I’m grateful for such a rich Substack community – and for all of those who said yes to my request to write for my very small and unknown Substack (thank you).

Author and journalist Caroline Madden provides useful, honest advice to writers and was recommended by my writer friends and . I’ve loved her posts, so if you’re an aspiring author, especially in the pre-agented stage, subscribe to her publication. She’s such a cheerleader for authors, and her positive vibes are sprinkled around like fairy dust. (She calls this “book karma” and I love it.) She has such a wonderful publication story, her long journey to success, and demonstrates that if you have a dream and keep at it, you too can make it. (Of course, I’m sure living it at the time wasn’t too exciting, though.) Her novel, The Marriage Vendetta, was so intriguing that I couldn’t wait to get a copy, and I was not disappointed. I still think about it from time to time – and the ending.

I met the lovely and highly intelligent Emma Kriskinans in the comments section of an Substack post as longtime JBU fans and two women approaching our 40s with long-term relationships and no children (yet?), degrees in literature, and a love of reading. One day we’ll meet in person, but I’ve swapped very lovely emails and Zooms with Emma, and she’s delightful. She also has a highly successful career as the Senior Vice President of Marketing at Tyk, an API management platform, where she built the brand from £500k to £8m APR within four years. (No, I don’t really understand what API management is, but she’s very busy and important and highly productive, so I’m in awe.) Her publication Scrambled Eggs discusses culture, creativity, technology, and career. An avid traveller, she lives in Spain with her partner after having lived in London and Singapore – and travels extensively. She also hosted a delightful 60-Minute Book Club (60MBC) last year, and it was a brilliant way to read more short stories (I’m still thinking about Octavia Butler and Ted Chiang), and I hope she’ll host it again next year. I’ve also read part of her historical fiction/thriller novel in progress about the Spanish Civil War and the history of the area in which she lives – and hopefully someday soon it’ll be published.

I recently discovered Lori Crispo’s Filofax Diaries, and it’s like reading Bright Lights, Big City without all the drugs. It’s a nostalgic trip back to 1980s New York, where Lori juggles various jobs from museums to auction houses to Wall Street, whilst placing personal ads, spotting celebrities in clubs, and dating roller skaters. You’ll also appreciate the upbeat humour. Subscribe now and catch up on all of her 80s vignettes (under twenty chapters so far).

I’m a huge fan of my Substack friend and fellow avid reader, , who came up with this idea of Little Love Stories for my publication in the first place, and she and Beth Lisogorsky wrote all about the Off Campus hype before I jumped on the bandwagon. I was hooked by this delightful post and subscribed to Beth back in July. I’ve enjoyed her recommendations and look forward to her upcoming debut.

And, finally, this issue also features author Hattie Williams. Most of my reading (and I try to read at least 100 books per year) has come from Substack recommendations in the last couple of years, and Hattie was featured in a guest post I read (wish I could recall which), and I absolutely was intrigued by the synopsis of her novel, Bitter Sweet. I devoured it with its beautiful and haunting prose. I think many of us can relate to those feelings of being in our 20s, unbalanced power dynamics in dating, and, in recent years, for me, a deep sense of loss at the death of loved ones. I know you’ll love her novel. She and Caroline are now auto-buy authors for me.

Please enjoy the five little love stories this month:

Caroline Madden, Rising Tide Writers (author of The Marriage Vendetta and forthcoming The Village)

Growing up, I thought that a happy ending came in only one form: a man by my side, one single soulmate who would be my best friend, my partner for life.

I was wrong.

Here’s what love can look like – the busy children’s writer S, who drops everything to talk me off a ledge, and I do the same for her.

The short story writer E, who says ‘that’s a brilliant idea, you HAVE to write it!’ and when she’s low, I remind her of how talented she is.

The whip-smart columnist S, who says I’ve changed her life for the better, and I say it back to her because it’s true.

The wise memoirist M, who convinces me to be brave, not to worry about what people think, and I try to convince her of the same.

With this beautiful coven of writer friends around me, the other side of my bed no longer feels empty. It feels luxurious, allowing me to take up more space, to stretch to capacity.

There is another version of a happy ending: a circle of soulmates.

It feels solid. Loving. Safe. Because my writing coven is a coven for life.

Read about Caroline’s inspiring author journey and how, after a decade, she finally landed a dream book deal:

Rising Tide Writers

From a decade of failure to a dream book deal

Hey fellow writer…

Read more

10 months ago · 60 likes · 30 comments · Caroline Madden

Take a look at Caroline’s brilliant Substack, Rising Tide Writers, here, and if you’d like to order The Marriage Vendetta, “Wonderfully edgy and exquisitely funny,” in the UK, order here (only £5.99 on Kindle) and here in the US. Stay tuned for her announcement about her upcoming novel, The Village.

Lori Crispo, The Filofax Diaries

Alex caught my eye with a New York Magazine personal ad titled, “Newly available, broken engagement.” He was 26 to my 31, so dating him was out – but interviewing him wasn’t.

Seven years earlier, I’d called off a wedding three days beforehand, and had been fielding calls from about-to-be-marrieds regarding cold feet ever since. Enough calls that I wrote a book called Second Thoughts and landed an agent at William Morris.

Always looking for more jilter/jiltee stories, I replied to Alex’s ad, and we met over coffee. He told me about the ex who’d left him for another man, but the real confession was that his mother placed the personal ad to get him back out there. I found that tidbit hilarious—and endearing.

Days later, I was slated to discuss the book on CNN but needed a male perspective, too, or the segment was dead. Every guy I’d interviewed refused. Desperate, I called Alex: “I know we just met, but – CNN?” He snuck out of his law firm at lunch to put on TV makeup and tell his story.

The show was a hit, although my book never got published.

But, Dear Reader, two years later, I married him.

Read the full story.

The Filofax Diaries

Strictly Personals, New York Magazine

A month before my 29th birthday, I placed this personal ad in New York Magazine, spurred on by my greatest fear: if I crossed into my thirties still single, would I end up living out my days alone with Patchy, my one-eyed calico cat…

Read more

5 months ago · 17 likes · 10 comments · Lori Crispo

Check out Lori’s Substack, The Filofax Diaries, here.

Beth Lisogorsky, You Need to Watch This!

With Love, 20 Years Later

I can’t believe I’ll be celebrating 20 years of marriage in 2027. TWENTY YEARS. My husband and I met on JDate, a Jewish online dating site that, surprisingly, is still around all these years later.

Back then, I was chronicling my dating escapades in a Carrie Bradshaw-esque dating adventures blog. And if I’m being honest, I was mostly in it for the creative juice. The story. The material. Every date was a potential plotline, every awkward encounter a future anecdote, and every romantic misfire another opportunity to turn my love life into content. If only the Cloud existed back then, I could recover all these stories! Back to my husband…

I was his first JDate. He was my 100th. Or thereabouts.

I told him he didn’t need to go on another date. I was it.

I was pretty bold, come to think of it. Or shameless. Either way, we shacked up two dates in.

I hadn’t been living in his basement apartment long when we got robbed. So maybe the apartment was ours by that point. I did make the distinction clear when I panicked over the phone as he was parking and I entered the crime scene: “They took all my stuff!”

The “my” is a detail I’m embarrassed to admit to, and a running joke to this day, but in my defense, I was in a state of shock, after all. Plus, I was used to living alone and having to look out for myself.

That night, while thieves made off with our laptops and a 26-inch TV (as my husband recalls with eerie clarity), we went to see a Jim Carrey psychological thriller called The Number 23. I can’t keep my dog’s and kids’ names straight half the time, but the movie I saw the night a home invasion entered our lives? I remember it as clear as day. I’m a film critic, after all.

The event became a turning point for us. We bonded over the shared experience of getting screwed over by the cops and the insurance company. The cops couldn’t be bothered, and the insurance company made us realize we never stood a chance of getting anything back.

Don’t get renter’s insurance, BTW.

That wasn’t our only lesson, though. As we emerged from the crisis, we learned a lot about how we communicate, work together, and fight back. It was a crash course. He had my back. I had his.

We’ve had plenty of practice building on that foundation since. We’ve lost loved ones, watched our kids grow up, weathered job losses, and career changes, lived through COVID lockdowns (never again, please) and the aftermath of October 7th. We’ve fought, gone to bed angry, been at odds, and disagreed about things, even things that mattered. Especially those. But we’ve also come back to talk about the hard stuff and figure out a path forward.

Twenty years in, I’ve learned that having each other’s backs doesn’t mean you always agree. The hard stuff is inevitable. What matters is whether you can face it together, even when you’re not entirely sure how.

A change of scenery helps, though.

Find out more about Beth’s debut novel, So This is Happening, set for publication in March 2027:

You Need to Watch This!

The Syl of It: Female Best-Friend Love, Empowerment & Cozy-Crime Bedfellows

When I started writing SO THIS IS HAPPENING, my workplace romance that’s headed for publication in March, I had a few plot and character ideas that were very much part of the original blueprint that evolved over time…

Read more

2 months ago · 29 likes · 23 comments · Beth Lisogorsky

Subscribe to Beth’s Substack here and pre-order her book, described as “Jewish Bridget Jones goes on an epic Eat, Pray, Love adventure,” here.

Emma Kriskinans, Scrambled Eggs

“Hitchcock thriller, six letters.”

“Psycho, surely?” I reach for the tin of biscuits nestled in the sheets between us. A jammie dodger before breakfast never counts.

“Not this time.” Nanna brings the tiny black and white grid to the bridge of her nose and back again. “I will say though, it’s nice to see a bit of creativity every so often.”

I rack my brains. “Vertigo?”

“That’s seven. Pass me a ginger nut, will you?”

I watch her savour it, the tiny burnt brown crumbs sticking to her lips until she licks them off. Even doing crosswords in bed, she remains glamorous: wearing a midnight blue silk nightie, the sort that bright young things of today wear to awards ceremonies.

She is ninety, and invincible.

Her gold wedding ring catches on the lace trim, and she stops. Investigates her delicate hands, long fingers with still-painted nails.

“These hands,” she declares, almost incredulously. “You know, I look down, and I can’t believe it. These can’t be my hands; they’re far too old.”

There’s something in the strength and simplicity of feeling that pierces me, draws a lump into my throat. For a moment, I can imagine her as a girl.

I look down at my own hand, then take hers. I squeeze tightly.

“Marnie.” She squeezes back. “It wasn’t one of his best.”

Read more about Emma and her grandmother:

Scrambled Eggs

The sunshine of your love

Hi friends…

Read more

2 years ago · 12 likes · 10 comments · Emma Kriskinans

Subscribe to Emma’s Substack, Scrambled Eggs, here.

Hattie Williams, Big Feelings (author of Bitter Sweet and the forthcoming Light Years)

“Lovesong”*

*The following is fictional

Four months after the first message, our first meeting:

He kisses me on Dean Street. I think, “The earth will remember this kiss longer than I will live.” It was Independence Day for him. In London, it was just a Friday.

The next morning:

Lying under him, I feel a permanent shift. I cry.

That evening:

The dying light of the most perfectly temperate day of the hot summer. He puts his arm around my shoulder, swerves my mouth. I know something is wrong. He responds with plans for California.

Time skips, here, to—

I don’t want to remember this bit.

Next:

I am sitting in a deckchair, knees humiliatingly around my ears. It is dark. Someone is yelling “peanut butter cookies.” No one knows who I am, nor do they ask. Just as I always suspected, I am nothing.

Midnight:

I bruise tearing off my golden wristband. For days, I live on the good American strawberry melatonin he gave me. I drown under the weight of thousands of tiny love letters.

Now:

I put my mouth to the surface and breathe. I think, “Loving him was not enough, but for a whole moment, everything was wonderful.”

Read Hattie’s beautiful story about her best friend and their children:

Hattie Williams: Big Feelings

The greatest love story of my life

I am in Menorca. It’s a stunning place. I am acutely aware of the extraordinary privilege that is the freedom to travel. I feel the weight of it, the inequity of it…

Read more

a year ago · 12 likes · 3 comments · Hattie Williams

Check out Hattie’s Substack, Big Feelings, here.

Pre-order Light Years in the UK here and in the US here. And if you haven’t read Bitter Sweet, I highly recommend it. (I listened on Audible and the narration was lovely.)

Want to write your own Little Love Story?

Inspired by The Modern Love Column in The New York Times, Little Love Stories are 200-word stories. The NYT’s column’s tagline is “stories of love, loss, and redemption.” I’ll accept any story about love. The prompt is open, and I love to be surprised. DM me to express interest and I’ll send the brief.

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start.

I have also written a novel, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission to publishers, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

If you’d like to tailor your subscription (where you can choose which sections of Why We Met that land in your inbox), find out how here (with video instructions).

Subscribe now

Take a look at Issue 3 here

Leave a comment

I’d say my publishing journey has zapped a lot of creativity with my emotions on tenterhooks. I’ve spent time this year rewriting the two novels I wrote in 2025 and waiting to see the fate of The Broken Engagement Club, so I haven’t written anything new, though I’ve been mulling over a couple of new ideas: one in the cosy mystery category and another in upmarket speculative fiction (if I can pull these off) – so away from my usual rom-com genre.

Plus, with a full-time job, living life, cleaning the toilet, loading the dishwasher, all general life bits, life just gets in the way, doesn’t it? I can only imagine how much harder this all becomes if you factor in children or elder care or any number of other scenarios. So we’re all pretty remarkable if we have any output at all. If we were all Dickens with a wife and servants, just think of the productivity! But then that would be sad for the people doing the serving because maybe they’re creative people, too. Sigh.

Either way, I’m glad those of you who stick around are still with me. Every time I post something, I lose anywhere from four to seven people (which is a lot for a small publication). But shared some wisdom with me recently from her author friend, JD Kirk, that if people unsubscribe, you’re just finding your perfect audience, so I’ll reframe it that way.

Thanks to my perfect writer and reader friends for being here.

Little Love Stories

The upcoming October issue of Little Love Stories (tomorrow) will feature , , , , and .

Then, for end-November, the issue features Dr , , and , who are on Substack, and some writers who aren’t: JH Mac Taylor and D.A. Connors.

Thank you to all those writers who have agreed when I’ve asked (or badgered?) you to contribute and those who have serendipitously come my way.

And shout-out to those fifteen amazing writers who have already written for issues: (who came up with the idea), , Dr , , , , , , , , , , , , and .

Read the first three issues here.

Please get in touch if you’d like to write for December and beyond.

December so far features author and journalist , so I have three spaces left to fill.

You don’t have to write a Substack, be an author, or have an Instagram. Try your hand at writing a 200ish-word love story (can be a little more, and love as a subject is broad: love for family, friends, pets, your favourite food, country, memory, whatever).

I love (hah) to be surprised at what these generous writers have come up with. Every one has been so different and beautiful.

Please reach out with your story and/or tell your friends. I hope to do this every month because reading people’s love stories and memories truly makes me smile.

I just love humans, and we need nice things in the world.

Thank you for over 500 subscribers

I started my Substack in September 2023 alongside therapy. Shoutout to Lorriaine, who really transformed my life.

I was unpacking my dating past, my ex-husband (AKA the fourth person I met at Starbucks), body image issues, trying to edit my Grandfather’s memoir, creative resistance, all sorts through hypnotherapy. I found writing my Substack and examining my history (sometimes quite painful and confronting) was excellent as a healing journey.

And some readers have (thankfully) enjoyed the story along the way, especially some of the more NSFW early chapters. I pulled from old diaries and emails to share my 20-something musings and drama. I was a little delusional, naive, and feral at times.

That past version of myself – now that I’m a few months shy of 40 – feels very far removed from the person I am now. But as my therapist said, I forgive her, I release her; she was doing the best she could with the tools she had at the time.

I’m lucky I’ve always had supportive friends and family. I don’t take this for granted, as I know that’s not the case with everyone. And overall, despite some bad things happening to me, I’ve lived a rather good life thus far. When you also compare this to the world’s atrocities, it’s nothing, but we only have our own lives to deal with.

I’ve never had a big push to get subscribers because my content isn’t for everyone. I’m grateful for those who read. I’d love to hear from you more. I see the silent readers in my stats, the ones without pictures, the ones who don’t have their own Substacks, and I wonder about you. How you found me. What your life is like across the world. But that’s just me. One thing that’s always stayed true to my core is I’m fascinated by people.

Moving from England to Florida to Georgia, USA at such a young age and having a culture shock, I never felt like I fully fit in. Even in England, I’ve always been a little outside. Maybe this is a narrative I tell myself, but I’ve often observed people to see how they do things. ( once said something along these lines, and I saw myself in that.) I like to see what makes people tick, what motivates them, how they shape their lives, interact, and so on. Perfect for a future author, I’d like to think.

Anyway, long story long, I finally hit over 500 subscribers and this feels quite significant so thank you. I appreciate all of my readers. Based on roughly 25-30% open rates, that means roughly 162 people regularly tune in. Putting 162 people in a room is a heck of a lot of people, so thanks.

Shoutout to my OGs (I’ve never used this phrase before in my life) Dr , (South Dakota Steve), , , , , , , , Ana S, Katie C, , and others. Sorry if some slipped my mind, I promise if you crop up again, I won’t forget you – but sometimes I can’t remember why I walked into a room or what happened last week.

Thank you to the real people behind these stories: Captain Cambridge, First Kiss, Tech Guy, ATC, the CFO, Professor Luke, and another uni friend I made out with once or twice (who have paid for founding and yearly memberships to support me – you guys are the best hah), my sister (Jae, who is always one of my biggest supporters), my Germany ladies, and my friends from uni (some also did paid subs), and more.

Also, I don’t really need paid subs (because of my day job), so it’s a nice surprise if people do pay me, but definitely not necessary.

Some of the juicier chapters are behind a paywall, but if you DM me, I can give you access.

Thank you, all.

As a thank you, I’ve comped some people (i.e. given you a free paid subscription forever) who I see have read a bunch of chapters, and you can now go back and read the paid bits. Thanks. Don’t be alarmed if your emails now say you’re a paid subscriber, please. No money is leaving your bank!

Obvs all the free support too is much appreciated. I would be writing into the void without everyone. Truly. I get it. Our bank balances can only stretch so far. And to be fair, I want most of my content to be free – not because I don’t think writing is worth compensating – but because if people want to support me in future, I’d rather you buy my novels!

I am so lucky to have built a wonderful community on Substack with more recent readers as well. Thanks to , , , Dr , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and so many more.

I have met so many writer friends I now feel like are IRL friends, and I have just yet to meet some of you in person. But one day, I cannot wait.

Reminder about tailoring your reading experience

You’ve heard from me often this month. You may not want to hear from me so much, so just a reminder that my Why We Met Substack has different sections:

• Why We Met, the story of how I met my husband via the circuitous route of all my dating disasters and relationships from high school to present-day)

• Present-Day Snippets, stuff I’m up to lately (like this post)

• Publishing Journey, an honest experience of behind the scenes of an aspiring author in touching distance of her dream

• Rom Com Reviews, a look at what I’m reading and watching in the rom com space (I’m a sucker for a rom com, but I read quite widely as I complete both my BA and MA in literature)

• Millennial Dating, general articles and musings on dating in the 2000s and 2010s plus general topics like body image issues, the media, etc (issues also apply to Gen Xers and prob before this and I’ve told have been amusing to Gen Z) – also my most neglected section and I often don’t email these out (i.e. they are published straight to the app)

• Little Love Stories, an end-of-the-month column featuring writers, readers, and authors, sharing their 200ish-word love stories (based on the Modern Love Column of the NYT’s Tiny Love Stories) – DM me if you’d like to submit your story.

Okay, so why am I telling you about my sections? You can segment your reading experience so you can either subscribe to a single section, all of them, a few, whatever suits you. Here are the instructions (plus video) on how to do this. Thank you for reading.

Reading goals

I mostly cover this in rom-com reviews, which you can check out here.

I’ve been reading quite slowly this month. I’ve been on book 87 (All the Light We Cannot See because my husband wants me to read it so we can talk about it) for at least a couple of weeks and need to get back to book 88 (one by Kristen Hannah) that I haven’t picked up since our Crete hol.

