I didn’t grow up trick-or-treating—I was in Brazil’s countryside as a child—and yet, as a thirty-year-old, my favourite holiday is probably Halloween. Not because I love horror. If you’re here, you know romance is always my pick. Nor is it because of the autumn weather or the orange leaves scattered across the ground.

No, I love Halloween because I get to dress up. For one night a year, I can wear a strawberry beret without feeling too maximalist, and put on my shortest skirt without being (too) judged.

I suspect I love it so much because I grew up afraid of expressing myself. It took too long to find my personal style (probably still haven’t), since I thought following trends and other people’s choices meant “fitting in.” Well, on Halloween, being the most unique, creative, and bold is exactly what you need to fit in. And if I have a hard time taking a compliment on a normal day, on October 31st, I can’t wait to hear how good my costume looks!

Perhaps this confidence comes from the idea of wearing a mask. Except, in my case, it’s never an actual mask, but bold makeup that fits the theme. Too scared to fill in my eyebrows? I got to have the thickest ones in the room when I was Mr Bean last year. Too shy to put on orange blush? It was what completed my costume of Perry the Platypus.

It’s a chance to try colours and shapes you would never have allowed yourself before, and there’s a sort of freedom in that. No need to worry whether it suits you or matches the palette from your colour analysis. It’s Halloween anyway. It’s not you who’s wearing it. Not the you from every other day.

It’s also an escape. Even though you might get too drunk and end up losing half your costume by the time you get home.

Like every other major holiday, Halloween comes with its own expectations. Christmas has its presents, New Year’s Eve its midnight kiss. Halloween, however, asks something different of us: to become someone else for one night. You could pretend you have a superpower—or maybe make your partner dress up as your childhood crush. But expectations have a way of disappointing us, and as November comes around, so does the return of your everyday wardrobe.

So you know what I do to fix the blues? I find other excuses to dress up. It’s not the same, but it can scratch that itch before the next one comes around.

And don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The latter was actually my favourite holiday until last year, when I realised how much I enjoyed showing people my previous costumes. Those chaotic pictures had become some of my most treasured possessions. On no other day would I spend £60 on materials just to get burnt by hot glue and end up with an imperfect hat that won’t even last the whole night.

Maybe that’s the beauty of Halloween. By pretending to be someone else, we get to explore the parts of ourselves we usually keep hidden. And sometimes, finding a fictional character that encapsulates who you are is what allows you to be the most authentic version of yourself. Think of Allie in Off Campus, letting herself dance and be flirted with as though she were J.Lo in a music video.

Maybe that’s why I love it so much. For one night, I don’t have to worry about fitting in by being like everyone else. I get to belong by being unapologetically myself—and paradoxically someone else too. Because there’s nothing wrong with needing a little costume to get there.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

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This was written and published on Medium in 2022. Here is a newly edited version.

Staring at the word online right below his name, I realised he was not dead or in a coma. He just decided not to respond to my five messages from three days ago, which were replies to a wider conversation.

No, he was alive and well—and had ghosted me.

In the times of dating apps, we have all been ghosted, and we have all ghosted someone. It’s different when you had a connection, though. Or you think you did. Not that long ago, you were having deep, meaningful conversations about family diseases, past heartbreaks and childhood traumas. It had been a week before since he sent you pictures of the dish he’d made to show how impressive it looked. The same dish you had told him was your favourite. Surely, that was too much effort to just decide it wasn’t worth even finishing a chat.

Stage one: Obsessing

After one day of being aired, you become obsessed with checking your notification previews. No matter how overwhelming work or social life is, every time WhatsApp or Instagram’s logo pops on your screen, you hope it’s their name. Then you get disappointed when it’s your best friend or mum. Then you feel guilty that you got disappointed in the first place.

Stage two: Forecasting

By day three, you start predicting when they will emerge again. You remember that time when they replied at 11 pm, apologising and blaming the busy day at work. So, every day at 11 pm, you have this false hope of getting another apology text. You read back your texts from weeks ago to decipher his average response time, looking for patterns like a devoted Swiftie after a new song is released.

Stage three: Excusing

By day seven, you create excuses in your head for their absence. You never know; they might have been hit by a car, or they could’ve dropped their phone in the toilet seat. You picture their phone sitting there in a bucket of rice. Of course, the guilt starts accumulating, because you should be angry and disappointed. You should know he’s just not that into you.

Stage four: Fantasising

By day ten, you start fantasising about all the things you would say if they ever reach out again. How you didn’t even notice they were gone. How you’re too busy to talk now, but you’ll get back to him later. You hope you’ll have the opportunity to have the last say when it comes, because besides guilt, you feel embarrassed. Like somehow it’s your fault—you should’ve been funnier, laughed with more ‘lol’ instead of ‘hahaha’. Or whatever else your brain can come up with.

Stage five: Actioning

By day lost-count-of-days, you need to feel in control of the situation. Or at least believe you have some. It’s time to feel sorry for yourself. It’s time to move on. So you decide to remove them from all social media. You pretend it was also your decision to lose contact. And maybe the ‘order of factors does not alter a product’ type of thing applies to being ghosted too. What matters is that eventually you lose interest in talking to them again. You accept that it’s all good riddance.

When we met, he told me he was a bad texter, but I didn’t care, because I was already falling in love with the potential. Then being ghosted forced me to grieve it, as if I had truly lost a future—one that only existed in my head. Somehow, I’d have dealt better with him being an actual ghost, like Sam Wheat.

If you’ve been ghosted (or have ghosted someone), then subscribe so you don’t miss the next Single POV essay.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

If you’re a fellow romance lover like me, your idea of Halloween is probably more whimsical than horror-like. I get the appeal of fake blood and scary makeup, but I’m a strong believer that you don’t have to go down that route. You also don’t need to be slutty version of every profession or animal possible.

Instead, we can use Halloween (or any other excuse) to dress up as our favourite romantic heroines. If you’re worried people won’t recognise you, fear not; here’s a list of ten costumes too iconic to miss.

1. Princess Mia from The Princess Diaries

As someone who’s done this one before (I still adore these pictures), I can promise you that you do feel like a princess! A 2yk one, no less. The best version for dressing up as Princess Mia is the poster, where she has the headphones and sunglasses on. You probably already have everything but the gloves and tiara.

2. Sam from A Cinderella Story

At Hillary Duff’s concert, I saw some girls dressed specifically as Sam wearing the white dress and the apron over it, and I thought it was a genius idea. It’s perfect for duos because your bestie can be Fiona (the scene when she is about to get a “quick burn”). Make sure you also get the LA blue hat!

3. Viola/Sebastian from She’s the Man

That was my friend’s costume at my recent “main character” 30th birthday party. Not only is it super funny and recognisable because of the tampon in the nose, but you can just borrow a tie and blazer from a male friend or even your dad. So really the only thing you need is a wig—of course, unless you have a pixie cut, which would make the idea even better!

4. Cher from Clueless

This is the best one if you’re into fashion. I’d honestly wear the outfit on a normal day, but it’s so Cher-coded that it would be instantly recognisable! Another option for solo, a duo or a trio: you can go as either just Cher, Cher and Dionne, or Cher, Dionne and Tai!

5. Vivian from Pretty Woman

The list wouldn’t be complete without at least one of Julia Robert’s characters, our queen of 90s romcoms. This is maybe the most recognisable on this list, since with a quick Google search you find recreations of this outfit ready to buy. And if you want to make this a couple costume, all your partner needs is a nice suit

6. Gracie from Miss Congeniality

Feeling bad ass? Then why not pretend you’re an FBI agent undercover at a beauty pageant. Even though Miss Congeniality is underrated compared to other 2000s romcoms, I doubt people at your Halloween party won’t know who you’re dressed as. If you have a glittery pink dress, this is your sign.

7. Jenna from 13 Going on 30

I recently dressed up as Jenna as she wakes up in the pink slip dress (honestly, I love it) for my 30th party, but the outfit below from the Thriller dance scene is, for sure, the most recognisable. Plus, even Amazon sells knock-offs with this design. It can’t get easier than that, but you do have to do the hairstyle too!

8. Sally from When Harry Met Sally

Halloween being during autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere) makes this costume even more perfect. Just throw on a red sweater, a black skirt and tights! Then, of course, curl your hair in Sally’s 80s style. If you have a low-effort boyfriend, even better; he just needs jeans and a white sweater to go out matching with you.

