Yes, ladies & germs, I have been suffering from a strange shoulder pain for the last week and a half which reached its zenith on Monday. I shared and IG story asking friends for healer recommendations and received many inspiring responses because waves arms The Bay Area. The pain had been waking me up the past few nights (unaided by my side sleeping), so I did a sauna / steam / hot tub / cold plunge session on Monday afternoon which helped, but by the night my shoulder’s pain returned and spasming a lot. Inspired by my community’s wonderful healer suggestions, I booked an appointment for the next morning with an acupuncturist (in network, no less!). Then I miraculously slept 8 hours without any pain waking me up and found my shoulder hurt much less and WHOKNOWSWHYMYSETERIOUSBODY. Still, I went to my appointment and I’m so glad I did. I was worked on by a delightful Irish woman, who noted my very Irish name and made my back look like it shagged a sexy octopus. Her cupping, needles & soft disposition truly did proffer my shoulder further relief and she confirmed that the right side of my body felt more ‘locked up’ than the left. I feel much lighter physically, emotionally and mentally. I felt loved by everyone who reached out with recommendations or in sympathy and affirmed that I should seek care. As much as the pain felt like it suddenly appeared, it’s more likely a part of my shoulder finally hit a breaking point and could no longer hold back.

Due to my debilitating need to appear self-sufficient, I often avoid asking for help. This “sudden” pain forced my hand and required me to get out of my own way and for that I’m grateful. OBVIOUSLY, I would rather not have the shoulder pain, but if a suspiciously large woman has to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune can’t she at least turn it into a grand metaphor about her need to ask for help more often!? I think so! A little less self-sufficiency, a little more community care, please. I’m looking forward to rehabilitating my shoulder more and annoying more of you with texts.

Shoulder shenanigans aside, October has breezed on. We’ve had some glorious weather and I took advantage by power walking to the show TWICE last week. That’s over Bernal Heights and to Van Ness & Market, mind you. #shesbuff. I saw the tour of Oh Mary! and truthfully I was disappointed a bit. It was more teehee funny than roll on the floor funny, and it deserved better. I have seen it seven times, after all. Otherwise, I’m up, I’m down, I’m all around but generally feeling positive. It’s my birthday on Sunday and my parents are coming in to town today, so that delights me. Turnin’ dirty thirty-seven and my name ain’t Kevin. Pew Pew. Finger guns emoji.

Onward.

Little Shop Extension!

Oi, Mistah! You come see me in me eight wigs, yet!? Well, if you haven’t, you’ve only nine more chances to catch our Faustian tale. We close officially on Halloween!

It’s been an incredibly sweaty delight to bring Orin Scrivello ,D.D.S., to ginger-mulleted-life and death on stage these past five weeks, along with my other seven personalities. One of the things I’ve most enjoyed about the show is making the audience hiss or vocally react in disgust to one of my more sinister moments. Someone even booed my first Orin entrance this past weekend! Heaven! Don’t forget to ask me about splitting my pants on stage too.

I also received some favorable reviews, and of course I’m going to share them because you must clap if you want this fairy to live. Truthfully, I’m genuinely proud of the work I’m doing in this show and would love for you to see it, if possible. A lot of love from the cast, crew, and creative team has been infused into this show and I’m grateful to be part of that love.

BUY YOUR TICKETS, WENCH

NCTC || 25 Van Ness, SF || Til Oct. 31st

Queer Beret - Happy Honda Days: The Hondyssey

Oi, mistah! Sharpen your spears and ready your minivan, because The Honda Days are right around the corner and The Queer Beret is ready to parttttyyy. This years Honda Day’s will be a holiday pageantstravaganza celebrating one of our religion’s most sacred texts, The Hondyssey. Come learn the true tale of Hondysseus and their many encounters, including a Waymo and an island of Whacky Waving Arm Inflatable Tube Thems, as they try to make it to the afters.

Save The Date.

Sunday, Dec. 13th & Monday Dec. 14th @ The Stud.

Sqreamboree Burfday Bash

Oi, Girls! As I mentioned, I am once again aging this weekend, and fortunately the universe has presented the perfect party plan pour moi! Sqream’s Industry Night at Oasis on Monday, October 26th. It’s the only night I can see the show and it happens to be the day after my birthday, so boom, babyyyyyy! Come singalong to 90s songs, buy me champagne and plod me with joints. But if you can’t join(t) me that night, you should still catch this hilarious, campy ride!

Sqream15 gets you $15 off tickets, diva!

Now extended til November 7th

I’ve gotten some excellent reading done these past few weeks. Currently, I’m chowing down The Worlds I See by Fei-Fei Li. It’s a beautifully written book that weaves her own partial autobiography with scientific history culminating in the modern day evolution of AI and her role within it. It’s been lovely to read something that looks at the amazing scientific progress & achievement of AI with hope when most talk these days paves the road to our imminent destruction. I also finally read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou which lead to much weeping and marveling. I devoured Sea Now by Eva Meijer and very well translated by Anne Thompson Melo. It’s a short book populated by a poetic yet direct prose tinged with wry humor that reminded me, fondly, of Ursula K. LeGuin. Highly recommend all of them. I’ve gotta see that Nathan Fielder documentary too.

Until we next meet, stay gorgeous and keep reading.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Dolly Parton held such a unique place in our culture, truly bridging so many worlds together with charm (tits), grace (hair), and her signature self-deprecating humor (more tits) on top of INCREDIBLE talent. She was a gifted story teller in her lyrics & music and an effusive actress on screen. Yet, I feel she is most remembered for the love and kindness that so effortlessly shone from her. A reminder that she taught us all to lead with love.

Tim Curry gave us freaks and queerdos the incredible role of Dr. Frank ‘N Furter in Rocky Horror (in both musical AND movie), in which so many of us found community. He would also play so many incredible roles on screen and behind the mic with a voice that is seared into our souls. Muppet Treasure Island, Fern Gully, and The Wild Thornberrys were staples of my childhood media diet and I am grateful for the joyous mark they made on me.

And dear Bob. WHAT A VISIONARY. So many of his creations came to DEFINE cultural moments — helllooooo Cher’s Oscar dress, Elton John’s baseball uniform, & Carol Burnett’s curtain rod dress, just to name a few. I watched a fabulous documentary on his life Bob Mackie: Naked Illusion a year or so ago and it was inspiring to see his vision & talent alongside his notable kind heartedness. I highly recommend a watch.

I am lucky to be part of a place like Oasis which loving tributes to their icons. I got to be part of a Dolly cabaret which was packed with people and love for the woman who inspired so many of us. Thank you to everyone who came to be part of the magic.

On the more personal side, I have been experiencing my own ups & downs these past few weeks. Lots of imposter syndrome, lack of purpose & drive, anxiety about feeling this way, and so forth. It’s not new, but has felt stronger, harder to shake. I did have a little social media outcry and had many wonderful friends, real life & internet, say kind things which buoyed me & my spirit. Then I drank so much wine with my dear friend Claire and we got tarot readings together, which was an EXCELLENT decision. I’ve been on the ups since my lil crash out, but I wanted to share because goddess knows online presentation can be very ONLYTHEGOODSTUFF, but sometimes hearing about the real stuff makes us feel a little more connected. Vulnerability is important. It’s one thing AI cannot be.

Anywhore, I continue to put my suspiciously-large-woman heels on one foot at a time and strut, because what else is a diva to do in these trying times!? So, come strut with me!

Little Shop of Horrors

A show in 8 wigs

I do indeed wear 8 wigs in this productions of Little Shop of Horrors. This is just ONE of them. I think that alone is worth the price of admission, but the rest of the production is p cunt too. We started previews this past weekend and it was a gift to hear the laughter for the campy jokes, the woo-ing for the Urchin riffs, and the palpable silence for the dentist’s, shall we say….less-lovable qualities. Also, I get to die on stage dramatically (SPOILER BUT IT’S BEEN LIKE 30 YEARS SO GET OVER IT DIVA), and that’s a first for me, which is cool emoji. The set is gorgeous, the puppets are UNREAL, and the talent is poppin’! The tickets are really starting to move so don’t delay and buy today!

New Conservatory Theatre Center || 25 Van Ness Ave at Market St

Sept. 12th - Now Extended til Oct. 25th! (My bdayyyy)

Tickets

* I have a $40 ticket code for the regular run if you need some $ help! Reach out and I’m happy to provide *

** Also, Monday, September 21st will NCTC’s first ever Industry Night, and you can use the code Grow4Me for $35 tickets (I think with the Fund Queer Art tier!) **

The Queer Beret: FASHEN WEEK

Diva, how FASHEN, r u even? R u the boots of Balenciaga? The cuntess of Celine? The Earlcount of Yves Saint Laurent? If so, and even if not, cum to The Queer Beret: FASHEN WEEK to celebrate style, fashen and also style. We are celebrating ONE YEAR of Queer Beret Chaos and we demand you look ur most FASHEN 4 us. There will be a a MOST FASHEN contest and u want to win don’t you? CUM WIN and also most likely lose but still win bc we look great, don’t we?

In a twist we’ll be throwing a day party that leads INTO the queer beret because we’re bold, eccentric. fashionable divas!

Pre-Show Afters + Patio + DJ Jumpr Musicing: 5pm

Queer Beret show: 7pm

After Show Afters: 8:30 - Whatever.

Featuring

🌺 Ryan Patrick Welsh

🌺 Helena Levin

🌺 Paige Turner

🌺 Sharon Shao

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Sunday, August 20th || 5pm - 9:30pm

The Stud || 1123 Folsom St. SF

Tickets

On Saying Goodbye to a Friend (Party); or, dance floor musings; or, Rest In Quiche

One of my favorite parties has come to a close and I wrote a little tribute to it and queer raving, in general.

If you’d like to give it a read, like, and/or comment I would greatly appreciate it. I’m trying to make myself write more!

Read it here.

Ryan Patrick Recommends

The Neodivergent Wrench

As an SF Neo-Futurist alum, I’m always up for whatever they’re hocking and now they’re delivering a brand new speciality show this weekend about neurodivergence featuring a whole neurodivergent cast! It’s bound to all the beautiful, silly, whacky, and touching things neo futurism always is.

Fri & Sat Sep. 19th & 20th @ 9PM || Theatre 33 - 533 Sutter St. SF

Tickets

Little Pumps of Whorrors

Little Pumps of WHORRORs!! In celebration of the 40th anniversary and kick off NCTC’s new production of Little Shop of Horrors, come to a drag show inspired by carnivorous plants meets musical theater tribute to the beloved cult classic!

Pumps is newest drag show in SF, and it’s creator and host, Laundra Tyme, also happens to be the designer of all the wigs I’m wearing in Little Shop of Horrors! Plus it’s being cohosted by Polly Amber Ross, who’s our costume designer, so you know it’s gonna be gay and THEATRICAL! Also wouldn’t it be a fabulous way to follow up a night with the Neos!?

Fri. 9/19 || 10:30 PM|| The Stud || Tickets

SQREAM

“Get ready for the RETURN of the 90s slasher sing-along of your teenage dreams! From the production team that brings you the immersive The Rocky Horror Show experience comes SQREAM, a drag horror parody set to all your favorite hit songs of the 1990s. Join the gang as they navigate a super queer whodunnit musical that spans the entire OASIS nightclub. Who will survive? Who is the killer behind the gay Ghostface mask? How are they going to do the garage door scene? Are they seriously using "MMMbop?!" Find out in a night of singing, dancing, blood-drenched comedy that's as campy, sexy, & gory as your millennial adolescence. They're ready to slay... are you?”

This is one of my favorite shows to come out of Oasis in its years of existence and I’m SO grateful that it’s returning! It literally all conflicts with my Little Shop schedule except for ONE NIGHT on October 26th,the day after my birthdayyyyyy, so guess when I’ll be going!?

Oct 8th - 31st

Oasis || Tickets

I’m currently reading Caller Unknown by Gillian McAllister. It’s fine. At first I found it a bit tedious, but I pushed on to be more than halfway done. I usually don’t recommend staying with books that don’t captivate me, but this one at least piques my curiosity. Plus, it’s fun to see what I don’t like in her writing style. I saw Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma and I also thought it was fine. I found it to be ambitious, but in that ambition it tried a little too hard to be too many things—meta, camp, tense, etc. and that lead to a feeling of dissatisfaction and confusion in my watching. It had some really brilliant moments and I thought and talked about it a LOT afterwards, which I think gives it merit. I’d much rather watch the big swing than the milquetoast offering, so I recommend watching. Adults is back on Hulu and scratching that good, good Broad City yearning at the core of my being and we also thankfully have Slow Horses again on Apple TV, so we can bask in the disgusting mystique of Gary Oldman’s Jackson Lamb. Ah, sweet media consumption!

Til I write again.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

The party for us girls who get down and clown. Your best judys and your ‘hey miss divagirlmarybitchbootses’! A double kiss on the first dance floor pass. You've met but who can remember names and you love to see each other coming. A compliment offered, a wise crack proffered and off she spins into the dancing amoeba, a cackling sister in tow. “God its good to see her” you muse “I simply must remember her name next time.” Ah, the family reunion. Ah, this night! This night, of course, being our last reunion under the tasteful & tender leadership of our dear friend, Quiche. We tip our berets and baseball caps in heartfelt thanks for her years of service to our commune titty.

She was that girl. The promise of Bacchus. The Narnia of Partias. An effortless groove brimming with diverse & decadent dance floor denziens locking eyes, wiggling eyebrows, and exchanging winks in joyous knowing. We made it, Mary. All those years, party after party, afters after afters, 'nother bus after 'nother bus, lead us here. It was hard work, but it was honest work, and aren’t we thankful we developed the taste to be here in this moment with one another. I know I am.

Nightlife is church/temple/mosque/gathering for so many of us faggots [derogatory but non-gendered]. It’s not a new thought, but it’s a true thought. One that we discover in the booty bumpin’ convergence of rapturous queers on a dance floor, existing only in that mycelium-moment of movement. You are not only seen & loved, but you see & love in return. You are an essential part of the whole. And the (w)hole is good, honey.

Not nearly every party achieves this feeling. In fact, the majority don’t. This doesn’t mean good and even great times aren’t had at said parties. There is music, there are lights, there is faggotry. I’ve partied a lotttt over the years and these events have provided memorable nights & cute kikis! I didn’t even know that I was missing out on the best of times because my taste was but a tender egg incubating. Oh, but how I incubated over the years. As my taste developed, I learned which events I was only doing bumps to get through and those which are a bump in themselves.

The only way to develop your taste for delicious parties is to try out many in the beginning and in the trying you refine your palate. This music is bleh, this crowd is eh, these lights are meh. A delicious party is really no different than a delicious quiche. The secret is the quality of the ingredients, the ratio in the recipe, and the deftness of the hands whisking us eggs. Even in the naming of the party, Quiche, there was a knowledge in why the name hit on multiple levels. And, oh!, was this the most delicious of quiche.

We simply must speak of the other essential ingredients and then I’ll drop the metaphor. First, the music selection. The night always provided incredible tunes & mixes which got the crowd dancing. And I don’t mean gays just standing on the floor with a drink and barely swaying while gabbing. I mean d a n c i n g, mama. The second, sound quality—offering incredible attention to detail in the way the music was delivered to our appreciative ear canals. Despite the party being outside, the dance floor enveloped us in bumping bass, marvelous mids, and heavenly highs while still allowing us to crack a joke and hear it. And, as I mentioned, the party was OUTSIDE, which leads us to number three: location, location, location! We raved at SOMArts Gallery, which has a huge indoor space, but they chose the parking lot which was essentially under the freeway. The beauty of the outdoors was that you could step off the dance floor to the little seating section and chuckle, cackle, and cavort with your girlfriends whilst not going hoarse (though many proved to be half horse the way the Special K flew off the shelves and into their nostrils. It behooved them. I am them.). Plus, raving next to a freeway makes you feel like the best kind of party gremlin (see photo above). There was always one offensive light from the freeway which shone onto the grounds, but you almost immediately forgot because of number four, the lighting/ambiance (see photo above). The deft stringing of lanterns or light orbs and placement of various artwork made you easily forget you were in a parking lot and not your coolest friend’s basement. This art extended into the bathrooms, which were commissioned by different artists for each event, often featured hilarious commentaries on the party and attendees at each shindig. It was camp for camp’s sake and I was delighted to be a cadet.