Michael wants me to read David Benioff’s City of Thieves next because he truly loved it – and can’t wait to talk about it properly with me. He even made me read the opening chapter out loud to him again when he was in the bath (trying to entice me to read on I think, and perve on him).

I am still hoping to hit 100 books by the end of the year, but if I get to 90 or 95 that’s okay too.

Nice bits

I went to dinner one random Thursday night in August over to Derbyshire with my cousin Pam and her best friend Gina (and their sons).

My in-laws came to dinner one night for Michael’s amazing goulash.

Not nice bit in the nice bits section: My husband’s stepfather has just finished chemo for testicular cancer, and he’ll be retiring early. He’s only in his early 60s and was an avid runner, football player, walker, and very fit, and he’s found the chemo and radiotherapy has really taken his energy from him, so I hope he gets his fitness back as it’s been a source of frustration for him.

I met my cousin and her husband and their children (and granddaughters) for a walk at Hollingworth Lake in Littleborough with my niece one weekend. I was too busy chatting to get photos. All these children bring me joy.

My niece had work experience at my hair salon, so she washed and styled my hair, which was lovely. I won’t share pictures because she finds it cringe now. I’ve officially become embarrassing.

I visited my family friend Jenny one day and also was able to have a brunch in Uppermill with my cousin.

At the end of August, El and I went to see author Jess Kidd at the bookshop Wave of Nostalgia in Haworth, promoting her book Little Spark. I’m a sucker for a signed copy, and the novel sounds so intriguing. Can’t wait to dig in.

Michael and I went on a short countryside walk near our house to celebrate him turning 48 (on 12 September). Michael hates any fuss made of his birthday, so I didn’t even bother with a cake and candles or inviting people over for said cake because he’d rather not do anything. Not even go out to dinner.

I think I did actually cook his birthday meal, but usually he’s also happy to do this himself. When it’s my birthday, I want all the fanfare from my husband, friends, and family (but not presents).

I’ve tried to be intentional about acquiring objects over the years, as our house is small and only has so much space. I can’t keep adding 1-2 objects per week or even per month without our house being overrun (which is why I also love an audiobook and recently, I’m an eBook convert). I’m due a declutter soon.

In early October, my girls’ group friend Christalla hosted a gorgeous evening at her very fancy house. We had takeaway, but she’d already set out a million nibbles. She and her husband make the absolute best cocktails, which is why I was obsessed with amaretto sours on my Turkey holiday earlier in the year, in April and at this party she made Kir Royal and her niece made another kind of cocktail, maybe a mojito, that was equally delish.

After visiting my Uncle Steve and (my South African) Aunty Eileen, who were visiting from France, Michael and I went on a cinema trip with our niece, Caroline, to see the new Practical Magic. Can I look like this now? Nevermind when I’m 50 or 60. How do they look younger than me when I’m only just shy of 40? My cousin Pam joined us for a quick jaunt too.

Then, we also went to see Heart of the Beast, but being a former US military wife, Brad Pitt’s age also bothered me. He’s on the same magic that Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock are on, where he’s in his 60s but looks somewhere around 40. But a real retired ex-special forces soldier would be at most 35-38, so as amazing as he was in the role, I feel like there were other actors. But I guess it’s no different than 20-30-somethings playing teens.

No spoilers, but I absolutely sobbed, almost uncontrollably. Michael got emotional but didn’t let himself cry. I’m sure my niece didn’t even get emotional, or she hid it very well.

5-year anniversary

Michael and I have been together 10 years but married for 5. We went to Crete for our anniversary. Michael always books everything and he never steers us wrong. He chose a lovely 5-start hotel. Though, he’s becoming too “princessy” and didn’t like some aspects compared to our other hotel experiences.

We had a lovely, relaxing time, and I read at least three books, including Bad Dates Club by , and I loved it. And I also finished Lily Sterling’s A Not So Shocking Murder, which was fun (she was also one of ’s clients/authors).

I’m absolutely thrilled with my Kindle. Even if I’d rather not add pound coins to Bezos’ pocket.

The airport back was horrendous, and I’d never want graveyard shift flights again.

Bronte Women’s Writing Festival

This is my second year attending a talk, with the first year I was lucky enough to see Jennie Godfrey and Rachel Bower (and pick up signed copies of their brilliant books).

This year, I went with El, which was lovely to attend with someone who loves reading and author talks, too. We enjoyed a fascinating talk by Dr Miranda Kaufmann entitled “The Real Mrs Rochesters – Caribbean Heiresses in the Brontes’ Britain.” It felt like being back in grad school again in the best way. I bought her book Heiresses: Marriage, Inheritance and Caribbean Slavery and hope to read it this year. The stories in there sound fascinating, and she donates the profits for reparations of enslaved peoples.

Then, the second talk we attended was called “Nature, Landscapes and Memoirs” with two authors on the panel: Wendy Pratt and Nic Wilson. They were both delightful interview subjects and talked beautifully about their nature memoirs, and I also cannot wait to read these. Again, I picked up signed copies.

Plus, when you attend the writing festival you get a little Haworth Bookshop stamp in there too, and that feels very special.

So with El this year, I’ve now picked up four signed copies of books I’ve yet to read, so I’m not doing very well, heh!

Bronte Parsonage, Haworth

When I was young, I am sure I visited the Bronte Parsonage Museum a few times with my Grammy and Mum (and Grammy’s hilarious friend, Annie). Then, when I was in my early 20s, my Dad, sister, and Dad’s partner, Liz (who was an actress), and I visited here together in a summer I was visiting from uni (in Georgia).

I hadn’t visited as an adult, and I really didn’t remember all that much of it. El works at the museum. It was something, as someone from Somerset, she always dreamed of doing, romanticising the blustery moors of Yorkshire, and now she and her husband (and gorgeous cat) live in Haworth, and she’s become my new best friend in this short space of time.

It was so delightful for El to explain all the secret history behind the museum, about the last renter of the house and how he built this whopping extension, which now houses a museum, and a secret research library where scholars can apply to read from the collections (if only I could see this room from further away than an open doorway). It was like glimpsing Narnia through the wardrobe.

Then, we had a jaunt into the fields behind. I was regaled with the story of how the family had their own loo (the original having been illegally knocked down) and that sanitation kept them relatively healthier than those in the village, and how we think they all died so young, but in fact they were older than the average age, so they were doing pretty well. This doesn’t bode well for the conditions in Yorkshire at the time.

I’ll say something blasphemous in that I have read almost every Brontë novel written and I’m a much bigger fan of the lesser-celebrated and known Anne, but also I definitely wouldn’t choose the Brontës over Jane Austen. But I know people love them and love Wuthering Heights, but even before a recent reread, my original assessment of ‘may this kind of love never find me’ was so right! Jane Eyre is prob my fave of Charlotte’s. I could definitely leave Emily.

The men in Brontë novels are truly horrible and toxic (except a couple in Anne novels). Only Anne seemed to know nice men.

Bus wankers

So, Michael and I used to have cars that had seen better days. I’d been mostly a cash buyer of cars and without more than £4k at a time, I wasn’t getting the best kind of car. Our cars were at that age where more things were going wrong than right, and without wanting to shell out for a newer car that could go wrong, we decided to try leasing.

Ah hah! That’s how people seem to have posh-looking cars all the time. It was truly a revelation. We didn’t know how we’d find the experience, but having a fancy car was very nice. I have owned fancy cars, but my ex-husband was paying for my Audi and Toyota back then – and technology was not as fancy as now where they have all these cameras and screens.

Anyway, we had a good experience with the lease, but Michael worked out that over the two years it had cost us circa £5,500 per year. He thought, “Oh, it’ll be cheaper to get buses, taxis, and Ubers. Let’s do that.” In theory, I agreed.

We thought we may get dinged on the lease at the end as I’d scratched an alloy, but we didn’t have to pay for any wear and tear, thankfully. I’d like to think that this is because we didn’t even hit 8,000 miles on it when we had up to 5,000 per year to use. I work from home and use the car to run errands on weekdays and on the weekends and to visit people, and Michael brings home the work van. So besides some summer trips, we really don’t drive all that often.

However, it has been 20 days without a car. I am miserable. I’m about to start writing ‘Diary of a Bus Wanker.’ ‘Bus Wanker’ is a term from one of Michael’s TV shows The Inbetweeners.

First weekend without a car, I had to pick up my new glasses in Burnley, a town in Lancashire only 20 minutes away by car. I’ve never used the buses in the UK by myself. I don’t mind trains or trams. But buses scare me because they go to random streets and I never know how to get them to the right place, so I enticed my niece and her friend to come with me on the bus and show me how to do it in exchange for lunch.

The bus there was fine. The bus back was so trashed I felt like I needed an isopropyl alcohol bath. So grim.

The only upside was good ol’ Andy Burnham has made bus tickets very cheap (£3.20 each way for 3 of us).

The obvious downsides, besides being on a bus (look, I know I sound like an overprivileged moany wanker), was the fact that everything took more than double the time. That usual 20-minute ride: 45-50 minutes on the bus. Then, I had to fret about getting ready on time, walk down my steep hill, ensure I was at the bus stop early, time the bus for us to arrive in Burnley before my appointment accounting for eventualities, and then have time to walk from the main bus station to Specsavers. My optitian is in Hebden Bridge but why pay more for designer glasses when you can get a 2-for-1 deal?

Honestly, not having the luxury of a car costs in time and effort. Sure, my nutritionist, David, was happy with the extra steps, but autumn in England is absolute miserable piss-it-down season, and now the clocks have changed, it’ll now start approaching getting dark at 3 pm. We got lucky in that the day we went it didn’t rain, but it could have.

I’ve put a notice in to management (AKA my husband) that we need to get another lease car ASAP. He still thinks we should ‘save a bit’ until January. My condition of not having a lease car was that he’d pay for all of my transportation. But I feel like I’m about to lose it.

I used to visit my Grammy every week. It was a 20-minute drive each way, if that, but now I’d have to take a 6-minute train (not so bad) but walk over a mile to get to the train station (not great, see what I said about the weather).

I’ve had bangers. I’ve been ‘economically unfortunate,’ but as a middle-aged-ish elder millennial I’m not in that position now, so I feel we ought to have a car. And I miss being able to drive to see friends and family. Michael is happily a semi-recluse outside of work, so it all suits him just fine, except he misses me driving him to work on the occasional morning, as he can’t take the van home (understandably) when he has days off.

Going to Java’s jumble sale (delightful) in the Uber was also inconvenient because the Uber didn’t arrive when the Uber said it would arrive, so I got to Hebden Bridge (only a 13-minute drive away) later than I’d anticipated. You can’t book Ubers in advance. Ubers don’t operate in our small town, so they cost more as they have to come from Rochdale or Halifax. It’s just so much more convenient being able to go when you want to go. Yearly cost be damned.

We are in a dilemma because Michael would rather lease than buy, but he’s not in a hurry, and we do make all choices together, but he’s never dragged his feet so long before on something I wanted. Is this a character-building moment?

Turning of the Seasons Supper Club

I’ll let the photographs speak for themselves for supper club. A local chef, Antonia, started this supper club at her childhood farmhouse and Michael and I have attended many and met some amazing people there.

Then, Antonia paired with another local chef, Rose, (who mostly does sweet treats and catering) to create these magical seasonal experiences. The first one was on the summer solstice, and this one was more autumn-themed.

The official theme was “gothic romance.” And Michael took that to mean dress like Dracula, and I just wanted to wear this dress I’ve had for at least fifteen years and haven’t worn before.

The official photos from the photographer haven’t been released yet, but I look forward to them. The experiences are always fun and magical, and have been hosted in Heptonstall (where Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath lived). The summer one was in the ruins of Thomas A Becket Church, and this was in the Heptonstall Museum.

I also followed the local photographer Tash at Artemis Design Studio, and we have an upcoming November photoshoot (El will help me out with styling) for some author photos. I’ll share those when I have them and tell you more about my publishing journey.

The teaser is that my three-book deal has fallen through, but my agent has submitted it to one more place, and I’m also considering some other avenues whilst we get the next book ready for submission. Fingers crossed.

Antonia asked if anyone knew a violinist as theirs had dropped out last minute. I did happen to know a talented player in Mischa, who was like the grandson my late and beloved Grandad Mike never had. He had sons and a daughter (my mother), but all of the grandchildren are girls, but my cousins have since had sons. It’s funny how generations skip. Anyway, I sent his details to Antonia; she booked his playing for the night, and he did a beautiful job.

My Grandfather helped found a charity that helped children from Belarus escape high levels of radiation to extend their lives, and Mischa needed extra care and ended up living with my Grandad and step-Ggrandmother before going off to Chetham’s School of Music (with a grant and additional funding from Sir Paul McCartney) and later studying under other masters in Spain.

He’s an entrepreneur and business owner now and lives in Manchester with his beautiful wife and daughter. He was one of the people who knew my grandfather best, and I absolutely love to share stories of a man we both loved. I didn’t capture the best video, though.

Last bits

I need to get motivated to work out again as I used to love lifting and walking on my treadmill (walking pad plus standing desk). I’ve just felt so meh and sluggish lately, and I think it’s to do with how long everything takes in publishing. How hope hangs on strings, and it’s easy to get carried away with how I think my journey will go versus the reality of it. But I’m still hopeful. I do need to get more physical though again as I’m becoming a bit of a couch potato blob and I should enjoy my physical capabilities whilst I have them.

Up next, besides the October Little Love Stories issue, which is out in the morning, I’ll also share my publishing journey update early next week, including the real feedback from editors and which houses my novel was submitted to.

Forgive my minimal editing of this post, or this will never get out, and building posts takes a very long time, especially with lots of images. I swear it took me at least three hours total, trying to get my pics to AirDrop to my Mac.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a novel, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition. Read about my publishing journey, here. If you’d like to tailor your subscription (where you can choose which sections of Why We Met that land in your inbox), find out how here (with video instructions).

Thank you, truly, to everyone for reading my waffle when it hits your inbox. Please feel free to DM me or reply to this email to tell me about good things happening in your life. I love to hear lovely news.

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And as always, I promise future things will be shorter and I’ll write more often. Love and best wishes always, Lainey.

As I heard tales during my uni years from my English friends of their holidays to exotic places in Spain and Greece, I hoped someday I too could go to a holiday resort abroad. I mean maybe their holidays were more like Magaluf of legend (Shagaluf) or Malia in The Inbetweeners, but it seemed very exciting to me when my ‘holidays’ consisted of visiting my Uncle’s apartment on the beach in Jacksonville, Florida or going tubing down the Rainbow River in Ichetucknee Springs with my Georgia uni friends. All great memories, of course, but I longed for ‘European adventure.’

For new readers, welcome and thank you. These numbered Why We Met chapters describe the experiences that led me to my husband, Michael. You can subscribe and unsubscribe from different sections here to tailor your reading experience.

In 2016, during our first year of dating, Michael used his annual leave to attend music festivals with people he called his “festival friends.” I didn’t want to be the sort of ‘nagging’ girlfriend and waited for him to ‘want’ to go on holiday with me instead.

To be fair, in our first year together, I worked tutoring schoolchildren and as a pot washer in a local restaurant and couldn’t have afforded a holiday anyway. I never asked, but the next year in 2017, he started planning all his annual leave with me to my delight. I was also gainfully employed (but as I wrote about in this painful chapter, things at what started as one of my favourite jobs ever turned sour).

Michael described packing for these festival trips as if he was going to war. He’d pack his tent, sleeping bag, baby wipes, food, and contraband alcohol carefully. He’d take a pack of water and gingerly remove the bottles in the middle without disturbing the shrink wrap. Fill the centre bottles with pure vodka (let’s hope he drank the water first) and then expertly reassemble the package and use a hair dryer to re-shrink the plastic on the outside. He’d tried other techniques like using CamelBak bladders to wrap in his sleeping bag or a smaller version to tuck into his unmentionables to try to evade security.

He assembled his supplies on a trolley because waiting to get into these festivals could take hours. If he didn’t pay for the glam showers, he’d make sure to have a lifetime supply of baby wipes, but many of his fellow festival-goers didn’t bother. This, Michael said, is why he never once hooked up with anyone at a festival. I’m very glad that he has almost a clinical need for both of us to be clean and fresh, but I feel sad he missed out on such fun tent romps. Come to think of it, I’ve also never had a romp in a tent, but I’ve never attended a festival.

Festival going sounds like my idea of a nightmare. Camping. Being dirty. Using the toilet in unfamiliar places. Cooking and washing up outdoors. Food trucks don’t put me off as I love festival-type foods, but the prices do. Part of me would love to go to Glastonbury but only if I could afford a yurt (which I probably can’t).

Now back to our actual holiday. Michael decided we should go to Lanzarote. In childhood holidays, his family had taken him practically to every Canary Island except this one. Despite living in Germany with my first husband and travelling to many of the places we could drive to (Poland, Czech Republic, France, Austria, Switzerland, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Italy, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, etc.), I’d never been to Spain.

This was also back when you could carry 23kg (50lbs) in your suitcase, and they didn’t worry about dimensions, which is useful as Michael has still never learned to pack light. Michael booked a half-board resort stay via Jet2, flying with Monarch Airlines (oh, haven’t heard of them? More on this later). Despite the fact that I was barely clearing £1,200/month back in my first marketing writing job, I was able to afford the £500 or £600 holiday at the time as I managed to save at least a few hundred each month. (Wouldn’t it be nice if hols were this cheap again instead of three or four times this much?)

In Manchester, we were in a part of the terminal (which was under construction) I’d not seen before, and it was packed and crowded, but eventually after a roughly four-hour flight, we made it to our hotel.

Maybe a night into our visit, we were told our airline, Monarch, had gone bust, and I think that meant that the money may or may not have been paid to the hotel, but they still let us all carry on as usual. The UK government, in seven days, when our holiday would end, would have to figure out a way to get us home, but we were there, with a view of a random cactus garden on our balcony, not far from the ocean, and with swimming pools galore. Our room had its own separate living room, too. Michael says that we had travel insurance and with ATOL protection meant that we were covered for eventualities.

My family friends Jenny and Derek had been to Lanzarote multiple times (and all over the world) and Jenny suggested we visit artist César Manrique’s properties: the main house and museum in Haria and the volcano house. There wasn’t an easy way to get to them on public transport (or without an expensive hotel-led excursion), so we decided to rent a car.

For some reason, renting a car wasn’t all that expensive, but Michael didn’t want to drive on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, so I drove the car (we had to get an automatic). Apart from one cliffside part, driving on the island was fairly easy. We had to have had a GPS of some kind, but I don’t remember now.

With the freedom of a car, we also visited Timanfaya National Park and a couple of lava caves, Cueva de los Verdes. We stayed in the Costa Teguise area, but with the rental car (and my Google Maps heatmap), we managed to make it from one side of the island to the other.

Michael and I have always enjoyed each other’s company, and this holiday was no exception. It taught us how we handled travelling together, stressful moments (like the airline going under), and I learned further quirks about Michael.

Up to this point, Michael had been a five-day-per-week gym-goer. He watched what he ate. He guzzled down protein shakes and creatine. He walked ten to fifteen miles per day as a postman, came home (when they could finish before 1 pm), got ready to go to the gym, and spent two hours lifting (and yapping) with his gym bros. Whilst I could easily polish off a pack of biscuits or a few bars of chocolate, Michael had restraint. I’d rarely seen sugar pass his lips. That is, until we were on holiday.

Our first time sitting down to eat from the evening buffet, we’d had our main meals, and Michael returned with a plate of cake. Chock full of cake. At least five massive slices. I burst out laughing as he proceeded to eat practically an entire cake like Bruce Bogtrotter. This man, whom I’d seen eat ‘little and often ’, was suddenly ingesting more cake than I’d seen him eat for over a year of dating.

In many subsequent holidays – in our more profligate times when the economy didn’t feel as tight – we were going on three holidays per year; we’ve since learned each other’s routines. I’ve learned that Michael is an incredibly fussy eater and we have to ‘scope’ out the holiday buffet before picking up a single plate. I advise Michael on dishes he’d like. We go on a reconnaissance mission of the all-important dessert area to see what Michael might fancy.

