Recently, a friend told me about a man who’s been going through a really tough time. For years, he worked in health tech. He was the life of the party. His home was the place everyone gathered, and his phone was always ringing.

But over the past year, things have changed. He’s been unemployed, struggling financially, and dealing with challenges in his personal life. And the phone that used to ring constantly? It’s gone quiet. He doesn’t really have friends he spends time with anymore.

When I heard this, my heart sank.

It got me thinking about something I’ve been noticing more and more.

When did friendship become something we squeeze into whatever time we have left?

Friendship is self-care. And the science backs it up.

When we talk about self-care, we tend to think about things we do for ourselves. Meditation. Exercise. Eating well. Getting enough sleep. Maybe a massage or a long bath.

All important.

But what about friendship?

What about having someone you can call when everything feels like it’s falling apart? Someone who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it, make you laugh until your stomach hurts, or simply remind you that you’re not alone?

We don’t always think of spending time with friends as self-care. But perhaps we should.

The research is pretty compelling.

A major analysis published in the medical journal PLOS Medicine examined 148 studies involving more than 300,000 people and found that people with strong social relationships were more likely to live longer than those with weaker social connections. In other words, friendship and connection aren’t just good for our emotional well-being. They’re also associated with a longer life.

And in 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an entire advisory on the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in America, highlighting how essential social connection is to our mental and physical health.

Yet somehow, in our day-to-day lives, friendship often falls to the bottom of the priority list.

We make time for everything else.

Work meetings. Deadlines. Kids’ soccer games. Doctor’s appointments. Grocery shopping. Business trips. Our calendars are packed. And when someone asks, “How are you?” what’s one of the most common answers?

“Busy!”

Somewhere along the way, being busy became a badge of honor. And friendship became something we get around to when we have time.

We tell ourselves we’ll call that college friend next week. We’ll schedule dinner with that former colleague when things slow down. We’ll visit that friend across the country someday. But next week turns into next month. Next month turns into next year. And before we know it, years have passed.

I’ve certainly been guilty of this myself. I’ll think of someone I love and realize we haven’t spoken in ages. Not because anything happened between us. Not because we care about each other any less. Just because life happened. And I think our increasingly busy lives, combined with the way we’ve organized ourselves around work and the nuclear family, have made it even easier to lose touch.

When we were kids, friendships happened almost automatically. We saw our friends at school, in the neighborhood, on the playground. As adults, especially once careers, partners, and children enter the picture, friendships require a lot more effort.

They require intentionality.

Friendship matters at work, too.

And this isn’t just about our personal lives.

Think about how much of our waking lives we spend working. Some of my longest-lasting friendships started at work. I have friends I met nearly 20 years ago through my career who are still part of my life today. Those relationships have given me far more than professional connections. They’ve brought laughter, perspective, support, and genuine friendship.

And there’s a business case for connection, too.

Gallup’s research has found that employees who have a best friend at work are more likely to be engaged, get more done in less time, innovate, share ideas, and report positive workplace experiences.

Think about that for a moment.

We spend so much energy trying to become more productive at work. We invest in technology, tools, systems, and processes to help us perform better. Yet something as human as friendship is associated with better performance, too.

Of course, not every colleague needs to become a close friend. But having people at work who genuinely care about you, who have your back, and who you can laugh with can make an enormous difference. And those relationships deserve attention, just like the ones outside of work.

What if we treated friendship as a priority instead of an afterthought?

I have a friend who survived breast cancer. Coming through that experience gave her a renewed appreciation for the people in her life. Now, every year, she organizes a trip for a group of us who went to business school together.

We’re scattered across different cities. We have different careers, families, and responsibilities. Getting everyone together isn’t easy. But she makes it happen because she knows how precious that time is.

Another friend of mine lives in San Francisco’s Outer Sunset neighborhood, on the far western edge of the city near the Pacific Ocean. One of her closest friends lives across the bay in Oakland. For anyone familiar with Bay Area traffic, you know that getting between those two places, especially during rush hour, is no small undertaking.

They both have young kids, busy schedules, and plenty of reasons why getting together regularly would be difficult. So they came up with a solution: They meet for dinner the first Monday of every month, at a restaurant halfway between their homes, at a time when traffic isn’t terrible. It’s on the calendar. It’s a standing date. And they protect that time.

I love that.

They didn’t wait for life to become less busy. They made friendship part of their lives as they are.

And it got me thinking about the little things I try to do to maintain my own friendships.

1. Send a “love tap.”

When someone crosses my mind, I try to reach out right then. Sometimes it’s just a text saying, “Hey! Thinking of you!” Sometimes it’s a funny photo or something that reminded me of them. I call these little messages “love taps.”

They take less than a minute, but they let someone know they’re loved and remembered. And sometimes, that little message turns into a much longer conversation.

2. Put friendship on the calendar.

I’ve learned that saying “We should catch up sometime!” usually doesn’t get us very far. So I try to actually schedule the call, the dinner, or the visit. Sometimes that means planning a trip months or even a year in advance. Sometimes it’s simply finding 30 minutes for a phone call.

The point is to make it real.

3. Combine friendship with things you’re already doing.

Going for a walk? Invite a friend. Heading to a workout class? See if someone wants to join you. I love rock climbing, so sometimes that’s how I spend time with friends. I also know families who organize annual camping trips together, bringing their kids along.

Friendship doesn’t always require finding a whole new block of time. Sometimes it’s about sharing the time you’ve already set aside for something else.

4. Give yourself — and your friends — some grace.

This one is important.

Life happens.

Sometimes a year goes by without talking to someone you love. And you know what? That’s okay.

Some of my favorite friendships are the ones where we can go months without talking, and when we finally reconnect, it feels like no time has passed.

There’s no guilt. No resentment. No “Why haven’t you called me?”

Just love.

We all have seasons when we’re overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply trying to keep our heads above water. So if someone you care about hasn’t reached out in a while, don’t assume they don’t care. And if you’re the one who hasn’t called, don’t beat yourself up.

Just reach out.

Three people. That’s all I’m asking.

I want to leave you with a little challenge. Think of three people you care about who you haven’t been making enough time for lately.

Maybe it’s a college friend who lives across the country. Maybe it’s a former colleague who used to make you laugh every day. Maybe it’s someone who lives 20 minutes away, but somehow you haven’t seen them in six months.

Write down their names.

And then reach out.

Not just to say, “We should catch up soon.”

Actually put something on the calendar. A phone call. A walk. Dinner. Whatever works for both of you.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to happen.

Because when life gets hard — and at some point, it does for all of us — the people we love are often the ones who help us get through it. And even when life is wonderful, those are the people who make it more joyful.

We make time for what matters. Let’s make sure the people who matter are on that list.

