoiding topics because I’m worried I won’t say the “right thing” or I’m not educated enough, or I’m uncomfortable.

When I recorded that first episode reviewing Dr. Shefali’s book, I thought I was choosing the parts of the book that mattered MOST to my parenting. Now I’m realizing that the parts I skimmed over and left out are the ones I need to work on, talk about, learn about, and take action on.

What part of talking to your kids about sexuality feels hardest to you? Is it knowing when to start, figuring out what to say, or getting past your own discomfort?

I would really like us to be able to talk about it.

Thank you so much for reading!

Renee

Sam Kelly, creator and author of Notice and Do, joins Renee to dismantle the cycle of unequal domestic labor. They discuss the frustration of acting as the family's default manager and why waiting for a partner to notice needs is not a sustainable long-term solution. Instead of continuing to carry the invisible workload, Sam outlines a practical framework for empowering children to own their household responsibilities. From noticing garbage on the floor to managing laundry cycles, Sam explains how even young toddlers can learn to see what needs to be done. They discuss why this is a direct path to raising empathetic, capable children and how to initiate these shifts when you are already feeling burned out and overwhelmed.

Pre-order Sam's new book Notice and Do wherever you buy your books and follow her at @samkelly_world.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!

AquaOmega: For your daily dose of Omega-3's, go to myaquaomega.com/MOMROOM and use code MOMROOM for 20% off.

Cozy Earth: Head to https://cozyearth.com and use my code MOMROOM for an exclusive 20% off home and sleepwear.

Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

HIYA: Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/MOMROOM.

Oak Essentials: Use code MOMROOM at oakessentials.com to get 15% OFF your first purchase!

Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/MOMROOM. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Skims Undergarments: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at http://www.skims.com/momroom #skimspartner

Wayfair: Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home.

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RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

TikTok: @thereneereina  

Facebook Community - The Mom Room Community 

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever completely lost your patience with your kids, reacted in a way you immediately regretted, and then spent the rest of the day feeling like the worst mom in the world?

You're definitely not alone.

In this listener favourite episode of The Mom Room, Renee revisits one of the most relatable and least talked about experiences in motherhood: mom rage.

Inspired by the book Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood by Minna Dubin, Renee breaks down the five phases of the mom rage cycle, from the slow buildup of frustration and overwhelm to the emotional explosion, the shame that follows, and the importance of repairing with our children.

She also shares a very personal experience involving a bedtime battle with Milo that left her feeling overwhelmed, angry, and incredibly guilty the following morning.

Why do moms sometimes feel an anger they've never experienced before having children? Why can we handle the exact same parenting situation calmly one day and completely lose it the next? And why are we so quick to focus on the moments we lose our patience while forgetting the hundreds of times we managed to keep it together?

This episode is an honest conversation about the mental load of motherhood, emotional regulation, parenting triggers, maternal anger, mom guilt, and why repairing with our children matters so much.

Because being a good mom doesn't mean never getting angry. It means recognizing our emotions, taking responsibility for our reactions, and continuing to learn and grow.

If you've ever lost your temper with your kids and felt terrible afterward, this episode is for you.

Listen, share it with a mom who needs to hear it, and remember that these are conversations worth having.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In my first exclusive solo episode for paid Substack subscribers, I’m unpacking something I’ve been trying to understand about myself: my instinct to respond publicly when s…

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Renee and Craig discuss why so many kids carry bullying alone instead of telling their parents, how to be the safe space your child actually opens up to, and what to teach the kids who see bullying happen and aren’t sure what to do. Craig also shares how being bullied shaped him as an adult, from feeling misunderstood to dealing with online hate as a reality TV star, and why he believes happy people don’t write mean things on the internet.

Grab a copy of Patch Work: Bee Brave. Bee Kind. Bee You.

https://a.co/d/08C3sGYL

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!

AquaOmega: For your daily dose of Omega-3's, go to myaquaomega.com/MOMROOM and use code MOMROOM for 20% off.

Cozy Earth: Head to https://cozyearth.com and use my code MOMROOM for an exclusive 20% off home and sleepwear.

Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

HIYA: Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/MOMROOM.

Oak Essentials: Use code MOMROOM at oakessentials.com to get 15% OFF your first purchase!

Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/MOMROOM. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Skims UndergarmentsWayfair: Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home.

Zenni: Go to zenni.com/PODCAST and use code PODCAST15 for 15% OFF your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65.

RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

TikTok: @thereneereina  

Facebook Community - The Mom Room Community 

Youtube: Renee Reina - The Mom Room Podcast 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Typical definition of egocentrism: Perceiving the world and interpreting things from your own personal vantage point.

My Definition of “Mom Egocentrism”: When a mom judges another mom’s choices based on her own personal experiences, mental states, goals, beliefs, preferences, and biases.

Common topics in the mom-world that often trigger egocentrism:

• breastfeeding vs. formula feeding

• sleep training vs. not sleep training

• daycare vs. no daycare

• baby-led weaning vs. pureés

• screen time vs. no screen time

• co-sleeping vs. crib

• c-section vs. vaginal

I was listening to a podcast the other day (a long time ago) and they were talking about racism. Specifically, they were stressing the importance of putting your ego away when having conversations about racism. They suggested coming from a place of empathy instead. When they said this, I literally paused the podcast and just drove in silence on my way to pick up Milo. I couldn’t stop thinking about how this advice and way of communicating is so needed in the mom community as well.

When it comes to egocentrism, there is a huge range in the ability one has to step outside their own perspective to see things from another’s viewpoint. It can also vary from topic to topic. When I originally wrote this in 2020, the big topic that week was breastfeeding and formula feeding. It’s not a secret that people have different perspectives on how “best” to feed a baby. Women feel shamed and judged for breastfeeding, and women feel shamed and judged for formula feeding. You literally cannot win no matter what you do.

After reading so many women’s feeding stories, I couldn’t understand how someone could tell another mom “breast is best” or “formula is best”. While listening to this podcast, my brain nearly exploded once I realized that it is classic egocentrism. We love to assume why another mom is doing something without acknowledging or understanding why. We assume their situation looks the same as ours because we are unable to see it any other way. It appears to me that many moms lack the ability to empathize with other moms. Why is this happening? I will tell you why.

Another mom making a different choice than us can feel like she is saying something about our choices. She tells you she doesn’t sleep train and suddenly you feel like you need to explain why you did. She tells you she breastfeeds and you find yourself giving her your entire feeding history because you formula-fed. But did she actually ask you to defend yourself? Or have we become so used to being judged that we hear judgment even when someone is just telling us what they do or did?

In short, when we feel anxious or shame about something (i.e., breastfeeding) and then someone questions us about that thing (i.e., a family member asking when we are going to wean the baby), OR another mom does something differently (i.e., formula feeds), we get defensive and reactive. Now, that reaction can be internal (you can curse your family member or judge the formula-feeding mom), or it can be overt. But, why do we initially have this anxiety or shame about something like feeding our freaking child? Well, you can blame messages from the media, non-supportive health care professionals, non-supportive family members, strangers that give you funny looks in public while we feed our babies and, the list can go on and on. We internalize these messages and develop our own biases, shame, and guilt.

It is a vicious cycle that can be applied to almost every god damn decision we need to make as moms and as families.

And the frustrating part is that we can understand how awful it feels to be on the receiving end and still turn around and do it to someone else. We want people to understand our circumstances, our reasons, and what we were dealing with when we made a decision. Then another mom makes a decision we wouldn’t make and suddenly all of that context goes out the window. We’ve decided we know enough about her because we know what worked for us.

An example of the vicious cycle:

Mom internalizes all the mixed messages surrounding formula feeding and constantly questions whether what she is doing is right (even though rationally she KNOWS breastfeeding was not right for her situation and formula feeding is going great).

Mom feels guilt/shame/anxiety around her decision to formula feed her baby.

When another mom asks if her baby has had ear infections because she “knows” that formula-fed babies typically get ear infections, she responds “no” and gets defensive.

As a result of being defensive she goes into why formula feeding is better than breastfeeding (my baby is fuller longer, sleeps longer through the night, my partner can feed the baby during the night and bond with him, I’m not stuck at home, etc.). And now the breastfeeding mom feels shame.