9. Elle from Legally Blonde

There are so many iconic outfits from this movie, but there’s something cheeky and meta about copying her costume to a non-costume party. Besides, dressing up as a bunny will always be one of those classics on Halloween—even if people don’t recognise it from Legally Blonde, you’re still well-dressed for the occasion.

10. Georgia from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

If you think only British people would know you’re Georgia, just imagine me as a 13-year-old watching Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging on my computer back in Brazil. Like the one above, you’d be better off copying her olive costume instead of a normal outfit, but I think it makes it even more special.

If you want more romcom content, make sure you’re subscribed to Flick & Lit to get more recommendations of the best media made for chicks.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Up until last Saturday, it had been five full years since I’d celebrated my birthday. As in, sending invitations to people to gather at a certain date and location solely because it’s your day.

In 2021, I was 25, single, still new to London, and looking to live big. So, I booked a naked painting session and a night out. I walked to the club carrying a painting of a naked torso, which I left in the cloakroom before dancing through the night. It wasn’t a party per se, but I had fun.

Perhaps it was because we could finally travel again after COVID, but from then on, I decided to go on holiday every birthday. They all gave me beautiful memories, just not the usual getting gifts, singing happy birthday and looking around a room full of people you love. Of course, I still did something with my mum and sisters, usually bottomless brunches. But the thought of putting a lot of effort into a party where you’re the main attraction was... scary.

Because if people don’t show up, then, well, surely it’s because they don’t love me enough. I know that’s not rational or remotely close to the truth, but it’s one of those tricks the brain plays on you. What if the room ends up being just my mum and me, consoling me and saying, ‘It’s because they’re all jealous of you, my baby,’ the same way she would when I was at school?

It’s not even that I believe the number of people equals the amount or quality of love. I know people with two best friends who couldn’t be happier, and people who know a lot of people but are still lonely. So why do I care so much?

Partially because of what people will think, of course. It’s still the same pursuit of being the ‘cool girl’ as at 15, watching every other girl go to Disneyland for their birthday and feeling embarrassed for not doing the same. But it’s also the fear that everyone in your life is just being nice. That you’re not special enough to be worth a long commute, a gift or cancelling other plans.

And it’s not just the celebration itself. I’d also get into a bad mood looking at how happy my friends were at their own parties, secretly jealous of how many people they knew or how brave they were for inviting them in the first place. On my own birthday, I’d spend too much time waiting by my phone to see which friends or family members would remember to message or call. I’d make a mental note of it all, so I could repay—or not—the gesture. I didn’t want to be the lame one who cared too much.

This year, I decided I’d be lame instead of cool. I spent my birthday hiking and snorkelling at the beach, only worrying about replying to all the lovely messages instead of counting how many I got. And I invited my close girlfriends to watch When Harry Met Sally at an indie, cluttered London film shop. Sally is far from the stereotypical cool girl. She’s high maintenance, yet I doubt her party would be an empty room.

I still cared when people chose another birthday over mine, or ended up being at a hen do or abroad. But when that little devil on my shoulder started whispering that it was because I wasn’t worth it, I looked at the Notes app on my phone, with all the other people who had confirmed they were coming. And when the day arrived, even though we had a popcorn crisis and I was too anxious trying to make everything look perfect, seeing everyone together reminded me why I’d wanted to throw a party in the first place.

Friends from different phases and places in my life clashing to watch one of my favourite films being played by a lovely older man on 16mm. My mum, who ran to the shop to buy 12 packs of popcorn so I wouldn’t have to. My work bestie, who took two hours to get there, but was still excited to go. People who don’t love romcoms like me, and dressed up as main characters, because I gave them a silly little dress code.

It’s funny because I’m pretty bad at wishing people happy birthday on the right date. Just this year, I forgot to message two really good friends. They both turned up at the party, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t make a mental note of it.

Growing older is realising that your friends are a reflection of you, and that you want to be more and more like them. I don’t want to be jealous of the brave ones; I want to be brave. I want to be the friend who shows up and who doesn’t keep score. Because when I turn up for them, they turn up for me, too.

I’m finally learning how to enjoy my birthday. It’s not because I’ve stopped caring about who remembers or who shows up, but because I’m beginning to understand that love doesn’t always look the way I expect it to. Hell, if I can’t even live up to the high expectations I put on myself, how can anybody else?

I don’t need to start throwing a party every single year, or force myself to be excited about it for months in advance. I can throw one every now and then, when it feels right, and allow myself to be loved spontaneously. It could look like a separate get-together to compensate for being away, or as a reply to a story instead of a call, but it’s still there.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Still looking back on the thirty years of life behind me, I thought it would be fun to share the 30 pieces of media that changed me—and made me who I am today. Whether a book, film or TV show, each one changed something in me. Some changed the way I saw myself, while others inspired me to make decisions I might never have made otherwise.

So, here you have it: a very honest list of the 30 books, shows and films that changed my life. They’re a little predictable and less performative than I would like, but they’re all special.

Books

• A Marca de uma Lágrima by Pedro Bandeira — This Brazilian retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac was the first book I read in my early teenage years that made me enjoy reading. It was also the first time I saw a portrayal of body dysmorphia.

• A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini — I read this after it was recommended to me, but I didn’t expect it to burst my bubble so drastically. It’s a beautiful novel that follows two Afghan women across three decades, from the 1970s to the early 2000s.

• Dom Casmurro by Machado de Assis — I never liked reading classic novels in school, but I remember enjoying this one, especially the lore of Capitu and her possible affair. I personally think she never cheated.

• Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick — I was obsessed with this series when I was around fourteen. I thought it was a masterpiece, and the concept of a fallen angel fascinated me. Weirdly enough, I have not read any of the popular romantasies.

• The Fault in Our Stars by John Green — Like many zillennials, I too sobbed while reading this book (and watching the adaptation). You can bet his first adult novel, Hollywood, Ending, was automatically added to my TBR after it was released on 22 September.

• In Cold Blood by Truman Capote — A required read during my journalism BA, I still wonder how he could capture such a vivid depiction of a crime he wasn’t there to witness. It gave me a new appreciation for the occupation.

• A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie — Not a book per se, but I had to include it. Chimamanda is my friend’s favourite author, so she gifts this to all of her female friends since it’s a must-read. Short, but powerful.

• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig — This is such a good example of how fiction can make you reflect on your own life and feelings. I wonder if I found myself in a mystical library that shows me the infinite versions of ‘what ifs’, if I’d still do it all the same.

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert — Truly a life-changer, because after I read this non-fiction book about living a creative life, I decided to write a book. I never saw inspiration the same way or took it for granted again.

• Happy Place by Emily Henry — My favourite Emily Henry book, and the one that made me want to read the rest of her portfolio. Seeing how beautifully she writes romance, and how much she’s brought new readers into the genre, inspired me to write fiction myself.

Bonus: I know my manuscript is not quite a book, but it did change my life, so I thought I’d add it here too. Maybe one day it’ll be available for you!

TV Shows

• Kenan & Kel (1996–2001) — To this day, my sisters and I use quotes from them as inside jokes. Nickelodeon gave us many iconic productions (I loved Zoey 101), but I dare say this is the best.

• Rebelde (2004–2006) — A global phenomenon; of course, I was also obsessed with it. Mostly because of my older sisters, but I do listen to the soundtrack when I need a little nostalgia.

• Floribella (2005–2006) — If you’re not Brazilian, you probably won’t know it, but this telenovela was incredibly whimsical. She had a Converse-style shoe that I made my mum buy for me, and it was my most precious item!

• The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (2005–2008) — It was hard to choose one Disney Channel show because I loved them all, but I was particularly obsessed in this. It might be because of my crush on Cody, or because I had never been to a nice hotel.

• Phineas & Ferb (2007–) — When everyone was moving on from Disney, I was still watching it all day. And I’m glad because otherwise I’d have missed out on one of Disney’s best shows (with the best songs too).

• Awkward (2011–2016) — Second-hand embarrassment was the cure for feeling embarrassed in real life as a teen. Oh, the number of times my sister and I repeated “You’re welcome” and “Sorry, Not Sorry.”

• Teen Wolf (2011–2017) — Another MTV banger! Though I was enjoying Twilight, if I had to pick one supernatural production, this would be it. I can’t explain how much I was obsessed with Stiles.

• Friends (1994–2004) — Besides making me laugh, it gave me the delusion that I could live in the same building as all my friends and hang out with them all the time. That’s why I loved it so much; life was less complicated.