But no camp is complete without its counselors, which leads to our final ingredient in this legendary quiche: the personnel. The feeling of welcome extended from each and every person who worked that event and washed over us from our first steps off the sidewalk to our last steps back onto said sidewalk. THAT is a rare thing to achieve at an event and it begins with the organizers & residents who set the energy, intention, and culture. Thank you to Matthew Paul, Nick Moss & Win Mixter for dreaming, scheming and making it all possible for us. Because these humans came so correct, that energy extended right on down to and from every person who worked the party — lights, sound, security, bar, door, and more. Many heartfelt thanks to all of you who made us feel we were where we were meant to be. We will miss you dearly. You really made it a quiche time.

It can almost feel silly, sitting here, writing about a party like this. Parties are inherently ephemeral in queer culture and so much of what makes nightlife incredible is the intangible and indescribable. It’s the photograph of the acid trip; the recollection of the dream; the telling of another friend’s story. Yet, I still feel it’s important to memorialize it in a tiny way—to pay homage to a gathering that brought my best friends & favorite community members together a few times a year, under the glare of 101 freeway, to make merry, release strife, and be queer as fuck.

You always reminded me that San Francisco is still cool, that greatness is found in doing what you love for those you love, and that I love being a faggot.

Until we boogie again,

xxx

Ryan Patrick

My last missive was sent just before the high tide of Pride and much has transpired since. (Transpired sounds like something the dolls would say about a girl who detransitioned, but I digress….). The Sunday of Pride weekend was one of the most magical days of my lifetime in which I tirelessly prepped for an afters I was throwing at my friend, Tanner’s, then gussied myself for Envy at El Rio, got more of the afters together, danced my tatas off at Quiche, and then hosted a party til 12pm the following day. I’m a lunatic, but a FUN lunatic. (Luna Tic is a decent roller derby name, by the way.) The Dionysian might of the full moon bathed us queers and we huffed & we puffed until we bootsed the house down.

July brought greater tidings of queer joy with the return of the ‘Haga Sophia of San Francisco’, Oasis. For 8 days before her soft opening (watch it pervs!), I volunteered my services to whatever she needed. Mirror tiling? Painting? Dump run? Undoing the upstairs bar to move a fridge into an impossibly tight corner? ✅ ✅ ✅ ✅ Yes, I too, do the manual labor. It was madness until the very end, with me showing up early afternoon of the soft opening, at which I would be singing, to help finish clearing everything in the space. But, what could be more rewarding to my jobless-ass than giving back to the home that has given me a performance career in SAN FRAN (grating metal sound)? Truly, nothing. Toasting friends at the Thursday night shindig, wailing at the audience on the Friday night hard open, and go-going for the return of Princess on Saturday was exactly how I wanted to spend my time after being away for so long.

Then it was Dore Alley, and more parties and cat sitting & dog sitting & other frivolity. There’s always more details to go into, but its so much more fun to dish over a cocktail sometime. So buy me one already! Oh, but speaking of things to tawlk about, I have some exciting news!

Little Shop of Horrors

🎶 “Watch ‘em drop, you’ll never stop the terrors! No, no, no, noooooooo” 🎶

If you hadn’t heard from me already, or even if you had, I’M STILL JAZZED to tell you that I shall be appearing in NCTC’s upcoming production of ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ this fall! I shall be making my NCTC debut as Orin Scrivello, D.D.S., aka The Dentist, as well as something like 8 other characters in the show. I’m all aquiver to fulfill the destiny my Brobdingnagian personality has been building up to all these years, “play a psychotic villain on stage”. Beside me being the obvious draw for you, the cast is packed with talent (the urchins sound UNREAL), and the custom new Audrey II puppets being designed & built by Dave Haaz-Baroque are cuntyyyy. So, come on down for an oral examination. The doctor is in. 👹 🦷 👺

New Conservatory Theatre Center (25 Van Ness Ave at Market St)

Sept. 12th - Oct. 18th

Tickets

* I have access to 2-for-1 tickets for preview week and a $40 ticket code for the regular run if you need some $ help! Reach out and I’m happy to provide *

** Also, Monday, September 21st will NCTC’s first ever Industry Night, and you can use the code Grow4Me for $35 tickets (I think with the Fund Queer Art tier!) **

The Queer Beret: FASHEN WEEK

^{BEHOLD MY GRAPHIC DESIGN SKILLS AND TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING I AM NOT ACTUALLY GOOD AT ALL THINGS!}

Did I just create the ugliest hold-poster on Canva by searching ‘fashion’ and putting all those graphics on, whilst my producer, Sammy, creates an actual good one so you know that I’m not using AI.? Yes, yes I did, because I don’t want to get cancelled am a good person. But let’s get into the deets, divatrons! 🤖

FIRST OFF, it’s our One Year Anniversary! As a quarterly event, this means our 5th show is a one year anniversary, but HEY, that is something. SECOND OFF, the theme is FASHEN WEEK. This had already been decided before Anna Wintour announced SF was where Vogue World would take place, so it just goes to show you that my finger is on the goddamned pulse. THIRD OFF, we’re not only serving you show for this edition, but we’re giving you afternoon day party INTO show. There will be a real live Disc Jockey or Discuss Jockey (Idk gender) b4 AND after the musical singing portion so OMG. FOURTH OFF, we’ll be having a BEST DREST, WURST DREST, AND MOST SF DREST, so come DREST 2 WIN a prize! GET OFF. This is just a reminder that you should get off, relieve a little tension, baby! 💦

This Queer Beret will feature SF’s biggest fashion icon, Helena Levin, and one of the most stylish multi-hyphenate artists I know, Paige Turner. As always we’ll be accompanied by my dear friend, Noah Bossert, who will tickle more than just your ivories (for a fee, of course!) 💸

Here’s two more things to know/do. Tickets go on sale, next week on Wed. Aug 26th. We’re doing first, second, and third release tickets, so the earlier you buy, the more you save! Follow our Eventbrite profile so you’re notified when the tickets are on sale. Next, you can follow our Instagram if you don’t already! It’s a big help for us getting our the good good queer beret word! 📱

Sunday, August 20th || 4pm - 10pm

The Stud || 1123 Folsom St. SF

Tickets || Available starting Aug. 26th.

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Disastrous

“On the run, and undercover, Champagne Horowitz Jones Dickerson White must battle natural disasters, vicious animals and the ruthless henchmen of the pharmaceutical industry; all while searching for the perfect orgasm.” 💥

D’Arcy is effin’ hilarious as is this whole cast and you should RUN to see this. I’ll be there on Friday, September 4th. SUPPORT LOCAL QUEER ART!

Thu. Aug 20th - Sat. Sept 12th || 7pm Show

Oasis || Tickets

Return On Investment

“Set in the high-pressure world of Silicon Valley, Aaron Loeb’s R.O.I. is a sharp, fast-moving play about innovation, power, and the price of trying to change the world.” 🗺️

Listen, I know tech is often one of the things I’m trying to escape when I go to the theatre, but that doesn’t mean it can’t make for a JUICY drama. My dear friend, Sharon Shao, is in this show and whenever she’s on stage she TEARS IT UP, so I’m stoked to see this next week on Aug. 28th! They even got the highest review from The SF Chronicle!

Runs til Sept. 5th || The Creativity Theatre (221 4th St. SF)

Tickets

My goddess, I have consumed SO MUCH CONTENT in the time we’ve been apart. Perhaps, too much, but here are some highlights. I am almost done with my first ever full watch of Parks & Rec (blah blah blah I hadn’t seen it), and obviously I love it. I binged Shogun two weekends ago when I was down for the count with another abscess. I saw Camp Miasma in theaters last weekend and I both neither hated it nor loved it, but it made me think a lot, which I appreciate in art. The new Avatar Aaag: The Last Airbender movie was fantastic and made me weep (and also a little horny at how hot the characters were, woof 🐶 ). House of The Dragon 🐉 , Silo 🕳️ , & obviously Hacks 🎙️ kept me well sated in my premiere drama & comedy shows. I finished my David Sedaris book & the Andrew Sean Greer (as mentioned previously) and now have some new books to get through because my brain needs more time on a page and less on a screen. BUT, I will always take recommendations from you beautiful creatures.

As always, I write far too much, so if you made it this far from tits to toes (thank you Olivia Haas), congratulations and thank you.

Til I write again.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

But enough of my trade digression, can we tawlk? I’ve been having a splendid June, post-New Yawk. I’ve dogsat twice, enjoyed evenings with friends, given my nasal passages a rest, and prepped for Pride! My body is getting more snatchified and I’m drinking green smoothies. HEALTH! I’ve actually taken several walks around Bernal Heights on my own because HEALTH! That ones mostly for the old mental wellness. Touching grass, even dead, dry grass is good I guess. I went to a clothing swap with a friend and then smoked a cigarette on Treasure Island with said friend, swapping intimate secrets whilst drinking in the dreamy landscape of San Francisco. I still wake up and wonder: ‘What am I doing with my life?’ ‘Will I ever consider myself successful?’ ‘Will I ever not be addicted to my phone’. All questions best left in the Lord’s hands….and probably my therapist’s. I should get a therapist again. But these questions aren’t dragging me down so much as just constantly floating in the back of my brain as I touch dead, dry grass. June truly has been mostly splendid and I think only more splendid things await.

The Queer Beret: J U N E !

With so many amazing holidays in June, it’s hard to choose just ONE reason to come together and celebrate. Should we celebrate National Pollinator’s Month? National Homeowner’s Month? DONALD DUCK DAY!? Truly, I couldn’t decide WHAT to celebrate so I said, LETS DO IT ALL! And by all, I mean a select few reasons, because I don’t have the time, resources, or mental capacity to create a spectacular number for International Yoga Day, though I’d like to down a few dogs in the back alley if you know what I mean winkwink gaggag. We’ve got two incredible guests this month, Gigi Fontaine & Franzia Rosé, so let’s have a good turn out for our gals, yeah!? I hope we don’t forget anything important!

Sunday, June 21st | 6pm doors - 7pm show

The Stud | 1123 Folsom St

Tickets here.

Pride at the Pulpit: A Queer Cabaret

A queer cabaret in a former Catholic Church that’s been bought and refurbished by a gay guy? If only my 11 year old altar boy self could see me now. He’d probably say “I’m NOT gay!” Ah, youth.

If you can’t get enough of me at a microphone seek help, but also come support this fun little variety show that I get to be a part of and NOT have to produce. Plus, St Joe’s is so beautiful on the inside that even my questionable taste can’t mar it’s shine! (probably.)

Wednesday, June 24th | 7 - 10pm

St. Joseph’s Arts Society | 1401 Howard St. SF

Tickiiiessss.

Pride Weekend

And then there’s actually Pride weekend of course! First up, I’ll be at:

Pink Block Party Pride

I’m dancing a little backup for iconic local drag queen Snaxx (HEARD OF HER) with a bunch of other gheys & theys, so look for us at the Oasis stage on Saturday at 4pm if you’re there!

Saturday, June 27th 12pm - 9pm | Tickets

Grunt

We like em BIG. BIG Beats. BIG GUYS. BIG Sleaze. BIG Vibes. I’m back at the door for this slutsational party at The Stud and we’ve got Stöned Fruit & Chuck Gunn on the decks so the beats are gonna be sick and thicccc.

Saturday, June 27th | 9pm - 2am | The Stud | Tickets

If you want to know what my Sunday plans are just text me.

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Bound at the Frameline Festival

Gina Gershon & Jennifer Tilly getting hot & heavy while trying to double cross and escape the mob? YES PLEASE. Also Lilly Wachowski is going to be there, so what are you waiting for? I’ll be there with my nipples already erect.

Saturday, June 20th | 8:45 pm | The Castro Theatre | Tickets

The SF Neo Futurists Infinite Pride

Not gay as in musical theater, queer as in 🌈 EXPERIMENTAL PERFORMANCE ART🌈

9 Gay and Trans Neo-Futurists. 30 Plays. 60 minutes of queer joy/queer truth/queer weirdness/queer life. Plus 50% of the proceeds go to BAWS, a local peer-led organization that supports sex workers with mutual aid, information and resources and social support.

The Neos always have my heart and as one of the two gays who originally brought our Pride performances into queer spaces, I am so proud to see the legacy live on!

Mon. 6/22 El Rio, 8:00 PM
Tues. 6/23 The Stud, 6:30 PM & 9:00 PM

Tickets

Well it’s a good time for media, I’d say! I’ve been SO pleased that The Legend of Vox Machina has returned and enlivened my nerdy, gay heart. I’ve been swooning at how hot James Marsden and Jon Hamm are in Your Friends & Neighbors, and enjoying the kookiness of Widow’s Bay on Apple TV. I actually was very impressed with the new RuPaul movie Stop That Train’and appreciated it really leaning into dumb camp. We need more of it ALWAYS. I’m also excited to dive into the new David Sedaris book ‘The Land and Its People’, thanks to my local library from which I am still writing this missive to you all.

Stay gay.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

How fine to see you all here at the tail end of the lusty month of May. Certainly mine was! 😏 And so much of it was spent in New York! I had a really lovely time living that NYC life for a couple of weeks and getting settled before our big SCRR weekend at The Tank! I saw some shows! John Cameron Mitchell in Oh, Mary (4/10. We’ll TALK), The Rocky Horror Show (6/10. WE’LL TALK), Mexodus (10/10. OH MY GOD SO MUCH TALENT). There were friends & family, lovers, and raves in Brooklyn. Rave, Laugh, Love. I ran into people from all over at the most seemingly random times. Synchronicity was afoot & future adventures planted their seeds. Then my return home involved a 9 hour delay, cancellation and rebooking for two days later which involved me taking 3 flights and 18+ hours of travel to get to SF from NYC, but this suspiciously large woman made it back and overjoyed to be home.

BUT WHAT ABOUT SEX, CAMP, ROCK ‘N ROLL!? So glad you asked. Let’s begin.

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll

First, I just want to say A HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED TO OUR CAMPAIGN! We were able to raise about $8k from the community which was CRUCIAL to getting to New York and making everything possible. Also, a huge shoutout to, Topher Lin, who came on as an executive producer with a sizable donation, which not only closed the gap, but allowed for a photographer, accounted for extra costume pieces, and helped with all the team member’s stipends. THANK YOU TOPHER!

And now for the show. The Tank was the perfect place to land for a new girl in town. The staff were all welcoming & accommodating and they essentially entrust you and your team with the space. We were all thankful for our temporary home & the support they gave us.

AND THE SHOWS WENT GREAT! Well, okay, the first night we had some creaky tech troubles with mics and occasional light stuff, but thankfully that was our most sold show (67 / 98!) filled with friends and family from ALL over, so everyone was able to roll with it. Everything was smoothed out for our 2nd and 3rd performances and the show really locked in. Everyone on stage was grooving with each other, the audience was grooving with us, and together we communed through joy, laughter, and tears. It was beautiful and made me so proud of all the hard work our entire team put in to make this weekend blip happen. Thank you to The K*ntz!, Ruby & Adria, The Gruntz!, Noah, Austin & Nathan, our costumer, Andie, our stage manager, Kitty, and to our new tech additions, Mal & Maddie, for making it all possible. My heart is so full from the experience, and I KNOW that we’re going to land a future run somewhere.

“…while descending the center aisle of the theater, like Bob Barker hosting an extra slutty episode of The Price Is Right. Italian disco with a confident pelvic groove, it’s the aural equivalent of a hit of poppers and the perfect way to ease us into Sex, Camp, Rock ‘n Roll…”.

Did I mention, WE GOT A KILLER REVIEW!? It was totally unexpected and MORE than welcome! It’s really special to read something that understands what you were creating and espouses on it with incredible pull quotes. Read the rest of it here!

I’m really full of gratitude.

Princess with Sasha Colby at August Hall

Well, everyone must be on vacation or dead because I just got asked to join the line up for Princess with Sasha Colby, tomorrow night! Well, not JUST asked, but only a week ago, so…pretty much! How could a suspiciously large woman like moi decline the chance to share a lineup with one of the kindest, hottest, and most talented drag performers on the planet! My ego simply wouldn’t allow it! So, if you like to see me do my thing singing (screaming) live into a microphone while wearing sparkly costumes, join us tomorrow night! We’ve got a killer lineup of talent!