What's one thing you've done to make more room for friendship in your life? I'd love to hear what's worked for you in the comments.

**************

Zee Clarke is a business leader, Harvard MBA, and author who has spent more than 20 years building businesses, launching products, and leading teams at Fortune 500 companies and Silicon Valley tech startups. Passionate about helping people thrive at work and in life, she brings together her experience in business leadership and well-being to explore what it means to live and work with greater intention, connection, and joy. She’s the author of Black People Breathe (Penguin Random House), and her work has been featured in Forbes, Fortune, CNBC, and Fast Company.

After speaking with HR leaders across industries, a clear pattern emerged:

The companies making real progress on wellbeing aren’t adding more benefits.
They’re changing how work actually happens.

Over the past few years, organizations have invested heavily in employee wellbeing.

Meditation apps.
EAPs.
Wellness stipends.
Monthly workshops.

And to be clear—these things aren’t bad. Many are helpful.

But they often don’t work in the way leaders hope they will.

Not because employees don’t care.
Not because the tools are ineffective.

But because they’re being asked to solve the wrong problem.

The uncomfortable truth

If the way work is structured is depleting people…

No amount of programming will fix that.

You can’t meditate your way out of:

• unclear priorities

• constant context switching

• unrealistic workloads

• or a manager who doesn’t create psychological safety

This is the pattern I heard again and again in conversations with HR leaders.

One leader shared that while their company introduced tools like Calm and Headspace to support employee wellbeing, real change during the workday didn’t come from the apps.

It came from leader-modeled habits—like daily huddles that included a moment of reflection, creating space for people to actually check in and feel supported.

Another described how something as simple as a 10-minute “win the day” huddle and a weekly team lunch—intentionally designed to “hold space”—significantly improved team connection and engagement.

Not a program.
A practice.

What actually drives change:

When you zoom out, the most effective approaches weren’t programmatic—they were behavioral and relational.

A few themes showed up consistently:

1. Leadership sets the tone (whether intentionally or not)
Wellbeing efforts stick when leaders model them—not when they’re outsourced.

2. Middle managers are the multiplier
One leader described their biggest shift as investing in relationships with middle managers—helping them feel supported so they could better support their teams.

This is where culture actually lives.

3. Simple rituals outperform complex programs
Daily check-ins. Weekly team space. Moments of pause built into the day.

These small shifts change how people experience work in real time.

4. Clarity is a wellbeing strategy
As one HR leader put it: wellbeing isn’t a perk—it’s a system outcome.

And one of the most overlooked drivers of that system?

Clarity on what matters—and what doesn’t.

A more useful way to think about workplace wellbeing:

Most organizations are over-investing in one layer of the problem.

Here’s a simpler way to frame it:

Layer 1: Programs
Apps, workshops, benefits

Layer 2: Practices
Daily habits, team rituals, how people reset and communicate

Layer 3: Systems
Leadership behavior, workload design, expectations, priorities

Most companies focus on Layer 1.

But real change happens in Layers 2 and 3.

Where wellbeing workshops actually fit

I say this as someone who leads these sessions:

A single workshop won’t change your culture.

But I’ve also seen how the right session—paired with leadership behavior and simple, repeatable practices—can shift how a team operates.

The goal isn’t to inspire people for an hour.

It’s to give them tools they can actually use in the middle of a workday—and create the conditions where those tools are supported.

So what does this mean for leaders?

If you’re thinking about wellbeing—especially right now—you don’t need to do more.

You need to look at what’s already happening.

How are meetings run?
What behaviors are being modeled?
Where is there unnecessary friction or lack of clarity?
Do managers have the support they need to support others?

Because employees don’t experience “wellbeing programs.”

They experience their day-to-day work.

As many organizations think about how to support their teams heading into May, this might be the more useful question:

Not “What should we offer?”

But:

“What about how we work is making it harder for people to feel well?”

This is the work I’ve been increasingly focused on—supporting teams through both moments of reset and the systems that make those shifts sustainable.

Curious what others are seeing—what’s actually made a difference in your organization?

Take a look at your calendar for the year ahead.

You probably already see meetings, deadlines, work trips, family obligations, kids’ activities, conferences, vacations, and social plans. The calendar fills itself quickly.

But here’s the real question:

Did you put rest on your calendar?

Not vacation.
Not sleep.
Not “I’ll rest when things calm down.”

I mean intentional, protected rest — the kind that allows your nervous system, brain, and body to actually recover.

Because if it’s not on the calendar, it has a much lower chance of happening.

We Know This… And Still Don’t Do It

Most of us intellectually understand that rest is important.

And yet:

• We come back from vacations more exhausted than when we left

• We fill our “days off” with errands, logistics, and caretaking

• We push through fatigue until our bodies force us to stop

This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a cultural one.

But the consequences of not resting are real:

• You get sick more often

• Creativity and problem-solving decline

• Focus and memory suffer

• Irritability increases (hello snapping at coworkers or loved ones)

• Burnout creeps in quietly, then all at once

From a neuroscience perspective, your brain is constantly processing information — emails, conversations, decisions, notifications. Without regular breaks, the brain’s ability to regulate emotion, think creatively, and sustain attention decreases.

Rest isn’t a luxury.
It’s a requirement for functioning well.

What I Mean by “Rest”

Yes, sleep matters. Please sleep.

But what I’m talking about here is intentional rest while you’re awake.

Rest is anything that:

• Lowers cognitive load

• Signals safety to your nervous system

• Allows your mind to soften instead of push

And it looks different for everyone.

Below are four ways to intentionally build rest into 2026. The key is to choose what resonates and put it on your calendar more than once.

1. Schedule a Social Media + News Break

We all know social media can be addictive.
We all know the news can be heavy.

And yet, we rarely step away long enough to notice how much it affects us.

I invite you to try 24 hours.

One full day:

• No social media

• No news

• Phone use only for essentials

Notice what happens. You might:

• Feel more present with loved ones

• Journal or reflect without trying

• Have insights that don’t surface when your brain is constantly stimulated

These moments don’t appear out of nowhere. They need space.

Put it on the calendar and treat it like an important appointment.

2. Take a True Rest & Restore Day (Not an “Errands in Disguise” Day)

This is a full day with nothing scheduled with other people.

A Rest & Restore Day is exactly what it sounds like: a day intentionally designed to help your body and nervous system recover.

This is not:

• The day you squeeze in a hard workout

• The day you run errands or “catch up”

• The day you push through fatigue because you finally “have the time”

This is:

• A day where naps are allowed

• A day where you eat when you’re hungry

• A day where your phone is on Do Not Disturb

• A day with unstructured time — space for your mind to wander and your body to soften

Try scheduling one once a month and see what shifts.

