“You don’t always have to look so fancy.”

Now, I know by the way he spat this out at me, that he meant it in an impatient way. In his mind, the extra three seconds I was spending on my appearance were clearly the reason we were running late, rather than the fact that, while my husband Andy shaved his head, had a shower and got himself dressed, I made the snack boxes, negotiated with Phoebe to sit on the toilet (a daily battle), dressed her, did her hair (another daily battle) packed the bags and generally ensured that everyone was organised and ready to leave the house.

And then, with whatever crumbs of time were left over, I got myself ready.

Now, because he’s nine, I don’t expect him to understand concepts like the unequal distribution of domestic labour or the invisible mental load. (I’ll save that for when he’s a teenager and I’m deep in perimenopause. It’l…

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Since, this week, I’ve been suffering from the latter, I thought this would be a perfect place to introduce myself. (After writing on here for 2 years, it’s probably about time.)

My name is Sophie and I am nobody.

That might sound dramatic and self-pitying, but I think it’s actually key to understanding my purpose here. Allow me to briefly explain.

To clarify: I am nobody in the fashion world. I am, of course, a huge deal to the people who know me in real life.

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The reason I started a Substack, and began putting myself and my outfits “out there”, was that I kept seeing creators, fashion industry women and influencers offering content that was far more polished and prolific than anything I could produce. Some of them even had pa…

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Which brings me to two points I would like to make as a general public service:

If you’re hosting a party, and you set an ambiguous theme, these two things should be non-negotiable:

1. Send a mood board with the invite

2. On the invitation be explicitly clear, are you expecting guests to go in “dress up” or “dressed up.” There’s a BIG difference!

With not a huge amount of information to go off… I’m hedging my bets on dressed up versus “dress ups”, as I’ll be a lot more comfortable wearing a cocktail dress in a room full of Togas as opposed to the reverse.

So with that in mind, I’ve narrowed down all the clothes in my wardrobe to the following 5 options… (Because, as much as I love any old excuse to go out and shop, buying one off event wear - particularly event wear attached to a specific theme - does not excite me like a standard impulse buy does. That being said, there is ONE thing at the bottom of this post that I am considering… ok… maybe two… three at the absolute most.)

And because we’re all friends here, if you have the time, and the inclination, I’d love for you to help me decide.

Option 1: The chill cocktail dress

I bought this dress because we have friends getting married in Barcelona next year, and as someone who doesn’t particularly like dresses, when I find one I like - even if it’s a year before the event - I’ll buy it. That being said, I feel like the vibes of a Barcelona wedding soirée are almost interchangeable with Rome at dusk?

I love this option because, it’s slinky and sexy without being obviously about it. I like the length and the ease, and if I’m being totally honest, this is probably my front runner.

Option 2: The not chill cocktail dress

Now if I wanted a bit more of a “wow” factor (which, gross I rarely do) then maybe I’d choose this dress. It has a built in side sash where, the more you pull on it, the more it ruches the hem up. The dress is slinky, and short, and shows off my legs. It has built in shoulder pads and it makes me feel flirty and fun and powerful… but does it feel Italian??

Option 3: Nothing is more Italian than Prada, amore mio.

Well, nothing is more Italian than Prada honey! I bought these pants 70% off back when the Outnet still stocked Prada. I don’t wear them nearly enough, and that’s 100% on me because you know I’m a firm believer in not needing a reason to wear your good clothes. That being said, I’m afraid that the cape top, and the pants, all end up reading a little too informal?

But, my counter argument to that is twofold. 1) Isn’t it sexy seeing someone who is comfortable, in their clothes AND in their skin, just at a party having fun and not fussing with their outfit? And 2) Isn’t there something inherently cool about being a woman and choosing to wear pants instead of a dress? The cape top gives the swishy-ness of a dress without compromising on my beliefs!

I do feel like I could have a lot of fun in this outfit… and I also think it’s different enough to still feel special and like I’ve made an effort.

Option 4: Just add an aperol and we’re on the Riviera.

Now, in terms of effort, this is pretty low down on the scale. It’s a simple, breezy, slightly sheer set that maybe gives more of a lunch on the Italian Riviera feeling over a Rome at Dusk feeling.

That being said, I’m starting to talk myself into the idea that it’s cool and sexy to subvert expectations and wear the thing you’re most relaxed in, rather than the thing you think looks best. Because… best according to whom, anyway?

My husband has seen me naked, immediately after giving birth, with blood running down the insides of my legs, and he still thought I was a goddess walking among mortals. If that’s the bar, I look great in anything.

Option 5: Roman finance bro likes to Disco.

Wow, it’s a hard pivot from painting a picture of myself post birth, to a disco suit - but this substack is nothing, if not an honest reflection of how my brain works. In fairness this is only in contention because I want an excuse to wear it again. I don’t think it particularly matches the theme, but the beauty of a completely made up ambiguous theme is: you can make it mean whatever you want it to.

At the end of the day, I’m not a VIP guest (I’m really my husbands plus one in this case) so I don’t need to dress like all eyes are on me, but I want to dress in a way that shows respect to our hosts, and adds to the energy of the night. So if you were me, and these were your options - what would you choose?

And because I can’t sign off without showing you at least something I’m considering buying - I’ve noticed that fancy shoes and going out clutches are an area I could add to in my wardrobe.

If my back didn’t feel like it would break anytime I wear anything higher than two inches, and if money truly was no issue: I’d love to own these shoes. I’d sleep in them1.

I also feel like these two clutches would be a great addition to my cave of wonders. Both really textural, interesting, a good size, and would go with any of the above outfits.

We’ll see.

Ok, love you, bye.

Thank you so much for reading Sophie’s Obsessed and being part of this community. I know I’m biased but I happen to think that I have the smartest, kindest and best dressed readers on the internet. If you’re happy to take a moment to help my publication grow, please like, comment, re-stack or share with anyone you feel would want to belong here too.

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If this is something you’re wanting to work on too, I think I’ve discovered a little linguistic hack that’s actually making a big difference.

Allow me to explain:

Instead of letting my brain use its usual lazy categories to sort my world ie. good versus bad, hard versus easy, flattering versus unflattering, things I like versus things I don’t like, I’m trying to recategorise everything as either familiar or unfamiliar.

That silhouette? Not unflattering, just unfamiliar.

New haircut? Not bad, just unfamiliar. (or maybe French. Shout out to anyone who understands this reference2. You are my people)

5km hike? Not hard, just unfamiliar.

And what I’m finding is, this tiny change in language is doing something quite interesting to my brain.

You see, when I categorise something as bad for instance, I have essentially made a decision. I don’t like it. It doesn’t suit me. I’m not good at it. It’s not for me. End of discussion.

But if I categorise something as unfamiliar, that leaves space for learning and curiosity and investigation. It gives me permission to explore something, to ask more questions and to work out what I actually think.

Now, I’m not saying unfamiliar things are necessarily good things waiting to be discovered. And I’m not trying to trick myself into liking things that I hate in the name of personal growth. I’m just trying to figure out ways to not be so fixed in my mindset and my approach to life.

Do you get what I’m saying? That’s the polite way of saying I’m trying to not be such a judgey bitch.

Because, of course this shows up so much for me in a fashion and styling context, but it really applies to everything in my life.

I understand that our brains are incredibly efficient at categorising things because they have to be. We don’t have the time or energy to approach every experience as though we’re seeing it for the first time. We learn what we like, what we don’t like, what we’re good at, what we’re bad at, what feels comfortable and what feels threatening, and then we use all of that information to move through the world as efficiently as possible.

Which is useful. (Until it isn’t.)

Decision making these days is far less life or death than it was for our caveman ancestors, and much more hedonistic. I’m not making split second decisions about whether a predator is a threat so much as does this shoe go with this bag.

There are so many rules I’ve accumulated about what I do and don’t wear that I could write a fairly comprehensive handbook titled Things Sophie Has Decided About Herself.

I’m not a dress person.

I’m not a skirt person.

I don’t like things that are too feminine.

I don’t like anything too fitted.

I don’t like anything that makes me look shorter.

I don’t like anything that shows too much cleavage.

I don’t like clothes that feel scratchy.

I don’t like pink and black as a colour combination.

Some of these are actually useful observations that I’ve gathered over years of getting dressed. But others are just habits that I think have hardened into identity.

And I really don’t want to be defined by the things I don’t like.

So I’ve started trying to catch myself when I have one of those immediate reactions and I try relabelling the thought. Instead of I don’t like this, I try:

This is unfamiliar.

Which feels much less final.

So in the spirit of trying new things and not being a judgey bitch, here are a few examples of how I’ve recently put my new way of thinking into action.

1. I chopped off a lot of hair and I don’t love the result.

It’s not that I think my new haircut is bad (and this isn’t my way of fishing for compliments!!) it’s just unfamiliar to my eyes. I haven’t had short hair for years, and it’s taking me a while to adjust.

I’m not convinced I really have the hair or the face for shorter hair, but I also don’t have the energy for long hair currently either. I am enjoying how easy having less hair is, and for now, maybe that’s enough for me to like it on some level?

Perhaps eventually I’ll decide I genuinely prefer my hair long. But I’m trying not to make that decision simply because the first time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t instantly love it.

2. I’m wearing clothes the next size up

I’ve written about my body size being in flux. Partly it’s a recomposition thing - trying to build muscle instead of trying to lose weight - and partly it could be an ageing/hormonal thing. I’m not sure how much control I have over the latter, but the former requires a whole different mindset.

Most days I feel powerful and strong in my body. But some days I don’t. Some days my inner gremlin takes over and I feel embarrassed, or ashamed, or bad for sizing up.

And on those days, I’m trying to reframe it.

Sizing up isn’t “bad”. It isn’t a moral failing. It doesn’t mean I have somehow failed at looking after myself.

It’s just different.

The size on the label is unfamiliar.

This feels like a really necessary reframe because I don't want to spend the next however-many years of my life trying to punish myself into maintaining one very specific version of myself simply because she is the version I am familiar with.

3. I’m wearing things I previously decided “weren’t for me.”

This one is probably the most obvious example of what I’m trying to do with my new mindset in regards to how it relates to style.

There are clothes I have looked at (or even owned) for years and dismissed because they belong to a category of person that I’ve decided I’m not.

Too feminine. Too girly. Too fancy. Too much. Too whatever.

And now, instead of deciding that’s not me, I’m trying to ask myself what it would feel like if it were me?

Not because I need to reinvent myself, and not because I think the clothes I already love are somehow wrong. But because I don’t want “that’s not me” to become a convenient excuse to stop experimenting, and pushing and evolving.

I mean, how are you ever expected to evolve your style if you never allow yourself to try?

Do you get what I’m saying?

(I’m talking about style but I’m not just talking about style.)

Have the conversation, make the call, open the e-mail, try the food, say yes to the dinner, wear the slip dress, buy the high heels, go for that run, lift those weights, make the new recipe, pick up the paintbrush, learn a new language, cut your hair and don’t be such a judgey little bitch.

Maybe after the reframing and the experimenting and the curiosity you truly decide something isn’t for you. That’s awesome. Put it on the “no thank you3” plate and move on with your life.

At least you’ll know why.

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And you know what?

It sounded an awful lot like I was trying to justify why I had given myself “permission” to shop so much in Paris.

But although the postpartum context is incredibly real, and important, and something I’m happy to share on another day (if anyone’s interested?) it didn’t feel like the true reason I gave myself permission to shop.

I gave myself permission to shop simply because I am an adult woman, with adult money, in Paris, having fun with my mum.

That’s it. It sounds basic, obvious even, but shopping, for the first time in forever, felt FUN!

Not like I was shopping for a fantasy life (although I accidentally did that too - can we blame that on drinking wine at lunch?) Not shopping as a reward for solo parenting sick kids. Not shopping to escape my reality. Not shopping to make me feel cool, or relevant, or valued.

Just shopping for fun.

My mum has been single since my parents divorced when I was 13. But she doesn’t have a lonely life. She has brilliant friendships and participates in exciting extracurricular activities… she’s social and happy but…

She came alive in Paris.