REPEAT OVER AND OVER FOR EVERY TOPIC RELATED TO BEING A MOM UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

The formula-feeding mom shouldn’t have to convince anyone that formula feeding is better in order to feel okay about her decision. And the breastfeeding mom shouldn’t have to walk away feeling like she needs to defend hers. We keep trying to make one choice the winner because we think that will finally let us feel good about our own. Meanwhile, we are just handing the guilt to another mom.

Your experience can be completely valid without becoming the standard that every other mom has to meet. Maybe breastfeeding was great for you. Maybe sleep training saved your sanity. Maybe staying home was exactly what you wanted. Great! You can share that experience without assuming another mom has the same baby, support, finances, mental health, or preferences that you do.

Don’t EVALUATE another mom’s situation. Listen. Understand. SUPPORT.

And support shouldn’t depend on whether you would have made the same choice. If a mom has to explain every detail of her life before you decide her decision is acceptable, she is still being evaluated. She is just being given the opportunity to plead her case.

Before you respond to another mom, ask yourself what you are actually reacting to. Is it something she said? Or is it the guilt you already feel about your own decision? Because making her feel worse isn’t going to fix that. We know how exhausting it is to feel like every parenting decision needs an explanation. Why are we making each other do it?

I originally talked about this in Episode 13 of The Mom Room (way back in the day). And I think it’s a conversation we need to keep having.

Listen to the Episode

XOXO Renee Reina

In this solo episode of The Mom Room, Renee shares the symptoms she’s been experiencing that she associates with perimenopause, from dry eyes and itchy ears to ringing ears, night sweats, and increasingly sensitive skin. She also chats about her struggles with dermatitis around her mouth, the skincare product she’s been loving, and why switching up her shampoo has left her regretting her choices.

Then, Renee gets into an epiphany that’s changing how she thinks about family travel. When a short trip to New York costs as much as several nights at an all-inclusive, it’s easy to choose the longer vacation. But are more nights away always more valuable than a new experience your family is genuinely excited about?

From wanting to take Milo to see Aladdin on Broadway to planning a tennis-filled trip to Palm Springs, Renee talks about choosing vacations around your family’s interests, making meaningful memories, and looking beyond the usual “more bang for your buck” calculation. Plus, the desert discovery that quickly made her rethink an Airbnb.

A candid conversation about perimenopause, life at 41, and figuring out what we actually want from our time away.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Renee shares what happened when her sister’s service dog, Van, went missing in North Bay, Ontario, and how she helped from hours away. From targeted Instagram ads and local news outreach to missing dog posters and community groups, she breaks down the ways she rallied support, and why the tears really started AFTER Van was found safe.

Then, a scary encounter with a reckless driver while Milo was in the car leads to a call to the police and a conversation about doing the right thing. How do we teach our kids to speak up when someone is putting others in danger or being bullied? Sometimes, those parenting conversations happen when we least expect them.

Plus: Renee reveals her Disney Halloween costume, reminisces about her favourite sitcoms, and gets distracted by Backstreet Boys tickets. Just a regular day in The Mom Room.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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In this solo episode of The Mom Room, Renee is talking about the story commonly being referred to online as the “Cornell 7” allegations involving a female Cornell student and multiple male students and why she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

But this episode isn’t just about what allegedly happened at Cornell. It’s about the much bigger question the story has raised for Renee as the mom of an eight-year-old boy: How do we raise boys who grow into men who would never participate in something like this, or stand by while it happens?

After recently reading Raising Conscious Sons by Dr. Shefali, Renee has been thinking a lot about the conversations parents have with boys, and, maybe more importantly, the ones we avoid because they make us uncomfortable.

Consent. Sex. Pornography. Masturbation. Respect. Sexual urges. How you treat girls and women. What you do when your friends are doing something wrong. And why leaving boys to figure all of this out on their own is not good enough.

Renee talks about her anger over the allegations and institutional response, the questions the story has raised for her as a parent, and why she believes parents of young boys need to start having uncomfortable conversations long before their sons become teenagers or young men.

There are no easy answers in this episode. It’s an emotional, unfiltered conversation from a mom trying to figure out what we can do differently, because simply hoping we’re raising “good boys” isn’t enough.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:

AquaOmega: For your daily dose of Omega-3’s, go to myaquaomega.com/MOMROOM and use code MOMROOM for 20% off.

Fatty15: Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/MOMROOM and using code MOMROOM at checkout.

Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

HIYA: Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/MOMROOM.

Merit Beauty: Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag FREE with your first order at meritbeauty.com.

Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/MOMROOM. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Skims: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces, at https://skims.com/momroom.

Wayfair: Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. 

RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

TikTok: @thereneereina  

Facebook Community - The Mom Room Community 

Youtube: Renee Reina - The Mom Room Podcast 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tina Anderson, co-founder of Just Thrive, mom of three and brand new grandmother, joins The Mom Room to share how she went from litigation to the pharmaceutical world to building a probiotic company focused on root causes instead of symptoms.

Renee and Tina get into what spore-based probiotics are and how they differ from what's on the grocery store shelf, why Tina says not to get caught up in CFU numbers, and how stress, antibiotics and ultra-processed foods affect the gut. They also cover gut health on a GLP-1, the new Just Thrive Digestive Bitters, the gut and perimenopause connection, and Renee's very relatable September stress spiral.

This episode is in partnership with Just Thrive. Start a 90-day Just Thrive probiotic subscription and get a free 90-day supply of their new Digestive Bitters (a $90 value). Claim it at justthrivehealth.com/momroom. Every order is backed by Just Thrive's 100% money-back guarantee.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:

AquaOmega: For your daily dose of Omega-3’s, go to myaquaomega.com/MOMROOM and use code MOMROOM for 20% off.

Fatty15: Get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/MOMROOM and using code MOMROOM at checkout.

Freestyle: Get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at freestyle.world/MOMROOM with code MOMROOM. That's a full month of premium diapers delivered to your door for just $49/month for your first 3 months.

HIYA: Receive 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/MOMROOM.

Merit Beauty: Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag FREE with your first order at meritbeauty.com.

Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/MOMROOM. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Skims: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces, at https://skims.com/momroom.

Wayfair: Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. 

RENEE REINA  

Instagram: @themomroom | @thereneereina  

TikTok: @thereneereina  

Facebook Community - The Mom Room Community 

Youtube: Renee Reina - The Mom Room Podcast 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No, I’m not quitting anything.

I’m not quitting social media. I’m not quitting podcasting. I’m not going to stop brand collabs. I’ll still be in comments and DMs (but, probably less). I LOVE creating content. I LOVE podcasting. I LOVE partnering with incredible brands. I LOVE the community I’ve built online. The opportunities this job has given not only me but, my family… has been truly unbelievable and I am forever grateful that this has become my career.

So many people talk about the money they make online… not enough people talk about the OPPORTUNITIES!

But, something has definitely changed for me over the last year. Many of you have probably noticed. I’ve talked about it on The Mom Room. Basically, my life was my job and my job was my life. Down to the clothes I would wear, the “friend” groups I fell into, how I would spend my time “off the clock".” It’s funny to say “off the clock” because when your life is work, you have no “off the clock".” I decided I want to do my job, and then I want to put my phone down and live my actual life without thinking about creating content (working) 24/7. I’ve realized I can live my life and share about it and talk about it without sharing about it and talking about it in REAL TIME.

The accidental influencer.

Unlike most kids today, I didn’t grow up thinking I wanted to be a “YouTuber” or “Influencer.” That didn’t exist when I was growing up. I remember being a child and getting this thing called “the internet.” We had to dial into it and no one could use the landline phone when anyone else was on the internet. I remember searching “Cindy Crawford” and it took so long to download an image of her that I would go play outside for a bit, go back in and check where the photo was at, and repeat. LOL!

Before I started posting regularly online and sharing my actual life and thoughts, etc., I was a typical Instagram user. I followed Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga and other traditional celebrities. I didn’t even know influencers were a thing until I became one, LOL. In 2018, after I had Milo, I started blogging! Do you believe it? Basically my friends and family would read blogs and I would share quotes and link on my Instagram. At the time, I was finishing up my PhD in psychology and started tinkering with TikTok. I didn’t even know how to use it. It was so bad for a while and I was way too concerned with how I looked and sounded in videos.

Then I decided that my new years resolution for 2020 would be to just post and not care about what I looked like or sounded like. And guess what? My account started growing. Videos went viral.

I finished my PhD in March 2020. Three days later the world was shut down. I had grand plans of applying to research positions at SickKids and other major hospitals in Toronto. But, instead, I was home alone with our toddler while my husband was busier than ever as the only Urologist in our town at the time.