Princess | Sat. May 29th | Doors 10pm

August Hall | 420 Mason St. SF

Buy Tickets!

Lady Champagne at The Frameline Festival

Can you find me in this poster?

Filmed entirely in San Francisco and featuring over 80 queer and trans performers, Lady Champagne is a slapstick love letter to 1970s exploitation cinema—equal parts glam, grit, and guerrilla filmmaking. It’s a wild ride through low-budget excess, high-octane action, and unapologetic drag spectacle.

AND I PLAY A HENCH VILLAIN! Finally! 😈 Plus I got to film driving a vintage car down Lombard Street and up Twin Peaks! We filmed this mostly in the summer of 2023 & it’s wild to see it now premiering across the world at so many film festivals. I am so honored that D’Arcy asked me to be apart of this queer San Francisco fever dream and that I get to attend the SF premiere which doubles as the opening film for The Frameline Film Festival’s 50th Anniversary at The Castro Theatre! Sometimes life does really feel like a dream.

You can read more about the movie here and/or watch a teaser trailer here!

Wednesday, June 17th | 7:30 - 10pm

The Castro | 429 Castro St. SF

It’s ALREADY sold out(OMG!) but there may be rush tickets available on the day of, so keep your eyes and ears open! (They may also end up adding a second screening since it’s SOLD OUT!)

Some behind the scene photos I can finally share!

Pride at The Pulpit

Ryan Patrick, in a queer cabaret for Pride? Groundbreaking. But, Ryan Patrick in a queer cabaret at the lush, Ken Folk-designed former church turned arts space for Pride? Cunt. Expect a variety show celebrating the sanctity of queer joy, including burlesque, live singing, sexy juggling and queer stand up comedy, all while in one of the most gorgeous spaces in San Francisco!

Wednesday, June 24th | 7-10pm

St. Joseph Art’s Society | 1410 Howard St. SF

Tickets

The Queer Beret: JUNE!

Listen, divas, in case you haven’t caught on, I’ve been a little busy, so the Queer Beret took a tiny backseat, BUT we are still coming to you in June! So mark your little gay calendars and expect a night of queer chaos featuring the talents of me, Gigi Fontaine (Claire Reilly), Franzia Rosé, anddddd someone else. HAHAHA. (oy)

Sunday, June 21st | 6pm doors / 7pm show

The Stud | 1123 Folsom St. SF

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Amador Obscura

Get ready to kick-off Pride Month with Amador Obscura, a one-night-only immersive theatrical event supporting nonprofit counseling agency Queer LifeSpace, in collaboration with Peaches Christ Productions. Directed by Michael Phillis, this provocative adaptation of Thighs Wide Shut features over 20 actors and drag performers across three expansive, immersive floors.

This is tomorrow night and only a handful of tickets remain! Get sexy, weird, and wild for Pride while supporting a fabulous cause and twenty local queer performers!

Sat. May 30th | 5pm - 9:30pm

Amador Club| 550 Montgomery St. Floor 10 Unit 10 SF

More Info & Tickets

Auntie Pho Comedy Hour

It’s time for The Bay’s brand new gleefully anti-fascist talk variety show! The very real, very scary leftist organization known as Antifa Auntie Pho is scrambling to rebrand after a certain Executive Order deemed their activities Un-American! It’s up to Auntie Pho CEO Phil Wong and his gang of blue-pilled betas to save the future of The Woke Mind Virus the only way they know how… a late night talk show with a live studio audience!'

Phil is a good friend of mine and genuinely one of the nicest and hardest working performers in The Bay! Anything they do on stage is great and I can’t wait to catch this next week! Plus tickets are sliding scale and NOTAFLOF (no one turned away for lack of funds).

Thu. Jun 4th - Sun. Jun 7th | 7:30pm

Z Space | 450 Florida Ave. SF

More Info & Tickets!

I’m like at the email limit length so I gotta go, but I love you all and am grateful for you in my life. Hope to squeeze you around SF soon!

xxx

Ryan Patrick

SCRR The Fun(d)raiser

Yes divas, I am once again here to ask for your support in continuing the dream of this show reaching more and more audiences. We are throwing a super fun party THIS Sunday, April 19 from 6 - 10pm at The Magic Patio! You can add it to your calendar via this Partiful link! BUT WHAT WILL BE HAPPENING!? So glad you screamed that question. What a beautifully screamed question.

6 - 7pm - Mingle, Drink, Be Merry.

7 - 8pm - Performances of songs formerly in SCRR (with OG K*ntz!) & some surprise performances!

8 - 10 - Open piano bar for you to belt it out with our fab music director, Noah Bossert!

I even made a huge slideshow with photos from every single iteration of the show from these past 4 years! Who knew a slideshow could take 4 hours to make 🥴 It was a wild trip down memory lane seeing how much the show has changed over the years and the parts that have remained! (The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same, CorinneBaileyRae, amright!?)

So, I hope you will join us in our merriment BUT if you cannot attend but still have the burning desire to show your support for the queer fantasia that could, YOU CAN DONATE RIGHT HERE TAX FREE! Oasis Arts is sponsoring us which is a beautiful full circle moment as Oasis Arts first gave SCRR a shot with its inaugural Artist in Residency program after my first one off performance in June 2022. And now four years we are braving New York City. How the clock hands tickory dickory cock!

Fagatha Christie’s Book Club

Fagatha Christie’s Book Club convenes again. Instead of solving mysteries, we’re serving drag, disco, and daytime debauchery.

This line up is FILLED with some local drag divatrons and they even threw in a couple of poo-pushers to round it out for the fujoshis. (Sorry, Mom, you’re gonna have to google that one). Also, who doesn’t want to get day drunk and fall peacefully to sleep by 10pm on a Saturday?

Saturday, April 18th | 2 - 8pm @ THE STUD

Tickets

SCRR IN NEW YORK

There’s not much else to say about this at the moment, except that it feels a bit like a whirling tornado of a dream coming true. It’s a lot of work, but anything worth it always is. So, please, tell all your New York friends, lovers, and enemies. My mom & sister will be there opening night!

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll | Thu. May 14th - Sat. May 16th

9: 30pm | The Tank - 312 W 36th St. NYC

Tickets

Champagne Room Secrets

Just when you were thinking “but, Ryan Patrick, are you just updating me on the same exact things that you updated me on when you sent your March newsletter two weeks too late just two weeks”, first of all, quiet you. And work on that sentence structure. Blech! We both know you don’t take my newsletter that seriously.

Second of all, GOTCHA! I’m on a podcast! A friend’s podcast BUT A PODCAST NONETHELESS. Watch me spill the tea with my dear frenemy Barbie Bloodgloss (Kitty KaPowww was so gagged for my guest appearance they dropped out of their hosting duties) about our dear beloved industry AND talk about the fundraiser on Sunday (because what else would I talk about).

Honestly, it was very fun and silly. We had a blast recording and then got drunk seeing Project Hail Mary. (very good)

SIP UP THOSE SECRETS HERE MAMA.

I’ve been pretty busy with getting my life together for this little trip I’m taking to New York (HEARD OF IT!?), but I’ve done SOME media. I’m reading “My Name Is Iris” by Brando Skyhorse. Mostly listening to the audiobook before bed, which is expertly narrated by Alejandra Reynoso. It’s another futuristic, AI dystopian mother tale (are my book choices trying to tell me something!?), but the tension is a delicious, frog-in-the-pot boil that’s keeping me very engaged. I also binged ‘Last One Laughing’ Season 1 of the UK edition with my roomie and we can’t wait to binge season 2 (and other franchises). It’s very funny to watch a room full of comedians try not to laugh at each other. Otherwise, I’m just super excited for Anne Hathaway in Mother Mary which will be dropping the day this newsletter comes out. I’m actually listening to the OG soundtrack written by charli xcx & Jack Antonoff (with one FKA Twigs song) and it’s a boparina.

Hope all is well with you, or at least that you’re not stuck down a well.

Well wishes.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Maybe just a bit.

I did want to offer a brief reflection on The Queer Beret’s CRUISING: IN DEEP SHIP show. I ended up making it somewhat complicated, but the amazing thing is that when you cast and work with amazing people, they elevate your chaos into the lowbrow camp it was meant to be. Thanks to our phenomenal crew, 1st Mate Phil Wong, Kitty Litter a Lorna Love Coozer -The Lovelorn Cruiser, Dick Drollinger as Undercover Tom Cruise, Captain Bill Wicht, & Our Cruisin’ Ship Magician, Andrew Evans. And to everyone who set sail with us aboard the HMS Pinawhore, thank ye. Ankles Away!

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll: The Fun(D)raiser

Listen gays, gals, & non-binary pals, I’m gonna give it to you gay. “Divas, the price of trade has gone up!” Now, I’ll give it to you straight “I needah the money.” 🤌🏻

I am throwing a big fun(d)raiser party because I am bringing 7 other humans across the continent, housing them for a week, and paying them a per diem. That’s on top of getting a tech, paying for costumes, renting rehearsal space, paying a graphic designer (if you look at the image above you can see why I desperately need one), and ALL the other expenses that come with self-producing a show. 💸

We are going to raise 15k. According to my gayest calculations, that would cover flights, hotel rooms & a reasonable per diem for our team. That’s the amount it would take for me to not go into considerable debt to make this happen. But I would, because I believe in this show getting it’s foot in the door in New York. I know it has the potential to be a big success with a longer run there and this is that first step. Or, at least its the next big step and YOU can be a part of that step. Help bring this ragtag San Francisco show to the Big Apple and show them that “WE MAKE BAD TASTELESS ART TOO!” We’re also in talks to have a certain queer non-profit take our donations, so that it could be a tax write off for you! 👀

We’re going to have booze, hot local queers, throwback performances of songs editions of Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll past, and we’ll top the whole night off with an open piano bar so you can belt your little gay heart out.

SAVE THE DATE

Sunday, April 19th | 6 - 10 PM

The Magic Patio | 3264 Mission St.

Fagatha Christie’s Book Club

Fagatha Christie’s Book Club convenes again. Instead of solving mysteries, she’s serving drag, disco, and daytime debauchery! Featuring Ariel Jackson Hollywood-Fantasea, Évian, Laundra Tyme, Mudd the Two Spirit with a special performance from Yifan & RP. This is a queer space, a joyful space, and a place to shake it under the disco ball without sacrificing your beauty sleep.

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT NUMBER WE’VE BEEN BOOKED TO DO AGAIN. 🏒

• 📚 Chapter 1: Doors at 2pm | 👠 Chapter 2: Drag at 3pm

• 🎶 Chapter 3: Dance until 6pm | 😴 Epilogue: Bed with a book by 8pm

Saturday, April 18th | 2 - 8pm

The Stud | 1123 Folsom St.

Tickets

Sex Camp Rock ‘N Roll in NYC

It’s officially 6 weeks away! 6 weeks until I bring this unceasing, glittery, tasteless, camp-soaked, queer rollercoaster of a show to New York for the first time! I’ve got the performers lined up, the musicians lined up, we’ve got a few new costume surprises up our sleeves, we have the fabulous Kitty KaPow! joining us as our stage manager, and we even have a bunch of friends from SF joining us for our run! Which means you should join us too! Or if you can’t make it out there, tell all your New York friends and enemies! 🤭

Truly, if you know anyone out in New York with connections, producer friends, rich friends, artist friends, etc. please tell them to come see the show! I want to get a longer run in the not-so-distant future and really could use all types of support financially and knowledge wise.

Thu. May 14th - Sat. May 16th | 9:30pm show

The Tank | 312 W 36th St. NYC

Tickets

Well I’m happy to say that I have finally re-entered my reading era and it’s SO GOOD to be back baby! The book that hooked me back in was Madeline Miller’s heart-wrenching & gorgeous page-turner, Circe. I followed that up with Jessamine Chan’s The School For Good Mothers, a near-future dystopian novel which I give a 7.5/10. I then went to Madeline Miller’s other greek-retelling Song of Achilles, which left me in tears at the end. Lastly, I chomped up the sumptuous prose and storytelling of Ann Patchett’s The Dutch House. That lady sure can write a sentence that you’ll reread twice, three times, even four just to let it wash over your brain. I’ve got a few more lined up and I’m just thrilled to be back in the world of words.

Screen wise, I’ve been enjoying the hilarious Company Retreat, which hires one man as a temp at a hot sauce company and has him join on the company retreat. The twist is that everyone else is an actor and the whole thing is fake, which is nuts, and leads to some amazing funny shit. I also am excited to dive into Deadloch, season 2, on Prime, which is an Australian, female-driven, cop procedural which expertly blends hilarious dialogue and characters with compelling mystery! Also, I recommend the Rachel McAdam’s movie Send Help, which is a great thriller and star turn for her.

In love, solidarity, & vodka

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Heated Rivalry: The Party (Fri. Jan 30th) - Girl - the literal girls - I mean the cisgender straight girls, NEEDED THIS NIGHT. My goddess the way they screamed and humped and tipped and danced and released. I was not sure what this party was going to be like, but it ended up turnt and Yifan gave those ladies the fantasy they needed with our gogoing and tribute number.

Vanessa 5000 (Sun. Feb 1st) - A clown, sex, robot? Yes, please. One of the best solo performances I’ve ever seen. I’m only mad I didn’t think of it. Here’s a trailer. If you ever get the chance to see this show, GO.

D’Arcy’s Drag & Disco (Sat. Feb 7th) - The week leading up we rehearsed Sun (at Sexitude), Tue, Thu, & Fri night; I opened the coffee shop Wed - Sat; Wed. Yifan and I finished choreographing the new parts of our Heated Rivalry number Wed afternoon; and every other spare minute was dutifully spent rhinestoning our jerseys, which I only finished, literally, at 6pm on Saturday. I felt insane, but the release of getting to perform in the newly renovated and GORGEOUS Castro Theatre with all my friends from Oasis was well worth the effort. It was the biggest audience I ever got to do a number for, and both D’Arcy’s opener & our Heated Rivalry number brought down the house. If you didn’t see the gorgeous video I edited together, check it out here!

Pillion Premiere (Thurs. Feb 12th) - Had the honor of being invited to The Castro theatre premiere of Pillion and the afterparty at The Stud, so of course had to deck out in the appropriate outfit and bring my good judy, Siyu along! I think the film is quite excellent and lovingly shows the kinky queer community in all it’s joy & complexity with a real sense of humor and the ambition that not all questions get answered, which naturally invites discussion! You should see it!

Platonically Yours (Sun. Feb 15th) - So that week I was also in rehearsals with my friend, Andy to put on our first ever little show together, which ended up so fabulously. The whole point was a low key / low pressure event where the focus was just the joy of getting together to make music, and not worrying about perfection. It was Andy’s first professional music gig and he nailed it! We did our little cabaret set, took a break & then hosted friends to get up, sing & play music. We’ll definitely be doing more so stay tuned!

This week I’ve been at work choreographing for a Purim spiel that goes up next weekend & I’m working hard to get all my ducks so that I can just truly unwind and let loose at the fabulous villa vacation I got invited to in Puerto Vallarta next monday-friday! That’s right these gams are going internacional, once more, though it will be their first escape south of the border! Me gusta. But now let’s talk shop.

Siyu & I looking very gay & stylish at the Pillion premiere.

The Queer Beret presents

CRUISING: IN DEEP SHIP

All Hands on Dick & Ankles Away, as the Queer Beret is leaving port and setting sail into uncircumcised territory. On Ryan Patrick’s Cruise Ship for Cruisers, Other Cruisers, And Those Who Don’t Identify as Cruisers; and, also, Non-Binaries, we’re celebrating the many pleasures of cruising culture. Help us make great headway as we navigate tight berths, check out the tackle and ride the swell. Experience deck-defying entertainment featuring our house band, The Gruntz!, a bevy of internationally tolerated singers, and an actual, god-damned magician. Poseidon be praised.

There may even be some major celebs on board….undercover…..wink.

….It’s not Tom Cruise.

The Queer Beret presents Cruising: In Deep Ship

Sunday, March 15th - 7:30pm - The Stud. 1123 Folsom St.

Your tickets await.