• Sex and the City (1998–2004) — probably my favourite of all time, and it’s what kept me from freaking out even more about turning 30. It’s probably why I even have this Substack, to keep the column dream alive.

• Normal People (2020) — It might not have meant as much to me if it hadn’t been for COVID, but with no distractions, you could really pay attention to the quiet love story. It made me pick up Sally Rooney’s book and opened up a whole new literary world for me.

Films

• Monsters, Inc. (2001) — A cliché, I know, but this particular Pixar movie was one of my favourites when I was little. The colours, the textures, the humour… it was addictive! Maybe Boo influenced me to wear so much pink.

• Bridge to Terabithia (2007) — I think I’m still recovering from this movie, and probably still dehydrated. It’s beautifully heartbreaking, and the secret kingdom of Terabithia somehow felt real.

• The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003) — Hilary Duff’s comeback (I saw her this month and it was one of the best nights of my life) reminded me how much this movie means to me. Also A Cinderella Story, but I had to pick just one!

• A Walk to Remember (2002) — Not because of the movie itself, which is a good old Nicholas Sparks classic, but because my aunt was obsessed with it. While I forgot so many movies I’ve seen, I never forget watching this with her and my sisters.

• White Chicks (2004) — It changed the song A Thousand Miles for everyone, and to this day, I don’t think there’s another movie that makes me laugh that much. It also didn’t age as badly as some other 2000s comedies.

• Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) — This movie changed my life so much that I still have a crush on Logan Lerman. I know a lot of people weren’t impressed with it, but I thought it was so good that I read the whole series.

• The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) — I always talk about this one, because it’s so underrated. It came on TV randomly one day, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. If you’re a daydreamer, then you need to watch it.

• About Time (2014) — One of my favourite movies of all time. It really taught me not to take the little moments for granted, because those little moments are what life is made of.

• Notting Hill (1999) — I can’t really remember the first time I watched it, but I remember seeing it again when I moved to London, to Notting Hill specifically, and just feeling so inspired by it. It’s just as special to me as the city is.

• The Love Hypothesis (2026) — A brand-new addition because, if you follow me, you’ll know I went to the premiere earlier this month. It was my first romcom premiere in London, and I was so grateful to be there. I know I’ll never forget it!

Have any of these also changed you forever? If you decide to give any of them a try, do come back and tell me your thoughts.

If this list gave you at least one new read or watch, make sure you’re subscribed to Flick & Lit to get more recommendations of the best media made for chicks.

Sincerely,
Renata 💋

I know, you’re probably thinking Here she goes again, talking about turning thirty. I already told you how I was freaking out about it and even shared a letter to my 20-year-old self. I guess the end of a decade is a lot to wrap your head around. And my head is very much not wrapped; in fact, it’s still spiralling, wondering if I made good use of the past ten years. Did I get wiser at all? Or am I in the same place mentally?

Though I still haven’t figured out the secret to becoming the rich auntie—or even controlling the redness on my face—I have gone on many first dates, rekindled with childhood crushes, fallen in and out of love, broken up with someone, been broken up with, and so on. Through all of that, there were many tears and a few lessons learnt.

As my birthday is in two days, I thought it would be fun to gather 30 lessons from the past 30 years—Dolly Alderton-style. Some are obvious, but you’d be surprised how hard they were to finally accept, and some might only make sense to me. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

1. You can have low self-esteem and feel broken, and still find true, healthy love.

2. The person you love won’t fix these self-esteem issues—even if you thought being loved would change how you see yourself.

3. Loving yourself means knowing you’re worthy of other people’s love when you make mistakes too.

4. You don’t need to be beautiful (based on beauty standards) to find love. Plus, that model-like girl you know might be struggling just as much.

5. Being yourself will put potential romantic partners off, and that’s always a good thing.

6. Writing a list of the traits you want in a romantic partner actually works (at least for me). It’s not magic, but it does help you realise what you’re looking for.

7. You don’t need the same taste in film, music, or hobbies to be compatible.

8. Everyone experiences the link between attraction and romantic feelings differently; neither is better than the other.

9. Sometimes, your platonic crush is better off remaining platonic.

10. Nerds make the best boyfriends.

11. Someone who has never been in a relationship before is not less of a partner material. They can be the best ones.

12. If you don’t want to split the bill on a date, don’t offer to. You might think you’re just being polite, but non-Latin men take the offer more often than not.

13. Being a jealous person is 90% dependent on the person you’re with. They just don’t make you feel secure.

14. You’ll never scare your person away, but you can still push them away.

15. When you start self-sabotaging, come back to what you feel and want right at that moment.

16. It’s easy to mix up obsession with passion, but the first is usually tied to the person you wish they were.

17. “The one” can be temporary; if they felt like the right person at the time, then they were.

18. Similarly, if a relationship ended, it doesn’t mean it didn’t work; it did while it lasted.

19. You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings, but you can still take emotional responsibility.

20. Someone who loves you shouldn’t stand in the way of your dreams (I’m looking at you, Ross Geller).

21. Love shouldn’t be unconditional or given just because of blood or time spent together.

22. Breaking up early on is much harder because you never got to see what could’ve been, but the what-ifs aren’t real—and there are bad “could’ve beens” too.

23. Once you get used to (I mean literally) sleeping with someone, it’s incredibly hard to sleep alone.

24. Dancing in the living room is more romantic than standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

25. If you date a man who doesn’t mind you saying you hate men, then he’s a good man.

26. Love between friends also needs work, quality time, and difficult conversations. Just as much as romantic love.

27. Age differences (within reason, obviously) don’t matter, as long as you’re in the same stage of life. That goes for friends too.

28. With a little patience and communication, an intercultural relationship can have just as much understanding as any other.

29. Fiction can also teach us about love; think When Harry Met Sally and growing to love someone’s quirks, or 13 Going on 30 and learning what is the kind of love that really matters.

30. There’s always more to learn about love.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Whether you go to Disneyland every year wearing your Mickey Mouse ears or not, I know Disney movies were probably a big part of your childhood. Even if you didn’t watch them repeatedly, they were in school supplies, at friends’ parties and basically everywhere. Knowing your favourite film from their 1990s-2000s catalogue is kind of the girl’s version of picking a football team when you were a kid. Sometimes, you find yourself defending Little Mermaid’s choices or making your partner watch a live-action version of Lilo & Stitch.

Well, I think all of these experiences can say a lot about your taste in movies and storytelling in general. If you, like me, could see yourself in Peter Pan (something I wrote last week), then you might still crave coming-of-age stories. So, here are all the movies to watch based on your favourite Disney movie.

Beauty and the Beast

• Watch: Penelope (2008)

• Read: Bringing Down the Duke, Evie Dunmore

A whimsical romcom where an outcast must find true love to break a curse? Yes, please! If you love Beauty and the Beast and wondered what that would look like in a modern (well, 2000s) world, where the ‘beast’ is actually the girl, then Penelope must be your next watch. For your next read, Bringing Down the Duke follows an intelligent and brave heroine in the 19th century as she plots against a duke. He’s not a beast, but he’s plenty brooding and cold.

Cinderella

• Watch: Maid in Manhattan (2002)

• Read: If the Shoe Fits, Julie Murphy

Cinderella is my favourite princess, and as a Latina, of course I’d choose Maid in Manhattan. Just like Cinderella, JLo’s character Marisa is a maid who ends up spending time with an important man. In this case, a politician (which is basically the new monarchy anyway). If you’re looking for a retelling, If the Shoe Fits features a plus-size woman as our princess, going to a The Bachelor-like reality TV show!

Mulan

• Watch: Miss Congeniality (2000)

• Read: The Unmatchmakers, Jackie Lau

If you love Mulan, you probably love the undercover trope. Miss Congeniality has not only that, but also a strong female lead who has to prove herself inside a male-dominated space. It’s such an underrated romcom from the 2000s that it deserves more love. For a read, pick up The Unmatchmakers, where the Chinese-Canadian Leora is a hopeless romantic, but her mother rejects the fairy-tale idea and doesn’t think she needs a man—sounds like a modern un-telling of Mulan.

Peter Pan

• Watch: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

• Read: The Someday Garden, Ashley Poston

A classic for another classic. If you haven’t watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off already, it’s a chaotic one-day film in which he tries to have a perfect day without taking any responsibility. It’s a real anti-adulthood story, just like Peter Pan. For a more whimsical Peter Pan-like novel, The Someday Garden features a magical, out-of-time garden and a man trapped inside. Very Neverland-coded, if you ask me.