TikTok became the place where I would talk about all the struggles of being the mom of a toddler in quarantine. I remember being in the most difficult situations as a mom and then giggling as I would think about how funny the situation would translate as a TikTok. I would spend nap time learning TikTok dances and nothing brought me more joy than replying to troll comments in the most sarcastic way possible.

My silly social media hobby became a job.

On July 1st, 2020, I started The Mom Room podcast. I wanted a place where I could have full conversations about all these hot topics I was bringing up in my 30-60 second TikTok videos. My social media accounts continued to grow. The Mom Room took off.

This thing I was doing for fun during quarantine became an actual job. And eventually it became a BIG job.

There have been so many brand trips, celebrity interviews, viral videos, red carpets, the Grammys, and opportunities that I will can’t believe have happened. I don’t think I ever meet anyone without telling them I interviewed Matthew McConaughey. And, I will continue to do so until the day I die. And, incase you didn’t know… I interviewed Matthew McConaughey.

There are many parts of being a content creator/podcaster that I love, but I think something changes when the thing that started as having fun and not caring becomes your JOB and you become very aware that brands and influential people are watching your stuff.

I slowly started editing myself. Overthinking everything. Analyzing the data. Feeling confused. Comparing yourself to everyone else online. What was I doing?

Being an influencer is a very weird job. Your personality, opinions, things you do, how you spend your day, etc., is all part of the product. When hundreds of thousands of people are watching and listening, you become very mindful (almost too mindful) of what you are putting out there. People will see one video of you (and maybe it’s a video where I’m being sarcastic and spicy) and they think they know exactly who you are. People see you wearing a t-shirt of a particular athlete or artist and they think they know exactly who you are. It can be incredibly frustrating.

I don’t even have a big following compared to most influencers and if I’m in a social setting, I never know if anyone there follows me, knows me, trolls me, hates me, loves me… it’s a very strange feeling.

I was recently talking about how much I love walking without headphones. The other day I wanted to listen to The Toast while I walked the dogs and immediately I was thinking “omg what if someone sees me who follows me online and now they think I’m a liar!” I think I put a toque on so you couldn’t see my ears. LOL. That’s how wild and silly it all is.

The last year made me really evaluate & change EVERYTHING.

There were a few things that happened last year (more on those things to come) that really forced me to look at my relationship with my job and social media.

I am so happy that those things happened (even though they sucked at the time) because it was the beginning of a major shift for me in how I spend my time, how I create content, and how I use social media. If the events of last year never happened… I imagine I would still be surrounded by fake friends, saying “yes” to everything, and getting my nails done and putting hair extensions in (which is just so NOT me).

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This year I started what I’ve been calling my “Live Better” era. I started making really small changes to the way I was moving through my day. It has been fascinating to see how a bunch of tiny changes in my day to day habits has completely changed how I feel.

The biggest habit change was embarrassingly simple: I put my phone down.

And I don’t mean I took a weekend off Instagram and it changed my life. I mean I started actually putting my phone down (so much so that sometimes I leave it at home which sucks, LOL). I stopped reading every text message and email the second I got it. I stopped reacting and started being intentional. I stopped opening Instagram just because I had 45 seconds to spare (I brought a book to the Dr’s office a few weeks ago… do you believe that!?) I started saying NO. I stopped letting someone else’s urgency automatically become my emergency. I started protecting empty space in my calendar instead of looking at an empty afternoon and immediately thinking about what I could accomplish during it. I stopped filling every tiny empty moment in my day by consuming somebody else’s life and instead started doing things I enjoy. Even when those things are watching Big Brother and pretending I know how to paint.

Other habits I started to do regularly: walking, reading non-fiction, organizing spaces, tennis lessons, and this…Substack. I started doing things NOT because it would make for good content or because someone else was doing it… I actually enjoy these things. I have a sign in my kitchen that says “do more things that make you forget to check your phone”… and it’s SO TRUE! It sounds so basic, but when your entire career revolves around creating content for other people to consume, doing something with absolutely no intention of turning it into content feels incredible.

Most importantly, I started treating social media like my job instead of my life.