She kept remarking on how fun it felt to shop with a girlfriend, and: I felt it too.

The shopping experience these days can feel so lonely. Either you’re shopping on your own and dealing with whatever kind of shop assistants you’re dealt on the day (I still can’t decide if I prefer shop assistants who keep to themselves or shop assistants who want to be my best friend?) Or, more realistically, at least in my case, I’m shopping online at the end of the day, when my impulse control is at an all-time low.

But not in Paris!

She and I would link arms after breakfast and skip off singing “Where should we shop today?” And then get absolutely giddy and drunk on all the dopamine (and lunchtime wine.)

10/10

Highly recommend.

So without offering anymore information that might be confused with me making “excuses” Here’s a visual diary of what I bought.

Les vêtements - the clothes

Call it by your Name - Green Picnic tote - purchased at Le Bon Marché 24, rue de Sèvres, 75007

I’m going to be very honest with you here and say: the colour transferred from this bag onto my clothes, and when I emailed the company about it, I got a very unsatisfactory response along the lines of: Don’t wash it or dry clean it. Just keep using it and the colour transfer will settle down.

Now that I’m not in Paris (and don’t have my receipt) I sort of have to do what they’ve recommended but it was very disappointing. The tote is great! Loads of pockets, fab colour, but truly: buy at your own peril! Or only wear it with dark colours (like I now have to.)

Call it by your Name - Tour Eiffel keyring - purchased at Le Bon Marché.

Too expensive for a keyring but it’s cute and I don’t care if it makes me a basic B.

Soeur - Silk pants - Souer, 12 Boulevard des Filles du Calvaire, Paris, 75011

One of the things I purchased on my shopping trip with Irene and I will love these forever… even if sometimes I do not like them (like the time I saw what they cost in AUD. Or when the green from the above bag rubbed off onto them and I had to get them dry cleaned.)

Free People - v neck t-shirt - 12 Rue Malher Paris, 75004

A super simple t-shirt cut in a boxy crop that isn’t tight on the arms, isn’t too low cut, isn’t too boxy and isn’t too cropped. It’s a lot harder to find than you might think!

Monet keyring. - purchased at the Musée Marmottan Monet gift shop, 2 Rue Louis Boilly, 75016 Paris

I couldn’t resist this little keyring. I’m not even a bag charm person but it’s too cute!

Meilleur Moment - sheer knit - 23 Rue des Francs Bourgeois, 75004 Paris

I was surprised that I didn’t buy more from Meilleur Moment, because the entire store is filled with great non boring basics, but alas, the french sizing got my ass… or more accurately, did not get my ass.

Rouje - Dress - 16 Rue de Turenne 75004 Paris

On the other hand I was shocked at how much I ended up buying from Rouje. As a non dress, non girly girl, I found a dress (and a few quite feminine tops) that fit and flattered.

If Paris hadn’t been so warm I probably wouldn’t have been tempted by the dress, but it was kind of a necessity: I was tired of having hot legs!

Bangla Begum - earrings - 66 rue de Saintonge, 75003 Paris

One of the best boutiques we visited. It’s a tiny little hole in the wall store, and they have a very tight edit of beautiful costume jewellery. 100% somewhere I’ll buy from again (although it’ll have to be from their online store for the foreseeable.)

Frankie Shop - padded shirt - 7 rue Saint Claude 75003 Paris

This shirt fits me so well, and looks so good - it makes me feel much cooler than I am… And also like I need to buy more from the Frankie Shop. (Help!)

Plus Que Parfait - Vintage Mugler blazer - 23 rue des Blancs Manteaux

A men’s vintage store that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. A tight edit with a great range of immaculate vintage clothes and accessories. This was also one of my favourite stores. Lovely service, incredibly welcoming (considering I’m not their usual target client) and vintage without the musty smell (or massively inflated price tag)

Rouje - peasant blouse - 16 Rue de Turenne 75004 Paris

Frankie shop - Track jacket - 7 rue Saint Claude 75003 Paris

Rouje - wrap cardigan - 16 Rue de Turenne 75004 Paris

As a busty girl with very little waist definition, wrap cardigans are my friend. They also appeal to me as someone who would love to be mistaken for a ballerina (haha!)

Souer - sheer top - 12 Boulevard des Filles du Calvaire, Paris, 75011

If the brief is “jeans and a nice top” or “table top dressing” ie wearing something interesting up top and not being too bothered with what’s stuck under the table, a sheer draped blouse is a good tool to have in the tool kit. Interesting enough to hold its own - not so fussy that you can’t wear a jacket over the top.

Ba&sh - grey sweater - 22 Rue des Francs Bourgeois75003 Paris

If you’ve ever searched for a perfect, slouchy yet interesting grey sweater, please know you’re not alone. This is an item I’m never not looking for. Something that on the surface seems like every store should have one and do it well, but something that in practice almost no brands do well.

Vous dites accessoires, I say accessories

Jimmy Fairly - Sunglasses - 64 Rue Vieille du Temple, 75004 Paris

Like a kid in a candy store, it was so hard to narrow down a favourite pair, but the reason I settled on this style was simply: I don’t own another pair like them. They feel modern - and for any Tibi devotees - you’ll understand me when I say they put the slim, in a Big/ Slim/ Skin equation.

Gaijin - secondhand Supreme hat - 33 Rue Debelleyme, 75003 Paris, France

A second hand store that Irene introduced us to - that, in it’s own words from their website “acts as a bridge between the streets of Tokyo and Paris.”

Dragon Diffusion - woven bag - 9 Rue de la Monnaie, 75001 Paris (la Samaritaine)

This is something that has been on my wish list for what feels like years. Seeing the curated selection of bags in store at la Samaritaine made the decision very challenging - cobalt blue… sludgy green? Ultimately, I went for the classic chocolate and I’m so glad I did. Since getting home, it’s been hard not to reach for this bag every single day.

Kutjen - cashmere bandana - 20 Rue des Francs Bourgeois, Paris, 75003

This brand entered my consciousness last summer (last Euro winter) when a lot of the French instagram girls I follow started draping themselves in these gorgeous cashmere bandana scarves. I knew my trip to Paris wouldn’t be complete without seeing them… touching them… falling in love with them, for myself.

Coucou pop up market - necklace

Finding this pop up market just off Place Des Voges one Sunday was a very happy accident. The kind of accident that can only really happen when you’re walking around Paris with nowhere to be.

Kutjen - cashmere poncho - 20 Rue des Francs Bourgeois, Paris, 75003

Chaussures - shoes

Isabel Marant - black loafers - Le Bon Marché 24, rue de Sèvres, 75007

You cannot go to Paris, right as the season’s are changing from Summer to Autumn and not convince yourself that a pair of suede loafers are going to be the answer to 90% of your life’s problems. The fact that I came home with three pairs was RESTRAINED of me. You should have seen all the one’s I turned my back on.

Alohas - green ballet flats - 75 Rue Vieille du Temple, 75003 Paris, France

I’ve heard a lot of good things about Aloha’s from a lot of people on here who I like and trust. But you never quite know who is being sponsored or gifted items, and when you start to see multiple people wax lyrical about the same brand, around the same time, it makes me a little suspicious. So when I saw the Alohas store in Paris, I was at the very least, curious to try them for myself.

And I hate that I’m going to say this, but sponsored or not, those shoes are good quality and very comfortable. For instance: I tried on the Celine loafers and they felt like they were soled with cardboard in comparison.

Alohas - tan loafers - 75 Rue Vieille du Temple, 75003 Paris, France

I didn’t know that Alohas production model is based on an on-demand model. Which means the shoes are made to order - mainly handcrafted by local suppliers. So although I purchased the Alohas, I’m still waiting for them to ship.

Autry - sneakers - 9 Rue de la Monnaie, 75001 Paris (la Samaritaine)

You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few egg, and you can’t go on a enormous 12 day shopping spree without making a few bad purchases. For me, it’s these sneakers. They’re super comfortable, but I regret them because I prefer a slimline sneaker over a chunky one, and I momentarily forgot that.

Tod’s - secondhand loafers - Plus que Parfatit

Cadeaux! Presents!

Vogue Magazines - they add a little weight to the suitcase, but if you’ve got girlfriends who love fashion, I think a french fashion magazine is such a delicious little present.

Caramels, marshmallows, tea, biscuits and nougat - speaking of delicious presents, the French just understand how to make beautiful little treats. Set aside an hour or two to explore La Grande Épicerie (opposite le Bon Marché) and accept that you’re going to spend a hundred dollars on not very much food.

Jelly cat croissant and pain au chocolat - My daughter calls Pain au Chocolat “power chocolate” so there really was no way that these weren’t coming home with me. They are insanely cute.

Rouje - flower pin - 16 Rue de Turenne 75004 Paris

These little pins are so sweet, can be worn as a brooch or clipped into the hair, and are just a light little something that feels like a quintessentially French present.

(Forget hair pins! No one in Paris wears them!)

Pharmacie - one that doesn’t need translating!

French pharmacies have a reputation for being EPIC. Unfortunately, I’m pretty set in my ways when it comes to beauty products, so my pharmacy haul was quite restrained.

If you haven’t tried Marvis toothpaste - it really is worth the hype. As someone with the occasional sensory issue, brushing my teeth has never been my favourite daily ritual. However, this toothpaste is delicious and makes me genuinely excited to test my sensitive gag reflex two times a day.

The Nuxe body oil is something I’m already a devotee of. Usually I purchase it from Sephora, but it was cheaper to stock up on it in Paris, so I did. I use it on my face (after cleansing, before moisturiser and make up) and my body (after showering) I’m excited to use the shimmer oil in summer when people will actually see my skin.

Geurlain lipstick and case - purchased from Galleries Lafayette and not the pharmacy, but sort of fits with the other pharmacy products. The lipstick is beautiful (longer wearing on me than my mum for some reason. And doesn’t dry out my lips) but the best part is, in Paris you can get your lipstick case engraved and personalised. I panicked and chose a simple “Paris 2026” engraving - but if I had my time again, I would have chosen “fancy pig” because that became a little joke between mum and I during the trip, and really, nothing encapsulates the spirit of the trip more.

And that, my friends, is what I bought in Paris.

Was it a lot?

Yes.

Did I need all of it?

Probably not.

Did I have an absolute ball buying it all with my Fancy Pig mum?

Absolutely.

Not to sounds super cheesy… but that’s the souvenir I’m happiest to bring home.

If you’ve made it all the way to the end, thank you! I’d love to hear if you have a favourite purchase that you’ve made while on holiday... And don’t skimp on telling me the story attached to it too!

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Annnnyyyyyyway… I was chatting to Ilana, the owner (who writes her own thoughtful and informed Substack), and she asked me: “Did you shop while you were in Paris?”

Now, for those of you who know me, and who have been following along, you don’t need me to answer this! You know the answer is YES.

But according to Ilana, she has a lot of clients who travel to Paris, do a lot of browsing, but don’t end up buying very much.

So I thought I’d put together an (admittedly niche) guide on how to enjoy shopping in Paris. Hopefully this is the kind of article you can save (and, fingers crossed, use sooner rather than later.) Because I want to give you some really practical advice that will prepare you for what’s ahead.

First, let’s talk about money

One thing that Ilana and I talked about in our brief chat was the high price of shopping in Paris.

As an Australian, there’s no getting around the fact that our dollar is weak against the Euro (at the time of writing, we were getting about €0.62 for $1 AUD), so I’ll start by addressing that elephant in the room and then work from there.

Shopping in Paris IS expensive.

However, by paying a premium, you’re also getting access to stock.

On more than one occasion, we’d be in a store and I’d pull up their online store to see if we could buy it and have it shipped home for free, or get it at a better price, and it wouldn’t even be available. Either “out of stock” or “notify me.” So shopping in Paris did cost a premium, but it also got you the goods.

My second point on this “shopping is expensive in Paris” note is that I budgeted for it.