3. Experience Yoga Nidra (Deep Rest Without Sleeping)

If you hear “yoga” and think, that’s not for me, stay with me.

Yoga Nidra translates to “yogic sleep,” but it’s really a guided meditation that brings your body into deep, restorative rest.

During Yoga Nidra:

• Brain waves slow into alpha and theta states. — the same states your brain enters right before sleep and during deep relaxation, when your body can actually recover.

• Stress hormones decrease

• The body shifts into repair and regeneration

When I trained in India, I learned that one hour of Yoga Nidra can offer the restorative benefits of several hours of deep rest.

Lately, I’ve been returning to 20–30 minute Yoga Nidra practices from Tracee Stanley’s Radiant Rest work.

👉 Listen here or on SoundCloud

If you’re tired but wired, overwhelmed, or struggling to truly relax, this is a beautiful place to start.

4. Build Micro-Rest Into Your Workday

Rest doesn’t only belong on weekends.

Research shows that short, regular breaks improve focus, mood, memory, and productivity — especially for knowledge workers.

Try:

• A 10–15 minute walk outside for sunlight

• Gentle stretching at your desk

• A short breathing practice between meetings

These small pauses help your brain reset instead of running on fumes all day.

Put them on your calendar like meetings — because they matter just as much.

A Gentle Challenge for 2026

Before the year fills itself up, I invite you to do this:

1. Choose one type of rest from this list.

2. Decide how often it belongs in your life — daily, weekly, or monthly.

3. Then protect it like you would an important meeting.

You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You just need to stop leaving rest to chance.

Your creativity, clarity, health, and relationships will thank you.

And so will future you.

Just over a month before D’Angelo passed at age 51 from cancer, we lost my dear friend Anwar Floyd-Pruitt at age 49, also to cancer. Black men have the highest cancer death rate according to the National Institutes of Health. We don’t talk about it that much though.

My friend died less than 9 months after his diagnosis. Can you imagine? One day, you wake up, and you find out this sort of news?

Times like these make me really pause, and appreciate the little things.

We have to be intentional about how we spend our time here.

We have to be intentional about the impact that we have on those with whom we interact.

Every moment counts.

Every moment matters.

As a part of my grieving process, I need to be witnessed in honoring his life. So, thank you in advance, for listening/reading as I share the biggest lessons I learned from my dear friend Anwar. May his spirit live on, as I share these messages with you.

#1: Fearlessly follow your passion.

We went to Harvard together. While he started as a psychology major, he really wanted to pursue art. He admitted that he didn’t have much art background, but he just wanted to dive in fully. He took all the classes. He learned all the techniques. His eyes were so bright in this artistic journey! And when he told me he was going to get a second undergraduate degree in art at the University of Wisconsin, the Type A, follow the rules, traditional path voice in my head said, “you’re gonna go do WHAT?”…but I have always respected him going deep into what he loves. And he did it, he got his MFA, AND he became a curator --the head of contemporary art at the Museum of Wisconsin Art. The man did the thing! The thing he loved! And you know what? He died happy. His family said he was laughing even in his final days. When it comes to be your time, or my time, let’s ask ourselves, “How do I want to be and feel when I look back at my life and my choices?”

#2: Laughter is a medicine that heals.

Anyone ever been to an amateur standup comedy night? When its good, it’s good. But when it’s bad? It can be painfully bad! And to have the courage to stand up there and be willing to risk it? This man wanted to make you and me and everybody laugh! His goal was to bring you joy! And he knew, that your joy might be different than my joy, but he was willing to take the risk and find out. Stand-up night after stand-up night. And that, I admire from the deepest place in my soul. So he laughed a lot. And he wanted you to laugh a lot. In this way, his way, he helped each of us heal. That was his love language. My takeaway is to be more intentional about incorporating more laughter into my life. For me that looks like spending more time with people who make me laugh, just by being themselves. What might that look like for you?

#3: Real impact happens when we cross boundaries.

Anwar loved people, and he didn’t care if you were a janitor or a CEO, he wanted to connect with you. He would bring a smile to your face, just like that. That was his magic. That connection showed up in person, but also through his art. Whether it was a collection he curated or work by his hand directly, his work was integrated throughout the soul of Milwaukee. From art galleries in luxury hotels to murals in the streets, to the walls of shopping malls, Anwar knew that there is something that connects us all regardless of where we come from. He wanted to connect with us on that level! As I say goodbye to Anwar, I ask myself and I ask you to reflect also, “What worlds am I being called to engage with? Maybe it’s a different geography, socioeconomic status, culture, or interests? Where have I been limiting myself?

#4: Your heart can always be re-opened, even after you close it.

When I met Anwar, I was 19, and my heart had already deeply been broken. Sparing you the details, I’ll just say that I was not so open to love. Self-protection as a form of self-love perhaps. Anwar’s kindness and open heart allowed my heart to re-open. I had decided that it wasn’t safe out there, and Anwar changed my mind. What a gift to learn at such a young age that wounds do heal, and that hearts can re-open once again. There are many places where my heart is still a little closed, old wounds from my childhood, holding on to that thing that person said or did, that justifies why I only do this or I stay away from that. I recently started singing, like using my voice out loud, for the first time since 6th grade when someone told me I couldn’t sing and I believed them. I wonder, “In what areas have I closed my heart? And might it be time to re-open it, just a little?”

Final Note

It would give me the greatest joy if you were to join me in honoring my dear friend, Anwar Floyd-Pruitt’s life, by integrating these small but mighty nuggets into your life. It’s easy to be too busy, but we all have the opportunity right now, to take a deep breath and, “Begin Again.” And through you being the best version of you, may his spirit live on. Àṣẹ!

When I was a little girl, I loved to play outside. But if I came home with dirt on my feet or mud on my clothes, I got in trouble. So as I got older, the idea of pressing my bare feet into the ground felt… almost wrong.

And yet, what I once thought of as “messy” may actually be medicine.

What Is Earthing?

Earthing is the practice of physically connecting your body to the Earth’s natural surface — barefoot on grass, sand, or soil. The idea is that the Earth carries a subtle electrical charge, and direct contact allows our bodies to absorb those electrons.

Why does that matter? When we’re injured or under stress, white blood cells release reactive oxygen species to help with healing. But if there aren’t enough electrons available, those molecules can steal electrons from healthy cells instead — leaving us in a constant state of oxidative stress and inflammation. Earthing helps restore the balance by literally giving us back what we’re missing.

And it doesn’t have to be just your feet. You can lie down on the ground, place your hands directly on the soil, or even sit with your back against a tree. Any skin-to-earth contact allows this exchange to happen.