Aladdin

• Watch: Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

• Read: The Stand-In, Lily Chu

If that rich-people fantasy is your thing, Crazy Rich Asians gives you the modern version, minus the magic carpet and genie in a bottle. Instead of discovering a magical kingdom, Rachel is thrown into the world of Singapore’s ultra-rich when she meets her boyfriend’s family. Plus, in The Stand-In, you get the hidden identity trope. The FMC is struggling financially to pay for her mother’s dementia care when a megastar offers to pay her to pretend to be her in public, giving her a very Aladdin-esque chance to step into someone else’s world.

Frozen

• Watch: Little Women (2019)

• Read: The Tiny Magic Bookshop, August Bloom

Obviously, for Frozen, it needed to be one of my favourite groups of sisters. Frozen and Little Women have sisterhood at their core and are a cosy choice for a winter watch. Though the second has fewer superpowers and talking snowmen. The read is less sister-focused, as The Tiny Magic Bookshop is a mix of magical realism, a winter backdrop and a main character grieving her mother.

The Little Mermaid

• Watch: Aquamarine (2006)

• Read: It Happened One Summer, Tessa Bailey

Having just rewatched Aquamarine, I could not recommend anything else. The changing nail colour is absolute cinema! It’s not just the mermaid similarity; the film also captures the same genuine curiosity about a different world and the naivety of looking for true love. And It Happened One Summer is basically Ariel’s story with a billionaire socialite instead of a mermaid, and a grumpy fisherman instead of a prince.

Tangled

• Watch: The Princess Bride (1987)

• Read: Beach Read, Emily Henry

The Princess Bride was one of my picks for Peter Pan because it has plenty of adventure and pirates, but it just fits so well with Tangled. We have a princess in love with a farm boy, and an epic quest to rescue her. Beach Read is my recommendation if you want the idealistic and realistic dynamic, with some family drama but none of the road trip.

The Princess and the Frog

• Watch: The Prince & Me (2004)

• Read: Act Your Age, Eve Brown, Talia Hibbert

In both The Princess and the Frog and The Prince & Me, we have a hardworking, focused main character falling for a wealthy, privileged and irresponsible prince. Minus the voodoo and frogs. Now, Act Your Age, Eve Brown is kind of the opposite. We have an FMC who needs to sort her life out and become more responsible, whereas the MMC needs to loosen up and have a life outside of work.

Snow White

• Watch: The House Bunny (2008)

• Read: Beard Science, Penny Reid

The House Bunny is another example of a woman reduced to her looks, who ends up becoming an outcast in another house with very different people. In this case, the dwarves are other women who are just not the same stereotypical pretty. I mentioned this movie in an essay before, because I genuinely love it. To read, Beard Science gives us a heroine whose beauty is obvious to everyone around her, but who is also sheltered and controlled by her family.

Bonus: Meant to Be collection

If you want to take this whole idea one step further, Disney actually has its own Meant to Be collection of adult contemporary romances, where authors reimagine classic Disney stories for modern readers. The already mentioned If the Shoe Fits is one of them, but they have many others. By the Book brings Beauty and the Beast into a publishing house, Kiss the Girl follows a pop star inspired by Ariel, Tangled Up in You gives Rapunzel a cross-country road trip, and Worth Fighting For puts Mulan in the world of private equity. So, if you read this entire list and craved an official retelling in book form, Disney has already done the work for you.

If you have a favourite Disney movie, let me know in the comments and make sure to subscribe to Flick & Lit.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

I used to think it was impossible to relate to a male character. Then I realised I was basically Peter Pan of relationships.

Well, not exactly. I’ve been in a happy, monogamous relationship for almost four years, which firmly puts me in the long-term relationship category. Clearly, I can commit. So why do I still feel so much like the boy who never wanted to grow up?

Because I love the beginning of relationships. Like childhood, the beginning comes without pressure or responsibility. Your only job is to enjoy yourself and figure out whether you want this person in your life. There are no shared calendars, no conversations about bills, no arguments over who should be putting the bin out. Just curiosity.

When you’re young, “forever” is too abstract to picture. It’s less of a destination than a feeling. And I’ve always been drawn to that feeling, to potential. To everything a relationship could become before it has to become anything at all.

I don’t want the fights about chores or the awkward conversations about money. I want the exciting bits: learning someone’s favourite childhood film, staying up until 2 a.m. talking, discovering all the tiny things that make them who they are. That’s probably how Peter Pan saw adulthood too. Why trade endless adventure for responsibility?

Even when I imagine getting married, I struggle to picture what comes after the wedding. I can imagine the dress, the speeches, the celebration, everyone gathered in one room. But then comes the quiet part. The photographer leaves, and there are no perfectly framed black-and-white photos to romanticise what comes next. It’s just life: ordinary, repetitive, occasionally messy. Am I strange for not craving that as much as we’re told to?

It’s not because I think relationships should be all butterflies and fairy dust. If anything, I’ve seen enough relationships to know they aren’t. That’s almost the problem. I know exactly what’s waiting on the other side of the honeymoon phase.

Neverland doesn’t exist in real relationships. Or maybe it does, and it’s called a situationship—which, ironically, I never wanted. I craved security too much for that. That’s the contradiction I’ve never quite been able to resolve: I want the safety of a long-term partnership, but I miss the adventure of discovering someone for the first time.

Maybe the answer isn’t to keep chasing beginnings. Maybe it’s to keep making space for them. To become the version of yourselves who still ask questions instead of assuming they already know the answers. The people who went on that first date and talked about dream careers, embarrassing childhood stories, or their parents’ divorce because everything was still waiting to be discovered. No matter how long you’ve known someone, there is always another version of them you haven’t met yet.

The chore arguments won’t disappear. Neither will the conversations about money or whose turn it is to buy toilet paper. But maybe adulthood isn’t about replacing adventure with responsibility. Maybe it’s about hiding little pockets of adventure inside responsibility. A date night where you ask each other questions you haven’t thought to ask in years. An admin evening with a bottle of wine. Or pulling a Claire and Phil—sorry, Clive Bixby and Juliana—and pretending, just for a few hours, that you’re meeting for the first time again.

For a long time, I thought I’d end up like Peter Pan, watching my Wendy leave Neverland to build a real adult life while I stayed behind, recruiting new Lost Boys and saying goodbye over and over again.

Now I wonder if growing up isn’t about leaving Neverland behind at all. Maybe it’s about learning to build a small piece of it inside a life that’s real.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

As I was writing a letter to my 20-year-old self, I thought about how many movies or TV shows were ideal for this last decade of my life. With that in mind, I’m sharing what I think are the one piece of media to watch in every single year of your 20s. From Normal People to Frances Ha, they encapsulate that phase of your life, making you feel seen or even giving you hope for the future.

If you’re indeed still in your 20s, please comment below if you’ll give this piece of media a go!

20 = Booksmart (2019)

Just like Amy, I was a good student throughout the school years, and I didn’t let myself enjoy drinking and parties until I was older. If you’re the same, maybe Booksmart can show you that good grades don’t have to be your whole world. Though the movie is set during school, I think the years in university are the most fun, so you can’t let them go by without letting loose for a bit.

21 = Legally Blonde (2001)

Let’s start with a classic! I thought everyone in their 20s would already have watched Legally Blonde, but I found out that’s not the case. Even if you have, it’s the perfect time to do so. At exactly 21 years old, you’re likely going through the toughest time and in need of some aspiration. Getting into Harvard Law? What? Like it’s hard?! Like Elle Woods, remind yourself you can do anything you put your mind to—and in a fabulous pink outfit.

22 = The Bold Type (2017-2021)

I had to include my favourite TV show of all time, as I have done so many times. If Sex and the City is for your 30s, then The Bold Type is for your 20s. It will make you move to New York to pursue a career in fashion, yes, but it will also make you appreciate your girlfriends and remind you to keep following your dreams. Plus, it explores a lot of real-life issues, which any 22-year-old who wants to change the world can appreciate.

23 = Normal People (2020)

I was lucky enough to watch Normal People when I was 23, just as it came out, and maybe it's me being biased, but it was the perfect time. It explores so much of that awkwardness of adolescence that you’re still living in your early 20s: that immense fear of being completely seen, yet still craving it. After watching it, you’ll be a bit dehydrated from the tears but feeling fuller.