Not only did I have money put aside especially for shopping, but I knew I was having a once-in-a-lifetime trip with my mum, and I absolutely used that as an excuse to splurge.

Does a normal person need to buy three pairs of loafers in ten days? Probably not. But for me, it felt worth it to buy something that I knew I’d use and love, and that would always have a beautiful memory and story attached to it.

Also, while I’m still talking about money, before I left for the trip I set up a Wise bank card. I’ll pop the link here so that if you’re travelling you can research it for yourself. One thing I will say is that my mum and I bought the same thing a few times, and when we compared how much we’d actually paid after her bank’s conversion rates and fees vs the conversion rate I was getting using my Wise card, I was consistently paying less.

Suffice to say, she set up her own Wise card pretty quickly after that comparison exercise.

Lastly, for non-EU residents, it is possible to claim your tax back at the airport. I’m not going to elaborate on this as I didn’t do it (because I’m an anxious traveller1 and I found CDG super overwhelming), but if you’re looking for more information on it, there are loads of resources online.

(Just not this Substack!)

Anyhooo…. Enough with the finance bro shit. Let’s talk SHOPPING!

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My 5 best tips for enjoying shopping in Paris

1. Say bonjour before you say anything else

This might be obvious to some, but if you’ve never been to Paris, the etiquette is: as soon as you make eye contact with a sales associate, say “bonjour.”

And when you’re leaving the shop/interaction (for example, in a department store) a quick little “merci, au revoir” makes everyone feel good.

Now I hear you. You’re thinking, but I came here to read tips that I can’t find on every other Paris shopping guide on the internet.

And this is where my next few tips might differ from others:

2. Before you arrive, know your French size - and know how to ask for it

That means scrubbing up on your French numbers… (also good to know when it’s time to pay.)

French sizing is not UK sizing, and from what I saw, French sizing isn’t particularly generous either. Learn how to ask for your size and one size above.2

A little phrase that would be good to memorise is something like this:

“Bonjour, vous avez ça en quarante?”
Hello! Do you have this in a 40?

For reference, in Australia I’m generally a size Aus/UK 10 (which is a US 6), and in France I was more often a Fr40 (US 8)

Here’s a little cheat for you:

• French 34 = roughly Aus/UK 6 (US 2)

• French 36 = roughly Aus/UK 8 (US 4)

• French 38 = roughly Aus/UK 10 (US 6)

• French 40 = roughly Aus/UK 12 (US 8)

• French 42 = roughly Aus/UK 14 (US 10)

• French 44 = roughly Aus/UK 16 (US 12)

Treat this as a rough guide rather than gospel though as just like everywhere else in the world, sizing varies between brands.

3. Don’t shop in a rush

Almost every store I visited (with the exception of high-street stores like Zara, & Other Stories and Uniqlo) only put one size of one style on display. And most often, the display size is a French 34.

This means that anytime you want to try something on, it’s not as simple as grabbing it off the rack and heading to the change rooms (cabines).

Instead, you have to take the item (God forbid you want to try multiple different things!) and ask for it in your size. Then you have to wait for them to find it.

And for every shop you go into, and for every item you want to try on, you have to go through the whole routine over and over again. The good news is, every sales assistant I spoke to spoke English, the bad news is it’s impossible to just pop in and grab something.

If you want to go shopping in Paris, set aside whole days for it and accept that it’s a slow process (but rewarding for those with patience!).

And if you don’t see your size, ask - the shop floor is not their whole inventory.

4. Take a handheld fan

If you’re fortunate enough to have secured something you like in your size, then the next step to enjoying the shopping process is to have a handheld fan for the changing rooms.

I wasn’t there during any heatwaves (the temperatures ranged from 20–28°C) and even still, I felt like I was sweating all the time.

The shops aren’t air-conditioned and the change rooms are stuffy.

I didn’t have a fan with me, but I made sure I always had a brochure from a museum or a postcard in my bag that could be used as a makeshift fan. When I went shopping with Irene, she even sat outside my change room, with her arm poking through the curtain, fanning me with a brochure as I tried on clothes. Lol. A+ for service AND commitment!

5. Don’t spend your first day shopping

Paris is so dense and there is so much to see and absorb.

If you arrive early and your body clock is still adjusting, rather than hitting the cobblestone streets running with your credit card swinging… just enjoy walking around and taking it all in.

Take photos or make notes of anything you want to go back and see, but for the most part, enjoy walking around.

(And remember to stick to the right if you’re from Aus or the UK!)

Give yourself a day to get your bearings. Work out which neighbourhoods you want to explore. Notice the shops you keep seeing (cough, Jimmy Fairly, cough) Figure out if there’s some culture close by to shops you want to visit so you get a more rounded experience (for instance the Picasso museum is in the heart of the Marais, La Samaritaine is right near the Louvre etc)

Then go shopping.

A few last notes

A lot of shops are closed in Paris on a Sunday, so certain neighbourhoods that do open, like the Marais, are extra, extra hectic on a Sunday.

To make up for trading on a Sunday, some shops in the Marais are closed on a Monday. Also, even though some shops do open on a Sunday, they may have reduced trading hours (11–2, for example).

I guess what I’m saying is: check the opening hours of where you’re wanting to shop, and don’t make the assumption that just because it’s a major city, all things will be open on a Sunday. They’re not.

I spent one Sunday in the Marais, which I found to be very overwhelming, and then my second Sunday I decided to go across the river early.

FYI: French “early” on a Sunday is 11am. It’s extremely civilised!

I went to Le Bon Marché, which I found much more pleasant. It wasn’t as busy as the Marais, the streets are wider and quieter on a Sunday on the Left Bank, and Le Bon Marché is within easy walking distance of either the Rodin Museum or the Luxembourg Gardens if you want a little bit of greenery in the afternoon.

So, did I enjoy shopping in Paris?

Heck. Yes.

Ultimately, I think the trick to enjoying shopping in Paris is to not treat it like shopping at home. It’s slower, more social, sometimes a little overwhelming and, well, there’s no point sugar coating it: much more expensive.

You might have to ask for your size, wait while someone disappears into the back of the shop and then sweat your way through a changing room, but that’s also part of the experience. You’re not just scrolling, clicking and waiting for a parcel to arrive - YOU’RE SHOPPING IN PARIS! You’re discovering things in person, talking (or miming) to people, trying things on and occasionally hitting the jackpot and finding something that you’ll bring home and love for years.

And if that isn’t worth revisiting your high school French, and losing a little sweat over, I don’t know what is.

(Also, not that anyone asked, but in terms of the department stores I visited, Galeries Lafayette was the worst. Everything was crammed in, brightly lit, and it was honestly less enjoyable than CDG airport, and that place sucks. Beautiful domed glass ceiling though, so if you’re a big fan of roofs - go.

My mid ranking goes to La Samaritaine, it was lovely and quiet, and they have some decent food in the restaurant on the top floor so you really can spend the whole day there. The brands are quite high end as it’s owned by LVMH so it was an absolute treat to browse, but even with my budgeting it was a stretch for me. They do however have a great “souvenir” area on the ground floor that’s “affordable” and worth a look.

And lastly, my favourite department store that I visited: Le Bon Marché. It’s not too huge. They stock a really eclectic rage of designers at multiple price points. Great shoe department. Great kids floor and book area. Cafes on site and la Grande Épicerie right across the road for all your gourmet needs.)

Now, I have a question for you: for my next article, do you want to see what I bought or are you sick of hearing me go on and on about Paris?!

Ha Ha! Trick question, make sure you’re subscribed or following along for the next instalment… I don’t think you’ll want to miss it.

Bisous!

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Day 10, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it: I spent 5 of my last hours in Paris packing my suitcase! (Turns out, it does all add up… and yes I know this may spoil a surprise but I was really regretting my life choice of buying a jar of french marmalade for my husband!)

But aside from doing the jobs that needed to be done, the morning was spent visiting some last minute shops in our neighbourhood that I would have regretted either not returning to, or not seeing in the first place.

We ducked into Meilleur Moment - admittedly probably more catered to my mums classic/ refined style, but really lovely (hate this term) elevated basics, in good fabrics at a reasonable price point. I bought a silk and cashmere sheer knit for 99 euros.

We then made our way to Flabelus because the online bombardment of their advertising… and seeing their shoes all over the most fashionable women of Paris, finally got to me. It was only once I was in the store that I had a moment of clarity and remembered. - I already own velvet ballet flats - and I probably don’t need to add more to the collection. If you’re looking to buy some, I will say I was very impressed with how comfortable and supportive they felt for a fabric shoe. But a word of warning, I’m usually a size 41 and had to go up two full sizes to a 43.

France is determined to make me feel like a giant.

Then it was only a quick walk to Sézane. I’d seen a lot of their new range in different department stores, and mum had bought some very cute red ballet flats from there, but I was interested to see their full range in store.

It was underwhelming. Everything felt so… same? I always thought sézane was known for its individuality, but the new artistic direction made it feel like COS in a more interesting colour palette. Not that there’s anything wrong with COS! But I doesn’t feel special enough to lug all the way to the other side of the earth.

So, feeling a tiny bit disappointed by COSézane we took a break and found a casual lunch at le Petit Place. As per most of the other days in Paris, I ate burrata and had a Kir van blanc avec pêche (white wine with peach, who am I?!) and it cheered me right up!

Just in time for the loveliest last stop of the trip - Bangla Begum. A tiny jewellery store in the Marais, up near Place de la République.

Set in a very small, atmospheric space was some of the most delightful costume jewellery. It was a challenge to narrow down a favourite, but for me, I’d done my research and already decided I wanted an asymmetric pair of earrings as a final souvenir.

And then it was home to pack, eat one final filet de boeuf, and set an early alarm for the airport (where I’m writing this from!)

I’ve done all my thank you’s to mum privately, but I’d like to thank all of you for being here with me on this adventure. It’s been such a pleasure writing these daily recaps, reflecting on the days - that have gone by so quickly - and waking up to beautiful messages from this community.

Thank you again to Irene and Frosso for being so generous with your time and for adding extra joy and heart to my trip. And thank you to my wonderful husband for holding down the fort at home and allowing me this time and space to step out of our family bubble and have something that’s been just for me.

I cannot wait to squash everyone when I’m home xxx

Jusqu’à la prochaine fois - until next time.

X

Oh did you think I was going to skip the street style recap from my last day?

Never!

Starting with what I had to offer.

I’ll write a different post on my packing wins and losses - but for now I’ll say, my packing was almost perfect. However, if I had my time again, I would have packed more warm weather options, because, turns out it wasn’t the jet lag making me sweat - it was the humidity and the fact that I always had pants on. Oh la la.

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Wow. A grown up wearing overalls who looks like a grown up and not a baby. Hats off: that is an achievement. The shoes are the key. Something totally different from the vibe of the outfit which ends up adding edge, and maturity and a bit of grunge. As a side note: I’m back into chunky sandals for this coming summer.

Absolutely gorgeous maxi dress with gold sandals. Does it feel more stylish because she’s walking past a florist? No. This outfit would have caught my eye even if she were at a recycling centre. Actually, especially if she was at a recycling centre!!!

Lots of great jeans and boots paired with boho style or lace tops and natural hair. I love to see it. Natural hair texture is so beautiful and I feel like Australian women style their hair so much more than the French. Maybe because Australian bathrooms are bigger?!

Another thing French women do brilliantly, which I’ve spoken about in other letters: playful shoes. I’ve also noticed a lot of women will carry a fabric tote - maybe from a favourite store, rather than or in addition to a handbag.

And my final fancy French boy wearing yellow sweat pants, a white t-shirt, a patterned shirt worn open over the top, a beaded necklace, sunglasses and sneakers.

I’m telling you, someone on fashion substack needs to start doing a Parisian Men’s street style report. That thing would blow up!

My flight is boarding so I’m now officially on my way home and have to sign off. I’m excited to continue my street reports from Melbourne.

x

I wanted to see Andy and the kids, and catch up on all their news in real time vs text, but something just broke inside of me when I saw them (I think it was my heart?) and I ended up sobbing for a few solid minutes.