The Science Behind It

This isn’t just a wellness fad. Peer-reviewed medical research shows that earthing has measurable effects on the body:

• Reduces inflammation. Chronic inflammation is at the root of many conditions: heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, and fatigue. Grounding transfers free electrons into the body, helping neutralize oxidative stress.

• Relieves pain. Many studies report significant reductions in everyday pain and stiffness.

• Lowers stress. Grounding calms the nervous system, reducing cortisol and shifting the body from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest.

• Improves sleep. From adults with insomnia to babies with colic, grounding helps regulate rest cycles.

• Helps with PMS symptoms. Some women report less discomfort and more stable mood when grounded regularly.

How It Feels

Science aside, the real magic is how it feels. At a recent retreat I led, someone described it perfectly:

“When I stood barefoot on the earth, it was like the tension I’d been holding in my chest just melted into the ground. I felt lighter — like I was finally exhaling after holding my breath for years.”

That sense of calm, spaciousness, and connection is something many of us are missing in our fast-paced lives.

Commercial Products: Helpful or Hype?

If you Google “earthing,” you’ll see mats, sheets, and sandals marketed as substitutes for stepping outside barefoot.

Pros:

• Convenient for people in cities or colder climates.

• Some studies suggest they can deliver similar benefits.

Cons:

• They can be expensive.

• They may pick up “dirty electricity” from indoor wiring, which can reduce or even reverse the intended benefits.

• They keep us indoors, disconnected from nature.

My recommendation: If you can, choose the real thing. Step outside, barefoot on the grass, even for just 10 minutes. Or simply place your hands on the earth, or lie back on the ground. There’s no substitute for fresh air, natural light, and direct connection with nature. But if you’re in a place where that’s not possible year-round, some products may be worth exploring with caution.

How to Start

1. Find a safe patch of ground — grass, sand, or soil (avoid areas with pesticides or sharp debris).

2. Remove your shoes and stand, walk, or sit barefoot. Or, simply place your hands on the ground or lie down if that feels more comfortable.

3. Breathe deeply while you do it. Here’s a breathing practice I recommend — try it while grounding to amplify the benefits.

4. Notice how you feel — calmer, more grounded, or simply refreshed.

Start with 5–10 minutes and see how your body responds.

The Bigger Picture

So much of modern life keeps us insulated — literally, through rubber-soled shoes and high-rise buildings — and emotionally, through constant screen time and stress. Earthing is a simple reminder that healing doesn’t always require more effort, technology, or money. Sometimes, it’s as easy as getting your feet dirty.

Maybe the very thing I was told to avoid as a child is exactly what I needed all along.

✨ Your Turn: When was the last time you walked barefoot, touched the earth with your hands, or lay down on the grass? Try it today — and notice what shifts.

In this video, I’ll guide you through one simple breathing practice to calm your nervous system, steady your presence, and help you show up grounded — no matter how tough the moment.

💬 I’d love to hear from you: What’s your go-to strategy for navigating tough conversations?

To support you, I’ve created the Self-Care in Action Toolkit — a one-page resource with guided practices you can use anytime you need to reset and recharge:

👉 Download the Self-Care in Action Toolkit

Keep Your Self-Care Going 🌱

Here are a few ways to stay grounded, energized, and focused as you move forward::

• 🌴 Schedule your rest: Join us for the Barbados Rejuvenation Retreat for Women of Color (March 2026).

• 💼 Support Your Team: Bring my corporate workshops to your company — Breathwork@Work, Women@Work, and Black@Work.

• 📖 Go Deeper: Explore my book, Black People Breathe.

• 🌐 Stay Connected: LinkedIn | Instagram | TikTok | YouTube

Stay in Touch

Should you have any questions or want to explore ways I can support you or your team, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Until next time,
Zee

Thank you to everyone who’s reached out since I first shared the Barbados Rejuvenation Retreat. I wanted to make sure you knew: early bird pricing ends tomorrow. 🌸

This retreat, co-hosted with Michelle Ifill at La Maison Michelle — an Essence Travel Award–winning, Black-owned luxury villa — was created with deep intention for women of color to slow down, restore their energy, and return home renewed.

In case you missed it, here’s a short video that shares more about the retreat.

And if this isn’t for you personally, I’d be so grateful if you’d consider passing it along to someone in your life who might need it. Sometimes sharing is the spark that helps someone give themselves permission to rest.

📅 March 4–9, 2026
🌸 Early bird pricing ends tomorrow, September 15
👉 Learn more: https://www.zeeclarke.com/barbados-retreat

I hope you’ll give yourself — or someone you care about — the gift of slowing down.

With gratitude,
Zee 🌴

Doing nothing. Just the phrase can feel uncomfortable. In a culture that rewards busyness and productivity, empty space is often dismissed as laziness. But science—and life—show us the opposite: those pauses we avoid may be the key to creativity, resilience, and energy.

My Story: From Always Doing to Learning to Pause

Growing up, I was the child with the packed schedule. Violin lessons, ballet, swimming—my days were filled with extracurriculars. In high school, I was captain of the debate team, editor of the school newspaper, concertmaster of the orchestra, and of course, studying hard to keep straight As.

The result? I never had any free time. And in the rare moments I did, it felt wrong—like I was wasting time. Guilt would creep in, whispering that I should be doing something “productive.” That belief followed me into adulthood, where the idea that “time is money” was always in the back of my mind.

I still remember studying abroad in Spain and learning about the siesta. Wait—you mean you stop in the middle of the day for a few hours and… do nothing? At the time, I couldn’t comprehend it. And yet, later in life, I came to realize how deeply nourishing that practice truly is.

Why Doing Nothing Works

Neuroscience confirms what many cultures have long known: when we allow the brain to rest, we strengthen creativity, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. The “default mode network”—the brain system activated during downtime—helps us process emotions, make meaning of our experiences, and spark new ideas.

In other words, empty time is not wasted time. It’s essential. Research shows that pausing improves memory, boosts resilience, and replenishes the energy needed to handle life’s challenges. Think of it like recharging your phone—you wouldn’t expect your battery to last forever without plugging it in.

Three Simple Ways to Practice “Doing Nothing”

If doing nothing feels foreign—or even uncomfortable—here are a few simple ways to ease into it:

1. A 10-Minute Daydream
We were taught that daydreaming is a waste of time—something you get scolded for in elementary school. Yet research shows the opposite: when our minds wander, we strengthen creativity, problem-solving, and emotional processing. So set a timer for ten minutes, stare out the window, and let your thoughts drift without judgment.

2. An Unstructured Morning or Afternoon
If you can, try blocking off a morning or afternoon with no plans at all. No meetings, no to-do list, no expectations. Give yourself permission to wake up and let the day unfold however it wants. You might end up journaling, napping, walking, or simply resting. That openness itself is restorative.