24 = Don’t Trust the B---- In Apartment 23 (2012-2013)

A bit of a niche one, since I don’t hear many people talking about it and it only lasted two seasons. Don’t Trust the B---- In Apartment 23 is exactly what you need at 24 to see how life in your mid-twenties is supposed to be chaotic and messy. Sharing a flat with strangers can be stressful, especially when you have different personalities, but it can open up your world and bring you friends for life!

25 = Rye Lane (2023)

At 25, I was single, using dating apps and really struggling to keep believing in love. Of course, I’ve always used romcoms to help me fight that hopelessness, especially the more nostalgic ones, as modern movies didn’t feel as close to home. Well, not Rye Lane, a charming London romcom that spans just one day (one of my favourite kinds of romcoms) and shows real, authentic connection in the big city.

26 = How to Be Single (2016)

Again, being single in your mid-twenties is tough. When everyone around you starts getting into relationships, it's easy to think there’s something wrong with you—especially if you have never been romantically involved with anyone. At the same time, if you’re going through a long-term relationship breakup, you might think it’s too late to start over. Well, as the name says, How to Be Single is the one to show how important (and fun) it is to be on your own.

27 = Frances Ha (2012)

Frances is exactly 27 in the movie, so why not watch Frances Ha when you’re 27?! Because at this point in your life, you thought you’d be more successful and mature (I know I did), and watching the main character deal with problems you probably share brings a weird sort of comfort. Adulthood is hard for everyone, doesn’t matter how much social media makes you feel otherwise.

28 = Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion (1997)

I watched Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion much younger, so I’m due a rewatch, because it’s in your late 20s when you really start comparing yourself to old classmates. You had enough time to become the professional you thought you would be, so you start worrying you’re the only one behind. If you identify with that at all, seeing Romy and Michelle fabricate a much better life to impress their ex-classmates will make you feel much better!

29 = 13 Going on 30 (2002)

I couldn’t leave this one out, even if it’s an obvious choice, because 30 is indeed the year of success! It’s so easy to be scared of starting a new decade (you know I am), but 13 Going on 30 is a great reminder that it’s going to be okay—as long as we keep our inner child happy and remember what actually matters in life: dancing, eating sweets and friendship.

If you’re 29, make sure you also check out the 20 Movies & Shows to Watch If You’re a Girl Panicking About Your 30s. There are a couple of overlaps, of course, but many more recs to dive into!

If this list gave you at least one new thing to watch, make sure you’re subscribed to Flick & Lit to get more recommendations of the best media made for chicks.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

As I write this, I’m exactly one month away from my 30th birthday. In Brazil, we say we enter our “astral hell”, a time when you have bad luck, and everything goes wrong. In my experience, life weirdly becomes more intense. Though in reality, we should probably use that time to reflect and prepare for the end of a solar cycle. In my attempt to look back (if you’re a subscriber, you know I’ve been freaking out about turning 30), I decided to write down what I would put in a letter to my 20-year-old self.

It’s crazy how, somehow, ten years ago, this day felt so far away I couldn’t even picture it. When I tried, I probably envisioned someone who looked much older (I must say, I still get ID’d for paracetamol) with a vague idea of success. I wonder if I’d have done things differently if I knew where I would end up. I’d like to believe I wouldn’t, and that I’d be proud.

So here are all the things I’d tell her:

The funny thing is, I did receive a letter when I turned 21, but it wasn’t quite the kind of letter you’d want to keep. So perhaps this is my way of rewriting that moment (if only I actually could). Everything we read stays with us in some way, and the negative words can be the hardest to shake. But writing can also be a way of reclaiming it, replacing it with something kinder.

If you also wish you could talk to the version of yourself 10 years ago, then subscribe so you don’t miss the next Single POV essay.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

As a romcom lover, I always roll my eyes when people say that “romcoms are back.” I’m guilty of getting excited every time a new mid-budget romance lands in cinemas too, and I’ve probably said it myself. But the truth is, they never left; we’ve just been looking in the wrong place.

While Hollywood keeps trying to recapture the magic of the romcoms that defined the ‘90s and 2000s, television has quietly become the genre’s best home. The most memorable romances of the past few years haven’t been confined to the big screen. They’ve been unfolding over episodes, giving characters room to build genuine chemistry, deliver sharp, funny dialogue, and make us completely obsessed with whether they’ll end up together.

If anything, the best romcoms we’ve had recently have been TV shows—more specifically, British. They just haven’t always been recognised as romcoms or given the same attention, which then results in heartbreaking cancellations.

So, I am here to give them the love they deserve, and though we all love Off Campus and Heated Rivalry, here are other series from the 2010s onwards that deserve your binge-watching attention.

Lovesick (2014–2018)

One of my favourite shows of all time, Lovesick follows Dylan, who discovered a sexually transmitted disease and must tell his former intimate partners. Even though his list is long enough for him to be a womaniser, the fact is that he’s just a bit of a lost romantic. Each episode is a flashback of one of those stories, while we also see his relationship with his friend Evie evolve.

This is probably one of the three shows I have ever rewatched—and writing this is seriously tempting me to go back to episode one. If you love witty British romcoms like Four Weddings and a Funeral, then you need to give it a go.

Crashing (2016)

Already recommended this for my 20 Movies & Shows to Watch If You’re a Girl Panicking About Your 30s list as an underrated gem, especially compared to Fleabag, which was aired in the same year and created by the same Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Though the main romantic tension comes from Lulu and Anthony, two best friends with repressed feelings for each other, the show shows a chaotic group of friends living in a disused hospital as property guardians.

The bad part is that we only have six episodes; the good part is that you can watch all in one sitting.

The End of the F***ing World (2017-2019)

This one is definitely a bit darker, but as a romcom-obsessed, it still hit the spot. Based on the graphic novel by Charles Forsman, The End of the F***ing World follows two misfit teenagers on a series of misadventures after they run away from home, who are also falling in love. On one side, we have James, who believes he is a psychopath, and on the other, it’s Alyssa, whose home life includes a terrible stepfather wanting her gone.

The show has two seasons and a conclusive ending, but I actually think it would still have been great with just season one.

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When people ask me, ‘what’s your sexual fantasy?’ I don’t really have an answer, but if they asked what my romantic fantasy was, it’d be too hard to choose. I can’t be the only one who, instead of dreaming about doing unspeakable things inside the supply cupboard, dreams about touching someone’s hand accidentally while grabbing ice from the communal fridge.

A while ago, I wrote about this grieving of all the loves I never had: the work romance, the summer fling, and so on. This is somewhat connected to it, as if they were fragments remaining from these expectations that will always stay with me. Might be a bit of a stretch, but if we continue in the sexual vs romantic realm, maybe the amount of romance you consume can tailor what you expect from the world as much as your idea of sex is impacted by watching too much porn.

In both, we take the idea of how sex and love should feel. Mundane things like a smile or the touch of a hand become potentially romantic (depending on the person it’s happening with, obviously, otherwise it’s creepy). Sexual fantasy can be about an act, but romantic fantasy often has an entire narrative. Who said what, where you met, what song was playing, how they looked at you, what happened afterwards, what they thought about you. It flirts too close to obsession (think Helga from Hey Arnold!): all these details replay in your head until they change colour and look prettier in your new memory of it.

You meet someone and already have dozens of images flicking through your mind of what you want to do to them. Do is a strong word, though, as it’s mostly an obscene amount of yearning.

Because that’s the thing about fantasies: they never measure up to reality. You can have a whole dialogue planned, but you stutter or say something embarrassing when you’re around someone you’ve been fantasising about. You end up getting comfortable living inside your head, daydreaming. It’s safe.

That’s why feeding a fantasy about a celebrity crush is so much better. Tom Holland can do no wrong in my dreams. I’ll never kiss him and realise he uses too much or too little tongue. They’re also supposed to be perfect. Even their casual paparazzi photos look better than our staged ones. I’ve watched enough interviews to have the parasocial idea that I know what he would say to me if we met—I know about him without having to know him per se.

With a real person, the fantasy is much more likely to break. Have you ever deleted from your mind your crush doing something icky, like picking their nose or having food stuck in their teeth? You add a bit of denial or delusion to keep it intact. If a sexual fantasy is all about the physical, a romantic fantasy requires the personality to also be appealing. When they’re lacking, you spice it up in your head. Or better yet: you don’t interact with them enough to need it.