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll - NYC - The Tank

So, I mentioned it briefly last time, but wanted to just to say I’m sooooo friggin’ excited to be bringing Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll to New York after dreaming of it for so long. After spanning the Atlantic, now she simply spans the continent for a divine three night east coast engagement. I have some big hopes & plans for this run. Not only would I love to sell out (or like 85% full) each night, I want to make sure to invite plenty of people who could help get the show a longer run in NYC. The show is so good & so ready (and so am I!) to be seen & enjoyed and I need help making that into a reality!

So, I’m turning to you. If you have any contacts in New York who produce, work for venues, have connections, etc. please, send to them to the show or send them my way! You never know what will bring the next break, so ask them all! I’ll be working on a more official promotional blurb for the show to send to contacts, which I’m happy to send you if you know someone to pass it along to! Anything is deeply appreciated.

It will have been exactly one year since I last performed this show, when we have our weekend in New York, but even with that break, I still feel as passionate about it as I did in my first year. Even more so, because I have continually strived to sculpt it into something that is not only a reflection of me & my life but a mirror for the audience to explore themselves through outlandish costumes, campy jokes, and a few catchy tunes. We have a few new surprises for this next iteration, because we always strive to improve our dazzling evening of questionable taste.

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll

Thu. May 14th - Sat. May 16th

9:30pm - The Tank. 312 W. 36th St.

Tickets ARE live!

SCRR THE FUN(d)RAISER

I wish I had a cool mil so I could just make art, pay people well & not stress, but I don’t, so I make art, pay people pretty good, and big stress. Bringing a show of this size across the country is not simple or cheap. Though I am blessed by performing at The Tank, as they offer their space for free along with rehearsal hours, I still need to get 6 or 7 people across country, house them for about a week, hopefully per diem them, and fly them back home! It’s a big ask & I’m once again turning to the community to pitch in and help us out!

We are throwing an in-person fun(d)raiser on Sunday, April 12th to raise money to offset the cost of producing this show. The location is still TBD as is the exact time, though I imagine around 6 - 9pm. There will be drinks, light snacks, merriment and of course, music! The K*ntz! and I will be singing some songs from past iterations of the show (Black Velvet anyone!?) and then we’ll have an open piano bar with our fabulous MD, Noah Bossert, so you can belt your heart outs for a good cause!

So, please, save the date:

Sunday, April 12th - An Evening Fun(d)raiser for Intercontinental Legs.

Ryan Patrick Recommends

99 Wrench Market

You know I always gotta boost my performance art home troupe, The SF Neos! You can catch the show tonight & tomorrow 2/20 & 21! I’ll be there tomorrow!

A new specialty show featuring 30 microplays by Asian-American Neo-Futurists!

Just in time for Lunar New Year, the critically-acclaimed SF Neo-Futurists are thrilled to premiere 99 Wrench Market, a brand-new specialty show featuring 30 original plays in 60 minutes by an all Asian-American cast! For two nights only, the Asian-American members of “SF’s premiere performance art troupe” (48 Hills) will race against the clock to translate our lived experiences in the Bay Area into a bold, joyful, chaotic mix of microplays ranging from personal storytelling, audience games, and surrealist antics, as we explore wtf it means to be Asian. <3

Tickets & More Good Good Info

Paranormal Activity

I’ve heard this show is scary AF & not like cheap scares, like genuine WTF scares with incredible stage illusions. So like, lets’s get spooky, yeah?

Feb 19 - Mar 22 @ ACT - Tickets

Midwest Connect - Blessed Madonna B2B w/ Mike Servito

One lineup, three dance music legends. The Godmother of Detroit house music does she what does best while The Blessed Madonna b2b Mike Servito will be another one for the books. Y’all wanna fucking dance? Cuz I do!

Fri. Feb 27th - Public Works - Tickets

Grunt

Grunt is back for the season, baby! I’m back working that door, so if you like big boys & big noise, come on down to the sleaziest, sexiest, slutty lil social dance at The Stud!

Sat. Feb 28th - Tickets

Okay, I’ve really been enjoying 50% off movies at Nicole Kidman theatres (aka AMC) on Tuesday and Wedenesdays! I saw The Housemaid with Barbie and we drank two bottles of wine at 3:45pm on a Wednesday and this past Wednesday I saw the Rachel McAdams thriller, Send Help, which was chef’s kiss excellent.

That’s all I’ve got for now, chickadees. Thanks for tuning in as always.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Oasis news aside, the rest of my holiday season was quite splendid as well. I got to live out my crazed fantasy of celebrating Happy Honda Days at The Queer Beret, saw many fun and queer holiday shows like Holiday Gaiety with Peaches Christ and Jinkx & Dela’s Holiday Show, and then topped it all off with my first trip home for the actual Christmas holiday since 2019. Because of Pandemi Lovato and then holiday shows I was in, I had made a tradition of returning in January, but I’m so glad I traveled back east with my sister, Sarah Catherine, and her partner, Ben. It was my mom’s first Christmas since her mother’s passing earlier this year, so it felt extra important. My grandmother always filled our house with music around the holidays, and my mom kept that tradition going this year by hiring a pianist to play. The REAL party started after that pianist left (honestly, he was just okay) and our family friend Misa, a literal piano prodigy, got up to tickle the ivories. Then it was beautiful revelry. I hold that night close to my heart and thank the universe that I was born into a family that brings people together with music.

I hope your holidays brought you what you needed too! I’m trying to keep these feelings close as we enter into 2026 with some fresh horrors from our government. Hold your community close at this time because that’s what will get us through. I am planning to take 2026 by storm. Let’s get to it.

Heated Rivalry: The Party 🏒

Okay, so since this incredibly horny show dropped on HBO, I receive a relatively steady stream of “You look like the guy from Heated Rivalry.” Actor: Connor Storrie; Character: Ilya Rozanov. I think it’s mostly because I have curly hair, blue eyes and cheekbones. Also, outside of the show, Connor Storie sometimes has a mustache, so, sure. Whether or not, I do truly look like him, I’ve been booked TWICE to perform a Heated Rivalry number with my friend Yifan and I am not above glomming onto someone else’s fame & success for my own tiny slice! Your first chance to catch me tearing up the ice is at this party, hosted by SF Icon Nicki Jizz! It’s time to puck.

Friday January 30th. 10pm - 2am. Public Works.

Tickets here.

D’Arcy’s Drag & Disco 🪩

The Castro Theatre is finally reopening after two long years and it’s gonna be a celebration for the books! I was there for their final event, The Victor/Victoria singalong almost exactly two years ago and now I’ll be there for the first big public party! I’ve been so excited for The Castro Theatre to receive this gorgeous renovation and to help revitalize the neighborhood a bit! Hell YES to a successful concert venue in our iconic gayborhood. A hub for queer entertainment in our famously queer city that will hopefully inspire certain Castro business owners (cough!lesnatali!cough!) to find new businesses for their many shuttered storefronts. I really loved this video explaining the restoration and renovation of the theatre (and learning that indoor smoking actually helped PRESERVE all the old art! Vapes could NEVER!)

So come and join us for dancing, drag, and debauchery (and my OTHER Heated Rivalry number). Vivé La Castro!

Saturday, Feburary 7th. 7pm doors. The Castro Theatre.

Tickets

Platonically Yours: A Palentine’s Show 🤜 🤛

So, I had been toying with the idea of a little Valentine’s cabaret at the end of last year, but the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want it to be just a standard fare cabaret. What if it could be more casual and made with friends for friends!? SO, I asked my dear dear dear friend Andy Poole, whom I lovingly refer to as m’dear ‘usband of 40 years, if he would want to make some music with me, and he gave a resounding YES! So, we’re throwing a little social gathering with music and friends! The plan is to gather from 1 - 3pm, have some drinks, make some Palentine’s Day postcards to send to friends and then at 3pm Andy and I will put on a little musical showing. After our little round of music, we’ll take a tiny break and then we’re having an “open mic” for other musical friends. We have some people that we’ve asked to share a song or two, and we’ll just go on like that until we run out of friends! If you’re interested in doing something, hit me up! It’s very lowkey and just a chance to be queers celebrating friendship with some music!

Sunday, Feb 15th. 1pm - 5pm. The Stud

Tickets

Save The Dates 📅

Sunday, March 15th

The Queer Beret presents Cruising: In Deep Ship.

—It’s gonna be wild, weird, and I got a magician.

Thu - Sat, May 14th - 16th

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll in New York!

—Yes! It’s finally happened dolls! She’s bringing her big, campy show to NEW YAWK! We’ll be playing at The Tank and I’m hoping that we sell out our three night run so keep it in your calendars and I’ll tell you more SOON!

Let’s see, the shows I’ve been enjoying. Obviously loved Plur1bus. Humanity as a hive mind? Weird and fascinating. Palm Royale. I like that this show decided to really lean into camp & kitsch. It’s not always a tonally perfect show, but honestly, the writing dialogue is snappy and funny and watching funny ladies deliver comedy in the gorgeous costumes makes it more than worth it to me. I’ve been loving the new Fallout season on Prime. Heated Rivalry. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to like this show but I loved it. I cried several times. I also just cried rewatching My Big Fat Greek Wedding & My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, so I think I’m also just getting much more sentimental in my late, early middle 30s.

One of my other goals this year is to start really reading again. I fell off hard last year, and I’m so much happier when I’m reading. Feel free to send book recommendations of titles that you absolutely adore.

Hold your loved ones close and FUCK ICE.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

“Yes, Ryan Patrick” you calmly reply, dabbing said spittle. “Time marches ever forward and the year of 2025 comes to a close, as all years previous have done.” A quick flick of the wrist flings the spittle off your fingers to the ground.

“Well, at least since the Roman calendar became the dominant measure of time worldwide” I mutter under my breath. I can be a real shit.

Your eyes narrow. “What was that?”

“Oh nothing, nothing. Just the construct of time and what not” I murmur. Why do I always do this.

“Got it.”

A terse silence grows. Your gaze never leaves me and I can’t stop staring at my wine. Did you even know we were drinking? Another agonizing beat of silence.

“HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE PHANTOM TIME CONSPIRACY? IT’S A PSEUDOHISTORICAL CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT ESSENTIALLY CLAIMS THAT THE DARK AGES ARE JUST A CHURCH TIME LEAP COVER UP AND YOU KNOW WHY DON’T I JUST LINK YOU TO THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR YOU TO PERUSE INSTEAD.”

You nod, eyes still narrowed. “I think that would be wise.”

“Cool, cool, cool emoji. Well…I…uh, just, uh….wanted to say that while the end of the year approaches I wish to tell you I’m thankful for you and for your sticking by these ridiculous emails and keeping up on the bits and bobs of my life. It’s, uh, a weird thing, convincing myself that I should continue to write these each month because people care. Obviously, not everyone reads it, and it’s for me too, but if you’re reading this now, I appreciate it.”

You finish off your wine. “You can just write the damn email. No need to personify your readership into whatever ‘this’ is. I don’t even like wine.”

“Cool, cool, cool emoji. Got it got it got it. Won’t happen again….well…it probably will.”

“We know.”

“Cool….well, thanks for the wine, then.”

“Next time we’d prefer a nice mezcal on the rocks. Maybe Casamigos? Have us bring that, instead”

“Deal.”

The end of the year is weird and wonderful and difficult. We are T-19 days until my (and so many of our) 2nd home closes. We toasted her so beautifully at the “Happy Trails” cabaret on November 30th. Snaxx started us off by singing “The Dock of the Bay” and I just started crying in the middle of it. It was bound to be a long night. I sang Jacques Brel’s heart wrenching ‘Ne Me Quitte Pas’, but altered a few of the lyrics to make it a touch more personal to Oasis and to have a little hope. “Hope is the thing with feathers” Emily Dickinson once wrote. That bird sings in our soul. Sometimes when we open our mouths, we amplify that soul bird’s song for each other. That’s what the night was, community coming together to commiserate and celebrate. SNL was also an incredibly fun way to have my last main stage production at the club. Dumb queer holigay joy for all!

It has been hard to imagine what exactly I’ll be doing in 2026 without Oasis. It’s been so present in my life, particularly these past 5 years. I will so miss walking into it and seeing all my friends. But, I now have the opportunity to take all I’ve learned & gained there and spread that out into the world. NOT THE CLAP THANK YOU. And that’s what I intend to do, even if I’m not exactly sure how I’ll be doing it. I have some ideas brewing, and maybe some exciting news to share on the horizon. Teehee.

For now, here’s how I will be closing the end of year. Much love.

The Queer Beret wishes you a

HAPPY HONDA DAYS!

Come on down and experience the magic of The Honda Days with The Queer Beret The Stud on Sunday, December 14th.

You don’t want to miss this sales event office holiday party featuring live music, queer community, and low APR Honda Days wonder.

Ryan Patrick’s Dealership for Cars, Other Cars, Those Who Don’t Identify as Cars, And Also Non-Binaries is celebrating more than just reasonably priced reliability this year. Me, my legs, and the three wise salesthems have been named ''The Most Gender-Confounding Dealership’ in the entire Trisexual State Area! We are so proud.

So don’t delay, buy your ticket today to experience the most magical time of the year for savings on sedans AND SUVs! And don’t forget to keep your gorgeous little consumer eyes peeled for those wicked Toyotathoners who are trying to steal our award!

Sunday, December 14th 6:30pm doors / 7pm show

The Stud (1123 Folsom St)

(who else is willing to take this stupid joke too far, I ask you!?)

THE FINAL PRINCESS

Final final this this, final final that that. Final prin, final cess, final final Princess! Sad emoji.

I was invited to dance back up for my good judy Helena for her number this night, and I feel so grateful I get to join everyone for the final performance of the drag show that has defined drag night life in SF for the last 5 years. Some of my fiercest, cuntiest memories were made at this party and I was constantly blown away by the numbers queens created for this show using the full scope of Oasis’ abilities. Another emotional night guaranteed, but it’s also gonna be a hootenanny! So, come on down for one last Princess and buy tickets really soon! They’re almost sold out!

Saturday, December 20th 9:30pm doors / 11:30pm show

Oasis (298 11th st) Tickets

NEW YEAR’S AT OASIS

Oasis opened 11 years ago on New Years Eve and so shall they depart us! For the past 3/4 years I have performed and attended Oasis’ New Years’ party and there’s no way I’d rather say goodbye. I just learned I’ll be singing in the champagne room at 12:40am (so somewhere between 12:30 & 1am, haha), so if you’ll already be there and want to see my final song upon an Oasis stage, THERE’S YOUR CHANCE!

I’ll be raging into the wee hours of the morning and I hope to hug you & sob with you there.

The initial tickets are all gone, but a few remain for a later 12:45am + late entrance!

Ryan Patrick Recommends!

There’s a lot of exciting things in December that I can attend so here’s a quick overview in case anything piques your little gay heart!

• Cabaret at Oakland Theatre Project - Starring my dear friend Sharon Shao, it closes this weekend and is sold out ahead but a few tickets remain at the door!

• Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair - I know Tarantino is being a real ass right now (when is he not), but Kill Bill (particularly Vol. 1) will always be one of my top films of all time. Seeing both parts back to back with a new 20 minute animated film between is my kind of heaven.

• Holiday Gaiety at The San Francisco Symphony - I’ve always wanted to attend Peaches Christ’s big gay holiday event, but have never been able to! I’ll be way up in the nosebleeds with my good friend Nicolas! Wednesday, December 17th!

• Merrily We Roll Along - I never got to see this highly lauded production of a famously difficult-to-mount Sondheim musical and I can’t wait to experience it!

• Into the Woods - ANOTHER Sondheim rec!? Yah babbby. Over at SF Playhouse until Jan. 17th it stars my dear friends Ruby Day & Phil Wong as the Baker’s Wife & Baker and local legend, Maureen McVerry, as Milky White! Insane.

In the media landscape, I recently got into many documentaries about ancient civilizations. It started off with Rome: Empire Without Limit featuring the nerdy and wonderful Mary Beard and then to The Story of Egypt led by the wonderfully kooky Joann Fletcher. I loved watching these women geek out on their historical specialities.

Series wise I’m fully on the PLUR1BUS & Palm Royale train over on Apple TV and I just devoured season 3 of The Diplomat on Netflix. All really excellent shows in their own special ways. I’m also finally working out again, so let’s hope that keeps up!