3. A Rest-Focused Getaway
Sometimes the deepest reset comes when we leave our usual environment. A long weekend or short trip with no agenda can help reconnect you with yourself. And if you’re craving community around this practice, I’ve created the Barbados Rejuvenation Retreat for Women of Color—a sanctuary with ocean views, yoga, sound baths, and massages designed to help women rest without guilt. If you’re not a woman of color but know someone who could benefit, please pass the invitation along.

Final Thought

If doing nothing has always felt impossible, consider this your reminder: pausing is not a luxury, it’s your birthright. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do—for yourself, your health, and your creativity—is absolutely nothing.

I know this community is beautifully diverse, and I’m so grateful you’re here. From time to time, I’ll share offerings created specifically for women of color, like the retreat below. Even if this isn’t for you personally, I invite you to read on and maybe share it with someone in your life who might deeply benefit.

Take a deep breath and imagine this: warm ocean breezes, turquoise waters, and six days dedicated entirely to your rest and renewal.

This March, I’m hosting a Barbados Rejuvenation Retreat, a space designed with deep intention for women of color who are ready to slow down, restore their energy, and flow through 2026 feeling grounded and replenished.

✨ What’s included:

• Daily oceanfront yoga, grounding breathwork & soul-stirring sound baths to rejuvenate your spirit

• Spa treatments to melt away tension

• A private chef–prepared menu with fresh, local ingredients

• A sunset catamaran cruise with dinner and ocean breezes

• Plenty of free time just to be—whether that’s reading, journaling, napping, or simply existing in stillness

💫 Important update: The early bird deadline has been extended — but only until September 15. If you’ve been considering it, this is your chance to reserve your spot at the best rate and get a 1-1 coaching session with me so you can begin your self-care journey before the trip begins!

This retreat isn’t just a getaway—it’s an intentional pause, a chance to exhale fully, surrounded by beauty, care, and community.

📅 When: March 4-9, 2026
🌺 Early Bird Pricing ends September 15
👉 Learn More: https://www.zeeclarke.com/barbados-retreat

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is give yourself permission to pause.

Hi, I’m Zee Clarke — Harvard MBA turned mindfulness teacher, and author of Black People Breathe. I help people reduce stress, build resilience, and reclaim their energy through breathwork, mindfulness, and practical self-care.

I started The Vitality Journal as a place to share tools and inspiration to help you feel grounded, balanced, and alive — even when life feels overwhelming. Here you’ll find:

• Simple breathing practices you can use anytime, anywhere

• Self-care ideas that fit into busy days

• Stories and reflections on resilience and wellbeing

• Occasional deeper dives into mental health, mindfulness, and community care

Whether you have two minutes or twenty, my goal is to give you something you can put into practice right away to support yourself — in your work, your relationships, and your everyday life.

If you’d like these posts delivered straight to your inbox, you can subscribe here:

The Vitality Journal with Zee Clarke

Small but powerful practices to release stress and bring more grounding, balance, and vitality into your day.

You don’t have to wait for life to slow down to feel better. Let’s start right here, right now.

During a recent workshop I led on burnout and resilience, someone raised their hand and said:

“Not all of us can just take a sabbatical and fly to India.”

And she’s absolutely right. The room laughed—but it was that knowing kind of laugh. The kind that says, “Whew, I wish.”

For context: A few years ago, I actually did take that sabbatical. I left my corporate job, traveled to India, and studied holistic healing practices that transformed my relationship with rest and resilience. I had never felt better in my entire life!

But I know most people can’t just walk away from their jobs or responsibilities. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to settle for burnout. It just means we have to redefine what rest can look like—right here, right now.

Real-World Rest: Small But Powerful Practices

Here are a few creative ways people in my community are reclaiming rest, even in the midst of real life:

🛏️ The local hotel getaway. A friend of mine is a mom with young kids. Once a quarter, she books a hotel within driving distance for a solo weekend. She reads. She sleeps. She gets a massage. She’s close enough in case of emergency, but far enough to reset her nervous system.

📋 The “I feel restored when…” list. Make a list of things that actually restore you—long baths, walking in nature, laughing with friends, sitting in sunshine, turning off your phone. Then post it somewhere visible. That way, when you’re tired or overwhelmed, you don’t have to think. You just pick something.

🧘🏽♀️ Mini pauses throughout the day. You don’t need an hour to feel a shift. Even a 2-minute breathing break can ground you, reset your energy, and regulate your nervous system. One deep exhale can be a portal back to presence.

These micro-moments of rest matter. But sometimes, the body and spirit need more.

When You’re Ready to Go Deeper: Why Retreats Are Radical Rest

There’s a reason retreats are powerful. Unlike vacations—which can be jam-packed and exhausting—retreats are designed for healing. They offer structure, support, intention, and often, community.

Some retreats are silent. Some focus on yoga, or meditation, or creativity. Some are spiritual. Others are playful. Some are held in local centers, others in beautiful destinations around the world.

But at the heart of every retreat is a simple truth:

You deserve time and space to rest, reconnect, and come home to yourself.

If you’ve been curious about what a retreat actually is, here are a few places to explore:

• Retreat Guru

• BookRetreats

And if you’re a woman of color who’s been carrying too much for too long… I invite you to join me this March in Barbados.

It’s called the Rejuvenation Retreat–a luxury, soul-nourishing experience where we’ll rest, breathe, reconnect with joy, and be held in sisterhood in a stunning Black-owned villa overlooking the Caribbean Sea. Together, we’ll melt into soothing massages, flow through gentle yoga, sink into healing sound baths, and set sail on a sunset cruise—each moment designed to replenish your mind, body, and soul.

🌺 Learn more here.

Rest Isn’t a Reward. It’s a Requirement.

You don’t need to earn your rest by hitting a breaking point. You don’t have to fly across the world to find peace (though you’re welcome to 😉). You just need to start listening to your body.

What would it look like to rest this week? Not crash… but truly restore?

You deserve that.

Let’s be real—summer is supposed to be energizing, right? Longer days, more sunshine, maybe even some vacation time.

But for many people I work with, summer feels… off. Exhaustion. Brain fog. Low motivation. You’re not alone.

Whether it’s the heat, the disrupted routines, or just life in general, here are 4 quick, effective practices to help you get your energy back—no caffeine required.

1. 🔥 Try Bellows Breath

If your brain feels foggy or you’re dragging through the afternoon, this breathing practice is like a shot of espresso—for your nervous system.

How to do it:

• Sit tall or stand with your spine straight.

• Make loose fists and bring them to your shoulders, elbows bent.

• Take a fast, strong, audible inhale through your nose as you sweep your arms straight up overhead.