Maybe that’s the curse of being romantically imaginative: you don’t just meet people, you cast them. You choose a person to provide the face, while you use your imagination to write the plot. You hope they’ll stay in character, but you forget they didn’t get the memo. So, you do a bit of editing.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

In writing about the non-romantic things I find incredibly romantic, it also crossed my mind that a lot of the romcoms that were supposed to be romantic—and probably included all the tropes we’re meant to fall for—didn’t quite get there. The balance between the ‘rom’ and ‘com’ is an extremely difficult task, and if you miss on the ‘rom’, I’ll be the first one to notice.

There are several reasons for this: a lack of chemistry, an unconvincing plot, or a great idea that wasn’t executed well. Of course, it can also be completely personal, so take this with a grain of salt.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

It’s rare when I dislike a romcom. Even the ones with low budget that people call ‘silly’ or ‘trashy’. But I couldn’t get into The Sweetest Thing when I watched it recently. It’s incredibly difficult to make a couple feel believable when they barely know each other (or haven’t even met in person, like in Sleepless in Seattle, which somehow pulls it off perfectly), so here, the romantic storyline felt flat and superficial. I must say, the friends are hilarious.

Meet the Fockers (2004)

I had to double-check the genre for this one, but as I suspected, Wikipedia says it’s a romantic comedy. A comedy? For sure—I recall crying with laughter. Romantic? Not really. In Meet the Parents (2000), Ben Stiller’s character meets his girlfriend’s father to ask for his blessing, not knowing he is a retired CIA agent. The following movie focuses on the collision between the two very different families, so even though it makes sense that it would have less romance, it did not go unnoticed. That said, I can’t wait for Focker-in Law with Ariana Grande to come out!

Sweethearts (2024)

I had high expectations for this one, since I’m a big fan of Kiernan Shipka, but unfortunately, I think using ‘romcom’ to describe this movie is false propaganda. The premise was very promising: two best friends who are also in the same university go home for Thanksgiving to break up with their respective high school sweethearts. It had everything for a heartfelt roadtrip romance, but ended up going nowhere.

My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)

This one made me come to the conclusion that, with the exception of The Holiday, many Cameron Diaz romcoms leave me unconvinced by the romance. With My Best Friend’s Wedding, you end up rooting for Julia Roberts’ character, a toxic best friend who only realises she wants to be with him after he gets engaged. You know she shouldn’t be trying to break them up, but you want it to work. There’s not a lot of romance in it, but you can see I enjoyed it, because I keep mentioning it!

Bride Wars (2009)

I actually love this movie, but it makes the list because for a romcom, there isn’t much romance. The story follows two best friends who dream of the Plaza Hotel as their wedding venue, but they become rivals after booking the exact same date. It’s a great exploration of competitiveness in female friendship, and the fiancés are really just side characters. I’m not mad about that, but I had to include it.

Love Actually (2003)

Don’t come for me, because I’ll watch Love Actually during Christmas as much as the next person. However, it’s more due to the festive feel and nostalgia than the romance itself. We have a couple who fall in love without ever speaking the same language, a man who secretly loves (or more likely, just has a crush on) his best friend’s wife, and a big power imbalance between an MP and his secretary. I still adore it, but do I need to say more?

I’d love to know if you agree with this list or if I’ve just insulted one of your favourite films. So, what’s the least romantic romcom you’ve ever watched?

If you also deeply care about how much romance goes into romcoms, make sure to subscribe to Flick & Lit, so you don’t miss the next letter.

Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Some things are obviously romantic: a bouquet, a serenade (you can cringe at it, but it’s still considered a grand gesture), jewellery as a gift, someone defending your honour in an argument, a candlelit dinner and so on. As a hopeless romantic, I love all of that. But I also love the more niche, sometimes weird moments that don’t make it into romcoms, even though I think they should.

Being treated as a friend. It reminds me of the characters of Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Not That Into You. There was something so sweet about him treating her as a friend, as an equal, like one of the guys he hung out with, and being bluntly honest. The not pretending to be romantic was actually romantic. That’s why friends-to-lovers is one of my favourite tropes.

Pushing down a raised seat. Okay, you love it when they open the car door for you. But have you ever been walking down a row in a stadium and someone quietly folds the seat down before you reach it? When it happened to me, even if it seemed like the smallest of acts, it melted me. It’s such a tiny gesture, but it makes you feel looked after.

Letting you order for yourself. As a very indecisive person, I’d rather have people order for me. If I have to order, there’s every chance I’ll change my mind at the last second. And maybe that’s why my partner never orders for me, even when I already told him what I want. He’ll still let me tell the waiter just in case I’ve picked something else. It’s infuriating sometimes—why can’t he just say it?—but it’s always romantic.

Predicting exactly when you’re going to cry. You know when you’re watching something together, and right before a specific scene, they look at you, because they know you’re going to cry? For me, it’s always a scene between dads and daughters. Might not be extremely emotional or universally sad, but they know you’ll feel it.

Doing everyday chores. The mundane can be boring, but it can also be romantic. Think about grocery shopping and arguing over your favourite chocolate, or cleaning the bathroom and splashing water on each other. This only works if you’re in the right mood and don’t let the stress of life ruin the moment.

Farting in front of them. You’ve read it right. It’s more about how you deal with this embarrassing human need than doing it, which in itself is not romantic at all. Imagine you’re both brushing your teeth or getting ready for bed, one slips out, and instead of pretending it didn’t happen, you both burst out laughing. Just that moment bonds you faster than five dates.

Holding your hair while you vomit. Another gross one, but still incredibly romantic. Whether from too much alcohol or food poisoning, no one enjoys having to throw up. The one thing that makes it better is having someone to take care of you, including holding your hair up so it doesn’t get dirty.

Knowing your triggers. Breaking a glass or spilling tomato sauce all over the kitchen might be upsetting for anyone. But they take a breath and say it’s okay—not because they’re the most patient person in the world (they’d probably lose their temper with anyone else), but because they know you had a strict childhood and that raised voices make you panic.

Sometimes we don’t need flowers (although I’ll never say no to them). Sometimes what we really need is someone who’ll fold down a stadium seat without thinking, let us change our order for the third time, or make sure we don’t die of embarrassment when we fart. Maybe they’re all just as romantic, because it’s really true what they say: being loved is being known.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

While writing about the childhood best friend I never had, I realised I’d been looking in the wrong place. My sisters had been filling that role all along. They argued with me and made me think I was found in the trash, but they also loved me unconditionally and made me feel seen. They’re still my favourite people in the world.

Maybe that’s why I have such a soft spot for sisters in fiction. They feel familiar, but they’re also aspirational. They remind me that sisterhood isn’t about getting along all the time; it’s about having that person’s back even if you also have to slap them in the face.

So, in honour of the girls who taught us that love stories don’t have to be romantic (or even outside your own home), here are the fictional sisters who made me wish I had a spare room in their family house.

Sally and Gillian, Practical Magic (1998)

I’m counting the days for Practical Magic 2, after watching the first movie just last year. Spooky films are not usually my thing, but it was love at first sight with the Owens. It’s the perfect portrayal of how being raised by the same people does not mean you’ll end up the same. Though they are completely different in personalities and in what they want for themselves, they share an unbreakable bond and loyalty. Fun fact: the movie is actually based on a book by Alice Hoffman.

Lilo and Nani, Lilo & Stitch (2002)

I know we all love Lilo and Stitch, with their unlikely friendship and eventually becoming one of the found family stories, but I might love Lilo and Nani even more. Like so many other older sisters, Nani has to become a parent by circumstance and not choice, and instead of giving us an unrealistic version easily digestible for kids, we see a realistic one. While Nani makes mistakes, she is trying her best; on the other hand, Lilo is just being a kid who doesn’t get how hard it is. It’s really a story of our lives.

Ramona and Beatrice, Ramona and Beezus (2010)

Though probably not the best-known fictional sisters, Ramona and Beezus are among my favourite duos. It’s most certainly one of the first to come to mind when I think about sisters on the screen and on the page—yes, it’s based on Beverly Cleary’s books! As a little sister, I know how much we can be a source of embarrassment, so besides seeing myself in Ramona, I love how they show resentment and love coexisting.

Jill and Izzy, Voicemails for Isabelle (2026)

The most recent discovery on this list, I watched Voicemails for Isabelle not expecting I would cry in the first five minutes. It’s mainly because Jill’s little sister, Izzy, has cystic fibrosis, making it harder for them to share moments they would otherwise have, like going to school together or drinking at a party. It also made me cry because it reminded me of how lucky I am to have my sisters. It gave a whole new meaning to the song Dancing On My Own.