The crazy thing is that I feel more productive now even though I’m technically doing less. I’m more focused. I’m intentional with what I’m doing. I take time to think. I’m getting things done, but in a calm manner. I’m planning content instead of posting things in the moment as they happen. This has probably been one of the strangest habits for me to unlearn. Being in the moment without thinking about creating content in the moment.

I brought Milo and his friend to the apple orchard on Saturday and it was the most gorgeous day. Half way through our visit I realized that my mind felt completely different. I wasn’t trying to film stuff to make content out of it. I wasn’t thinking about current trends or captions that would work with apple picking content. I was literally just sipping a cider while they jumped around on hay bails.

Being a content creator means, you have a thought and immediately think, “that would be a funny video.” Or, you buy something and think, “people are going to ask me where this is from… can I like it and make commission?” Something funny happens and your instinct is to grab your phone and record. You go somewhere beautiful and start thinking about pretty pictures for a carousel post. You start a new hobby and some tiny part of your brain is already figuring out whether it could become a content series.

Lately, I’ve been trying to catch myself when I do that and ask, “what if I just did the thing?” What if I painted something and nobody ever saw it? What if I went somewhere and didn’t document it? What if I had an opinion and didn’t immediately turn it into a 60-second video? What if I tried something new and was terrible at it? What if I had hobbies that stayed hobbies and experiences that stayed mine?

There is a difference between having a good life and having a life that looks good online.

And, you might be wondering… “why in the world would you do ANOTHER thing online when you want to be offline?” Trust me, the irony of this is not lost on me. Setting up and planning out this Substack was a lot of work and I kept thinking to myself, “should I really be adding something else to my plate!?”

But, Substack feels different.

It sounds so funny but, I miss thinking. I miss being able to tell a story or explain a thought without thinking about whether the first three seconds are interesting enough to stop someone from scrolling (if I hear the word “hook” ONE MORE TIME!).

More than anything, I wanted somewhere online that felt like mine. Where I can write, VLOG, share solo podcast episodes that are more vulnerable and candid. Also, there’s no brand involved here. There’s no producer, no co-host, and no client approving my talking points. This isn’t my job, and I don’t need it to become one. Nobody is asking me for analytics or telling me to do this or do that. After spending year on multiple platforms where analytics are constantly being analyzed, engagement is calculated, and other people are involved… this being just me is so FREEING! Woo!

So what is Renee, Unpolished?

I’m not too sure yet but, I have an idea.

I know I want to write about my experiences as an academic turned influencer.

I want to talk about:

• this industry

• brand partnerships

• money & opportunities

• friendships

• internet culture & going viral

• being disliked online

• motherhood

• confidence

• getting older

• perimenopause

• burnout

• and things I’m changing my mind about, and things I’m still trying to figure out!

Renee, Unpolished will be serious and ridiculous… just like our actual lives. It will be stories I would never turn into an Instagram post. And, sometimes it will be things I’ve been thinking about that week.

But that’s kind of what I want this to be. I don’t want another platform to optimize

I’m not looking to become a Substack Influencer (if those even exist). I don’t want to deal with a content strategy, hooks, analytics, etc.

Renee, Unpolished is Renee circa 2018 when things on social media were simple and quite literally, Unpolished.

Everything online feels so POLISHED now… ESPECIALLY WITH AI.

I also chose the name Renee, Unpolished because my fingernails are now unpolished… LOL.

Not everything here will be behind a paywall. I’ll be sharing free articles, notes, and content but, I also wanted to build a smaller room within my little corner of the internet where I can share more.

Paid subscribers get everything available to free subscribers, plus:

🎥 THE WEEKLY VLOGS: Things I wouldn’t post on Instagram.

🎙️ THE UNFILTERED EPISODES: Exclusive podcast episodes. Where I can yap a little more candidly.

📝 THE ROUGH DRAFTS: Longer, messier, more honest thoughts, with no PR polish.

I want the paid side of Unpolished to feel like you’re sitting at my kitchen table after I’ve put my phone away and saying, “Okay, but what actually happened?”

If you want to stay on the free subscriber list, I’m so happy you’re here. And if you want to come into the smaller room with me (please take your shoes off though), you can upgrade to paid below.

Either way, welcome to Renee, Unpolished. We have so much to talk about!

Renee

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