He’s since cut down his holiday cake-consuming portions considerably. My preference for hotel restaurants now is resorts that have more à la carte restaurants, as I’d much rather have a two- or three-course meal than have everything on offer (we are very spoiled these days with our 5-star hols), but many of these resorts run like this with these giant buffets.

I’ve also learned Michael’s holiday preferences. Whilst we both love to swim (pool, sea, or ocean), Michael – with his Irish heritage and pale skin – would rather not swim during the heat of the day, is pathologically obsessed with his sunscreen (Pizbun), and prefers to do lots of activities as he has the energy of a golden retriever. He needs lots of walks and exercise on holiday whilst I’d rather sip cocktails poolside reading my book. We’ve since learned to balance our joint preferences and compromise. Although our last two holidays this year (Turkey and Crete), he’s done the reading, swimming, and lounging holidays for me (thank you).

One of our most memorable conversations that holiday, however, made me feel like a tantruming toddler. Having dated men post-graduate school who generally were on the more ‘economically affluent’ side, I was used to men paying for all living expenses. I’d recently moved into Michael’s house, where he officially asked me by having me come into his room, tossed a glowing squishy orb at me with a key attached, and grunted if I’d like to move in officially. He then proceeded to empty drawers, wardrobes, rearrange furniture, and generally make me welcome in the space (which was very sweet).

I wasn’t just moving in with Michael. There were two men in the house: he and his dad. They’d never lived apart. For new readers, Micahel’s dad had been unwell for years, and Michael had always looked after him. They were a comedy duo, peas in a pod. I adored George as much as Michael.

Back to the holiday conversation, we were sitting on the pool loungers, and Michael asked if I’d contribute to the household living expenses. Not half, not even one-third, but something like £200 per calendar month. For some reason, I was so upset and poor Michael’s face fell – and I could tell he’d been rehearsing this conversation and it was hard for him to ask – and he got a little what he calls ‘misty-eyed.’ I’m sure I texted my 5,000 people in indignation (my mum, older sister, Grammy, and cousin Pam among them) and they explained to me that it was perfectly reasonable when I’d been living there, he’d been cooking my meals, George had been cleaning up after said meals, that I’d contribute to their living expenses.

I felt hard done to, as I’d only six months before just gotten a job and was able to start saving and rebuilding my life. Oh to have only £200 of living expenses now! I was a complete brat. Poor Michael.

Thankfully, I’ve since learned lots more emotional regulation and coping skills. I didn’t fly off the handle or anything even back then. I’m sure I just sulked, but it was eventually resolved, and I agreed, and all was well in the world. We proceeded to have a lovely holiday.

On the flight home, we ‘pulled a Michael’ by which I mean Michael used to like to pre-game on flights instead of paying for expensive alcohol. So we had a couple of fruit ciders from the airport shop. Britain, since our airline had gone under, chartered a massive Canadian plane, the kind that’s used for international flights with the screens in the back of the seats that has a middle row of four seats, obviously a bit much for a four-hour flight back to England. Michael and I were uncomfortable the entire flight with trapped wind. The ciders had settled very uncomfortably in our intestines, and altitude was not our friend.

We laugh about it now and have never had gaseous alcohol before a flight since.

Coming up next, a present-day snippet of all the bits I’ve been up to lately, an update on my publishing journey, and a new issue of Little Love Stories hits at the end of the month.

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I think you’ll be very excited about the featured writers for our October issue. But please, readers, DM me to write your own little love story. I always need more writers. I’ll send you the brief.

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission. Read that journey, here. If you’d like to tailor your subscription (where you can choose which sections of Why We Met land in your inbox), find out how here (with video instructions).

Do you remember your first holiday with a partner? How’d it go?

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The Hot Jewish Doctor was 36 when I met him, to my 24, and I was still in my ‘let’s discuss ideas’ era (AKA pretentious grad student era) and not ‘let’s wind the fuck down after a long day of work.’ All that’s to say that I didn’t watch much TV in my 20s.

I went to the cinema often, especially our local ‘dollar’ theatre. The matinees actually cost $0.99 cents, and the more expensive weekend films were $1.99. It was whatever had just left the cinema. But if I wanted to splash out on the latest blockbuster, I’m sure I had to pay $7-8 for a ticket.

When I was a teenager, growing up in South Georgia, USA, my Mum/Mama and I watched a whole lot of Dawson’s Creek, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, Friends, and the like. I watched MTV, including TRL and The Real World, so I’m not super weird and devoid of all cultural references.

I didn’t come to TV watching again until I met my husband Michael. He absolutely loves TV and films and has a freakish memory for practically all seventy billion shows he’s made me watch. He’s good at curating our watches between stuff that caters more to his tastes (The Inbetweeners) and stuff that we both like (Small Profits) and shows that are more my jam (Nobody Wants This, which I know he secretly loves because he used to watch The OC).

One thing I cannot get him to watch with me, though, is Heated Rivalry, and because I still don’t really prioritise my own TV watching outside of writing and reading in my spare time, it took me a while to get around to this one.

The book

In my (hopefully future) author brain, I was all like sports romances are so popular, but I don’t know enough about sports to write one. I’ll caveat that maybe Rachel Reid is an avid fan and maybe she knows a lot about hockey, but most of the book is straight-up hot and heavy sex scenes. Very little sport involved besides the fact that the characters, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, sometimes have to play against each other and are ‘heated rivals’ on and off the rink (do you like my bad puns?).

Wikipedia (shoutout to my gorgeous and clever friend, Jayde, who works for them and does something fancy – and once invited me on a retreat where I met lots of impressive people who work for the foundation) says that Rachel Reid is from Nova Scotia and is both an avid hockey fan and played as a teenager, but her novels came from being angry at how homophobic the game was.

I found the book to be a ‘page-turner’ in the way these ‘light’ trope-heavy romances often are. There was an attempt at some depth with the characters’ backstories: Ilya’s sad childhood, his secret bisexuality, growing up in a country that forbids it, and Shane’s fighting against his sexual identity, but no real character growth arc besides the revelation that they liked hooking up with each other more than anyone else.

But I’m not going to yuck people’s yum. There’s clearly an audience for these books, and I can see why.

The TV series

I’m only one episode in, but I’m a fan so far. The scenes are tender. The young men are (predictably) gorgeous. And as far as I know, the filmmakers did quite a lot with a limited budget.

recently wrote about how so many people have gone feral for the fandom, and I said in a comment how I felt a little weird being a middle-aged woman swooning over men over a decade younger than me (I used the words a bit ‘voyeuristic’ and ‘creepy’), and some people said it’s not illegal and there’s too much policing of what people are ‘allowed’ to watch, so why not; Justin praised their excellent performances, which is so true. Plus, I believe this kind of representation matters. (Justin also has some excellent must-read rom-coms with representation too.)

The truth about everything*

The truth about modern celebrity

I think the watershed moment for me was watching esteemed Hollywood actress and Oscar-nominee Emily Blunt take part in a lie detector test for Vanity Fair magazine. It was about five years ago, and Blunt was promoting the sequel to A Quiet Place, written and directed by her husband John Krasinski. She gamely answered ‘awkward’ …

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16 days ago · 41 likes · 24 comments · Justin Myers

I did like how in the book at least, it showed the battle Shane has with his sexuality and the literal danger Ilya faces if he was publicly ‘out’ in Russia. It allows everyone to empathise with what that must feel like, but how, ultimately, beautiful love transcends all.

I think more what I meant in saying it felt a bit voyeuristic watching these young men in sexy scenarios (and that extends to the Off Campus lot, too) was that, as I’ve aged, my tastes have aged too. I’ve always been into older men, so whilst I can objectively see that lots of young people are actively beautiful, I’m still thankfully very much in my era where I find my very close to 50-year-old husband as devastatingly handsome as I found him when he was in his late 30s.

Why We Met

ROM COM REVIEWS: WRITERS & LOVERS, PHOEBE BERMAN’S GONNA LOSE IT, AND OFF CAMPUS

I jumped on the bandwagon of Off Campus despite being late to the party (as usual), and I absolutely loved it. It’s popular amongst millennial and Gen X women, and its wholesome yet spicy nature is healing something in us we didn’t know needed healing – namely the fact that media taught us via…

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4 months ago · 12 likes · 20 comments · Elaine R. Frieman

Is it worth the hype (to me)?

There’s something in all fandoms, whether it’s Harry Potter (I used to devour Muggle Net – not minimising JKR and her cancelledness but obvs HP defined many an elder-millennial childhood), Twilight, Hunger Games, The Chronicles of Narnia, Nancy Drew, The Famous Five, Lord of the Rings, Divergent, Marvel, The Hunger Games, choose your poison. There’s a reason people love what they love, and I love how the modern world embraces people’s unique interests, and there’s no shame in liking Magic or Dungeons and Dragons or some niche video game anymore, thankfully.

So, I’d say yes, it’s probably worth the hype. There’s a reason people like it after all, and it’s not entirely to do with the gorgeous leads because there are hot people everywhere in all sorts of TV shows. There’s something about Heated Rivalry and Off Campus and the tender storylines that people enjoy, and maybe it’s doing something to undo millennial (and earlier generations’) toxic love stories of the past.

What did you think of the book or the show?

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here. If you’d like to tailor your subscription (where you can choose which sections of Why We Met that land in your inbox), find out how here (with video instructions).

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What I’ve just finished reading: I’m in my ‘Substack author’ era. I’ve finished Last Ferry Out by ; If You’re Seeing This, It’s Meant for You by ; and Alan Opts Out by and LOVED all of these. So wonderfully written and well-plotted. I can’t recommend them enough. And the authors’ Substacks.

On my Kindle: Haven’t yet made further progress on Summer Island by Kristen Hannah.

On my Audible: I finished The Invitation by Veronica Henry, which had a lovely nostalgic feel, and I can’t remember how I discovered it now, but I’m sure it was a recommendation on ’s Substack, Pitch Your Novel. There’s something magical about big country houses set in this golden era of British history and the sadness of people losing people in the War.

What I’ll read next: Michael wants me to read All the Light We Cannot See and City of Thieves so we can discuss them…so maybe those. Then, I’ll have to catch up with some rom-coms, so I have something to write about. Heh.

Book count for the year: 86, with two books on the go! Will I make 100 by the end of December? I hope so.

What are you reading and what’s on your TBR?

Without my artist and writer network on Substack, I’d never have met any of these people featured in this issue, and I’m super grateful.

, as I’ve mentioned a bajillion times, is my amazing developmental editor, without whom I’d not have landed an agent or something else I can reveal at some point soon (I hope). Her publication, , truly helps aspiring authors, all for free. She’s such a cheerleader for her writers, and I’m so appreciative of her help over the last couple of years with my two novels and counting.

I discovered , a local artist, writer, author, and stylist (in the town nearest mine: Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire), through her podcast, On the Irregular, when I’d finished reading her friend Rozie Kelly’s debut Kingfisher, which was shortlisted for the 2026 Women’s Prize for Fiction. I read the book long before all that exciting stuff happened, and I attended Rozie’s book launch in April 2025 with my friend, Ruth (of ), who knew I was an aspiring author.

In November 2026, I attended one of Java’s in person workshops in Hebden for a truly magical, creative day. I wrote about it here and here. Remember that feeling in school when you’re so absorbed in painting something or sticking bits of paper and glitter on things with glue? It recaptured that sort of feeling of absorption, creativity, and abandon.

And at that workshop I met both Emma Pierson, an artist from Los Angeles, California, who now lives in Halifax with her artist boyfriend, Jakob Morris, where they met at university in London, and , who contributed to Issue 2 and lives in the nearby Haworth (also known as the place where the Brontë sisters lived).

Java has a way of bringing people together, of helping them recapture long-hidden creativity, and that feeling of magic in the world. That magic’s extended via my new friends too, and I’m glad that I have these three wonderful new ladies in my life.

Through Java helping me work on my Instagram ‘author strategy,’ I connected with , and we met for a cup of tea in Todmorden (where we both live). She’s a beautiful Glaswegian who moved from South Manchester to Todmorden with her husband and son, and she founded a coaching business, Well Enough, where she works with leaders and purpose-led organisations through coaching, facilitation and consultancy “to help great people do good work sustainably.”

Finally, is someone whose Substack, , I stumbled upon in May 2025 on my reading and writing journey on here, and her writing is beautiful, raw, and honest, and I’ve absolutely loved it. She sometimes writes about her difficult (sometimes traumatic) childhood as well as her healing journey, motherhood, friendship, and so much more.

I know you’ll love the stories from these five women this month, so without further ado, here they are.

Kristen Weber, Inside an Editor’s Brain

When my husband told his friends he was going to ask me out, they told him I didn’t talk. This was technically true. I always had my nose in a book, and there were multitudes going on in my mind, but I was very quiet. I had my select people, and I pretty much exclusively talked to them.

But Marc asked me out anyway.

We went to see The Wedding Singer on our first date, and we haven’t stopped talking to each other since. He quickly became one of my safe people. I never had to work hard to find the words with him. I never felt like I had to be louder or different or more like everyone else.

He just saw me.

And I think that is what true love really is: seeing someone clearly. Seeing the awkward parts and the tender parts and the places they aren’t quite sure of yet, and loving them anyway. Maybe even seeing who they are going to become before they can quite see it themselves.

Marc was always telling stories. Now he writes television for a living. I was always disappearing into books. Now I spend my days editing them. Somehow we both built the lives we dreamed about, side by side.

And now we have two very loud kids, I still talk to Marc constantly, and he probably sometimes wishes at least one of us would stop.

Check out Kristen’s publication here, her website here, and her Instagram here.

Here’s a good place to begin on Inside an Editor’s Brain:

Inside an Editor's Brain

Start Here

👋 New here? Start here…

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6 months ago · 67 likes · 12 comments

Emma Jane Pierson, artist

When I think about why Jakob and I met, it occurs to me how many seemingly unrelated, intuitive decisions had to fall into place.

In my third year at the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD), I had planned to study abroad in Rome. When that programme was discontinued, I impulsively chose London instead. Growing up in suburban California, I had always been enchanted by the England of storybooks: the Brontës, Jane Austen, and later the nostalgic cool of the British Invasion. I had already imagined myself there.

At a similar time, Jakob was in West Yorkshire, being encouraged by his high school art teacher to “escape the M62 corridor” and study art in London, where she thought he would find more opportunities. Of course, neither of us knew the other existed.

I arrived in London intending to spend one semester there. Then, almost on impulse, I transferred from RISD to Chelsea College of Arts.

Sometimes I reflect on how different our lives would be if my university had never cancelled that programme, or if I had decided against transferring, or if his teacher had never told him to leave Yorkshire. We’re still together three years later, both living in the UK, with plans to travel and make art around the world.

Here’s an image from our exhibition “In the Garden” at In A Land Gallery last April:

Follow ’s Instagram here and Jakob Morris’s Instagram here.

Susie Cuthill Seymour, Leadership Coach and Founder of Well Enough

“The Gooey Cheese”

Connected by a love of gooey cheese, it has come to punctuate memories and affirm tradition in our family.

Your knobbly 5-year-old body cosied up against the ridges of my outstretched legs, lying in front of our wild open fire, the only heat available in a house I could barely keep warm. We shared a delicious baked camembert with warm crusty bread, and that came to be our regular Saturday night together. My darling son, you had no idea how scared I was at taking this life on by myself.

Our shared love of gooey cheese has followed us, though life looks a lot different now. Remember the one we bought from a deli in France, so ripe it ran off the table while our now-family of three deliberated over a game of Scrabble?

Gooey cheese has come to mark the beginning of Christmas. We now need to bake two rounds of camembert because you have grown so tall and insatiably hungry. We let the fire rip hot in our already warm home. We huddle around to share our feast: you, me, our adorable cats, and the brilliant man who has embraced us entirely along with our love for gooey cheese.

Connect with Susie on LinkedIn here or Instagram here.

Abbey Wade, Abbey’s Road, actor, writer, and chef

“Sunday, Slowly”

The rain came in the night, and stayed like an old friend.

We watched it threaten. You and me and the trees before us, quiet and loud with a knowing only we know.

The air was warm enough to linger, and cool enough to keep us still.

Wine and whiskey went slowly; words took their time: the kind of conversation that has no edges, only space blooming.

We left the rain outside, my ringed finger touching yours.
Skin and sleep beckoned.

I heard it again before I opened my eyes, soft but insistent on the glass, falling water asking permission to stay.

You were still sleeping, last night’s arm reaching for me, unbothered by the light sneaking in.

The house held us the way old houses do, creaking and familiar, full of our easy silence.

Your arm found me, hair unruly and smelling of you.

Without a word, our skin whispered good mornings and remembered good nights.

And that was everything we needed.

One Ring touching another and never ending: an ouroboros of love, sitting in that silent ease we have grown together.

Outside, the world was cancelled.

Softly postponed.

This piece was previously published on Abbey’s publication here, and here’s a great place to start with Abbey’s publication here:

Abbey's Road

For My Quiet Boy

You were wanted for so long before you began to grow inside of me. I begged and hoped for you to come to me. I always knew I was going to be your mother…

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4 months ago · 39 likes · 39 comments · Abbey Wade

Java Ceridwen Bere, From Java with Love, author of Your Space, Your Story: A Creative Guide to Personal Interiors

“There’s more of you. It’s like you’re revealing all these new parts that are somehow more you than ever. There’s just more of you. I’m getting to know more of you,” so said my partner of 19 years as we turned off the lights before bed last night.

When I gave up alcohol over 18 months ago, one of the things I was most worried about was the gap it would leave in our relationship. How would we fill that space, where varying types of drinking had woven their way around us, creating a sense of safety and familiarity in both delight and darkness?

The glug of chilled rosé like a sigh of relief in the sunshine, leaning against the kitchen counter while we sipped red wine and discussed the day as he chopped and I stirred, the punctuation of special occasions with a perfectly mixed cocktail in the carefully selected glassware.

And there is a space, and it’s not always been comfortable, and we are still figuring out how to navigate it. But the absence has also lifted a fog.

A little like cleaning and opening a window between us, we can see and hear more of each other.

Take a look at Java’s publication, , here; her website here; her YouTube channel here; her Instagram here; and pre-order her book, Your Space, Your Story: A Creative Guide to Personal Interiors, from Batsford Books here.

I truly can’t wait for the book launch and for my copy to be delivered.

I loved this interview Java did for Homeworthy. It captures her charm and creative ethos perfectly.

Want to write your own Little Love Story?

Inspired by The Modern Love Column in The New York Times, Little Love Stories are 200-word stories. The NYT’s column’s tagline is “stories of love, loss, and redemption.” I’ll accept any story about love. The prompt is open, and I’d love to be surprised.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here’s a great place to start. I have also written a novel, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission to publishers, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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Take a look at the inaugural issue here:

And Issue 2 here:

This issue, I’m covering an extra rom-com because I just can’t get enough, naturally. My recent reads, as mentioned in my previous issue, are After the Party by Lisa Jewell and Queenie Is Working on It by Candice Carty-Williams. These span the space of semi-rom-com but mostly “women’s fiction,” but categories can be broad. Both are sequels to ‘more popular’ novels, and I enjoyed both. Some reviews were a bit upset that Queenie’s character hadn’t experienced much growth but the thing about fiction is your character has to have an arc, so how ‘healed’ can they be and still have a storyline? Will Queenie make progress by the end of this journey? It covers topics du jour that many of us women in our thirties face: children, motherhood, egg freezing, infertility, and so on. (Naturally, my The Broken Engagement Club covers some of these issues too.)

Ralph’s Party was all about Jem and Ralph getting together, and After the Party is about their marriage on the rocks. Will they come together in the end and rediscover why they loved each other?

On my Kindle, I read four books recently. I finally finished A Not So Shocking Murder by Lily Stirling (another of my developmental editor ’s clients), and I really enjoyed it. I read it poolside on my recent Crete, Greece holiday last week. I’ll definitely look out for more in the series.

I read ’s novella, Villainy. It was a fun romp, and Michael contributed a lovely story to Issue 2 of Little Love Stories about meeting his wife in Saudi Arabia. He’s also serialising this novel on his Substack so subscribe (or better yet, buy the novella at a very reasonable price). I also was recommended another novella called Almost Adopted Almost Loved by Karlene Donahue by my grad school bestie, Brittany, as her sister knows the author. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was surprisingly moving and only a short read, too.