I miss the kids. I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss Andy and on top of all of the standard missing, in Australia it was also Father’s day so I felt terrible for missing that too. And guilty.

So I cried.

But then I had a little word to myself. No amount of missing my family is going to make my day in Paris go any faster, or get me home to them any quicker. If anything, spending my day feeling sad was only going to make the day feel longer, and then I’d feel more sad for not enjoying my second last day in Paris.

So I showered and I re-set.

Something that I used to say to my yoga students (which isn’t my wisdom at all but some that I stole from someone much wiser than me) was to be where your feet are.

It’s so easy to let your mind float forwards - to the future, to anxiety, to worry, to hope to dreams. Or float back - to the past, the wished for, the regrets. But to actually be where your feet are, in the present, is a real life skill.

I’m not saying I didn’t think of my family for the rest of the day, but when I did, I didn’t feel sadness, because I looked at where I was, at what I was seeing and doing and tasting and experiencing - and it bought me back into the moment, and back into an appreciation of just how lucky I am to be here.

So after breakfast, we officially started the morning back on the left bank at Le Bon Marché. Turns out, we just hadn’t had a good enough look the last time we were there!

From there, an easy 15 min stroll through the streets of the left bank (which on a Sunday are quieter, and wider than the Marais) to Le Procope - Paris’s oldest café founded in 1686 (a full 300 years before I was born!) and the first café in Paris to democratise coffee and serve it at a table in a porcelain cup. (They also serve a traditional 1686 dish of Calf’s Head if you’re brave.) (For the record, I’m not brave.)

I did order the rigatoni with braised beef cheek however and it was delicious. I was sceptical about the food being good, when it doesn’t really have to be. I think “institutions” like this - places that people are going to visit anyway because of the history and Nepoleon’s bicorne hat that he left as collateral for a debt - know they’ll get customers anyway, so I was genuinely delighted when the food and the service were both top notch.

From there, another simple 15 min walk over the Seine to visit Sainte-Chapelle on île de la Citè - instagram famous for it’s stained glass windows. Here’s my honest take: it’s beautiful, and its incredibly impressive that it was built in the 1200’s, I don’t want to take away from that extraordinary achievement. But it’s a room. And if you’re searching for a church experience, this isn’t it. There are no pews to sit in. No quiet space for reflection. Just loads of people taking selfies in front of stained glass. Also you have to pay to enter and pre-book your tickets.

From there we wandered back to our little neighbourhood - which was heaving - so I could freshen up and get ready for arguably the highlight of my day.

When my trip to Paris was booked there were a few “internet friends” that I wanted to reach out to and float the idea of meeting in person past them as casually as possible (but on the inside, feeling incredibly out of my comfort zone.)

Let me tell you how happy I am that I reached out to Frosso. She and I met for a drink and some cheese at L’Ebouilanté - a very sweet spot located on a pedestrian only passageway with outdoor tables (perfect to sit at on a sunny Sunday afternoon.) It was the ideal location for people watching and talking all things Paris and fashion and substack (!!!) and life and laughing with a friend. I cannot tell you how much it filled my cup.

Frosso is warm and charming and grounded and thoughtful and funny. If you happen to be one of the 6 people on the planet who hasn’t stumbled across her fantastic Paris street style substack - Stylé - please go and check it out. She puts so much heart into it.

Once again, I’m going to be a strong advocate for doing the awkward, uncomfortable, cringe thing, and encourage you to put yourself out “there” - wherever your there may be.

Now for the street style! Sunday’s seem to go one of two ways: either slightly more casual for the everyday, or more dressed up (I’m imagining for special lunches and occasions etc)

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Ok, so Parisians do wear activewear, but only in the dopest way possible. Black sneakers, baggy fluro knee length shorts, a tight white tank and an epic bag? I truly have no notes.

I adore the look of this lightweight sweater tucked into the midi skirt finished off with velvet slippers. It makes me think that maybe I am a skirt person? Or a shoe person? Or a French person? As a side note - if Flabelus isn’t aggressively haunting your algorithm yet, it will now!

I know the word chic has been overused and is temporarily ruined - but tell me another word to describe a Parisian wearing a black studded leather mini skirt, blue suede sling-backs, about to ride off somewhere?! What is the word for that, if it isn’t chic?!

Speaking of the word that shall not be named: another beautiful boy with a bag and a bracelet. And honestly an outfit (and lets be real, a waist) I would kill for! I know you can’t actually tell from a photo how he was walking but you know he was swaying his hips as he sashayed away.

This one was so good I had to get it from a few different angles but the lighting on this pic was the best. For anyone curious, she was carrying the Loewe x Paula’s Ibiza straw puzzle tote from a few seasons ago and her shirt had buttons up the back too. It was a whole lewk.

And now, I am happy/ sad to say that today is my last day in Paris and I want to sign off and take it all in for 23 more hours.

À demain.

(No, you’re da man1.)

After a full week of galleries, shops, monuments, churches, parks, jogs, dinners and alllll the walking… we needed to take our foot/ feet off the gas.

It is a holiday after all.

So we started the day slowly, walked around our neighbourhood, popped into places that looked interesting and tried to avoid places with too many people (not possible on a Saturday!)

We finished our day by eating a delicious Italian meal (ok! We ate at Le Petit Italien twice today!) and France redeemed itself and proved that it actually can make a good pesto!

We then walked to the local Catholic church, Saint-Paul-Saint-Louis (built in 1627! Can you wrap your mind around that? Australia was only invaded by the British in 1770!) and attended a classical music concert by candlelight.

It was so nourishing.

The whole day felt like a hug. Nothing hectic, nothing rushed, just a peaceful way to spend a Saturday in Paris.

I always leave our accomodation feeling fairly good. I like my outfits and I’m happy to say I’ve worn most of what I packed (at least once)… but then I step out onto the street and it’s like: OKAY PARIS I SEE YOU!

If you don’t think I didn’t reverse image search this dress you’re crazy. It’s by Maison Stella & Suzie (a brand I’d never heard of before, and sold out.) If this woman isn’t a model for/ owner of the brand: she should be.

If I had to guess I’d say that this woman was in her 60’s - but you wouldn’t know it just from looking at her. I would wear her whole outfit in a heartbeat - and 20 year old me would have worn it too.

Such a vibe! You can’t see it so well from this angle, but she had a scarf tied around her hair, and was walking with such purpose and confidence.

Just a reminder that this is what regular people are wearing on the streets of Paris.

I’ve noticed a lot of stripes on the streets and loved this matching set. It could so easily look like pjs, but the tailoring keeps it looking chic and sharp.

Another older woman looking absolutely immaculate. Loafers with bermuda shorts is going to be part of my summer uniform (I’ve decided purely based off of this look!) With the unexpectedly versatile plaid blazer and orange t-shirt: what a look!

Ok!

It’s Sunday morning as I write this, and if I keep it brief I’ll be able to get out for a jog before the rest of the city wakes up. I’ve got two more days left in Paris and I have to soak in every single moment.

À toute à l'heure!

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RIP

If you’re coming to Paris and you’re on the fence about booking tickets to gallerie Dior, do not hesitate. I know some things look like they’re fabricated for instagram reels - and maybe the staircase is - but it’s also a legitimate work of art! Beyond that, for the fashion nerds out there, visiting Galerie Dior is like visiting the supreme church of whatever religion you believe in.

It was a spiritual experience being in the midst of such history, talent and creativity. Of course the Jonathan Anderson pieces were exquisite - imaginative, delicate, playful. But to see them alongside designs from former creative directors such as Maria Grazia Chiuri, Raf Simons, John Galliano, Gianfranco Ferrè, Marc Bohan, Yves Saint Laurent and Christian Dior himself, gave me such a deeper understanding of the house codes and the evolution of the brand, and reinvention of the silhouettes over the decades.

It was a phenomenal exhibition.

As for the nitty gritty intel?

• You need to book your tickets (weeks) in advance, and even when you do, be prepared to wait in a long queue.

• You can buy a flexible ticket through your hotel which comes at a premium price, roughly 5 times the price of a general admin ticket - but it comes with the perk that you can show up any day, any time, and skip the queue

• It’s closed on Tuesdays

• It’s air conditioned

• There are free lockers available to store your bags

• Don’t bring glass water bottles. Reusable and plastic are ok.

• There is a cafe and gift shop onsite (be prepared to queue for the gift shop too)

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After a few hours worshiping at the house of Dior, we came back to reality with a thud when we chose to eat lunch at the courtyard cafe of le Petit Palais. It was truly the worst food. Far worse than anything I ate on the plane! The building is stunning and the courtyard is pretty - but if you really feel the urge to see it - smuggle a jambon-beurre in with you!

To cleanse our pallettes and our souls, after a wander around the free exhibition at le Petit Palais, we came back to our neighbourhood and had crèpes at Carette.

I know, I know, Carette is famous (thanks to Emily in Paris?) for their hot chocolates and coupe de fraise - but I couldn’t face drinking a hot chocolate on a 28 degree day (or paying 21 euros for a glass of strawberries!) For intel on that experience you’ll have to read one of the other billion reviews of Carette.

What I will say is - if money is no object - go there. Pay the astronomical prices, and enjoy the experience. At least the quality is actually there.

The last thing I want to chat about before we dive into the street style round up is an incredible Vintage store we stumbled across. Plus Que Parfait is a mens vintage store in the Marais and the curation and quality of the clothes, shoes and accessories that Benoit sources is incredible - and the prices are reasonable. Lucky for me I have big feet and a good imagination, so something being for “men” doesn’t bother me. In fact it delights me. Mens clothes are usually more functions (pockets!) and better quality (men are known to shop less, wear their clothes more, are less trend cycle driven and expect durability from their clothes.)

I walked away with some very comfortable red leather and suede Tod’s loafers, and an incredible vintage Mugler blazer that’s in fantastic condition - no weird thrift shop smell or imperfections.

Benoit said he posts 6 items a day to his instagram and happily ships worldwide!

I was so thrilled with my new loafers, that I put them on for dinner and we trotted back to Le Petit Marché. I went with every intention of ordering the duck, but I couldn’t go past the lamb, so I had it again, and it was as good as I’d remembered it was from a few days ago!

And of course, the street style continues to amaze and delight!

Literally no notes, this outfit was such a vibe! Red jeans with red flip flops. A perfect white t-shirt, straw bag and gold jewellery. Flawless.

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Navy linen shirt dress, leopard tote and fluro orange ballet flats!? Say less.

Style and taste have no age limit.

A breton, belt and birks. What could be easier and more classic?

Baggy, flowy white jeans and loafers of all styles (from polished to moccasins, leather or suede, in any colour you like) are really having their moment here in Paris and I am so here for it. I also appreciate that most Parisians that I’ve seen don’t match their bags to their shoes. They seem to just carry whatever bag they feel like, and throw out the “rules.”

Baggy bermuda shorts are also very chic and very on trend. Loved these suede brown mules and the baguette in the bike basket.

Not only am I adding white baggy jeans and bermuda shorts to my wishlist… but I’m also adding a cruiser bike with a basket.

Ok! C’est tout.

Join me back here, same time, same place tomorrow to see if the teal Prada nylon blazer I saw at Plus Que Parfait haunted me enough for me to return… oh! I didn’t mention that… oops!

Does anyone in Paris know?

We sped and swerved around Arc de Triomphe like we were extras in the Fast and the Furious! It even caused my mum to tell the taxi driver “Monsieur, ce n’est pas le Grand Prix” and he was like - lady, this is normal. Lol.

Anyway, aside from that fun little brush with death, here are the highlights from day 6.

Before we even arrived in Paris, I had booked lunch for us, for today, at Le Bon Georges. I’d read about it in a few different places, and took a leap of faith, as you never really know who’s suggestions to take until you’re boots on the ground. (But if you’re one of the lucky few who have found this substack - you know you can take my advice!)