The Bennet sisters, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

I first fell in love with the Bennet sisters in the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Then, I fell in love twice more with the 1995 version and the new The Other Bennet Sister (2026) BBC series. No matter which one you saw first—or if you actually only read the book—we need to give credit to Jane Austen's brilliant mind. Oh, how lucky we are to have so many versions of them! And there’s even a new one coming out this year (probably not the last either), with Emma Corrin as Elizabeth and Olivia Colman as Mrs Bennet.

Alex and Camryn, Twitches (2005)

Watching Alex and Camryn gives me the best mix of nostalgia and witchy—let’s say, they’re the nieces of Practical Magic and cousins of Hallie and Annie from Parent Trap, since they were also separated at birth. Coventry-born, the Twitches grew up on Earth but in very different houses and lifestyles. It teaches us that being sisters is more than just growing up together and sharing memories; it’s almost an automatic connection by nature

The March sisters, Little Women (2019)

I’ve only watched the 2019 movie, but I still had to include this group of sisters, who originated from Louisa May Alcott’s novel. It’s such a complex portrayal of sisterhood, where Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy clearly love each other deeply, but still feel jealousy, resentment, and rivalry. As one of three, I relate to how the relationships among different sisters are vastly different.

Jane and Roxy, New York Minute (2004)

This list wouldn’t be complete without one of my favourite sisters on and off the screen: Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. There were so many options to pick from, but New York Minute is my favourite movie from their catalogue. That’s because we witness them bonding over a series of misadventures around New York, finally starting to appreciate their twin for what exactly makes them so different from themselves.

Lara Jean, Margot and Kitty, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

I was obsessed with this movie when it came out, and even though XO, Kitty is not as good (to me), I still had to watch it—all three seasons. I feel a sense of loyalty to these sisters as if they were my own. Maybe I connected with them because I’m also one of three women, or because their relationship is so incredibly supportive and uncomplicated. Especially in the movie, where Kitty’s intentions in mailing her sister’s letters were from a genuine good place.

If you wish you were the missing sibling in these families, make sure to subscribe to Flick & Lit, so you don’t miss the next letter.

Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Last weekend, I complimented a girl’s roller skate shoulder strap. It made me want to get back into roller skating, and instead of going home and spending hours on Google trying to find the same one, I just asked her where she’d bought it. She could have looked at me funny. Instead, ten minutes later, I’d promised to send her my Brazil Tips PDF, and she’d followed me back on Instagram.

I love those spontaneous connections. But the older I get, the rarer they seem.

Not because people are less friendly, but because our lives become so full. We have friends to squeeze into already busy calendars, especially if, like me, you weren’t afraid of trying Bumble BFF and ended up with a handful of one-on-one friendships. Making room for someone new can start to feel like a chore. You really want to do it, to give them your full attention, but there aren’t enough hours in the day. Not to mention how hard it is to put someone up to speed with all of your drama and trauma.

When I look at my friendships spread across different groups and different cities (well, two, really), I sometimes grieve the one thing I never had: that single, lifelong best friend. The one who saw me learn how to ride a bike, watched my first kiss, and sat beside me through a work crisis. They never need any context, because they’ve seen it all.

I have friends who’ve been there for those moments. Just not all the same person.

Maybe that's why I loved watching New Girl. Jess had the loft and the housemates, sure, but she also had Cece. Their decades-long female friendship gave us flashbacks to awkward teenage years and endless reminders of how much they'd grown together. Watching them made that kind of lifelong best friend feel like a fundamental part of life, as essential as drinking two litres of water a day. If you don't have it, it almost feels like you've done it wrong.

But not all of us stayed in the same place our whole lives. Some of us—read: me—changed schools, moved countries, and had to learn, over and over again, how to let people go. Most of the time, I really didn’t want to, and being the one who left hurt. No matter how much you try to keep in touch, life happens, and texts or FaceTime can’t create new, shared memories. So all you can do is reminisce.

But then I remember something: I have my sisters.

During all five schools and two universities, they were always the people I came home to (even if, along the way, that became more metaphorical than literal). They’ve seen far more than the bike-riding moments. They’ve seen the parts of me I never showed anyone else. And maybe that’s true for other people, too. Maybe their forever person isn’t a best friend, but their mum. It might not look like shoe-shopping trips or late-night conversations about sex, but it’s still someone who’s been there through every version of them.

Whenever I read essays about girls accepting not having friends, they comfort me, because we’re slowly dismantling the idea that everyone is supposed to have one best friend who’s been there since diapers. That if your friendships don’t look like a TV show, you’ve somehow missed out.

Maybe we’ve been looking for the wrong thing. Maybe what we’re really longing for isn’t a best friend, but a witness. Someone who remembers the versions of us we’ve forgotten ourselves. For some people, that’s a childhood best friend. For others, it’s a sibling, a parent, or someone else entirely. And the rest? The friends we meet at twenty-five, thirty-five, or fifty-five? They don’t need to know every chapter to become an important part of the story. They just need to be there for the next one.

I still hope that, when I’m ninety-something, I’ll meet another ninety-something, sit down over coffee, and discover all the unexpected things we have in common. They won’t know the little girl who couldn’t ride a bike yet. But maybe that’s okay. Someone already does.

If you’ve also always wanted a lifelong bestie, then let’s be friends! Subscribe so you don’t miss the next Single POV essay.

Sincerely,
Renata 💋

Last week, I confessed that maybe I’m not that deep, and that’s okay. I also mentioned how superficiality is almost always associated with women. The same goes for books written for us (and usually by us). If the cover is pink or there’s smut involved, surely it can’t possibly be serious, intelligent, or emotionally complex in the way literary fiction is, right?

Very wrong, actually.

Some of the most emotionally devastating books I’ve read have been romance novels that look like beach reads (or even are named after it…). It’s stories about loneliness, identity, grief, intimacy, self-worth, and the terrifying vulnerability of being truly known by another person.

So whether you’re looking to cry and swoon simultaneously, or you’re ready to join the anti-performative club, here are ten romance books that seem shallow but are actually devastating.

Beach Read, Emily Henry

Since I’ve already nod to it, let’s start with Beach Read. I love this book, but I’ve never got the name—I know why it’s called it, but it sounds completely different from what it actually is. It’s raw and intelligent, openly talking about grief, difficult breakups, creative burnout, and depression. It shows how you can go through your own stuff while being vulnerable and letting someone in.

Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

Seven Days in June is a second-chance romance between an erotica author (and single mum) and a famous literary writer who reunite 15 years after a life-changing week filled with codependency and trauma. They have to deal with their hot chemistry, as well as some unresolved issues. It’s an exploration of chronic pain, motherhood, addiction, and the fear of being understood way too early by someone.

The No-Show, Beth O’Leary

It looks like a Valentine’s Day-themed novel, which it is, but it’s also a mystery with three different POVs. Each of the women we follow in The No-Show is dealing with their own issues, including abusive relationships, self-harm and mental health struggles, sexism at work and more. It’s made of a multi-layered plot that will blow your mind by the end.

No Matter What, Cara Bastone

You know it won’t be a light read when you find out that No Matter What starts with a married couple, Roz and Vin, trying to heal and rebuild their lives after a traumatic accident. Even though Vin has a new lease, when Roz signs up for figure-drawing, he is the one who offers to be her model. I always find second-chance romances to be more emotional, but this also tackles heavy themes like PTSD and grief.

Yours Truly, Abby Jimenez

Yours Truly is an Abby Jimenez favourite for a reason. Our main character is an ER doctor on the edge as she goes through a painful divorce and deals with her brother’s severe kidney failure. Plus, she might lose her promotion to a new doctor, who ends up being a kind, anxious man. While it’s heartwarming and funny, you can probably tell it includes some heavy topics too.

Dead Romantics, Ashley Poston

All of Ashley Poston’s books are deeply emotional—trust me, I’ve read all of them except for the newest one—, but Dead Romantics is a tender exploration of the different phases someone goes through after losing a parent, what it feels like to be the odd one out and navigate difficult family dynamics. Not to mention the betrayal of someone you trust and love.

Get a Life, Chloe Brown, Talia Hibbert

A grumpy/sunshine book with a bucket list has everything it needs to be a light romcom, but Get a Life, Chloe Brown is a lot more than that. The first in The Brown Sisters series, the novel features realistic characterisation and genuine emotional growth, alongside themes of trauma healing and authentic chronic illness representation.