As a reminder, if you like being subscribed to Why We Met (thank you), but want to curate your experience, please take a look at this post on the different sections on offer and how to subscribe and unsubscribe only to what you’d like to read here.

Mary Newnham’s Bad Dates Club

After finishing Stirling’s murder mystery, I was scrolling the old Instagram and the algorithm delivered me to ’s page describing her second novel, Bad Dates Club. Truly, I was sold, and on the Kindle at £2.99, I thought, what better holiday reading?

I tagged her in my stories: one of sharing the post that enticed me to purchase and one of the typical photo of book plus legs plus beach and she sent me a DM thanking me for purchasing and wishing me an enjoyable hol. (How lovely!)

Anyway, the book features Maddie Gooseman who’s a charming mess. She’s been dumped by her boyfriend as he goes to ‘find himself’ in a van, but she’s also a successful advertising producer and at 34, she’s not where she thought she’d be in life (i.e. like her perfect younger sister with the husband in finance, children, and perfect life). At a mutual school friend’s wedding, she meets Violet Bright who is either Type A or on the spectrum or both who is a hot redhead vegetarian vet who loves to run and is also a Christian with a lovely flat in Notting Hill and in a sort of situationship with a guy at church. She’s constantly waiting around for him. Girl, we’ve all been there.

Maddie, newly single, has to contend with bad dates or a semi-love triangle with the fuckboy from work or the soldier Hinge date from her past who seemed perfect but would take far too long to reply to her texts. Sigh. Girl, we’ve all been there. (I mean I’ve never been on Hinge but the waiting for messages and calls thing.)

I found this funny, relatable, and a charming read. It has love, yes, but the budding friendship is the best. I may or may not have shed a tear or two over some scenes with animals in the vet surgery.

I’ll definitely be reading Mary’s debut and whatever she publishes next. Plus, I’ve very unhingedly read and listened to all her Substack posts, which I think she records material from her long-time blog, The Quack. Her audio production is top-notch too, which makes sense as she used to be a producer.

Alissa DeRogatis’s How to Find Love in the Cereal Aisle

I enjoyed ’s debut, Call it What You Want. Probably every millennial and elder millennial woman has been in a ‘situationship’ of sorts that felt more serious than it was or with an emotionally unavailable, noncommittal man, so it spoke to me.

I pre-ordered How to Find Love in the Cereal Aisle and, like all good ‘girl finding herself’ rom-coms, it starts with a breakup. Romance author Ainsley Green now has a broken heart and no longer believes in love, despite hoping for the romantic meet-cute of her parents (meeting in said cereal aisle), plus a deadline from an editor. What’s a girl to do? Her best friend and cheerleader, Lucas, tells her to cure writer’s block, she can stage real-life meet-cutes, so she writes a list, and documents the results on her Instagram stories to her fan base’s delight. However, things don’t exactly go as planned. But what if Ainsley isn’t seeing what’s right in front of her?

Easy read. Super cute. Relatable for many young 30s and late 20s women.

Ali Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis

I saw so many ads on Insta about this film upcoming and then I realised I jumped on the bandwagon and purchased the audiobook goodness knows how long ago but hadn’t actually listened to it (it was published in 2021) so I decided, why not read it in time for the film? It has been two days. I have still not watched the film but I’m loving Lili Reinhart’s classic rom com outfits on social media. I love when celebs do these sorts of fun promo campaigns. If only I had access to this sort of wardrobe for my debut. Hah!

Like any novel, Goodreads reviewers give mixed reviews for this story. I quite liked the spicy scenes, but others on there said they knocked them sick because they were quite graphic-ish.

The book was a slow burn romance of sorts in the ‘fake dating’ arena featuring two scientists at Stanford: one professor and respected researcher, Dr Adam Carlsen, known in the department to be a bit of a ‘difficult character’ and Olive Smith, a third-year biology PhD candidate researching pancreatic cancer. I liked how the STEM theme is atypical in the rom com space and I can see why readers enjoyed it and why it’s so popular. But the love also has a sort of Edward-Bella-Jacob feel to it (apparently it started as Star Wars fan fic of ‘shipping’ Rey and Kylo Ren) where there’s a semi-dickish man who is horrible to everyone but one woman whom he’s obsessed with and decides he likes. Besides her beauty, quirkiness, and intelligence, why did she turn his head over other women? Hah! Maybe that’s it.

I liked it. It was cute. I’m looking forward to seeing what they do with the film. Has anyone else watched this or read this yet?

One Night Only on Netflix

My former designer colleague, Maureen, always thought my husband Michael looked a bit like Callum Turner and I’ll take it. I can see it in that they share the same body type and height. Callum is now married to Dua Lipa if you keep up with that sort of thing but I loved him in the adaptation of Jojo Moyes’ novel The Last Letter from Your Lover. Such a good book!

The film’s plot is fairly simple. Premarital sex is outlawed and for twelve hours per year (i.e. one night only), singles can get busy. I suppose you’d have a lot of rushed marriages and divorces in this society.

Besides the premise of this film in reality being impossible to patrol without the biomarkers and super advanced technology mentioned in the film, I loved how we finally got another cute rom com to enjoy.

But as someone who is super into washing my hands and cleanliness, the scene that involved a city grate and the fact that no one seemed to scrub up before getting (almost) busy had me cringing a little. I also felt this in Die Hard when Bruce’s shirt gets progressively more disgusting. I think about this too often with humans in general, especially in public spaces like airports. Touch the locks and taps with tissues, please!

Back to the film: Owen is super wholesome and owns a pizza shop. He’s about to propose to his girlfriend and finally hook up with her when she tells him at the restaurant that she wants to bed their hot neighbour instead. In their flat. So he has to leave her to it.

Allie is a cover singer who makes commercial (TV ad) jingles, and she goes out with her wingwoman in search of ‘meaningful connection,’ but her friend ditches her for some guy she meets.

The night ensues with a sort of enemies-to-lovers vibe. They keep running into each other and other partners with lots of near misses. Will they hook up by the end of the night? The ending is surprising.

Michael, my husband, said he liked the wholesome ending. I would’ve been happy if things had heated up. That probably sums up our differences pretty well, as Michael did, after all, super plan out our ‘first time’ (after rejecting me on the night of our first date LOLs) with a romantic walk, bubble baths, prosecco, strawberries, and a home-cooked meal and everything.

Let’s just say, if I’d have had to exist in that society in my 20s, I’d have been absolutely feral. And probably in jail.

Random bits

Diane Roth’s new humour piece “A 32-Ounce Water Bottle Confronts Her Abuser” has just been published. I love how she thinks of this stuff.

I look forward to watching both ‘old’ versions of Sense and Sensibility very soon, but I feel this is a perfect opportunity to reread the book before I drag my niece and husband to the cinema to see the new film. Emma Thompson should definitely write more screenplays. She’s a gem.

What I’ve just finished reading: I’ve already described my eight plus recent reads.

On my Kindle: Summer Island by Kristen Hannah. I’ve only ever read Firefly Lane by her, but I know she’s very popular. She also happens to live on the same island, Bainbridge Island, Washington, as of , which looks like an incredible place to live.

On my Audible: We Chase Shadows by Richard Osman. Michael and I are reading this book at the same time. I’m so proud that this was his very first pre-order of a book. I have to make sure I don’t listen faster than he’s reading. This is the first time we have read the same thing at the same time, so it’s quite exciting.

What I’ll read next: I’ve got a lot on my list, but I’ll let my brain surprise me with what I choose next.

Book count for the year: 73 and counting. Still hoping to hit 100 by the end of the year. Maybe I need to dig out some more novellas!

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here’s a great place to begin. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission to publishers, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

Let me know in the comments if you’ve read any of these and what you’ve enjoyed lately.

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Catch up on the previous rom-com review issue here:

Catch up on August’s Issue 2 of Little Love Stories before Issue 3 hits next week. Find out how to write for this column if you’re interested:

Did you know you can subscribe and unsubscribe from specific sections of my publication? For example, if you love rom-com reviews yet don’t want to read anything else I write, here’s how to segment your reading experience on Why We Met.

The answer is often a hooky concept.

Do I have that with my novel, The Broken Engagement Club? The title is hooky, and my agent’s pitch is, but I don’t think so, to be fair. But I’ll report back very soon how my novel is doing on submission to the Big 5 plus some Indies.

The truth about publishing is that it’s competitive. But if you’re a writer, you know that. That’s not why you do it.

We absolutely all dream of having the kind of success that debut authors like Jennie Godfrey’s The List of Suspicious Things, Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, or Hattie Williams’ Bitter Sweet have.

The flashy author parties. The thousands to millions of copies sold. Film deals rolling in. The fact is, it’s already rare to get published, but to become a bestseller with your debut is virtually miraculous. Well done them. Much deserved.

You have truly to write something spectacular that deeply resonates with readers, so much so that they spread word-of-mouth like wildfire. That’s what these authors had and books like The Notebook, Where the Crawdads Sing, The Hunger Games, and Harry Potter.

Have you written the next unputdownable sensation? I know I haven’t just yet. LOLs. But still, I hope readers will someday soon get to enjoy what I’ve written.

How hard is it to land an agent and book deal?

I recently read this brilliant piece by and it made me do a bit of my own digging.

Write Your Next Chapter

What Debut Deals Tell Us About What Agents and Publishers Are Seeking in Rom-Com Right Now

I mostly focus on women’s fiction, upmarket or book club fiction in this Stack because that is what I work on most of the time. But I do sometimes work with rom-com writers too, so I keep my eye on that market, and I’ve noticed some interesting things recently that I want to share…

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2 months ago · 32 likes · 7 comments · Heather Garbo, Book Coach

Jericho Writers’ website notes that the likelihood of landing a literary agent has a 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 6,000 chance with top literary agents receiving 1,500 or more queries per month and taking on roughly 4-6 clients per year, making anyone’s given chance roughly 1-5%.

According to QueryTracker, the website where many authors submit queries to agents, there are 1,900 listed agents. Some of those won’t be accepting submissions, but let’s assume roughly 1,000 agents are accepting submissions, and they take on 2-4 clients per year. That’s 2,000-4,000 authors who have landed an agent, which is a huge achievement and should always be celebrated, but how many of those will go on to land a book deal?

Of those agented authors, roughly 70% land a book deal and the remaining 30% have books that the industry calls ‘die on submission.’ I’ve even heard the statistic that as high as 95% of manuscripts die on submission. I don’t think anyone keeps specific metrics.

Although some stats show that traditional publishers publish over 500,000 titles per year, if Publishers Marketplace is anything to go by, then merely hundreds of those numbers are from debut authors, and most of those debut authors will sell under 5,000 copies in the book’s lifetime.

Look, I’m making publishing sound bleak. But what I’m actually saying is I have been incredibly lucky in a competitive landscape to land an agent (after hundreds of rejections) and to have a book out on sub that’s been getting a positive response. (More on this soon.)

writes absolutely beautifully about her experience writing several books, taking 18 years in her journey despite perseverance, having 5 agents (eek!), and eventually getting a Big 5 deal (with her book going to auction with HarperCollins and a pre-empt with Bonnier), so it’s absolutely possible, and I love this for her so much.

She’s such a gem of a human, and she totally deserves all her success, and you bet I’ll be preordering her next novel. Plus, she’s recently started recording her articles, and I could listen to her beautiful Irish voice all day long.

Rising Tide Writers

I paid for SIX manuscript assessments. Here's what you need to know.

✨Welcome to my newsletter! I’m Caroline Madden, author of The Marriage Vendetta (HarperCollins/Bonnier 2025) and The Village (April 2027). If you’d like to find out how I sold my debut at auction after more than a decade of rejection, then hit subscribe!✨…

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9 months ago · 299 likes · 96 comments · Caroline Madden

Many authors say that it’s the people who don’t give up who eventually succeed, even if that takes years or decades and many manuscripts.

And to be fair, I’m sure Madden’s early manuscripts were just as good as the one that sold. In fact, as someone who took an incredible university class in Seventeenth Century Restoration literature (with Dr Marta Kvande), I’m sure I’d have enjoyed the original manuscript featuring more historical characters of what would be rewritten to be The Marriage Vendetta.

If you aren’t landing an agent or a book deal, this does not mean you do not have merit, that your writing is not good, or that you won’t make it. Sometimes the universe is very slow at giving us what we want, as excruciating as that is.

My journey as a writer

I came into writing simply as a lifelong reader, someone who did my Master’s degree in Literature, who secretly harboured dreams of one day writing a book. (Now I’ve written three.)

I had zero connections. No big following. And I started this Substack from scratch three years ago.

I had zero clue really about publishing beyond the vague notion that you needed an agent, and there’s so much I’ve yet to learn about the industry.

I knew that it was competitive, and to have an edge I’d need to learn as much as I could, invest in myself, take writing courses, and hire people to help me, which is what I did. See where I break down every bit of the thousands I invested into my writing so far – but that in and of itself is a privilege.

I’d really love to learn of an author who did it all without investment and just hard work because I fully appreciate that some people are simply paying the bills and absolutely don’t have day jobs that can afford them anything extra.

And this is why I hope someday, if I am an author and sell well, I can help a future debut author (or multiple) afford some of these things that have – I think – given me the edge.

I’m certain we miss out on so many beautiful stories that could be told simply because the future author doesn’t have money, space, and time to create and invest in their future. It would give me so much joy to sponsor someone to pay for developmental edits, copy edits, writing retreats, childcare, and whatever else is needed for more people to become the writers they want to become.

How many debuts have sold this year so far?

As of September, Publishers Marketplace (roughly $30/£22 per month), which is where many of the US and some UK deals are posted, has reported 365 debut fiction deals (with 21 debut nonfiction and 64 debut children’s), with the total number of reported fictional deals this year as 1,584 (and this will include existing authors getting new contracts) and of those, Publishers Marketplace lists 71 as bestsellers (roughly 4%).

I don’t have access to the UK equivalent, The Bookseller. And my number searches are certainly inexact science.

Penguin, for example, claims they publish 15,000 titles worldwide (assuming this is all types of books in all markets), but of course not every deal is reported in this resource only certain ones. And my understanding is that agents have to pay for the listing.

Of the roughly 350+ debut deals this year, 22 of those were for romance (or a 6% chance based on the number reported this year). This isn’t counting digital-only deals (of which there were a further 5 deals).

Yes, I know probability doesn’t exactly work this way, as it’s based on editors’ subjective tastes plus whether the publishing house has space for this title on their list this year.

Often it’s about timing and luck.

Of these 22 deals:

• 3 of those romances were sold to small presses (14% of deals)

• 7 to midsize presses (33% of deals)

• 12 to the Big 5 (53% of deals)

But if I had Big 5 dreams, only 12 is hardly good odds for the entire 2026 year.

These are some of the stories in the romance space that have sold this year. Some of these I will absolutely look forward to reading, and well done to these authors. It’s a huge (and seemingly rare) achievement.

You’ll have to see the screenshots and to read them.

I’ve also learned how to break down the deals and what everything means.

What do these Publishers Marketplace deals mean?

You’ll see certain ‘code’ words in the above deals, and this is what it means.

• Nice deal: $1 to $49,000

• Very nice deal: $50,000 to $99,000

• Good deal: $100,000 to $250,000

• Significant deal: $251,000 to $499,000

• Major deal: $500,000 and up

• Pre-empt: A high-money offer from an editor to take the book off the table, no competing bids, offer ‘too good to refuse’

• At auction: Multiple publishing houses competed for the deal (the final price isn’t often disclosed)

Keep in mind that advances are paid out in 3-4 instalments (generally at signing of contract, at delivery of the manuscript, at the publication of the hardcover, and a year later and/or publication of the paperback).

That advance can be divided over 2-3 books, so the payouts may be stretched over 8 or more payments instead (i.e. the 4-part schedule applies to Book 1 and then the same 4-part schedule applies for Book 2). It can take 1-2 years to get the printed book in the hands of readers.

Plus, your agent, rightfully, takes 15-20% (15% for domestic deals, 20% for foreign), and taxes take another chunk.

In my case, I’m in the 40% tax bracket over a certain amount in the UK, so whatever future deal I get, I’m only taking home 45% of whatever I earn, as an example. I think taxes in the US seem more conservative at around 20%, but I’d much rather have the NHS, shorter working hours, and plenty of annual leave.

Even big, flashy 6-figure deals do not automatically make authors rich, unfortunately.

What about other non-romance deals?

You may think you’d have better odds writing in other categories and that’s possible. Again, from my inexact search science, 4 deals this year have been classed as ‘commercial’; 2 as ‘literary’; 22 as ‘horror’; 34 as ‘mystery’; 20 as ‘thriller’; and 15 as sci-fi/fantasy.

I swear I saw so many romantasy and sports romance deals in the romance space this year and last!

For all of 2025, there were only 19 debut romance deals. Yikes! Probably good that I didn’t land my agent until January 2026, and we didn’t go on sub until May, which felt frustrating at the time.

Of course, in Publishers Marketplace, you won’t see your David Nichollses and your Jojo Moyeses in PM. Really big deals with very famous authors aren’t often reported.

Plus, I’ve heard some agents don’t report their smaller deals, so it only looks like they land 6-figure deals for everything. And, as I said, agents have to pay for these listings.

There are deals often being made with previously self-published authors who have done well in their own marketing, as well as splashy celebrities and influencers with large platforms.

I’m working with the data I have available, which, again, is only a small slice of what is searchable on this platform.

Should I keep writing?

I generally like to be a positive person, so I really do not want to make anyone feel like there’s no hope and there’s no reason to keep going.

I’m demonstrating that it’s a hyper-competitive environment, so if you make it in any way, big or small, it’s a reason to celebrate.

And you may need to go to the drawing board and keep thinking of that next great hooky concept or make yourself stand out via your platform or whatever you have going on.

Plus, you always have to come back to your why. For me, even if this whole writing thing never pays off, I love spending my mornings on some workdays (because I don’t do it every day and I do take breaks, sometimes for weeks) writing about my made-up people.

I’d love the idea that someday readers can read about my imaginary characters. But you have to love doing it.

Not because you think you’ll land some amazing multi-million pound/dollar deal or because you’ll sell hundreds of thousands of copies – all of which may happen, of course – I’m nothing if not optimistically delusional and hopeful – but because you absolutely love writing and you feel compelled to do it because otherwise, it’s a bit of a mad hobby.

Also, why not you?

I like to think that.

Sure, it’s difficult to become, say, a doctor or an astronaut or an actor, but some people are those things.

So why not you? There’s always a chance you’ll be a writer and author and do incredibly well.

I honestly wish all the current readers who dream of being writers get going, finish that manuscript, land that agent, and you bet that when you publish your book, I’ll be such a cheerleader for it (if you tell me about it, that is).

Upcoming, I hope to tell you about my submission journey, the kind of replies I received from editors on The Broken Engagement Club, and my potentially very exciting news.

Subscribe now

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

If you want to customise your Why We Met reading experience, do you know that you can subscribe only to the sections you want to read and unsubscribe from those you don’t? Take a look here. For example, if you only want publishing journey news (like this piece), you can customise your experience so that’s all you get delivered to your inbox.

Let me know where you’re up to in your writing, editing, querying, and publishing journey. I’d love to know.

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Thanks for reading, as always. Love and best wishes, Lainey.

I haven’t read all of Skye’s backlist yet (she is the author of Damsel, too, which was a Netflix film with Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things), but I subscribe to her really helpful writer Substack () and I’ve learned so much about the publishing industry via her newsletter. Really, check it out if you’re interested in becoming an author.

And since being part of her newsletter, I’ve pre-ordered all her latest books, including The Incredible Kindness of Paper, which came out last year and Ideal Life, which just came out. What Skye does best is a hooky concept. I’m totally in love with speculative rom-coms these days.

Skye’s published by Atria (owned by Simon & Schuster), who rejected my book (boo hoo), but they do publish Skye and the likes of Taylor Jenkins Reid, Colleen Hoover, Frederik Backman, Jennifer Weiner, Jodi Picoult, and others, so it would have been more miraculous if they’d said yes. LOLs. I’ll tell everyone about my publishing journey very soon.