• Follow immediately with a fast, strong, audible exhale through your nose as you bring your fists back down to your shoulders.

• Keep the movement powerful and rhythmic—like you’re pumping energy up and out.

• Repeat 10–20 cycles, then pause, breathe normally, and notice how you feel.

Why it works: It boosts circulation, energizes your brain, and activates your sympathetic nervous system. (Translation: it wakes you up.)

2. 🌀 Shake It Off (Literally)

Sometimes the energy is there—it’s just stuck. Shaking helps release physical and emotional tension in minutes.

How to do it:

• Stand up

• Start gently bouncing your knees

• Let your arms, shoulders, and hips move

• Shake your body for 1–2 minutes to music or silence

• Then pause, breathe, and notice how you feel

Why it works: It’s a somatic reset that gets your energy flowing again—especially after sitting for hours.

3. ❄️ Splash Cold Water on Your Face

This one’s so simple, most people underestimate it. But trust me—it works.

How to do it:

• Splash cold water on your face

• Or hold a cool, damp cloth on your cheeks and forehead

• Bonus: Try a quick face dunk in a bowl of cold water

Why it works: It stimulates your vagus nerve, increases alertness, and gives your nervous system a jolt—in a good way.

4. 🌙 Audit Your Sleep to Boost Tomorrow’s Energy

Energy doesn’t start in the morning—it starts the night before.

Ask yourself:

• Are screens keeping me up later than I’d like?

• Is my room dark and cool enough for deep rest?

• Do I wind down or go straight from work to bed?

Try this tonight:

• Shut off screens 60 minutes before bed

• Do 5 minutes of slow, deep breathing (4-7-8 breathing works great)

• Keep a consistent bedtime—even on weekends

Why it works: Quality sleep is your energy insurance. Don’t overlook it.

🌟 Final Thought

Your energy is sacred—and it’s not something you need to “push through” to find. You can reset it, restore it, and reclaim it—in just a few minutes a day.

Which one of these will you try first?

👇 Drop a comment and let me know how you're getting your energy back this summer.

Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom — a recognition of the day in 1865 when the remaining 250,000 enslaved people in Galveston, Texas, were finally informed of their emancipation, more than two years after the Emancipation Proclamation. It’s a time to honor our ancestors, celebrate our resilience, and reflect on how we define freedom today.

But let’s be real: it’s hard to feel free when our newsfeeds are filled with stories that tell us otherwise. Freedom of speech, freedom to protest, freedom to exist safely in our bodies — all of these are under constant threat. And if you’re feeling heavy, exhausted, or even hopeless, you’re not alone.

This year has been a lot. From the emotional roller coaster of economic uncertainty to the rise of authoritarian rhetoric, ongoing violence, and the pressure to “keep going” no matter what — our nervous systems are fried. On top of all that, we still have jobs, bills, families, and responsibilities.

But here’s the truth: letting ourselves be consumed by systems we didn’t create is not liberation.

So on Juneteenth, I want to offer you another kind of freedom — the freedom to rest. Not just rest as in taking a nap (though yes, please do that too!), but rest as a radical act of healing, reflection, and reclamation. Because they can’t take this kind of freedom away. This is inner freedom: the kind that allows us to reclaim our peace, our worth, and our joy, no matter what’s happening around us.

If you're feeling burnt out, stretched thin, or simply in need of a moment to breathe, I invite you to be intentional about rest.

5 Restorative Ways to Honor Juneteenth Through Rest

1. Unplug from the Noise

Take a break from the headlines. Give yourself permission to turn off the news, log out of social media, and step away from the noise. Silence can be a sanctuary — a place to reconnect with your own thoughts, feelings, and truths.

2. Ground Yourself in Nature

Whether it's a walk in the park, sitting under a tree, or just feeling the sun on your skin — nature reminds us of our connection to something bigger. It’s a powerful place to reflect, release, and reset.

3. Take a Midday Nap (Without Guilt)

Our bodies carry generational exhaustion. Rest is not laziness — it’s medicine. Give yourself permission to lie down, close your eyes, and let your body restore itself. You don’t need to earn your rest.

4. Practice Breathwork or Meditation

Even 5 minutes of mindful breathing can help regulate your nervous system. Try a simple practice like box breathing or a body scan to calm your mind and return to your center.

5. Journal About What Freedom Means to You

Freedom looks different for everyone. Take time to write about what it means to you — not just politically, but emotionally, spiritually, and personally. Where do you feel free? Where do you feel constrained? And what small shift could bring you more ease?

Juneteenth is about liberation — and liberation starts within.

Rest is not just a luxury. It’s a right. And it’s a revolutionary way to honor those who came before us, those fighting for freedom now, and your own well-being in the process.

So today, let your rest be your resistance. Let your rest be your reclamation.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know I need therapy… but I just can’t deal with it right now,” you’re not alone.

Maybe you’ve tried to find a therapist but couldn’t get on someone’s calendar for months. Maybe your insurance is a nightmare. Maybe you’re so exhausted from keeping everything together that the idea of asking for help feels like one more thing on your to-do list.

This is where so many people are—not okay, but also not sure where to turn. And during Mental Health Awareness Month in May, it’s time we talked about the messy middle. The space between knowing you need support and actually getting it.

Let’s start there.

🔍 What Do You Really Need Support With Right Now?

It’s easy to say “I need therapy”—but what does your nervous system, your heart, or your life actually need most right now?

Try asking yourself:

• What feels the heaviest lately?

• Is it emotional (grief, anxiety, numbness)?

• Is it situational (burnout, work stress, caregiving pressure)?

• Is it physical (tension, exhaustion, poor sleep)?

• Is it spiritual (feeling lost, disconnected, or empty)?

You don’t need a diagnosis to start healing. You just need a little clarity about what’s weighing on you most.

🧘🏾♀️ Get Back in Your Body

When life feels overwhelming, we often disconnect from the body. But coming back into the body is one of the fastest ways to feel grounded and safe again.

Here are a few practices to try:

• Box Breathing (4-4-4-4): Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat for a few minutes. It’s a nervous system reset in real time.

• Shaking Meditation: Gently shake out each part of your body, starting from the feet up. This helps release pent-up tension and stored stress.

• Shoulder Rolls + Deep Sigh: Roll your shoulders back 5x, then forward 5x, then take a long sigh. Sounds simple, but it signals your body it’s safe to soften.

• Grounding Through Nature: Place your bare feet on the earth. Even a few minutes can regulate your stress response.

🗣️ Let It Out

You don’t need a formal therapy session to express what’s inside. Try these ways to release what’s been building up:

• Voice Memo to Yourself: Talk it out—like you would to a best friend. Name what you’re feeling, without needing to fix it.

• “Everything I’m Holding” List: Grab a notebook and write down everything that’s on your mental plate. Don’t edit. Just release.

