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Happy Friday!!!

I’m following up on a question from one of our Love Unscripted community members, a question many of you may have wondered about, too.

She asked, “Why do men ghost women after what seems like an enjoyable chat not just once, but several times? Why not simply say they’re no longer interested instead of cutting off communication?”

It’s a thoughtful question, so I did some digging. Here’s what I found, along with a few ways to respond when it happens (excluding scams).

If you’ve been ghosted, you know the particular sting: no argument, no goodbye, just silence. You may find yourself replaying the conversation, looking for the moment things went wrong. But ghosting can reflect avoidance rather than anything about your worth. We can’t know someone’s reasons without an explanation, but here are a few possibilities in this chapter of life:

· Dating again feels harder than expected. After a long marriage or the loss of a spouse, someone may feel ready to date until a real connection begins to take shape.

· The conversation brings up difficult feelings. Grief, comparisons with a former partner, or fear may surface, and silence can feel easier than explaining.

· They feel overwhelmed. More attention or conversations on an app than expected may leave someone struggling to keep up.

· They don’t know how to say they’re no longer interested. Ending a connection by text can feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable, so they avoid the conversation altogether.

· They aren’t invested. Messaging takes little effort, and interest can fade quickly. Some people disappear rather than explain.

I remember how difficult it was when I first reentered the dating world and romantic feelings surfaced. The grief surfaced, and more than once I wanted to run, and I did. I specifically remember having a lovely date and driving home crying because past memories flooded me with emotion. Men are not immune. No one is. Everyone, unless you are classified as psychologically “different,” experiences hurt, and you may react in an unexpected way. I’m trying to practice grace as I navigate this chapter.

Notice what these possibilities don’t establish: that something is wrong with you. Someone else’s silence doesn’t measure your charm or your worth.

You can’t control whether someone disappears, but you can choose how you respond.

1. Keep their silence in perspective. It says more about their follow-through than your value.

2. Consider moving beyond app messages early. A phone call or coffee within a week or two may help you see whether the connection extends beyond casual chatting, rather than investing weeks in text alone.

3. Stop auditing every message. Rereading the conversation for something you did wrong may leave you chasing an answer that isn’t there.

4. Give yourself closure. If you want to send a final message, one kind line is enough: “I’ve enjoyed chatting. I’ll assume the timing isn’t right. Take care.” Then let it go.

5. Decide whether to reopen the door. If they return weeks later with “Sorry, I got busy,” you don’t have to respond. You can decide whether you want to give the connection another chance.

Here’s the part that can be harder to sit with: ghosting goes both ways. Many of us have gone quiet on someone because we didn’t know what to say. It may help to ask yourself:

· Have I ever disappeared on someone?

· What would I have wanted from the other person if our roles were reversed?

Your answers may soften the sting and shape how you end a connection next time.

When I was on the apps, before getting thrown off, I’m still carrying a little bitterness about that one. I used to close with something like, “It’s been nice getting to know you; good luck.” I felt it was rude not to respond after we’d messaged each other more than 3 times. That felt right for me. You have to do what feels right for you.

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I’d love to hear from you. Has this happened to you, and what helped you move on? Share your experience in the comments or bring it to the next Love Unscripted show. Keep the questions coming.

Join the chat! Thank you for being part of the conversation.

That’s it for now…..

Traci 🤍

The video lags, but the message is clear. Thanks for understanding.

Hello friends,

Now, I want to hear from you!

I have three questions for everybody watching.

First: What would you most like a man to explain about dating and relationships?

Second: When you need advice, do you want your best friend to tell you what you want to hear or what you need to hear?

And third: What topics should we tackle on Love Unscripted next?

Put your answers in the comments. I really do want to hear from you.

I love hearing your perspectives, because this community is about all of us, not just me sitting here talking!

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SAVE THE DATE: Sunday, November 8th at 2:00 P.M.

Season 2 of Love Unscripted

Here are a few topics up for discussion:

· Open relationships with boundaries

· Living apart but being in a committed relationship

· 70 – 30 Rule

· When and how to end a relationship

· Getting refunded after a first date

· Religious differences

· Racial differences

· Alone vs. Lonely

· Hook-up culture for people over 50

· They joke too much

· They have wandering eyes, particularly with younger, barely dressed people.

· When to call it quits?

· Salary differences

· Age differences

· Athletic types vs. non-athletic

· Stereotypes

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I want to hear from you! I figured out how to include the poll. Just scroll down to comment and to vote.