Anyway, Skye, a former lawyer and Stanford and Harvard Law School grad, from what I can tell, is an absolutely sunshiny, delightful person (despite having some dark things happen in her own life where her husband almost died) and she’s such a huge supporter of writers and authors on their journey.

Mhairi McFarlane is an author that other rom-com authors (like of ) and many delightful Substack readers have recommended. I’ve only dug into this one book of hers but hope to read more.

Finally, I’d absolutely never heard of Australian author Miles Franklin before but now there’s a popular TV series of her classic book, My Brilliant Career.

I’m ashamed to admit I don’t know anything at all about Edwardian-era classic literature in Australia – and the only other Australian show I’ve watched (besides Neighbours back in the 90s) is my absolute favourite murder mystery series Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, starring the fabulous Essie Davis as the Honourable Miss Phryne Fisher. I also haven’t read these books that were published from the late 1980s to 2000s.

Anyone read either of these or seen these television shows? Do any readers know anything about classic Australian literature? My mind is a little blown, to be honest. But to be fair, every country will have its classic literature, and my only exposure via my BA and MA in Literature is maybe to England, Ireland, Scotland, the US, and France – maybe with a dash of Spain and Germany thrown in there. So, please, if you’re from anywhere else, please weigh in with the classics from your country. I’m simply curious.

And do you like them? For me, I absolutely adore Jane Austen, but there are other people – and I think I heard a parody review that goes something like – the novels are stories about people “visiting people.” LOLs. Savage! Despite how many times I’ve read Wuthering Heights, I still don’t love it and find nothing remotely romantic in the toxic, unhinged relationships, and with the exception of Anne, I’m convinced the poor Brontë women never did meet a nice man in their lives.

Evelyn Skye’s Ideal Life

This concept was brilliant and the story was so cute. It’s one of those concepts that you go, “Oh, how intriguing! I can’t wait to see how this has been done.”

Protagonist Talia Morgan owns a neuroscience startup that reads user data and biometrics to optimise your life. She’s on the eve of a $100 million acquisition when a glitch in her app leads to a catastrophic event (i.e. a user murders someone) and the fallout will be huge.

She has a busy life without much room for people in it but she does have her influencer sister, always on her travels; an intern who admires her; and a lovable best friend of two decades, Sam, quietly in love with her who does life his own way: he owns a quirky bookshop near the beach and doesn’t earn much money yet their friendship has endured.

The morning after the disaster and implosion of her company, Talia wakes up and she’s in possession of a watch that will rewind her life 24-hours. She now has the power to undo her mistakes but what consequences will happen if she gets too addicted to creating the perfect conditions?

The blurb says the book is “an incisive exploration of ambition, perfectionism, and the modern pressure to optimise our way to happiness.”

Of course, with all the “evil tech billionaires,” AI datacentres, and life increasingly looking like an episode of Black Mirror, this book hits at the right time.

Mhairi McFarlane’s Cover Story

Since I technically work in journalism, I found this story so much fun.

A tiny close-knit Manchester office of a big newspaper regularly has new interns cycle through, but this time Bel and her colleague have thirty-something Connor to contend with. He’s given up his former high-flying career to follow his dreams.

When Bel is working undercover on a big political scoop, she runs into Connor and has to think fast and pretend they’re a couple so as not to blow her cover, so fake dating ensues. What could go wrong, and is this scoop dangerous? And what about her ex, who can’t seem to get over her and Connor’s girlfriend, who isn’t thrilled at his new diminished prospects?

Fun cast, fun story. I’ll definitely read McFarlane again. Some people say this book isn’t as good as her others, but I’ll see what I think when I read the next one.

My Brilliant Career on Netflix

I’m not sure if My Brilliant Career is the Pride and Prejudice or Little Women of Australia or if it’s entirely its own thing. I have not seen the 1979 Sam Neil film version and I can’t help but think the title is pretty terrible. It doesn’t encompass the story at all.

As far as Netflix goes, Michael and I absolutely loved this show and I was half in love with the charming, imaginative, and rebellious Sybylla Melvyn myself.

In 1890s Australia, born to a wealthy mother who’s been disinherited for marrying beneath her class and with a drunken father who’s plunged them all into poverty, Sybylla is sent to live with her wealthy grandmother and aunt in order to find a rich husband to save the family from total ruin. The only trouble is Sybylla isn’t one to play by the rules.

In the Netflix show, there’s a love triangle. The sets, costumes, circumstances, characters, everything, it’s just so charming. And if you’ve ever seen Slow Horses you’ll see Christopher Chung in a different kind of role. Who knew Roddy Ho had thirst-trap muscles?

There’s a unique fun cast from the upper-classes to those who work the farms, including some indigenous Australian characters, too. Had to Google if the old term was PC and it is not!

The last couple of episodes of the show were far from the glittering world of the early episodes, almost that it felt like a different show altogether, but it’s definitely worth a watch. The ending isn’t one I’d have expected and it defies the traditional romance genre. I can’t quite decide if it’s in a good way yet. But my overall impression is that this is a great show and I loved it. Anyone else seen it?

Even though the book material has ended I presume, it seems open ended for a second season as well, so we’ll see what happens.

Honourable mentions

Since these are recent reads but not technically in the rom-com category, I’ll give a shoutout to Montecito by again. Loved it. Loved Hollis’s green flag energy in this intense domestic thriller set in a glittering world. Also, didn’t The Duke and Duchess of Sussex live in Montecito, California? So very swish place! Hah!

And I absolutely adored and was broken by Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall. I’m late to the party. A-gain. The title to me is kinda meh. Like it (and the cover) doesn’t encompass this book and how incredible it is.

As usual, some reviewers hated it, but I sobbed and sobbed in a good way. It’s such a beautiful and heartwrenching story, the kind I’m sure we all wish we could write. I have to talk to someone about this book. Has anyone read it?

What I’ve just finished reading: The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop; Murder at the Vicarage by Agatha Christie; The Spare Room (if some handsome Welshman moved into your spare room when your dick bf ends your relationship) and Love Off Script by Laura Starkey (so cute – two people who meet on the set of a P&P like period drama); and Jessica Beam Is a Hot Mess by Kirsty Greenwood (ah man, this was me in my messy early 20s).

On my Kindle: A Not So Shocking Murder by Lily Stirling; I haven’t started this yet but it’s primed and ready. She was another of ’s clients and I trust Kristen’s taste in books (if I do say so myself).

What’s on my Audible now: After the Party by Lisa Jewell. I loved her first novel called Ralph’s Party but I see why she pivoted to thriller as there’s just more market for this type of novel. This book is a bit sad but I’m almost to the end and hopeful. Love the truthfulness and complexity of human relationships, especially after marriage and children.

What I’ll read next: The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood (bought this ages ago and forgot about it but there’s a new show or film coming out). And I have so many other purchases to choose from including Enough by Dawn French; How to Find Love in the Cereal Aisle by ; The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett and others. I have 29 recently purchased audiobooks and a few eBooks that I look forward to digging into and new stuff comes up all the time. I’m sure all readers can relate to this dilemma.

Book count for the year: 65 and counting. I’m a bit slower this year than previous years, but there’s still time in the year yet to hit 100!

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

Catch up on the previous rom com review issue here:

August’s Issue 2 of Little Love Stories came out this week. Find out how to write for this column if you’re interested:

And I published this piece in my ‘millennial dating’ series but didn’t send it by email:

Did you know you can subscribe and unsubscribe from specific sections of my publication? For example, if you love rom-com reviews yet don’t want to read anything else I write, here’s how to segment your reading experience on Why We Met.

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But I wanted to let everyone know A) what I have on offer in my publication and B) how to filter down only to what you’d like to read.

Like all Substackers, each time I publish I get anywhere from 5-10 unsubscribes, but I figure that may be because you may want to read, say, my Rom Com Reviews or Little Love Stories, but you aren’t interested in my Publishing Journey or the real-life rom com in reverse that is Why We Met, aka all the people and experiences that led to my amazing Yorkshire husband, Micahel.

Here’s a handy video on how to subscribe and unsubscribe to what you’d like to see.

• Why We Met, how I met my husband and my dating history (with a bit of friendship history). You can check out the section to see only those chapters.

• Present-Day Snippets, like this one, stuff I’m up to now in the present timeline as Why We Met focuses on a past timeline.

• Publishing Journey, an honest publishing experience. Can you keep a secret? I may or may not have some good news and plenty to add to this section soon.

• Rom Com Reviews, a look at what I’m reading and watching, mostly in the rom-com space, but I do read quite widely.

• Millennial Dating, general articles and musings of the dating scene I experienced in the 2000s and 2010s, my very much disastrous dating life. Plus, general topics such as cultural moments, body image issues, and media that plagued my generation (and arguably Gen X, too).

• Little Love Stories, an end-of-month column and one of my favourite sections where writers, readers, and authors share their 200-word tiny love stories, modelled on The Modern Love column of The New York Times’ Tiny Love Stories section. Anyone can write for it, so please get in touch. You can reply to this email if you’d like to and I’ll email the prompt and instructions.

You can segment your reader experience and subscribe to one or all of these sections (or any combination thereof). When your toggle is off (i.e. grey), you’re unsubscribed from that section and pink means you’re subscribed. FYI.

Thanks for reading and for all your support.

Love and best wishes, Lainey

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This month, five very generous writers have contributed.

, my developmental editor, shared an all-call for people to write for this publication and DMed me with a brilliant story. I’m sure you’ll love it and I’m grateful he shared.

In fact, three writers in this issue are because of a Kristen connection.

(or Michalina), another of Kristen’s clients, and I had a chat after one of my guest posts on Inside and Editor’s Brain about querying – and she’s moved recently to the UK from Berlin (away from her native Poland).

And a third of Kristen’s client’s, , whose novel I just devoured, I discovered via a guest post he wrote for Kristen recently. Monteceito is a brilliant domestic and financial thriller. Check out my Goodreads review of it and grab your copy.

Next, we have Parsons, who has been a lovely subscriber and writer friend since December 2024 (and I’m ever so grateful). I’m lucky I have made such friends through Substack. I truly love that I’ve built a little writer community on this corner of the internet.

And finally, , is a gorgeous new friend (who feels like someone I’ve known for years) I met through a tablescape workshop in Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire.

I’m so lucky to make these human connections via local events, through Kristen, and via Substack. Having a writer community or even just readers who connect to our words and think “I can relate to that” or “I’m not so alone in the world” is such a beautiful gift.

I have some space for the September and October monthly issues, so if you’d like to contribute, please DM on here or Instagram and I’ll let you know my email address. It’s 200 words on love. How you approach the topic is up to you. I’ve been in awe of how each writer tackles the subject, and I truly think some magical stories have emerged.

Michael Dunne, Michael Dunne Writes

My wife and I met in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and married in Bahrain…almost 37 years ago. We were both from Florida; neither with any matrimonial intentions!

I remember standing on the roof one evening (that’s a thing in the Middle East) after first arriving in Riyadh and looking out over the city. I recall a clear sense of peace—of being right where I was supposed to be.

Almost a year later, I met Nance.

As we got to know one another, we discovered we’d both attended the same Jimmy Buffett concert in Gulfport, Mississippi ten years earlier. I was stationed in Tampa, Florida, but attended several United States Air Force schools in Biloxi, Mississippi. I can’t tell you how many times I drove past her exit on I-10 during those years.

Talk about changes in latitudes!

The night we met, we were attending (separately) an “illicit” party at the home of a Lebanese American businessman. That night (and anytime during the next year as we dated), we could’ve been arrested if found together. In Saudi Arabia, members of the opposite sex who were not related by marriage or blood were forbidden to mingle in public. Even after our wedding, we had to carry a copy of our marriage certificate everywhere in case the religious police confronted us.

You could say Nance and I were destined to fall in love. And we put our very freedom on the line to pursue what God clearly had in mind for us to do.

Here’s ’s novella, Villainy, which you can find on Amazon. A gothic adventure with a fantasy twist set in Gloucestershire in the late eighteenth century, the novella follows “the exploits of a young illegitimate highwayman fighting to secure what he believes is his birthright.”

He has also serialised the novel on his Substack, which you can find here.

Maggie Parsons, Stories and Thoughts

When I met my now-husband at a party, I wrote him off because he was too handsome.

It’s what’s on the inside that counts, as they say. I acted as if that meant physical attractiveness was some kind of red flag.

I mostly dated nerds. I was shy and awkward as a pre-teen, and when I did make friends, they were often also on the socially awkward side. So when I met this visually appealing man in my early 20s, I immediately thought, “Hmm, nice try. Nope.”

We were group friends for two years. Each time, I’d notice his cuteness, wonder if our bodies were pointing towards each other, or if that was all in my head.

Until one night, I found myself asking, “Hey, would you want to hang out some time?”

Turns out, he had a crush on me when we met. He was handsome, but he was also sweet and dependable. He had been here all along, but I refused to acknowledge that a sexy and kind guy existed, and also totally liked me back.

We’ve been together now for seven years! I still think it’s cool to be married to such a hottie.

Check out ’s publication here.

Misch Schneider, The Studious Muse

There was a note from my first boyfriend in a memorabilia box in my childhood home which hit me harder than I anticipated. It was truly fucking remarkable how it extended a hold on me, a straight shot through the dividing years, against all odds, reason, and reality. Fuck.

It was this retro postcard of a lit-up main street in Warsaw, probably from the 70s.

His words were whimsical, took me right into an inside joke. His admission of love struck me as genuine. It made me want to reciprocate, even though obviously there’s nothing to reciprocate. The offer no longer stands, the ship has sailed, and the train has left the station.

After he left, I was yearning to return to that blessed state. Instead, I was thrust into loneliness more acute than anything I’d ever known. The grief was real. I shouldn’t have felt like I was stupid or guilty for being so desperate to recreate it. There was no way I could have just moved on as if that never happened. As if I never knew what it was to be loved.

Considering all this, I think I did alright.

Read the longer version of the piece below:

The Studious Muse

A straight shot through the dividing years

So before I left my hometown, I opened a box of various memorabilia – I guess is the best way to call it – from my first boyfriend era that I had him send to my parents some years ago. For whatever reason, he hand delivered it, which I wasn’t there to see. Jesus how he’d broken my heart. Into a million pieces…

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2 months ago · 2 likes · 4 comments · Misch Schneider

And subscribe to ’s publication here.

El, My Dressing Room Stories

Firstly, huge thank you’s and gratitude to Lainey for offering me the immense honour to participate in Little Love Stories.

“Finding the me I want to be again”

It’s said that the relationship we hold with ourselves is the most important, and I’ve always believed that to be true, yet as I write this article, I’m having to ignore the not-so-subconscious voice in my mind, weighed as it is in societal judgement, telling me that calling my relationship with myself a love story is narcissistic.

This article is my way of hitting back at that voice, because all too often as women, especially as we age, we’re still told to be quiet, ignored or simply expected just to get on with it.

But age doesn’t take from us; it gives us such valuable attributes: experience, perspective, insight, and self-awareness.

At the age of 41, like so many of us, I’ve experienced different lives. I’ve survived and freed myself from an emotionally and financially abusive relationship. I’ve been stalked by an ex-fiancé, suffered the loss of adored family and a baby, moved country for my husband’s work, changed career, suffered from severe anxiety, been a shopaholic, renovated property, and lost myself more than once. I’ve been both kind and unkind to myself.

I’ve learnt we are constantly growing, changing, rebuilding, and starting again.

In my own story, the catalyst for change has often been the result of something I never could have imagined happening.

It’s scary and painful, and I’m sometimes a reluctant participant in my own journey, but it has also taught me why the relationship we hold with ourselves truly matters. It’s not just about having a ‘sort of’ confidence or financial independence from my partner (though the importance of this cannot be stressed enough). It’s also about feeling empowered enough to make my own choices and living a life that brings self-fulfilment and joy.

I now believe this comes from having a deep connection to ourselves.

If this article leaves you with anything, I hope it’s a feeling of sisterhood and strength.

Loving yourself has nothing to do with narcissism, but it might have everything to do with how much space or permission you give yourself to live a life that brings you joy, however that might look.

For me, I am still learning, healing, rebuilding, and trying to find joy whilst now living in Yorkshire.

Subscribe to El’s Substack here, and her welcome post explains all the exciting bits she’s planning to write about.

El's Substack

Hi! And WELCOME to El ~ My Dressing Room Stories

To begin, I’d just like to say THANK YOU for stopping by! I have always wanted to write, but it’s not something I’ve ever prioritised or consistently worked on…

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3 months ago · 1 like · 2 comments · El ~ My Dressing Room Stories

Michael Cox, author of Montecito

“Just hang out with her,” my friend advised. “She’s cool, she’s fun, and she knows everyone.”

I heeded his advice, trying to be cool myself by suggesting a casual coffee meetup. She politely declined, busy doing fun things with interesting people. But we kept talking, and eventually, she swapped my casual coffee for a beer at a bar where her beloved San Francisco 49ers were on TV. During that first encounter, I caught her giant grey-green eyes watching the game over my shoulder a dozen times. I was in love.

Of course, my friend was right. She was cool, fun, and knew everyone. So rather than burn my bridge to a hive of social life, I buried my burgeoning feelings, vowing to be a platonic wingman. We hung out. I met her friends. I became one of the crew. My feelings followed orders, fading like distant memories.

Then one evening, I drove her home from a late night at a hip West LA bar, parked in front of her apartment, and announced, “That was fun,” like any friend would. She cocked her head and said, “When are you going to kiss me?”

We got married one year later, nearly to the day. She says I was playing it cool. I say I was playing it clueless.

I read Michael’s book Montecito, and if you want a thriller with a male protagonist with green flag energy, this one is for you. I read it in two days (around my pesky day job) and couldn’t wait to get back to it.

You can purchase on Amazon US here. I bought it via Audible and my Kindle app in the UK (so I hope it’s available in multiple territories).

Have a look at Michael’s website here.

Want to write your own Little Love Story?

Inspired by The Modern Love Column in The New York Times, Little Love Stories are 200-word stories. The column’s tagline is “stories of love, loss, and redemption.” I’ll accept any story about love. The prompt is open – whether it’s love for a spouse, child, friendship, family member, or beloved pet, who doesn’t love love? Please DM me if you’re interested, and I’ll send you my email and instructions. You don’t have to consider yourself a writer or have a Substack to take part. I’d love to hear from readers, too.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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Take a look at the inaugural issue:

Bridget Jones’ Diary satirised the ‘90s culture of ultra-thin supermodels and heroin chic a la Kate Moss’s “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” (clearly, she’s never had chocolate mousse) or Liz Hurley’s “I’d kill myself if I was as fat a Marilyn Monroe.” I’m sorry, what? Meme plus record scratch. How rude!

Of course, reading and watching Bridget circa 2001 and Love, Actually in 2003, both of which used ‘fat’ jokes, I wasn’t ingesting the subtlety.

These ingrained bits don’t go away as I read this snippet by Anniki Sommerville recently and thought the photo she thought of herself as “fat” in looked quite slim to me. But it’s not about what’s in other people’s heads, is it? It’s how we feel about our own bodies. I hate how much brain space it takes up.

'Midlifin' it,' with Anniki Sommerville

The photo that ruined my win

(This is a photo taken a few years ago now as I hated the ones that were taken more recently- sad but true…

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4 months ago · 7 likes · 2 comments · Anniki Sommerville

Despite my handsome uni best friend, Chester, saying that not all men wanted to date supermodel thin women, I thought that in my 20s (and maybe even now) I ultimately failed at gaining an eating disorder, always loved eating a bit like a horse, and tried to out-exercise my diet (which always included puddings and chocolate bars).

No matter what I did (and I never tried hard not to eat or to diet), I remained firmly a US size 10 / UK 14 in an era where US size 0 / UK size 4 was a thing. (Even my very slim 14-year-old niece who is only 100-something pounds is a UK size 6/8 so I fully know that aspiring to be teenaged-size is a bit ridiculous in theory.)