• Draw Your Emotions: Even if you’re not artistic, giving your emotions color and shape on paper can be surprisingly freeing.

🧑🏾🤝🧑🏽 Find Your Safe Person (or People)

Even if you’re not in therapy, you don’t have to carry everything alone.

Ask yourself:

• Who in my life makes me feel safe being real?

• Who listens without jumping in to fix?

• Who leaves me feeling a little lighter after we talk?

It could be a close friend, a sibling, a coworker, or someone in a community group. You don’t need to share everything—but opening up just a little can help release the emotional pressure that’s been building.

Pro tip: Tell them what you need before you talk. Try: “I’m not looking for advice—I just need someone to hear me today.”

And if no one comes to mind, it might be time to gently widen your circle. Community care is part of self-care, too.

🎧 Tune Into Something That Heals You

Sometimes we don’t have words—but sound can still shift us. Try:

• A guided meditation track (like this 10 Minute Body Scan Meditation for Stress Relief or one from Insight Timer, YouTube, etc.)

• Sound healing like this Twenty Minute Sound Bath to Awaken Your True Self, or tracks focused on theta waves or 528Hz frequencies to find calm and balance.

• Soothing instrumental playlists or nature sounds while you rest or work

Sound bypasses the thinking brain. It helps you feel instead of overthinking your way out of pain.

💡 Change Your Space, Change Your State

Small shifts in your environment can help you feel just a little more held.

• Declutter one corner of your space—physical clearing can ease mental overwhelm

• Create a calm corner with soft lighting, cozy textures, and something living (like a plant)

• Say no to one thing this week that drains you. Reclaiming your energy is a form of healing

🧭 Build Your Support Stack

Think of this as your mini healing team—made up of the small tools, rituals, and habits that help you feel a little more like yourself. You don’t need a full plan. Just pick 2–3 that feel doable and return to them regularly.

Start where you are. Add what feels good. Let it evolve.

According to a recent survey, 81 percent of Americans are worried about losing their job this year—and honestly, who could blame them?

The economy feels like it’s on the edge. With the stock market rollercoaster ride, new tariffs sparking a global trade war, and layoffs picking up steam in 2025, the stress is real. Every scroll through the news feels like another reason to clench your jaw, tighten your shoulders, and ask: Am I going to be okay?

If you’re feeling more anxious than usual—about money, stability, your future—you’re not imagining it. Economic uncertainty hits hard. It messes with your focus, your sleep, and even your physical health.

But while you can’t control the headlines, you can control how you care for yourself through the chaos.

Below are practical, science-backed strategies to recession-proof your well-being—so you can feel grounded, clear, and resilient, no matter what the market (or the politicians) do next.

Recession-Proof Rituals for Your Mind and Body

1. Manage Economic Stress with Mindful Breathing

When the economy feels shaky, your nervous system feels it too. Rising stress levels trigger fight-or-flight mode, making it harder to think clearly or make good decisions. Mindful breathing helps short-circuit that stress response and bring you back to the present.

Try this:

✅ Take 5 minutes daily for deep breathing to calm anxiety. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming anxiety and improving clarity. Try out the guided practice here.

2. Shift your mindset

When the economy feels uncertain, it’s easy for your thoughts to spiral into worst-case scenarios. But not every worry deserves your energy. Learning to pause, zoom out, and reframe your thinking can help you move from fear to focus.

Try this:

✅ When financial stress shows up, ask: Is this a problem I need to solve right now, or a fear about the future? If it’s the latter, gently bring your attention back to what you can control today.

3. Build a Financial Self-Care Routine

Financial stress can feel like a constant low-grade buzz in the background—but having a few calming money habits can lower the volume. Financial self-care isn’t about having it all figured out—it’s about feeling more steady and in control, even in an unpredictable economy.

Try this:

✅ Set small, achievable goals: Whether it’s building a mini emergency fund, trimming a single expense, or tracking your spending, even tiny wins build confidence.

✅ Avoid doomscrolling financial news: Constantly refreshing market updates or reading layoff stories fuels anxiety. Set healthy limits—and balance it with uplifting or inspiring content.

✅ Practice gratitude for what’s solid: Even during financial strain, a daily gratitude practice (just 3 things!) can rewire your brain toward calm and abundance.

4. Reset Your Body with Movement

When anxiety builds up, your body holds the tension—tight shoulders, clenched jaw, restlessness, or fatigue. Economic stress doesn’t just live in your mind—it gets stuck in your muscles. Movement is one of the most effective ways to release that tension and support your nervous system.

Try this:

✅ Shake it off: A 60-second shake-out—hands, arms, shoulders, legs—can literally help reset your system and release stress that’s been stored in your body.

✅ Move daily: Even a 10-minute walk can lower cortisol and lift your mood. This isn’t about getting fit—it’s about helping your body feel safe again.

✅ Stretch what feels tight: You don’t need a full yoga flow. Just tune in: Where do you feel the tension? Move there gently and breathe through it. If you don’t know where to start, here’s a 30 second stretch to try.

5. Be Intentional with Your Morning & Evening Routine

When the outside world feels uncertain, having even a small sense of predictability in your day can be a game changer. Daily rituals remind your brain: I’m safe right now. I have some control. That steadiness helps anchor you through chaos.

Try this:

✅ Start your morning with intention: Whether it’s 5 minutes of journaling, stretching, or sipping your tea without a screen, begin the day on your terms. Try this 5 minute morning routine for grounding and focus.

✅ End the workday with a “shutdown” cue: Close the laptop. Take a walk. Light a candle. These tiny rituals help signal that the stress of the day is done. Try this 10 minute after work wind-down meditation.

Final Thoughts

The economy may feel shaky, but your inner foundation doesn’t have to be.

By tending to your nervous system, creating grounding habits, and shifting your mindset, you can recession-proof your well-being—one small action at a time.

What’s one thing you can do today to take care of your future self? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear.

Generational trauma in the Black community is real. From the trauma of slavery and segregation to systemic racism and microaggressions, we have inherited not just our ancestors’ strength but also their pain.

We weren’t meant to just survive—we were meant to thrive. But first, we have to break the cycles that no longer serve us. The good news? Healing is possible. And it starts with us.

What is Generational Trauma and How Does It Affect Black People?

Have you ever felt like you’re carrying a weight that isn’t just yours?

Generational trauma (also called intergenerational trauma) happens when the pain of past generations gets passed down—emotionally, behaviorally, and even biologically. The American Psychological Association defines it as “a phenomenon in which the descendants of a person who has experienced a terrifying event show adverse emotional and behavioral reactions to the event that are similar to those of the person himself or herself.”