Happy Place, Emily Henry

Of course, I had to add a second one from Emily Henry, our queen of deep romance books. If you go on it blind, Happy Place looks like holiday-core nostalgia. However, it’s actually about depression and emotional repression, as well as grieving who you used to be and letting go of the version of yourself.

Act Like It, Lucy Parker

First in the London Celebrities series, Act Like It explores the romance between West End theatre stars Richard Troy and castmate Elaine Graham. It’s perfect if you love going to the theatre, the fake-dating trope and real slow burn, but also realistic characters and emotional growth. If you want deep romance, Lucy Parker will deliver.

Love and Other Words, Christina Lauren

I don’t see many dual-timeline romance novels, but Love and Other Words is an amazing example of how well the trope can be done. Split between “then”, when the main characters experience their first love, and “now,” after they reunite as adults, the story feels especially perfect for fans of Every Summer After. Of course, if it’s on this list, you already know it’s emotional: expect grief, childhood trauma, and plenty of heartbreak.

If you like romance books that are heartfelt and complex at the same time, then make sure to subscribe to Flick & Lit, so you don’t miss the next letter.

Sincerely,
Renata 💋

We say ‘it’s not that deep’ a lot. It’s mostly about things, topics, themes… A person makes a complaint about a comment, and that exact phrase excuses everything. It’s a way to remind ourselves that, at the end of the day, not everything needs to hold intense meaning.

But when it comes to people, it always needs to be that deep.

I’ve never seen someone proudly describe themselves as ‘shallow’, because it’s something to be ashamed of. There’s no cultural capital in swimming only on the surface.

I tried so hard to seem more interesting. I thought that was what being deep was, since being interesting is basically the opposite of being called shallow. But I was always drawn to appearances more—it was never the guy with a funny personality, but the one with the prettiest face (for me). I’d fall in love with the idea first, the couple we could be, the way we would look together in pictures I hadn’t even taken yet.

If anything, I attach meaning to looks, and it might even give me comfort. A change of haircut might as well be a change of personality to me. I know that probably makes no sense, but it feels true. I’ve looked at someone after they changed their hair and felt like I had to get to know them all over again. Safe to say I’ve had my own share of meltdowns after a visit to the hairdresser’s.

It doesn’t mean that the people I love don’t have intellectual depth. They do, and they need to. Whilst I was always the one who seemed smart because I could memorise things long enough to pass a test, I’ve always admired people who understood something so deeply they wouldn’t forget it. I’m drawn to the outside, but I don’t take the inside for granted.

When I watch very deep movies, I rarely try to understand any hidden meaning. If it’s sad, I cry. Even if it’s not sad, really. I don’t need much to shed tears. I don’t need to understand why, as long as I feel it. Don’t ask me to explain the emotion itself; I’ll probably not find the words.

And maybe that’s the difference. Some people experience life through meaning, and some experience it through feeling.

Because that’s the thing: you don’t need to search the deepest corners of your mind—and you don’t need to truly understand your own and life’s complexities—to be a good person. And at the end of the day, being good is so much better than being deep.

Like in The House Bunny, Shelley was the obvious stereotype of a shallow girl, and she was probably the best friend you could have. She was a true girl’s girl. She cared and loved loudly. None of that required her to be ‘deep.’

It’s funny how superficiality is more often associated with women. The girl who cares a lot about her appearance, makeup, outfits, and shopping. She’s also usually assumed to be dumb, or at least less serious. I don’t see men being judged in the same way for caring about how they look. Somewhere along the way, caring about beauty became incompatible with being seen as intelligent.

Maybe that’s why I always felt slightly ashamed of how I move through the world: noticing faces before personalities, aesthetics before ideas, feelings before rationales.

Some things are not that deep.

And maybe we don’t always need to be that deep, either.

If you also find joy in swimming on the surface, don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss the next Single POV essay.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋

It’s Pride Month, and I want to celebrate it with my own curation of heartwarming queer stories across film and literature. Watching and reading realistic struggles across the queer community is necessary, of course, but so is witnessing happy endings. They inspire us to embrace our true selves, but they also create empathy in a world that needs it more than ever.

I know you want to rewatch Heated Rivalry for the hundredth time, but some other great LGBTQ+ romances are waiting for you. So here are the movies and books you should pick this month (and beyond) for some hope and toe-curling.

Watch list

• But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) — A pink-infused conversion camp where Ru Paul is an “ex-gay” counsellor. Yes, it is as funny as it sounds. Sometimes, showing how absurd homophobia is just what we need to deal with it!

• The Half of It (2020) — I love a classic reimagined! This one is inspired by Cyrano de Bergerac, where Ellie writes love letters to Paul’s crush on his behalf, all while liking the same girl.

• Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho/The Way He Looks (2014) — Don’t be thrown off by the subtitles; this Brazilian movie brings some amazing representation not only for gay love stories but also for people with disabilities, with a visually-impaired protagonist.

• Red, White & Royal Blue (2023) — A US first son and a British prince who fall in love is what I didn’t know I needed until this movie. I love a famous-normal-person trope, but two high-profile people navigating the spotlight is just as good.

• Dating Amber (2020) — With the resurgence of the lavender marriage discourse, nothing better than a girl and a boy who date each other to escape bullying and others speculating their sexuality. Plus, it’s beautifully set in Ireland in the mid-90s.

• The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000) — A simple premise: showing the lives of a group of different young gay men in their late-20s living in West Hollywood and searching for love and happiness.

• Love, Simon (2018) — The list wouldn’t be complete without this sweet coming-of-age (and coming-out) love story based on a book of the same name. There’s also a spin-off show called Love, Victor, if you need more.

• Crush (2022) — Speaking of teen romance… This is the perfect portrayal of teenage love and how you can be infatuated with someone just to find out what love actually feels like.

• Saving Face (2004) — In this hidden gem and true warm hug, Wil hasn’t come out to her family yet, when her pregnant mum is forced to move in with her, putting a strain on Wil’s relationship with openly gay Vivian.

• A Nice Indian Boy (2024) — The most recent release on the list, the feature follows Naveen, an Indian-American doctor, and Jay, a white artist adopted by Indian parents, as they navigate the meet-the-family moment and cultural differences.

Reading list

• The Great Orchid Heist by Eleanor Vendrell — If you’re a plant parent and love the UK countryside, this is for you. Phil joins an orchid heist, without expecting to fall for the botanic garden’s grumpy gardener and her cute dog.

• Less by Andrew Sean Grier — Not traditionally romance, but it’s a heartwarming coming-of-age story where the main character is an almost 50-year-old novelist on a world book tour.

• Wild Things by Laura Kay — Feeling stuck, El plans to do one “wild thing” each month for a year, all while dealing with having feelings for her best friend and coworker, Ray.

• The Pairing by Casey McQuiston — Looking for a bi romance? Well, here you’ll find two exes who had a terrible breakup four years prior, accidentally booking the same wine tour and getting into a hookup competition.

• We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian — With an unlikely friendship between a newspaper tycoon’s son and a reporter in the 1950s, this will help you understand what it was like to be queer at that time, with the safety of an HEA.

• Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall — Perfect for fans of fake-dating, since it follows Luc, the celebrity son of rockstars, and his attempt to save his career by pretending to date the barrister Oliver.

• Outdrawn by Deanna Grey — A sapphire rivals-to-lovers where two comic artists, who have a history from their design school times, have to work together to relaunch ‘Queen Leisah’.

• One Night in Hartswood by Emma Denny — For anyone who loves stories of knights with a lot at stake. Set in 1360, Raff has to track down the man who has been politically arranged to marry his sister as he vanishes before the wedding.

• Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun — Two small-town English teachers in their 30s (who are also former childhood best friends) end up on a road trip to fulfil their mentor’s dying wish. Both emotional and heartfelt!

• Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa — In this necessary queer Lantix romance, a nonbinary Mexican American teen falls for an undocumented Mexican boy, who is also the new waiter at their family’s taqueria.

Pride Month may only last thirty days, but stories like these deserve a place on our shelves and watchlists all year round. Whether you pick up a book or press play on a film, I hope you find something here that makes you smile, swoon, and feel a little more hopeful.

If you want more stories that feel like a warm hug, make sure to subscribe to Flick & Lit, so you don’t miss the next letter.

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Sincerely,
Renata 💋