I’d been promised that Le Bon Georges is the most Frenchy French of all the French bistrot’s, and it absolutely was. The food was impeccable. All French produce, none commercially sourced. The experience felt extremely fancy and extravagant without being sterile or stuffy - something I don’t think many “fine dining” restaurants manage to achieve. Sitting on le terrace was warm and social and relaxed.

Also, aside from the word of warning re the size of the dessert sharing options, you should also be warned about the size of the drinks menu…

We both decided after our enormous feast that we should stretch our legs so we wandered off and happened to conveniently stumble across Galleries Lafayette just 11 minutes later.

Look - honestly, not my favourite department store. The stained glass dome ceiling is incredible, and the visual merchandising was top notch, but for a Thursday afternoon it was heaving. Busier than the airport - and that place was hell. We stuck around just long enough for my mum to buy some incredible designer shoes and then GTF out of there!

The good news is, our final stop for the day was the Musée Marmottan Monet - and here’s the low down:

• It’s open until 9pm on a Thursday (and the café is open until 8pm)

• The main gallery space downstairs is air conditioned

• The artwork is breathtakingly beautiful

• On a Thursday evening around 6pm it’s incredibly quiet and feels like you’re getting a private viewing.

For my day around town I wore an outfit that I purchased from Soeur while on my shopping trip with Irene (which you can read about here.) If I had my full wardrobe at my disposal I would have chosen different shoes, but that’s part of the charm of travelling - wearing something so many times you want to throw it into a furnace.

Now that I’ve shown you my contribution to Paris’s street style - let me show you some people who made me want to thrown myself into a furnace (and not just my shoes!)

Truly never wanted to un-alive myself more than when I saw these two French angels drinking beer looking incredible. But, no! That’s not the spirit. Instead I vow to try wearing more dresses with ballet flats. Get more use out of my velvet ballet flats in general. Try getting a tan. And try drinking more beer with friends. Santé!

The new Celine bag is what caught my eye initially, but the whole look is so exquisite. The play of texture between the knit and the draped bermuda shorts, and the perfectly muted gold sandals. Let’s just put it this way: My wish list keeps growing longer…

Are these photos making you confused about the weather here? Same! I think the French have suffered through so many heat waves this summer that their opinion on what “coat weather” is, is significantly different from mine as an Aussie coming out of winter. That being said, if I had a navy trench with leopard print lining, a large quilted tote and Chanel ballet flats… maybe I’d call it Autumn all year round.

Ditto re this jacket.

This was a mum I saw - and of course, maybe she’d come to the gardens after work, I don’t know the story of her day. But I’m more inclined to believe that she just parents in heeled jazz shoes and a skirt. I’ve seen what the people are wearing at the playgrounds and walking their dogs… and it isn’t activewear.

Maybe that can be my next street style challenge: the dog owners of Paris!

It’s certainly inspiring me to lift my game once I’m back home… but I won’t think about that too much just yet, I still have 4 whole days left to enjoy/ try not to get run over.

Jusqu’à la prochaine fois. Until next time,

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1. We ate lunch at Joli, which is set in the courtyard of the Musée Carnavalet. Normally, when I hear “should we eat at the museum cafe?” My mind thinks of refrigerated sandwiches and dry banana bread. Refrigerated sandwich this was not.

   The food was seasonal and fresh, the setting was beyond beautiful, and the weather was perfect which made everything just that little bit more magical. In a twist that will surprise absolutely no one, I ordered the burrata salad with tomatoes and peach, and I would eat one every day for the rest of my life if I could!

   Oh my god! And the tarte tatin! If you’re on the fence about booking a trip to Paris, do it for the tarte tatin.

2. The second excellent meal was at Le Petit Marchè. Order the lamb and thank me later! (The table next to us ordered the duck and made very approving noises so maybe order that as well? And also the tuna millefeuille looked rather incredible too.) The ambience and service was off the scale charming. 15/10.

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Just a little moment of appreciation for this nylon tibi blazer. It has been a real hero item of the trip. An extra layer. A little bit of polish. As light as a tissue and scrunches down into nothing in a bag. I was really hesitant to purchase it because of the price, but it’s been one of my best buys in recent memory.

Ok officially onto day 5! We ventured to the left bank and visited (spent money at) Le Bon Marchè, had lunch at the iconc Café de Flore, and then spent the afternoon wandering (or flaneur-ing!) the gardens and museum at the Museé Rodin. After the museum we doubled back to la grande epicerie so I could spend hunderds of dollars on french caramels and nougat.

This was a perfect way to spend the day in my opinion. A balance of art and commerce. History and modernity.

If I’m being totally honest (and why stop now?) I probably wouldn’t go back to Café de Flore. I went there for mum, because she loves the history of places like that - but I don’t particularly care where famous thinkers and writers used to drink a hundred years ago. I want to be in cafés with the table next to us speaking passionately in French, rather than a café full of tourists - the irony and hypocrisy: I know!

The street style is absolutely incredible here, obviously not everyone dresses impeccably, but the ratio of hits to misses is far higher than back home. Lets discuss! (I’m adding a bonus shot - and it’s a good one - because I short changed you in yesterdays letter.)

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I’m pretty sure this is a Frankie Shop shirt, and I’m fairly sure because I bought the same one! Also, If you don’t think that red mesh/ jellies aren’t on my wish-list after this trip, you’d be mistaken. Love the texture they add, along with the straw bag and the gold jewellery. Stunning.

Oh my gosh, carrying two bags is cool! I started a trend! What really struck me about this look was the boots and the perfect boot cut jeans - the simple colour story with the pop of burgundy bag.

More boots! But this time in my favourite style (and colour.) I am genuinely so surprised and impressed by how much shoe diversity there is here in Paris. In Melbourne it feels like it’s all adidas all the time. I love to see all the different types of shoes walking around.

More shoes that caught my eye (and were also on a personal wish-list for a while) except I know I’d find black sneakers hard to wear, even if they’re Loewe. Loved how her pants tucked into socks gave the illusion of bubble hem pants.

Heeled thong wedges and baggy white jeans. Yes! The perfectly body skimming lightweight knit and mesh bag? YES!

And look! It’s a boy with a bottega bag. I told you the men have swag here. It’s not just Jacob Elordi who carries bags - it’s European men, and they look fantastic. I would steal this entire outfit in a heartbeat and I know my girlfriends would too! (Kerryn I’m talking about you!)

Can you imagine an Australian man dressing like this?? I Honestly cannot.

And with that brain buster, I’ll sign off. Until, tomorrow.

Bisous x

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I found that so profound at the time. But over the years I’ve forgotten that wisdom (or ignored it) and I’ve been quite happy living in my little jar with the lid firmly screwed on.

Maybe it’s having children that made me more risk adverse. Or the extreme covid lockdowns in Melbourne that left me traumatised. Or maybe being afraid of the unpredictability and instability of the world is an appropriate response to the times we’re living in?

But then I took this leap of faith (despite quite a lot of anxiety behind the scenes) and got on a plane without my kids and came to Paris. And oh my god - for the first time in years - maybe a decade, the lid on my jar has been blown straight off.

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Let me tell you about my 4th day in Paris and why it was so transformative.

Mum and I met with Irene Kim (김애린) (a woman, a mother, a writer and a fashion authority who I have admired from afar for a very long time.) She met us in our arrondissement and generously spent the morning wandering around with mum and I, taking us from shop to shop and showing us a more unfiltered and local view of shopping in Paris.

We visited a mix of French brands, vintage stores and designer concept stores. Some with the direct intent of purchasing, and some with the sole purpose of being in the presence of art. It was the latter that truly opened my eyes.

I feel like in Australia, the clothes that are generally available to us are all so functional. The best chance you have of finding something with personality and originality is through secondhand or vintage. Maybe that’s the same in other areas of France too, but in le Marais, the shops and boutiques are teeming with character and individuality. In some stores it’s actually hard to find the “easy to wear” pieces… or “easy to afford.” (Imagine me doing the emoji face with the really open eyes here!)

Now unfortunately, I have some bad news! Bad for the reader, good for my life experience: I was so immersed in the goodness of the morning that I didn’t take any photos and I didn’t write down the names of shops. Like I said on day one, I’m not writing a travel guide here, but I do feel terrible for being this bad at reporting.

So off the top of my head (and looking over my credit card statement) I will piece my memories back together for you and give you a super brief run down of each because I slept in and it’s breakfast time! The stores we visited, in no particular order, and maybe not the full extensive list were:

• The Frankie Shop - super cool, modern, wearable mix of smart and casual clothes. Lots of beautifully tailored interesting shirts, jackets, pants and blazers. Great fabrics.

• Merci - a concept store with home goods, nick-nacks, and clothes. The clothes were an interesting mix of brands, from Europe and the US. Personally I found the selection to be lovely but overpriced for what it was.

• Soeur - beautiful fabrics and clothes with sculptural elements that still felt fluid. A more neutral colour palette. Lots of asymmetric necklines, interesting pleats, button placements and draping.

• Loulou de Saison - the clothes in here felt too grown up and serious for me and my life. For some women they would probably just see clothes. But for me they felt boarder-line “event wear” - like if the event was having sophisticated drinks somewhere or mingling with other grown up adults.

• Paloma Wool - very simple designs in delicate fabrics - not suitable for my life.

• ITEMS - incredible concept store that sells mainly Ukrainian brands. A mix of jewellery and clothes and a small vintage selection. As per their website: find a variety of options always with the cool twist. Enjoy fashion!

• Gaijin - Japanese and Asian designer vintage.

• Dover Street Market - A concept store like no other. A multilevel store with concrete partitions so each brand has it’s own little nook - brands like Bottega, Phoebe Philo, Miu Miu, Prada, Comme de Garcons, Wales Bonner, cecilie bahnsen… and on and on and on. (This was a “look and get inspired” but don’t buy situation btw!

It was such an enjoyable and eye opening and mind expanding morning. This isn’t necessarily the advice I’d give my children, but to the adults reading this: if you ever have an opportunity to meet a stranger from the internet in real life: do it! I’ve never once been murdered and I have a lot of cool friends who I wouldn’t otherwise have in my life if I hadn’t taken that chance.

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Now, as for my style, the street style, and the amazing (AMAZING) food I ate, that will have to wait to be in the next instillment. It’s time for un café au lait d’avoine.

Jusqu’à la prochaine fois.

Bissous.

Today, I didn’t have to make any food, or dress any one other than myself. I didn’t have to fill in any school forms or follow up any appointments. I didn’t have to do anything. And I don’t want that to be my reality, genuinely, having things to do and people to care for gives my whole life a sense of purpose and fulfilment… But just for these few days the reality is: no matter how luxurious the accomodation (very) or how indulgent the shopping trips (very), the real present has been the gift of time.

Thanks to Eat Pray Love, I know that in Italian they call it “dolce far nient” the sweetness of doing nothing. But what do they call it in French? Because today we mastered it. No rushing, no schedules, no rules. We wandered to our nearest department store: La Samaritaine (where we also ate lunch on the 5th floor) and then wandered back home in time for dinner upstairs at Glou. (Becasue when Frosso says get a table by the window upstairs at Glou, that’s what you do. Merci Frosso x!)

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When Frosso’s latest newsletter landed in my inbox yesterday morning I was delighted to see that on top of the excellent street style coverage there was a restaurant recommendation that was only 600 meters from where we’re staying. To me that is a perfectly acceptable distance to walk on tired legs at the end of the day! And I’m so glad we did. The food tasted like modern French. Different from anything we’d get back at home but not the standard French fare you see on a lot of menus like Entrecôte or escargots. If you were waiting for a second opinion? Go.

