And I can’t help but wonder: am I overqualified for love now?

Is the time I spent upgrading myself and my personality actually the thing that keeps love away from me?

Let’s face it. Most of the population don’t do that. They don’t work on themselves. They prefer to keep it closed. It’s a dangerous territory to even step in. Most people are not that ambitious regarding their career, or look after their health, or have empathy or emotional intelligence. So the general idea is that the more you level up, the less you will have to choose from.

Maybe love is not something that exists when two people are complete, but the thing that makes them grow together into completeness. And I see this in all the relationships around me. Most of the time, they meet at a time when they both are figuring out their lives and are a complete mess. Some of them are at the lowest point of their life, and they slowly figure things out together. Their relationship is often impulsive and doesn’t make sense at that time, but they followed their heart anyway, and now they are fine.

Maybe I am the one that crossed all this road alone. And there is no one waiting for me at the end of it.

And I am not gonna lie, all these dark thoughts have given me a stupid idea to kinda quit. Quit evolving, quit working on myself. Thinking it was gonna make finding love even harder and harder, and I will just wait for it to meet me where I am.

But the single most established fact in the world is that you never know! You never know what the future holds for you, and what if, at the end of the road, there is a crossroads and your paths will, in fact, meet each other, or maybe there is a whole city with beautiful scenes and lights and a whole shiny life, but you will miss it waiting on the side of the road in the dark.

If someone has a trauma from riding a bike, they may advise you against it even tho it’s good for your health and relatively safe.You can say that about almost anything else, like marriage, career, and even outfits!

AND SPEAKING OF OUTFITS, OUR MAIN SUBJECT

You really have to stop asking people about your outfit

s. And WHY is that? Because it’s YOUR outfit, YOUR style.

I am not talking about a situation when you have a wardrobe crisis, and you can’t figure out for the life of you what to wear to an event or a date.

I am talking about a situation that you and I both know very well. You have a style, or multiple styles even. People often compliment you on your outfits. But every damn time you ask your friends if this item would go well with this or not, or when you all share what you're gonna wear on some night out, they always tell you it’s a TERRIBLE idea, and you shouldn’t wear that.

Even though I am sure if you come wearing that without asking, they will compliment you on it.

You may be confused about why this is happening; let me tell you.

Remember when I told you it’s YOUR STYLE. YES, that’s the answer.

When you wear an outfit, it isn’t just your body that is carrying it. It is your confidence, interests, even your aura. And eyes are always drawn toward uniqueness.

You can look at the fashion trends. Who puts it ? Who decides that this piece or color is in for the summer? There is always one who starts and other that follow. Take Hailey Bieber, for example. Girls are obssesed to follow basiclly anything she does. The popular girl at your school. People don’t question their fashion choices because, to them, they set the standard.

So let that be you.

So Next time you are douptful to wear the red scarf, the cat hat, the funny socks, red and pink, or whatever unsafe outfit choice, but a choice that feels like you, just wear it. Along with confidence.

You can, of course, see that this concept is applicable to anything in your life, including your life choices.

WE ALL MOST DEFINITELY NEED ADVICE. But let it just be that- only advice. Don’t follow it blindly.

But I urge you to have a sense of fashion, though, before applying all of that . Some outfit choices are indeed very questionable.

I am not advising you to be A FANCY NANCY. Unless you really want to. You can absolutely be a fancy nancy.

^{I have worked a lot on my personality. I was not born as the person I am today. That gives me so much pride. But to a certain extent, I have begun noticing a pattern in the process of changing my personality traits. Some of them deeply needed changing. Like my anger issues. That was a big problem. I know that it was the result of the environment I grew up in, but you reach a certain age, and your free trial of victim mentality has to end. You have to start taking accountability for your actions. You can’t keep wandering around with your shitty personality and tell people, Forgive me, I have trauma.}

_{So I have realized that I own some shitty traits, and I have got to erase them. As the years go by, and until yesterday, when I picked up some trait that made me insecure because of someone's reaction to it, and I was ready to throw it in the personality trash. I felt very vulnerable. I felt like I was exposing my raw flesh, as if a piece of me was ripped out of my soul.}

_{And it hit me: I went too far. I was carried away trying to please everyone around me. Trying to be lovable. chosable. I chased the feeling of acceptance so hard from anyone but myself! I saw the person I am today, and I didn’t recognize her.}

_{I fooled myself for a long time, calling that awareness and emotional intelligence, but this was far from the truth.}

_{When you erased the girl that asked to be seen, that had high expectations according to them at the time. You also erased the girl who always went the extra mile for her loved ones no matter what. That burned her brain trying to make everyone around her feel heard and seen. You only asked for pieces of what you gave, and they called that entitlement. So you became a version that you always despised. A passive person that doesn’t give because she almost never receives.}

_{You let go of the girl with a sense of leadership when they mocked your suggestions. So now you just say I don’t know even tho you have the whole trip planned in your head.}

_{The girl who rushed to help everyone in any minor inconvenience was also abandoned when she stood alone on her darkest day .}

_{YOUR MENTAL HEALTH is important, and you need to protect your peace. Believe me, I understand your motive, but have you really reached peace? I know you didn’t, and you will never do . Because this isn’t you . You were never meant to be passive. You care. You care deeply, and you can’t help it. You notice things. You notice the little twitch in the smile that hides sadness . The shift in tone, the brief silence between sentences.}

_{You absorb all these feelings and return home with that huge burden that YOU HAVE NOTICED but didn’t do anything about it.}

_{You really have to accept that you are an EMPATHETIC, HELPFUL, THOUGHTFUL, AMAZING NICE PERSON.}

Who could ever convince you that these are worth erasing traits?

So damn you, empathy

I could never escape you.