Let’s play!!!

❤️ Love Unscripted audience poll

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Life truly is a roller coaster, and this week I’ve been grateful to feel myself climbing again. After the heaviness and unexpected turns of the week before, this upswing has felt like a breath of fresh air, a reminder that difficult moments pass and joy can return when we least expect it. I’ve laughed more, felt lighter, and found reasons to be hopeful. Still, even in the brighter moments, I keep finding myself looking inward, digging a little deeper, and asking difficult questions about this chapter of my life. Maybe that is part of growth: learning to appreciate the good days without using them to avoid the questions that are still asking to be answered.

One of those questions surfaced in the chat. If you haven’t joined the discussion yet, I hope you’ll take a look, because what began as a simple conversation quickly opened the door to something much deeper. We started by asking how couples handle disagreement: If your partner disagrees with you but genuinely listens to your point of view, is that a red flag, a green flag, a beige flag, or simply a situation that depends on the people involved? Beneath that question was an even more vulnerable one: Is it better to be alone, or to remain in a relationship that leaves you unhappy, unseen, or disconnected from yourself?

Then, almost as if life wanted to make sure I paid attention, an article appeared on my Instagram feed in which Paula Patton discussed the very same idea. The timing stopped me. I don’t know whether to call it coincidence, confirmation, or simply one of those moments when a question follows you until you are ready to sit with it. Whatever it was, I knew this was a conversation worth exploring more deeply in Season 2, not only because so many of us may wrestle with it, but because it caused me to pause and examine my own heart.

I’ve said many times that dating at this stage of life can be difficult, but sometimes I wonder whether that word is too small. By the time we reach our 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond, we have lived full, complicated lives. We carry memories, responsibilities, routines, disappointments, wisdom, scars, and hopes that may have survived more than we ever expected. We know ourselves better than we did when we were younger, but that self-knowledge can make opening our lives to someone new feel both more meaningful and more frightening. We are not beginning with blank pages. We ask another person to enter a story already in progress and hope they will honor what came before while helping us imagine what might still be ahead.

I understand the longing for a “beautiful, easy relationship.” I feel it too. Part of me wants love to arrive gently, fit naturally into my life, and make everything feel lighter. But I also know that kind of effortless perfection is a fantasy. Real relationships ask something of us. They require honesty, patience, compromise, forgiveness, and the willingness to remain present when things feel uncomfortable. I keep asking myself not whether love takes work, but how much work is healthy and when holding a relationship together begins to pull us away from who we are.

That is where my own contradictions live. I want companionship, but I don’t want to disappear into someone else’s life. I want a partner to share the ordinary days, the celebrations, the worries, and the quiet moments, but I also want to preserve the independence I have worked so hard to build. I want the ease of being deeply known without losing the freedom to make my own choices. I want closeness and autonomy. I want support without control, partnership without self-abandonment, and love without having to make myself smaller to keep it.

Maybe that sounds contradictory, but I’m beginning to believe it is simply honest. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want, especially when life has taught you the cost of ignoring your own needs. Perhaps the real work is learning which desires can coexist, which expectations need to soften, and which parts of ourselves we should never surrender just to avoid being alone. I don’t have all the answers yet. But I’m willing to keep asking the questions, and I hope we can explore them together with the honesty, compassion, and courage they deserve.

So I’d love to hear from you: What has love asked you to hold onto, and what has it taught you to release? Have you found a way to make room for companionship without losing yourself? Your experiences may help someone else feel less alone as they work through the same questions.

That’s it for now!

Traci 🤍

Step into The Situation Room with me again, and imagine you’re sitting beside me on your laptop as a co-host. I want to hear your honest reactions, personal experiences, and the advice you would offer as we work through each situation together during the livestream. There are no perfect answers—just a chance to listen, reflect, laugh a little, and learn from one another. Read each scenario, trust your instincts, and tell us what you really think. Your perspective might help someone see the situation in an entirely new way.

Our second poll is below. Choose the answer that feels most true to you, then join the conversation and share why. Is it a red flag, a green flag, a beige flag, or does it depend on the people and circumstances involved? Picture us gathered in The Situation Room, exchanging viewpoints and talking through the question together. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

Let’s share our thoughts!

Until next time, stay curious, stay…

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Hello friends,

When I created Love Unscripted, I knew I wanted to talk about love in all its forms.

After a full season of heartfelt conversations, something became beautifully clear...

Love is about so much more than dating.