Another shop I loved exploring (aside from la Samaritaine… which frankly was a little out of my price range but beautiful to drool over) was Rouje. In Australia, shops like Sèzane and Soeur have become known brand names… (but still not common) but I don’t think Rouje has reached that level of International recognition? It felt like walking into the coolest most French girls’ closet. Beautifully cut dresses. Lace detailing. Sheer mesh and lightweight knits. It’s exactly where I imagine the costuming department sourced the floaty sheer top Julie Delpy wears in Before Sunset. (A film I rewatched on the flight over just to get in the mood - IYKYK)

I ended up buying three things in Rouje. A dress, a top and a wrap cardigan (something that’s surprisingly hard to find!) I’ll be honest: the dress is very different for me, and I partially bought it because it’s going to get hotter here over the weekend and I don’t know that I’ll be able to sweat it out in the pants I bought with me! But also, I do love the idea of being the kind of person who wears a super feminine dress… so why not buy one that has a beautiful memory attached to it, and will hopefully be practical too?

Oh! And for those of you who know me personally, you might be wondering why I’m wearing white pants? Well… I took my white pants with me because I’m not travelling with children, and the verdicts in: I love them! Here’s what I wore for most of the day and then a quick change of my top and shoes (and a smaller bag) for dinner.

And now for what is becoming one of my personal highlights of the trip (aside from just enjoying my free time!)

Paris Street Style!

These were the top 5 outfits I could actually get my phone out in time for. Sadly, there’s a lot of incredible style going undocumented. Some of the best style I see is on the Parisians who cycle… and they just whiz by!

Are you starting to see a pattern here? Any time I see a trench my camera is out! Loved this navy trench with dark indigo jeans and canvas sneakers. So simple and so striking. Perfectly undone hair and a pushed up sleeve is the cherry on top.

Oh look! Sophie saw another trench! But what really caught my eye here was the beat up bucket bag and the white pants (because I was wearing white pants!) Paired with some messy braids, some gold boots and over ear headphones - this outfit spoke to my soul.

I loved the IDGAF attitude of this outfit. The slouch of the jeans and the tired old shoes. At a guess I would say that this woman was a young adult, and I just realised in Australia, teenagers all dress the same1. There’s an acceptable uniform that once you know what to look for you see it everywhere. This kind of personal expression would be very rare to see in Melbourne. And it was a great reminder to me personally that 1) the rules are: there are no rules 2) A great belt doesn’t have to have a designer logo on it 3) you can really wear as much jewellery as you want.

This shot is a little blurry because she was on a mission, but focus in and see the navy blue velvet loafers and the navy bandana scarf thrown over her shoulder. A base of all blue with a pop of burgundy is a formula I’m a particularly big fan of.

The preferred denim style over here definitely seems to be a straight baggy leg - but there is no preferred wash. I’ve seen it in all the hues and I personally loved the grey wash of these jeans with the black ballet flats, black knit and burgundy Ganni bag.

General musings:

• Emergency sirens say weeee-waaaaa

• There are rats in the gardens at sunset (and probably during the day time too!)

• There seems to be a lot of inefficiency in day to day life? That would drive me crazy in the long term. Every shop I go into, every interaction I have, it feels like I’m the first person ever to ask anything of someone. Or maybe my french is just so bad they literally have no idea what I’m asking for!? It could be a me thing, or it could be a French thing. Jurys out!

• A lot of the more boutique shops I’ve been into only have one size (usually Fr 34/ Aus 6) on display. So you often have to ask for your size to try. Which then leads to the person in the shop really looking at you, sometimes lifting up the hem of your top to look at your waist/ tummy to see if the size you’ve asked for is actually correct. It’s certainly a different experience! Maybe it would be the same in some shops in Australia if I was shopping there with a language barrier too? Just something I’ve noticed. Regardless, due to this system: shopping takes time and patience and in some cases bravery.

And that’s a wrap!

We have a fun day planned for day 4 - but alas, no spoilers! You’ll just have to check in tomorrow to see what we got up to.

À +2

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Our second day in Paris did not disappoint…. In fact, I gathered quite a lot of evidence to support this claim!

Below you will find:

• an early morning jog along the Seine

• my first purchase… and second… and third…

• the Musée Picasso

• a delicious lunch

• more excellent street style

Allons-y!

Starting with my morning jog. The plan was: keep it simple. Don’t overdo it. The execution: I didn’t keep it simple and I definitely over did it. HA. It wasn’t exactly my fault, the sky was so dreamy as the sun was rising over the Parisian rooftops. The Seine looked so beautiful you could swim in it (I mean, personally you couldn’t pay me enough money to get in it.. but it was looking beautiful.) And the city streets were empty aside from other runners and the bin men. It was a perfect way to start the day and I got carried away.

Luckily, it was Sunday morning, and what I’ve discovered is most things in Paris don’t open until 10:30am on a Sunday (if at all) so I had time on my side. After a quick shower and a slow petit déj (where the waiter laughed at me. I ordered a boiled egg - oeuf à la coque - and he asked me how many minutes I’d like it boiled for? Three? Four? and I said “Six?” and he laughed.) But sir, an egg cooked for 3 minutes is still a raw egg!

Anyway… full of my perfectly cooked 6 minute egg, we wandered off to the Musée Picasso.

The collection is incredible. It’s so much more interesting than I remembered. But alors, last time I was here was 20 years ago so of course it’s more interesting than I remembered! What I found really inspiring were these two things:

• He was not great at hands and feet. As an amateur artist myself, I can relate. And I find great comfort in this. Actually, I find great comfort in how much value we place in his art in general considering some of it is quite primitive. It reminded me that art is what we say it is, and you don’t have to be good at hands and feet to be a brilliant artist.

• His use of colour was exceptional. Not just his blue period or rose period, but throughout his catalogue of work he chose unexpected colour pairings, which I’m going to use as inspiration for some outfits when I get home.

I know I said journaling about restaurants is not my vibe, but gatekeeping is also not my vibe and this restaurant deserves to be shared. Located in le Marais at 25 rue Beautreillis Vin des Pyrenees is charming, perfectly french, modern and classic all at the same time. 10/10 for food and vibes.

If there’s one thing better than eating Duck and crème brûlée at lunch, it’s eating that and then going for a pressure free peruse of the shops. Unfortunately (I’m not sure if this is just a weekend thing, or an everyday thing) but some shops had queues out the front (like the Frankie Shop, Alohas and Repetto to name a few) and I currently don’t have the patience or energy for that. So I didn’t pop in there, but I did have success at Jimmy Fairly and Ba&sh.

Utterly obsessed with this “pull” I found at Ba&sh. A grey slouchy sweatshirt is one of those unicorn items to me. Seems so basic and yet, is so hard to find a good one. But I didn’t find a good one: I found the best one. The shoulder detailing and the embroidery? Chefs kiss. J’adore. Also, while I’m on the topic of things I love: these sunglasses from Jimmy Fairly are so cool. Extremely comfortable and light to wear, but substantial feeling at the same time. A style that is completely different from my usual - but I’m honestly tempted to go back and buy another pair too. The quality’s so good and they’re such a fun (and practical) souvenir.

And finally, a round up of my 5 favourite street style looks I was able to capture.

(And the outfit’s PLURAL that I wore)

This outfit caught my eye for two main reasons: Firstly, I love the colour of this dress - it’s not a pretty green, so it provides a beautiful contrast to the prettiness of the cut and pattern. And secondly, it doesn’t strike me as a trend driven outfit. I don’t look at her and instantly know what brand her shoes or dress are from, and how much they cost her, and I think that’s really refreshing - not to see an abundance of wealth signalling.

Speaking of wealth signalling… I mean, if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it with a beautiful Celine bag and matching Celine high top sneakers! I was surprised to see someone in leggings in Paris, but it was a Sunday morning and they were styled up with a beautiful long knit and some designer accessories so I think if leggings in public are going to be acceptable, it’s like this.

This to me, is the epitome of Sunday street style cool. The thing I’ve been noticing about the French women here is they love to wear a sneaker, but they wear a really specific kind. Usually colourful or patterned, and low profile over chunky (unless they’re Salomons) These van, with the light straight leg denim - a little flash of ankle, and a lightweight trench with perfectly rolled sleeves looked so good.

A burgundy corduroy shirt (corduroy is another trend I’ve been noticing as the French are preparing for autumn) and her bright yellow shoes are already a lovely colour combination, but it was the scarf tied around the bag strap that bought it all together that caught my eye.

And my personal favourite, because there’s something genuinely exciting (at least to me) about seeing a beautiful French woman walking around in patent black loafers. It’s like seeing a wild animal in their natural habitat. Paired with a black blazer, blue jeans and a burgundy bag? That’s my love language.

It’s hard to compete with the street style here, so my approach has never been to compete but to hopefully blend in. And luckily I had 3 opportunities to try my method. From left to right lets call it: dinner, lunch and breakfast!

Odds and ends I’ve noticed today:

There are a lot1 of wasps in Paris.

Jet lag feels like it’s plunged me into early perimenopause and it’s making me sweat all the time.

People take their young kids to museums and teach them about art and the etiquette of how to behave in museums (no touching, no loud noises etc.) In Australia, I don’t think we do this as much, unless there are specifically kid friendly activities at these places.

Some streets smell horrible early in the mornings (before the rubbish has been collected!)

Bread is served on the table with most meals, but no butter.

Thank you so much for joining me on day two of my adventure. I’d love to hear if you had a favourite outfit (and it doesn’t have to be one of mine!) or a highlight that jumped out for you.

Can’t wait to share what day 3 has in store!

À plus x

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Even though, as I sit and write this at 5:30 in the morning Paris time, I feel foggy headed and pretty jet-lagged, I can still think clearly enough to save you from all the boring details.

The only thing you need to know about that day of travel is that I chose my travel outfit well (and if you’re ever in doubt about what to pack: always pack a trench.)

Something you should know about me is I’ve been fortunate to travel quite a few times to quite a few places. The other thing you should know about me is I’ve never once been able to keep a travel journal.

I think because traditional travel journals expect you write down all the monuments you visited, subway lines you caught and meals you ate.. and quite frankly, that stuff doesn’t light me up. Don’t get me wrong! I’m very happy to see beautiful places and eat lovely things - but unless they are truly stand out events, I’m happy to not let them take up too much space in my mind or my journals!

(I am sharing that day to day stuff on my instagram reels though so you can follow along there if you like.)

The things that do light me up though? Fashion! Style! Art! People! So in the spirit of done is better than perfect, I’m going to use this space here as my loosey-goosey travel journal.

Not a comprehensive record of what we did.

Not a guide.

Not even necessarily a particularly coherent account of my day. Just a place for me to share little random moments from my day that I was fast enough to capture or interested enough to record.

Starting with: the 5 most fashionable French women I was able to sneakily photograph.

Obviously as a mum myself, I am always on the lookout for other mums who bring the goods. And let me tell you: these two mums ATE.

Utterly obsessed with everything about this outfit from the perfect bob all the way down to the red jellies. Tell me how masculine items end up looking so feminine? Is it the ankle length crop of the pants? Or the coloured bracelets that mirror the colours of her shirt? Whatever this witchcraft is: I want some for me.

I bet this woman who had taken her kids to the local park wasn’t thinking “Oh today I’m going to be featured in an Australian girls fashion substack.” And I can tell that she didn’t think that because nothing about this feels manufactured. This simple outfit caught my eye because the breton top was tucked so perfectly, the jeans were the exact right amount of slouched and wrinkled, and the sneakers were really cool and interesting while working in total harmony with the faded grey of the jeans and the off white of the striped long sleeve. Also: shout out to another perfect bob.

Ok. Did this catch my eye because it’s something I would 100% wear? Yes. But also a great reminder of how good a messy bun and a linen blazer with some rolled up sleeves can be.

As someone who isn’t personally a huge fan of skirts, or florals, I think I just found my exception. Oh mon dieu. This floral painted denim pencil skirt with the leopard ballet flats, are you even being serious right now? A black bag with brown shoes. A perfectly tucked and scrunched white long sleeve t-shirt. This WHOLE outfit is a masterclass in pattern and colour mixing without looking formulaic.

And maybe the best for last? Although how could you possibly choose a favourite? I’ll be honest, this outfit caught my eye because I have the same boots (I’ve never felt cooler by association than in this moment!) But once I got home and truly examined this look, I died. The barrel leg jeans tucked into the slouchy boots. The colour story of the blues and browns. The polka dot scarf tied into her messy hair. The long earrings and the slim square sunglasses. Woof. To be young and hot and French.