Okay divatrons, that’s all I’ve got for now. If I’m very good, I’ll do another little post later reflecting on all the things this year. If I’m not, well, that’s to be expected.

xxx,

Ryan Patrick

Anynuts, what a month it has been since we last spoke. October grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye (she stood on her tippytoes) and commanded: “EMBRACE YOUR NIGHTTIME GOBLIN, WITCH! SLEEP ONLY COMES BETWEEN TWO AND FIVE AM. MORNING ALARMS ARE ONLY SUGGESTIONS. NO WORMS FOR YOU LATENIGHTCREEP, BEWITCHING MUST BE DONE!” And thus, the curse was laid and I still find myself behexed. And despite this new sleep schedule, life souildered on!

We tirelessly pushed through an amazing production of Rocky Horror both saturated with our queer joy & marinated in our queer grief. The Rocky Horror Oasis Show was a lightning in a bottle moment; wicked, spiritual, cathartic. This production imbued the cult classic with the unique magic of Oasis as club, temple, & living room allowing the audience to fully immerse themselves in the bacchanal each night. I loved every second of it and am eternally grateful to the cast, the crew, the staff of Oasis, and every single person who came out and co-created the fantasy with us. Also, my parents came to closing night and having them be at my 2nd home and meet everyone made me cry, so thanks mom & dad.

Right after Rocky, I, of course, had to take my 7th trip to New Yawk this year. I was there M-F and EVERY DAY I saw a show & some friends. Messy White Gays, Drew Droege’s new play, was Monday night and the writing was a scream! Very clever with some devastating one liners & good pacing of plot. The performances were slightly uneven with some of the actors landing their jokes better, but I still think its worth seeing! Tuesday, I had to show my support of the Krakowski administration and see how the latest First Lady would handle Oh, Mary! Jane did not disappoint. Sharp, chaotic, and energetic, she tore up the stage and showed why she has always been so successful in the theatre. Wednesday night was Mx. Justin Vivian Bond at the Cafe Carlyle and I was in niche-cabaret-legend HEAVEN. It was my first time at the intimate venue and it felt so deliciously old world to sit in a small dining room, eat a fancy prix fixe dinner & then enjoy a delicious dessert while drinking in the Dior-draped Bond. An incredible five piece band, including an electric violin really sealed the night as one of my classiest nights out, ever! Thursday I thoroughly enjoyed Laurie Metcalf sink her teeth into in Little Bear Ridge Road, a new play that was premiering after a run at Steppenwolf in Chicago. I think the show is very well written, and I thought she just brought her character to life in a grounded, captivating manner. I thought her co-star Micah Stock didn’t quite keep up with her, but he also wasn’t bulldozed by her. I’m nitpicky. Friday morning, before my flight, I stopped by Pearl Studios to see a reading of a friend’s musical that they’ve been working on for 10 years. It’s called Gravity, and in it, a woman invents time travel to go into the future where she thinks she’ll be better understood, but accidentally travels back to Isaac Newton’s time and they meet and fall in love. But, oops! When he meets her, the apple doesn’t fall on his head and he doesn’t discover gravity, and thus our heroine must help guide him to his revelation so time isn’t forever altered. The music and lyrics are excellent, the story is funny & charming, and I think it has the potential to go very far, so keep your eyes peeled!

Then last week, Barbie Bloodgloss & I had our own little birthday party at Oasis with the help of Kitty KaPow & Snaxx and we got to live out a little fantasy on stage in front of a sold out house of friends. I would say what is was, but it was illegal, so I won’t. It was a smash with much laughter and if you were there, I KNOW YOU AGREE. It was a nice balance to my personal birthday party back in October when I had a party at my house that lasted 24+ hours. Teehee.

But enough personal dribble! Let’s get to what you all care about most: THE BUSINESS.

SATURDAY NIGHT OASIS LIVE! - Holiday Edition

Oooh, festive! That’s right my little ho ho hos! We are paying tribute to the pinnacle of sketch comedy shows, SNL, by recreating some of their most iconic holiday sketches on the Oasis stage. Hosted by Snaxx & Cheetah Biscotti and featuring musical guests, Bad Bunny & ABBA, this is not one to miss! We opened last night and the audience was eating it up!

It’s also the last big show that I’m part of at Oasis, (damn that made me really sad to write) so if that means anything to you, please come. And if you hate seeing me on stage, send an enemy and we both win!

Friday Nov. 21 & 28 / Saturday Nov. 22nd & 29th

6pm doors - 7pm show @ Oasis (298 11th st)

Tickets

Happy Trails: The Final Live Music Cabaret

A musical cabaret bidding adieu to Oasis, and D’Arcy’s Drag Laureate Step Down.

Literally everything at Oasis these past few months has been ‘Final this! and Final that!’ and it sucks but it’s also kind of funny. I want to scream “WE GET IT GIRL!”, while I’m dabbing my tears and blowing my nose. In that great tradition of ‘final this, final that’, here’s the last official cabaret I’ll be part of at Oasis. I know I literally just wrote above how SNL is the last big show, but what can you do in a season of lasts.

When words fail, we turn to song.

This final musical cabaret features your favorite Oasis singers reflecting on Oasis’ closure at the end of the year. Songs about loss, grief, memories, acceptance, and what the future may hold. This show will be deeply personal and powerful for both performers and audience alike to celebrate the legacy that is Oasis. I will definitely be sobbing.

There will also be a special ceremony celebrating new Drag Laureate Per Sia, and a step down performance by previous Drag Laureate and Oasis Owner D’Arcy Drollinger.

Featuring live band - The Tom Shaw Trio

Sunday, November 30th - 6pm doors / 7pm show

Find tickets here!

THE QUEER BERET - HAPPY HONDA DAYS

Well, it’s that special time of year again when the air gets a chill and the savings get HUGE. SO HUGE, in fact, that down at Ryan Patrick’s Dealership for Cars, Other Cars, and Those Who Don’t Identify as Cars; and also Non-Binaries, we’re inviting YOU to join us for our annual Honda Days office party! After winning the award for ‘Bestest Gender-Confounding Dealership’ in the hole of San Francisco, we want to celebrate with our customers and offer you DEALS DEALS DEALS and ask you to help keep an eye out for those wicked Toyotathoners who are jealous of our success!

SAVE THE DATE. TICKETS ON SALE SOON.

Sunday, December 14th - 6:30pm doors / 7pm show

The Stud (1123 Folsom St)

Ryan Patrick Recs

SF NEO FUTURISTS - BEST OF SHOW

One a Neo-Futurist, always a Neo-Futurist! The Neos are back with their ‘Best Of’ show, which includes all their favorite plays from the last year! This show is always the kookiest and most spirited of the shows and features the entire company! If you’ve never seen the Neos, it’s a great start, and if you have, ITS STILL GREAT. This year they’ve upgraded to the big Steindler Stage at ZSpace, so they’re really hoping to fill both shows (236 seats!) If you’re looking for something fun during the holidays that isn’t all about egg nog or big savings on cars then this is for you!

Saturday December 13th - 5pm & 8:30pm. Tickets here.

**As a side note, I’d just like to say that the Neos are one of the most formidable companies in all of the Bay. At a time when theaters dwindle, the Neos have grown and pay company members well for both their performance time AND administrative time in the company (everyone helps run the company). They released this colorful annual report breaking down what they’ve accomplished this year if you’re curious as to what they get up to. They’re losing some grant money next year (as is everyone) so they’re beefing up their individual asking campaigns. If you’ve got some extra flow, consider donating to one of the Bay’s last artistic strongholds!**

Stud Holiday Market

My sister, Sarah Catherine, is putting together a holiday market with a mixture of vintage, local artists, and fantastic vibes. Mark it in your calendar as your chance to shop local and support the community!

So I’ve finally arrived at the 7th season of True Blood, and my interest is WANING, honey. Like the show is so good and then it does really jump the shark with lazy writing and bizarre choices. I’m going to finish it like a good solider, but I gotta get into some good TV after this. I just also took in Paul Thomas Anderson’s ‘One Battle After Another’ and while I didn’t find it to be a perfect film, I thoroughly enjoyed the intense pacing, crunchy characters, and sweeping scope of a plot.

Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m noticing an intense time of upheaval and change in a lot of my friends’ lives currently. Something is shifting, and I’m feeling it too. Check in on your loved ones and give them that extra hug.

Until we next meet screen to screen,

xxx

Ryan Patrick

I share this because life currently feels like a hurricane in the small and personal ajd also in the large and worldy and I’m just an SLW (suspiciously large woman) trying her best to sit in the eye of the storm for as long as I can. My brain also often feels like like a ‘hurri-I-cane-always-do-more’. (Thank you for laughing). I constantly struggle to find the balance between relaxation & productivity in my voids of time. How is a modern woman supposed to know the difference between ‘holding herself to a high standard to get further along for her vision of herself’ and ‘not getting swept under the crushing wheel of capitalism that demands she do more to prove that she is worth something?’ This SLW doesn’t know, but she thanks the universe for providing friends who are the guiding lights in the pitch-black chaos of the future she stumbles messily into.

WHY OPEN WITH SUCH GRIM SOUNDING REFLECTIONS, RYAN PATRICK!? Okay, first, don’t take that tone with me. Second, I’m entering the final phase of my mid-thirties in 10 days and I’m reflecting like Christina Aguilera in a celebrity Disney pop power ballad cover, okay!? So often I only peer into the endless void of my desires and dreams for the future I don’t stop to appreciate what I’ve created and built to get to this moment. So, thanks for reading this and being part of the small sand dune of accomplishment I’ve created upon the infinite shores of time.

ENOUGH CHEESY METAPHORS. Life has been pretty busy from the extension of Jurassiq Parq til Sept. 13th, to the first, surprisingly successful & vibrant ‘Queer Beret - Back 2 Skool’ show at The Stud, to my trip to New York the following week in which I saw Jinkx Monsoon in ‘Oh, Mary!’ and Julio Torres’ BRILLIANT ‘Color Theories’ and many friends, to plowing into Rocky Horror tech & dress & opening last week along with a callback for a production of Hedwig (I didn’t get it, c’est la vie!) — Whew! These 8th best legs have staying spry & shapely just by keeping up with all the life has thrown at them! Now here’s some more to throw at you!

This is Aaren in the back of a van that died outside of Reno as we were driving to Burning Man. Here we are waiting on a man who agreed to sell us another van who then ghosted us. The whole story is nutso, but she was with me the whole way through like a true ride or die and this photo is SO CUTIE! 🥰 We love you, Aaren!

THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW

When I agreed to rejoin this production of Rocky Horror once again this past spring, I knew it would be the last time I wanted to bring my Foghorn-Leghorn style Narrator back. Three years felt like the perfect amount of time to have squeezed everything I could out of this kooky interpretation and someone else should have the chance to run around like a maniac in a sequin smoking jacket! Little did I know it would be the last production of this decade long run of Rocky Horror. I would have been manically depressed to have missed my last chance to do the Time Warp again in our beloved queer clubhouse. And apparently others felt that way as we SOLD OUT THE ENTIRE RUN BEFORE OPENING. We even sold out the extra Monday show we added on the 27th in FOUR HOURS. 😱

Not all hope is lost though, if you did not purchase a ticket in time. We do have a limited amount of tickets at the door every night and we’re looking for ushers to see it for free! Email boxoffice@sfoasis.com if you’re interested!

Also, I want you to know that I cried every night last week during dress rehearsals and all three opening shows as D’Arcy’s Frank ‘N Furter enchants us at the piano with ‘I’m Going Home’ and will continue to cry as the show finishes its run over the next three weekends. I’m not sure of many things in my life, but I KNOW that the universe summoned me to San Francisco because I was meant to be a part of Oasis and Oasis was meant to be a part of me. I am overjoyed to bring this fantastic interpretation of the cult-classic to my dear San Francisco, one last time.

📸 taken by Michelle Castillo.

SF Underground Short Film Festival

Well she’s in another tiny film festival! This time it’s the SF Underground Short Film Festival and I’m so stoked! This time it’s with ‘Camp Baloney’ based on a ‘Baloney’ sketch of the same name, directed by my dear friend Siyu Song. It’s campy, trashy, & pretty funny! I mean we did win ‘Runner Up in Humor’ for the Spring 2025 Hump! Film Festival, soooooo clearly those audiences have no taste! It’s also hosted by Kafka X & Piranha Psychotronica whose ‘Media Meltdown’ & 'Select Thine Own Journey’ shows are some of my fave in SF! Hope to see you there.

More info about the event, times, and tickets here!

Save The Dates

DOUBLE BDAY PARTY

It’s true. This old broad is broadening her old by advancing in age on the 25th of October. The audacity. We have Rocky Horror that evening (so I will be likely partying at Princess later that night if you want to join), but I will be sharing a more formal celebration with my Scorpio sistah, Barbie Bloodgloss, on her actual day of birth, 11/11 at Oasis! So, mark your calendars because we’ve got a delicious surprise in store for you! There will be a Partiful going out soonish.

Saturday Night Oasis Live - Holiday Edition

“You know, when we think of Christmas, we think of one thing - yeah, and maybe you do too…. bells” - Jan Hooks & Nora Dunn in the incredible Sweeney Sisters SNL Christmas sketch. After an incredibly successful first showing earlier this year (that I sadly had to drop), SNOL is back just in time for the holigays featuring some of your fave Oasis funnies. 11/20 - 11/29 (No show on Thanksgiving) @ Oasis. Tickets are live.

Words Fail - The Final Cabaret

The day after SNOL closes, we’ve got a final Oasis cabaret that I’m honored to be part of.

When words fail, we turn to song.

This final musical cabaret features your favorite Oasis singers reflecting on Oasis’ closure at the end of the year. Songs about loss, grief, memories, acceptance, and what the future may hold. This show will be deeply personal and powerful for both performers and audience alike to celebrate the legacy that is Oasis.

Hosted by Snaxx & featuring The Tom Shaw Trio.

Sunday, November 30th @ Oasis. You can book that ticket here!

The Queer Beret - Happy HondaDays!

The inaugural Queer Beret was a delightful smash and fun evening for everyone involved! We packed over 65 people into The Stud on a Sunday evening and the vibes were so high before, during, and after the show. We’re so excited to bring it back to The Stud on Sunday, December 14th for our delicious & delirious Unofficial Office HondaDays Party! Get ready for door buster deals & gossip around the water cooler AND DON’T YOU DARE MENTION TOYOTATHON. Tickets will be on sale soon!

Did you know I accidentally made a viral tiktok? It has almost 2 million views and it’s really dumb. You can watch it’s idiocy here. If you thought I was insufferable before NOW THAT I’M VIRAL I WILL BE JUST AS INSUFFERABLE. Fame won’t change me.

I read the graphic novel, Blankets, recently. It was beautifully drawn & complicated & captured the huge, inescapable feelings of teenagedom so well that I couldn’t help but weep. I devoured Foundation on Apple TV this season. I’ve started The Morning Show and enjoy it, though it can be VERY soapy. I’ve also started rewatching True Blood. I only ever watched the first two seasons on DVDs (!!) with my bestie Leslie and we would pinch each other to stay awake for another episode because we couldn’t stop watching it. As I watch again, I realize it’s essentially just soft core vampire porn, and that’s awesome. Also I have played A LOT of Hades 2 on my Switch, graciously gifted to me by my friends Jarrod & Will when they got a Switch 2. I beat the main plot and now continue to grind along and unlock more of the story at a more lazy pace. It was the perfect thing to have for the dark hole that is Tech Week.

That’s all she’s got for now. I hope we cross paths soon & much love to you all in this fabulously spooky season!

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Hey Students!

The skool year is about to kick off and I wanted to remind you that we’re celebrating this weekend with the inaugural Queer Beret! Featuring some fabulous Bay Area talent, an incredible band, and a so-so host, the night is bound to be two hoots and a half!

Dress up in your most fabulous back to school outfit or for pajama day or school spirit day or whatever makes you feel great! Just don’t disappoint me or Principal Frankenstein. We have some very dumb pre-show Orientation Day activities to participate in as you get blasted for the presentation.

The Queer Beret - Back 2 Skool

Sunday, September 14th

6:30pm doors / 7pm show

Tickets!