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What a week!!! Life was firmly in control, and I had no choice but to go with the flow, even when I didn’t feel graceful about it. My attitude wasn’t always sunny, and sometimes I felt tired, frustrated, and, honestly, a little overwhelmed. In times like these, I find myself wishing my “Prince Charming” could swoop in, take some of the weight off my shoulders, and somehow make everything feel better. But the reality is, there is no such thing. I have to cope, make decisions, and solve the problems in front of me on my own.

That has been one of my biggest hurdles since becoming a widow. It isn’t only the absence of my husband; it’s the absence of the person who knew me so well that he could see what I needed before I could always name it myself. He gave me the best suggestions and offered them gently, without ever making me feel like he was “trying to tell me what to do.” And if you know me, you know that matters, because I hate being told what to do. Before you call that …

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Join me for a discussion in The Situation Room as if you were right there beside me on screen as the co-host. I want to hear your honest reactions, your personal experiences, and the advice you would give if we were talking through each situation together during the livestream. There are no perfect answers here, just an opportunity to listen, reflect, laugh a little, and learn from one another. Read each scenario, trust your instincts, and share what you really think. Your perspective may help someone else see the situation in a completely new way.

Our first poll is below. Take a moment to choose the answer that feels most true to you, then join the conversation and tell us why. Would you see the situation as a red flag, a green flag, or something that depends on the people and circumstances involved? Imagine we’re all gathered in The Situation Room, sharing our viewpoints and working through the question together. I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say!

Let’s…

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Happy October!!!

I’m enjoying the Love Unscripted Journey, and I’m grateful for your ideas, comments, and support. They have meant so much to me.

Season 1 of Love Unscripted wrapped up last Sunday, and planning for Season 2 is already underway.

I’m so grateful for the lessons and creative opportunities this season has brought. I’m doing something different for Sunday. So, stay tuned.

This season, I’ve had to pivot along the way, but each change has made me more flexible and adaptable. Your comments, stories, and questions have helped me navigate this chapter of Love Unscripted. I hope our conversations have been just as meaningful to you.

Remember, if being on camera isn’t for you, there are still many ways to participate. Leave me a message, and I may share it on the show so we can discuss your question or concern. You can also join the chat. Let’s keep supporting one another!

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Leave a question or comment at (717) 500-1840, and I may share it on Love…

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Thank you for joining me on this journey and for sharing your ideas, comments, and support. It has meant so much to me.

Season 1 of Love Unscripted wrapped up last Sunday, and planning for Season 2 is already underway. Sunday was especially special, despite a few technical issues at the start. I was thrilled to close the season with our newest Lovebirds, Kelly and Kenny. After attending high school together and living separate lives, they reconnected by chance. Their story is wonderful, and if you missed it, you can watch the episode here.

I’m grateful for the lessons and creative opportunities this season has brought. I’ve had to pivot along the way, but every change has helped me become more flexible and adaptable.

Your comments, stories, and questions have helped me navigate this chapter through Love Unscripted. I hope our conversations have been just as meaningful to you.

If being on camera isn’t for you, there are still many ways to take part. Leave me a message, and I …

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I can’t believe we’ve reached the end of 12 episodes! Thank you for being part of this journey and for sharing your suggestions, comments, and support. It has all meant so much to me.

Season 1 of Love Unscripted wraps up this Sunday at 6:00 PM Eastern Time. But don’t worry, planning for Season 2 is already underway. I’m thrilled to close the season with the story of our newest Lovebirds!

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I’m delighted to introduce Kelly and Kenny! They went to high school together, lived separate lives, and later reconnected by chance. They have a wonderful story to share.

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I’m so sorry about the poor sound quality in my last episode. I tried new equipment and couldn’t test the audio beforehand. Ugh! Even so, I loved talking with my cousin Jane. I appreciated her honest perspective on dating at this stage of life, what she wants, and what she won’t settle for. If you missed the episode, you can watch it here.

Can you believe September is almost over? The days are flying by! I’m thrilled to close the season by sharing the story of our newest Lovebirds! I look forward to sharing more about them in Friday’s article.

As Season 1 of Love Unscripted winds down, I’m grateful for the lessons and creative opportunities it has brought. I’ve had to pivot a few times, but each change has taught me to stay flexible and adapt.

Love Unscripted is teaching me to navigate this time in my life through your comments, stories, and questions. I hope you find it equally valuable.

If being on camera isn’t for you, there are still plenty of ways to participate. Call a…

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