For Black people, that trauma didn’t start with us. It’s the result of:

• The trauma of slavery and its lasting effects

• Jim Crow laws and segregation

• Police violence and mass incarceration

• Economic and healthcare disparities

• Being valued for our labor over our humanity

Our ancestors survived unimaginable hardships. But survival mode has a cost—it teaches us to suppress emotions, push through pain, and keep going even when we’re breaking inside. And without healing, we pass these patterns on to the next generation.

Is Trauma Passed Down Through Our DNA?

Have you ever wondered why stress feels deep in your body—like it’s always been there?

Science backs up what many of us already know: trauma is inherited.

Through epigenetics, researchers have found that traumatic experiences can alter how our genes are expressed. Studies show that the descendants of enslaved people, Holocaust survivors, and communities that have suffered collective trauma are more likely to experience heightened stress, anxiety, and even chronic health conditions—because trauma literally rewires our nervous system.

But just as trauma can be passed down, healing can be passed down, too.

How Does Generational Trauma Show Up in Black Families?

You don’t have to be directly harmed to inherit the pain. Trauma shapes culture, and in Black families, it often looks like:

• “Tough love” parenting – Using criticism or harsh discipline instead of emotional support.

• Emotional suppression – Not talking about feelings because “we don’t have time for that.”

• Fear of authority – Distrusting doctors, therapists, or institutions because of historical harm.

• Hypervigilance – Always being on edge, waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

• Workaholism and Perfectionism – Feeling like you have to do more just to be seen as enough.

• Ignoring mental health – Believing therapy is “for white people” or that prayer alone is enough.

These patterns were survival skills—but survival isn’t the same as healing. And we deserve more than just survival.

How Do We Break the Cycle and Heal?

1. Acknowledge the Trauma Without Shame

Black families often avoid talking about pain because we’ve been told to just “be strong.” But strength isn’t about suppressing—it’s about facing reality.

• What painful experiences shaped your family?

• What patterns do you see repeating?

• What are you carrying that isn’t yours to hold?

Naming the trauma is the first step toward releasing it.

2. Be Open to Therapy and Mental Health Support

For generations, Black people have been told therapy isn’t for us. But the truth is, we need spaces to heal.

• Have you considered therapy with a culturally competent provider?

• Could healing circles, group therapy, or community support help?

• Have you explored alternative healing methods like breathwork, EMDR, or somatic therapy?

Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of resistance against generational pain.

If you’re looking for a Black Therapist, find one close to you here:

• Psychology Today Black Therapists Directory

• Therapy for Black Girls Directory

3. Prioritize Rest and Nervous System Healing

Rest is revolutionary for Black people. Slavery, capitalism, and racism have conditioned us to overwork—but healing happens when we slow down.

• Are you practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, or meditation?

• Are you setting boundaries around work and emotional labor?

• Are you giving yourself permission to rest without guilt?

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s ancestral healing.

Check out the following resources to help on your journey:

• Feb 22: ROOTS Ancestral Breathwork to Heal Generational Trauma (virtual)

• April 6: Vitality Tune-Up to reset your nervous system (virtual)

• Guided Meditation to Heal from Microaggressions & Racism

• 20 Minute Sound Bath

4. Be Different for the Next Generation

If we want to break the cycle, we have to parent and mentor differently.

• Are we creating safe spaces for our children to express emotions?

• Are we moving away from “tough love” and toward compassionate guidance?

• Are we teaching our kids to set boundaries, say no, and protect their peace?

Healing isn’t just about us—it’s about what we pass forward.

The Cycle Ends With Us

Breaking generational trauma is hard. But it’s also liberation.

We are not just our ancestors’ pain—we are their prayers answered. They survived so we could heal.

So, take a deep breath. The cycle ends with you. 💜

Do you feel a pit in your stomach thinking about what might happen next? I do. As I reflect on the return of a Trump administration, I’ll admit that my mind spirals with worries. What if I lose my healthcare? What if my friends/family who are not citizens are forced to leave? What if the damage around climate change and the environment becomes irreversible? What if overt racism becomes more normalized? What happens if diversity, equity, and inclusion programs are completely gutted across the board—what does that mean for the long-term economic prospects of the Black community, or for income disparities that already feel insurmountable?

These fears aren’t just mine—they’re shared by so many others who are grappling with the uncertainty of what’s to come. Let’s face it: The 2024 election results have left us anxious about how our personal and professional lives could change, and how the world could change. And, the actions taken in his first 24 hours in power aren’t exactly assuaging these fears!

While the famous Heraclitus quote, "The only constant in life is change," holds true, not knowing exactly how it will change can have a huge impact on our mental and physical health. Research shows that uncertainty triggers a biological and psychological response similar to that of anticipating physical danger, and your perception of danger is higher when you don't know what’s going to happen. As the mind spirals into “what-ifs” and worst-case scenarios, anxiety increases, often leading to physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, and muscle tension. And, 60% of those with anxiety will also have symptoms of depression, which just adds to the problem. Has anyone else felt some low moments in the last couple months?

While we can’t change what will happen, we don’t have to feel this way. What if, instead of letting these fears paralyze us, we focus on what we can control. When you find yourself falling into a moment of worry about the future, here are 6 tips that can help you find some grounding:

6 Tools for Managing Anxiety and Worry

1. Pinpoint the Core of Your Fear. Write down your “what-ifs” and trace them to their root. As you dig deeper, for each fear, ask yourself repeatedly, “Why is that a bad thing?” until you uncover the core of your fear. For example, I’m worried I won’t have healthcare, and this is bad because if I get into a car accident or a cancer diagnosis, I’ll be under water in medical bills and won’t be able to recover. What is it that you are truly afraid of?

2. Prepare for the Worst-Case Scenario. If the worst were to happen, how would you cope? Consider practical steps and resources you could lean on. For example, if you’re worried a loved one might be deported or lose their ability to work, how might you support them? What legal and financial resources can you tap into?

3. Focus on What’s Most Likely to Happen. Most fears don’t come to fruition as imagined. Ground yourself in reality by identifying the most likely outcomes, which are often far less dire than the worst-case scenarios.

4. Breathe for Grounding. 4-7-8 Breathing is a powerful technique to calm your nervous system: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale for 8, and repeat this for 2 minutes.

5. Build a Comfort Kit. Gather items that bring you peace—essential oils, a favorite playlist, a comforting book, or photos of loved ones. When anxiety strikes, turn to your kit to ground yourself.

6. Lean Into Community. Share your worries with trusted friends or colleagues. Speaking your fears out loud often reduces their power.

The future may feel uncertain, but you remember that you have tools to navigate the challenges ahead. You’ve weathered storms before, and you have the strength to do it again. Let’s take it one breath at a time.