See your asses in classes!

xxx

Ryan Patrick

So very much has happened in the world and in my life / community these past 6 weeks. I accidentally attended the first two days of Lazy Bear 🐻 up in Guerneville with my roomie Naomi. I SAW LADY GAGA FOR MY THIRD TIME, SECOND TIME WITH SIYU, AND SHE WAS STUNNARINA. Jurassiq Parq 🦖 got called ‘The Show of The Summer’ by The SF Chronicle and we even got extended an additional four weekends with a two week hiatus in between! We’ve got two weekends left. In our two weeks off I took a brief trip to New York, where I saw many friends, danced til the wee hours of the morning, visited with family, and saw Josh Sharp’s ‘Ta-Da’ and ‘Ginger Twinsies’. Both shows were strong and funny in their own way and I was very happy I saw both. I’d give them a 7.5-8/10. I returned to our ‘City By The Bay’ 🌁 on Thursday, August 14th and the very next night I was swept away into the gorgeous, luscious world of POMPEII 🌋 as presented by Detour Dance. It was an exquisite experience and it made me so proud of San Francisco and the artists here who create opportunities for our local talent to shine! Huge congrats to everyone in involved. It was a truly special evening and I hope magic money comes and allows it the fuller, extended run it deserves. ✨

On top of all this joy, there was also the devastating announcement of Oasis’ eventual closure on New Years after 11 years. Oh, how I wept those first days after the news. How does one cope with the loss of not only your artistic home but your friends’ and community’s artistic home? How do I imagine a San Francisco without Oasis, which opened the same year I moved here? No other place has nurtured my growth as an artist and human. As I was hanging around the club a couple of weeks ago, post-Jurassiq, I was struck by the fact that while I have such an intimate relation with the club, there are literally thousands of people who have their own special relationship with Oasis whom I’ll never know. Soooo many people have been touched by the parties, the shows, and the nights they’ve had at Oasis. That thought brought a real wash of love over me for how grateful I am to have been a small part in the legacy of such a special space. I am, of course, heart broken she won’t continue on, but oh, how we made SO MUCH of our time with her. I know a major reason the universe inspired me to move to San Francisco was to find a home in Oasis and learn from everyone who walked through those doors and found community. And we are so lucky that we have four more months with her! So I’ll be squeezing the life out of every moment I can with her and hope you will too. Viva The Oasis! 🪩

Now to attend to all my lady business. We have exciting news.

💥 A NEW CABARET ENTERS THE ARENA 💥

The Queer Beret

✏️ Back 2 Skool ✏️

I have been dreaming & scheming about a BIG NEW CABARET SHOW for quite some time and she is FINALLY ready to be birthed from deep within my loins and thrust upon the stage she has so richly desired in her dreams. Enter The Queer Beret, a new variety show featuring a dazzling, rotating cast of Bay Area Talent, a live band, and hosted by moi, Ryan Patrick Welsh, aka The 8th Best Legs in San Francisco! It's always stun, always different and always B.Y.O.B. That's Bring Your Own Beret, you heathens. This show we’re heading Back 2 Skool, so stuff those backpacks, sharpen those pencils, and get ready to meet your student body & faculty at ‘Ryan Patrick’s School for Girls, Other Girls, and Those Who Don’t Identify As Girls But Who Are Technically Legal Adults; And Also Nonbinaries’. At my namesake institution, it's looks b4 books so fashion the house down, wedges and dress up 4 ur 1st day back! Dress up like yearbook photo day, pajama day, school spirit day, everyday goth look, preppy, nerdy, JUST COMMIT. Did I mention it’s at local queer icon, THE STUD!? Turn out, divas!

The Student Body

🌟 Ryan Patrick Welsh (Host / HBIC)

🌟 Chaiyn3 (Shane) (The Hot Boy Student)

🌟 Sarah Catherine Welsh (The Study Abroad Student)

🌟 Barbie Bloodgloss (Class Treasurer - MAJOR NERD ALERT)

Faculty

👹 Lisa Frankenstein as Principal Frankenstein

Music Nerds (The Gruntz!)

🌟 Noah Bossert - MD / Keys

🌟 Austin West - Bass

🌟 Nathaniel Welch - Drums

ALSO

There will be some fun(?) activities before the school day begins, so make sure to arrive early so you and your gay friends can

• Seek advice from our Guidance Counselor! #dropout

• Take a yearbook photo! #dresscute

• Participate in the Prissydential Fitness Test! #gosportsball

• Color your own beret in art class! #smocklife

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14th

THE STUD - 1123 Folsom St. SF.

6pm Doors / 6:30pm Seating Opens / 7pm - Show

Tickets available! $23 ahead / $25 at door

EXTENDED!? You bet Jur-Ass we did!

Divas! We’ve already been back for two weekends of our four week extension because the he, shes, them, thems, gays, queers, whoozits, whatsits, tooths, nails, and nonbinary librarians cannot get enough our of dino diva drag fantasia mama! THEY COME BACK. (there’s’ really no accounting for taste these days). So if you haven’t made your way to The Parq yet, you’ve only got 6 more chances before this fever dream is gone!

Jurassic Parq at Oasis

Sept 4th - 13th.

Tickets

‘Rocky’ Around The Corner!

Dust off the boas, condition those corsets, and get ready to pelvic thrust again as we bring our last immersive Rocky Horror to Oasis! This will be my third time bringing my not-so-subtle ‘FogHornLegHornesque’ interpretation of The Narrator and I am so grateful to be doing it again. It’s a treat to be part of people’s Halloween tradition and keep this show fresh and relevant for a generation that didn’t grow up on it like so many of us.

Tickets went on sale about a week ago and all the VIP seated. tickets are guaranteed to sell out, so snatch those quick!

The Rocky Horror Show

October 9th - November 1st

Tickets

Ryan Patrick Recommends 💡

The Day The Sky Turned Orange

An original hip-hop and R&B musical about the infamous San Francisco day the sky turned orange called ‘The Day The Sky Turned Orange’!? Sounds cool, I’m in.

Sept. 5th - Oct. 5th at Z Space (450 Florida St. SF)

Find more info and tickets here.

LIMP WRIST ON THE LEVER

I mean if the title wasn’t enough to get you to the show, try the synopsis. “A queer trio’s escape plan from a conversion camp takes a left turn as they face off against a straight-laced counselor with an unusual sadistic streak.” Sounds gay, I’m in.

Sept. 11th - Oct 4th at Potrero Stage (1695 18th St. SF)

Find more info and tickets here.

Any other sci-fi nerds keeping up with Foundation on Apple TV? This third season is HIGH drama and tension and every episode is a delicious cliff hanger. I also couch binged all of the third and final season of ‘Somebody, Somewhere’ on HBO and I wept every episode from joy, heart ache, or laughter. A show that is ‘seemingly about nothing’ but is one of the most accurate depictions of the beautiful complexity of people. I am so happy that show got made and really recommend it for everyone.

Happy September y’all. See you in the trenches.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

A month has passed and of course much has happened. Since we last spoke, I took my whirlwind 48 hour solo trip to New York in which I saw 4 performances, several friends, ran into someone I hadn’t seen in maybe 7 years in a 5 person audience at one of the performances, went to Harlem, Brooklyn, Cole Escola’s final performance in Oh, Mary!, got the whole cast to sign my copy of the play, and developed a crush on a very handsome boy. Why are crushes so embarrassing? Don’t answer that, just let me live with my shame. Otherwise, summer has been summering in that truly San Francisco way (predictably unpredictable weather) and all my energy has gone to getting Jurassiq Parq open!

Oh! But I also started a nearly-weekly meeting with my dear friend, Olivia, so that we may keep each other accountable and checked in and amped up and on our shit. We’ve had two meetings and I feel great and I recommend it.

Rawr.

Audiences are wild for Jurassiq Parq!

Told ya I’m punny.

This show has been no small feat to pull off and every person in this cast and crew deserves several bouquets of flowers for the work put in to make it into a reality. You can never truly know how something is until there’s an audience present and luckily all three of our opening weekend audiences lifted us with their laughter, applause, and singing along! Truly dumb & fun whilst also astounding visually, Jurassiq Parq offers a respite from the weariness of this world. Don’t believe me? Find our glowing reviews here! Now, you’ve only got nine more chances to catch this original, female led, queer as feck dino drag eggstravagaaaanza, SO GET URSELF THOSE TIX, mAwMAW.

Jurassiq Parq: A Musiqal Parody

Thu - Sat at 6:30pm. At Oasis until Aug 2nd.

Tickets here!

All photos taken by Nicole Fraser-Herron. @elephantinfantry on IG

PRNIGRAPHICA

Ooh, racy, no? Dore Alley is once again so soon upon us, and all good SF Queers know that means a celebration of our local kink & kink-adjacent communities. I’ve been asked to go-go for a new party that kicks off the weekend on Friday, July 25th and I’m excited to get all sexy and up on it. So, please, join us for an night of delicious debauchery and consensual pleasure.

Learn more about the evening’s offerings & find tickets here

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Pompeii

Step into Detour's latest immersive production, Pompeii, where multiple floors pulse with Fosse-inspired choreography, drag, and theater. In here, life is beautiful—but catastrophe is ever near.

I adore Detour Dance. They really continue to push the boundaries and expand what can be created dance wise in San Francisco whilst centering queer people, people of color, and disabled people. These people are so woven into the whole creative process that it never comes across as heavy handed “THIS IS REPRESENTATION!!!” It simply is the reality they’ve created and every show they put on is a chance to immerse in that reality. I am alway impressed and very much look forward to seeing this production. The last time I was in this space was for a very sexy Folsom party so I can’t wait to see how they use it!

Pompeii runs Thursdays - Sundays July 31st - Aug. 17th.

Storek - An NPU Venue. 155 9th St, SF.

Tickets

I’ve almost finished Dancer From The Dance by Andrew Holleran. Though it’s about gay life in New York City over 50 years ago, it still shines so much light on the psychosis of homosexual life. Sometimes it hits so close to home I simply MUST put it down for a few days. Lines like this really get me: “You remember the eyes, as beautiful as bare trees against a sky: naked, cold, as they glance at you for a moment and then look away. Years pass loving such eyes. And the only way you know you’re older is that you (once loved by older men) now find yourself loving boys younger than you…” Devastating.

Otherwise, I’ve absorbed the first half of the second season of The Sandman (though the Neil Gaiman revelations made it tough) & currently I’m enjoying playing Hyrule Warriors on the Switch after my friends gifted me theirs upon getting the Switch 2. Bless their generous hearts.

Until next time, my dino divas.

xxxx

Ryan Patrick

What a complicated time to be visibly queer! But honestly, when isn’t it?

Less than 6 months into the Trump administration and we’ve seen a significant assault on the rights & very existence of gay, queer, trans, lesbian folx in our country. The erasure of Trans people’s existence from the government websites & files, the defunding of HIV vaccine research, and now the shut down of the LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention hotline are just a handful of examples in the wave of targeted hatred against our community. Now, more than ever, we must remember that Pride isn’t just a party, it’s a protest. As shown by the No Kings Protests ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY last week, our nation is disgusted by the cruel actions and rhetoric of our current government. Let us continue to gather, rally, and remember our collective power! There are also so many great organizations to donate to at this time which are helping in the fight and also providing the care for our community in wake of our government’s defunding. Now is a great time to set up a recurring donation or two! I give monthly to The Trans Lifeline.

Consider The ACLU, The LGBT National Help Center, El/La Para TransLatinas, Lyric for LGBTQQ+ Youth, or countless others!

One of the other balms for our weary hearts is community and art! I’ve been very fortunate to have both over this last month. I attended an incredible sing through/ singalong of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumor’s at Martunis led by Joe Wicht with an incredible band; I cried several times at Ray of Light’s production of Next To Normal; I howled with delight at the queer magic of Sasha Velour’s ‘The Big Reveal’ at Berkeley Rep; I screamed at my friend Shelby’s Tony party when Cole Escola won Best Actor for ‘Oh, Mary!’ These are the moments that carry me through the heaviness.

I also lost my grandmother last month. She passed on Saturday, May 17th around 8pm ET. It wasn’t fully unexpected, but it came faster than we thought. Luckily, I was able to return home the next week for the wake & funeral with my sister, Sarah Catherine and could stay a little longer to help care for my mom, who broke her ankle badly two days after my grandma’s passing. When it rains it pours and all that. It was lots of raw emotion clashing up against each other, but still gorgeous to be with family.

I’ve written a tribute to her life and what she meant to me. Have a read if you like :)

I’m flying to New York for an insane whirlwind 48 hour trip in which I’ll see ‘Titanique’ before it closes (WITH Marla Mindelle!), Cole’s final weekend in Oh, Mary, ‘Roachee Baby!’ at The Tank, and possibly an hour of Mx. Justin Vivian Bond’s Pride Cabaret ‘Well, Well Well’ at Joe’s Pub because I’m f*g for art.

And now for the art I do.

My beautiful grandmother, Bernadette, with her accordion (and her prayer card).

Jurassiq Parq - A Musiqal Parody

Hath thou ever desired to see me slayeth in 6 inch heels AND 6 inch talons, daddy!? No? Well, then skip this, Shakesqueer! But if you screamed ‘Why, yes, I hath yearned for such long hand and foot accessories on thy body, queen’, then get thee to the funnery, ho! I’m in the Lady Raptor Squad and we are bootsing the jungle down!

Join Dr. Laura Dern, Jeff Ian Malcolm Goldblum and the rest of the gang as they venture to a mysterious island where dinosaurs are alive… and singing chart-topping hits of the 90s, 2000s and today! Featuring outrageous drag, fierce dance, over-the-top puppets, dino divas, and soaring pop vocals, Jurassiq Parq is the immersive campy queer sci-fi nostalgia of a millennial's wet dreams. Audiences are encouraged to dress up and sing along in this original take on the 1993 film that shaped a generation.

Jul 10th - Aug 2nd

6:30pm at Oasis

Tickets

SEX, CAMP, ROCK ‘N ROLL

37th, 38th & 39th time’s the charm!

Photo taken by Nicole Fraser-Herron. @elephantinfantry on IG
It’s a huge privilege to have performed this show so many times. I never thought I’d work on it for so long and continue to enjoy it and have it feel honest. Huge shoutout to Snaxx for booking us back in December whilst I was in the throes of my depression. What a light at the end of the tunnel.

This was the best version of the show, yet, and it was reflected in the comments of friends who were seeing it for a fourth time ( there’s no accounting for taste, anymore). People complimented how tight it was and that made me so proud. Edinburgh sank this show into me so deeply and I still love performing it. Thank you to the brilliant weirdos, old & new, who made this run of my mad queer fantasia possible. Thank you to Oasis for having us back. It was so good to be home on that stage. And thank you to all who attended and shared your laughter and tears with us. I am such a lucky gal.

Pride Weekend

Grunt

Thursday, June 26th @ The Stud. 9pm

This party is for the big sexy boys & lovers of big sexy boys. Sexxxy beats, dark room, hot ass gogos. Ya boi is werkin’ the door, so if you’re a friend of dorothy who gets down, cum thru and check all them big boiz out. Presales.

Trans March

Friday, June 27th - afternoon in Dolores Park!

Like I said, girls, Pride is a riot and now more than ever I need to feel that fire, resistance, and love IN my favorite city in this country. I’ll be going with some friends, but if you need someone to march with, hit me up! Learn more here.

Dirty Boots

Friday, June 27th - evening - The Stud

Ya like western, workwear, & classic men’s wear, my lil’ faggioli? Well then come check me out working the clothes check at Dirty Boots that Friday night, back at other, other home, The Stud, babbbyyy. Honestly, the music & style of this party is v sexy to me & so are the men who attend. Swing on by, partner! Tix.

Quiche

Sunday, June 28th - SOMArts Gallery - 8pm - 2am

This is the only party I’m attending at Pride and it is the only one I cannot miss. A gorgeous-gorgeous-gathering-and-get-down with, Quiche is it, girlfriends. My favorite crowd, music, & setting. Who doesn’t want to be a dirty lil queer raving at an art gallery next to the freeway? The tickets are sold out, but it’s worth asking around!

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Next To Normal

This is one of the best live-sung shows I’ve seen in San Francisco in my ten years here. The band is so hot and the vocal blend is divine. The night I saw, the mics were a little off in the beginning, but it soon corrected and I wept several times during the show. The New York Times called it a ‘feel everything musical’ and it’s so apt. Info & Tix.

Sweet Charity

DAMN. How could I not share this stunarina photo of The One & Only Ruby Day, who is currently starring as Charity in Sweet Charity at San Jose Stage! Yes, it’s San Jose, but bigger yes, it’s Ruby Day! I know she’s crushing it and I can’t wait to see it! I’ll be there on Saturday, June 28th for the evening show! Learn more & buy a ticket!