I’m almost (ALMOST) reluctant to share my outfits after these 5 incredible looks, but I liked them both and it’s my substack so I get to make the rules!

My new selfie spot in our accomodation! While mum took an afternoon nap, I insisted on pushing through the tiredness, so I wore basically what I’d been wearing for the whole 36 hours before (with one simple and necessary change of my tshirt) and went for a long slow walk around Le Marias, and over to Île de la Cité to see the beautiful (and decidedly NOT finished) Notre Dame.

A quick change before dinner. Did you know some restaurants don’t start serving until 7pm! To me that is SO late! I eat dinner at 5:30 with my kids, and I know that’s not cool to admit, but I love an early dinner. I also love an early bedtime and I love an early morning run. Guess as much as I’d love to be mistaken for French, ultimately my circadian rhythm will give me away (if my terrible French accent hadn’t already!)

And finally: here are just some random thoughts and observations I had from my first day in Paris:

• French men have RIZZ/ swag/ whatever you want to call it. Honestly, some of the best personal style I saw was on the men. Awesome bomber jackets, leather bags, cargo pants, pink jeans, long hair, blue earrings. (I’ll have to try and be faster with my camera beacuse…')

• French people walk fast!

• French people don’t seem to be bothered by the rain. Lots of totally soaked people just walking around, or cycling with their kids on the back of their bikes. I even saw one girl sitting outside a cafe, in the rain, smoking her cigarette and reading her book - as her book got wet. What an absolute baddie.

• People really will queue up to have a hot chocolate at Carette. (Don’t worry, I’m people too. I’ll report back!)

• Weekend style seems to be slouchy and undone - I’m wondering if that’s going to change once Monday rolls around?

And with that, I’ll sign off. The sky is starting to get a little bit lighter and I need to hatch a plan for my day. I hope you join me for the next 10 days too (btw: did you have a favourite street style look?)

À toute à l'heure!

x

When I say “start thinking” what I really mean is start consolidating my thoughts… because I’m never not thinking about what I would pack for a theoretical trip to Paris.

But the theoretical has become actual, and I leave in one week. (Eeeeeeeee!)

So what’s my packing plan?

Well, I can tell you what it’s not. I will not be following the sudoku method (although if that works for you, I love that for you!) And I won’t be following a capsule packing list either. I might base it off the one other time I’ve successfully packed for a holiday (which I wrote about here) but honestly, at this stage my method can only be described as Pure Chaos/ Vibes Based.

What’s the vibe?

Paris hardly needs an introduction. But for the purpose of this article let me provide some context. I’m travelling there with my mum for a girls only 10 day, child free romp (well, not totally child free: but this time, I’m the child.)

The plan is to sit on terraces and enjoy the views. Visit galleries and museums1 and shops and eat good food. Naturellement. Try to avoid scammers. Practice my rudimentary high school French. Soak in the history and the beauty, which, I’m sorry Australia: you just can’t even get close to in Melbourne. What do you mean our oldest building is 189 years old?2

So what am I going to pack to do those things?

FAR LESS than what I’m considering

Which so far I’ve managed to “narrow it down” to:

• 10 pairs of shoes … honestly, should I even continue?

• 4 pairs of travel pants (FOUR? I only have one set of legs. That’s spider packing.)

• 6 pairs of black pants (see point above.)

• 6 pairs of jeans (and AGAIN!)

OH LORD

• 5 bags

• 9 shirts/ blouses

• 5 camis/ vests…

The insane list goes on.

SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!

What is very clear to me is I have work to do.

So below I will share with you my process.

Step one: try on everything

Everything.

Everything with everything.

And then grab the accessories too. Need specific sunglasses or jewellery? Pull them out. Try them on.

Need to wear special underwear with any of the items? Pull it out.

Little shorts for under short dresses? Pull them out.

I don’t want to discover in Paris that the outfit I’ve agonised over (and to my mind perfected) requires a red lipstick and a strapless bra that I left at home.

Step two: fix and wash all the things

Cut out annoying labels and loose threads, and the little ribbon loops they put inside tops to make them hang easier in the store. Definitely cut the X stitching on the back vent of any jackets!

Check every collar for makeup stains, check every jumper for balls. I’m honestly shocked at how comfortable I am at putting slightly grubby clothes back into my wardrobe.

Need to add a hook and eye to a dress? Take it to the tailor3 (or even better, learn how to do it yourself!)

Need to put some topy on slippy soled shoes? Take them to the cobbler4.

Don’t give yourself jobs to do on holidays when you don’t have your resources at your fingertips. The aim here, despite it feeling pedantic at the time, is to arrive with a suitcase full of finished clothes. Ready to hit those cobblestone streets running.

Step three: Refine

For me my Index has been a blessing.

As much as I would love to dedicate my life to this task, so I could get it just right, I have a house to run and a family to keep alive.

So while I was doing the physical process of trying on all the clothes and all the combos, as things either passed the Paris test, or failed, I updated my “Paris packing list” in my Indyx app. That way, even when the physical clothes weren’t at my fingertips, I could quickly open up the app and make adjustments to my online wardrobe.

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There are a lot of great articles on what to pack and ways to optimise feeling great while travelling and on holidays (I was honoured to be asked to contribute to this post recently) but the thing I’m personally trying to focus on is feeling like myself. I don’t want to take advice that I wouldn’t necessarily follow in day to day life just because it’s written by people who travel more than me and I don’t want to pack a suitcase full of fantasy outfits (despite this being a bit of a fantasy trip.)

I suppose you could say my packing philosophy is that everything needs to earn its place. However, I don’t want to pack so many mix and match neutrals that I lose all personality. So, without boring you with my complete itemised packing list (that I have happily and successfully narrowed down from the list above) here are a few of the items I’m going to pack that pack a punch when paired back with my more simple basics (think denim or black pants)

At the end of the day I’ve learned that there’s nothing more polished and chic (gah! Is anyone else tapped out over that word now??) Than looking like you’re comfortable and being authentically you.

But just for shits and giggles: if you were going to Paris for a childfree romp: what would one of your packing non-negotiables be? As much as I’m happy with where I’ve landed… nothing is set in concrete until that bag is locked and checked!

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Despite feeling very glamorous and very extra, once I’d decided that the faux fur jacket was the thing I was wearing, the rest of the outfit somehow came together pretty easily.

But that doesn’t make for a very interesting read does it?

So instead of calling it a day and writing up the worlds shortest outfit recap, I decided that since I’d reached my three-outfit quota for the challenge I would give myself the rest of the week “off.” By off, I mean, no challenge item. No rules. No restraints. I could wear whatever I wanted.

And guess what happened…

PLOT TWIST

I felt paralysed by choice.

One day I ended up outfit repeating, and on another I basically semi-rotted in loungewear. Which is fine, obviously, but it did make me realise something I hadn’t expected when I started this challenge:

The constraint is actually helping me.

What started as a challenge to wear more of my (lets say “difficult”) clothes, has accidentally become an easier way of getting dressed.

It’s something that Kelly Williams and I chatted about very briefly in the comments section of her article here. She interestingly came to the same realisation, but from taking a completely different route. Saying:

“Piece repeating also reduces decision fatigue because you don’t have to start from scratch each morning; the biggest help for me. Honestly, sometimes we just need a place to start our outfit.”

(As I side note: I love when that happens! So often I’ll be marinating on an idea and then I’ll see it reflected back at me in one way or another and it’s like the universes way of saying: keep going! You’re onto something!)

So here’s where I’ve landed: Choosing one item each week, regardless of how extra or fun or dumb it is, gives me a clear jumping-off point when I get dressed. Instead of opening my wardrobe and thinking what do I feel like wearing today? I already have one decision made for me.

And from there, I can build.

It cuts down the time I spend agonising over what to wear, but somehow doesn’t make getting dressed feel less creative. If anything, having one thing to work around seems to make me more creative.

For anyone that’s worrying that my charming and haphazard type B personality is flying a little too close to the Type A sun, do not stress. I’m not saying I’m going to become the type of person who pre-plans a week’s worth of outfits any time soon. Or who whittles their wardrobe down to a capsule (that sounds both extremely organised and deeply unpleasant.) But I am saying, if you, like me, sometimes feel paralysed by choice in your own wardrobe, I would genuinely suggest picking just one item for the week and building your outfits around it. (I know a lot of very stylish and wonderful creators such as Rachel from Hey Mrs Solomon and Kerryn from Aura Personal Styling, pick a full theme or a rack for the week and swear by it!) But if that approach feels too overwhelming, give my approach a try.

The only rule is: once you pick it, there are no if’s, and’s or but’s. You pick it and then you commit to it.

It doesn’t have to be the most fun or interesting thing you own. It could be a pair of jeans, a jacket, or a particular pair of shoes.

But please, just choose one thing.

I promise it helps.

And if you do try it, tell me what your one thing is going to be in the comments. I want to know what your starting point is going to be (and if it works for you as well as it’s worked for me?)

I am, after all, nothing if not a cheerleader for you having more fun and less stress when it come to getting dressed.

Thank you for being here. x

Now, enough of the telling, it’s time for the showing!

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All the times I wore my faux fur jacket and the world didn’t spin off its axis:

To buy Cheeseymite scrolls

Ok - so the part of me that wants to be a Francophile is so embarrassed that I’m sharing this. What do you mean cheeseymite scorll? Well my friends, that is where the teenagers who work at Baker’s Delight take Vegemite and cheese and swirl it through dough and bake it into little rolls. Perfect for the school lunchbox. My son loves them… and I love any excuse to dress up when leaving the house! I felt like the sneakers and baggy jeans were the perfect way to subvert the luxuriousness of the jacket.

To do school pick up in the rain

One thing I’ve noticed about starting this style challenge in the winter is, no-one really blinks at the idea of wearing something “crazy” when it’s cold. There’s this understanding amongst us, it seems, that when it’s cold, anything goes. You need to wear two jackets? Fine. You need to wear all the clothes you own at once? Also reasonable. So compared to that, wearing a warm and cosy faux fur jacket on a cold wet day looked sensible and not that dumb at all.

To do a Zara return

I know what you’re thinking… if I’m returning something, why am I standing in a change room? Ok Sherlock. I did try on a bunch of clothes, but I’m happy? Sad? Not surprised? to report that nothing worked. What did work was my awesome outfit! A statement jacket + some modern shaped jeans + clean, minimalist ballet flats + a bit of a statement bag and pow! You’ve got yourself a solid outfit formula to repeat.

Now for the outfits I raw dogged.

Here’s the thing: I like this outfit a lot. What I don’t like, and what I’m reluctant to admit, is how long it took me to arrive at it. Maybe an hour? An hour of deep frustration. Trying things on, taking them off, walking around in a bra, getting hot, getting cold, feeling stressed every time my husband popped his head in to check on me and give me an “update on the time.” I KNOW THE TIME!!!! Anyway, our marriage survived and I made it to the family lunch on time.

In our family this jumper is our version of the “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants” jeans. It was originally my brothers, but my sister in law, my mum, my husband and I all wear it and all swear it looks the best on us! I’ve tried to find more of them and haven’t been successful. Anyway, this outfit was comfy and I liked it, but only as much as I can like an outfit that’s based around sweatpants. In my heart of hearts, I know that I feel my best when I make more of an effort with my outfits.

So there we have it. Next weeks fun dumb clothing item is going to be a very hairy oversized jumper that has big David Rose energy. Or maybe it’s more Moira circa The Crows Have Eyes. Either way, I love it, (but it challenges me.)

Make sure you’re subscribed so you can be with me on this journey (which is kind of fun no?) and then definitely make sure you’re subscribed and following me because in under three weeks I’ll be putting my Fun Dumb challenge on pause while I travel to (and live/ eat/sleep/ dream all things:) Pairs with my mum for 10 days.

It’s going to be fantastique.