I’m sure women everywhere have wondered if they were enough in an era of media led by the patriarchy that told women they need to be thin, feminine, hairless, effortlessly chic, and sexy – and whatever else that speech in the Barbie film and the darker version in Gone Girl told us women what we ought to be.

I can’t recall if my avid readership of Seventeen magazine (anyone remember Editor-in-Chief Atoosa?) and whatever else I ingested put bad body culture at the forefront, but the tabloids sure did.

Remember when they said Jessica Simpson was fat in that one outfit or Kate Winslet was too chunky? Being chunkier than both in real time, I struggled with thinking I was not as attractive as any woman who was even remotely thinner than me. All of the wasted headspace worried about such tosh. And in some ways still worried about it, rather embarrassingly.

The fact that I could write about at least eighty-something people in my saga of Why We Met shows that I didn’t have a problem finding men to date – and they didn’t always think my personality was sparkling – maybe says something about my warped perception?

But it also shows that dating is never about looks. I just couldn’t see it. No matter how many compliments I received, I thought half of them were lines.

And the sad truth is, I still can’t fully separate my mind from these thoughts. Some part of me still has body issues. I have been 20lbs thinner and 40lbs fatter than now. My husband, Michael, whose weight has barely fluctuated in our decade together, has never made me feel unattractive. I’ve gone to therapy. But these deep-seated issues are ingrained.

Maybe it’s just me? But I hate how much energy some of us women spend on our bodies, as it’s always the least interesting part about us. In my day-to-day life, I think very little about my body when I’m mostly working from home as a 9-5 corporate bog creature. And I scrub up okay when I do dress to go out.

When I’m having body issues, I’m always reminded of this brilliant Emma Thompson interview.

It started in my teen years. I was considered a tall and thin child with lots of energy and have always had a bottomless appetite (which I’ve learned to control now thanks to my nutritionist David and approaching middle age). But puberty hit me fully around age 16 when I went from thin, lightly muscular, and fit from running track to growing massive boobs, which I hated (and would still someday love to get reduced).

In middle school, I started to become conscious of my size. Not that anyone ever said anything. I was a US size 5 (US junior sizing came in odd numbers and women’s clothes were in even numbers) when most girls were a US size 1 or 3 then. Now, I have the frame of a woman who should be close to 6 feet tall, and yet I’m merely under 5’7”.

And despite not caring if other people were fat, thin, plump, or anything in between, I was absolutely obsessed with the fact that I’m a “big human.” I really am. I’m the cliché of “big boned.” Maybe in pictures and my mirror selfies, you can’t tell, but pop me next to a “normal” sized woman, and I look easily double the size. I’m simply a big human with hips the “normal” size US 8 / UK 12, but upper body, boobs, and shoulders larger US 10 / UK 14, and I have been up to US 14 / UK 18, depending.

Bridget in the book was only 135lbs at a time when I was 145-155lbs (which is what I am now but obviously not with youth and gravity in my favour) and being told she was “fat” because she wasn’t 110lbs. And let’s not get started on Paris Hilton versus Nichole Ritchie. Sadly, I’ve always loved food too much to restrict mine.

(I know it’s not funny to joke about EDs because I do have friends who have this seriously, and the way I struggle to restrict, they feel about eating, and it’s heartbreaking.)

All of the women that the media took down as “fat” were really just very thin women but not skeletal women, which seemed to be the standard. And as I was neither thin nor skeletal, I thought I was failing.

I often felt baffled that men found me attractive, especially when their previous girlfriends had been – in my eyes – model-standard thin and pretty and small-breasted (my ideal) — we never get what we want — and I was described as the most distasteful word to me: voluptuous.

Sure, Sophia Loren, Nigella Lawson, Kelly Brook, and Gemma Atwell were all sexy and beautiful, but they were still thinner than me yet considered “curvy.” In my mind, I wasn’t ever thin enough. My shoulders were square and angular. I’ve never had much of a waist to speak of, and those women had beautiful figures with lovely round hips.

The times I felt best about myself were the two times I’ve worked with personal trainers to get the physique I wanted (well, not fully, but closer) with the ability to eat (Thanks, Tiffany and Nicola). Some people eat to live, and others live to eat. Food is joy to me.

Obviously, no one in my life cares if I’m thin or attractive or if I have ever been considered or not considered those things. Just as I have friends and family of all sizes, shapes, and ages, and they are all beautiful to me in the way that all people you love with good hearts are beautiful. And internet strangers are beautiful.

We give so many concessions to others that we never give ourselves.

I joke now with people when they say they hate having their photo taken: every photo I’ve ever considered bad of myself, add five to ten years, and it’s suddenly a good photo.

I wish we all appreciated how good we look at any stage of life, whether we do or don’t fit the media standard of beauty.

I hope the media examples we ingest now are teaching young people better lessons.

When I met my over-a-decade-younger colleague, Nicole, in person while visiting her in Glasgow and we took a selfie, I asked if she wanted to look through the photos and ‘approve’ them, and she said, very refreshingly: “I look good in all my photos.”

That line was transformative to me. Imagine the world that could have been unlocked if I’d felt like that about myself at age 26? Even if her eyes were closed or whatever expression she had on, it didn’t matter to her. Incredible!

My niece at fourteen is confident and, as far as I know, has no body hang-ups. But then again, they all know how to put on makeup like seasoned professionals and live in trainers (Asics are apparently cool now), White Fox, and Nike Pro leggings…

The younger generations are going to be okay. Thankfully! Because it really sucks to struggle with the idea of something so drastically unimportant as weight, body size, and looks.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

Side note/non sequitur: I always loved that Bridget Jones’ Diary was a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice just how Clueless is a retelling of Emma and 10 Things I Hate About You is The Taming of the Shrew. I know there are countless modern examples, and I find them fun. There’s nothing new under the sun, as they say.

What body image issues (if any) do you think defined your generation? Do you think young people are less confronted with these ideas?

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Michael is now reading it before it goes again to for further developmental edits. I’ve cut and rewritten most of it, to be honest, and I felt it’s been my best effort yet, but my husband has a way to humble me to say he much preferred The Broken Engagement Club, but also admits that’s probably down to genre as this one is straight rom com. Anyway, I’ll let Kristen give the final judgment.

I’ve unplugged from writing social media posts and doing any Substack writing and just allowed myself time to read on my hammock in the garden over the weekend, take naps, and generally let my nervous system calm down before I delve into book three.

The question being, do I continue down the rom-com path or try my hand at mystery? The trouble being I have a fantastic mystery idea but zero idea how to write a mystery. Any pointers, ?

Without further ado, here is a writer I discovered last year, plus a writer I discovered this year (and hope to read all her backlist), and a television show adapted from some Marian Keyes books I loved.

Laura Starkey’s All You Had to Do Was Stay

Thus far, I’ve read only one of Starkey’s other books, The Love Edit, but I followed her on social media and DMed her to let her know I was enjoying the novel. She was incredibly kind and told me that many of her readers find this protagonist their least favourite, but she also loved this character.

We once also DMed over some funny post she’d written, and I said how I didn’t love 90s fashion as in I associate it with bucket hats, which I do not love. Laura said that 90s fashion was the best and I realised that both Clueless and Empire Records were technically 90s fashion and reluctantly agreed. She basically said 00s fashion is the absolute worst, and I think fondly of butterfly clips, but although I could pull off ultra low-rise jeans then, I’m glad that they aren’t in fashion now.

I ordered her latest novel, All You Had to Do Was Stay, and she considers this her best yet, and I absolutely loved it. I devoured it. The tension and chemistry were palpable between the characters.

The tagline is “Two broken hearts. Four years apart. One chance to choose again.”

It’s about a wedding planner and a mathematician who grew up together, fell in love, and then fell apart over a misunderstanding. Their brothers are getting married, and suddenly they have to be on the same continent again (he’s been living in Australia).

It also made me realise a good plot device is always a quest or plan of some kind. It had a page-turnery quality I loved plus features a performative heartsick musician, a podcaster, and a narcissistic mother. The sibling characters are adorable too.

Ashley Poston’s The Someday Garden

I discovered Ashley Poston sometime last year with The Seven Year Slip. I adored it so much that I proceeded to read absolutely every other book she had. Have you heard of her and read her?

I had high hopes for The Someday Garden, and I err on the side of liking things, but I don’t think it was quite as good as her other works; the concept was still cute, and it was still entertaining. And it’s okay when writers try something new.

It sort of reminded me if The Secret Garden was a rom-com, but spoiler(ish), it never did explain why this one man was trapped in the garden when he was perfectly alive outside of it. I’m all about suspending one’s disbelief, but I’d like to think that with a big budget plus fancy editors and a fancy publishing house, readers would have realised that this piece of the puzzle is missing?

That being said, I liked the characters and the fact she’s a horticulturalist. Has that been done before? I don’t know, but it felt fresh. The concept and the story were fresh, including an angry goose, gardens, a romantic old lady, fun side characters, and a love triangle.

I look forward to seeing what she has in store for us next. I love a magical realism story.

The Walsh Sisters on BBC/Amazon Prime

My confession is besides watching television shows with Michael in the evening, I haven’t watched any television on my own lately. I’m still stuck one episode into those other two shows I talked about on Rom Com Reviews (the cheerleader one and the Dolly Alderton one but I very much finished the Off Campus one). Eek!

Michael and I have watched Lessons in Chemistry together recently, and I loved the book and didn’t mind the show as a show even if it’s not entirely like the book. By don’t mind, I really did love the TV show, but thankfully it’s been so long since I read the book that I don’t entirely recall. I think many of the plot points were invented for television. We are now watching whatever the latest season is of Silo and a disturbing show about cats from Ricky Gervais on Netflix.

Cats are my absolute favourite, and I don’t love anything that gives cats bad PR. It could have been such a cute show. Instead it’s like a Gervais stand-up with the mouths of cats saying the bit. I like Gervais very very much and loved After Life and Extras but don’t mess with the cats.

I had planned to watch and review Heatstopper Forever. The premise seemed cute, but just as I got about fifteen minutes in, I realised (via Wikipedia deep dive) that it’s part of an entire television series and it’s derived from a book and I thought this would be a huge commitment. I wasn’t sure if the film could be enjoyed as a standalone film without having any of the backstory. Have you seen anything about it or heard of these books?

I watched The Walsh Sisters a while ago. I have read every Walsh sisters Marian Keyes book there is, starting with Watermelon and the much-loved Rachel’s Holiday. I adore these books. The humour. The sometimes dark and deep subject matter. The fun love stories. Very 90s in some ways. Hilarious about 1970s parenting, too. I always recall a line that goes something about how the mum never wanted the girls to have high self-esteem.

Now, was the television show anything like the books, did it have the same ‘vibes’? Not at all.

I liked the television show and the charm of the actresses very much. I think it’s worth watching as its own thing, but I was disappointed it didn’t capture the books in the same way I received them.

I’ll definitely watch further seasons, but they tried to mash up all the sisters’ stories into one thing instead of going book by book. But hey, I’m no screenwriter.

Books, television, and film are completely different mediums, and a screen adaptation can never be like a book – and that has to be okay.

Can you think of any television or film adaptation that you thought they did well from the book version?

Recommendation of the week

This week, I recommend of and her latest string to her bow, Timeless by Design. Diana is a former CEO turned writer and executive coach. Her newsletter is full of heartfelt anecdotes, lessons she’s learned as she ages, the odd literary review, and so much more than I can encompass. Check out her Substack.

Wit & Wisdom

Wit & Wisdom: The Almost Birthday Edition

The fascinating thing about having undergone a “Life in Review” exercise so close to my birthday, is that it manages to crystalize all the things I wish I’d known when I was younger—the bits of accumulated wisdom I would love to magically mind meld onto my “before” self. But then again, if there is any truth to the maxim that…

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5 months ago · 14 likes · 29 comments · Diana M. Wilson

What I’ve just finished reading: Kirsty Greenwood’s He Will Be Mine (renamed The Movie Star and Me) and Mhairi McFarlane’s Cover Story.

On my Kindle: Kirsty Greenwood’s Jessica Beam Is a Hot Mess (my Kindle came with Kindle Unlimited, and it’s very difficult to choose novels out of thin air).

What’s on my Audible now: Michael Cox’s Montecito. I discovered Michael via a guest post on my developmental editor Kristen Weber’s publication, and his story is inspiring, so I look forward to digging in.

Inside an Editor's Brain

Publishing Only Gets One Vote (Guest Post)

I spend a lot of time talking about gatekeepers in publishing, but my role has never been to stand in front of the gate. It's to help writers get through it…

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4 months ago · 47 likes · 36 comments · Kristen Weber

What I’ll read next: Laura Starkey’s The Spare Room and Love Off Script. I’m doing that obsessive thing where I discover an author and read all their backlist. I feel like I’m about to do this with Mhairi McFarlane, too, and I’m attempting to do this, albeit more slowly with Sophie Kinsella. Speaking of Kinsella, why are there no more screen adaptations of her work? Same with Jojo Moyes. We need more rom coms in the world again. I miss the age of 90s and 00s rom coms and 90-minute films.

Book count for the year: 57

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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P.S. The brilliant poet, , of has just released his debut poetry collection, Work Is Work, about what it’s like to be a creative with a 9-5 (probably most of us). I’ve bought it in print and on my Kindle. If you’d like to check out his Substack and grab a copy, here are the links for the UK and the US (sorry I don’t have links for other markets) and his intro to the collection.

Garbage Notes

Introducing: Work Is Work

I am here today to introduce my new book Work Is Work. This is my debut poetry collection, and it is out now…

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3 months ago · 96 likes · 70 comments · Franco Amati

P.P.S. Did you see my very FIRST issue of Little Love Stories? I say my first issue, but it’s really the generous writers who wrote for it that I’m ever so grateful for. Thank you, , Dr , , , and .

Catch up on the previous rom com review issue here:

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Taking inspiration from The New York Times’ Modern Love column1 and their ‘tiny love stories’ section – and also Charlotte’s nudging hand – readers can submit a 200-word love story to be featured on Why We Met. I’m open to the format and the content. I’m not sure how I’d squeeze my own love story (rom com in reverse) into 200 words, so it’s been interesting to see what these generous writers have come up with.

I’ve been a long-time fan of four of these Substackers (Dr Barbs, Tacita, Wendy, and Charlotte) since I discovered Substack at least three years ago now – and a recent convert to my latest discovery, Yuni.

I encourage you to subscribe to their newsletters because they’re all charming and talented.

*The headings below denote the author’s name and their Substack publication name (not the title of what follows).2

Yuni Jung, The Steelmaker’s Daughter

Before I married my ex-husband, I’d been teaching English in Korea. After my divorce, I needed to refresh my English to teach again. I saw a Cultural Exchange section in an English newspaper, where you could connect with a native speaker, hoping he’d help you with that foreign language while you helped him with Korean culture.

Mark, my husband, an American G.I., responded, and we met for the first time at Dongdaemun, one of the busiest places in Seoul. He was standing at a crosswalk in the midst of hundreds of Korean people, his blue jumper and thinning hair standing out.

At first, we had no intention of starting any kind of relationship, but somewhere along the line, he changed his mind and started telling me he loved me. He was American, divorced, the father of two teenage kids. No way would I date him. But then, who was I? A divorcée myself. At least he was nice and kind, and didn’t pull that “I’m a man, so you listen to me” nonsense. I was so sick and tired of it.

That was twenty-three years ago. Now, I have two beautiful daughters with him.

Read ’s publication here.

Here’s a longer piece that alludes to Yuni’s happy ending and the start of her story.

The Steelmaker's Daughter

Episode 1: Return Flight

Last fall, one evening when I’d just finished the dishes and was about to crack open a beer and start on Netflix, Mom called me on KakaoTalk. Myungwoo was getting married in February, she said. Could I come to Korea for the wedding…

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a year ago · 28 likes · 37 comments · Yuni Jung

Dr Barbs Honeycutt, Where are you from and why?

When you’re Italian and move to Melbourne for a guy you met online before dating apps made it socially acceptable, the question becomes inevitable: “So... how did you two meet?”

In perfect sync, one of us would answer, “It’s a long story,” while the other said, “Online.”

These days, saying you met online is so ordinary nobody even blinks. Back then, it wasn’t exactly a shortcut to cool and edgy points.

In reality, the very first exchange we ever had in a chatroom went like this: “Are you a bot?”

“No.”

“That’s exactly what a bot would say.”

Not the kind of meet-cute that makes Hollywood fight over the film rights. Which explains why the boyfriend still prefers to file it under the conveniently vague category of “it’s a long story.”

Luckily, every couple needs at least one completely arbitrary metric to feel cool about.

Ours is this: after all these years, we’re still proudly sitting on a perfect 0% ‘babe’ index score, never calling each other with pet names.

Read Dr ’s publication here.

Here’s the longer version of how Dr Barbs, an Italian, met her Australian boyfriend.

Where are you from, and why?

How I met The Boyfriend

[Whatsapp tune] ‘Can I be your boyfriend…

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3 years ago · 18 likes · 13 comments · Barbs Honeycutt

Tacita B, I wasn’t finished… (formerly Sober Millennial)

Leaning back in his chair, stripes shaved into his temples in classic east London brown boy fashion, I watched as he stretched his smug face into a smirk. “Dinosaur!” he yelled at a girl in our GCSE history class.

I thought, “Urgh, what a twat.” Little did I know, I’d let him into my twat four years later. But before such extracurriculars, we ended up in the same A Level English Literature class two years later.

He had lost some baby fat, kept the stripes but exchanged his arrogance for a quiet confidence. As Ms Elton asked a question about a passage from A Clockwork Orange, Imran gave us his interpretation – something about dystopian landscape, corrupt government, your typical anti-establishment rhetoric.

But my eyes widened with intrigue as I realised he had a brain beyond sub-par. After two years of friendship, the demise of our separate adolescent relationships, and leaving sixth form, we started chatting more on BBM. BBM chats evolved into phone calls, phone calls into “want to meet me after work?”

He met me on Oxford Street, brownies he baked resting comfortably in tupperware, and we walked and talked for hours. Thirteen years of losing jobs, family, pet grief, mental health episodes, but against a mountainous landscape of love, I’m still in love with the silly brown boy I wanted to boot off his chair in History class.

Read ’s publication here.

Here’s a piece on celebrity crushes and healthy communication in relationships.

i wasn't finished...

I’m in a relationship, I’m not dead

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2 years ago · 1 like · 2 comments · Tacita <3

Wendy Varley, Wendy’s World

I met the love of my life in 1986 after he replied to my lonely hearts ad. We had triplet daughters ten months later. Forty years on, we are still together and still in love.

That’s the short version.

But before I fell for Ian, I fell for his letter, which rose to the top of the sixty replies, even before I’d opened it. Something about the grey envelope (grey was ultra-trendy in ’86) and his handwriting. The style was uncluttered, but slightly odd, not joined up, which gave it a childlike quality. It contained a lively, witty and optimistic letter from a 22-year-old journalist (I was 25). He described himself as tall, blondish, with hair and a nose that he didn’t like, and an interesting neck scar.

He’d recently arrived in London, and he was replying to my ad because “what the hell is always the best decision to make” (I found out later that he’d cribbed that line from the Nicholas Roeg film, Insignificance.)

In that analogue era – no mobile phones, no apps; I hadn’t even asked for a photo – I had a feeling, just from reading his reply, that he was the one.

Read ’s publication here.

Here’s the full version of Wendy’s “How I Met My Match.”

Wendy’s World

How I met my match

I’ve read some highly entertaining stories of blind dates on Substack which have prompted me to tell my own story…

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2 years ago · 396 likes · 151 comments · Wendy Varley

Charlotte Stephens, Baby Brain

My daughter went through a phase last summer of sitting on our window seat, watching the bees in the garden. She was not yet two and really quite tiny, so we’d sit with her to help her keep balance, narrating everything as she pointed.

“That’s a bee, that’s a bird, those guys are connected but we’ll talk about that when you’re older.”

She was delighted by this activity, and would do it all day long if we let her – the simple things really get them at that age, and if you let them, they’ll get you, too.

I was sitting with her one afternoon when that exact thing – the getting of me – happened. We were pointing out the bees – for perhaps the millionth time – when a ray of sunlight hit her square in the face. She turned to look at me. I pointed out the dust motes swirling through the air as she squinted. Pointing at the dust and then back to the bees and then at me, she smiled, and I was hit with a rush of love.