I’ve started reading ‘Dancer From The Dance’ for the first time to celebrate Pride. Also, Poker Face is back on Peacock and is campier than ever. Will I see some of you at the Mayhem Ball next month at Chase Center!? How much longer are we going to be talking about Blake Lively!?

Have a safe & joyous Pride. See you in the jungle.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

Summer, 2012(13?). I’m in my early-mid-twenties crop-top-donning demon twink era. I also manage a hipster coffee shop and hang out with almost exclusively lesbians, activists, and service industry folx. As a degree holding musical theatre graduate, I still audition for shows and perform if I’m cast. To my surprise, I nab the role of Frank ‘N Furter in a production of The Rocky Horror Show. Never in all my high school, college & post-college years had I been cast as a lead in a show, so this was major for me. Rehearsals begin in September. In the fabulous world of Frank ‘N Furter, I discover that I have stage presence, comedic timing, and a ‘colorful’ way of singing. I learn that I am very comfortable with the feminine side of Frank but don’t quite understand how to embrace Frank’s masculinity. I’m not sure if I ever got there in that production, but that struggle set off my own gender journey which continues to this very day. I am proud of all the work I’ve put into this production, how I’ve grown as a performer and I want people to see it!

My parents make plans to come down from Long Island with my brothers. My mom mentions on the phone that my grandparents are interested in joining. I hesitate. I’m not sure I want them there. To be clear, this is not an unusual request as my grandparents came down for every show I performed in during college. They also saw my senior recital in which I did many gay things on stage, like diet drag, and romantic scenes….with a man! Gay gasp! They were big Catholics, but very into loving Jesus vibes, not the fire & brimstone hell vibes, so my sexuality never presented an issue for them, and if it did, they didn’t let on. They always called me their “Number 1 Grandson”* because I was the first grandchild born to them.

*Later, this nickname would be proven a lie when we learned my mom’s older sister had a son out of wedlock and my grandparents sent her to live with the nuns to have him! They were stricter Catholics then. Luckily, many years later my aunt found him, and now our whole family has a relationship with him, his wife, and daughters. It’s pretty remarkable, and I’m happy to be technically be the #2 Grandson. It’s also wonderful to see how my grandparents evolved as humans.*

Despite their proven track record with loving and accepting me, I still have big reservations. Sure, they had seen me be a bit fey on stage but Frank ‘N Furter is in-your-face big hair, big make up, big sex! I’m on stage singing, screaming, or humping nearly nude for an hour and a half. Could I ever be comfortable with them seeing me that way? I express my reservations to my mom and she understands. She reminds me that they love me and want to support me. How can a girl say no to that? So, down they come.

October 2012/3. The audience is ON tonight because we are on. My nerves are giving me a jolt and I’m ‘in it’. Halfway through Act I, I finally clock my family midway up the bleacher style seating. My grandparents are towards the middle of the row. I don’t have the time to register if they’re enjoying it. The rest of the show flies by and suddenly we’re reprising The Time Warp for the curtain call. Standing ovation, including my grandparents. Nice.

After the bows and the undressing and wiping off as much make up as I could, I enter the lobby to see my family. I feel good, but I’m still nervous about the reaction from my family, particularly my grandparents. They all greet me with smiles, hugs, and congratulations. The fag has not disappointed them. Finally, I come to hug my grandmother, Bernadette. We share a deep embrace and she looks up at me and exclaims “You’ve got a terrific butt!” My grandfather chimes in “He’s got great legs!” What did I have to be nervous about? I am the happiest lil queer in all of DC that night.

My grandmother, Bernadette, was born on November 23rd, 1933 to Frank & Nellie Mazane. She was raised in the East Bronx with her younger brother Frank. At the age of seven she discovered an accordion in the closet and asked her dad about it. Quickly her parents discovered her natural talent and signed her up for piano and accordion lessons. Her talent earned her acceptance into the High School of Music and Art in New York City (Now The Laguardia High School). She would go on to compete and win The Chance of a Lifetime talent show in 1953 and later appear on The Arthur Godfrey show.

I find it fascinating that my grandmother had such success early on in life, because you would never know it from meeting her. She was not flashy, boastful, or someone who craved the limelight. At one of the annual Cieciuch (chet-choo) family Christmas Days at our house, she shared with me how in her youth she was often woken in the middle of her sleep by her parents to come downstairs and entertain the party with her talents. My great-grandmother, Nellie, would sing for the guests as Bernadette played away. Now, Nellie WAS flash. She was still alive for much of my childhood and I have a distinct image of her in our kitchen on a stool in a leopard print robe, a pot of coffee next to her, with a cigarette in hand holding court. The room seemed to gravitate around her and her gravely smoker’s laugh. She was also an alcoholic. Nellie was fabulous but I can only imagine what it was growing up with her as a mother. My grandmother’s younger brother, Frank, also had some resentments about all the attention Bernadette received in their younger days. With the combination of an alcoholic, attention-seeking mother and a slightly resentful younger brother, I understand why my grandmother would crave a smaller, steadier life than that of a full-time artist, which she easily could have been. She would find that life with my grandfather, Richard Cieciuch.

They met on a blind date set up by her piano teacher, Wanda Gibosh. They married on December 3rd, 1955 and enjoyed 64 years of marriage until my grandfather’s passing in 2020. Throughout their marriage, she taught piano, played organ in church, and was a four-time champion at the Oyster Bay Golf Club. After my grandfather stopped working for the airline, SAS, they opened their own travel agency, Rich-Bern. While Rich was the personable salesman at the helm, Bern was the tireless engine managing the day-to-day operations of the business. The way they ran the business was a reflection of the way my grandparents were in their lives. Pop-pop was a gregarious man, who loved to speak of family history, share long-winded stories, and exclusively watched PBS and The Arts channel. Grandma was always the woman behind him, but not in the ‘lesser-than’ sense. He always proudly and lovingly spoke of my grandmother. While Bern was a terrific golfer, Rich was lousy by comparison, but that never stopped him from being proud of his wife for being the superior golfer. How atypical of a man! That’s only one example of the ways he never dulled her shine, only polished it more.

As we’ve been flipping through photos upon my grandmother’s passing, we’ve found many snapped by Richard of Bern, looking effortlessly beautiful and in love. They lived a life of deep Catholic faith and shared their love with other Catholic couples through Marriage Encounter and Pre-Cana. Every Sunday, she coaxed gorgeous tones out of the organ in church and as he would cantor. She was the music that lifted his and I’m blessed to have so many memories of them making beautiful music together.

As a child, I was actually a little bit afraid of my grandparents. Not because they were mean to me, but because I was a lone child in a world of adults, and sleepovers at their house meant only healthy food! WHERE ARE MY CORNPOPS! As I said, earlier, I was the “first born grandchild” on my mother’s side so family gatherings were mostly adults and then eventually my younger siblings with me. I had some cousins that were close in age as well, but they were in New Hampshire and Colorado so they didn’t make it too often. On my father’s side, I was the 6th grandchild of an eventual 17 and one of four cousins born in 1989. They all lived on Long Island or in Westchester County so Welsh gatherings were for the kids! I was incredibly shy around adults in my youth and my grandparents were no different to me. I was always lovely and obedient around them, so I could quickly escape to the world of my gameboy.

Despite this shyness and fear, I still loved them and had many great experiences with them. One of my favorite childhood memories is of them taking me to see Beauty & The Beast on Broadway when I was around 9. I remember sitting quietly in the back of their pristinely kept car with tan leather seats that still smelled fresh, despite its age. I was eldest of four kids, so our cars were much messier by comparison (though, my mother would be angry if I didn’t mention what a clean car she keeps! Hi mom!) Being the eldest of four, also meant there were hardly any ‘just Ryan Patrick’ events, so this outing was all the more special. I hardly remember the show, but do remember feeling dazzled by the show and deeply loved by my grandparents.

Luckily, I matured out of my shyness (lucky for who, you’re probably asking), and would come to revel in spending time with grandparents, particularly around the piano. My sister, Sarah Catherine, had always sung at family gatherings as she had studied voice in middle & high school and my grandmother accompanied her for many of her recitals. I only got into the action once I started studying musical theatre in college, which gave me the courage to throw my lot in. Here, I learned many tunes from the Golden Age of Broadway singing along with Pop-Pop, as grandma effortlessly accompanied. If Ever I Would Leave You, Some Enchanted Evening, They Call The Wind Maria, The Impossible Dream. Those songs will always be the songs of my grandparents.

Every family gathering on my mom’s side was filled with the gift of music and song, led tirelessly by my grandmother’s enormous talent. The music always came a few hours into any party, after the necessary catching up and the vodka that lubricated said catching up. We’re Polish! After a drink or two, a sly smile would appear upon Bernadette’s lips and she’d rise to make her way to the piano. She’d strike a chord, or run up a scale and off she’d go. Before anyone sang, she’d light up the party with one of any innumerable pieces stored in her fingers. Our favorites were always ‘Linus & Lucy’ and ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’, because they’re bangers and Bern sailed through them like ‘no big’. Flight of the Bumblebee always sent us into a tizzy! Then came the singing. Solos, duets, group singalongs, sometimes we’d get some beautiful barbershop harmony from my grandfather, his sister Jorene, his brother Bob, and his cousin, Ronnie. Our family always hosted Christmas Day for the Cieciuch side of the family and inevitably every Christmas night after dinner and dessert, neighbors and family friends would come to our house and pack into our living room because the party was going off! There is no greater joy and community builder at a party then singing around a piano. So much of my youth is defined by those get-togethers and the warm feelings they brought. None of it would have been possible without my grandmother’s gift and her endless generosity in sharing it with us.

Saturday. May 17th, 2025. A standard grey, cold San Francisco morning. The type that burns off by 1. I get the call from my mom. “Grandma is going to pass away soon. We’re on our way back to see her. Give her a FaceTime to say goodbye.” The world hazes. I had just opened the coffee shop I work at alone. Luckily, the first hour is always slow. I make the call. My second cousin, Eileen, picks up and holds the phone up to my grandma. She’s already in a comatose state. I thank her for all the love, laughter, and music. I tell her how much I love her and I know she’ll be with me. I tell her I’ll make her proud. I say goodbye.

Her death is not a full surprise; she had entered hospice care just a few days earlier, on Wednesday. She had been in strong enough spirits and health, though, that my mom, dad, Aunt Liz & Uncle Steve kept their plans to fly to Denver to see Sting at Red Rocks that weekend. My grandma entered her ‘passing state’ as soon as mom & dad arrived in Denver. They all turned right around.

At the wake, our family friend, Julie offered that my mom & aunt’s departure is what allowed my grandmother to comfortably enter that state. “She would’ve kept holding on for them, otherwise.” I find comfort in this, reflecting on the special bond my mom & aunt had with her, particularly in the last five years, since my grandfather’s passing. The long drives, the medical appointments, the personal visits, the annual 2 week trip to Florida’s west coast in February or March, the daily phone calls. All three were so intertwined that my grandma couldn’t have let go with them around, but she was ready.

I was always very reasonable when thinking of my grandma’s inevitable passing: “She’s old.” “Things keep getting harder for her.” “The care is so much work for my mom & aunt.” “She’s told me she’s ready.” But on this grey San Francisco morning, grief shatters my shield of reason and the little boy inside me weeps for his dead grandmother. No more full body hugs. No more throaty laugh. No more music. The day continues in a blur and the owner allows me to close up early. I need more than a moment before the closing performance of my show, ‘Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll’ that night.

Backstage at the show, I am quiet as I prepare. I share the news with everyone involved as we gather for our “places!” tequila shot. They anchor me with their friendship and support. I sail through the show, gracefully & grand-fully on the wings of my grandmother’s love. Before the final song, I share the news with the audience and offer some words about her life. It feels strange to acknowledge her directly during a show in which I literally hump the stage, but, didn’t I feel that way during Rocky Horror over a decade ago? She loves who I am and I know that all my queer cabaret chaos directly links back to a seven year old Bernadette discovering an accordion in her family closet over 80 years ago. How lucky I am to be part of her musical legacy! It is a privilege to share the gift of her love and love of her gift with an audience on her final night in the physical world. I finish the final song with tears in my eyes, taking comfort in the knowledge that she is forever a part of me.

I’ve been weeping a lot for our dearly departed, Bernadette, in this past month. She is the last of my grandparents to pass on and there is a certain loss of innocence and youth in her passing. I know many are not so fortunate to have a grandparent in their life for 35 years, but I was and now that generation of my family is gone. There’s a generational ascension for the rest of us. Death is a time of change and evolution, which is both beautiful and painful, drudging up the rawest emotions. We’re all older and I am no longer someone’s grandchild. Grandma always said I gave the best hugs. I can still feel her arms around me. When did I get to be this age and how is it possible I’ll never experience her warm embrace again?

My whole family is fortunate that we got as much time with my grandmother as we did. Since my grandfather’s passing in early 2020, she stayed with my family and both of my aunts for extended periods of time, took an annual trip to Florida, saw two grandchildren get married, and celebrated her 90th birthday surrounded by all of us. And that’s on top of all the holiday gatherings, the dinners, the 50th wedding anniversary cruise to the Bahamas, the phone calls, the birthday cards and all the other interactions of a life full of love. I got to have a beautiful lunch with her and my mom in early April and I am so grateful for that.

Bernadette Mazane Cieciuch was a wonderful woman. Loving, generous, patient, and unafraid to offer up some dry honesty in her later years, she was a centralizing force in our family. She embraced and celebrated my queerness and my passion for theatre and cabaret. She listened to everyone with an open heart and mind, teaching us all how to lead with love and kindness. She celebrated all her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She read avidly, loved watching golf, and cheers-ing with a manhattan or gimlet. She led a life that all of us hope to model. I miss her something fierce.

Thank you for the music, Bern.

Enough meta commentary from me, though. Allow me to fill you in on my adventures, because there have been MANY.

My DC / New York trip in the earliest weeks of April was a wonderful whirl of amazing friend times & art. I reminisced beautifully in DC about my youth. It’s where I went to college and spent my early 20s. I ended up working and then managing a hipster coffee shop called Big Bear, where I met so many people whom I’m still friends with today. Friends who accepted my incredibly campy, ridiculous musical theatre self and taught me how to actually be cool. My post college years hold many of my most joyous memories. The unbridled optimism of youth and cool, poor friends who said ‘fuck yes’ to any batshit idea, some cool performance gigs. I learned I could sing at the piano bar at Shaw’s Tavern with Jill Paige. I studied voice in college as part of my musical theatre degree, but was terribly unconfident in my ability and genuinely was not that great. Shaw’s was the first place I learned to have fun and relax while singing, which in turn made me a much better singer. Jill is so nourishing to singers and wants them to succeed and specifically, she gave me so confidence in myself and I’m always grateful to her for that. Her piano bar has now moved to a new, actual piano bar that’s in an alleyway in Union Market, which is pretty cool, tbh. I got to visit on my last night in DC and my heart swelled to see, hear, and perform for those friends again.

New York was a huge reunion trip for a group of four of us who used to live in DC together in those joyous years I mentioned. We called ourselves The Madams on Adams, and still call each other ‘my madams’. Three women & a fagguette having the time of their lives in the neighborhood of Bloomingdale. We still text all the time, but live in different areas and don’t get to see each other, so this trip was years in the making, really. We hung out on a Saturday in Brooklyn at one of their apartments and 12 hours just FLEW by. We had a friend’s photoshoot in Prospect Park and then other friends joined us back at the apartment for the rest of the night. I was laughing, gabbing, reminiscing with friends I had barely seen in 10 years and it was effortless. My soul was on a high for a week after that trip.

New York also contained two incredible theatrical experiences. ‘Oh, Mary’ with Titus Burgess (my fourth time seeing the production) and ‘Sunset Boulevard’ with Nicole Scherzinger. Titus was a scream and Nicole took my breath away. If you’re reading this newsletter, I don’t need to convince you of ‘Oh, Mary’s’ brilliance, but I am so stoked that it received 5 Tony nominations, two of them for Cole Escola. They’re a true treasure. I will take a moment to say that Sunset Boulevard is likely my favorite theatrical experience of the past 5 years or so. It is a TREMENDOUS production. The stripped back, noir interpretation is flawlessly executed by a stellar ensemble and lead cast. The video work is captivating, enriching, and exciting! The audience BURST into applause at the entr’acte into the song ‘Sunset Boulevard’ belted out gorgeously by Tom Francis. The end has us gripped with anticipation and by the curtain call standing ovation I barely registered that nearly 3 hours had passed. If you are going to, or are in New York, GO SEE THIS. If I was in New York I would have already seen it again.