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I’d bumped into our friend Nick at the supermarket and he told me he was going gluten free. He was standing in the cereal isle looking bewildered and I asked him what was wrong. He said he was just trying to figure out what he’s allowed to eat now - so I suggested oats. Be a porridge guy! All the cool kids are doing it! But then he told me it was actually oats that made him decide to go gluten free1.

When I got home I asked my husband: “Are oats made out of wheat?” And he laughed and said, “no, oats are made out of oats.” and I shrugged and said, “oh. Ok.” and then he said: “God, I wish I had your confidence” and then I said “what do you mean?” and he said (read this in a kind way because thats how it was delivered) “If I asked a stupid question it would haunt me forever. I love that you can just put yourself out there and if you end up looking stupid you just shrug it off, like, no big deal, just asking a question” and that got me thinking: Is my ability to shrug shit off the reason why I can wear a floral embroidered jacket to school pick up? Do I have a superpower??!!

No. I do not. But I do believe I have something other’s don’t and that’s an unfounded amount of self confidence.

Genuinely, I only just learned that I’m 5”7. My whole adult life I thought I was 5”9 because once upon a time I heard that’s how tall supermodels are and I just assumed I was like them(?!) Until my other friend Nic (girl Nic) asked me: “how tall are you?” and I said CONFIDENTLY “5”9.” And she said: “no you’re not, I’m 5”9.”

?!?!?!?!?!

I mean, WHERE DOES THAT CONFIDENCE COME FROM?!

I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record, but I really believe that confidence (in adulthood!) comes from practice. Just like anything else in life that you want to get better at, you have to put in the work.

Maybe I was a plucky and confident kid2 (I think to a certain extent, they all are!) but as you get older, if you don’t use it, you lose it.

So this week, I used it.

I used my hard won confidence to try and pull off wearing a embroidered floral jacket as per the terms of my self imposed style challenge (which you can read about here) and, I’ll be honest, this was a hard one.

I love the jacket in theory. It’s fun and quirky and bright - almost cartoonish - in a way that my clothes don’t usually tend to be. But, just like I discussed here, the things I love about it are also the things that challenged me when it came to wearing it. A bright, floral, cartoonish jacket in the depths of winter felt like a bit of a hard sell. While everyone else was looking sensible (and BORING) in their black winter puffer jackets, I was working over time layering my thermals to make this jacket work.

Here’s the good news: with the right amount of thermals on, you can make a cotton jacket in winter work.

Here’s the other good news: I wore it, even though I felt kind of foolish, and my life didn’t change even a tiny bit.

Oh! Actually, that’s not true. My life did change a tiny bit: I grew a percentage more confident.

Maybe that’s the lesson I needed to learn this week? It’s not that having confidence means you’re going to get “it” right every time (outfits, asking questions, knowing your own height etc) It’s the security that comes from knowing you’ll survive getting it wrong.

Please join me as I walk you through this weeks wins and losses. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the jacket and as always I’m definitely open to hearing any styling ideas.

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All the times I wore my floral jacket and the world didn’t spin off its axis

So this was actually a big win. I was attending a floral themed paper collage workshop with my girlfriends and we didn’t HAVE to dress on theme, but not dressing on theme would have been a major missed opportunity.

I applied some of the lessons I’ve recently learnt and tried to match loud with loud. Somehow, pairing the jacket with red velvet ballet flats and a bright beanie, sort of diffused how full on the jacket is? Also I felt very scandi maximalist cool. Not a look I usually master.

For this special occasion (collecting take away) I decided to allow the jacket to be the single point of focus and have the rest of the outfit be more of a blank canvas. And blank is the operative word. I felt blank. It looked blank. This was not a win in my books.

So for this trip to the post office I decided to go back to my first strategy: try to diffuse the intensity by pairing it with other “intense” items. Great in theory but this execution felt off. The proportions didn’t do it for me… and neither did the colours. Was it a bad outfit? No, did it make me feel great? No. It was just clothes on my body.

Ultimately I guess that’s all getting dressed is. Everyday we just have to put SOMETHING on our bodies. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It doesn’t have to be flattering. It doesn’t even have to make sense to anyone else. But I’m personally of the opinion that since we have to do it: we might as well enjoy it.

So I’ll continue with this “wearing Fun Dumb items from my wardrobe” challenge. And I’ll keep practicing being confident even when I feel silly. And I’ll keep trying to learn more about myself in the process. I just hope my next feature item is more Fun than Dumb.

Please help me decide:

Thank you so much for reading Sophie’s Obsessed. It is so incredible to me that there are over 500 people subscribed to this substack. And I know for some people, that may not seem huge, but to me: it’s huge. It’s a privilege to get to sit down each week and write it for you guys. So thank you for following along on this journey.

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No one is going to save you.

If it sounds dramatic, it IS dramatic. But let me explain. No one is going to hand you a gold star for working yourself into the ground. No one is going to look at you and see how depleted and drained you are and book a holiday for you. No-one is going to see all the extra effort you go to and hand you a thank you present.

What they’re going to do is look at you and think “Great. She can handle more.”

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And so more gets piled on, and you get more drained, and exhausted, and resentful.

I don’t want to stereotype but this feels like a pretty uniquely female experience. (That’s where the resentment comes in for me personally.)

So what do we do?

WE HAVE TO SAVE OURSELVES!

We have to give ourselves the gold star, the present, and the rest. We have to carve it out for ourselves, put it in our calendars, and sometimes, add it to our shopping carts.

And that’s exactly what I’ve done this week.

I am a full time stay at home mum, which in this economy is a HUGE privilege, but there are a few drawbacks:

• No time off

• No end of year bonus

• No monetary value (at all) placed on the work that I do

• No general recognition in society at large that being a full time mum IS IN FACT a full time job.

Generally speaking, my co-workers are cool. But this past week my tiny boss has been sick, and it’s resulted in me working around the clock. Sleeping in her room listing to her cough and choke on phlegm all night long. Contact naps during the day (they hit different when the “baby” is 21kgs) Constant stress over how little she’s eaten. Taking showers together. Reading endless facts about sharks. Watching endless episodes of Bluey. Dragging her to the doctors, twice. On top of still running the house. Making sure the school uniform is clean each day and there’s food for lunchboxes. Getting dinner sorted for everyone each night. Keeping the space clean and tidy. Truly, the list is incredibly mundane, and incredibly long.

So here’s a quick list of ways that I have used and will use again to save myself. If you need someone to remind you to take something for yourself, here I am: TELLING YOU - Girl! Put that oxygen mask over your own face first.

Little disclaimer before I dive into this list: 1) This list is probably most relevant for mums with small-ish kids, but not exclusively so. 2) A lot of the ways I’ve learned to cope in this modern world involve spending money. I don’t have much of a network or “village” to call on in times of need, so I tend to throw money at the problem. Its up to you to make the call if you want to ease some of your misery or be the richest woman in the graveyard.

1. ADD TO CART

If you think I’m above an impulse shop to boost the dopamine, I am not. Buy something that makes you smile. After I made a whole post about how I’m in no rush to fill the space I’d created from doing my wardrobe clear out, I spent my entire budget for July in one day. I’m not going to justify each purchase to you, or plead my case - mainly because I have no justification. I was exhausted. I was hating my reality. I thought buying bright fun clothes would equate to living a bright fun life (And once I’m through this tough phase I truly believe it will.) But I’m sharing it here to show you - we all do it. Maybe not as aggressively as I did it… but… We all buy things impulsively, and for the dopamine, and if you occasionally wake up to confirmation e-mails after a hazy sleep deprived night, you’re not alone.

2. FOOD IS FOOD

Breakfast for dinner is completely acceptable. So is food from the freezer. Some of my son’s favourite meals are probably the ones that are my smoke signal to the world that I’m barely hanging on: scrambled eggs on toast. Fish fingers on a bowl of microwave rice. Weetbix piled with yogurt and honey and banana.

3. OUTSOURCE THE SAUCE

Pay extra to get your groceries delivered. I know this isn’t revolutionary, but for a perfectionist with control issues (read: anxiety) I personally hate letting other people select my groceries. I want to be the one to select the exact right capsicum1. Except, not really. I don’t love spending hours of my life at the supermarket, pushing a trolly around the same brightly lit isles, wondering “what else is food?” As I buy the same shit I did two days before.

4. DINNER’S SERVED

In the same vein of paying for your groceries to be delivered, allow yourself to order takeaway on a week night if you need to.

5. TAP IN TO TAP OUT

Tap in your trusted people. My husband can’t really lighten the load for me Monday - Friday, because he’s got work, and he works late most nights. So on the days where he can, I tag him in. Over the years (perhaps my whole existence?) I’ve been conditioned to prioritise his (men’s) happiness and rest above my own. But let me just reiterate this for you, no-one has been conditioned to do the same for me. So I say to him: Babe, I’m tapping out.

Another great source of support has been my mum friends. I hate asking them for favours though because they’re all drowning in their own version of modern motherhood… but if I’m desperate, I know I’ve got some girls who have got my back.

6. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

Noise cancelling headphones. Between the hours of 4:30 - 5:30 mummy puts her headphones in and listens to her own music as she cooks dinner. The kids can watch TV (for any Aussie readers, I pray that you don’t have to suffer through the squealing of GG Spawn Squad as much as I do) or they can fight with each other, or they can stomp around and dance or build pillow forts and I don’t have to hear a thing. (Obviously I can still hear if something is truly wrong.)

7. JOY TIME

And finally, once you’ve carved some time out for yourself, fill that time joyfully. Maybe with exercise (those endorphins really do wonders) Maybe with some time in nature (gosh, can you hear that? It’s the sound of no 4 year olds coughing.) Maybe with some friends (nothing is as healing as laughter) A hair cut (truly a miracle cure) A massage or pedicure. There are unlimited options for a woman with some spare time and a little bit of cash. And believe me, no one is more efficient than a woman who has an hour to herself.

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The point I guess I’m making (and I’m now going to try and clumsily link it to my Fun Dumb clothes challenge - you can read more about it here) is that some weeks are really hard, and there is no one big magical fix that will stop it from being really hard.

But there are lots of little things you can do to make it feel slightly easier.

When Phoebe got sick last week, I knew I was going to have a challenging week. Lots of time spent at home, not a huge amount of adult interaction, and a week spent generally putting my own needs at the bottom of the list.

So when it came to nominating a Fun Dumb item from my wardrobe to spotlight, I had to consider: what’s something that fits that category but is also realistic for the week I was heading into. That’s how I landed on my fluffy slides.

The verdict is (because I know this is getting quite long!) They were a great choice. Not because they magically made having a sick kid at home all week feel fun (they didn’t.) But because they made me feel a little more special, and my outfits felt a little more considered.

Wearing them felt like I’d done something nice for myself AND they unexpectedly removed one tiny (but sometimes quite annoying) decision from my day.

Having one joyful thing pre-selected, that I could automatically reach for felt... surprisingly helpful.

Which just reinforces my point! Sometimes saving yourself isn’t big and dramatic. Sometimes it’s wearing fluffy shoes and eating burgers for dinner.

In my heart of hearts, I hope reading this article has been a massive waste of your time! I hope you’re so supported by your village, and your nervous system is so regulated that you don’t need a strange woman from the internet telling you to wear hobbit shoes and to eat frozen meals. But! If you’re experiences look a little more like mine - firstly, hello! Secondly: Is there anything small or big you’ve been doing to save your sanity (lets use the comments section to share any extra life hacks!) and Thirdly, please like, or comment, or restack or share. It means so much to me. X

All the times I wore fluffy shoes and the world didn’t spin off its axis

1. Fluffy shoes kept my feet warm, during a mid afternoon cuddle and snooze.

2. Fluffy shoes made taking the bins out feel more elegant.

3. Fluffy shoes made school pick up cosy - plus it was pyjama day so it looked like I was dressing on theme. Win/win.

And finally, you thought we were done here, but we are not! The next Fun Dumb item to be highlighted from my wardrobe will be….

My new floral Zara jacket. It’s going to be a fun one!