“This child,” I remember thinking, “is amazing. Pure sunshine. I’m so lucky to be her mum.”

Read ’ publication here.

Here’s an introduction to Charlotte’s publication.

Baby Brain

New Here?

I’m just going to dive in and explain what’s going on around here. Cool? Cool. (☕…

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7 months ago · 45 likes · Charlotte Stephens

Thank you for my first issue

Thanks to these generous writers – and my lovely readers (still pinching myself that some people actually read my words every now and then) – for sharing your little love stories.

Each of these writers has interesting publications, sharing snippets of their past lives and/or present-day musings.

Want to write your own 200-word little love story?

I welcome you to DM me (or reply to this email) to write your own little love story for Why We Met. It doesn’t have to be about romantic love. It can be love for a friend, family member, something else (surprise me). As all these stories show, love is in the little moments and the choices we make.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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Romantic Hero by Kirsty Greenwood

The Love of my Afterlife by Kirsty Greenwood was such a fun and charming read, and Romantic Hero is no different.

I love Greenwood’s origin story. She’s from Saddleworth (the posh part of Oldham, which is where I’m from – the Oldham bit not the posh bit but I have family friends there and my cousin, Pam, so I’m familiar with it). Years ago I discovered her novel, Big Sexy Love, about a meek woman who meets a guy who writes for an SNL-type show when she’s on a quest from her dying best friend.

I think Greenwood was either self-published or indie-published, but her books sold very well and were popular, and that prompted her to get a traditional book deal – a seven-figure two-book deal with Penguin. Publishers often do that with writers who are able to be popular on their own. Anyway, I’ve been absolutely delighted to follow her much-deserved journey.

But as many of us know about publishing, she probably isn’t an instant millionaire. I’m sure her two agents took a cut, taxes in the US and the UK certainly would take another chunk, and she’ll have been paid in six to eight instalments over the last three years. Her new book just came out in June, and her previous book came out in 2024. I do hope both of her books get made into films, though, and I did hear that’s when authors can actually become wealthy, so go, Kirsty!

Romantic Hero is about a romance author, Gertie Bickerstaff, whose life falls apart after a breakup, developing writer’s block, despite an ever-looming deadline. She wakes up to find a handsome cowboy on her sofa and realises he’s the villain, River Oakley, from her popular book series. How can she send him back to the pages of her book and cure her writer’s block?

The cast of characters in this novel really shines: the quirky neighbour and her dog, her agent, her ex (obvs for the good/bad reasons), and the people at a particular posh party. I listened to this book as fast as I could, and it’ll probably be one I’ll read again (although I am generally not a re-reader outside of, say, Jane Austen).

I love this trend of magical realism lately, and I wish I could write something like this myself.

Highland Getaway by Amber Eve

is an author I discovered via her charming Substack (subscribe and read about her life and journey), and I think it was on recommendation by .

Eve is another popular indie author who landed a traditional book deal. And I pre-ordered Highland Getaway on Audible, and I loved it. I’ve never seen a rom-com also be a mystery, too, and I absolutely adored the deviation from the ‘norm.’

Rosie Winter heads to a remote Scottish castle for a luxury hotel influencer event even though she knows she’s the ‘wrong Rosie’ (i.e. it’s a case of mistaken identity), but she really needs to get away and reinvent herself. There she meets the handsome groundskeeper, Hunter Stuart, along with other guests, hotel staff, and colourful locals.

I found this plot to have all the typical and beloved rom-com elements in some sense but to be really unique in another sense, and it was such a fun read – and we all need an escapist read. I loved the new take on influencers too, the setting, the twists and turns, and answers to the mystery questions.

America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Netflix

I never see anything ‘on time’ (i.e. I’ve never been a finger on the pulse sort of person), so when this show was recommended in my Netflix queue – perhaps last year – I had two seasons to watch. And there was something fascinating about these women who put themselves in these remarkable physical situations for this cheerleading dream in a Texas town. So many of them work multiple jobs and are still so dedicated to the cheer squad and told to ‘suck it up’ by people who are probably literal millionaires and have no idea what it’s like to walk in their (cowboy) boots.

I’m only one episode into the new season three, and I suspect it’ll take me a while to get through the show – maybe this is what I’ll do with my lunch breaks this week – but as someone who doesn’t watch reality TV all that often, I’m drawn to the human element of these women’s stories.

They’re compelling. They’re charming. They’re beautiful. They’re dedicated and tough.

With all my body hangups, I cannot imagine the pressure they have to do what they do physically and have the demands to look perfect in tiny shorts and midriff-baring tops. I wish I looked like them or even the less-in-shape version, but if that’s what it takes (heh!), I’ll never get there.

And the toll these splits and high kicks take on their bodies – and in the American healthcare landscape – they’re incredibly brave. I honestly don’t know how and why they do it, but we all love people who are passionate about whatever it is they do, be it cheese sculpting, cheerleading, or sports.

The first episode in season three addresses how some of the girls have become popular worldwide (and laments that they hope the girls are in it ‘for the right reasons’) and thus are earning money from being social media stars as well as cheerleaders, and I say bloody good for them. A very rich organisation that pays football players loads but pays the cheerleaders a barely livable wage can’t throw stones at glass houses.

Recommendation of the week

I highly recommend the very hilarious of A New Wrinkle for a look into the Gen X mind. She writes humorous essays on her Substack (parenting, exercise, airports, rejection, buying cannabis) and talks about what it’s like to be an author querying after previously being agented and on sub. She’s been a huge support in my journey, and I’m ever so grateful.

A New Wrinkle

Writing about the GenX experience with humor (or trying, at least).

By Diane Roth

What I’ve just finished reading: Ashley Poston’s The Someday Garden (rom com review soon on this)

On my Kindle: Kirsty Greenwood’s The Movie Star and Me

What’s on Audible now: ’s Cold Fish Soup. I love his stories. Raw, honest, open, sensitive; his mum is a charming ‘character,’ and his musings remind me of my husband if my husband was a writer. Plus, I think his writing is the antidote to the manosphere. Like every man needs to read Broken Biscuits. The world would be a better place with introspective, intelligent, thoughtful, funny men.

What I’ll read next: Laura Starkey’s All You Had to Do Was Stay and Mhairi McFarlane’s Cover Story (so many suggestions I’ll love her and especially from the brilliant )

Book count for the year: 53

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

Subscribe now

Catch up on the previous rom com review issue here:

Have you read either of these books and/or seen this show? What do you think? Any recommendations for what’s next?

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I suspect my husband is undiagnosed on the spectrum because aspies (and other autistic people) absolutely love what they love (great quality) and enjoy sharing those interests with other people. So, when we met, Michael took it upon himself to give me the television and film education he felt I missed.

Disclaimer: in subsequent years, he tailors our viewing pleasure to things that interest us both—we also have a shared interest in films like About Time—and we individually watch things that the other wouldn’t want to watch.

But back then, this education included watching films like Aliens (he loves a strong female lead like Sigourney) and apparently dirty vest tops (like in Die Hard, which is NOT a Christmas film despite presence of a Christmas tree). As someone probably overly hygienic (which I appreciate Michael for being too), I couldn’t help but focus on how progressively dirty Bruce’s top became and how off-putting that was. I digress (as usual).

These obsessions have worked in my favour over the years.

Michael extensively researches and books all our holidays, for example. Even going so far as to watch people’s YouTube play-by-play holiday videos, doing a deep dive on customer reviews, and visiting Google Street View to see locations, how far the resort is from the airport, and so on. I’m happy to say, he’s never steered us wrong.

He also likes the washing done a certain way, so I’m banned from the washing machine, and he has a very British propensity to love ‘drying weather’ and hanging things out on the washing line. It’s been his absolute bliss having a sunny England for the last few weeks for this purpose. Not so much when I’m boiling in my office with a giant window acting like a greenhouse.

He likes to plan and cook our meals—and shop for them. No, I don’t practise weaponised incompetence. He really hates when I select the wrong ‘sell by’ date because the sell by date for Michael is like an alarm code. Things have to be eaten at least two or more days before the pesky date.

In my family, you sort of used turning veg in soups, and you did sniff tests on everything else—and you may break out the apple cider vinegar and water drink to fortify your stomach a bit. I’m a no-waste sort of person, and Michael is a ‘let’s throw pound coins in the bin.’ We’ve learned to compromise over the years, which is I tell Michael to buy much much less than he thinks he needs and I ensure absolutely no scrap of food is wasted even if I have to eat all the soups myself. (But he’s coming around to the stock soups made from his Sunday roasts.)

In our early days, Michael wanted to introduce me to television shows (that he considers ‘classics’) such as The Inbetweeners, Fresh Meat, and Him and Her. He has his comfort watches that he revisits, so he didn’t mind rewatching these shows with me, despite seeming to memorise many of the lines from The Inbetweeners.

I’m not even sure if people have heard of Him and Her.

The Wikipedia entry says of the show that it’s about “a lazy twenty-something couple: Steve and Becky, who live in Walthamstow, London.”

It stars Russel Tovey, Sarah Solemani (who was later the news presenter in Bridget Jones’s Baby), Kelly Howard (comedian Russel Howard’s sister), Joe Wilkinson (from Sex Education and Ricky Gervais’s After Life).

I suppose it’s a bit like the young person version of The Royle Family (circa 1998).

The couple live in a bedsit and mostly spend time in bed watching DVDs with interruptions from Becky’s absolutely horrendous sister and her fiancé, her sister’s friend, and Becky and Steve’s upstairs neighbour, Dan (very funny character). It’s also our running joke when Michael does the ‘Dan’ stance. You’d have to watch it to know.

It ran for four seasons with six, twenty-eight-minute episodes and the odd Christmas special from 2010 to 2013. I’m sure many of the jokes haven’t aged well, and there’s no single trailer, so the clips are a little out of context.

To be fair, I did find it very amusing, although a little depressing in the way that The Royle Family is a bit depressing when people are trapped in this sort of life, but maybe they’re happy, so who am I to judge? I can never tell if these sorts of comedies are punching down at people like this or not, and that always makes me uncomfortable.

Anyway, in one episode of the show, Steve makes his signature meal for Becky: spaghetti nuggets.

It’s what you can imagine.

Frozen chicken nuggets, boiled spaghetti, and a smattering of jarred tomato sauce.

I used to commute to my content marketing writing job in Clitheroe, Lancashire (very beautiful drive and place—even has a castle). The drive was only 45 minutes, but in the past, having lived short commute distances from work in the US, this commute felt epic and exhausting. Although I did manage to listen to all 60-something hours of Sherlock Holmes on the drive, various podcasts, and other books, so not entirely time wasted.

I’d sometimes go to CrossFit after work, at which I took some rowing class with a former Olympic instructor and completely did my back in quasimodo style with my sciatica and a cramped calf, but that was later in the timeline.

I’d come home hungry was the long story long of it, lunch being a distant memory and my workout upping my appetite.

For the first time, I knew what it felt like to be a 1950s husband. I came home from my work, figurative briefcase in hand, and Michael who had come home from work as a postman sometime after midday (in the good old days of the job), been to the gym for two hours, done the shopping, and the laundry, and got dinner on the table for when I came home (or in this case Michael’s preferred method of tea tray on the lap). Absolute bliss. My husband (then boyfriend) certainly needed a proper wife. Unfortunately, for him, I’d never morph into one.

On this particular day in 2017, as a joke, Michael had decided he’d surprise me with spaghetti nuggets.

After I got over the absolute hilarity of the situation, I proceeded to start eating it. When Michael saw I was actually eating it, he was absolutely horrified.

“No, no, I didn’t mean for you to eat it. It was just a joke. I actually made a real tea,” he proclaimed, before removing the dish from my face and feeding me my actual tea.

To be fair, I was just thankful to have food presented to me even if it was spaghetti nuggets. I am still grateful all these years later every time Michael makes dinner.

Up next, our first holiday to Lanzarote. Oh, how times have changed!

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

When you first started dating someone, did you introduce them to all the shows, films, and theatre you love, or will you in future?

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This issue of rom-com reviews covers Lily King’s Writers & Lovers, Brooke Averick’s Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It, and, of course, Off Campus.

Writers & Lovers by Lily King

I read this on my new Kindle – my first full read on this device – so I’ve savoured it and read it quite slowly as when you read physical books or eBooks, that’s all you can do. With audio, I can potter around and listen, whether that’s tidying up or playing a phone game (guilty, mindless pleasure), my brain can do two things at once. I blame the short attention spans due to technology. I miss when I could read, uninterrupted for hours on end.

I didn’t know that Heart the Lover was a sequel of sorts to Writers & Lovers, but I don’t think you have to read them in order.

It reminded me of the in-between time after my bachelor’s and between my master’s where I realised I was unemployable during a recession and broke, except I didn’t even have a difficult waitressing job. Thankfully, my department came through offering me (along with nine other students) funded places to do our MA and suddenly, with teaching assistant (TA) pay, I could eat and pay rent again. I was definitely not trying to write a novel in this time. I barely had time to manage my studies, sleep, eat, date, and party as it was. I wish I’d tried, but alas, that was not to be my life timeline.

Honestly, I was productive but not in the good way, but I always think that your 20s should be for living. How else have you lived enough to write about anything? I think I came to novel writing at the right time: in my late 30s. Hopefully, I’ll squeak by being published by 40, but we’ll see (I’m already ticking closer month by month).

I recommend anything by Lily King, having read a grand total of two of her books. The writing is beautiful, emotional;

you feel immersed in the characters’ lives. Love triangles are always good for drama.

But with anything, after a perusal on Goodreads reviews, there are those who think the book is life-changing and those who thought it was supremely boring. You can’t please everyone. Have you read it?

Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It by Brooke Averick

Love the premise of this one. In my own words: an anxious kindergarten teacher receives a letter at age 29 from her 17-year-old self (a class project) with what she wants to accomplish by the age of 30, and it only says one thing: lose your virginity.

The problem? She’s still a virgin, and it’s a month until her birthday. Despite having a lovely friend group, being successful in her career, and having the quintessential hot best friend and housemate, she has always been too anxious to lose it.

It’s a very cute premise, and I love how the list (and her funny, delusional thinking in places) lends structure to the plot where you want to know what will happen and who she’ll lose it to. Will it be the hottie she lives with? The guy she knew from high school who has been in love with her, but she’s too anxious to do more than text him their game scores? Or the new handsome teacher who has joined the school?

I hadn’t heard of Averick before, but apparently she’s a popular podcaster. Lots of people on the internet are annoyed she got a book deal and consider the writing more akin to YA, but I didn’t think that. I enjoyed it. Maybe I won’t remember it ten reads from now, but I think this suits the kind of market and the kind of woman who wasn’t a serial dater and suffered from anxiety.

Off Campus on Amazon Prime

Okay, so I’m working on rewrites of my ‘book 2’ which is really the third manuscript I’ve written, but the technical ‘book 1’ is for the bin and the real ‘book 2’ is the book that my agent has taken on submission to publishers. But I gave in and watched the first four episodes of Off Campus on Saturday morning with my niece, Caroline, and boy, do I not have time to get sucked into a show, but I’m loving it. I would have watched more if my niece hadn’t wanted us to, you know, actually go in the garden and drag our eyes away from the television.

Sophia Money-Coutts of and of Baby Brain were right in their hype.

My niece said she watched Euphoria with my sister, and I think this is definitely a more wholesome example. You’ll have to see Charlotte’s review for more and better details here.

You Need to Watch This!

Is "Off Campus" All Hype? Inside the Internet's Newest NSFW Romance Obsession

Readers of my Substack know that I’m a romance enthusiast. When I’m not writing my debut workplace romance, So This Is Happening (Empress Editions, Feb. 2027), or moderating a monthly romance book club for a New England library, I’m usually reading romance or watching it…

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4 months ago · 40 likes · 55 comments · Beth Lisogorsky and Charlotte Stephens

Anyway, I’ve invited my niece to stay over tonight so we can watch the remaining episodes between my lunch break and after work. May my niece find this kind of love and intimacy (when she’s old enough) and not the toxic Andrew Tate sort of boy.

I definitely think younger gens should be watching it (for the good modelling), and it can remain a millennial and Gen X guilty pleasure too.

Recommendation of the week

Dr writes a gorgeous newsletter, Doorknob Confessions, about being a doctor, her breast cancer journey, all the amazing theatre she attends (very jealous), and all sorts. It’s a charming must-read. The title of her Substack comes from the fact many of her patients linger at the door and tell her their most important bit of info. I’m sure we’ve all felt that in a medical setting.

Doorknob Confessions by Hannah Harris

Hannah’s Culture Diaries - June 2026

In brief: Care - Young Vic; Miss Prydderch - Cardiff; Sitcom Mission competition; Cecily Brown; David Hockney; Tate Britain; Hourglass Disco - Southbank; Summer Exhibition; The Devil Wears Prada 2…

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4 months ago · 17 likes · 8 comments · Hannah Harris

What I’ve just finished reading: The above. But I’m so thrilled my husband finally finished reading Broken Biscuits by upon my recommendation and absolutely loved it as I knew he would. He related so heavily to Farrer’s experiences and it brought up both good and bad memories. I think he found someone who sadly, was bullied almost worse than he was. It’s a beautiful portrait of the kind of good, kind masculinity Off Campus denotes, and we need more of it, so recommend this collection to the men in your life.

On my Kindle: Ashley Poston’s The Someday Garden. I discovered Poston last year and quickly read all of her books. I wish I could come up with a magical realism idea like hers and like About Time.

In hardcover/print: Finished A Fortune Most Fatal by Jessica Bull. Not as good as the first one, but I’m a sucker for all things Austen, so I enjoyed it. Not sure what’s up next in print yet, though.

On Audible: Kirsty Greenwood’s Romantic Hero. Have been very excited for this release, and then I plan to listen to Farrer’s Cold Fish Soup and maybe jump on the Heated Rivalry bandwagon too and read the book and watch the show.

Book count for the year: Made it to my target of 50, so I feel happy to have ‘met’ my goal and will see how many I reach now by December.

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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If you’d prefer not to receive emails from the ‘rom com’ reviews section, here’s a video and instructions showing you how to subscribe and unsubscribe from each section.

Catch up on the previous rom-com review issues here:

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Sweet Sorrow by David Nicholls

I love everything Nicholls writes. He’s one of those 1% authors who, in his 25+ year writing career, hasn’t had to write that many novels. Very lucky him.

I thought I’d read all his novels, but realised I had missed this one completely somehow.

It took me a while to get into the early chapters. Not sure why, really. But then, as it progressed, I zipped through it. It’s a beautiful coming-of-age tale of first love and a boy who goes off the rails a bit due to his parents’ divorce.

It deals with heavy and sad themes, as his father is so depressed he essentially has to be a caretaker to his parent, and no young person should have to deal with that, but I imagine those readers who have experienced that will find inner healing in this book. I feel so much empathy for young people who have to endure this, and it’s sad that some parents are trying their best but make their children take on burdens they shouldn’t.

I’m making it sound depressing, but it’s woven around a coming-of-age tale where a boy, Charlie Lewis, in 1997, meets a girl, Fran Fisher, who changes his outlook and his summer by encouraging him to join a theatre company performing Romeo and Juliet.

The blurb describes it as “a tragicomedy about the rocky path to adulthood and the confusion of family life, a celebration of the reviving power of friendship and that brief, searing explosion of first love that can only be looked at directly after it has burned out.”

Nicholls always delivers for me, and there are some funny, nostalgic moments described, like how we had a time of stopping the videotape when rewinding or fast-forwarding at just the right time, before digitisation.

Voicemails for Isabelle on Netflix

I’m not super emotional in life – I mean, I have emotions, but I’m not one of those women who can cry on demand – but boy, can a book or film make me weep. And this just did. I have no idea if this was a book first, but the story hit all the emotional rom-com moments.

There were some cheesy dance sequences and montages and all the right kind of emotional highs and lows. The character growth, arc, and great acting. We’ve all seen the rom-com tropes, but the film was fresh.

Just keep the tissues handy.

Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

Sad to say, I didn’t join Sophie Kinsella’s fandom until fairly recently, but I’m enjoying all I’ve read thus far, which I think is about four books but not Shopaholic yet. Have you read those books or any of hers?

This book is discussed in Save the Cat, and I’d hoped that when listening to the audiobook, I’d not recall enough of the plot points, but I did; however, I still very much enjoyed this book.

I loved the momentum of the quests, the secret reveals, the character development (even if Great Aunt Sadie’s ghost was quite shrill and annoying in parts). It’s a book about Lara, owner of a failing business (her business partner has flitted off to Bali), a recent breakup with Mr Boring (whom she wants back), and now the ghost of her Great Aunt (whose funeral is depressing).

When her great-aunt’s ghost appears, saying she can’t rest until she finds her long-lost necklace, Lara is taken on a mission to discover her family’s past and secrets. The story does have romantic elements, but the main focus is on family and growth. I found it to be a page-turner and even stayed up far too late reading to finish it.

But as with anything in life, all books have their readers. I checked out some one-star reviews, and some people just don’t like things! Sigh! Every book I love has its haters.

(Non sequitur: Even if technically The Notebook film was better than the book, which is usually a statement I never make. Please bring back the era of publishing where your 50k-word novel[la] gets $1m advance. LOLs.)

Recommendation of the week

Back when I was in Dr Kvande’s 18th-century restoration class in undergrad, I remember reading The School for Scandal by Richard Brinsley Sheridan. Dr Kvande had a way of making history and literature come alive, one of the best kinds of professors, and she has continued her career far away from Georgia and teaches at Texas Tech. We were lucky to have a sparkling English department faculty, many having attended Ivy League universities themselves before being stuck with tenure in the middle of nowhere. I digress.

Anyway, when ’s novel, The Marriage Vendetta, kept doing the rounds on Substack interviews, I was absolutely intrigued. I knew she had an absolutely inspiring story (I’m sure not inspiring when in the trenches, though) of taking a decade to become an author and how she had to rewrite her novel from what I presume was a more historical take to a modern take on the playwright and his underappreciated wife.

The ending is surprising, and if you love mum playground drama plus scandal, you’ll love this. As a non-parent, the school gates drama is definitely intriguing, and as an aunty and lover of my cousin’s ‘mum stories,’ too, I can’t get enough.

Anyway, the book is great, so read that, and her Substack is amazing and inspiring for any aspiring authors out there.

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

If you’d prefer not to receive emails from the ‘rom com’ reviews section, check out this past chapter here at the bottom to learn how to customise your subscriber experience. The video and instructions show you how to subscribe to and unsubscribe from each section.

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Any recommendations of what I should watch and read next? Keep in mind, I definitely find watching more difficult than reading. keeps recommending Off Campus, and Sophia Money-Coutts of also said on her Instagram how she can’t stop watching, but a whole season of something is a commitment, isn’t it?

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What I’ve just finished reading: Matt Haig’s The Midnight Train (which is its own kind of love story), Kristen Perrin’s How to Cheat Your Own Death (love all these books!), and Frederick Backman’s My Friends (omg so many sobs).

On my Kindle: About 58% finished with Writers & Lovers by Lily King. Very much savouring it.

In hardcover/print: A Fortune Most Fatal by Jessica Bull, a book my husband bought me for my birthday a year ago when we were in a bookshop in Cambridge (as a surprise), not knowing it was a sequel, so I bought and read the first book first and enjoyed it, but it took me a little while to get into it.

What’s up next on Audible: Phoebe Bergman’s Gonna Lose It by Brooke Averick, which seems to have blown up all over Instagram.

Book count for the year: 47 (not doing as well as previous years, but sometimes this is okay – but also there are so many brilliant things to read.)

Catch up on the previous rom-com review issue here:

Back to the date, I worried I’d not be able to keep up as he was so fit, but he made sure to walk slowly enough for me. I found it utterly charming that he’d stuffed children’s snacks into his pockets. Crisps, Freddos, juice boxes of Ribena. He wasn’t going to be the type to wine and dine me, but he was thoughtful.

In those early days, he’d ordered some American candy online for me. I was never a particular fan of lots of American candies (Turtles and Cookies and Cream Hershey’s all the way, though), but the gesture was touching. Same goes for the fact that I once said I liked lemon-scented stuff, and the next time I came over to shower, he’d bought me lemon-scented body wash.

He was and has always been good at the little things that matter in life, remembering those seemingly insignificant and random details. And those, I’ve found, are the things that make up life. The right kind of love. I’ve been with the people in the past who made grand gestures to impress me, but they didn’t stick around for the later moments that matter, the true deep emotional intimacy that develops over time.

During our early dates, Michael out-earned me as he had an actual job and he had tens of thousands in savings, which I didn’t know about at the time (why would I?), but I was still living on very little. He never once took me on a restaurant date, but he did take me on lots of picnics.

For these picnics, he’d load up on £3 meal deals (back when they did cost only £3 – now I think they are around a fiver and sometimes more) and little extras, and we’d go somewhere nice for the day to walk and have a picnic on our little picnic blanket. (For one of our wedding presents, my stepfather bought us a brand new roll-up picnic blanket and matching wine cooler bag.)

Michael didn’t declare our picnics to be ‘official’ picnics until the time we actually had a picnic basket at Ingleton Falls. However, I think we left the basket in the car and Micahel loaded up his rucksack with the picnic items and we climbed over onto a grassy verge in the middle of the river and it felt like we were quite alone in the world.

We even had a walking holiday in the Lake District one year, where we ate breakfast at our B&B and had a picnic lunch on our walks, rarely eating in restaurants, and I’ve learned a lot from Michael’s approach to life.

Some of those earliest, less financially secure times were some of our happiest because what we didn’t have in money, we had in time.

I was free whenever he had his day off in the week (as a Postman) and he would plan something lovely every time. Whether a walk and a picnic or a free trip to a museum or art gallery, he was always full of creative ideas for us to enjoy the day. I guess frugality has an art and science, but also a dash of love.

Recommendations this week

’s The Steelmaker’s Daughter. Subscribe to this publication now! Rush to catch up on the 33 chapters before the publication keeps going.

Told in beautiful and heartbreaking vignettes (each chapter about 5-8 minutes) of a little girl’s survival in 1980s South Korea through a tough childhood and to her later life in the US, thankfully, a happier chapter.

Each episode is gripping, beautifully written, and absolutely heartwrenching. I look forward to this memoir being published, as I couldn’t stop reading.

You won’t have read anything like this before.

The Steelmaker's Daughter

A Korean woman's memoir about surviving 1980s Korea through the early 2000s. Weekly episodes trace thirty years: domestic violence, gender inequality, poverty, the cost of being a woman. Stories of resilience, escape, and breaking generational cycles.

By Yuni Jung

Plus, my artist friend announced her new upcoming book based on her Substack and Instagram concept of Tell the Story of Your Home. If you always felt like ‘millennium’ grey and beige wasn’t for you, and minimalism from the internet didn’t quite fit your aesthetic, this is the book for you, finding a way to make your home an authentic reflection of you.

Find out how to pre-order here:

From Java with Love

Tell the Story of Your Home: the BOOK!!

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4 months ago · 30 likes · 15 comments · Java Ceridwen Bere

New sections: Millennial Dating and Rom Com Reviews

The first two posts are live: dating before smartphones and my musings on Office Romance, a TV show I discovered, and a book I read.

I didn’t send them via email as I didn’t want to clog up your inbox, but if you’d like to subscribe or unsubscribe from different sections, here’s a video of how to do it for the visual learners.

From the subsack.com homepage on your desktop (not sure if you can do this from the app?), click on the hamburger menu for ‘more’ in the bottom left corner. Go to ‘settings’ and scroll down until you see ‘subscriptions.’ Search for ‘Why We Met’ (esp if you subscribe to multiple, as it’ll be at the bottom of the list) and click on it.

You’ll see the ‘manage your subscription’ page. Under ‘notifications,’ you’ll see the sections with toggles. Turn off any toggles for sections you do not want to read. If the toggle is greyed out, you are NOT subscribed, and it’ll be pink if you want to subscribe to that section.

And if you want to unsubscribe from the lot (of course, I hope you don’t, but I won’t take it personally, unlike some of these breakups I’ve written about), then hit the big red ‘unsubscribe’ button. Thanks for being here.

Why We Met

DATING BEFORE SMARTPHONES

I met no fewer than four men at Starbucks in my mid-20s. I didn’t have a smartphone…

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4 months ago · 5 likes · 21 comments · Elaine R. Frieman

Why We Met

ROM COM REVIEWS: OFFICE ROMANCE, EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE, AND HEART THE LOVER

Welcome to my first issue of ‘rom com reviews’ where I review current films, TV shows, and books I’m consuming, generally featuring love and romance…

Read more

4 months ago · 3 likes · 6 comments · Elaine R. Frieman

Up next, that time Michael didn’t let me be a damsel in distress: receiving my shipment and the storage wars drama.

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If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

What’s your opinion on picnics and being taken on ‘inexpensive’ dates?

Leave a comment

I met no fewer than four men at Starbucks in my mid-20s. I didn’t have a smartphone.

Granted, I was living in a military town near Fort Benning, Georgia (USA).

Fort Benning was once mentioned in a Robert Ludlum book I read (maybe The Parsifal Mosaic), and it piqued my interest because back when my eldest uncle, Uncle Steve, was in the US Army and was in the 82nd Airborne Division, he used to practice his parachute jumps on the base. Of course, this was back in the 80s when his youngest daughter, Michelle, and I were merely babies.

I had a flip phone. Probably my red Motorola Razr, given to me by my Uncle Dave when he upgraded his flip phone. I’d wanted one when they came out, but my Mum, who bought me my first cell phone at age 18, didn’t want to shell out for the more expensive model. I wasn’t even allowed text messaging and preferred – like an absolute weirdo – to ring people. On. The. Phone. Like, phone calls. Now, I’m almost allergic.

I would only text when I’d get a pay-as-you-go SIM when visiting family in England and shortly realised how soon you ran out of texting and calling credit.

You young’uns out there (said in my best old lady voice) don’t know about the days when phone calls and texting were expensive, and you could only call your friends on landlines after a certain time.

When discussing the Social Media Ban in the UK with my niece Caroline the other day, she sounded in distress because I was informed that you (being teens) only have the phone numbers of your close friends. It’s just ‘weird’ to ask for people’s number, I was told.

Everyone else gets added to Snapchat.

Let me tell you, they do very inane things on Snapchat. One friend of hers sends her real-time GRWM (get ready with me) videos that my niece feels compelled to watch even though she doesn’t want the play-by-play. Another friend constantly messages her some variation of ‘What’s up’ or whatever is the Gen Alpha equivalent. It’s just constant photo swaps with emojis and messages across the screen. This is what passes as communication to them.

But I’m getting off track.

Practically every young man I met when dating in my uni and grad school years (2005-2011ish) I met in person on campus, at a party, or via friends of friends (i.e. they came on my radar via Facebook stalking).

I met The Air Traffic Controller, whom to date had seemed like the hottest man I’d ever encountered, at a party where I realised that I knew him from Facebook stalking, and I held onto his hand for far too long.

I did sign up to OkCupid once – the website version – and met a few men that way, but I always preferred that people were ‘vetted’ by people I knew first.

Online dating had been somewhat destigmatised by the time I tried it in the early 2010s, but even still, it didn’t feel ‘entirely safe’ in the way that smiling across the room at some guy at a party did.

I guess now people are considerably more online stalkable. They weren’t then. You didn’t know everything about them in thirty seconds flat.

Back then, we even took photos with our flip phones or, if you were like me, had an actual digital camera. How amazing was it when my camera got upgraded to a lovely Sony Cyber Shot 12 MP. TWELVE. WHOLE. MEGAPIXELS.

After nights out, I’d dutifully plug my memory stick into my Sony Vaio (I didn’t have the money for a MacBook back then – The MacBook Brigade were rich kids, but joke’s on them, their Microsoft Word files were always corrupted) and download the night’s pictures, seeing as I got progressively drunker.

I even took selfies of a sort before they were a thing. And then I’d find myself with my arm around people I couldn’tidentify. Blackout drunk Elaine was very friendly.

My friends eagerly awaited my documentation of the night, my witty Facebook album names, and silly captions. I think albums were limited to 60 photos back then.

Don’t you wish that Karen could stop uploading her 265 holiday snaps now, eh? Especially when we are just watching a bridge open, frame by excruciating frame. Reminds me of that time our old neighbour in Oldham, Lancashire, whom my Mum referred to as ‘Boring [Insert Name Here]’ came over to show us his Canada holiday video. True story.

He filmed something equally long and boring. Poor man. I do miss the days of physical photo albums, though.

I once met my gay bestie, Ian, at a party. I came armed with a bottle of horrible wine (so no drink spiking, even though I never knew anyone who had that done) and my camera. He nicknamed me ‘the collector’ (of people, friends, dates) because he said he revealed more about himself and knew more about me in the hour we chatted than he did about some of his best friends.

Honestly, I miss my attention span.

We weren’t glued to our phones because nothing much interesting happened on a flip phone.

I mean, I also couldn’t keep that many photos on there, so would have to delete some to make room for others. I always kept a picture of my cats on there and probably a lingerie selfie to send to The Red Haired Sex God in case I could entice him for a hook up. Very pathetic behaviour. No girl-bossing in the 2010s. No ‘know your worth-ing.’

At parties, we spent time chatting about ideas and whatever we learned in class and probably sounded to outsiders like pretentious t*atbags. But it’s a rite of passage for early-20-somethings, surely?

I remember having the attention span to read for hours, to chat for hours, to enjoy lying on the front lawn of campus, doing absolutely nothing.

Oh, the freedom that would give our brains and nervous systems now.

I’m not saying this past time was better because things were objectively not better in some ways (the media, consent convos, young people with psychologically aware language), but smartphones have a lot to answer for, and I’m sad that the youth will not experience life without these light-up boxes of addiction.

Heck, I’m sad that I’m now so addicted to my phone.

How many encounters will young people miss because they’re busy Snapchatting each other? Will they miss catching someone’s eye across the room, smiling, chatting, flirting? I’ll report back when my niece is interested in dating.

In the meantime, I’ll wax nostalgic.

QOTD: Tell me what it was like for you, dating in YOUR pre-smartphone era.

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

Subscribe now

If you’re interested in the people I met at Starbucks:

• Starbucks Guy #1: Captain Thor, the Mystery, the Heartbreaker

• Starbucks Guy #2: The Really Hot One

• Starbucks Guy #3: The Hot Tattooed Hispanic DILF

• Starbucks Guy #4: How I Met My Ex-Husband

Welcome to my first issue of ‘rom com reviews’ where I review current films, TV shows, and books I’m consuming, generally featuring love and romance.

I’ll warn you now that I’m the sort of person who (maybe annoyingly?) errs on the side of liking things. As an aspiring author on submission with my manuscript, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, to the Big 5 (thanks to my agent), I know how hard it is to create something – even something not to everyone’s tastes. Not everything has universal appeal. Not everything will be something I love, but if I know anything from reading Goodreads reviews, it’s that even something I adored and was entertained by (surely the goal of things?) other people will give some brutal takedown.

I feel like people who give bad energy into the world sometimes have sadness in their own lives, and they exert control by hating things. I’ve been there in my teens and early 20s, but middle-aged ‘elder’ millennial me at 39 is in a completely different energy field. But, hey, you do you as the young people say.

Office Romance by Brett Goldstein (on Netflix)

I loved Brett Goldstein as the grumpy footballer with the heart of gold in Ted Lasso. I’ve yet to watch the last season. Was it any good? I had no idea he could write films, and I feel like what’s been missing from cinema lately (even if it’s direct to streaming) is the classic 90-minute rom com.

So, even though some moments of this film were a little unhinged (the birth bit) and the ‘unrealistic’ ending bit – always the crazy dramatic scene – imagine if real corporate lives were like that? Hah! I’m inclined to think this was overall cute.

I think it may be due to lack of rom-com options, and I also liked the Devil Wears Prada reboot as well. (But I do wish Hollywood actresses didn’t have so much pressure to mess with their beautiful faces.)

I do, however, think that it’s a little creepy that Goldstein admitted in interviews he wouldn’t actually do the film with anyone other than J-Lo. Like I can imagine he had a poster of her as a teenager (11-year age gap) and he wanted to live out his fantasies. Maybe a tad creepy?

They seemed to have great chemistry in the film and interviews, to be fair.

Also, I suppose it’s no creepier than me hoping one day to cast James Norton (of Grantchester and other things) in the TV adaptation of my book as the lovely character of Ben. But equally, I don’t have a poster of him, and I’m not gunning to play his love interest (which in my novel is a Lebanese British influencer).

I made my husband watch Office Romance with me, and I think he was okay with it. We did both agree, though, that it was Betty Gilpin who stole the show.

I’d not seen her before, but she has cropped up in Widows Bay, which I have only agreed to watch with my husband if I can hide my eyes at the scary bits because I hate scary things.

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton (the TV version)

I read Dolly Alderton’s debut in November 2023, so I was definitely late to the Dolly party (I think it was published around 2018), and I just discovered the TV series was on Netflix. I didn’t even know they had made the TV series. I don’t often make the time to watch tele but apparently it came out in 2022, so that’s probably why it wasn’t on my radar as I hadn’t yet read the book. I don’t recall enough about the book – except that I LOVED it and then devoured every book Dolly had written after that – to know if the TV series is close to it, but two episodes in, it feels nostalgic for a lost time in my 20s.

I was the elder millennial going to uni from 2005 to 2012 (I was also doing my master’s and teaching undergrad as an adjunct prof, so don’t judge!), so even though the girls in the TV show are a tad younger than me, some of the scenarios definitely reminded me of me in that era. Girls are just so fun and feral. The Facebook stalking. The star-sigh compatibility. The love of cinema and drinking. First jobs and messing them up. I’m enjoying it for the nostalgia, and it’ll tie nicely into my new series on Millennial Dating.

Dolly just seems like a cool and chic person IRL. I’m sure I’d not be her cup of tea, but I’d like to imagine I was. Her life experience is very different to mine, having grown up in London and lived her 20s (and presumably her late 30s) there. And I grew up in Oldham and then Florida and then south Georgia. I’m two years older than her. But there is still something universal about that time.

What did you think of it?

Heart the Lover by Lily King

I devoured this in December 2025 in three days. This time I was only a few months late to the party as it was published in September 2025, but it was everywhere. I hadn’t heard of Lily King before this point but omg I think I still think about this story.

It destroyed me. So good. Worth all the hype.

The writing is gorgeous and it’s the kind of book I love as a reader and just would love to write like as a writer.

My whole Why We Met portion of my Substack is about all the people I dated and it made me nostalgic for the misses; however, I’m in my best place in life now with an amazing husband and her character had that too. It’s the nostalgia and sadness for the past but thankfulness for what led you to where you are now, even if it’s built on broken pieces of your heart.

It’s a deeply human book in that we aren’t all very good at telling people who we feel, what they mean to us, and that can have a domino effect on our lives.

Up next

I’m eagerly awaiting Kirsty Greenwood’s Romantic Hero. The Love of My Afterlife was epic, and she very much deserves all her newfound success as she was an indie author before she became so famous in the space. She’s a fellow Oldhamer, but I don’t personally know her (although I’m sure I wish I did).

I’m also looking forward to the next season of Margot’s Got Money Troubles. The book is always best (and my goodness, did I love this book – so unique), but Elle Fanning is just far too lovable. The TV show was great. I’ll talk about the TV show next (season one).

Anything else that should be on my radar?

Current reads and watches

Kindle: Lily King’s Writers & Lovers

Audible: David Nicholls’ Sweet Sorrow

Watching: Everything I Know About Love on Netflix (I generally watch TV shows very slowly as I prioritise reading and writing over that) and Widows Bay (with my husband)

If you love stories of romance, you might enjoy reading the story of how I met my husband – my very own rom com in reverse. Here is a great place to start. I have also written a book, THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT CLUB, longlisted for the 2025 Mslexia Novel Competition, currently on submission with the Big Five, hoping to find its home. You can read about that journey, here.

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