April in SF passed by beautifully with Kirkland rehearsal and performance (more on that below) and Kylie Minogue, the glittery, sparkling gay diva at Chase Center. That was a lot of fun.

And THEN, there was Beyoncé. Oh, Bey, oh, bey, oh bey, oh bey. A couple of years ago, I figured out that on rollercoasters I don’t scream, I just release these tiny gasps while my face is frozen in rapture / terror. That was my face at The Cowboy Carter Tour at SoFi Stadium last week seeing her for the first time. It feels impossible to impart the revelation that Beyoncé is as multi-faceted entertainer. There are her impeccable vocals, which she chameleons through a range of styles, genres, and attitudes effortlessly & believably. There’s her incredible dance ability in which she moves as well as if not better than her back up dancers. And then there’s her unmatched stage presence and craft. Every moment she knows where she’s going, where she’s looking, performing both for the audience in the pit immediately around her and the camera for the rest of the stadium. The concert is a Super Bowl halftime show for THREE HOURS. How does she possess that stamina!? She did not actually just ‘wake up like this’. She has grinded her whole life to constantly be better and grow. I think we can all see how that’s worked out for her. Her work ethic and ability is so inspirational to me as an entertainer. My whole soul feels wrung out and freshly inspired. I’m ready to be fabulous, again.

Come with me and learn of my freshest sweet offerings.

Captured by Michael Gallo at our Madams photo shoot.

SEX, CAMP, ROCK ‘N ROLL

The ‘Almost-Three-Year Leather Anniversary’ Edition

Hard to believe I haven’t dusted off this show since August 2024, but here we are 9 months later. This is the longest break I’ve ever had from Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll. It’s been nice to have time away, but I’ve missed it. The costumes, the crying, the screaming, the jokes, the audience that lifts you when you’re down. The makeup, the dancing, the singing, The K*ntz!, the sherrif that escorts you out of town.

The show grew a LOT in its time away at the Edinburgh Fringe. I, too, grew at lot at said festival. Performing the show 20 times in 3 weeks, allowed me to feel less precious with my work. I want to experiment because I want the show to continuously be better than the last time. I’ve made some alterations to the order of the show. We cut a song and added in a new one. WE EVEN HAVE A NEW K*NT! Em Dwyer is taking over for Ruby Day in this run (booked & blessed, baby!) and Sharon and I are over the moon. We had a lil rehearsal the other night and we were laughing around the kitchen table when Em just nailed a new tagline for the show.

“Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll, a show that touches people and then they touch themselves.”

Now, that’s my kind of K*nt!

I’m so looking forward to bringing Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll back to the Oasis stage, where she was birthed almost 3 years ago, June 30th, 2022. It’s evolved from a 2.5 hour rambling yet fabulous queer happening into a tight, well-oiled & choreographed, 80 minute theatrical experience! And that’s all possible because you come & offer your support to this silly, little gay show of mine. If you’ve loved the show in the past, tell a friend, if you hated it, tell an enemy, and we both win! So, please, join me once again, for a night of story, song, and sensuality on my favorite stage in the city.

Sex, Camp, Rock ‘N Roll 🎸

Thu. May 15th - Sat. May 17th.

6pm doors / 7pm show

Oasis

Tickets

SATURDAY NIGHT OASIS LIVE

I guess I’m gonna find out if I’m funny in sketch comedy, since it’ll be my first time. Come watch me thrive or bomb! Both can be funny…..I hope. More about the show below!

“In honor of America's longest running variety and sketch show turning 50 this year, we're taking on SNL - Oasis style!

Come watch some of your favorite most iconic sketches performed by some beloved performers from the Oasis stage. Skits like Church Lady, Wayne's World, Bronx Beat, Target Lady, and more! We'll also be featuring a different musical act from the SNL vaults each night!

We love LIVE - anything can happen. Come witness the chaos (and brilliance) in person!! It's SNL - Bigger, Louder, and Gayer than ever. Isn't that special?!”

Saturday Night Oasis Live 🎤

Thu. May 22nd - Sat. May 24th

6pm doors / 7pm show

Oasis

Tickets

Trixie Mattel’s Solid Pink Disco

Well babies, guess who’s getting back on stage with Gay America’s favorite entrepreneur / doll-come-to-life, Trixie Mattel. It’s me. Good guess.

THIS FRIDAY, I have the honor to shake my not-so-little booty and recently beefafied body in pink as fun, glittery disco beats are spun at the Fox Theatre all night long! Honestly, it’s so fucking cool that I get to dance on stage at The Fox Theatre. It’s truly my favorite venue in the Bay Area, so fuck yeah! The night features local DJ Adam Kraft (Fake & Gay), VINCINT, DJ Mateo Segade, and of course Trixxie Mattel herself! Huge shoutout to Trixie’s designer (and my good friend) Amie Sarazan for recommending me.

So if you want to come have a gay old time in Oakland, join us this Friday night!

Solid Pink Disco 🪩

Friday, May 9th

The Fox, Oakland

Tickets

Trixie Mattel has partnered with PLUS1 so that $1 from every ticket sold will go to The Ally Coalition’s work to support homeless and at-risk LGBTQ youth.

Kirkland: A Signature Parody Musical Recap

Look at these joyous hambones! 🐷

It was a staged reading for the ages, darlings! We packed 140+ people into Oasis on a Monday night and they ate us and our free samples UP! Laughter and joy filled the room as our stacked cast just knocked every joke & moment out of the park. I’m so proud of this cast, Leslie, Claire, and myself for providing a night of pure dumb fun, which is so needed in the never ending shitstorm of politics right now.

There will DEFINITELY be more Kirkland! in the future, so keep your eyes and ears glued to this mailing list. 💋

Ryan Patrick Recommends

Comptons Cafeteria Riot

In 1966, three years before Stonewall, the Tenderloin district of San Francisco became the stage for one of the first acts of organized LGBTQ+ resistance in the United States. The queens and transgender women who gathered at Compton’s Cafeteria weren’t just meeting for a meal—they were building community and finding strength in their shared struggles.

When police harassment pushed them too far, they took a stand. Their bravery sparked a riot that changed the course of LGBTQ+ history.

This is the story of their resilience, their defiance, and their fight for the right to exist.

Written by Collette LeGrande, Donna Personna, and Mark Nassar
Directed by Ezra Reaves

Produced by Tenderloin Museum

I had the great honor of doing a little choreography for this show and what a fun time we had! Featuring a stacked cast & design crew of local trans talent, this show is the balm we need in this time when trans people’s stories and contributions to society are being ‘erased’ from our government and their lives and wellbeing are under constant threat. I’m so happy that this show exists in San Francisco in the only historic trans district in the WORLD. And, THE SHOW IS GOOD. GET THEE THERE ALREADY!

Find dates, times, & more info here!

Mimi & Jo - A Developmental Reading

MIMI & JO—a new play by Olivia Swanson Haas—is a queer coming-of-age love story set to music that explores the intimacy of creative collaboration, exposes the pain of hindsight, and attempts to reconcile the gray space between attachment and abuse.

My dear, sweet friend, Olivia Swanson Haas, has written a new play with music (which she also wrote) out of her viral 2024 Autostraddle essay, I Had an Affair With My College Dean. As you know, I have supremely talented friends and excellent taste in art and I’ve no doubt this play will be great!

She’s fundraising now for a staged reading and has already reached her initial goal, but has set a new stretch goal! So, if you like supporting artists in our endeavors and have a few extra bucks to kick around, please contribute to her campaign! It’s also a great way to stay abreast of when the reading will happen if you’re in New York!

Learn more and donate here.

Girl, it is a good time to be alive and watching television. I lived for the third season of The Wheel of Time. Each season has vastly improved from the last and the third really hit the show’s stride giving us drama, good comedic relief, and FIERCE evil lady fashion. I loved Severance, though was sad I got limited Patricia Arquette time this season. That woman devours any scene she’s in. Hacks AND The Last of Us are giving me life now.

As always send me your recs, what’s making you tick, etc.

See you in the spotlight.

xxx

Ryan Patrick

The 8th Best Legs in San Francisco in MY Vagina!? It's more commmon than you think.

Did you hear it's June, already!?

If you'e been reading these newsletters at any regular consistency, you might be aware that I like to start these babies off recounting the activities of my life. However, this week I'd like to just give a lil shoutout to my parents.

Cath & Tim celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary just last week! 35 years! The only thing I've ever done for 35 years is be alive! Well...almost. 35 years is no joke and I've been there for pretty much as long as my parents have known each other. I've seen the ups, the downs, the stolen kisses, the eye rolls, the harsh phone calls, the teary make ups, but above, below, and through all of this I've seen tremendous love. Love for their community. Love for their family. Love for each other. 

This past Saturday, I was having a very blue day, and I knew I needed some love. I facetimed my mom because parents love facetime. When she picked up and asked how I was and I said 'okay' she immediately asked 'really?'. Moms just know. At lesat my mom does. She was actually just about to start a movie with my dad and instead they chatted with me for 45 minutes. Cheerleading me, laughing with me, and being the best. You know, I still snuggle with them when I go home. I am so fortunate.

Cheers to Cath & Tim on three and half decades of love. Thanks for giving me the gift of your love. It is woven into my DNA.

Sex, Camp, Rock 'N Roll  Fundraiser Update

We're sooooo close!

Photo by Nino Ellington. Graphic by Sharon Shao.

I am deeply honored by the generosity our community has shown to us as we prepare for our transatlantic journey. It has served as a beautiful reminder that so many people believe in us & the work we've done with evolving Sex, Camp, Rock 'N Roll. I know that money is not love or kindness or friendship. It is not our embraces, our smiles, our shared laughter. It doesn't pick up our facetimes when we need to feel seen. It can't celebrate our victories. It doesn't cheer in the audience, be it a stage or personal one. No, money is not what really matter, but it fucking helps to have it. So, a huge thanks to the over 100 friends and family who have given, so far! Thank you for championing us.

Because of that generosity, we're only $3,500 away from our 20k stretch goal! Holy crap! We've got three days left in our campaign. It ends 6/14! Can you help us cross the finish line? 
(And like any modern fundraising email, you know I've future opportunities to click the link if you're not sure now. Let me throw in some more personal touches for you)

Today, we had our first of three rehearsals for the Edinburgh Fringe and honey, IT WAS SO GOOD. We are staging the hellll out of the numbers, spicing up the music with fresh sonic morsels, and giggling the whole way through! I can't believe we continue to find more ways to ramp up this crazy ride, but the ideas just pour out of us. How lucky to have great friends who even greater collaborators!

Will you collaborate with us in getting to our 20k stretch goal?
 (How's THAT for a fundraising segue! Still not beguiled? Try this!) 

This morning I woke up at 6am, stricken with panic about finding a keyboardist for the show. We are less than 2 months from opening our 21 show run and still no one!? Yikes! When I got to rehearsal with Ruby & Sharon this morning, I shared my fear and immediately they sprung into action with texts and instagram stories and within two hours we had several responses. We've got someone! I couldn't believe it. And yet, I could. This show has always benefitted from Ruby & Sharon's conviction and connections. So many great musicians have joined The Gruntz! because of Ruby. Sharon got Patrick Dooley to come see the show, who gave us the run at Shotgun Theatre! They have a fabulous network because they are fabulous people. Their magic is imbued throughout Sex, Camp, Rock 'N Roll: on stage, behind the scenes, in the rehearsal room. They're my heart & soul. My life support. My catheters. 

Okay, that was a weird last metaphor, but maybe it made you laugh and that's a plenty good reason to give us money, yeah?  
Will be funny for munny, hunny. 

Listen, I don't want to have to ask you for money, but I do. We have so many things to spend it on, like the 2nd apartment we'll have to rent for our newest team member! You can say that you're part of the journey of a show that critics will undoubtedly deem "an assault on taste, both good & bad". 

Oooh and here's one last chance to take your money. 
Photo by Nino Ellington

All For Love

Despite being full steam ahead for Edinburgh, I've still got more gigs!

Welcome to my second staged reading this year, and I'm a lead! I was going to say something reductive about 'its only four people anyway so blah blah blah', but fuck that. I'm a lead and that's cool af.

It's an original musical written by Donald Currie and the director John Davis about Donald's life! The show tells the story of Donald growing up as a gay boy in San Francisco in the 50s and 60s and catapults all the way through the next decades up to the present. I'm playing his younger self, falling in and out of love with his college drama professor whom he dropped out of college with to create a theatre commune. Definitely something I would have done if I'd be in SF in the 60s. 

I love the script and story is truly fascinating! I hope you'll come and join us!

Sunday, June 23rd
3:00pm
NCTC
25 Van Ness Ave
Free!
Email if you'd like to go

Infinite Pride!

Listen, I'm tired, so I'm not going to anything for this section except copy the copy for this show because it's already funny & good & again, I'm tired.
 

What’s up Gay Area?! Are you ready for the sexiest, nastiest, wettest, wildest, homo-est Neo-Futurist show of the year?!?! We bet you are, you little art sluts! ;) That’s right, it’s time for INFINITE PRIDE 2024!

Join us for a very special three-show(!) performance of INFINITE PRIDE at iconic SF venues OASIS and El Rio – featuring some of your fav hot queer and trans SF Neo-Futurists, racing against Gay time to perform 30 Gay Plays in 60 Gay Minutes. There will be laughs, tears, sweat, and queer blood pulsing through our veins as we serve up piping hot performance art written by us, for you. Anything can happen. Be there or be straight. (Allies welcome.)

50% of proceeds will benefit The LGBT Asylum Project, a nonprofit providing accessible legal services to LGBTQ+ immigrants seeking protection in the United States. Help us support their work!

INFINITE PRIDE is an annual tradition and special edition of the SF Neo-Futurists’ critically-acclaimed weekly show The Infinite Wrench. Since the SF Neo-Futurists’ founding in 2013, they’ve written and performed over 3,000 original short plays. The ensemble has been called one of “22 San Francisco things everyone must do” by the San Francisco Chronicle, and has won a number of local awards, including “Best Theater Company” in the SF Bay Guardian’s Best of the Bay 2019 and 2017 Readers Polls.

Tuesday 6/25 @ Oasis, 7PM & 9:30PM
Wednesday 6/26 @ El Rio, 9PM
Snatch your tickets here!

The Reopening of Gingers!

Things that have happened

Amy Winehouse: A Tribute Cabaret

A week ago, I was delighted to take to the Oasis stage as a part of an Amy Winehouse tribute cabaret. The room was filled with love & the stage was packed with local talent, from Snaxx, to Shiksa, to Honey Mahogany! We were all graciously backed up by the Tom Shaw Trio & closed with a (relatively unrehearsed) group number of Our Day Will Come, and it just so happens the daughted of the lyricist of that song was in the audience! What a small world.

You can watch me singing my favorite Amy Winehouse song, 'I Heard Love Is Blind' here.

350 Parts Per Million: A Staged Reading

Saturday the 13th, I also had the joy of taking part (and being the tallest by far) in a staged reading of a new musical about climate change called 350 Parts Per Million. The show focuses around 16 year old Cora Mariposa, who unwittingly becomes the leader of a youth-led climate movement after standing up to fossil fuel promoters. I was said fossil fuel promoter, along with playing a high schooler (lol), doctor, reporter, teacher, and MADAM PRESIDENT. It was a blast and I was blown away by the talent of the high schoolers I worked with and the writer & composer, Marisa Mitchell. I can't wait to see where it goes!

👏  Ryan Patrick Recommends! 👏 

There's no other Pride party I'd rather be at than this one. Quiche is the best party out there and goddess knows I'll be there all evening and night making my final night of trouble in SF before I leave for two months starting in July! Hope to see you on the dance floor!
Tickets

Watch Fallout. Watch La Veneno (been rewatching).Watch Dancing With The Devil: The 7M TikTok Cult. 

I head on two months of travel on July 1st. What!

I keep you close in my heart.
Ryan Patrick